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2006/February
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Romiley News
ROMILEY NEWS
Romiley involved in string of decoy robberies?

The record £50 million pound kidnap/robbery aimed at the cash collection centre in Kent kicked off at 6:30 p.m. on the penultimate Tuesday of the month. Simultaneously, armed robbers did over the bookmaker in Romiley. BlackFlag News is currently checking local newspapers for signs of a pattern of decoy robberies across the country.

SNEAKY BUGGER NEWS
new labour plan to rule the world – forever?

rose & swastikanew labour is trying to sneak in laws which will let them abolish the 5-year time limit on a parliamentary term, change any law that offends them without reference to parliament, abolish trial by jury, lock up anyone they like for as long as they like and rule by decree for as long as they like.
   Or for as long as they are allowed to do so before the population rises up in revolt and strings the lot of them up from ornamental lamp posts.

h7We know where you are, citizen!
The real reason why new labour is so keen on ID cards is that the chip on them will contain a low-power circuit, which will broadcast the cardholders details on demand. Before ID cards become compulsory, the government plans to build a network of scanners so that anyone carrying an unshielded card, or a mobile phone, can be tracked wherever they go.

INVENTION OF THE CENTURY
   Yob-frightener par excellence

h5The high-tech device is called The Mosquito and it emits a piercing, high-frequency sound which can be heard only by young ears, generally belonging to kids between 12 and 20. Costing £600 a pop, the devices are being mounted in shops and indoor shopping centres to prevent mobs of anti-social yobs gathering and annoying paying customers. The device is manufactured by Compound Security Systems, who say it does not damage hearing and animals are unaffected by it.

Money to burn
MONEY TO
BURN NEWS
It's only taxpayer's money
so why not waste it?

h9Following the total bog that the chancellor made of selling off half of Britain's gold reserves – he announced the sale well in advance and drove the price down – the government has done the same with the piece of QinetiQ, the Ministry of Defence military research lab, which was privatized off in 2002.
   The American investment group Carlyle got 31% of the shares (and 51% of the voting rights) for a mere £42 million. Four years later, their shares are worth £338 million at the official price for the shares on offer in the next selling-off exercise.

h7Non-balancing books everywhere!
What do the Home Office and the European Union have in common? Dodgy accounts. The National Audit Office has refused to approve the Home Office's last set of accounts as they include a 'fiddle factor' of £945 million to make the books balance. Each successive set of accounts offered to the official auditor was riddled with the sort of inconsistencies and absences which have ensured that the EU's fraud-ridden accounts have not received their auditor's approval within living memory.
   The civil servant responsible for the shambles, Sir John Grieve, is now a deputy governor of the Bank of England.

h4prime minister gets generous with the IRA
new labour has restored their parliamentary expenses to the quintet of IRA MPs, even though the £26 million stolen from an Ulster bank in December 2004 has not yet been recovered, and they are also getting an extra allowance of £84,000 per head per year. So Britain's taxpayers can be sure that some dirty deal has been done.

h0It's your licence fee they're abusing
The Beeb is treating this summer's World Cup tournament in Germany as an opportunity for a giant staff outing. The sports production crew will be over twice as big as the ITV crew. They will be accompanied by an additional gang (almost equal in size to the ITV crew) from BBC Online, and national and regional news and radio. Not to mention 20 senior executives, who will just be on a junket for the whole of the event.

h3Money hurtling down the drain
The government is spending £63,000 per day on ID cards and it has blown £32 million of taxpayers' money since the spring of 2003.

Merchant Submarine by Henry T. SmithLate Winter Offer

BlackFlag News is pleased to announce that this ground-breaking work by one of Romiley's most distinguished authors, and a founder member of Romiley Literary Circle, can now be downloaded in PDF format.

Get the Book free from the RLC Downloads page
Read about the Book and the author's other works on the Romiley Literary Circle website

Category : Military fiction – An alternative, profitable future for Britain's armed forces if freed from political interference. Written 30 years ago but now becoming new labour policy!

MASS HORROSCOPE FOR FEBRUARY

h9One of you is going to get really lucky this month. As for the rest, you might as well go into hibernation until March!

CARTOONS NEWS
"What IS all the fuss about?"

h0No more virgins!"Having seen the Terrible Twelve cartoons, it's quite plain that no one with more than 2 brain cells to rub together would be offended by them, and it comes as no surprise to learn that Syria and Iran are funding the agitators who are making all the fuss. The people behind all the arson and mayhem are obviously just (1) hooligans looking for an excuse to run riot to brighten up their dull little lives and (2) the professionally aggrieved."

h2"The Provisional wing of Islam is clearly spoiling for a fight but too chicken to be up-front about it – hence the need to get some alibis in place first."

h2Only 2 of the cartoons are any good and the better of the pair is shown above in a somewhat sawn-off condition. If you want to see all 12 cartoons, CLICK HERE but prepare to be severely underwhelmed!

h3Some counter-blasting 'Cartoons from the Arab World', with his comments, are available on the website of self-proclaimed Mideast media analyst Tom Gross

h4The Terrible Twelve cartoons are also on the Action In England website along with links to lots more cartoons.

Super Bowl 40
Plenty of action in Detroit

Congrats to the Pittsburgh Steelers for winning the 40th Super Bowl and joining the Cowboys and the 49ers on 5 wins. Hard cheese to the Seahawks for coming second, but they should try to follow in the footsteps of the Miami Dolphins, who lost their first Super Bowl but went on to win the next, Super Bowl 7, after a perfect season and also won Super Bowl 8.
For a report on the match, visit Mr.Wydey's TV reviews.

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
Crooks In Action

As a public service, Jenson Farrago is offering access to his collection of bogus lottery, phishing and other email spam. CLICK HERE to find out what miracles they offer.

Criminal News
CRIMINAL NEWS
Burglars Beware! (In Italy)

h0The Italian government has given its citizens the right 'to use weapons to defend themselves and their property', provided the citizen is in real danger 'and the intruder shows no sign of desisting'. The law came into effect three days too late to help a man from Verona, who is currently being persecuted for shooting and killing two burglars, who broke into his home in the early hours of the morning.
   The British government, or what passes for it, shows no signs of giving its customers the same protection from police persecution. And Thames Valley police has no plans to do anything about its policy of confiscating legally held shotguns to make life safer for thieves.

h1new labour's brilliant new idea – The Cat Police
Pussy cats are to get a brand new legal status and anyone who persecutes them is liable to find him/herself on the wrong end of a fine of £5,000 and, perhaps, a gaol sentence. The new Crimes Against Cats will include:
 • Failure to provide a proper diet
 • Failure to provide suitable living conditions
 • Failure to provide companionship or solitude as the cat wishes, and
 • Failure to provide protection from suffering, injury and disease
   The Cat Police will have the power to persecute owners who put their cat out at night and fail to provide privacy for the moggy's toilet facilities. Failing to provide sufficient mental stimulation and letting a cat become overweight will also be grounds for a dawn raid by the Cat Police.
   The forthcoming Declaration of Feline Rights is currently an 18-page document but its size is expected to blossom as Home Office bureaucrats sink their teeth into the project.
   Once the Cat Police service is up and running, new labour will provide similar services for other species, continuing with dogs and tropical fish. The master plan is to create rights and a special police force for all non-human species in due course in the interests of creating lots more jobs dependent on new labour patronage.

h2Gambling? No way, mate!
The government has decided to let prisoners buy Premium Bonds, which were previously banned under the regulation which outlaws gambling in prisons. Some bright spark has decided that Premium Bonds are no longer a gamble – they're really an investment.

h3Bulldozers for Ulster
As part of the government's new policy of getting tough with those who glorify terrorism, the Home Office is handing out highly lucrative contracts to demolition firms which have made donations to the labour party. Their mission will be to tour Northern Ireland and take out all structures bearing slogans supporting terrorism and/or paramilitary emblems.
   "Demolition without compensation will be the rule," a Home Office spokesman said.

Home News
HOME NEWS
How to make £10.6 million in the first week of this month (maybe)

h91. Scrape together £114,413,040.
2. Use the cash to buy 76,275,360 Euromillions lottery tickets, each ticket bearing one of the possible combinations of 5/50 main numbers and 2/9 lucky star numbers.
3. Pray that no one else wins a share of the £125 million jackpot and costs you a whole lot of cash.
4. Pray that Camelot doesn't notice what you've done as, apparently, it's against their rules to cover all possible combinations in a lottery draw.

h8new labour, new smoking policy
Cannabis is okay at any age, the government has decided, but customers will have to 18 or older to buy cigarettes.

h7The Number 1 British Icon
Fox hunting has topped a government website's poll to determine what's the number one British Icon. The government is muttering 'foul' through clenched teeth, having banned fox hunting but not stopped it.

h6Postal lottery punished
Industry regulator Postcomm has fined the Royal Mail £12 million because of the amount of post which is lost, stolen or damaged, and for failing to reach delivery targets in London postcode areas SE, WC and E, where two million letters were delivered late during 2004/5. Poor management of the recruitment and training of staff are blamed. The Royal Mail pleads 'not guilty' or 'not our fault' to all charges.

h5Buy yer own bloody bowl, Dai!
The idiots running of the Welsh Assembly building won't provide a washing-up bowl for use in the sink in the kitchen. They reckon the staff should buy their own bowl. And they won't supply a plug for the sink so that it can be filled up with water 'in case it is left in and the sink overflows'.

h4Hacked to bits
The fear of identity theft has been good news for the firms which make and sell shredders. Argos reports an increase in sales of 50% and Tesco is selling 24,000 per month compared to 10,000 per month last year.

h3"You're not fooling anyone, mate!"
The chancellor is trying to get himself rebranded as a decent human being rather than a money-grubbing, bungling meddler. Trading Standards officers up and down the country are on overtime investigating complaints of 'passing off' and serial misrepresentation.

h2"If you're not telling us, you must be up to something!"
ID cards were sold first as the only way to stop international terrorism dead in its tracks. Now, they're all about stopping identity theft. Don't you wish this shifty government would get its story straight? And also come clean about how much ID cards are really going to cost and which of the prime monster's cronies will be benefitting from a large slice of the action.

h1Don't you just love joined-up government in action?
600,000 people die in Britain every year. 46,000 of those deaths are due to obesity. 49-4,200 (estimates vary wildly) are due to passive smoking. Yet obesity has not been made illegal but smoking has.

h0BBC political bias exposed
The Beeb has been convicted of political bias during the 2005 general election campaign. The investigation followed a complaint that the corporation's chief political correspondent reported that Michael Howard had been booed while taking the platform for an edition of Question Time but not that tony blair had received the same treatment. The BBC's institutional political bias to labour was further demonstrated by a decision to reduce the volume of booing directed at blair during a subsequent 'news' report to give a false impression of his relative popularity.

h9Bird protection move
The ravens of the Tower of London have been locked up to protect them from French exports of bird flu. The government wanted to leave them on show and replace any casualties with new birds, but no one could believe that the truth wouldn't leak out sooner rather than later.
UpdateCuriously, DEFRA, the former Ministry of Agriculture, is dragging its feet over giving permission for birds normally kept outside at zoos – e.g. penguins and flamingos – to be vaccinated against bird flu. It looks like the standard new labour state of paralysis has clicked in when there is a decision to be made and the ministry won't do anything until it's far too late, as with the 2001 foot & mouth outbreak. So new labour's customers are advised to expect a bird flu disaster in due course.

h8Council Tax doubled
The average Council Tax payment was £525 in 1997. The average bill for 2006 will be twice this amount after the latest round of double-inflation rises comes into force.

h7The abbey ducks out of a challenge to 'rip-off' charges
Law student Stephen Hone claimed damages from the abbey bank for charging him £32 whenever they refused to pay a direct debit because he had insufficient funds in his account. His case was that the charge is illegal under the 1999 Consumer Contracts Regulations and an arbitrary figure bearing no relation to the abbey's administrative costs. Mr. Hone has been offered a settlement of £5,000 to keep the affair out of the courts.

h6He's trying to get himself noticed again
Lord Pillock, the man who tackled corruption in the European Commission by sacking anyone who exposed it, would like Britain to get rid of the mile and switch to kilometres 'before the 2012 Olympics'. He has been told, firmly, to go away and boil his head.

h5IoM Poop Squad in action
Police on the Isle of Man are collecting samples of dog poop from the streets that they patrol to create a DNA catalogue. They hope to be able to use their databank to persecute dog owners who fail to scoop their hound's poop, and fine them £1,000.
   "Dog poop is a massive problem," one of the officers involved said. "You daren't walk in a straight line here."

SBFE logoLivingstone nobbled by Jewish lobby
London mayor Ken Livingstone has been barred from office for 4 weeks by the Standards Board for England's kangaroo court. His crime was being rude to a Jewish reporter who was making a nuisance of himself. The Board ruled that he brought his office into disrepute even though he was off duty at the time.
   "How come the Ajudication Board's decision to suspend Ken Livingstone is an 'outrage to democracy' when this kangaroo court's willing complicity in cheap political vendettas has been perfectly okay since new labour wished it on us?"

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

POLITICAL CRIMINALITY

Politicians fall foul of the rules from time to time. BlackFlag News has come across the case of a local government councillor who suffered a particularly disproportionate treatment in the kangaroo court run by that new labour creation, the Standards Board for England.

CLICK HERE to find out (a) what sort of punishments MPs receive for their crimes (and what they can get away with), (b) how their punishment compares with what happened to Councillor M and (c) how lightly Ken Livingstone got off.

DEPARTURES

The Western Union Telegram

Founded in 1856 to transmit messages by telegraph to all available parts of the United States, the company has decided that new era technology has made its primary function obsolete. With emails and instant messages available on the internet, Western Union delivered just 20,000 telegrams last year at $10 a go, which didn't do much for the company's wage bill. In future, Western Union plans to concentrate on money transfers and other financial services.

DEPARTURES

Henry McGee

The archetypal comic's straight man has died at 76. Through the second half of the 20th Century, he worked with the likes of Charlie Drake, Tommy Cooper, Frankie Howerd, Terry Scott, Dick Emery and Eric Sykes, but he is best remembered for his long association with Benny Hill. When not working on a TV series, Mr. McGee toured with theatre companies and worked in shows on cruise liners. He enjoyed a long and successful working life thanks for his ability to get on with his job and avoid bruising the egos of the star performers.

DEPARTURES

Al Lewis

The actor who played Grandpa (aged 378) in the TV series The Munsters has died at 82. After working in the circus, and burlesque and vaudeville theatre shows, Mr. Lewis got his TV break in the comedy cop show Car 54, Where Are You? in the early 1960s. Fred Gwynne, another refugee from 'Car 54', played his son-in-law, Herman, in The Munsters. Mr. Lewis's career continued in TV comedies and feature films, and he stood for governor of New York on a Green party ticket in 1998.

DEPARTURES

Andreas Katsulas

The actor who played Ambassador G'Kar in Babylon 5, the best TV science fiction series of all time, has died at 59. He chose to become an actor at an early age, and studied theatre to master's degree level at St. Louis then Indiana universities.
   He was one of the principal characters of the Babylon 5 universe, growing his part through the 5-year story arc. He was also a guest star on a large range of TV series, from The Equalizer, Murder, She Wrote and NYPD Blue to Alien Nation, Millennium and Star Trek: The Next Generation. His film roles included appearances in The Sicilian (1987), Hot Shots! Part Deux (1993) and The Fugitive remake (1993).

DEPARTURES

The Mobile Army Surgical Hospital

Created in the final years of World War II to provide well-equipped operating theatres close to the front line, the US army has abolished the MASH unit after 60 years. They have been replaced by combat support hospitals.
   MASH units enjoyed their finest hours during the Korean and Vietnam wars, and their work was immortalized in the novel M*A*S*H (1968) by US army surgeon Richard Hornberger (writing as Richard Hooker). The movie followed in 1970 and the TV series began its 11 year run in 1972. The series is still being shown in Britain on the digital TV channel Paramount Comedy 2 (17:00 & 21:00).

DEPARTURES

Sir Freddie Laker

The man who revolutionized air travel with budget prices has died at 83. He founded Laker Airways to challenge the big carriers with his Skytrain service, building on experience gained during the Berlin Air-Bridge and his service with British European Airways. His rivals took umbrage and the firm was forced out of business in 1982. Several major carriers subsequently had to pay compensation to Sir Freddie and the liquidators of his airline, giving substance to his accusations that they had conspired together to sink Laker Airways.

DEPARTURES

Peter Benchley

The author of Jaws (1974) and Claws has died at 65. Steven Spielberg's film of his first novel was a monster hit and a great boost to the author's future earning potential. It also had the unwelcome consequence of turning the great white shark into public enemy number one and a 'legitimate' target for any nutter with diving gear and explosive spears. Many of Peter Benchley's novels have the sea as a background theme and he felt obliged to turn shark conservationist in a bid to undo some of the havoc wreaked by marine vandals.

DEPARTURES

Jackie 'Mr. TV' Pallo

One of the stars of ITV's World of Sport has died at 80. Jackie Pallo, with bleached hair tied up with a ribbon and his trademark striped trunks, was a regular on the Saturday afternoon freestyle wrestling programme before the football results. His rivalry with fellow bad guy Mick McManus was the stuff of legends. The frequent victim of assaults by old ladies with hat-pins and handbags, he was a master of dirty tricks in a branch of the wrestling world which still retained some contact with the rules and the concept of victory going to the more skilled man. [Unlike the WW$. Ed.]

NOT DEPARTED

The Pint of Milk

The European Commission has been bludgeoned into keeping its grasping mitts off traditional package sizes for wines, spirits, milk, bread and sugar as a result of a sustained campaign to preserve the pint of milk in Britain.

NOT DEPARTED

Maria Antonia Calvo

Registered as dead in a Barcelona court in 1994, the lady managed to prove that she was still alive in 1998, but she remained a legal non-person as the Spanish state lacked a reverse gear and a means of declaring someone undead. When she had a child, it was registered as an orphan as the mother was still officially deceased. But this month, Spain's bureaucratic machinery finally creaked to the conclusion that Ms Calvo really does belong in the land of the living.

world news
WORLD NEWS
You can take it with you when you go!

h0Americans in 20 states of the Union have found an interesting way to keep hold of their assets after their death. They're putting the money in a 'personal revival trust', having their corpse (or just the head) frozen in liquid nitrogen and hoping that medical science will have advanced far enough to revive them in about the 23rd Century. Trusts in the United States, and also Liechtenstein, are offering a return on the investment sufficient to provide a reasonable living when the frozen one is revived.
   Of course, not everyone is thrilled by these arrangements, especially children and other heirs, who were hoping to strike it rich eventually. And so the lawyers are getting even richer as alternative wills are dragged into court to 'prove' that the deceased really wanted the kids to get all the money. What would we do for entertainment without the antics of the conspicuously rich?

Joseph GoebbelsDr. Goebbels Department for the European Commission?
The EC would like its own TV station and its own news agency to ensure that the people of Europe are exposed to its propaganda and popular enlightenment undiluted by the prejudices of European governments and other news agencies.
   The EC also wants a binding code of conduct to be imposed on other reporting organs to make sure that they report EC matters only in favourable terms. And, of course, the EC would like millions of euros out of the EU budget to pay for its exercise in preening.

h2Please don't persecute our war criminals
The Israelis have asked the British government to abolish the law allowing private citizens to obtain arrest warrants for war criminals and torturers who visit our shores. The present law is preventing Israeli military officers, serving and retired, from coming here, e.g. seeking NHS treatment without paying for it, and they're not happy about it.

h3If you want to be a millionaire on the cheap . . .
. . . then Zimbabwe is the place for you. Inflation at 580%, soon to be officially 800%, and the maladministration of President Mug the Malfeasant, have made a mockery of the Zimbabwean dollar. Mug's regime is now issuing new Z$50,000 notes worth all of 28p, which means anyone with £5.60 in real money can be a Zimby millionaire.

EU flag The Triple CrossEU seeks new corruption investigators
The Palestinian Authority, which has lost billions of dollars to fraud and misuse of public funds, has been approached to advise the European Commission. "They clearly have a great deal of experience of financial fraud," an EC spokesman said, "and they're tackling it more effectively than we are – hence the offer of a consultancy agreement."

EU flag The Triple CrossThe European Court of Justice doesn't deliver it.
Lord Woolf (the burglar's friend) has found that many judges at the European CoHR can't speak English and they don't understand the cases put before them. Which means that the court's outrageous rulings, which are automatically foisted on Britain thanks to new labour's subscription to the deeply flawed Euroconvention on human rights, are made by a minority of English-speaking legal vandals with suspect personal agendas.

h4The end of dunking buscuits in tea?
The Tea Research Association of India has come up with a brilliant idea – a biscuit which tastes of tea. A spokesman said, "The consumer gets an authentic dunked biscuit experience without all the sogginess."

h5Shape up or ship out, Monsieur!
The French government is requiring immigrants to 'integrate or be kicked out'. The tail will no longer be allowed to wag the dog across the Channel and migrants must show proper respect for their host country's customs or values, or else!

h6Now you see me, now you see me!
Australian troops are complaining about their new issue of body armour. They reckon it glows in the dark, making them an easy target for anyone at all, never mind snipers with night-vision equipment.

h7New Zealanders get tough with parrots
The organizers of a vintage car rally at an alpine village near Mount Cook, South Island, have hired a team of experts from a local karate club to protect the vehicles from keas. These local parrot have extremely sharp beaks and they have a history of attacking shiny objects.

No Nazis here!'Birthplace of Nazism' gaols Hitler apologist
Wallowing in feelings of guilt, the Austrian regime has chosen to lock up the combative historian David Irving for 3 years over comments made 20 years ago about Nazi extermination policies during World War II. The sentence is intended to make the world feel a little better about Austria and to peel away a little of the blame for crimes committed by Austrians two generations in the past.
   "Denying someone the right to express an opinion is a typical Nazi tactic; so no wonder they can get away with it in Austria!"

h8IRA stages riot in Dublin
Desperate for attention now that the world's attention is focussed on the murder and mayhem in Iraq, the IRA handed out bevvies and turned its yobs loose in the centre of Dublin on the last Saturday of the month.
   The riot was intended to prevent a protest march against the willingness of the Irish government to give shelter to terrorists, and also to deliver a 'we're still here' message to those on the receiving end of the IRA's protection rackets, drug dealing and other criminal activities.

TROUBLE-MAKERS MAKING THE NEWS

The Popular Movement for the Abolition of All Religions and the Toppling of All False GodsBrains in neutral

The Moslem world has been boycotting all things Danish after a newspaper printed a dozen cartoons featuring Mohammed, the Moslem prophet. Curiously, they were printed in September last year but the trouble didn't start until last month, confirming that the outrage is mainly manufactured for political purposes.
   Now, papers in France, Germany, Italy, the Netherlands and Spain have included the cartoons in features proclaiming the right of freedom of expression in a secular country and containing more cartoons aimed at other popular religions. BBC television and Channel 4 also showed glimpses of the cartoons 'in context' to give their viewers some small idea of what they showed.
   The reaction of Palestinian terrorists has been to threaten to blow up everything European in their territory and kidnap any handy Europeans. Which is hardly likely to encourage the assaulted nations to continue to hand out millions of euros to prop up the Palestinian regime.

Behead those who insult Britainp.s. Western newspapers publish cartoons. Islamic websites post video clips of real, live (temporarily) human beings having their head hacked off by a fanatical sadist. Which is preferable?

p.p.s. Only false gods require constant worship and adoration from mere human beings.

p.p.p.s. All religions dehumanize people and the bunch who push the suicide-bomber version of Islam seem to manage an extra special dose of human-quality extraction.

Iraq flagThe Arab half of the news :
British soldiers bashing mere children with big sticks because they're sadistic brutes and worse than Saddam Hussein's forces (which went in for murder, gassing, torture, etc. on an industrial scale.)
What they left out : The mortar attack and the attack with home-made grenades on the British soldiers' camp, the violent mob outside and the snatch squads extracting the ringleaders, who were stirring up the trouble, instead of just shooting the bastards, which they were perfectly entitled to do under international law.

This Month's Garbage

The Garbage  Metropolitan police commissioner sir ian blair (no relation) [continuing from last month] for rejecting New York's zero-tolerance policing policy in favour of his own variation of the Chicago force's softly, softly approach. The blair version has the working title do nothing (to upset criminals), but something snappier is expected to emerge from the focus groups.

 Moslems causing trouble in Britain about cartoons printed in newspapers in other countries.

 The Metropolitan police service, which chases the perpetrators of imaginary hate crimes with vigour but ignores supporters of Islamic terrorism when they parade their poisonous views in the capital city.

 "Freedom Go To Hell"

 A police force which arrests people who object to a parade of supporters of Islamic terrorism and does its best to get in the way of the news media when they try to expose what the police are up to.

 The Can't Prosecute Service, which submitted to new labour's wish to protect the Moslem vote and failed to prosecute Abu Hamza for almost the entire span of new labour's period in office.

 What's this "shake 'n' bakery syndrome" they kept going on about on the news?

 The 'glorification of terrorism' law – it's going to be unworkable because of sloppy drafting, it's there only so that new labour can pretend to be doing something about terrorism after 8 years of inaction, and it's an alibi for the 8 idle years, during which new labour made no attempt to use perfectly adequate existing laws to shut down the likes of Abu Hamza.

 'Slimline' apples containing half the sugar content of normal ones and the notion that eating apples makes you fat.

 gordon broon dressing up a Biggles in search of the military vote.

 Sharia law for everyone living in an area of Britain with a Moslem majority.

 'Intelligent design' – "You've only got to look at the design of the people advocating it to see it's not terribly intelligent."
or "If there is an intelligent designer, why didn't it do a better job? Or is life on Earth just a student project which was abandoned after the designer got a D minus?"

 All the students who claim that creationism is such a brilliant idea.

 All this crap about Prince Chazzer dabbling in politics – it's just a diversion. He didn't break any laws by telling the government where it was going wrong but the Mail on Sunday did break the law by infringing his intellectual property rights and publishing his material for profit without seeking his permission and without paying him.

No. 10 Certificate of EndorsementThis edition of BlackFlag News was compiled in accordance with official 10 Downing Street guidelines on accuracy and veracity.

 
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