Russia's FSB (formerly KGB) agents are busy checking all rocks in public places in and around Moscow to find out if they're really high-tech message drops for British spies. That job done, the unlucky FSB faces the additional problem of locating similar devices, which could be hidden in bricks, stone and concrete construction blocks, hollow trees, substantial wooden fencing posts and all sorts of other places.
A northern bottlenose whale, which swam up the Thames to the Battersea bridge area, had to be provided with a River Police protection squad when the staff of the Japanese embassy turned up on the river bank brandishing harpoons.
Residents of the International Space Station will soon be allowed to enjoy an alcoholic drink. The official reason given is that the Russians decided that a small ration of alcohol would help to prevent weight loss in their cosmonauts when they have to do strenuous manual work.
Stardust payload arrives safely
Off to the Outer Limits
Glasgow council has begun a rolling ban on glass containers in the city's pubs and night clubs. Which means that all beverages beer, wine, champagne, etc. will have to be consumed out of 'plastics' rather than glasses. Drinking straight from glass bottles is O.U.T. and customers will have to receive the contents of a bottle of champagne by the plasticful, as they won't be allowed to have glass bottles at their table.
Planting trees to remove carbon dioxide from the atmosphere is a waste of time as far as doing anything about global warming is concerned. Why? Because trees release enough methane, a 30x more efficient greenhouse gas than carbon dioxide, to reverse (and a lot more) the cooling effect due to fixing carbon.
New Year Offer
BlackFlag News is pleased to announce that this ground-breaking work by one of Romiley's most distinguished authors, and a founder member of Romiley Literary Circle, can now be downloaded in PDF format.
Category : Military fiction An alternative, profitable future for Britain's armed forces if freed from political interference.
The government keeps insisting that ID cards will be entirely voluntary, and the people who buy one won't have to carry it. At the same time, lord falconer's department of constitutional affairs is planning to get local councils to cross-check data from the national id card database with their electoral registers to identify people who don't have an ID card.
A mini-brothel on a street near you soon?
A member of Romiley Philatelic Circle has asked us to help establish his provenance of this postmark, which appeared on a postcard sent during the summer of last year.
Someone is having us on
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
As a public service, Jenson Farrago is offering access to his collection of bogus lottery, phishing and other email spam. CLICK HERE to find out what miracles they offer.
The exclusive right to deliver letters in the UK has expired after 350 years. Big business is likely to be the only beneficiary of the change as the Royal Mail retains an obligation to deliver mail round the corner and to the most remote parts of Scotland at the same price. Servicing this requirement, plus an enormous black hole in its pension scheme, means that postal rates are bound to go up especially after the Royal Mail introduces its new pricing scheme based on size and weight rather than just weight.
The labour party would like to apologize for introducing the George Orwell '1984 Experience' 22 years late. From 2006/01/01, the police can arrest people, and take samples of their fingerprints and DNA, for any offence at all no matter how trivial. Worse, they can also arrest people if they only think they might have committed an offence. Our labour government sees a huge increase in intimidation by the police service as the only way it can hope to stifle increasingly widespread political dissent.
The double Oscar-winning Hollywood star, who managed to combine glamour with a ready sense of humour in her many roles on the big screen, has died at 85. She started her Hollywood career being killed off regularly, she took a time-out on the Broadway stage and she returned to the movies bigger and brassier. In addition to appearances in 156 films, her screen credits include pouring iced water over Oliver Reed during a TV show and getting into a punch-up with him.
The prime minister's illegal war in Iraq has claimed the life of a 100th member of the armed services. Cpl. Pritchard of the Royal Scots Dragoons died at 31, a victim of a bomb placed in a road by terrorists. He leaves behind a wife and 3 young children.
1. Free to use cash machines by 2010 Nationwide Building Society.
2. Corner Shops by 2015 the Commons All Party Small Shops Group.
3. 25% of all final salary pension schemes by 2011 the National Association of Pension Funds.
GMAC-RFC gave one of £207,000 to a black criminal in his 30s, who stole the identity of the 55-year-old white Englishman, from whom he rented the house in question through an agent. The criminal claimed that his income was £120K per annum and he managed to spell both of his victim's names wrongly on the application form. GMAC-RFC ignored 5 letters from the victim's brother warning them about the fraud, and the police (no surprise) didn't want to know either.
2,000-year-old con-job about to be exposed in Italy?
"Gaol fat johnny as an example to other tax dodgers!"
German courts adopt EU referendum swindle
Just passing time inside?
'Wendy's Finger' couple gaoled in USA
A Sheffield man, who was an AA member, died of a heart attack at the wheel of his car. When his brother-in-law tried to recover the car, it wouldn't start so he called the AA and quoted the deceased owner's details from his membership card.
Fashion plan for taxi drivers
The labour party, it would appear, is dead keen to add a new topic to the school curriculum the art & practice of sexual deviation. Campaigners seeking to legitimize the activities of homosexuals and transvestites, aided by the Metropolitan police, would like children to leave school proficient in their diversions even if they can neither read nor write.
labour short-changes anti-yob campaign
labour party political correctness blows a fuse
YER PRICE HAS GONE UP, YA BASTARDS!
Compensation even at a budget price
As dumb as it gets
brown wins 'Worst Chancellor Ever' award
Terrorist let-off cancelled
The anti-smoking lobby are really scraping the bottom of the barrel with this one; apparently, blokes who smoke 'at an early age', i.e. before puberty, have fat kids.
A more taxing existence
Education & Training on the job
The first bid for a place at the top of the 2006 Power Ranking for The Biggest Waste Of Time Of The Year is the plan to introduce a Power Ranking for the world's wonders. Only the pyramids survive of the original list of 7 wonders and they are eligible for the new list along with the likes of Stonehenge, the Great Wall of China, Angkor Wat, Machu Pichu, Petra and the Taj Mahal.
Polish all you like, mate, it won't make no difference!
Venezuela further along the road to ruin
Smoking ban bog-up
History re-writers at work again
Turn-about is fair play!
Don't Be Evil unless there's some dosh to be grabbed.
"What does it matter if the leader of the Trivial Democrats is a boozer? People only vote for them to stop labour or the Tories getting in. And it's not like he's ever going to be running the country."
"Why is it we always have to have a crap Scotsman as the leader of a political party or the 'leader in waiting'? Why can't they give the job to a crap Englishman for a change?
"What is the point of Menzies the Merciless? He'll be well past retirement age come the next general election so the Triv Dems are going to have to do their leadership election all over again in a year or so if he's 'coronated'."
"Since when did the 'police service' become The Society for the Abolition of All Comment About Sexual Deviants Other Than Those Made by Fully Paid Up Deviants and Their Apologists?"
"Sadly, the higher management of the Metropolitan Police is tainted with institutional stupidity."
"Does anyone really care who gets to be the leader of the Trivial Democrats, alias the Monster Raving Pervert Party?"
Because Windows was not properly shut down
"Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel" Samuel Johnson as quoted by James Boswell in 1775
Following the collapse of his campaign to save Africa, chancellor gordon brown is trying to get himself noticed again. His latest wheeze is to wrap himself in the flag by proposing American-style nationalism for Britain; including a Union flag in every garden and a mass cancellation of all the grovelling apologies offered by the present prime minister for great British achievements of the past.
GBH of the eyeballs or 'Typography as Terrorism'
Since 1984, the Royal Mail has produced an annual collection of the year's special issues in book form. Each set has its own chapter and there are philatelic mounts to display the stamps with their story.
"How would you define the activities of a Friedensverbrecher, which is the opposite of a Kriegsverbrecher?"
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