WEEK 1    There is no Tory Chaos, just Labour Lies

 
Decline but not yet fall
The British Medical Journal has lost its status as a journal of record as Freedom of Information material shows that it is developing a history of rejecting papers for political and/or ideological reasons unconnected with the research on offer and not related to the quality of that research.
   Papers are also being rejected because BMJ staff are showing unreasonable personal prejudice to the author(s) of the paper based on actual views held by the author(s) & those confected for them by evil and/or iggorant others.

This is just typical of the deluge of garbage that comes out of the United Nations Organization—doing a whinge @ a perfume company over the use of child labour by farmers it buys from instead of having a go at the government of the country where these farms are to be found.

HMRC, the worst performing government department by a long chalk, is lying to the customers about how many of the minions can be arsed to go to its offices to deal with income tax & other matters. Figures double or triple actual attendance rates are usual.

Noticing that a frumpy woman is frumpy is now a hanging offence in the weird wonderland of employment tribunals and another alibi for lazy buggers, who are failing to do the job they are overpaid to do.

Peaswaller LED candles for those of advanced years Nett Zero fire risk! Powered by discreet rechargeable battery pack (supplied) Mix 'n' match units for ANY birthday cake age-count Romiley Celebrations, 112c Riverside Drive

Even more Pots & Kettles & Deadlegs
Yes, the Tories are not short of MP stooges who are dead on their legs; our sometime local MP the Wragg Revolution is a prime Xample, but Labour's top bods are also mainly prime Xamples of the condition.
   Smarmer himself, A. Robot, Edstone Milipede, Lammy, the gaffe-prone Foreign Sec. wannabe & whizz-kid who didn't during the New Labour era, the Balls-Cooper woman, Abbacuss Abbott and the just rejected O.J. Corbynstein.
Their fashionable whinge of the moment is Tory chaos but compared to what we'd get with Smarmer & his sorry crew in charge, we're going through a period of tranquillity & prosperity & contentment right now.

Looks cute but costs a bomb!
Swiss engineers have developed a ramp & bridge system, which can be installed over stretches of highway which need to be repaired. The repair crew can get the job done down below whilst traffic flows overhead. Cars, coaches and lorries can all use it safely.

Is it a trilogy or is it a 670-page novel? At last, the customers can judge. Armed with the third volume, another epic by Merik Katuryan has joined the Farrago Books collection.

There is no escape
Labour will end university tuition fees as promised by Bier Smarmer? Nope, he's done yet another U-ey and they will go up.
Letting Labour get its paws on the nation's cash is giving a box of matches back to the arsonists who burnt the house down in the New Labour years, Labour's Chancellor wannabe R. Reeves almost admitted.

A fair price for diesel fuel, according to the RAC, is 145p/litre.
Esso petrol 146.9p/litre in Romiley.
Esso diesel 151.9p/litre.

Hold a rally in Germany to complain about dangers of the current Islamification of the country and what happens? An Islamist goes on the rampage with a big knife and makes the protesters' case.

This ditchwater election has been voted the most boring of all time and no one is listening any more.

There is no Tory Chaos but there is a superabundance of Labour Lies.

Still going for the dosh
Baby killer L. Letby has lost her appeals against 7 whole-life prison sentences and will die in gaol. But that won't stop the legal trade from going through the earner of a retrial on a 2016 murder next month. Come the Revolution, the lawyers first to the lamp posts.

Spoke in the wheel
D. Lammy, Smarmer's candidate for Foreign Sec., is a champagne socialist who upsets Labour's beer drinkers—the ones who want to taunt the Tories but can't because they can just toss Lammy back at them.
   Like Bier, he is a man of principle, whose beliefs are easily as fluid as those of his party's figurehead.

Equality just for some
Bier Smarmer (Labour) goes boozing with strangers in Labour country; no offence committed, say the local cops. Tories booze with people they work with in Downing Street (London, Labour); bullshit fines for everyone.
   Tories game the system and get done for it. Not a thing happens when Labourites try it on, knowing they will get away with it.
   If the world were ever run fairly, everyone would drop dead with shock.

Q: If Labour says something is fully funded, what does that mean?
A: When the wheels come off, e.g. when 20% VAT on private school fees causes a mass migration to state schools, additional BILLIONs will have to be Xtracted from taxpayers.
   This is what happened in Greece in 2015 when the government there tried the same dodgy schooling trick.
“It's just typical Labourites like Smarmer hacking the rungs off the ladder they climbed to prevent anyone else from following them. Object? To keep Labour the party of the iggorant.” Nosmo King
“Just our old mate Bier indulging in a spot of back-door Corbynism.” Gray D. Entt
Q: Did the SnackStabber's trousers shrink after his announcement stint in the rain?
A: Nope, they always look like this.
Q: Following the retirement of H. Harperson, how much disrepute will the post of Mother of the House (of Common Criminals) fall into if Abbacuss Abbott gets the gig?
A: Enuff to create a serious shortage world-wide for at least a decade.

No change for teenage vapers. If Labour gets in, the SnackStabber's rolling tobacco ban will be back in business as Labour will pinch the idea and claim was theirs all along, a spokes has confirmed.

Always print the fiction
Is it the fault of the Co-Op Live arena in Manchester if the attraction due to perform on a Saturday night gets herself busted on drug charges in Holland?
   Er, nope. But not that journalists will let the facts get in the way of their theme that the place is dogged by disaster.

The current increase in skin cancer cases is caused by iggorance and the failure of customers to take obvious protection precautions. If you are told it's due to climate change, you are being lied to.

Boss E. Boots
PC operating system giant Mike Roesoft is getting a booting for ordering its fan club to abandon all language with military connections, real and confected by Mike.
   There was a curious silence after the Prestbury League of Physicists asked what the fashionable alternative is to 'force' as in 'the force of gravity'.
Also getting a booting is Oftwat, the water 'regulator', for trying to cut the fines on polluting companies if they are struggling 'coz they have paid too much cash to shareholders & directors, and failed to invest in pollution containment systems.

At it again
If the attendance at the general election polling stations is a bit down this time around, it could be due to an increased customer croaking rate with the Jr.Dox going on strike for 5 days from the Thursday before polling day.

Sherie with a quickie—that turned out not to be
“Does making a bunch of Moslem blokes have to share the same room with Angular 'Two Homes' Robot in her Ashton-u-Line constituency – with no other women in sight – count as a cruel & unusual punishment?” Nobe Lart
“Seeing Angular Robot stuck in a hejab would be almost worth letting Bier Smarmer buy the Moslem vote by pretending to be with them in spirit.” Quat Rovander
“Is there such a thing as a sex scandal? Or do we just get whinges from prudes & sad people who aren't getting any? What does Bier have to way about that?” S. Kini-Malink
“Could there be a less likely prospect than Israel & the Hamas reaching a deal to stop the killing?” Hevshon Blerting
“Tories or Labour? It's like having to choose between a bad cold and double pneumonia.” Musk McTusk

Entering survival mode
Some British tourists are getting the message from the inhabitants of Mallorca who don't want them around. They'll be taking their money elsewhere in the future; to somewhere with a reduced chance of being lynched!
   The locals blame tourists for putting the housing market out of their reach and preventing them from growing their communities.
The mayor of Mallorca has been forced to ditch his plan to Xclude tourists after being booted up the backside & told it would wreck the island's finances.

Bier Smarmer has adopted the tony b. liar half-undressed look that earned him the nickname "No Jacket". You can always rely on Bier to have Net Zero originality.
Someone paying attention noticed artificial crowds of Bier Smarmer 'supporters/stooges' were carrying cards with the Union Flag printed upside down. Leaving him wondering if they were iggorant or yelling for help as an upside down flag = S.O.S.
Bier Smarmer claims he will build 1,000 dwellings per day on 6 days of every week for 5 years. Or something.
It's all very well to pile the blame for frozen tax thresholds on Hunt the Stunt, the present Chancellor. But wasn't it some character called Sue Knack who did the evil deed when he held the job?

“Absolute bullshit”
The Trump stitch-up in New York went to the predicted result. Let the appeals begin and let the lawyers stuff more cash into their bin bags as nothing else is big enough to hold their gouges.

Forget facts, chase the legend
It's the Nessie Season again. Those fancying being outdoors in some clement Scottish weather can bask on the banks of Loch Ness, or take a boat trip, and pretend they are genuine monster hunters.
   Don't fall in, though, as the average temperature of the loch is just 6 deg.C at the moment.
“How curious that the climate criminals aren't yelling that gorbal warmage will make Nessie go elsewhere in search of more comfortable conditions if the criminals are not paid a big wodge of dosh.” N.E. More

Never explain, just complain
GM Police have declined to Xplain why they ignored testimony from neighbours who were living next door to Angrier Robot when she was gaming the Two Homes system. GMP are assumed to be hoping that no one will notice yet another Xample of a Labourite being allowed to get away with it.
“Is there anything that GMP actually does these days? Apart from driving around a bit in their cars & vans and drinking cups of tea.” Gates Open

Politician + water = embarrassing flop
The Trivials are trying to kill off a persistent story that their Horizon Hero leader, E. Gravy, spent a night in a cell in Cumberland after a stunt on Lake Windermere went wrong.
   He fell off a paddle board & was arrested on a charge of polluting the lake, is the story that won't go away, and making the charge go away took rather longer than the Trivials wanted.
“Shades of Neil Pillock arseing around on a beach and getting wet many years ago.” Persh Ewing

Q: Stolen Valour?
A: A trick used by coppers on the make to blag their way all the way up to chief constable level by padding their CV with fantasies, knowing that the dolts in charge will never check up on them.
   Worked a treat for the bloke who got the top job in Northamptonshire. For a fair while.

Great leap forward; not imminent, though.
Researchers in Denmark are on the track of a method of making any type of blood other than O acceptable to transfusion recipients. It involves using a strain of bacteria to remove the antigens that create the other blood types.
   But it won't be on offer until after years and years and years of clinical trials after the process is perfected.

Entities to the power of none?
Gulp! The 121 'business leaders' who are backing the Smarmer Army have been outed as a collection of rejects & deadlegs & people who have no idea what Smarmer is offering 'coz he doesn't know himself.
   If you don't make no promises, there aren't none to break—a lesson learnt from the shambles created by t.b. liar & New Labour?

When in doubt, whinge
As soon as she got the Labour whip back after her gross rachelism & entitlement had been whitewashed [belated trigger warning, Ed.] Abacuss Abbott and her gang were moaning that she'd been banned from standing as a Labour candidate @ the election.
   "No, you weren't!" yelled Bier Smarmer.
   But, natch, no one believed him. Especially the Abbott Army when they saw a chance to play their much-abused victim card yet again.
   Next thing you know, Smarmer was being positioned as a stooge, whose strings were pulled by the evil bastards running the Smarmer back office. It was the Desperate Dom & Boris scenario with a rewritten script. Or so we are supposed to accept.

Sherie Zooms back
“Was Labour really teetering on the edge of a civil war over Abbacuss Abbott, as the pundamentalists were asking? One smack round the back of the head for Bier from Angrier Robot and we were at ‘Crisis? Wot Crisis?' SNAFU.” Sno Ghud
“Trump not being found guilty in Noo Yawk was as likely as Putin not being re-elected in Putinstan. It's not justice, it's Mob-style politics.” P.H. Tester
“Wot next? The judge & jury on trial for knowingly being involved in a corrupt political process?” R. Throwpod

If public schools are no longer charities & paying VAT, they will no longer have to admit bright kids with impoverished parents on free scholarships.
   Making more room for the less bright offspring of the rich. And more bright kids dumped into the public sector and bright enuff to know who put them there.

The Most Bogus Sadistic Ever award has to go to whoever came up with the claim that in a world full of coal-fired power stations that 20% of the global rise in carbon dioxide levels is due to SUV cars.
   There's bollocks, utter bollux and this.

No wonder footfall in city centres is going down with a rush. Research in Scotland has found that UseLEZ zones around them decrease footfall by 5.4% year on year, and that's without producing any beneficial change in air quality.

Sherie gets relevant
“What rubbish some MPs are. Let us hope we get a more selective process for our rulers after the Revolution.” Harry Zontal
“Is Abbacuss Abbott an icon of multicultural Britain or a prime example of what tokenism rather than talent is all about? Probably an awful warning about where both take us.” Smier Bzarmer
“Let us not forget that remarkable is not the same as excellent or wonderful. Noteworthy encompasses bad Xamples as well as good ones.” E. Nuff
“No doubt Cambridge University would prefer everyone to forget she went there. She's not that much of an advert for the place.” Rashgan Blashkol

Israel has come up with a cute Xcuse for the deaths of scores more Palestinians in refugee camps in the Gaza enclave. Nowt to do with the Israeli Death Force, everything to do with weapons & incendiary materials stored there by the Hamas, which IDF bombs just happened to set off.
The latest scare story from the enviromentalists [stress on the 'mental', Ed.] is that earthworms will be Xtinct by the end of the current century.

The SnackStabber plans to abolish Mickey Mouse degree courses to save the best part of a billion quid. Labour is against his plan to Xpand apprenticeships as this might involve asking Labour supporting young people to do some work & damage their mental 'elf.

A major award for 'they saw him coming' goes to whoever flogged a cardigan to G. Southgate, manager of the England football team, and took £3,325 off him!
The SNP leader is sticking up for Scotland by demanding that if Labour wins the election, Bier Smarmer should do an emergency budget which will allow the SNP to stick its hand even deeper into the Englisch taxpayer's pocket.
The Royal College of Nursing is causing a national emergency in the NHS. Or something.
Ditchwater to sue everyone who claims it is as dull as Bier Smarmer.
Bier Smarmer shown up as a deadleg in his TV debate with PM. No one surprised.
“According to my dictionary, a debate is a battle in words. No wonder Smarmer didn't want 5 weekly confrontations with the SnackStabber. He's dull and his policies are crap.” Kim Jongill

Off at last
Boeing has blasted 2 NASA astronauts toward the ISS in the first manned launch of its Starliner capsule, offering a spot of competition to Marsman Musk.
   The flight carries cargo for the ISS and will allow Boeing to carry out tests of the capsule in space as it rises from its initial orbit to that of the ISS.
   A 'buzzing' valve in the Atlas booster rocket cause the flight to be postponed on the original launch date of May 6th. The next launch attempt was scheduled for May 17th but a series of delays kept the mission on the ground until yesterday [June 5th Ed.]

Good news for the American Islamist infiltraitors who are wrecking universities both in the Untied States & here, and causing havoc for those trying to sit exams and those who have to mark the papers.
   The Iranian honcho, the Ayatollah Bunchacommies, thinks they're doing a grand job.

Puzzle Corner
1. Are Moslems mugs? Do any of them think Angrier Robot making Bier Smarmer say that the Labour party will recognize a Palestinian state will actually achieve anything in the Middle East?
2. Should we be surprised that Dreary Bier doesn't have a consistent opinion on anything? Nope. Not if we get that Sir Echo just repeats what the loudest nearly nutter is yelling, and the nutters are never going to agree.

Suckers always
Lest we forget, the author G.K. Chesterton (1874-1936) described England as a place where the blind lead the people who can see.
   Clearly a man with a working crystal ball as it keeps on going on, as he must have seen.

Today's Question:
If, as N. Farage reckons, there's no point in voting Tory as Labour will win, what, then is the point of voting Reform?
   Who, like the Trivials, have no chance at all of winning.

Crazy Times
1. "Well, yes, that figures" is the obvious response to the figurehead of a strike-happy nursing union jumping ship to try to become an MP for the IRA in Northern Ireland.
2. Bier Smarmer wrecks a cosmetic carbon calming scheme with reckless jaunts on private jets instead of using public transport. His excuses are dismissed as prethetic but no one Xpects anything better. He's that sort of guy.

The SnackStabber is to go on wearing his really short trousers so that the customers can see he doesn't have any socks on because he's worked them off.

The regime in Israel Xpects the useful conflict with the Hamas to keep their leader, B. Net&Yahoo, out of the court system on corruption charges for at least another 7 months.

You are so GONE!
Labour has come up with a cute way to evict Corbynsteiners from the election. If someone makes a complaint about the target's conduct a decade or so in the past, there isn't time for the lumbering investigation process to clear or condemn the Corbynsteiner in time to get their name on a ballot paper as a Labour authorized stooge.
If O.J. Corbyn is re-elected as MP for Islington North, he will end the occupation of Palestine, bring all health companies under the control of the wonks running the NHS and take water & energy companies into public ownership. Get out of that!

The Political Dictionary
pledge (n) a ledge on which a politicians stands to P on the electorate.

Consequences or con sequences?
The traditional Labour voters Up North who switched to the Tories in the Boris election are said to be ready to abandon the party over a lack of control of immigration.
   Which would achieve what if Smarmer gets in? He won't do anything about it. So are we Xpected to conclude that Northern voters are brainless children who will throw a wobbly even if it leaves them worse off?
   If so, no wonder Smarmer wants to drop the voting age to 13.
   Especially if he has to rely on the votes of All Mouthin Trousers & his sorry Islamista crew.
The voting age is traditionally the same as the qualifying age for jury service. How like a lawyer to want know-nothing, bamboozlable 13-year-olds on juries!

Rise & shine; or not
The election, it has been pointed out, has provoked the previously dormant Tories into coming up with more policies than you can shake a stick at. Labour, in contrast, is just recycling old & rotten chestnuts & general vagueness.
   Novelty is there none. Apart from the BS of VAT on school fees, which is just boneheaded.
“The reason why Smarmer is so dull & uninspiring when he goes out stumping is he doesn't believe he should be made to hob-knob with his inferiors. He think the top job should be handed to him on a plate. And the SnackStabber is annoying him greatly by making an effort to look like he's enjoying himself when he goes out & about.” Elon Urth
“Also, Smarmer has to stand next to Angrier 'Two Homes' Robot and pretend she's a decent human bean instead of a constant thorn in his flesh.” Dantry Brace
“Which qualifies him for membership of the Porkies 'R' Us club for politicians.” P. Youtin

The Incomplete Sentence
The statement: "We all know local councils don't have enuff money" is never accompanied by the why. Which is that they waste it on overpaying staff & diversity crap & pointless things like installing speed bumps then digging them up again.
   The list goes on and on with things that offer the least Value For Money always at the top of the Xpenditure league.

They always have the same alibi
The African-Icelandic Ssenneddogg of Wales, V. Getthing, loses a vote of confidence over taking cash from a mate who's a mega-polluter of the enviromint. What's his response? Do the decent thing and resign, hanging his head in shame?
   No, a mega-whinge claiming he's done nothing wrong, and keeping him in Wales & away from the D-Day + 80 celebrations has spoilt them completely!
   Oh, and by the way, he's going to Klingon to his job.

Q: When does a Christmas cactus flower?
A: We have 2 of them. One is doing it right now [below], the other isn't. Pick the bones out of that!

There will be no change in Iran after the death of the Butcher of Tehran president in a helicopter crash. The real boss of the place, the Ayatollah Bunchacommies, will just install another figurehead/stooge and the oppression/repression will just go on and on.

Go woke, go broke
The lunatics in charge of Edinburgh City Council have deprived their customers of vast amounts of advertising revenue in the name of confecting Nett Zero in 2030 instead of 2045, which the Scottish government's scam requires.
This is something that councils in Bristol, Coventry, Liverpool & Sheffield have already done in England.
“It's now impossible to tell what is economic damage caused by communist infiltraitors and what's due to the lunatic antics of virtue-flaggers.” H.T.S.

WEEK 2    The only change Labour ever makes is for the worse

 
It’s back! Canadian Crunch resurgent in Winnipeg!
Collards was crunched by the Alouettes but they fumbled the ball away, almost a TD from it, just a FG in the 9th minute, 0-3. Nothing from the Als but a fumble recovery got them close, on to a TD, Fajardo to Philpot, 7-3.
   Collards was crunched again to start Q2. 3rd & goal from the Blue Bomber 1, another TD for the Als, 14-3. Collards was picked in the MTL end zone in the 13th minute! Nearly a TD with a few seconds left. A FG try was NG but the BB got a safety from an Als' return shambles, 14-5.
   In Q3, the BB fumbled their opener away. FG from it, 17-5. A punt gave the Als another point. A FG try by the BB to start Q4 got a single for a miss. 18-6. A FG for the Als in the 5th minute, 21-6. A flea-flicker in the 7th minute gave the Als a 72 yard TD, 27-6. The BB managed a consolation TD with a minute to go, no +2, 27-12 final.

Sussed to the Max
Labour are now officially the Unravellers, as this is what keeps happening to plans that looked fine on paper when they are Xposed to the cruel light of day and close scrutiny.
   VAT on school fees will pay for 6,500 more state school teachers? Nope. Smarmer's Green Energy Scam is dead great? Not if it will wipe out 100,000 jobs held by trade union member who pay for the party.
   More quangos? Daft.
   And so it go on.

Poisoned Influence?
Smarmer's Chancellor wannabe, R. Reeves, is alleged to be moving in the direction of an assault on private pensions of the sort that gave Gordon F. Broon, who is probably whispering in her ear with Smarmer's blessing, the nickname "The Man Who Stole Your Pension".
   Which sets up the double alibi of 'Not my idea' if it came from Broon and 'Smarmer made me do it'. Cute.

The BierBC wants opinions from viewers sent ‘on your phone, your tablet or laptop'. What do the buggers have against people who use a Proper Computer (PC)?

What was that apology from the SnackStabber for leaving the D-Day Do early all about? The occasion should have been all about the old blokes who came home and stayed alive to around 100 years old, and their contemporaries who didn't make it home. Going on about how long Sue Knack was in France was typical of the appalling bad taste and lack of focus we now expect from the BierBC and the rest of the irrelevant left-wing rabble.
“Bier Smarmer was hoovering up the SnackStabber's share of the D-Day Do booze after he nipped off early? More than likely.” Nape Roblem

1. The Scottish tourism industry has reported a dramatic drop in staycations following the imposition of rules, which let councils charge the best part of 6 grand for a licence to let rooms or dwellings on a short-term basis.
2. Change, and not that bluddy much of it, is what you'll have after Labour get their mitts on your £££s.

We've had 3 general elections since the last time Labour was in charge and they lost them all. Looking at Edstone Milipede, O.J. Corbynstein & Bier Smarmer, you can understand why.

Ever Ludicrously Lefter
Nigel Farage is teasing the Tories with a plan to take them over, as happened in Canada. But that took two general elections to achieve.
   Which leaves us wondering if the Reformed Tories will look at the state of the nation after a long period of Labour bungling and decide they don't fancy clearing up the inevitable mess.
   And their message to the nation would be: "You voted this sorry crew of wreckers in, live with the consequences."

What's the difference between what the Democraps are trying to do to D. Trump and what Putin the Poisoner actually does to his enemies?
   Lawfare including one of their judges and bending the law out of shape? Check. Tainted witnesses? Check.
   A dive out of a 6th storey window in Noo Yawk next? Or murder in a gulag somewhere remote & cold? No wonder all the totalitarian regimes are laffing and saying: "Our way is the only way."

Q: Is it cause for concern that a morning TV show has lost half a million viewers?
A: If they have found something more useful to do that sit in front of a TV, no. But life's not like that, is it?

Still Out West—in Calgary
The Tiger-Cats were visiting the Stampeders, who started with a FG. And again from 52 yards in the 13th minute, 0-6. Nearly a TD for Mitchell early in Q2 but the pass to the back of the end zone was too deep, FG, 3-6. A solid drive by the Stamps, just another FG, 3-9.
   The Cats managed a single, 4-9. An end zone pass from Maier gave the Stamps a TD, 4-16. A pick stopped the Cats, another FG for the Stamps, 4-19. Mitchell was dinged, FG for the Cats, 7-19.
   A 48-yard FG try by the Cats was missed in Q3 and was returned well into their territory. Paredes again, 7-22. The Cats got close at the end of the quarter and barged into the CS end zone, 14-22. An end zone pass to a wide open receiver by Maier, 14-29. The Cats managed a FG in reply with 7 minutes left, 17-29. FG No. 5 for the Stamps, 17-32. An end zone dive gave the Cats a TD with just over a minute to go, 24-32 final.

75th birthday opener for the Edmonton Antlers
Hosting the RoughRiders, they started with a FG. A TD in reply for SK in the 10th minute, 7-3. A QB bobble made the Ants punt in the 4th minute of Q2, single from it, 7-4. They took a lead with a TD for a new guy in the last minute, 7-11.
   In Q3, the Riders punted for a single in the 11th minute, 8-11. A great pass play went to the SK 6, TD, 8-18. A pick in the last minute of Q3 gave the ball to the Ants. They kicked a FG early in Q4, 8-21. The Riders replied with a TD in the 4th minute, 15-21. They got the ball back from a fumble, Charge! for a TD, 22-21.
   A FG try by Bede missed and was returned for nowt. A fumble by the Ants in the 14th minute gave the Riders another TD drive, 29-21. A pick by the Riders, a fumble recovery by the Ants. An end zone pass at 00, incomplete. Groan.

Stalinist Show Trials R US
The appeal system in the US is now faced with a major problem. It's obvious that D. Trump was stitched up in a way that brings everyone involved from the prosecution up to the judge into disrepute.
   If the appeal court goes along with the political scambles, it too falls open to charges of bringing the judiciary into disrepute & legitimizing legal abuses like the ones that go on in China, Iran, North Korea, Putinstan, etc., etc.
   "Look," they can yell, "Why are you getting on our case? What we do goes on everywhere, especially in the US."

When Bier Smarmer claims he was dragged up in abject rural poverty & deprivation, just like his voters, he's lying!
“Shades of Harold bloody Wilson claiming back in the Stoned Sixties he didn't have boots when he were a lad and sceptics coming back with it he didn't have any boots, it was 'coz he were always too bloody big for them!” Pierce Pointless
“No doubt Bier, in search of the Islamista vote, will tell us about all the happy hours he spent with the local Mosquitos on a Friday in his rural backwater.” Nokhan Dhu

There is still no escape
Bier Smarmer claims that only he has the absolute right to lie his head off during the run-up to the general election.
Labour's planned assault on private schools has already claimed 2 victims. The people running them decided to give up in disgust at the end of the current term.
Bier Smarmer has no plan to reform the NHS to cut out waste & defective accounting practices, clearly to avoid upsetting the trade unions on which his party is so dependent for funding.
Wheels coming off? Nope, the Abbacuss in the election crisis was just a wobbly wheel on the plan to shunt Labour's loonies & lefties into the Lords to make room for some of Bier Smarmer's mates.

Voted into o’blivion
Something else going Xtinct is grapefruit juice, which is vanishing from supermarkets. It isn't sugary enuff for snoflakes & it interacts with the medicines that doddery oldies have to take and causes all sorts of problems.
Something that really needs to go Xtinct is ultraprocessed foods, which are getting the blame for soaring cancer rates among the under-50s.

Today’s Question:
If there is VAT on pet food and you buy a 4-pack of Aldi tuna in spring water for your cat, should you declare the destination @ the checkout so that you can be charged VAT?

Worth a try
The Syrian refugee's friend, Pixie Balls-Cooper, has unveiled Labour's latest election gambit—total vagueness.
   If made Home Sec., Pixie will cut migration. But she can't say where, when, how or anything else about what will happen.

Well, why not?
Anyone who wants to take time out to campaign for a party that always makes a real difference should check out their local branch of the Monster Raving Looney Party, which is looking for volunteers.

Nottawa in Ottawa
The RedBlacks got a week off, leaving the BC Lions and the Airgoes to complete the opening week in T'ronno. The defences held up for most of Q1 but the Argonauts went in for a TD with a minute left.
   In Q2, one back for the Lions after 3 minutes, 6-all as both convert kicks missed! Then Adams with a TD pass in the 5th minute, 13-6. A QB sack after 7 minutes gave the Lions a fumble recovery TD, 20-6. A pick gave the Argos a chance, TD in the 14th minute, 20-13. The Lions coughed the ball up right away, FG from it, 20-16.
   The Argos opened Q3 with a go-ahead TD, 20-23. FG for the Lions, 23-all. One for the Argos after 11 minutes, 23-26. Adams crunched, a single from a BC punt, 24-26. A FG 4 minutes in to Q4 put BC 27-26 up. One for the Argos with 7 minutes to go, 27-29. Failing to make a 3rd & 24 from the BC 1 gave the ball to the Argos, who finished things off with a TD, 27-35; final.

If you look at the real facts, nothing we do here has the slightest measurable effect on the global climate. And when politicians tell us otherwise, they're lying; 'coz that's what they do.
“What we should be doing is demanding compenbloodysation from China, India & all the others who are making our climate twitch a bit.” Herby Blogger
“And fine politicians a grand; not from their Xpenses; for every deliberate climate lie.” Runn E. Knows

MacRon goes moody
All the elections around the world—the UK, India, the EFU, etc. are making Ron feel left out. So he's having one in France to get back on TV where he thinks he belongs.

So much for being a hero
N. Farage is on the way to another tag line. The Man Who Made Brexit Happen is heading for The Man Who Wrecked Brexit if his unelectable candidates hoover up enough former Tory votes during the general election to let Bier Smarmer take over and sell Britain out to the EFU.

Bier Smarmer would like us to believe that he is so dedicated to the NHS that if his ailing mother would have benefitted from some private medical care, she wouldn't have been allowed to have it, even though he could have afforded to pay for it Xtremely easily.
   Worren ice guy.
   Worse, thanks to BS, the dream of home ownership is almost gone, he admitted during the debate with the SnackStabber.

B. Net&Yahoo is becoming as popular as the Hamas in Israel. And unlike D. Trump, he faces genuine criminal charges if he ever ends up in an Israeli court.
   He's none too popular @ the United F. Nations after Israel's operation to rescue 4 more prisoners from the Hamas became tainted by becoming yet another massacre of Palestinians civilians. 100-400+ dead, depending on the source of the count, plus hospitals full of wounded, including lotz of women & children as well as blokes.

Q: Is there any truth to the rumour that Bier Smarmer will allow London to be renamed K'han'terbury?
A: Sounds daft enuff to be true.
Q: Whilst offering some routine lies about the PM, BS casually mentioned that his wife works for the NHS. Doing what? Matron? Doctor? Consultant?
A: She's a solicitor, so nothing medical.
Q: So that was BS just casually trying to create another false impression and hoping the customers would be too dim to spot it?
A: It's what he does.
Q: Is 50% of kids thinking Israel is to blame for the war in Gaza anti-Semitic?
A: No, it's just being anti the corrupt regime in charge currently in Israel, that's all.
Q: What can 150,000 people do together that will be a complete waste of time?
A: Occupy Whitehall in London & demand an immediate cease-fire in Gaza.

Not the whole story
Why did the PM revealing Labour's plan for a £2,000 tax grab from the workers upset Bier Smarmer so much?
   Because the £38.5 BILLION Brown Hole the Treasury found in Labour's accounts includes a number of underestimates and BS is worried that the real figure will turn out to be a coshing 3 grand.
Bog Standard
What did N. Farage say about Angrier Raygun to distinguish her from Bier Smarmer in the 7-way BierBC TV shambles?
   "At least she's got some personality"?
   Or was it scum personality?

How much respect can you have for a Chinese regime that does a megawhinge about the UK spying on it when some of its spies are taken to court here?
   Trying to pretend the Chinese don't do spying & cybercrime is never going anywhere.

Sherie’s back in action
“Who gives a crap about Horizon Hero Eddie Gravy's social care policy? He won't be in charge of anything after the election. He's irrelevant.” Kibbut Zim
“Of course, Labour's going to put up taxes. Of course, Bier Smarmer will lie about it.” Shyhose Vanderpoise
“Smarmer's problem is that if he tries to pick the pockets of the seriously rich, they'll just take their cash elsewhere. So the pockets that are picked will always belong to the people who will really feel it.” Wee Ree Lee

Evil scam thwarted?
The rise in 40-year mortgages is putting Labour's plans to raid pension savings in jeopardy. The longer the mortgage term, the less can go into the pension pots that Labour loves to grab from.
   Which means that R. Reeves' Gordon F. Broon Grabbington Department will have to come up with something else appalling.

Box-ticking, nothing more
Let us not forget that if Abbacuss Abbott was the first MP of colour, that was a triumph of tokenism rather than quality. Her subsequent history in the Commons confirmed that.

The UK private health sector is getting close to the one-million threshold for customers who choose to pay rather than wait for the lumbering NHS system to get round to them. BS is on the wrong side of the fence.
“Which could be confirmation that Labour's plans to tax the customers into the ground is aimed at putting BS on the majority side of the fence by default when no one has the cash to go private.” Reggie Ment

Blackbirds have been added to the possible Xtinctions list due to a virus which is carried by Channel-crossing mosquitos.
   What we desperately need is an impenetrable barrier along our southern coast to keep unwanteds; animal & human; out.

No let up by the Evil Empire
With their Olympics coming up, the French authorities are on the alert for acts of psychological violence perpetrated by Putinstan's hirelings. The stunts include Europeon criminals being hired to park coffins draped with a French flag @ the Eiffel Tower with a sign saying they contain French soldiers killed in Ukraine.

Replace the SnackStabber with Dave the Leader as the top Tory before the election? Only someone really desperate for attention could come up with something as daft as that, and only TV tripe-hound presenters would waste any time on it.
   Hit the off switch, read your current book instead of watching TV.

It’s not just politicians who confect claptrap
We have just had the warmest spring ever. Sez who? The EFU's climate monitoring guys.
   Based on what? Records that go back a century or two at the most for a planet which has been around for 4,500 million years? Well, yes.
   And we're talking about small fractions of a degree Centigrade? Well, yes.

Eat one single chip and you will die, is the latest message from the food-fanatic scaremongers.

Okay, it’s cute contemporaneity
A bloke in Goffs Oaks, Herts., pointed it out—that our general election is on America's Independence Day [when the Yanks stage their fight-back against the evil alien invaders? Ed.] and their presidential election is on our Bonfire Night.
   Does it mean anything? Nope. Does it matter? Nope.
[Okay, that's that settled. Ed.]

How peculiar that D. Blunkett (Labour), when he writes something for the papers, is billed as a 'former Home Sec.' rather than a 'twice forced to resign over scandals when Home Sec.'

Oh, dear, what a shame
Having blown up three-quarters of its undersea Nort Stream gas pipelines to Germany, Putinstan has gas it can't get rid of. Worse, the Chinese are playing hard-ball over what they are prepared to pay for Putin's gas.
   President Eleven holds all the high cards in their game of diplomatic & economic poker. So who's the boss? China. And who deferably ain't the boss? Putinstan.

If life were easy, anyone could do it
Something else you need to be wary of if you put yourself into the clutches of the NHS is the surgical care practitioners, who have a long history of botching operations which they are not fully qualified to carry out.
   This is something that has been going on for the entire 8 decades of the NHS, despite concerns Xpressed by the Royal College of Surgeons.
   If you are offered a SCP for a cataract operation, you might consider deciding whether you can afford to go private and get a properly qualified surgeon.

Bier Smarmer will personally build 4 more nuclear submarines.
Or something.
“Typical of Beer Smarmer to blame his dad, a toolmaker, 'coz he turned himself into a proper tool instead of getting a worthwhile job. Like a toolmaker who could actually build a submarine.” P. Utrid

Maybe you need Gulliver’s Gravity Pills! Our planet is under constant bombardment by debris from outer space, which increases its mass and the force of gravity experienced @ the surface. GGP are clinically proven to strengthen muscles & skeletal structures to help their users to cope with this phenomenon. Special discounts for the over-70s! @ Romiley Advanced Pharma, 32d Riverside Drive

4.9 million viewers for the SnackStabber doing over BS compared to 6.9 million for President Boris doing it to O.J. Corbynstein when they did their first TV debate on ITV in 2019. The essential dullness of BS is getting the blame for the reduced interest.
The charity Ovarian Cancer Action is getting a booting for claiming that anyone can get their brand of cancer, even men, who don't have ovaries.
The EFU is making the manufacture of smoky bacon crisps in Northern Ireland illegal [increasing the Ire quota, Ed.]. Something else for the smuggling trade to add to their list of services.
Wot rotters them voters are. They don't think the BS idea of reducing the voting age to 16 is BRILLIANT!

Necessary stealth
The police are to trial phone-size scanners, which will detect hidden knives, later in the year. [No date on offer yet to evade awkward questions, Ed.] It is hoped that the detector will outflank the non-white known knife-toters, who yell "Rachelism!" when they are stopped for a search.

Music festival patrons are being encouraged to recycle the tents they usually abandon @ the festival site. The outdoor chain Decathlon UK is running a buy-back & resale project again this year.

Ever optimists
The Democraps are still claiming Creaky Joe Biden is 100% but they haven't come up for a convincing Xplanation for why he suddenly comes to a dead stop during activities.
   He's obviously in no condition to serve out the rest of his term, never mind four more years from next January. But that's politics for you. Absolutely fuq all to do with the real world.

Today’s Question:
If you throw snails over the fence into next door's garden, how do you know they will stay there instead of heading back to somewhere that must be offering something worth having if the owner evicts them?

The darkest shade of Green
All Mouthin Trousers, the Islamista Green party councillor for Leeds, has succeeded in ousting the Jewish chaplain @ the university, who is heading for Israel following a hate campaign by the Pal Pals & death threats against him and his family.

Barmy Smarmer blows another gasket
Kreepy Smarmer's GB Energy scam is getting a good booting from the industry. Will the companies involved let BS windfall tax them till the pips squeak and then happily cough up even more dosh to invest in GBE? Not a chance. They'll take their cash elsewhere to some place that appreciates it and let the lights go out in the BS wonderland.
   100,000 jobs gone from Scotland to Norway, the US and elsewhere?

Truth, Schmeuth
Labour's apologists are working hard to shift the blame for the collapse of the Royal Bank of Scotland from Fred 'The Shred' (unknighted) Goodwin & Gordon F. Broon to our SnackStabber PM.
   They don't have any smoking guns or even shreds of evidence but the apologists are certain that Sue Knack was in the UK when all the shenannygoats went on, and that's good enuff for guilt by association, in their opinion.

Q: Is it true that BS spends more on specs than an actual working family spends on groceries in a year?
A: He's not denying it.
Q: Does it matter if the Greens want to tax everyone with a few bob into o'blivion?
A: As they're not going to be the next government, nope. Same with the Trivials.

The body count after the latest Israeli Death Force foray into Gaza is 274 dead Palestinians & 698 wounded, according to the Hamas.

According to its looney Left, BS is lower in the esteem of the Labour party than V. Getthing, the African-Icelandic Ssenneddogg of Wales, who has just lost a vote of confidence in the Ssennedd.

“No tax reductions on offer from Labour. They are planning to toss too much of our cash to their mates to reduce the take.” Lum Bergerak
“Will the U-Bugger rob you blind? When has the grabbing-Left ever done anything else anywhere?” M. Uchas

The Rodney Version; but she’s already wearing her hero’s T-shirt
A Labour spokes claims there are no plans needing any taxes to be increased. Meanwhile, theGrauniad (!!) revealed a leak that R. Reeves, the Gordon F. Broon wannabe, has a list of 12 (!!) taxes she would like to increase at once in a lump for a public spending splurge.
   So much for BS calling the PM a liar over Labour's tax plans.

The Bush Theatre in London (Arts Council funded) has been awarded the Woke Wibblership Award for creating a 12-page self-care guide for the delicate morsels who go all wobbly when triggered in a theatre.

The Labour party general election manifesto/lie-fest was unveiled by Bierman [right], who is noted for having as much humanity as an empty beer bottle.
   What was on offer can be safely ignored, was the expert opinion. BS has abundant form for making firm promises that just come to nothing.
“Maybe that's why old creepy pants keeps banging on about change. His memory is rotten and he never knows what he's done a firm, unalterable promise on. So he covers it up by pretending he's the Cojones of Change.” Par Kitin

In death, no dignity
Lest we forget, Iranians are looneys. So much so that the body of their Ayatollah Bunchacommies became lost in a scrum of state-sponsored mourners for a while during his June 1983 funeral, and the remains had to be sneaked away for a private interment.

Modified Joke:
Q: What do you call a broken tin opener?
A: A (Sadgeek) K'han't opener. (Groan)

Creating a dress that got talked about a lot by the leisureistas of the interweb doesn't keep you out of gaol if you attack your wife brutally.

Despite all the hysteria about gorbal warmage, it's still snowing on the peaks in the Highlands of Scotland in June.
   And it's not just a token couple of snoflakes—enuff is landing to provide a decent covering. Add on below average temperatures & lotz of wind chill, and warmage there ain't.

Lest we forget, Abbacuss Abbott wasn't the first of colour MP, just the first female one. She was one of a trio also featuring Bernie Grant & Paul Boateng. None of them went on to astound & sparkle, and they all remain just very minor footnotes in the history of our Parliament.

Today’s Question:
How much difference to the Middle East situation will BS make if he puts on his Kreepy Kier superhero outfit and recognizes a Palestinian state after the Rodney Smarmer Academy of Obfuscation delivers his Change Adjusted election manifesto rewrite? Apart from fuq all?
“He's just trying to hoover Pal Pals votes away from the Greens with a meaningless gesture, and if they fall for it, that doesn't say much for the Pals!” Claudtheguys Vanderpoise

Public Service Announcement He's been called the Blogger of the Decade His intellect is matched only by the size of his luck and the size of his bank balance. And yet he manages to keep his Feet On The Ground with the greatest of ease. Do yourself a favour and find out what Xavier has had to say about what's going on Right Now!

WEEK 3    CHANGE is just different with better not guaranteed

 
First Canadian Crunch in the nation’s capital
The Ottawa RedBlacks opened their season against the Winnipeg Blue Bombers. A good start for the home team but just a FG from it. They were back for more late in Q1, they made a 3rd & 1 @ the BB 5, on to a charge into the end zone, 0-10.
   A tipped pass gave the ball to the RBs in Q2, FG, 0-13. One back for the BB after 8 minutes, 3-13. Then a TD barge from the RB 4 late in the half, 10-13. 10-16 at the close.
   A huge BB pass play in Q3 set up a 3rd & goal and a TD, 17-16. The RBs retook the lead 8 minutes in to Q4 with a TD, 17-22. Punt for a single in the 12th minute, 17-23. 3rd & goal @ the RB 6; Collards mugged, game over? The RBs gave up a safety to waste some time. 19-23 final.

More milking of the cash cow needed
A spot more eye-watering is on the way for their trade union backers—Labour blew £1.5 MILLION on an investigation of a Gang of Five Corbynistas, who were accused of leaking stuff embarrassing to BS.
   The whole thing has now been abandoned, which means that the Bruvvers will just have to dig deeper to keep BS & Co. in beer.
The wheels are coming off for the Mugger's disciple, R. Reeves, with increasing rapidity. Her reputation for competence has gone up in smoke after she published an obviously dodgy dossier, which was torn to pieces by the Xperts as soon as it appeared for reasons as simple as swapping over plus and minus signs, and not being arsed about proof-reading.
   But hey, she's Labour. It's what they do.
“Looks like Reevesie is learning the hard way that if you can't trust your minions to check your knocking job 'facts' if it's a job that's beneath you, it will be eggon mush time regularly enuff to be your personal SNAFU.” Igor Rainhood

Putinstani cosmonaut O. Kononenko has spent 1,000 days in space since 2008. Doing what? one might ask. It seems a rather Xtreme way of getting as far as possible from Putrid the Poisoner & his hirelings.

The climate criminals are currently working hard to confect a link between the massive amounts of sulphur dioxide released during a major volcanic eruption and human activity.

Campaign Trail for politicians, Campain Trial for the customers, who are being subjected to 4 weeks of boasts, outright lies & obfuscation. Plus an unhealthy dose of bias from the BierBC.

Printer firm HP (American), which bought the firm Autonomy that was created by M. Lynch (Britisch) for $11.7 BILLION, has failed to get him sent to gaol for fraud. A jury in San Francisco tossed all 15 charges in the bin.
Entitled American women are turning their wedding & engagement rings into a pair of divorce rings if they don't think that they should lose their diamonds just 'coz they can't keep a husband.

Are all the Labour MPs robots? If their deputy leader is the Angrier Robot; vindictive with attitude; that must make their characterless cold fish of a leader the Bog Standard Robot, who is either a clueless idiot or chancer who'll say anything if he thinks it will get him something.
“Reeves is the Horizon Robot, making all our cash vanish?” Tex Rebate
“And starring Wee Streeting as Marvin, the Paranoid Android.” Tack Xicab

The Green party is now seen as a serious rival to residual Corbynsteiner Labour as the refuge of the anti-Semitic lobby.

At home again for the Antlers in sunny Edmonton
A big pass play set up an end zone trip by the Montreal Alouettes and a juggling catch, 7-0. The Antlers got close, charge! from the MTL 1, 7-all.
   The Als started Q2 with a FG. A sack late in the half left the Ants with a FG and 10-all. The Als got a TD from a broken play, 17-10. Bede kicked a 48-yarder @ 0:00, 17-13.
   Q3 was all defence & missed opportunities. Cote missed a MTL FG try after 7 minutes of Q4. A tipped pass stopped the Ants when they got close. Another TD for the Als, 23-13. A charge! from the MTL 1 got the Antlers a TD but 23-20 wasn't enuff.

One-way street?
How strange that the 'uman bluddy rights mob @ the Untied F. Nations are not issuing arrest warrants for the head Talibandits, who are staging public floggings for the entertainment of their sick customers and who plan to let them resume stoning women to death.

Bricks not batted away
The usual brick hurled @ the Reform party is that their election candidates are mainly token bodies who have no idea what the party is all about and who haven't been vetted to Xclude the sort of nutters the Green party is full of.
   But when you think about it, there are plenty current & wannabe members of the 2 main parties who are cannon fodder out of the same box.
   And then there are the ones who were vetted & elected, and turned out to be deadlegs. Corbynstein, our own local hero the Wragg Revolution, Ms Abbacuss, Trussty Lizzie, Wee Streeting, Edstone Milipede, et al. And lest we forget, the Horizon Heroes Gravy & Smarmer.

More Canadian Crunch in Vancouver
The Stampeders visited the BC Lions and opened the scoring with a 10th minute TD. Adams had to run for his life to take a drive into Q2, and he was doing it again when he threw an end zone TD pass.
   The PAT was tipped, 7-6, but a pick gave the ball back to BC. A rouge from it. The Stamps got to & goal, FG, 10-7. Adams passed to the end zone with 2 minutes to go, TD, 10-14.
   One back for the Stamps with an athletic end zone catch in Q3, 17-14. A FG in the 10th minute for BC made it 17-all. In Q4, the Lions started pinned deep, some great catches got them to the CS 1, charge! and a TD, another blocked PAT, 17-23.
   The Stamps were threatening but knocking a fumble out of bounds gave the ball to BC in the 12th minute. A 47-yard FG by Whyte in the last minute made the final score 17-26.

More Bier Sky thinking
Will shoving an Xtra 1,000 snivel servants into the Home Office speed up deportations of foreign criminals, illegals & other undesirables with a Labour government in charge? Joke!
   The snivellers will feel even more entitled to whinge about being bullied if they're actually told to do some work and even less will get done.

Apparently, E. Gravy's alibi for letting the Horizon Horror Happen is that he became an orphan in his teens and therefore Xcused the blame for everything after that.

More Worthless Wonks
The Notional Police Chiefs Council is diving deeper into disrepute by claiming there are 72 genders that the police need to cater for and by refusing to stop blokes claiming to be WPCs from doing body searches on real women.
   There are calls now for the entire NPCC to be declared unfit for purpose, and be scrapped & replaced.

Q: Is it a Big Deal if a celeb with 382 million fans in an online lounge loses 120,000 of the flakiest for not yelling for the Pal Pals' cause?
A: Maybe 0.00034 of a deal, given that governments pay Nett Zero attention to the ramblings of celebs on the interweb.

Q: What does the ‘GB' in GB Energy, the BS flagship, stand for?
A: According to P. Mordor (Conservative), it's Giant Bills.
[No help needed with what BS stands for, of course. Ed.]

Today’s Question:
If we're in deadly peril from out-of-control gorbal warmage, how come we're currently Xperiencing some unseasonably cold weather?

The language of polarized commentaters:
hard-Right – inflexible, nothing negotiable, smash-mouth
far-Left – distant, nothing to worry about
[hard-Right is anything at all that the BierBC and Grauniadistas don't like. Ed.]
“So hard-Right could, in theory, be applied to Brussels sprouts by the usual suspects?” Bosun Haagen
“Is that common taters wot should be mashed?” Press Datin

Q: Should BS become PM, will he have major problems with trying to get back in to a realigned EU which has shed a lot of the communist/socialist garbage that he's trying to sell?
A: He's a lawyer. He'll just do whatever they tell him to do to sell us out as that's what lawyers do.

In case you missed it, Reform plc (prop. N. Farage), has also hit the ‘I' for Irrelevant button with a manifesto as unaffordable as those of the Greens, the Trivials, etc.

Being an alcohol abstainer in the London area can be somewhat worrying at times . . .

Britisch tourists are letting the side down in Mallorca, where the Germans have claimed the crown for drunken bad behaviour—especially the girls.

Week 2 ended in Hamilton on Sunday
The RoughRiders visited the TigerCats, who opened with a FG. In for a TD after 11 minutes for the Riders, 7-3. One monster pass play at the start of Q2, a TD for the Cats after 20 seconds! 7-10. End zone again for the Cats in the 10th minute, 7-17. The Cats got to FG range in the 14th minute, 7-20 at the half
   One back for the Riders early in Q3, 10-20. A wide open receiver got the Riders close, TD charge! from the TC 1, 17-20. A fumble recovery by the Riders was wiped out by a penalty. A trick play got the Cats to the RR 16, TD to follow, 17-27. The Riders kicked a FG in the 2nd minute of Q4, 20-27.
   One for the Cats in the 10th minute, 20-30. Boot! by the RR in the 12th minute, 23-30. The Riders to the TC 11 in the last minute, TD, 30-all! A bobbled catch attempt went to the Riders! And they kicked a 43-yard FG @ 0:00 for a 33-30 win!!

Today’s Question
Are Bier Smarmer lookalikes; most of them from Eastern Europe(?); going to make their fortune after July 5th? Or are we going to be treated to a succession of talking planks on big screens created by various crApps?

If telling obvious lies on TV becomes an offence that attracts a spot fine, which will have to cough up more, the BierBC or the Labour party?

Tech marches on
Trust Apple to come up with another way to help their customers to waste their lives messing about with a pocket phone. The latest wheeze is an A.I. crApp that lets customers create their very own bug-eyed emoji.
Sheesh!

Self-satisfied veggies who nosh lots of ultra-processed vegetable-based gunk that looks like pork pies, etc., are going to die, just like everyone else.

Lest we forget:
Labour-run Wales NHS economics of 2020 – save £70K by paying a consultant £300K to come up with a way to save the £70K.

28% of crimes went unreported last year because the victims knew that telling the police would be complete waste of their time, according to a survey by Neighbourhood Watch.

Wimpification
In the bad old days, people had to toil for a full working week before they could start their weekend on Friday night. But modern Millennials & GenZ can manage only 3 days' toil before feeling ready to start their weekend on Wednesday evening.

Apple phones with A.I. will be unwelcome on the premises of Marsman Musk's companies. He sees them as an unacceptable security violation and they will have to be checked at the door with guns, a bad attitude and other risks to security.

No Show
A pair of animal rights Xhibitionists had an unfortunate Xperience during the week just gone. They invaded the gallery where the red painting of King Chuck is on show and pasted a couple of comedy labels on it.
   Then they waited outside the gallery to be arrested. And waited and waited and waited until they realized that the Polis of the Metrolopis could not be arsed to take any notice of them.
Even more annoying for the Xhibitionists, the gallery owner revealed that the picture has the essential precaution of a protective perspex screen to frustrate idiots like the Show Off Two, and their contribution was just peeled off & binned.

Today’s Question:
Is Smarmer's violently inclined poisonous dwarf Wee Streeting now too grand for a diminutive and should we be calling him Urinate?

Heading for the bin?
Is Bier Smarmer going the same way as Creaky Joe already has? His reaction to the Tory party launch was to accuse the SnackStabber of offering a Corbynstein manifesto, i.e. a blatant wish-list of unachieveables.
   Has BS forgotten that he was yelling for Xactly that sort of manifesto when he was Corbynstein's best mate?
   Not just in one but in TWO Corbyn-flop general elections.
   Evidently. Even though he's trying to deny now that he ever thought Corbynstein had a chance of winning. How lawyerly.

Could be a lot worser
We might not be too thrilled by our weather, which is switching from downpour to summery sunny on an hourly basis, but at least those in the Romiley area don't have to worry about dengue fever, which is all over Mediterranean hot spots like Cyprus thanks to the abundance of mosquitos which the EFU is doing nothing to control.

Perilous Project
Bad news for Marsman Musk's off-world colony plan. Inadequate radiation shielding is putting astronauts @ severe risk of kidney problems. Even the ones who operate only in Earth orbit.
   Which means that anyone planning an 8-year round trip to Mars using the present tech would be well advised to get on the NHS kidney transplant list before setting off.
   Who know, they might even be near the top when they get back.

Another good intention
Creaky Joe Bidet is going to stand by his criminal son. Which will be a little difficult if Hunter gets 25 years in a max. security gaol.
   Spotting which of the gang of red-clad cons is the right one won't be a problem, however, if Joe is allowed to take his usual entourage of minders on prison visits.

Sherie with a theme
“It's all very well Mr. Farage from the garage making demands but how many MPs does his party have? That should decide who gets into the TV argy-bargy show.” Bickie Tin
“Why should Mr. Farage from the garage be twitted for producing a non-manifesto that doesn't add up? That's what the other out-of-powers did; Labour, the Trivials, the Green Pal Pals et al.” Splat McGatt
“It was theGrauniad that started the twitting. That's the paper that makes 2 + 2 equal 5 on a regular basis. Unless 3 is more convenient. And Mr. Farage made it clear he wasn't offering a manifesto. But were the Grauniadistas listening? Do they ever?” Par Kititin

Esso petrol 144.9p/litre in Romiley.
Esso diesel 149.9p/litre.
Both down a bit.

Labour’s planned Stealth Tax Rises:
The Reeves 12 + the Smarmer Gang 6 = 18.

More fascist-leftery
Self-righteous control freaks are trying to stir up trouble for Reform plc parliamentary candidates who dare to have a look at what the New Britisch Union (of fascists) is doing on the interweb. Being informed is not something the freaks encourage as it makes their job that much more difficult.

The cancer lobby is demanding that the incoming government pledges to meet all cancer waiting time targets by the end of the next parliament.
   But all that's likely to happen without major reform of the NHS is the pledge trotted out and nothing happening.

The current Coney Island hotdog eating champion has been banned from this year's event for the dastardly deviation of promoting vegan sausages.

The homosexualist lobby keeps on having a go at the Pope, who is quite prepared to let them join of the Catholic Church but not become members of the priesthood.
“Wait till the transpicaters get on his case!” Avinga Nibble

The new head of the BierBC's sports dept., A.K. Jetski, has got off to a good start by declaring that retired successful female stars know nuffink about sport, not even the one they Xcelled in.
   Natch, no evidence is on offer to back up his prejudice. Sounds like he's a real cute guy.

Lor ‘n’ order without either of them
The Labour party has come up with a cute scam with the working title of ‘crooked in a good cause'. The good cause, unfortunately for the Britisch nation, is transferring power away from Westminster into the hands of lawyers, judges & other unelected bods, and to the devolved mini-states.
   Which amounts to putting real power beyond challenge in the hands of the hard-Left, where Labour thinks it belongs.

Bier Smarmer's problem is that he's not an ideas man. There's not a scrap of originality in his sorry carcase and that's why he has to latch on to the likes of O.J. Corbynstein, G.F. Broon, the Mandelsleaze , t.b. liar et al, and pretend that their crap is Wunderbar!

Cynical, but it does happen
Of course, the sceptics are now saying that Barclays has a wrecking crew that bashes the bank's branches and sprays them with red pain so they can be closed and the blame can be dumped on Just Stopper looneys.

Q: Where do you end up if you book special assistance tickets and try to get from Bristol to Barcelona?
A: Kuanas in Lithuania if you are daft enuff to fly Ryangrounded.
p.s. The couple's luggage took 2 days to catch up with them.

Future catastrophic rather than imperfect
Mouth open, out comes the lie. "Another 40,000 NHS appointments," says BS.
"Won't happen," say the Xperts. "The claim doesn't add up."
Mouth open again, another lie.
   And so it goes on and on and on . . .
Especially after July 4th if Labour gets a wipeout.

from 2020:
1. Ragged-arsed socialist scrounger and just another comrade of the people? Not so. Sir Kreepy Steamer, the posh leader of Her Majesty's Opposition and the former Director of Public Prostitutions, has been exposed as owning half of Surrey. And who knows what this man of means owns elsewhere.
2. Labour party leader Sir Kreepy Steamer has admitted undermining the efforts of the teachers' unions to use the lockdown to create an uneducated, Labour-voting underclass by having his children secretly taught at home whilst their schools are closed.

Q: If you break your ankle in Scotland, where's a good place to do it so you get a mention in the papers?
A: The beach in Achnahaid Bay, which a blockbuster film used as a location, is a good idea. Especially if the local lifeboat gives you a lift.

What we need really desperately is a campaign to reduce mental o'besity to reduce the number of fat-headed people with a vote.

Perhaps it's just as well the weather is a bit soggy & chilly right now. Back in May of 2020, when the first Chinese plague lock-in was being relaxed, the scaremongers were trying to get us terrified of giant hogweed, which can XPLODE! everywhere in hot weather, and is poisonous & can cause blindness.

The new definition of insanity:
Voting to let Labour tax you into poverty to punish the Tories.
“Mr. Farage from the garage can also give the above definition a good run for its money. His definition amounts to ‘We are skint, that's why Reform plc will spend more billions on public services and cut tax revenue.' Right.” Dar Korder

AeroZube! Hits the Spot
Every time!
All day long
Romiley Essentials, 112B Riverside Drive Offset

O.J. Corbynstein is not convinced by the BS claim that Smarmer was sure they'd lose the 2019 general election when he was O.J.'s best mate in the whole world.
   It's just a loser rewriting history because he's a weak man who's a prethetic liar, is the message to Beer.
   Did you know Beer's dad was a toolmaker, by the way, and he grew up in abject poverty?
“What sort of a tool did Beer's dad make? Our choice is an adjustable spanner, which is broken & can't get a grip on anything.” H.T.S.
“Serbia Smarmer is a complete joke. He can't even tell a routine political lie about being working class and growing up in abject poverty without making a complete hash of it.” Yafa Dasmustash

In fact, Bier is more of a doshan blida than a tool if he claims he didn't have Sky TV when he were a lad 'coz his parents were too poor to have a telly.
   In fact, Sky started doing its satellite broadcasting thing to the UK thing in 1989, when Bier were a young lad of . . . 27.

Tech used usefully
A team @ Glasgow University is looking at ways to incorporate A.I. systems into the drones used to search for missing persons out in the wilds.
   If the A.I. can learn to search more effectively using terrain data, rescue times should decrease and survival rates increase.
   Reduced recklessness among the humans who go missing would also be good, but that, of course, is too much to Xpect.

Discarded PM t.b. liar is attempting to set himself up as a human anatomy guru following the failure of the current Labour leader, B. Smarmer, to understand the basic differences between male & female.

“Guess what, in early June 4 years ago, the weather was wet & chilly but expected to get hotter, just like now. Some bastard @ Weather Control is just recycling dodgy scripts & hoping we won't notice.” G. Radual

Smarmer offers trial poverty over the next 5 years. Or something.

No firm rules, all a matter of interpretation
According to the honcho of the Polis of the Metrolopis, M. Rowley, it is lawful to stir up racial & religious hatred as long as it is done without being abusive and threatening, i.e. by presenting what looks like a calm, reasoned argument for why your targets are scum.
   Which is very laid-back & Britisch! And a fine example of the law being as arse as well as those who administer it.
“With the greatest of respect, your lot are scum and you can't touch me for mentioning it in a calm & casual way.” M. Appeel
“So if you indulge in a 'Labour are bastards' clap, clap, clap, clap-clap chant, but say it calmly and politely instead of yelling it like an Angrier Robot, that's okay? And if some copper busts you, you can sue the life out of him/her/it for violating your 'uman bluddy rights? Wunderbar!” Mol Teaser

Still going on
How do you fool your boss into thinking you're working when you're Shirking @ Home? With a 'mouse mover', which shoves it around a bit and creates a façade of meaningful activity.
If detected, it's a sacking offence.

The Algae Boutique & the Pal Pals have been upset by charges of TMB [Too Much Bunting, Ed.]. They are being accused of behaving like the Xtinct Narzis & Sovyetskis by filling city streets with their flags in a way that can be seen as aggressive CSAO**.
[**Claiming Space As Ours, Ed.]

The word 'pathetic' has had to be retired as it has been worked to death by meeja commentaters [many of them do seem to be right taters! Ed.] trying to describe the flood of political party manifestos & the people who confect them.

A rush of words
Should he come out on top next month, a BS presidency is Xpected to attract a flood of academics, all eager to write an encyclopaedia on how a nation's ambitions can be crushed and its finances devastated in a couple of years by a sorry crew of poseurs.
   Certainly, as far as finances are concerned, in a time period which will make Gordon F. Broon look like a rank amateur.

Q: How long will it take to repair the country after Smarmer & his successors have finished with it? Or the country has finished with them?
A: As the damage Gordon F. Broon & new bloody labour did to the economy still hasn't been fixed, the end of the current century is probably quite optimistic.

Advertisement Mr. Wydey’s Book List Highly Recommended Reading, Authors worth pursuing & some Awful Warnings, Hundreds of Bux listed!

WEEK 4    “You turn if you want to; that’s what BS will always do”

 
As a result of the Enviromint's Agency's on-going policy of deliberate neglect of infrastructure, flood warnings have been going out in areas which have had below average rainfall.

Today’s Definition: Optimist
Someone who takes their watch off to do the washing up and then keeps looking at their wrist, expecting to find out what time it is.

The RedBlacks take a trip to Montreal
A solid opening drive by the Alouettes ended in a TD for Fajardo. A quick pick got the Als to a goal line scramble, TD, 0-14 after 5 minutes. Add a FG in the 12th minute, 0-17. Boot for a rouge by the RBs, 1-17. Fajardo ran for his life in Q2, FG from it, 1-20. Another fumble by the RBs, a huge TD pass for the Als, 1-27. 1-30 at the half.
   In Q3, a 47-yard FG try missed but a penalty on the Als let the RBs go on to a TD, 8-30. Another RB FG try missed for a single. Another try late in the quarter worked, 12-30. The Als woke up, TD in the 2nd minute of Q4, 12-37. Crumbs! The kick off returned for a TD!! 18-37. Another for the Als, 18-44. Then a FG, 18-47. One for the RBs and 21-47 final.

Next, the BC Lions in Winnipeg
Big strike for the Lions in the 3rd minute, TD, 7-0. They were held to a FG in the 8th minute, 10-0. The BB finished Q1 with a TD charge!, 10-7. Another FG for BC, 13-7. A fumble recovery at the end of the half got the BB close but they ran out of time.
   Adams passed to the end zone 4 minutes in to Q3, 20-7. The BB got to the BC 1 after 9 minutes, 20-14. A TD for the Bombers 2 minutes in to Q4, 20-21. A FG put BC 23-21 ahead. One for the BB in the 10th minute, 23-24. Another for BC, 26-24. A huge pass play got BC close enough to run out the clock and win.

Simper Groan, our meeja correspondent, wonders:
Is there a political lie Smarmer HASN'T told us on one of the rare occasions when he stops obfuscating?
   About wealth creation? Check.
Occasionals supplying ALL our energy needs by 2030? Check.
   No tax rises? Check.
Thousands more police, teachers, health workers, etc.? Check.
   And so the search goes on and on and on.

Today’s Secret Message: Mingers Diretta - goldmine!

Drinking coffee can prolong the lives of desk jockeys by countering the negative effects of sitting for hours on end. The coffee industry greeted this study's findings with great joy.

High energy costs & taxes are making pubs vanish faster than bank branches. And if we end up stuck with a Labour government for the next 5 years, the industry fears, they could well go Xtinct.

"If Sir Kreepy wants to portray himself as a ragged-arse ne'er-do-well like the people he represents, he's going to have to get himself a much better drama coach", one of our correspondents offered in June 2020.
He were crap back then & he's crapper now. Which means what? Either he's too bloody mean to hire a drama coach or the ones he has hired turned out to be crap?

Decisions, decisions
What those with a vote have to ask themselves is if they hate the Tories so much that they are prepared to let a Labour government go on an orgy of tax & waste and steal their future.
   If you're okay with that, vote Labour, some token minor party or stay at home. Just don't start whining when the country goes to the dogs because you voted for this direction.

“Are we really Xpected to believe that our SnackStabber PM was trying to play the Smarmer 'poor bloody me' card when he mentioned that he also didn't have Sky TV when he was a lad? No real person does. It's just another Labour lie of distraction. There are a lot of them about.” Jons Teed

The Edmonton Antlers got a trip east to T’ronno
The Argo opener was stopped by a sack, Bethel-Thompson fired an end zone pass, 7-0. A Swiss cheese TD dash by the Argos with 4 minutes to go, 7-all.
   Another bomb to Mitchell, TD for Lewis, 14-7. One back for the TA in the 5th minute of Q2, 14-all. A bum DPI call set up an Argo TD, 14-21. A rouge for the Ants made it 15-21 at half time.
   A pick by Purifoy in Q3 set up a TD for the Antlers, 22-21. A rushing TD put the Argos ahead 22-29 with +2. The Ants got level with a TD in the 3rd minute of Q4. One for the Argos in the 6th minute, 29-36.
   Definite DPI put the Ants @ the TA 2, Charge! for a TD, 36-all. But the Argos kicked a FG with no time left, 36-39 final. Groan.

Sherie asks “does Creaky Joe have a rival?”
“BS is clearly getting; or has gone; senile if he thinks the Tories crashed the economy in 2022. Or is he pretending he wasn't around in 2008 when Gordon F. Broon let the banks go bust? That was a crash. Unlike the bobble 14 years later, which was soon fixed. Unlike the Brown Bust, which remains seriously unfixed.” Sam Pell
“And is likely to become even more unfixed if Labour's spendthrifts bombard us with more Broon stealth tax & waste.” Geroota Weigh
“Is there anything Bier Smarmer won't tell a lie about? Does he have the slightest grain of honesty in that lawyerly carcase? The smart money is on the nogative right now.” Obama Pajama

Q: Are MacRon & Sue Knack comparable in their election-calling skills?
A: Nope. MacRon will still be a figurehead president of France after his party is wiped out but the SnackStabber will be gone from the PM job.

Greek coastguards have a robust policy for dealing with intercepted invaders in small boats. They toss them into the sea and invite them to sink or swim back to where they came from, or so we are told.

Now we can be told
Back in 2020, a Swiss company created a transparent face mask to help people who need to lip-read communicate with friends who don't know sign language.
   Why didn't we see the masks here? Because the bank-robbing community nobbled the EFU commission and prevented the Swiss from Xporting their masks.
p.s. Did we ever thank the Labour party for wishing the Chinese plague on us as one of its attempts to wreck the economy whilst the Tories were in charge of it?

“If Bier Smarmer really did have a 'stellar' legal career, what's he doing messing about in party politics with the rest of the deadlegs?” Sleekit Wullie

Announcement The Millennium Dome Bomber Saga The Romiley Literary Circle Legacy Editions team is working on a book & a PDF version to accompany the online extravaganza, which has been in the Romiley Literary Circle website (see Stories) for a decade or so. Pertinent for the moment: The MDB concludes his final message to the nation with the following statement of justification:    "If a government uses the instruments of power in its hands for the purposes of leading a people to ruin, then rebellion is not only the right but also the duty of every individual citizen." Something for everyone to remember when a Labour government gets too uppity & blatant with its predations on the national purse.

It looks like BS and that Farage bloke are in competition to make the bigger idiot of themselves. Bier reckons O.J. Corbynstein, with him as deputy PM of course, would have done a better job than President Boris.
   And Nige is just as bad if he wants us believe that the EFU and NATO twisted his arm and forced poor old Putin the Poisoner into attacking Ukraine. Wot next?
“They're getting severe competition from the Just Stopper nutters, who are claiming that using coal, oil & gas will kill millions of people. Utter bollocks, of course, but wot else can you Xpect from nutters like them, Greenarse Grotter, etc.?” Syn Ister

Start The Week with Sherie
“There will be no levelling up with Bier Smarmer around, just down & out.” K. P.
“Just as well the Trivials aren't going to be the next government. What other horrors would Eddie Gravy, the Post Office minister who Let Horizon Happen inflict on us?” Indy Rekt
“Could it be worse than what the Smarmer Gang has in store for us?” Rajah Crumpled
“Which includes another Horizon Hero in BS, let us not forget.” Excess Bicep
“Do we have any gold reserves left? We won't after Reevesie gets her mitts on them and does a Gordon F. Broon on them.” Sergeant Stunner
“What we need is a test of political vocabulary that politicians & wannabes have to pass. That way, we wouldn't have to put up with BS not knowing what working people are, despite tossing them around gaily. And what a woman is.” S. Pedistra

Week 3 ended in Regina, Susquatchewan
The TigerCats fumbled away the kick off! Quick TD for the RoughRiders. The Cats did nothing with a pick in the 9th minute. Another home team TD in the 12th minute, 0-14.
   Add a FG to close Q!, 0-17. And a rouge from a punt in the 7th minute of Q2, 0-18. Finally, a bomb pass by Mitchell to the RR end zone, TD for the Cats, 7-18 with 2 minutes to half time. Trevor Harris was dinged, off. Almost a TD for the Riders, just a missed FG try to end the half.
   In Q3, the Cats got to the RR 5, only to fumble the ball away. Rain falling and there's a lightning warning. A pick gave the Riders a TD with a minute of Q3 left, 7-25. Another at the end of Q3 went to a FG 5 minutes in to Q4, 7-28. The Cats managed a TD in the 9th minute, 14-28.
   A charge! from the TC 1 then a rouge from a punt put the Riders 14-36 up in the 13th minute. A great pass play gave the Cats a TD, 21-36 and not much time left. A scrum for the on-side kick gave the ball to the Cats! But a pick settled their hash.

Also back in 2020, during the Chinese plague's rampant era, we were supposed to be having a Cultural Revolution. Anyone notice it?
“I certainly don't recall any dense clouds of smoke from fascist/communist book burnings.” Packet Tin

Today’s Question:
Do the LGM** & the LGBT communities have much in common?
[**Little Green Men (from Mars). Also Grey Alien fans. Ed.]

Sabotage by any means
Labour is planning to stealth tax the UK farming industry out of Xistence as part of its plan to rejoin the EFU's Common Agriculture Policy, even though we will be left with Nett Zero agriculture here.
   The intention is clearly to make the UK a client for coddled & overcharging Europeon farmers.

The silly woman who complained on the ITV Coronation show last year that the gang on the Buck House balcony were terribly white managed only 10th place in the list of most complained about broadcasts.
   Where do they dig up people like that?

Reality checks for BS
1. He came from a double income family. Is he now blaming his lack of touch with financial reality on his parents living above their means & being unable to make ends meet because of it?
2. On the one hand, there are fears that a Labour government will wreck everything. On the other is the observation that Smarmer is so given to U-turns & dithering that nothing will actually happen.
   But this applies only until the half-Left bins BS in favour of someone Corbynsteinier.

We are constantly told that the Hamas carried out the biggest massacre of Jews since World War 2. Israel's response has been to kill 30 times more Palestinians than the October 7th total; with more to come.
   Strange that this number is not being ranked by the news services in the record of massacres of Palestinians.

Definitely not on our side
It would appear that the Supreme Court is in the clutches of legal trade members who are long on wonkism and prethetically short on understanding the basics of science & finance.
   Why else would they be trying to prevent drilling for oil in and around the UK where there's so much of it going on elsewhere in the world?
   The rest of the world is dealing in millions & even billions. They are doing pointless nit-picking over fractions of a single unit.
   Alternatively, the Supremes are the sort of hard-Lefties who hate Britain and are prepared to do anything they can to prevent the country from thriving.
   Or it could just be a combination of both.

Another theme from Sherie
“Whenever someone claims that something like using solar power at music events can help mitigate climate change, I put it in perspective by imagining an ant; a tiny, little one; standing next to an elephant; the biggest one that Africa can offer.” Indy Cayshun
“Alternatively, you can picture a sardine; a tiny, little one; swimming near a blue whale; the biggest one on offer.” Tam Genial
“Which makes the Supreme Court's attempts to end oil & gas production in the UK even more out of touch with the real world.” L.S. Critical

No time to ponder
Mr. Farage from the garage is upset with the vetting firm, which allowed some people with unpopular and even crazy views to become Reform plc election candidates.
   Worried about losing your position as the party's chief eccentric, Nige?
“Nice of Mr. Farage to tell us that Reform plc isn't about anything in particular. Couldn't be arsed to do a manifesto. CBA to come up with policies based on reality.” Krovni Thal

Those who want to know what a mess a one-party state under Labour control will look like are advised to look northwards @ the mess the SNP has made over almost 2 decades after displacing Labour.
   Scotland can't Xist without subs from English taxpayers. Where will BS get his subs from after the rich have abandoned ship? Not the EFU, that's for sure.
   What's going on in Labour-controlled Wales is another warning.

Israeli troops are collecting flak for letting themselves be photographed driving around with a wounded Palestinian strapped to their jeep like a hunting trophy.

It's not just farmers who have to worry about a Labour government. The UK fishing industry will be wiped out after BS gives the EFU a free pass to hoover up everything in our coastal waters.
A top 20 of Britain's favourite pieces of scenery, compiled by a vehicle manufacturer, has triggered the usual shower of complaints from those let out. No surprise there.
Something else the police and/or the Can't Prosecute Service are ignoring is attacks with acids & other corrosive chemicals. 1,244 cases reported in 2023, hardly any prosecutions, no one that surprised.

Tech that goes flop
McDonuts has had to scrap the A.I. system used to take spoken orders from customers after it decided that sticking a rasher of bacon into a helping of ice cream is a good idea, and so is showering the customers with heaps on unordered chicken nuggets.

The Institute for Fiscal Studies has found a £4 BILLION Brown Hole in Labour's social care plan. No one surprised.

Havoc by design
The state of Maryland in the Untied States has cancelled 175,000 convictions for cannabis use. The governor thinks it will give the pot-heads a fresh start. Probably straight back to their dealer for most of them.
   The move is seen as an attempt by the Democrap governor to hoover up of colour votes as the OCs tend to be less discreet in their drug use and more liable to be busted.
Legalizing cannabis led to a 30% leap in the crime rate in other US states.
Bier Smarmer is claiming that he won't go soft on drugs. That's yet another 'firm' pledge from Mr. U-Turn.

Leadership Support Stakes:
Snackstabber = 17%
Smarmer = 38%
None of the above = 45%

Thoughts from the fringe
G. Galloway of the Workers plc of GB Xpects BS to get us into a war by December of this year, if given the chance.
   This would be BS demonstrating his superiority over his mentor by doing in 6 months what t.b. liar took 6 years to achieve.
Mr. Galloway also makes the valid point that t.b. liar turned patriotism into a dirty word and there are far too many people around who don't know if they are men or women. A clear failing of the education Blob.

It is difficult to reconcile the tale that we're living in abject poverty with the accounts of teenagers being able to vape in amounts that alarm medical Xperts.

Migrant trafficking gangs are working hard in Xisting migrant colonies in the UK to hoover up postal votes to ensure a Labour win in the election and a consequent HUGE surge in their business.

Q: Is the Labour plan to do a revaluation just an Xcuse to shove Council Tax up?
A: The majority opinion is yup.
Q: What do you do if you're a Labour election candidate & someone notices you're in Putin the Poisoner's pocket?
A: Claim your FakeBuk account was hacked.
Q: What does Reform plc do when its creatures go off the reservation?
A: Take no bloody notice and/or play the freedom of speech card.
Q: Didn't you once have a lot to say about someone called Mhegan the Muciloid?
A: Ever since she was banned from entry into the UK, we haven't had to take any notice of her attention-seeking antics.

Sherie with some Group Think
“The thing about BS is that he's a lying git and too arrogant to be bothered about everyone knowing it.” Ax Hatchett
“The best description we have of BS is that he's an A.I. without the I.” Blure Rex
“Or one like the binned McDonuts A.I., which thought bacon went with ice creams and did chicken nuggets with everything.” Spars Ibo

Back home again
A Chinese space mission; paid for by the UK overseas aid budget; has returned rock samples from the far side of the Moon. Nothing terrifically different is Xpected from samples collected in the 1970s by the Apollo programme. But the propagandists will do their little best to confect something wonderful.

Reality is biting the bum of current SNP honcho J. Swinney. He's not convinced that Scotland could survive as an independent nation cut off from the largess of English taxpayers.

Death Doctors’ Strike 11, Day One
First, do as much harm as you can manage right before a general election.
Totally pointless, will achieve nothing, but who the hell cares?

1. The Labour Magic Money Tree now has a neighbour in the Corbynstein Fantasy Orchard—a Magic People Tree, which will provide all the coppers, teachers, nurses, care workers, etc. that BS is promising to conjure out of thin air.
2. As well as not being an ideas man, BS doesn't have a clue how the world works. That's why he doesn't know the difference between male & female, and why he parrots phrases like ‘working class' without having any idea what they mean.
3. Lest we forget, the doublethink merchant Sirkreepy Steamer, back in 2020, was moaning @ the government for not unlocking the schools closed by the Chinese plague whilst backing the teaching unions, which didn't want to go back to work. You turn if you want to, so he did.

The BierBC announced in a job advertisement that it was keen to employ people who identify as dead. Nett Zero applicants. Then someone spotted the spelling mistake. The BierBC really wanted someone who identifies as deaf.
   To do what?
   To be an assistant producer for music shows.
“Probably an asset if crap rap is ever involved!” N. Oisy

A gang of 3 Pal Pals got away with it after being busted on public order charges because they made pests of themselves outside the home of BS. Just suspended sentences.

Cowboy home insulation firms which installed defective sprayed foam in lofts are hoping for a second helping of loot by offering a removal service.

Believe it or what? – ‘or what' wins!

Labour has an ally in its plan to end agriculture in the UK and import all our food from Yourope at fancy EFU prices—the Warmists.
   Their activities are removing essential carbon compounds from agricultural land & turning it into infertile clay.

The antics of the gender ideologists are getting the blame for a huge increase in sexual harassment & bullying @ UK schools, and a new normal of a rape per day. Why? Because a great number of schools are ignoring the law and laying themselves open to being sued by pupils & parents.

The New BS Orthodoxy
When he assured us in TWO general election campaigns that O.J. Corbynstein would be a brilliant prime monster, what Bier Smarmer was actually doing was inviting everyone to take a close look at Corby and decide he's a deadleg. Which would make it much easier for Bier to stab him in the back and take over his job.
   Cue a chorus of: "Lying bastard!" clap-clap, clap, clap-clap.

A few years ago, the catastrophists were yelling that we're about to have an action replay of the mega-tsunami which washed away the land bridge linking Britain to continental Yourope. Any sign of it yet?
“That would definitely make the eyes of the boat-bugger illegals water!” Canoe Radical

The more properly informed material one reads about the Supreme Court's sabotage of the oil & gas industry, the more ludicrous the grounds for it become.
   They are now at the point where the judges could be convicted of bringing the institution into disrepute & contempt. If the legal trade could be relied upon to do an honest day's work. Joke.

Horse Helmets needed when near them?
The dangers of being around horses have been confirmed by one of them putting Princess Anne in hospital with concussion after headbutting her. A full recovery of HRH is Xpected in due course.

Death Doctors’ Strike 11, Day Two
Wadda we want: Everything going.
When do we want it? Twenty years ago.

A new poll predicts that Labour will win 670 seats at the general election.

Smart by name, Smartarse by nature
Our local Trivial candidate, L. Smart, has had to make a grovelling apology for slagging off Scousers. When out doorstepping, she made the basic political blunder of being filmed making offensive remarks to a woman from Liverpool, origin of the Conservative candidate, P. Athans.

More “Science to Ignore”
The stellar physics community has known for ages that stars Xplode & chuck out vast amounts of carbon when they evolve into a white dwarf. This carbon cascades into the atmosphere of planets like Earth & Venus, hoovers up oxygen and becomes carbon dioxide & causes gorbal warmage.
   How this can be stopped is something for which the carbon criminals have nothing on offer. Any more than the ones in the UK have to offer about the thousands of coal-fired power stations outside Europe.

Enterprising England football fans parked in Cologne for the World Cup openers have found that an overnight stay in Europe's biggest brothel is cheaper than the rip-off rates being charged by the city's hotels.
[I hope the broth is up to standard. Ed.]

Could Putin the Poisoner be Xpecting a walkover when he finally gets round to invading us, but he's putting it off until after the Supreme Court rules that fighting off invaders would be illegal because of the amount of greenhouse gases produced by the weapons?

Q: Is there an idiocy which the Labour party will not embrace?
A: There is no evidence to suggest this is not true.

Today’s “Now You Know!”
Why are Labour and the Warmists conspiring to wipe out the farming industry in the UK? To make vast tracts of land available for building council houses for all the migrants Labour intends to allow to flood into the UK.

Is it worth the effort?
If you pay a lot for a sun screen preparation, the chances are it won't keep you unburnt to the degree claimed.
   If you buy a cheap brand, it will probably do what's claimed.
   If in doubt, stay out of sunshine when it's scorchio.

Today’s Question:
Will a Labour party with a massive majority be disciplined & united? Or will it end up with various factions fighting like rats in a sack, knowing there's nothing anyone can do about it?

that Putinstan is trying to blame the recent Islamist terror attacks on police officers and religious establishments in Dagestan on Ukraine & NATO rather than Islamic State.

Vin as in dictive
Bier Smarmer is suspected of being planning to keep young people off the housing ladder to increase the supply of subsidized accommodation available to immigrants.
   It is known that he wants to end the right to buy scheme for council houses to prevent scum like Angrier Raygun from making money out of it.

Not to be outdone by McDonuts, Gooble came up with an A.I. which concluded that glue would be a great garnish for pizza and ‘eat a rock a day' gives real health benefits. Cute.

WEEK 5    “Do you want cheese with that whine, Mr. Smarmer?”

 
Death Doctors’ Strike 11, Day Three
A two-day working week
Is two days too many & grossly unfair.

Labour sez: "We will forge"
Dictionary sez: "forge—to counterfeit for the purposes of fraud"
Sounds about right!

Esso petrol 143.9p/litre in Romiley.
Esso diesel 148.9p/litre.
Another modest drop.

One of the Reform plc candidates has blown the whistle on what BS is up to. He's using the Narzi tactic of promising everything to everyone to appeal to the whole span of the political spectrum.

Shirking @ Home increases worker satisfaction but has no effect on productivity, Xperts have decided. Their study also found that workers would be prepared to take a 10% pay cut for the privilege of being a home shirker, which would do something about the productivity situation.

The Edmonton Antlers went to Vancouver
Just a rouge from the EA opener. A FG in the 9th minute put them 4-0 ahead. One for the BC Lions in the 13th minute, 4-3. A bomb pass by Adams set up a TD pass in Q2, 4-10.
   One back for the Antlers in the 7th minute, 11-10. Another single from a punt, 12-10. A FG for the Lions to close the half @ 12-13.
   A pick stopped the Q3 opener of the Ants. BC got close but fumbled, the Ants got the last touch before the ball went out of bounds and restarted at their 4. To the BC 1, Charge! 18-13. Same story for BC in the 13th minute, +2, 18-21. 45 yard FG for the Ants, 21-all. Whyte from 42 yards, 21-24. Groan.

"Character is the only secure foundation of a state," former US President C. Coolidge told his nation. And there's BS with not a shred of it in his entire miserable carcase.

A quick shriek from Sherie
“How learned in the law is someone who deliberately makes up their own version of it to suit some twisted personal political agenda?” F. Rolik
“Just Stopper judges infesting the Supreme Court? Bier Smarmer PM (until he's binned by the Corbynsteiners). Do they still do those £10 assisted passages to Australia?” Colin Card

Next up, the Als in T’ronno
Defences ruled at the start. The Argos were stopped and the Als failed on a 3rd & 1. A 7th minute FG for the Argonauts opened the scoring. Fajardo to Philpot, TD, 7-3.
   Boot again to end Q1, 7-6. One for the Als, 10-6. A punt return to midfield set up a FG to close the half at 13-6.
   What looked like a TD pass was knocked away in the end zone, just a FG for the Als, 16-6. One for the TA, 13-9. Bang! Fajardo to Speker for a TD. 23-9. Another FG for the Argos, 23-12. The Argos picked an end-zone pass to start Q4. Nothing from it.
   A FG try by the Als missed. A pick got them close, on to a TD, 30-12. The Argos managed a TD with a minute left, +2, 30-20 final.

So much for +2 deg.C = catastrophe
What the Warmist criminals don't want us to know is that it is not as warm now as it was when the Romans took over England & Wales for 500 or so years. That that was a time of prosperity, during which agriculture flourished and there was a much bigger wine industry than we have now.

Whatever happened to the plan to 3-D print things that look like chicken snacks using a protein gunk brewed up in Putinstan?

Today’s Question:
A commissary—is that where the commies hang out?

Today’s Other Question:
Is putting a bet on the month when the next general election will be held as bad as gaming the right-to-buy scheme for fun & profit?

Death Doctors’ Strike 11, Day Four
About chanted out, time to start playing the recordings.
No one is listening anyway.

Off to Calgary for the Blue Bombers
All defence to start. The first score was a FG for the BB in the 11th minute. One for the Stampeders to start Q2, 3-all. A tipped pass gave the ball to the Stamps. Out on a 3rd & 2 trying a TD pass from the BB 16. 2 & a sack on Collards stopped the Bombers.
   A single from a punt put the Stamps 3-4 up in the 6th minute pf Q2. Collards flattened, FG, 6-4. A mugging pick gave the ball back to the BB, FG, 9-4. A short FG by the Stamps closed the half at 9-7.
   The Stamps went ahead in the 5th minute of Q3 with a FG, 9-10. Punt for a single, 9-11. The Stamps drove into Q4, TD in the 3rd minute, 9-18. Castillo kicked a 59-yard FG! 12-18. Another single, 12-19. The Bombers managed a TD in the last minute to level the scores at 19, OT.
   The Stamps stopped the BB with an end zone pick and got a 15-yard penalty & a long field. Paredes with a 52-yard FG and the win, 19-22 final.

NATO leaders past & present are not amused by N. Farage's decision to park in Putin the Poisoner's pocket & try to blame them for Putrid's attack on Ukraine. Which just makes Farage look as useless as Mr. U-Turn Smarmer.
Mr. Farage from the garage has offered to conduct Ukraine's ‘peace' negotions with Putinstan so that President Zelensky doesn't get the blame for selling out his entire country rather than several pieces of it.
There are nutters among us who think that posting video of themselves shitting in the lake @ the PM's Yorkshire home will stop genocide. Four of them were busted for their disgusting act of Xhibitionism. No doubt a court will administer a token wrist-slap in due course.

A Tale that will Fail
BS is frantically denying that Labour is planning to pave over the countryside; which is likely to be true.
   Using paving stones is too costly and he'll have to resort to tarmac—made using petrochemicals bought from Putinstan? Which means that as well as all the roads full of potholes, we'll end up with an ex-countryside which has suffered the same fate.

Today’s Question:
If you've changed your gang of nutters for a different sort of nutter, is that anything to brag about?

The words most commonly associated with the Labour party now include pernicious.

“Our friend Reevesie, out of a proper job @ the Bonk of England & now in politics, is a sad flop. The clincher is her confession that as a teenager, she didn't have pop star posters on her bedroom walls, she just had one of Gordon F. Broon, a.k.a. The Mugger.” Eric Python
About all she can claim in mitigation is that she stopped being a teenager in 1999. Before The Mugger took a balanced economy into a £1,000 BILLION Brown Hole and let all the banks go bust.

“The more you see of what the usual suspects are calling hard-Right policies, the more you realize it's right in the sense of correct.” Corporal Handgrenade
“Which makes Smarmer's Army of Bremoaners & Climate Criminals & other deadlegs the far-Wrong? Yep, that scans.” Hek Hajem
“Bier Smarmer to crack down on knife crime? Yeah, right.” 4 Nickator

Below the line mission statement: Some of the above is true. BFN is recognized as a premiere class observational blog and a multiple winner of the OB of the Year award.
   We are constantly exposed to dodgy conclusions drawn from dodgy data by the 'experts', especially those found in the world of politics and especially those at the Treasury and in opposition and running trade unions.
   Some of us civilians at BFN like to join in to let them know that anyone can do it and we ain't impressed by their efforts.

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Created for Romiley Anarchists' League by workers in revolt against oppression to set the record straight in the 3rd millennium. © RAL, June MM24 like anyone cares.