Hold The Phone!!!
Our current temporary prime minister says he's not going to step aside until the mess he and his cronies have created of the NHS has been sorted out.
BlackFlag News is pleased to announce that this ground-breaking work by one of Romiley's most distinguished authors can now be read on-line.
Category : The future of recycling in a violent & lawless society.
Saddam Hussein is finding his trial so boring that he is resorting to desperate measures to liven things up and get himself noticed again. His latest tactics involve taking the mickey out of the proceedings, singing comic songs when he gets really bored and bringing the trial crashing to a halt with inflammatory speeches calling on his loyal supporters to rise up and toss the invaders out of Iraq.
The Man Who Stole Your Pension
The labour government, which caused the pension crisis with its Stealth Taxes, had the cheek to hold a National Pensions Day this month to ask carefully selected stooges what to do about its mess.
Stockport council's spendthrift ruling Trivial Democrats have decided to shove up the rate of C-Tax by 4.99% over double the 2% rate of inflation and just below the 5% limit for capping. The national average rise is 4.7% across all bands and 4.5% for Band D properties. The annual tax on a Band D property in Romiley will now shoot up to £1,313.83. The national average is £1,268.
This winter a dead loss
Romiley Alpine Club is thinking of giving up for this year. We've had so little decent snow that their sledges, skis, etc. have received very little exercise this season. In fact, the club is thinking of amalgamating with Romiley Boating Club just to have something to do.
Reddish Lloyds TSB branch awaits the bailiffs!
There is a strong suspicion that the initial police response to the £53 million robbery of highly recyclable banknotes from the Securitas collection centre in Kent was fairly cosmetic in nature. 'Experts' are saying that they rushed out and arrested people more or less at random for the sake of having something to put in a press release. The big giveaway was the way these immediate suspects were released on police bail after a token period of detention.
What are they on!!??
Police discrimination is officially okay
A burglars' & muggers' paradise
Too many wheels
Own A Great Work of Art! Second Offer!
The owner of one of the most distinctive voices on radio and TV comedy shows has died at 48. Linda Smith's talent for amplifying a small absurdity into a flight of fancy, and her inventive wit, graced such must-listen-to shows as The News Quiz, Just A Minute and I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue. She made her breakthrough into the mainstream of radio and TV about a decade ago and she was voted the 'Wittiest Living Person' by Radio 4 listeners in 2002. She will be greatly missed.
The star of the 1970s TV series McCloud, which is still re-running on ITV 3 on Saturday evenings, has died at 81. His TV career began as a supporting actor in the Western series Gunsmoke (1955-64), for which he receive an Emmy award. His movie career included a part in the Henry Fonda classic Twelve Angry Men (1955) and he starred in Steven Spielberg's 1971 TV movie Duel. Off-screen, Dennis Weaver was heavily into Green politics and he built his own solar-powered home in Colorado from scrap vehicle tyres and aluminium cans.
One of football's stars of the 1960s and 70s has died at 59. A goal in every round was his contribution to Chelsea's first ever FA Cup win in 1970, and his side went on to take the European Cup Winners' Cup against Real Madrid in another replayed final the following year. After falling out with the Chelsea management, Peter Osgood was sold to Southampton and he won another Cup-winner's medal with them in 1976. Always a rebellious character, Peter Osgood didn't get on with Sir Alf Ramsay and played only 4 times for his country.
A one-of-his-kind master of off-beat comedy and songs has died at 83. His wildly eccentric tales of dour Scottish life, his fantastical myths, his imaginative songs and his distinctive poetry earned him a massive following, which drew in new disciples from each successive generation over 4 decades of performances. Ned Sherrin put his strange folk music on TV, Paul McCartney recruited him to the Beatles film Magical Mystery Tour (1967) and George Martin produced his album Ludo (1967), which was re-released in 1998. A master of epigrams in a range of languages, he was a regular feature on the John Peel Show and his poetry was featured in a Faber collection of (serious) Scottish verse.
This prolific scriptwriter and radio and TV performer has died at 76. During his long career, John Junkin worked with the likes of Morecambe & Wise, Ronnie Barker, Spike Milligan, Marty Feldman and the Goodies, and he had a meaty part in the Beatles film A Hard Day's Night. He presented his own TV show on ITV for 4 years and his radio credits included the long-running show Hello, Cheeky! with Tim Brooke-Taylor and Barry Cryer. One of his notable claims to fame is appearing in 30 different TV shows over a 2 month period.
A politician who was obliged to resign for lying to the House of Commons something which seems incomprehensible in these days of wall-to-wall new labour sleaze has died at 91. His involvement with a prostitute called Christine Keeler became the major political scandal of the latter half of the 20th Century, and the subject of a film, because he was Minister for War at the time, she was also servicing a Russian agent, and East and West were deep into the Cold War. Mr. Profumo devoted the next 40 years to good works to redeem himself, something else totally alien to members of the present government.
A man who gave genocide a bad name has croaked in prison at 64. His ambition was to create a Greater Serbia when Yugoslavia fell apart. His tactic was to portray Serbs in other Yugo-splinters as victims as justification for an invasion. He then tried to make Serbs the majority population by 'ethnic cleansing', a.k.a. genocide.
The stray cat who adopted 10, Downing Street as his address has died at 17. He arrived at the prime minister's official residence in 1990 but he was relocated to reduced circumstances in 1997 when new labour took over, evicted on the whim of the missus of the new tenant, a.k.a. the Wicked Witch of the West.
The Ministry of Defence has removed the British fleet's fighter air cover after 29 years' service. The Sea Harrier was supposed to remain in service for a further 6 years and be replaced by the US Joint Strike Fighter. Unfortunately, the projects to build this fighter and the 2 new aircraft carriers which will house it are hopelessly behind schedule and the MoD has decided to scrap the Sea Harrier to same some money. [Which will be spent on buying America air cover, spit the bones out of that! Ed.]
A Polish science fiction author, who sold more than 27 million books in 40 languages, has died at 84. His novel Solaris (1961) was made into a slow-paced movie (seen as a cult classic by many SF fans) by the Soviet director Andrei Tarkovsky in 1971. The inevitable remake (2002) failed to make the same impact. Stanislaw Lem's birthplace is now in Ukraine. He studied medicine before the war and he began writing science fiction because the Communist regime in Poland thought the genre fairly harmless. After the collapse of Communism, he branched out into futurology, specializing in computer crime and ethics as applied to the Internet.
More mortgage sleaze for new labour
The cabinet secretary has been given the job of filing rough edges off the latest new labour image-buster and giving Mrs. Mills-jowell a bill of health clean enough to satisfy our temporary prime minister.
Note : Anyone looking for factual information on what the Mills-jowells have been up to is advised to avoid the blair broadcasting corporation. The BBC has either been omitting this latest new labour scandal from its 'news' bulletins or pouring on the old whitewash with a will and trying to make out it's all a witch hunt scared up by the meeja and the Mills-jowells are as pure as our revered P.M.
Her latest spot of bother : Mrs. Mills-jowell has been using her senior civil servants to phone journalists to shower spin upon them on her husband's behalf, which is illegal under the much abused code for government ministers. She has a history of doing this; like the shamed & sacked, sometime Home Sec. dave blunk; but nothing is ever done about it.
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
As a public service, Jenson Farrago is offering access to his collection of bogus lottery, phishing and other email spam.
A with-profits pension plan involving saving £200 per month for 20 years would have yielded a guarantee income for life of £22,706 in 1996. In 2006, the income from the same plan is a mere £4,964 thanks to new labour's stewardship of the economy.
Lies, damned lies, and Office for National Statistics propaganda
Blackpool seeks a place on the world stage
Whale savers saved from fines
Great Mysteries of the 21st Century
Congrats to Oor Wullie & The Broons for reaching their 70th birthday in the Sunday Post, Scotland's favourite newspaper.
Someone's telling porkies!
Easy money? Well, maybe . . .
Best of the best
Worst of the worst
More adverts than programmes
Fat bottom problem
Best bumper sticker of the month :
new labour goes into radio scriptwriting
Isn't it strange . . .
If you get a terrible meal in a Chinese restaurant . . .
It must be true,
Readers of the first Sunday Post of the month will have discovered that a winning EuroMillions lottery ticket can be redeemed only in the country in which it was bought. So tourists who find that they have a winning ticket after they return home, but who can't return to the country of purchase before it expires, are being cheated out of millions.
Frustrated labour donors seek redress
loans to labour? The mystery solved
It's all about the money . . .
Germans are dumping their cats by the thousand after one of them was found dead and loaded with the bird flu virus. In fact, they're getting into such a panic over there that some are talking about cancelling this summer's World Cup finals! Nice to know the Germans are as daft as anyone else.
Another conspiracy exposed
Not really Value For Money
Kenya cracks down on dissent
Petrol for nothing?
World Cup ticket scandal. (What, another one?)
No more kite flying
Mucho congrats . .
Canadian population bulge
Berlusconi due an apology for being right (sort of).
1. A VCR is ready to start recording when you switch it on and put a tape in it. A DVDR has to spend 2 minutes formatting the disk.
Source: Technobile by Mike Whitley, The Guardian, Thursday, 2006/02/23.
|Created for Romiley Anarchists' League by workers in revolt against oppression.|
Sole © RAL, March 2006. Free web counters are available from www.digits.com