Our local Triv-Dems have been attending new labour's masterclasses in the art of shedding blame. Their literature for next month's elections blames the government for the shoddy attempt by Stockport's Triv-Dem controlled council to close Romiley's primary school, and it even takes a pop at the last Tory government, which was shuffled out of office 9 years ago.
Invasion of the crinklies
gordie broon, chancellor & PM-in-waiting, thought there might be some votes in giving free off-peak travel to people of 60 and over right away, and free anytime travel from 2008. The only snag is that he failed to cough up the money to pay for the scheme in this year's budget.
The health sec. is booed off the stage for offering spin and labour lies instead of solutions to the NHS crisis, the home sec. is exposed as an idle incompetent, who sat on his hands for 10 months after his department found out that it hadn't been deporting foreign murderers, rapists, paedophiles and thieves for 7 years, it had been letting them disappear into the British underground instead. What do you do about that?
A scoundrel's last resort
BNP set to sweep polls in May
labour party in cash crisis
The labour party would like the present temporary prime minister's missus to replay the £7.7 million she charged it for hairdressing during the 3-week general election campaign in 2005.
The French government has chickened out of trying to ban smoking in public buildings. They can't face more riots.
It has been revealed that new labour had its shredders on overtime in the run-up to last year's general election. Looks like someone ordered a ruthless purge of compromising material just in case, by some miracle, they lost.
Who do you think you're kidding, Triv-Dems?
Suddenly relevant book of the Month:
Allah's Thunder by Henry T. Smith
Iran posed a serious threat to the world order at a time when the USA and post-communist Russia sought a new world balance of power. Iranian-backed terrorists believed that they had a divine right to kidnap and kill US citizens. An old Russian submarine crashed in the Arabian Gulf. An Americans salvage operation recovered its nuclear warheads and options for revenge became available.
Vintage : Late 1980s / Category: Alternate history.
The man who taught Rolling Stones Mick Jagger & Keith Richards the basics of song-writing has died, almost on the job, at 65. 1960s star Gene Pitney kept his career going right up to his premature death, and he was on tour in Britain when his personal clock ran out. He will be remembered as the guy who was 24 Hours From Tulsa, but Gene Pitney was a singer/song-writer with a sound business sense, which made sure that he enjoyed a good income from publishing royalties when his performing career went out of fashion temporarily.
The man who won himself a place in the Guinness Book of Records for holding office for 5 years in a country renown for electing a new government at least once a year, is on his way out, kicking and struggling, at the time of writing. As his rival had a winning margin of just 25,000 votes, Berlusconi was demanding a recount, an investigation of vote-rigging incidents, and reclassification of the 45,000 ballots written off as spoilt. He looks certain to be replaced by Romano Prodi, who spent his term as head of the European Commission not doing anything about reforming this terminally corrupt institution. His coalition is expected to last just a month or two before it crumbles.
The 2nd weekend of the month opened with consecutive nights of violent thunderstorms with brilliant lightning over Romiley. Then we had rain degenerating into hail and sleety snow, none of which stuck around, and the twin 'boating lakes' in our mini-park froze over.
Blue Sky Days in Peking in 2008
Global warming is a scam!
As citizens of the European Union, you are entitled to use a Citizen of Europe official passport in any part of the world, to receive a Citizen of Europe official driving license after passing an appropriate test, and to obtain a Citizen of Europe identity card, which can be used to claim employment and social security benefits, etc., in any member country of the European Union.
THESE DOCUMENTS MUST BE ISSUED IN ALL MEMBER STATES. Your own government will soon be forced to offer EU alternatives to UK passports, driving licences and the UK ID card when it becomes compulsory in 2008. BUT IT WILL CHARGE THE SAME PRICE FOR THESE EU DOCUMENTS AS FOR THE CORRESPONDING UK DOCUMENT!
IDENTITÉ de FRANCE has established a documentation center in Calais which can offer these documents AT 33% LESS THAN THE BRITISH PRICE! So come on, you Britishers. Don't be ripped off by your greedy government. Come to IDENTITÉ de FRANCE for the EU equivalents AND SAVE SOME MONEY!
Launched into space the early hours of 2005/11/09 on a Russian Soyuz rocket, the European Space Agency's Venus Express spacecraft has entered orbit around the clouded planet. Its instruments include leftovers from the highly successful Mars Express, which entered orbit around the Red Planet on Xmas Day 2003 after releasing the ill-fated Beagle II probe. The primary mission of Venus Express is to study the Venerian atmosphere, which is a product of a runaway greenhouse effect, but it will also be looking for volcanoes and other interesting features on the surface.
Xena's size confirmed by HST
BlackFlag News would like to offer its readers yet another literary adventure in the form of Romiley Literary Circle's Story of the month.
When The Change-Winds Blow by Eric Custodian
Sword play, magic, deadly sibling rivalry, invasion, a grand battle, treachery, betrayal -- all the classic elements of a good old legend are present in this novella by Eric Custodian.
Category : Heroic Fantasy
As you sit at your computer reading this, you could be on the way to SORE EYES and a STIFF NECK.
Can, should, could, might
Hosepipe bans and other water restrictions are being imposed on the southern half of England but the nation's police forces are being encouraged to put water cannon vehicles on their shopping lists for this year. When challenged about the wisdom of deploying these crowd-control measures at a time of severe water shortage, a Home Office spokesman indicated that, "alternative operating fluids are under consideration".
Attention all criminals!
Not much 'service' from the police service
How to avoid speeding fines register your car at a 'mass-mailing' address so that speeding tickets go to an accommodation address and the police can't track you down at your actual address.
"Bung me or you're nicked, mate."
"We read you loud and clear!"
Ikea in Giltbrook, Notts, has put an end to crime in their car park by hiring a team of ex-Gurkhas as security guards.
home sec. charlie what's-his-face is believed to be considering following in the footsteps of the Chinese regime, which is killing criminals to order to allow their organs to be sold for transplantation. A similar scheme here could ease the prison over-crowding problems caused by new labour's failure to build more gaols. It could also be used to generate some cash to hand to new labour's supporters or even cash to be used for state funding of political parties, something which our attorney general and the present temporary prime minister's former flatmate, lord forkbender, is reported to be 'eager to embrace'.
The De Montfort University, Leicester has been caught cheating at its exams. It added up to 14% to the scores of a class of first-year pharmacy students to avoid the humiliation of having to fail over half of them. The information emerged under the Freedom of Information Act only after a court battle with the Times Literary Supplement as the university tried to keep its dodgy doings quiet.
The Ministry of Defence has found that young criminals who have done gaol time are better recruits for the armed services than the average, undisciplined couch-potato teenager.
The home office has released 1,000 foreign prisoners 'into the community' instead of deporting them. The Scotland Yard team investigating peerages for loans is splitting off a unit to investigate allegations that the prisoners won their liberty by bunging the labour party in secret.
Full steam ahead all the time!
It's official our current temporary prime minister was lying when he said invading Iraq in 2003 made us safer. A leaked memo from the Joint Intelligence Committee, which knocked out the infamous Dodgy Dossiers under John Scarlett's dodgy leadership, says that war will leave the British people at risk "for many years to come". And another leak from the Home Office has confirmed that the above war was one of the excuses for the suicide bomb attacks, and attempts, last July.
The Ministry of Defence is trying to frighten the widows of servicemen killed in Iraq as a result of the Bush/blair illegal war out of taking the government to court for negligence. The widows are being warned that if they do get compensation for a husband killed as a result of a lack of body armour, or other MoD penny-pinching or incompetence, their pension will be slashed by a corresponding amount.
An RAF doctor was sentenced to death for treason after his conviction at a court martial for failing to obey an illegal order to join in the illegal war in Iraq. Luckily, his life was saved when the firing squad refused to obey an illegal order to shoot him.
The authors of a load of tosh published 20 years ago have blown a huge wad of cash on trying to suggest that the author of the Da Vinci Code, a contemporary load of tosh, stole their big idea. They chose to sue their joint publisher, Random House, rather than the rival author. And in the end, the court blew a huge raspberry in their direction.
The best way to annoy your neighbours . . .
A bloke in Glasgow has analyzed the voting in the Eurovision Song Contest and found there's a lot of cheating and collusion going on. Greece & Cyprus vote for each other and give 'nul points' to Britain. Ireland, Holland, Malta and Croatia is another voting alliance which gave Ireland wins in 1992, 1993 and 1994; to the dismay of the Irish TV authorities, who had to stage the wildly expensive event 3 years on the trot. Britain has kept its hands clean for over 25 years, which comes as something of a surprise, given the generally grubby nature of our government over the last 9 years.
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
As a public service, Jenson Farrago is offering access to his collection of bogus lottery, phishing and other email spam.
Anyone looking at the Scottish Parliament building just knows it's a crap design, despite all the lavish praise heaped on the designers. This point has been driven home by the recent revelation that large areas of most of the windows in the glazed corridors can't be cleaned. Staff can't get near them because of large beams parked in front of them!
Forget Polish plumbers we'll be inundated by Bulgarians and Romanians (the guys responsible for most cash machine robberies) next year as the European Union is planning to let these further pauper nations enjoy the hospitality of the British taxpayer from 2007/01/01.
Attention trouble-makers in the South of England!
Fallowfield Library in Manchester has had to hire a team of bouncers after local yobs began attacking the building with stones and eggs, and broke more than 50 windows. "A peaceful atmosphere has been restored," a council spokesman reported when the bouncers had been deployed.
Quickie Degrees For All
0870 rip-off to be stopped eventually
The latest hobby of yobs in Bristol is scattering bird food in bus lanes in the hope of seeing seagulls and pigeons run over and splatted.
blair Broadcasting Company turns blind eye
Spit the bones out of that!
The Man Who Stole Your Pension
The man who is taking £7.3 billion per year out of private pensions can look forward to a personal pension of £100K per year adjusted upward for inflation when he finally leaves us in peace. To get the same pension in the private sector, he'd need a pension pot of £3 million, which would be taxed at 55%.
On April first, the cost of checkup by an NHS dentist went up from £5.54 to £15.50, which is three times more. The cost of a filling went up fourfold to £42.40 and the price of a gold crown doubled to £189.
"Your chequebook is no good, madam!"
Another happy-time for lawyers
It's all about the money II
Banks & building societies running Stealth Charge scam
"No, not for the money, no way!"
The sneaky sods in the Europe Union are trying to bring back their constitution by the back door, despite ringing rejections by French and Dutch voters. And who's standing on the sidelines cheering them on? None other than the prince of sleaze Peter Mandelson, who seems to be finding the 'demands' of his overpaid post as trade commissioner under-occupying his time.
Global Warming scams exposed
Massive telecom scams exposed
"Sorry, our call centre cannot take your call."
Australia's environment minister is being showered with derision over his decision to ban a 52-turbine wind farm on the grounds that it might just kill one of the region's rare orange-bellied parrots per year.
The Swedish equal opportunities ombudswoman wants her national team to drop out of this year's World Cup finals as a protest against the vast number of Swedish prostitutes heading to Germany for a working vacation.
Residents of San Francisco are scaring themselves as they remember that the earthquake, which caused the fire the destroyed the city 100 years ago this month, WILL BE REPEATED!!!
Gazprom, the gas supplier controlled by the Russian government is threatening to cut off the supply to Western Europe if it is not allowed to buy Centrica, the parent company of British Gas.
Sick Building Syndrome has been dismissed as rubbish by scientific studies, so it seems fitting that there are people making money out of 'curing' it with acupuncture. The 'expert' checks out the allegedly sick building with a dowsing pendulum or a special meter which reads the building's 'aura', then he/she drives 18-inch spikes into the ground around the building to sort out its problems!
The disastrous head of the Metropolitan Police, sir ian blair (no relation) has come up with another brilliant idea. He'd going to question all of his coppers to find out how many homosexualists he has on the payroll. And if the figure is less than 12½%, he's going to target them for recruitment along with ethnic minorities, the disabled, the elderly, the sick and any other minorities he can think of.
"What's wrong with me, Doctor?"
Illegals on the rampage
"We regret this flight has been postponed . . ."
Warning, booze might be bad for you!
Unlikely bosom buddies
How's this for a Euro-swindle!
Art, not terrorism! Honest!
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