The Ministry of Justice is setting up an A.I. system to monitor dangerous criminals with the object of detecting when they are likely to do something really nasty. The Friends of Dangerous Criminals are outraged.
“Why not just bump the bastards off quietly to the benefit of the nation?” D. Mented

Q: Is Amazon boss J.B. Zos sending 6 female space tourists to the edge of space in a Blue Horizon capsule then landing them in Texas a great leap forward for personkind?
A: Nah, it's just a dear trick (as opposed to a cheap one) and a publicity stunt for the tourists, who will now claim to be astronauts.
“An 11-minute sub-orbital flight? Big effin deal. Deferably putting the 'ass' into astronaut.” Con Tiguous

The government is trying to blame a slump in the housing market on the Trump tariffs rather than the Thievin Slump due by her stamp duty grab, which is the actual cause.

Q: What's a good way to destroy 5 police cars?
A: Try to box in a speeding BMW to stop it on the A1 in the middle of the night.

Ukraine has its own version of Lt.-Colonel D. Stirling's SAS-prototype causing trouble inside Putinstan. They sneak in, get close to a target and report the success of strikes on it, then sneak back home.

How to lie with a picture
1. Show an image of the cooling towers @ the Drax power station.
2. Include the word ‘smoke' in the caption.
3. Keep quiet about the clouds billowing above the cooling towers being a mixture of steam and water vapour, not a product of combustion.
“None of which alters the fact that Drax is the most grievous green scam in the world & Edstone Milipede is to blame for it.” Watt D. Farook

It’s only taxpayers’ dosh
HM Inspectorate for Prisons in Scotland is demanding that the taxpayer coughs up for wigs & underwear for male prisoners who are claiming to be female.
   Sounds like some sackings in the ranks of the IP for S are long overdue.

Something for real women to cheer
The High Court has ruled that being a woman is a matter of biology, not the whim of the moment.
   Which puts the transpicaters & their virtue-flagging cheerleaders in the same box as the likes of Flat Earthers. And leaves obstructive politicians without a licence to be perverse.

The fantasist Virginia Guff was spotted swanning around on the outskirts of Perth, Australia, 8 days after she claimed she had been given four days to live after being in a minor shunt, which just broke a tail light of her vehicle.

WEEK 3    Today’s crisis is nowt next to what tomorow has in store

The guess for the amount of rubbish piled up on the streets of Rat City, a.k.a. Birmingham, is now 21,000 tons. Whether this includes a guess for the rat component has not been disclosed.
The Labour council of Rat City has dug a £350 MILLION Brown Hole in the accounts.
The strike is now being described as vexatious as only 17 bin staff are involved in the proposed reduction in recycling. The Unite union is claiming 150 binpersons are involved.
In-fighting within the union & interference by its national leadership are getting in the way of a local settlement.

All talk Noos
President XL, who was going to end the Putinstani assault on Ukraine in a matter of days, is having no luck with getting his mate Putin the Poisoner to look even vaguely interested in a cease-fire as a start to a settlement.
Another current persistent delusion is that the UK government is days away from a trade deal with the USA. All talk, no action, that's Smarmer's Army.

Even more government insanity
As a result of Edstone Milipede being allowed to ban a new coking coal mine in the UK as a virtue-flagging Xercise, Britisch Steel is having to import the stuff from JAPAN to keep the steelworks @ Scunthorpe going. At a cost of £7.2 million.
   And the dithering about the future of the works goes on and on and bloody on.

The Hamas are using a UK law firm to claim that they have a ‘uman bluddy right not to be called terrorists, even if that's what they are.

Self-created unemployables
Employers are advised to give GenZ (18 to 28-year-olds) a miss as they have to look @ their pocket phone about every 2 minutes, which makes them unable to concentrate on a job of work.

“Bier Smarmer shouldn't be ordering Edstone Milipede to swallow his pride & reverse his Nett Zero lunacy. If he had any gutz, Smarmer would sack the useless nutter and get someone in his/her right mind in the energy minister job. But we are talking about Uncle Bier . . .” Omit Scobie

There are E Streggs and there are Large E Streggs! They just don't come any bigger! All sizes & types in stock at affordable prices! Grab 'em while you can! Romiley Delicacies, 221c Riverside Drive

Anyone who decides to drive somewhere @ the Easter weekend will have to be a bit of a nutter as the Xperts are predicting that the nation's roads will be packed with an Xtra 15% of bank holiday traffic.
Motoring organizations are Xpecting a busy time fixing breakdowns of inadequately prepared vehicles.

The latest silly story
An Iranian, appropriately known as BS, has escaped deportation for the umpteenth time in 9 years by persuading a judge that the stuff he puts on FakeBuk will make the Iranian authorities really eager to lock him up & torture him.
   Wot next?

President XL has been forced to Xclude pocket phones and computers from his tariff fest to avoid an uprising of outraged Americans!

Stand by to PANIC!!
Something else to panic about! If you don't take your shoes off at the front door, a gang of experts reckons, you track millions of particles containing stuff like pesticides into your home.
   Combinations of these pesticides cause cancers and all sort of other nasty stuff. As a result, you're doomed.
   Worse, cats and dogs also bring in particles, which means that their shoes need to be removed at the door and they need to be shampoo'd before admission.

First-class post is heading for ‘when it gets there' status, like second-class post, and it will cost even more than the current base of £1.70 if the Czech Vampire is allowed to pile billions of pounds of debt on to the Royal Mail by buying it with borrowed cash.

Looking the wrong way
The Bank of England is claiming that the Trump Slump tariff antics could put the UK's financial stability at risk. But is it likely that Trump will do anything that's more than minor compared to the trashing that Thievin Reeves & the rest of Smarmer's Army have already inflicted on our economy?
   Especially if Thievin & Smarmer are cosying up to the EFU for a trade deal which will really clobber us as revenge for Brexit.

Q: Our government sez ‘we will coolly & calmly negotiate'. Translation?
A: We will sit on our hands and look helpless, as usual.

Useless & Missing In Action, the voters say
The Labour MP for parts of Birmingham is so concerned about the rubbish crisis that he chose to Xtend a Parliamentary jolly in Japan last week with a personal holiday to coincide with the Commons' Easter recess, which runs until Tuesday of next week.
This is the same L. Byrne who left the note in the Treasury after the eviction of the Gordon F. Broon regime in 2010 warning that there was no money left.
“Angular Raygun brings in the Army? What BS.The government should be rounding up gangs of illegal immigrants and getting them to load the Birmingham garbage into lorries to be moved to nearby tips.” Andy Arkensaw

Prince Hairy's lawyer is trying to convince a court that his life is at stake if he doesn't get a taxpayer-funded private army to surround him when he visits the UK.
   To which the obvious response is that if he doesn't come here, he'll be okay, and if he chooses to put his life in danger deliberately, that's his lookout.

WEEK 1    Trump does tariffs, Smarmer sits on his hands

 
The Worst April Fool of all time
Iran is going to attack the UK/US base on the Chagos island Diego Garcia to prevent Bier Smarmer from giving it away.

Less for more
Despite a big jump in Council Tax, our wonderful council (Stockport) is abandoning collections of garden waste unless the mug coughs up £59, which will probably be spent on diversity crap and other things of Nett Zero value to the average resident. Wunderbar.
   Water, gas, electricity, essentials of everyday life, just about everything you can think of is also going up this month in response to Thievin's disastrous Budget, Edstone Milipede & grabbing by the rest of Smarmer's Army.
   See what you get when you let only 20% of the electorate give you a government? Dopes, the lot of you.

Bier Smarmer claims he's working hard on a trade deal with the US before Pres. XL slaps tariffs on everything in sight. And Bier is working hard with the industries that will be affected. Which tells us that the cliché mill is all that's working hard to produce hot air & nothing useful will be on offer.

Science marches on!
Chemical tinkerers in Germany have come up with a way of creating fois gras without animal cruelty. Instead of force-feeding ducks or geese until their liver Xplodes, the animals are terminated humanely and the livers are treated with enzymes to create something that resembles fois gras in texture & smell.

Go woke, go broke
Sussex University has been fined a record £585,000 for joining in a student campaign against a professor who tried to defend the concept of women-only spaces against the transpicater lobby and was cancelled.
Universities are Xpected to be hit with more fines for endorsing attacks on free speech.
The Sussex fine could have been over three million quid (!!) but the university was let off lightly for being the first offender to be done over.
The uni, meanwhile, is absolutely outraged by what is sees as an attack on what speech it wants to be free and what speech it wants banned. It's the old Two-Bier Justice system misapplied in yet another way.

India is chuffed @ having produced a billion tons of coal for its power stations for the first time ever and the management feels that the nation is on course to become a global energy leader.

Eyes off the ball
The Chancellor is getting a booting for letting the Office of Budget Responsibility approve everything she does. Mainly because she hasn't been paying attention & she hasn't spotted that the OBR has a long history of getting its guesses horribly wrong.
   Last October, after the Budget, the OBR was guessing that economic growth would be 2% this year. A guess which is now down to 1%. Or 0.7%, according to the Bank of England.

On a visit there, VPOTUS Judy Vance accuses Putinstan & China of trying to steal Greenland before Pres. XL can get his mitts on it. Every day, something dafter.

The wheels are coming off the Angrier Robot plan to carpet the Green Belt with new houses for illegal immigrants. Not enuff bodies in the construction industry ain't helping and neither is Thievin's tax assault on businesses.

More KerKlunk
The OBR reckons that Angular Robot's Shirker's Rights Charter will damage the economy to an incalculable degree. There is insufficient data available to predict the full impact. Okay, but why isn't the OBR offering a vague guess? Or is the mockery starting to get through?
"An employment Bill that does the opposite of what is says on the tin," according to the Conservative business spokes.

Thievin Reeves has been voted the most dishonest minister of all time. And by a considerable margin over everyone in the New Labour government.

The Office for Notional Sadistics got the number of transpicaters in England & Wales so badly wrong that this piece of 2021 census data is having to be discarded.
   People who didn't have English as their first language gave all sorts of unreliable answers and outright guesses as they didn't understand the questions.
The ONS & other government bodies are heavily infiltrated by far-Left wonks, who falsify data by conflating actual sex & gender of the day. It is entirely down to them that these dodgy numbers have not been discarded sooner.

Q: If you work for Harrods, how do you get away with stealing handbags worth £15,000?
A: Tell the judge that life in London is expensive and there's a good chance you won't go to gaol.

Thievin Economics
The price of chocolate has gone up by 16.5% this year and this is being used as an Xcuse for some retailers to boost the price of their Easter eggs by 50% or even more.

Labour will cost the nation £600 BILLION in debt interest over the next half-decade. Freebie Reeves has turned growth into Noth. Or shrinkth.

Esso petrol 135.9p/litre in Romiley.
Esso diesel 141.9p/litre.
Petrol retailers are being accused of ripping off their customers by taking a double profit margin compared to 2015-2019.

Smarmer & Trump hold crunch talks. About what? Rice crispies? Toffee crisp? Potato crisps? We should be told.

“Whoever it was who got a toddler chucked out of a nursery school for being ‘transphobic' should be dropped down a deep, dark hole and banned from the education industry for life.” Fedor Ahat

The Equality Tsar is blaming the far-Left theGrauniad mentality for triggering the riots following the Southport murders by pursuing a relentless anti-white agenda. There are also the imaginary far-Right conspiracies to be taken into account.

The deindustrializers
Trump tariffs & Edstone Milipede Nett Zero green taxes will close down the British steel industry and all new steel will have to be imported from abroad. That's what fate has in store in June or September unless someone boots Bier Smarmer up the bum and forces him to keep his promise to save the plant @ Scunthorpe.
   Which is not looking like a good bet, going from Smarmer's record in office.
Edstone Milipede's contributions to deindustrialization include passing business to China. Steel is unprofitable due to high energy costs, which are boosted by Milipede's spurious green taxes. No such problems in China.

For once, the Opposition has got it wrong. The government hasn't lost its grip on illegal immigration, it never had one.
A French court has awarded France's most popular politician, Marine Le Pen, political martyr status via a really OTT sentence over financial shenannygoats. An appeal and lotz of riots are Xpected.
The government has been forced to get off its arse & legislate to prevent the Sentencing Council from imposing anti-white Two-Bier justice. Sacking the SC is obviously too good an idea for Smarmer's Army to grasp.

Well off target
Thievin Reeves is getting a good booting for taking cash away from carers, who do an essential job cheaply, rather than grabbing from the skivers who choose not to work. Further evidence that she just don't get it.

Great idea! Stick water company bosses in gaol if they fail to stop polluting rivers, lakes & the sea with raw sewage.

Yawn
Sugar Ray, the Boris back-stabber & Smarmer crony, has done a maiden speech in the House of Frauds. She doesn't want people to have the freedom to write about the various Blobs & ‘pen-pushers' because that upsets those in the snivel service with these tendencies. Like anyone in the real world cares.

The Indian government reckons it is on track for a severely unbalanced population in 2050. 440 million Indians will be o'bese from eating junk foods and 800 million will be collecting state charity & subsisting on a handful of rice a day.

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Scores more, if not hundreds
That toddler who was booted out of a nursery because some crazy adult thought the kid is transphobic is by no means an isolated case.
   A survey has found that there are lotz of crazy adults about, who claim that everyone should believe that a boy in a frock is a girl. In the interests of social sanity, they should all be rounded up & parked in re-education camps somewhere remote until they gain contact with reality.
“Next thing you know, there will be police farces sending half a dozen coppers round to bust the kids concerned for an imaginary hate crime.” Purpurs Fully
“Let us make sure the crazies are parked somewhere with lotz of really fierce midges.” Gunn F'hire

The London Museum in Dockland is now a place to avoid. The wonks running it have substituted a continual anti-whiteness agenda for offering an accurate historical record. Everything but everything is the fault of those with a white skin.

Edstone Milipede has had a good booting from the Public Accounts Committee. He's failing to tackle soaring energy prices by not delivering on his promise to rebalance the prices of electricity & gas, and he is failing to deliver energy security when only occasional sources of power; wind & solar; are available.
Freebie Reeves is getting a booting from the Office for Notional Sadistics by taking over an economy that was growing at a gangbusters rate in the first half of 2024 and bringing it to a dead stop, something which she seems to be amazingly smug about.

Greenland is in the same situation as Scotland, as far as independence is concerned. Just as the Scots can't Xist without huge subsidies from England, Greenland is reliant on the funding it gets from Denmark.

Who or what is writing America's script now? And increasingly popular theory is that it's a what—an A.I., which has been loaded with the George Orwell novel 1984.
   Hence all the lies offered as official truth & vice versa. And the fantasies presented as realities.

Donald Slump
Stock markets everywhere are nose-diving after the tariff fest.

Putin the poisoner is claiming he's going to finish off Ukraine. And the UK is next!! What do we have in the way of natural resources that's worth grabbing?

Bier—playing it cool or just clueless?
Pres. XL announces 55% tariff on UK luxury items knowing that Bier Smarmer is too soggy to respond in kind.
   Far-Left attempts to stifle free speech & the anti-white bias of the judiciary and police farces are not helping to give good old XL a good opinion of us.

Clash of priorities
The train drivers' union, appropriately named ASLEEP, has no problem with calling a strike after a driver with a history of falling asleep at the controls of a 125 mph train was sacked. Looks like this is a public safety ishue which the union finds irrelevant.
   The union called an 8-week strike, starting this week, of the Hull to London service. Just 20% of the trains have been cancelled as lotz of the union's members are sensible bods who are ignoring the strike call.

Bier Smarmer is still gaslighting the nation by claiming he's giving millions of people a pay rise.
   It is now clear, if there was ever any doubt, that when he has his gob open, he's lying.

The MP for Birmingham, now rat & rubbish city, is getting a booting for agitating for the construction of a new international airport in Pakistan instead of doing anything about the chaos in his constituency.
“How strange that Xpanding Heathrow airport will totally wreck the global climate, according to Labour MPs, but building airports in Pakistan won't.” B. Lashkol

Just get on with it
Bier Smarmer claims he gets it over boat people. But he's all talk. What he needs to do is pass an emergency law stating that everyone who arrives here by boat; from dinghy to luxury yacht; is responsible for paying their own way & not eligible for cash from the Britisch taxpayer.

Pres. XL is getting highly pissed off with Putin the Poisoner, who is dragging his feet over a deal to stitch up Ukraine. All XL seems to have on offer is even more tariffs on Putinstan.
   He's also threatening to thump Ukraine unless President Zelenskiy gives the Untied States unlimited access to its rare minerals with no attached concrete security protocols. No danger that he'll ever play nice, then?

Apple blossom is showering all over the place in Romiley when the wind blows.

Maximum pay-out of taxpayers’s cash
Freebie Reeves has hired, @ the taxpayer's Xpense, the 4 most Xpensive KCs she could find. Each was educated privately and they will be used to squash parents who send their kids to a private school if they dare to challenge Thievin's VAT raid.

He’s at it again
1. Bier Smarmer promises to tackle the pothole plague.
2. The funding on offer is 5% less than last year's allocation.
3. Another Labour swindle.

More ‘Labour Hates Britain’
Another of Edstone Milipede's scams is closing down the fishing industry by making fishing boat all-electric by law. The weight of the batteries needed will put all small fishing boats out of business right away.
   How is this going to affect the global climate? It won't. Milipede is an idiot.
“No fishing industry? Bier Smarmer can let the French hoover away to their heart's content in our coastal waters after another of his betrayals.” Walkon D. Wildside

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Another Smarmer lie—the Tories left interest rates @ 11%. Not before the last general election. They were last that high in 1991 but that didn't give Labour a win in the 1992 election.
   Is there any lie that Bier won't tell? Or is he just too lazy to check the 'facts' that his minions hand him?

The government's anti-Semitism advisor, Lord Mann, has the hump with the boss of the BierBC, T. Davey, who keeps 'arrogantly' refusing to take training on the ishue. Davey's version is that the Beeb gets its training from other sources, so there!

Today’s Question:
Smug Bugger—who's that? It used to be tony b. liar but the title has now been taken over by Freebie Reeves.

Still working hard to promote negative growth
The hospitality industry, worth £93 billion per year, has been lumbered with £3.4 billion in Xtra taxes from this month courtesy of Freebie Reeves, who has reduced confidence levels to those Xperienced during the depths of the Chinese plague pandemic.

The Daily Mail April Fool
A gaggle of skivers want to make not choosing to move on to British Summer Tiemn a 'uman bluddy right so they can turn up for work an hour late. Some even want to choose which time zone from around the world that they observe.
   The above works because it sounds no dafter than people choosing which of 100+ genders they're going to be on a given day.

Working Xceptionally hard to create social injustice via Two-Bier justice
According to the police Anti-Rachelism Commitment, it is not rachelist to give preferential treatment to criminals who are not white.
   Worse, the National Police Chiefs' Council wants undeserved leniency for black criminals so that their arrest & charging statistics match Xactly those of white crims.

If a politician tells us he/she isn't going to do a knee-jerk reaction, it's just virtue flagging. Because that's their natural reaction and they're usually totally shameless about it.

Israel is threatening to add most of Gaza to its Occupied Territories & to pack the current occupants into a tiny ‘humanitarian zone'.

Even more of the ‘Hate Britain’ campaign
It should be possible for the government to pass a law blocking the Sentencing Council's discrimination against males, white people & Christians in a day. But the far-Left in the Commons & Lords are refusing to see sense & nothing will happen until after Easter @ the earliest.
“Bier Smarmer is supposed to be having a bonfire of UseLEZ QANGOs. How come the Sentencing Council still has a fist in our pockets? More Two-Bier double talk.” Jez Paxpersona

Summit conferences used to be rare events involving the USA & the USSR glaring frostily @ each other across a conference table. Now, they are just junket talking shops offered as an alternative to actually doing something about things like migrant invaders.
The next one is a Home Office mobile phone thefts summit, @ which Pixie Balls & chums will flap their jaws & achieve Nett Zero.

Prince Hairy is highly pissed off by the hostile take-over of his charity by a pushy lawyer. But it's what they do, mate.

Pharmacies in England have called off a reduction in opening hours after the Dept. of Health was shamed into paying a fairer price for their services.

Pres. XL wanted to put tariffs on everything on April 1st. He had to be reminded that it would be idiotic to do it on April Fool's Day.

Satisfaction with the NHS = 20%, dissatisfaction = 60%.

A whole lot more of it
After the revelation that a toddler was Xpelled from a nursery for being transphobic in some idiot's opinion, 94 other cases of this nonsense have come to light.
   An Education Dept. spokes said, "The Education Secretary Xpects schools to enforce good behaviour."
   How about the Ed. Sec. doing some enforcing on school staff & sacking the crazy ones?

The waste is right on your doorstep
If you want to know where your rip-off Council Tax rise is going, take a look at the Town Hall staff. 4,000 of them are paid £100 grand or more; plus pension & Xpenses; and over 800 of the buggers get more than the prime monster.

Q: What do you do if your National Security advisor & his minions use ordinary email accounts to conduct government business?
A: Claim it's a witch hunt & refuse to fire the offenders if you're Pres. XL.

Is he in or is he out? Marsman Musk to leave his government anti-waste job in the next few months. Garbage, sez on official spokes.
   His shareholders are hoping he's going back to his businesses, which have been battered by the Trump Slump of tariffs. Good luck with fixing them.

What’s a good way to respond to the Trump tariffs?
In India, they turned him into Guy Fawkes and stuck him on bonfires.
   Despite Bier Smarmer's claims of a triumph after we ended up in the 10% Trump Tariff bin, we're actually in there with 125 other countries, most of them irrelevant to the Untied States.
   Such as Afghanistan, a.k.a. Talibanistan, and some islands inhabited only by penguins.
   Not that big a deal after all, Bier.

The monster defects in the current rules of the sport of fencing have been highlighted by the disqualification of a female fencer in the USA when she refused to be involved in a match with a man claiming to be female.
   The rights of this bloke, and others like him, obviously outweigh those of real women with wokists contaminating the sport.

Trust in Xtremely short supply
The Attorney General, Lord Squirmer, is getting a good booting for moaning about politicians daring to notice the dodgy rulings of the likes of immigration judges. He's accused of binning the rule of law in favour of the rule of lawyers.
The Lady Chief Justice is also on Team Squirmer, which creates even less confidence in the legal trade.
“Parliament is where laws are made and if they are abused, MP are entitled to say so and do something about it. And yah, boo, sucks to the arrogant lawyers.” Con Taminate

Not what they pay for
The Hampshire village of Nether Wallop, where the then BBC filmed the Miss Marple TV shows, is not a happy place. The residents reported 98 burglaries to the local fuzz in 2024. Not one single case was cracked. A spot of counselling to the crime victims is all that's on offer.
“Maybe the coppers are too busy looking for people whose feelings have been hurt by something said on the interweb.” Ian O'Vext

WEEK 2    The Sun keeps shining; how long before a hosepipe ban?

 
Dangerous obsession
A veganist who stole a lamb with a broken leg from a field has been banned from the farm where she stole it, and banned from keeping sheep permanently. The unfortunate creature was severely malnourished & underweight and in need of a week's veterinary care when the police busted the woman.

The boss of Heathrow was warned that its power supply situation is dodgy after a couple of incidents, one of which took our runway lights. Then, 6 days later, came the Day of Disaster when the substation fire shut the place down completely.

MP D. Davis is demanding protection for our soldiers from IRA attempts to rewrite history following a coroner's decision to accuse an SAS unit of unlawful killing decades after the 4 men were found to have acted lawfully.

Labour is the party of change. And they'll have their hand in your pocket for that, as well.

Video of a medical convoy in Gaza, which the Israelis blasted to bitz, killing 15 medical personnel, shows that it wasn't sneaking around at night with no lights showing. It had headlights on and also the flashing lights. Which must have made it the easiest target in the world.

Ten grand to the good
The SNP has the hump with a millionaire former treasurer, who bought properties to rent in the north of England. If he had done this in Scotland, he'd have had to pay out thousands of pounds after the SNP slapped a tax on second homes.
   C. Beattie hasn't broken the law and all the SNP leader, J. Swinney, can do is moan that what Beattie did was morally wrong. Which is about as prethetic as you can get.
“Shove your taxes up and the money goes away. Shame that politicians never seem to grasp that, despite the exodus of millionaires from the UK since Labour got in.” Wild F'hire

Something well worth considering
The medical trade is starting to ask ‘What is the point of living longer if those final years are spent in physical decline & inability to cope with more than a very basic lifestyle?'
   There needs to be more focus on health-span rather than lifespan. But given the state the current management of the NHS has got it into, customers are advised not to get their hopes up.

The UK government shipped 6,000 migrants to Scotland as part of a dispersal plan. But not to the midge-infested remote islands recommended by those footing the bill.
Trump tariff forces Smarmer to bin 2030 ban on petrol cars for the sake of the economy. Two fingers waved @ Edstone Milipede. Lest we forget, nothing done here has a measurable effect on the global climate.
White Van Man has joined the list of persecuted minorities and most are nothing like their stereotype. Lotz have a degree and many have gone all woke & silly.

Jaguar Land Rover is giving the Untied States a miss, as far as Xports of vehicles are concerned, in response to the Trump Slump tariff.
   Dealerships have a couple of months' stock in hand, which gives the firm a bit of thinking time to come up with a new strategy.

An element of good sense
Luton airport is to be allowed to Xpand as part of a growth over green bollocks agenda, which has been forced on Bier Smarmer. Looks like some others in the government are getting the simple scientific fact that we don't control the global climate and the Milipede economy wreckers need to be ignored if they can't be Xterminated.

Sherie has been off on holiday but she’s back now
“Smarmer's response to the Trump Slump? A 417 page list of US stuff which ‘could' be hit with reciprocal tariffs but probably won't be. A minor squeak rather than sound & fury.” Barry Cade
“His famous deal with the US is looking very like the smash the gangs thing. All talk and no action.” Fuller Vimself
“One tick in the win column for the Trump Tariff Blitz. JCB is going to Xpand a factory in Texas as a way of getting round the imposition on imports. Cute!” F. Lowry

Bum bitten by past sins
Being in the Trump 10% tariff bin thanks to Brexit is now a major source of embarrassment to the Labour lot. No surprise, given that Bier Smarmer voted against Brexit 48 times in the Commons & tried to get the referendum cancelled.

One of them there studies has found that a disturbing number of blokes are seriously deluded about the animals they could outrun.
   Horses & stampeding elephants are on the list of supposed animal slowcoaches.

Britain's pub & restaurant chains are being targeted by gangs of gypsies, who confect a claim of discrimination against them by being deliberately provocative, then head to court with a compliant brief in tow to try to Xtract compenbloodysation for the imagined slight.
   They're doing it so often that there is clear evidence of a racket. Not much sign of the police doing anything about it, though.

Adjustment vital now
The disastrous Freebie Reeves Budget is getting a lot more attention as the fallout from the Trump Slump becomes clearer. Some unpicking of that, and the Angular Robot Skivers' Charter and the Milipede green bollocks scams, would be sensible & prudent.
   But these are not qualities associated with a Labour government.

“How accurate is the guess that 17,000 tons of rubbish have been dumped on Birmingham's streets? Plus or minus 5,000 tons? We should be told. ” Print O'siris

The UK's largest solar farm, Porth Wen on Anglesea, was ‘ripped to shreds' by Storm D in December of last year. It's still not back working again.
   How's that giving us energy security, Mr. Milipede?

Always happens
Apparently, Labour knew last July that its tax grab on private schools would close 100 of them, pushing the pupils into the state sector. But greed won over decency & good sense.

Never put your hand in your own pocket
A new freebie count has put Serbia Smarmer way out ahead of everyone else in Parliament. No one surprised that he's still got his nose deepest into the trough. And as for paying instead of accepting a freebie, he has short arms & deep pockets.
“Doesn't say much for the morals of the typical working class member of the boilermakers' union.” Gra Sinol
“About the best Xcuse that Labour's apologists can come up with for his greed is that Tories have accepted freebies in the past, and please don't notice the industrial scale of Serbia's grabbing.” Gill Tea

Dishonest, dathonest, no sort of honest at all
The goverment is planning to waste 4 years pretending to do a technical review of copyright laws, knowing that tech firms are stealing copyrighted material right now and need to be made to pay for what they feed to their A.I.s.
   Fat chance of that happening with Smarmer's Army in charge, especially if the ‘review' will be aimed at supporting Labour's preference to Xempt tech firms from having to pay copyright fees.

Me, me and sod everyone else but me
Should we be worried that people doing ‘silent prayer' or holding up a sign inviting conversation within the exclusion zone around an abortion clinic are now liable to stonking fines & bills for costs for interfering with the ‘uman rights of others?
   Nope. This is nothing to do with freedom of speech, as the American anti-abortionists supporting them are pretending, and all to do with self-righteous individuals attempting to intimidate women going about their lawful occasions by deliberately invading the exclusion zone.

Condemned with faint praise! The recently retired by compulsion Archybish of Cantab & child abuse ignorer, J. Wetby, is now being described as ‘unexceptional'.

Q: How can you tell that President MacRon of France is nearby?
A: According to a sneaky insider, he splashes on cologne recklessly all through the day and he can be detected nasally when 30 yards away!
“Same territorial marking concept as a dog weeveling on a lamp post?” Jusbin Robbery

Yer pays yer money and yer takes yer choice
According to ‘security sources', everyone in the UK needs to have a 72-hour survival kit on hand of food, water, medicines & a Swiss Army knife for when Putinstan attacks the energy pipelines in the North Sea and the country becomes as dead as Heathrow airport after its substation fire.
   According to (former) military sources, the survival kit idea is a load of bollocks and what we need to be doing is upping our defences to make sure that Putin's sneakers don't get close enough to do the damage.

Champagne sales in the UK are at an all-time low due to both the huge price and GenZ [those born between the mid-1990s & early 2010s] going for cheaper, less fizzy booze instead of champagne.

“How big is this table the Chancellor keeps telling us nothing is off? The Isle of Wight? Wales? Putinstan? We should be told.” D'eath Drake

Labour's ‘reforms' of the bloated bill for benefits are anything but ‘tough', an analysis has found. Sickness benefit is still out of control without scrutiny of whether self-certifying claimants are actually sick, and it is heading for unsustainable in the near future.
   No sign of any awareness in the Dept. of Handing Out Dosh, though.

Our globe-trotting Commons Squeaker, L. Hoyle, is outraged that he doesn't have his own private jet. Other countries give their Squeaker a jet and they don't make a fuss about the swanning about done by their Squeaker.
   Tough. All countries are not the same.

The supermarket chain Asda is having a trial of live facial recognition software in the Greater Manchester area as a defence against the persistent & violent shoplifters whom the police persist in ignoring.

Peaceful protest & lotz of it
Political martyr Marine Le Pen is channelling US civil rights agitator M.L. King in her fight against the blatantly political judicial ruling which is keeping her out of the 2027 French presidential election.

No Xplanation is forthcoming from Israel about the lies told about blasting a convoy of Palestinian aid workers to bitz and then using bulldozers to dig a hole big enuff to bury the evidence; vehicles as well as corpses.

Four of the 43 police farces in England & Wales responded to information requests about the Motability cars given to benefits claimants.
   They reported impounding over 500 vehicles, which were being used for drug dealing, sex crimes, burglaries & all sorts of other stuff.
Around 5,500 Motability vehicles being used in England & Wales for criminal activities if the 39 abstainers have the same rate of misuse?

Apparently, it was World Rat Day on April 4th. How much was that celebrated in Birmingham?
“Probably only by the striking members of Unite.” Rah Jastan

Q: Should the Israeli goverment be worried that keeping 2 anti-Israel Labour MPs out of their country has handed a propaganda coup to the anti-Israel faction in the Labour party?
A: Not really. Labour's antis would just have found something else to rant about if they'd been denied this ishue.

50% of MPs for the Borough of Camden are actively opposing the closure of the maternity unit @ the Royal Free Hospital.
   So who's the silent deadleg?
   Some 'couldn't give a monkey's' bum called Serbia Smarmer.

Q: Which Chief Constable should be sacked on the spot?
A: The one who placed a ban on white-skinned recruits, i.e. West Yorkshire's.
“This has to be illegal. So can we Xpect the chump to arrest himself?” Himmer Layer
“This is the police farce that blows over a million quid per year on diversity crap. Deferably not fit for purpose. Not that the Home Office will do anything about it, of course.” N. Campment

Entirely predictable
1. Bier Smarmer claims he's going to rip up red tape & have a bonfire of QANGOs.
2. Smarmer creates an equal pay QANGO with the job of applying the red tape of making employers record staff wages by race.
3. No one surprised that he was lying in 1.

Freebie Reeves has been forced to declare another one despite all the promises to stop grabbing and start paying—a free night out involving dinner and a trip to the theatre with her husband.

Strange as it may seem, Israel does have a right to refuse entry to known enemies of the state, even if they are Labour MPs.
“Especially if they're looking for stuff to make trouble about.” D'eath Drake

Encouraged by the mess its binpersons have made of Birmingham, the Unite trade union is eager to do the same elsewhere as the ban on recycling collections in Sheffield isn't having much of an impact.

We now have to add a period of uncertainty to the Trump Slump.
No one thrilled.

A headmaster clobbered his deputy 5 times with an 18" pipe wrench and was charged with grievous body harm. The target had hospital treatment for what were described only as 'minor injuries'. How grievous is that?

Another missed Opportunity to be Useful?
Xperts are pointing out that the Trump Slump tariffs give Serbia Smarmer a perfect Xcuse to ditch all the Milipede Nett Zero bollocks. No one terribly hopeful that old Bier will get something that sensible as he is notorious for going for vain hope over reality.
The green bollocks here doesn't affect the global climate but it does drive businesses into Xtinction. And there is Labour's record of hating Britisch success to consider.

Bier Smarmer is claiming he'll put more coppers on the streets. Is he going to sack the chief constables who turn away white recruits first? Like that's going to happen!
The Home Office is to do a U-turn & hold at least 5 watered-down grooming gang inquiries as its usual alternative to doing anything useful.
The government has taxed London out of the top 5 wealthiest cities in the world by inspiring 11,300 of the richest residents to move elsewhere, taking their dosh with them.
Research in Sydney, Australia, has found that while women think they look better with big, fat lips pumped full of Xpensive fillers, it's off-putting for blokes. But hey, when did good sense ever get in the way of fashion.

Wee Streeting, the health miniature, is not happy about the public health crisis the Unite union is causing in Birmingham with its blockade of refuse lorry depots.
   A. Khan (Independent), the MP for Perry Barr, wants the governent to send in the Army to clear the streets.
   Like Smarmer's Army would do that to one of its paymasters.
Prime Monster Serbia Smarmer isn't happy that the Office for Budget Responsibility, of which he used to be a huge fan in Opposition, isn't taking his word for the glorious future Uncle Bier keeps claiming he's creating.
   The OBR, he reckons, is being deliberately rotten to him because it keeps demanding proof, of which there never is any, to back up his endlessly optimistic claims.

The Scottish Fire & Rescue Service has issued an Extreme Risk alert for wildfiles across the whole of the country. So mind how you go!
This morning, Weather Control tried to inflict some rain on Romiley but made an utter bog of it. Maybe more in the afternoon now we have total cloud cover?

Serbia Smarmer still wants votes for 16-year-olds after ‘political education' has been added to the schools curriculum. More cash for the lawyers when the usual suspects try to give lessons a heavy far-Left bias?

Xperimenters in the Untied States have built 3 replicas of the species dire wolf, which went Xtinct 12,000 years ago.

Israel batters Gaza a lot more as part of its quest to turn the place into another occupied territory. Putinstan continues to find Xcuses for not beginning the 30-day cease fire with Ukraine.

Putinstan is running so short of troops to use against Ukraine that it is having to sneak in imports from China, blowing the Chinese regime's claim of neutrality out of the water.
North Korean troops & Yemeni mercenaries are also plugging gaps.

What he means ain’t what he sez
Serbia Smarmer claimed he's backing Britisch business to the hilt during the week when it started to be clobbered with the Freebie Reeves £25 BILLION increase in National Insurance payments.
   That's backing as in ‘over the edge of a cliff', is it, Uncle Bier?

70% of the nation thinks that a £1.70 first class stamp is unaffordable.
Not that anything will be done about this.

Q: Is there a climate crisis here in the UK and can we do anything about it if there is one?
A: No to everything. It's just crooks trying to create confusion, during which they hope to steal even more of your money.

More talk and still no action
Angular Robot to send in the Army? Like that's going to happen!
   The government's response to the ‘major incident' in Birmingham is to call in the Army, but just some of it. No troops will be sent to clear away the Unite union's mess, Uncle Bier is just get some military planners to sit in an office and do planning.
Some neighbouring councils are helping out by extending tip opening hours to let Birmingham residents take waste there.

“What we need is a new offence of indecent annoyance with a fixed-penalty fine of £20K for people who go into a restricted zone deliberately in order to harass others, either actively or passively.” N. Capsulate

Serbia Smarmer keeps telling us that the Nett Zero bollocks is the path to the jobs of the future. But what he keeps quiet about is that the jobs will be created in China.

There is also Serbia's plan to fine car manufacturers if they don't build as many electric vehicles as he wants, even if there's no market for them. The lawyer just don't get it.

A question they can’t answer
The companies recreating Xtinct animals have all sorts of plans for things like creating mammoths to stop global warming in the Arctic Circle. But there's one vital thing (at least) which they don't know how to do, and that's provide parents to teach their baby creatures how to survive in the wild as this knowledge is gone forever.
   Something to do with the Xtinction process.

Something else the NHS won't be able to afford to deliver is a womb transplant on demand following a woman born without one giving birth successfully after her sister supplied the womb.

Most of the people paying for his globe-trotting think Squeaker Hoyle should get a bus pass, not his own taxpayer-funded private jet, and that's it!

An unhealthy number of Britisch bosses seem determined to continue with the woke diversity crap, which the Trump regime is zapping so effectively in the Untied States.
   Which doesn't Xactly create much confidence in these looney-left bozos in a time of crisis created by our wonderfully looney-Left government.

Devolved Daftness
Welsh wokeness is demanding double names for villages with a name based on a local landmark of English origin. Thus some of the residents of Northrop Hall want to add Pentre-moch, or Pig Village, to the signs in the area as there were pig ranches in the area centuries ago.
   Naturally, the people with working brain cells find the idea appalling. But they are probably doomed to having to scowl and bear it with mindless fanatics around them.

Below the line mission statement: Some of this is true, maybe, but probably not the parts that seem most real and most likely as we use current standards of elasticity where facts are concerned.
   We are constantly exposed to dodgy conclusions drawn from dodgy data by jumped-up 'experts', especially the ones found in the world of politics and particularly those at the Treasury and running trade unions.
   Some of us civilians at BFN like to join in to let them know that anyone can do it and we ain't impressed by their efforts.

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Created for Romiley Anarchists' League by workers in revolt against oppression to set the record straight in the 3rd millennium. © RAL, April MM25 like anyone cares.