WEEK 1    Putin the ‘orate’ into expectorate

 

Labour's plan to reconstruct British Rail will end up costing the taxpayer so many BILLIONs that the Armed Forces will have to be abolished.
   That's the cost of leasing all the rolling stock currently owned/leased by private rail companies and the cost of letting the rail unions run riot in the public purse.
[In order to increase their bungs to the Labour party to encourage more of the same. Ed.]

Mirth for the Masses
Video clips of Humbug Useless falling off his scooter and denouncing everyone in a senior position in Scotland for being white in a mega-bugger raysist whinge are getting a good airing to celebrate his eviction.
   Not that anyone Xpects the SNP to come up with someone else who isn't a disaster area, given its record for picking leaders.
   "All the clever ones come to Westminster and all the duffers stay at home," sez the prophet Ree-Smogg.

Creaky Joe has given the online video outfit TiqToq 9 months to shed its Chinese connection on national security grounds, following Europeon leads. If the Chinese owners don't sell TT to someone more acceptable in the window, it will be banned in the Untied States.

One of them there polls claims that three-quarters of Britisch adults won't be taking a dip in the sea this summer to avoid being contaminated by sewage. Which is garbage as a majority of the UK's population won't be taking a seaside holiday here, therefore the ishue is irrelevant to them.

Dave the ex-Leader is under the delusion that Brexit caused the flood of cross-Channel migrants. Which is an Xplanation for why Dave the Deluded is an ex!

The Snackstabber reckons the Rwanda plan is working. It's driving dodgy migrants south into the Republic of Ireland from Ulster! And doing a good job of upsetting our enemies in Southern Ireland & other parts of the EFU.

It is being stressed yet again that the number of transpicaters that came out of the 2021 national census is tripe, codswallop & totally bogus.
   A vast & contrived over-estimate, the Xperts are still saying in the hope that they will be believed this time around.
The Office of Notional Sadistics is getting another good booting for knowingly making a total bog of the wording of the census questions.

Raster “GO FASTER”
The Super Energy pill
100% Natural and certified Non-Toxic ingredients
Raster of Romiley, 72b Riverside Drive

As well as those who are openly Jewish, the Met also arrests people with a St. George's Cross flag for being openly English. Curious that this never happens to anyone with an Alky Ida or swastika flag. But that's down to the woke, weak clones that 13 years of New Labour installed in the top ranks of police farces.

Refugee from the real world
If the boss of Oxfam in Scotland is claiming that anything done there has the slightest effect on the global climate, what does that tell us about Oxfam and its contact with reality?
   Dig deeper and it turns out that Oxfam is saying 'give us the money' and it's on the side of climate criminals & their 'tax everything in sight' policy. Which ain't Xactly charitable.

Q: Did the Balls-Cooper woman really call the Rwanda Plan a bat's hat?
A: Something like that.
Q: Did Angular Robot call the PM a pint-size loser?
A: We're still trying to work out if that's worse than a Two-Homed loser.

The decision of New Labourized police farces to ignore theft from retail premises & assaults on staff in shops & stores is costing the industry; and therefore the customers; a guesstimated two billion quid per year, data from the Office for Notional Sadistics shows.

Reality’s painful bite!
A tissue manufacturer, enjoying the virtue glow of ditching the label Man Size in favour of Xtra Large, is reported to have dabbled with the idea of offering boxes of Trans Size tissues to the millions and millions of transpicaters.
   But when someone pointed out that the number of possible starting points and the number of possible destination points means that hundreds of pack sizes would be needed, the idea was quietly binned & forgotten.

The speculaters are wondering if a Smarmer government would keep Lord Dave the ex-Leader & arch-Remoaner on as Foreign Sec. because he is as iggorant & useless as any of Smarmer's Army.

++ Labour tells us a load of craptrap about re-nationalizing railways ++ Trade unions cheer ++ Shares in a firm selling tickets online plunge 12% ++ Nuff said ++

Lateral thinking & spin are all that are needed
Botswana has an overpopulation problem with 150,000 wild elephants within its borders. Outraged by a proposed UK ban on bringing hunting trophies home, the honcho there is threatening to send 10,000 elephants to Hyde Park.
   But how's he going to get them here? They're a bit big for small boats and does anyone really think our Border Farce would be able to move them across to its aquatic taxis when the elephants reach our mid-Channel border?
[Flying them over and dropping them by parachute is another obvious non-starter. Especially if the RAF is liable to zap the hostile intruders. Teleportation, anyone? Ed.]
“It's not a ban on going out with an armed escort and blowing away a big bit of wildlife, it's just a ban on bringing bits home. Which could be seen as an advantage and an inconvenience from which the hunter is spared with the right spin applied.” Brown Find

Internal Rumble
Labour's Chancellor wannabe, R. Reeves, has grotted on former shop steward A. 'Two Homes' Robot's plan to put the unions in charge of everything and let them stick a hand in every pocket. La Reeves is trying to position herself as someone un-Labour and responsible & grown up.

The H. Wheensteen trial in Los Angeles was as much a railroad job as the one in Noo Yawk, and will have to be redone. To the delight of the lawyers, who will be able to dip their bread again.
No judge is ever sacked for causing a gross miscarriage of justice.

When in doubt, do something else daft
Having been booted vigorously for charging 6 quid for a pair of posh egg & cress butties, Marks & Sparks has responded with a cheeseburger pasta salad that unloads a massive 755 calories on the customer.
   For those who want a salad (wimpy) that tastes like a burglar (heroic, non-veggie).

Gulp! Even Angular Two Homes Robot's father doesn't believe she didn't game the system for personal profit.

Attention clout-casters!
May be out. That's hawthorn trees are in flower in Romiley, for the benefit of those without a grasp on English folklore.

Who's responsible for all the knife crime in London? The cosmetic mayor, Sadgeek K'han't, would have us believe that he has done all the can [weren't bloody much, were it? Ed.] and it's all down to parents not searching their little monsters for machetes & other bladed weapons before they let them out of the house.

Bier Smarmer sez the Scots should make him their First Meenister as he is their natural leader.
[In his dreams, Ed.]

It's all very well to say having more armed police officers around, as in the Untied States, would fundamentally change our police forces but our society had been changed fundamentally in the last several decades.
   There are more nutters around armed with knives, swords & guns, and more Islamist terrorists, and personal responsibility has gone up on the bonfire of entitlement & wokeness. Which is why US universities need visits from the police and the National Guard to clear out the occupying scumbags.
   Shooting dead someone posing a lethal threat to others will upset only the lawyers done out of trial fees and far-Left politicians done out of their voters. And also the usual snivellers, who want bad guys to be allowed to run riot coz it's their 'uman effin' right to do so and to hell with the people in the middle, who end up dead at the hands of the scumbags

Do we have to worry about 3,500 missing migrants if we're not having to shell out MILLIONs to give the scrounging bastards food & shelter?

Dump and Run Plan
The Irish (Southern) government would like to be able to arrest unwanted migrants, load them in chains into furniture vans, drive them across the border to Ulster & dump them there.
   But the justice minister was unable to come up with a response to the question: "What if they just walk back across the border to your side as soon as you take the shackles off?"
The Irish High Court ruled in April that the UK is not a safe place to send bogus asylum seekers 'coz of the Rwanda Plan. But maybe no one has mentioned this to the Irish justice minister.
“Has anyone mentioned that there's no hope of an amicable agreement with the UK when there's only hostility on her side?” Marr Shlart

On-The-Job training
Labour's Chancellor wannabe, R. Reeves, seems to have decided that the best way to start her crusade against cronyism is to wallow in it herself and find out what it's all about.
   Accepting freebies & donations from people after public sector jobs, e.g. the cosmetic mayor of somewhere, is the starting point.

Can’t touch you for it!
A Christian fanatic and a bloke who rejected Islam are being tarred with the far-Right brush just for wanting to burn a copy of the Q'ran @ Malmo in Sweden on the day before the Eurovision Song Contest.
The request is likely to be granted as Q'ran arson is not an offence under Swedish law and it has been done before in Stockholm.
“If it's legal, why do they have to ask permission from the police to do it?” Kaz Akstan
[Probably so the police can deploy the riot squad to deal with the inevitable Islamists Xercising their imaginary right to run riot wherever they choose. Ed.]

Notional ’Elf taxi service
Thanks to trade union militancy & loss of the work ethic, family doctors are now officially Xtinct. A patient seeing the same GP twice running is now in the realm of the miraculous.

Keep your eyes on the numbers
If Tory voters stay at home during the local & other elections, and the Labour vote is much the same, or even much reduced, that will be claimed as a swing to Labour by professional liars in the ‘news' meeja.
   It's what they do.

The Conservative vote in the Blackpool South pariamentary constituency went down from 16,247 in 2019 to 3,218 in this month's by-election. The Labour vote also went down from 12,557 in 2019 to 10,825 this month. Not exactly a great show of enthusiasm for Labour if their vote fell, despite all the claptrap from the news meeja.

Fraudulent Mathematics
“The election result in Blackpool South wasn't a swing, or anything else, TO Labour. Compared to 2019, the Labour vote was DOWN 17% and the voter turn-out was about half. Tory supporters didn't bother, knowing they'll have to do it again later in the year. And there is clearly no great enthusiasm for Starrmer's Army.
   “Numbers don't lie, just the people abusing them.” Inability Brown

The NHS is wasting a ludicrous amount of time on thinking about banning the ludicrous woke BS of ‘chestfeeding'. But that's the Notional 'Elf Service for you.

Esso petrol 149.9p/litre in Romiley.
Esso diesel 156.9p/litre.
Small drop in diesel.

Q: Remind us, which side demanded an open border in Ireland during the Brexit negotions? Was it the EFU?
A: How did you guess!
Things beginning with an ‘H' associated with the EFU begin with hippocrisy and Xclude honesty. How triffic.

Q: What does Wee Sterney Burgeon kno about free speech?
A: What does a crocodile kno about Chopin? About the same.

Strong on Strategy
The Reform UK plan for small boats is to get the Royal Navy to nudge them back in the direction of France, and if the invasion barge starts to sink, to give the occupants a replacement dinghy. Boarding it will be their problem.
   And if that starts to sink as well, the whole gang of invaders should be left to drown, according to Reform honcho Mr. B. Habib.
“If the Channel suddenly fills up with sharks feasting on migrant corpses, no doubt that will be blamed on gorbal warmage.” Esslam Dunk

President Creaky Joe's enslavement by transpicaters & their weirdness has created a new gender—non-Bidenary.

Today’s word: ultracrapidarian
n. definition of most politicians

Sherie does a theme
“A bloke in Romiley was complaining in the Daily Disaster that no one has been blamed for the Grenfell Tower fire, which was 7 years ago. How about the bloke with dodgy fridge that started the blaze?” Dorkk Matter
“You can't blame the cladding. Its job was thermal insulation, which it did. It was perfectly safe until set ablaze. Which can be used as an argument for shutting down all libraries. All that highly inflammable paper in an enclosed space . . .” Bentine Comotion

The Southern Irish government is sabotaging the peace process by sending armed guards to the border with Ulster.
   Wot rotters they are.

The notion that "Slavery made Britain rich" is just something invented by scroungers, who are trying to steal money from us using brain-dead politicians. As for the idea that anything they manage to steal will trickling down to benefit their subjects . . . joke!

Our Snackstabber Prime Monster does not approve of the choking effect of the cancel culture. Bier Smarmer has yet to come out of his bunker on the subject but he is Xpected to be 99.99% against it to give himself some wriggle room in case oppressers want to donate cash to a lawyer for his services.

Why does the Manchester CO-OP LIVE super-duper new concert arena keep failing safety checks just before a sell-out gig?
   Could it be inevitable with Jonah ‘The Wrecker' Burnham sitting the cosmetic mayor's office, bringing nothing but Bad Karma For All?

Universities across the Untied States are being systematically wrecked by Islamist terrorists.
Dublin has been turned into a pavement tent city by bogus asylum seekers who don't want to end up in Rwanda.
Here in the Yew Kay, the usual suspects' answer to the migration ishue is an ‘Office of Migration'. That's more snivel servants shirking @ home and not doing the job they're overpaid to do.

Not before time
The Royal Mail has been forced to stop stealing a fiver from people who get a letter with a Chinese fake stamp on it. The Daily Disaster is claiming the credit for this. And also demanding that those with a lawn cut it only once in May to encourage weeds (mainly dandelions). bees & buttterflies [sic].
   There is also some of the usual BS about biodiversity & climate egermencies tacked on to the campaign by third parties.

Deserve vs actually get
The Scots deserve less clueless leadership, pontificated a newspaper leader writer. Shame there's none on offer. Labour used to make a bog of things north of the border before the SNP became the natural party of government there.
   A. Salmonella, Wee Burney and H. Useless stomped all over that notion. And one has only to take a brief peek @ Wales, where a Labour-run Ssennedd is making a complete bog of everything, to know that Anass Aahwaa, the Scottish Labour leader, ain't the answer.

Q: What is Humbug Useless' record in office?
A: He holds the record for being the only Scottish Transport Minister to have been busted for driving without insurance.

The wheels have come off the Icelandic former Teashop's no-border legacy in Ireland. Mr. L. Verruka's pride & joy is now a burden on the Southern Republic and the rotten Englisch are not being helpful to the Pals of the IRA.
   Well, whoda thunk it? Apart from everyone, of course.
“What a terrible shame that once they're in the EFU, boguses have the right to travel to any of the member states, including Southern Ireland. But no right to travel to a non-member, such as the Yew Kay.” Bat E. Balls

Dave the ex-Leader is being accused of having a carbon footprint the size of Mount Everest. The amount of swanning around the world wearing his Foreign Sec. hat is as monstrous as it is pointless.

Bier Smarmer is happy enuff about Dave's swanning as it gives his serfs something to moan about as a distraction from Labour's crimes against humanity.
His midget minion, Wee Streeting, meanwhile is wallowing in the political gutter as his method of distraction. He's trying to play the race, anti-white & Pal Pals cards. No one surprised.

Bank Holiday Monday started sunny and went grey. A reflection of all the bad news sloshing around?

Teenagers who do vaping are loading their body with cadmium, lead and uranium. Which is good news for the government as they probably won't be needing much in the way of pension pay-outs.
If you're a polis constabule, it's okay to beat up a bloke who shags your wife in a Screwfix car park, a court has decided.

Sherie does another theme; and a bit more
“If the state pension is not related to your contributions via National Insurance, etc., how come the new state pension is 50 quid per week more than the Osborne Swindle old pension? Not something the DHSS or the government is likely to Xplain.” Jedgar Roover
“Any chance of compenbloodysation for those swindled since 2016? Joke.” Souman Deller
“An actress, 55, nasty divorce as a matter of record, is complaining that she can't get any action from a dating crApp. She blames her age, I read before moving on. But maybe it's due to her history being too well known.” Deeon Maxley

Frustratingly for Smarmer's Army, colonies consisting of Moslems who have migrated here from Asia & the Middle East are not having anything to do with the native political parties.
   The incomers are Xpected to ignore local ishues and vote only for Islamists who are fully focussed on Gaza to the Xclusion of everything else.
This is particular ishue for Scotland, where the needs of the native people are being ignored thanks to the H. Useless shift of focus to migrants & Gaza.

Dosh News
A judge has awarded damages to a social worker whose right to freedom of speech was abused by Westminster Council and the quango Social Work England. Quel surprise!
The price of gold is soaring because China is buying it up ahead of its planned assault on Taiwan in 2027. This will allow bribes to be paid in gold rather than US dollars (which will become unavailable) to keep clients on-side.

Stealth still works
The enormously successful American comic J. Seinfeld has blamed the demise of TV comedy shows on the far-Left & their PC crap. Which is actually something we'd worked out for ourselves a good while ago, Jerry.
   But he does see a future for comedy in live shows staged beyond the dead grasp of the far-Left o'bliterbugs.

Crisis of Confidence
Bier Smarmer's claim that a Labour government would toughen the law on shoplifting is being received with derision. The lawyer clearly hasn't grasped that there are laws aplenty but the police are refusing to get off their arses and enforce them. So how much will even more unenforced laws achieve?

Routine Labour Omission
Historical Note: Before he became Greater Manchester's cosmetic Mayor, Jonah Burnam was the cosmetic police commissioner—at the time when GM police was put into administration for being unfit for purpose & the chief constable was sacked for being useless.
   Jonah's reward for causing the latest catastrophe [on top of Stafford Hospital, banks go bust, etc., Ed.] was to be made cosmetic mayor, leaving others to clear up the police mess. For which he is now claiming the credit. But that's what politicians do. And he'd rather the customers were not reminded of any of this.

Net&Yahool scratches his inner fascist by closing the Al Jazeera news outfit's presence in Israel. No pluralism & multiculturalism & opposition allowed.

Sherie puts the lid on them elections
“It's true. Giving another term as cosmetic mayor to Sadgeek K'han't confirms that Labour supporters would vote for Jack the Ripper, Adolf Hilter or Putrid the Poisoner if they were wearing a Labour rosette.” Cliff Endzone
“You have to wonder how sincere Moslem Green party candidates are if they're jumping up & down and yelling about their mate Akbar after being elected as councillors rather then indulging in any of the usual pointless ‘save the planet' tripe in a country that isn't causing the problems they're complaining about. Are we allowed to remember that green is the colour of choice of Islamist terrorists?” Ken Tuckitin
“There's an interesting thought. If Bier Smarmer sneaks into Downing Street, the country will be flooded with Palestinians and the Hamas will be regrouping here.” Beau Nafides
“See where the far-Left diversity agenda has gone. To Moslem dominated local councils making pointless demands about what's going on where the councillors come from @ the Xpense of local ishues. And just taking no notice of the rights & needs of the native population.” Merse I. Full

Today’s Question:
Is it far-Right to oppose the communists & far-Lefties who are trying to fill your homeland with infiltraitors who despise your values? Or is this stance just too far-reasonable for the wreckers & their meeja cronies to handle?

The Horizon Hero Eddie Gravy, Trivial honcho, sez the country has had enuff of the Snackstabber. Same with him, but is he going? Sure, he is. More gravy, Eddie? Paid for by everyone else, of course.

Today’s Other Question:
If an apostle is a follower, is an apistle one who's drunk and liable to lose his way?

“Increasing numbers of people are deciding that if something doesn't have a trigger warning, it's probably too woke & bland to be worth bothering with. But there are gems which escape the attention of the clottish censors. Which leaves us back at the delights & disappointments of suck it and see.” A.L.M.

Pointless Pronouncement
Bier Smarmer has announced that he's not going to flog a dead horse if the country is stoopid enuff to make him the prime monster. Cue a chorus of derisive remarks along the lines of: "That's his exercise programme abandoned!" and "No one would buy one off him anyway."

Electric cars have Nett Zero resale value after a few years. How come? The battery life is just 8 years and it can cost up to 40 bloody grand!! to get a replacement right now.
   Imagine how much that will be after China attacks Taiwan and becomes even more of a pariah state.

We can only agree with the assessment of Little John of the Daily Disaster that at the sharp end of police forces are officers who are prepared to put themselves in danger to protect the public and tackle armed criminals and demented killers with a samurai sword.
   And at the blunt end, collecting the big bucks for being in charge, are wonks & slaves of the far-Left and other brain-dead activists & politicians. And we know whom we'd like standing next to us when the trouble starts.

WEEK 2    Putin the ‘bung’ into bungalow

 
The much abused but desperately fashionable Xpression 'Trigger warning' is an anxiety trigger for those people who have been robbed @ gunpoint. It needs, therefore, to be used cautiously, we are assured by the clottish censors, cancel clowns and other Jam-Sandwich Jabronis.

Border Farce buggers up airports everywhere with buggy software.

Shirking @ Home is getting the blame for a levelling out in what was falling tobacco consumption and a reprieve for an unhealthy practice which was heading for Xtinction.

The animal rights outfit called Peta is to be banned as its name includes the word 'pet', which is a human abuse of the natural freedom of animals.

The NHS is doomed to collapse into an untidy heap, the Xperts have decided. Three-quarters of the stuff kids eat is unhealthy and will make them overwhelm the NHS completely when they seek treatment for their multitudinous ailments.

Veggies with many years of it under their belts are becoming carnivores because they are worried about the dangerous additives that are going into look-alike substitutes for meat products such as sausages & pork pies.
   The veggies now think that noshing ultra-processed foods will get in the way of their ambition to live forever.

How cheerful is this!
Whatever you do, don't live in a house, don't wash, don't use gadgets of any sort and don't eat foods.
   Why? Because the 'Xperts' reckon everything around us; cleaning products, electronic and other devices, foodstuffs, etc.; releases or contains toxins that will kill us stone dead!

Good Points
1. If bogus asylum seekers get to Southern Ireland via the UK, what's stopping the Teashop from sending them back to the EFU country they came from? Which is France, by the way. Probably that MacRon character.
2. "Hey, you know from Xperience what a daft twat he is but you still voted him back in. More fool you." [In the context of cosmetic mayors, Ed.]

The Scottish Greens are being blamed by a former honcho for collapsing the coalition with the SNP. The bloke's former party, he Xplained, is now in the clutches of misogynistic followers of the transpicater cult and shedding real women as fast as possible.

Not a choice, really
The Commons Leader, P. Mordor, who made a name for herself at King Chuck's coronation by lugging a huge sword around, had a laugh over the chat about her being installed in Downing Street to replace the Snackstabber current incumbent ‘like a new boiler'.
   Which raises the question of whether it is better to be likened to reliable, effective and fairly affordable technology like a gas boiler, or to the new, eco-acceptable technology of an electric heat pump, which is ineffective, unaffordable and liable to be cut off when the supply of electricity from occasionals fails to meet the demand.

An apt epitaph for Bier Smarmer, when we're finally rid of him, would be "The man who promised nothing and delivered the same".

Q: What do you get when students in the US throw a major wobbly?
A: A monstrous shit heap which, for sure, they won't offer to clear up or pay to get the job done.

Justice denied is S.O.P. for governments
The Xtinction rate of WASPI [Women Against State Pension Inequality] Women is quoted as one every 13 minutes. An estimate for the death rate of MASPI blokes comes out at one every 11.8 minutes.
   Surely a clear case for them to be given priority?

Today’s Question:
If the BierBC thinks a recipe for fatjitas is Good Food, does it also recommend slimjitas for dieters?

Structural Selectivity
University bosses are in trouble for being inclusive to Islamists but not to Jewish students. Diversity, it seems, can manage without those who aren't making a huge nuisance of themselves. Which is not good news for the police farces which have to stand and watch the nuisances in action if it encourages Jewish students to make their presence felt.

Manchester's cosmetic mayor, Jonah Burnham, has doomed the local housing industry. If he creates 10,000 council houses over however many years, 37% are Xpected to become uninhabitable slums after 6-8 years as a result of the dire and eternally disastrous Jonah Curse.

There was tremendous Xcitement on the BierBC yesterday with the climate catastrophists running round in circles & wetting themselves over a new world record for sea temperatures around Britain.
   The old record was 20.95 deg.C. It was SMASHED and totally shattered to bitz by . . . 20.96 deg.C????
   Where the bloody hell do they get these demented bozos?
“Ask yourself. If your morning cup of coffee is 0.01 deg.C warmer today than it was yesterday, would you even notice?” P.H. Uknose

Goes around . . .
Bier Smarmer's two visits to Harlow in Essex are getting the credit for Labour's failure to win back a council lost to the Tories in 2021.
On the other side of the fence, endorsement by President Boris & nett zero involvement of the Snackstabber are getting the credit for the Tory cosmetic mayor of Tees Valley keeping his job.

Today's scam call came from 01472 329 546 in Grimsby. A recorded voice with a train ticket to Edinburgh on your Visa card scam.

Permissible discrimination? Surely not!
If wearing a sombrero is cultural appropriation, why is wearing a big Arab scarf not grounds for shock & horror & condemnations?
   Or are we supposed to assume that Arabs don't have a culture & there is nothing to appropriate? Which sounds like grounds for a smack in the gob from an outraged real Arab, should there be one handy, for the appropriators given the enormous contribution Arab scholars made to scientific knowledge when Europe was barely civilized.

The wheels are about to come off the special needs kids industry. So many have been created that they have become unaffordable.

Stop putting uninvited invaders in taxpayer paid for hotels!

Q: If uninvited migrants cost the nation £14 BILLION per year now, would it be £28 BILLION under a Labour government?
A: 28 BILLION does seem to be a number which has a strange attraction for Labour stooges.
Q: What's a really bad idea?
A: Carrying a distinctive walking stick if you're a 71-year-old notorious thief of the eggs of wild birds. Unless you're lucky enuff never to be sent to gaol after being busted.

A crystal ball would have been useful
Could the Co-Op be regretting choosing Manchester as the home for its mega-arena for indoor concerts? All the ailments inflicted on it, like bitz of the air conditioning falling from ceilings, have the fingerprints of the Jonah Burnham curse on them.

Will they dare do it?
If Queers for Palestine got to Gaza, we have been advised, they are liable to be chucked off a 10-storey building by the Hamas. [Should there be any of that size left unblasted by the Israeli Death Force. Ed.] Which rather implies that their queerness gene is parked next to one for suicide! Mother Nature certainly works in mysterious ways.

Sounds like a plan
In the wake of recent events, it has been concluded that the most effective action against anti-Semmitism that the authorities in the Untied States can take is to close down all the universities.
Nothing has been heard from Creaky Joe Bidet on this subject as Silent Joe is hoping to get the yoof vote, scumbags & all, in November.

The RAC has done its sums & concluded that anyone having to pay more than 150p/litre for petrol or more than 157.8p/litre for diesel is being ripped off.
Retailers are being allowed to spike their profit margins well above long-term averages & the Competition & Markets Authority is accused of being in a coma.

Oh, dear. How sad. Never mind.
Dave the ex-Leader has upset Putin the Poisoner. In his capacity as Foreign Sec., Dave has given the Ukrainians permission to shoot missles sourced from the UK @ targets inside Putinstan to give the invading Putinis something to think about.
This follows hints by Pres. E. MacRon of France that he might send troops to Ukraine to help them fight the good fight.
The Putinstani War Ministry responded with hints that it might just bring forward its Conquer All Yourope plan if the interfering busy-bodies don't back off.

The Way It Is
According to one of the Daily Disaster's regular doctors, the NHS advises us to see a doctor if a cough lasts more than 3 weeks. So tack on another 4 weeks waiting before you actually get into the presence of a GP and that's the best part of a couple of months for the cough either to get better or become permanent and maybe lethal.

“One thing we won't have to waste time on if Bier Smarmer gets to be the prime monster is a honeymoon period. Everyone knows now that he's crap & so we'll be able to start beefing about his pathetic screw-ups from Day One.” Malc Ontent

Labour's Chancellor wannabe, R. Reeves, is being accused of gaslighting the electorate with yards of tripe and unfunded financial episodes.

“We’ve Had Enough”, yell the Trivials
"Bollocks!" yell the recipients, "you're never going to get your hands out of our pockets."
Fliers from the Trivials are always the same. They always tell us Labour has no chance here. We know, we bloody know.
   We also know that the Trivials are in charge of Stockport council, so what are they doing? Wasting our cash on diversity & other PC crap, on installing & removing speed bumps on the main road through Romiley, on overpaying the town clerk & the council minions, etc., etc.
   And there has to be a hymn of praise for the party leader, Eddie the Horizon Hero Gravy.
   Straight into the blue bin.
“Stockport council's Trivials closed the Romiley Forum Theatre in 2017 because of aeroconcrete and sat on their fat arses until the friends of the theatre and the local Tory activists forced them to hand out a contract for repairs. We've definitely had enuff of that.” Formy Kasid

Q: Will Labour sell the rest of us out to buy the Moslem vote?
A: Does a spider have 8 legs?
[Not if some nasty bastard pulls a few off. Ed]
Q: Is there enuff money in the world for Labour to buy every minority going?
A: If there isn't, they'll probably try to borrow it from the Martians or the Romulans or some other bunch of gullible aliens.

If the Smarmer Army are telling the deliberate lie that National Insurance funds the state pension and it's not just another tax on income, they can be relied on to lie about anything else. But hey! That's what the far-Left are for, using their truth-avoidance privilege.

Labour councils are ripping off owners of diesel cars shamelessly for permits to park in the street @ their home. The public health crisis from toxic air is the standard alibi for what can only be a crude cash grab if diesel vehicles can still be used as long as the owner pays up.
The depression industry is not amused by the revelation that having a long lie-in at the weekend has health gains and can keep people out of depressionists' clutches.
In the West Midlands, what was predicted did happen. Those who voted Reform got themselves stuck with Labour.
Making a claim for damage done by a dose of Chinese plague vaccine is a new growth industry. Some of those making cash out of the migration industry are feeling threatened enuff to consider jumping ship.

Groan
There is a move afoot to make the Chinese plague circus Xtend its remit to include the origin of the plague. Which should add another decade to the legal trade's gravy training. This is even though the Wuhan laboratory's rotten biosecurity is the known source.
   The extension is seen as an opportunity to bash government virus Xpert J. Farrar and his 26 buddies, who tried to claim that the plague's origin was entirely natural.

The fruits of apathy
Sadgeek K'han't kept his job by getting the votes of just 17.7% of London's electorate. Enthusiasm for the mayoral election was such that only 40.5% of the electorate bothered.

Tribal grievance politics @ its worst—that's the verdict on the bogus Green councillors in an Islamist scarf.
   Inevitable when the far-Left reject Britisch values.

Today’s Question:
Is Britain heading for a bung parliament if Smarmer can buy enuff minorities with promises of loadsa other people's cash?

Q: What happens when an Xpert claims that Britain is on course for a hung parliament with Labour 32 bodies short of a majority?
A: A whole gang of other Xperts point out that his methodology sucks as it fails to include a ton of significant stuff and makes invalid assumptions.
Q: Why was an African visa over-stayer with a history of violence against women not deported but allowed to stay here to commit murder?
A: Thanks to Home Office snivel servants and, of course, the legal trade.
Q: What's the difference between Smarmer Labour stuffed with Islamists and Corbyn Labour stuffed with commies & anti-Semites?
A: 0.0000002%?

The only possible rageous is out!

Today's Word: Inslammerphobia
That's what Islamists & other hate crimers like All Mouthin Trousers should be suffering from.

The Green party's belief in free speech cannot Xclude hate speech on logic grounds, we are invited to believe.
“The Greens are also willing to deploy selective deafness as an alibi. 'All Mouthin? Never heard word one about him and his anti-semmitic rants!', the Green honchos are claiming.” Furz Ackerley
“The Greens appear to be working hard to overtake Labour in the hippocrisy stakes.” Anne O'Raq
“Greenlighting to replace gaslighting?” Gol Darn
“Could it be that Bier Smarmer is now studying the Greens to look for ideas that he can pinch for hoovering up the nutter vote?” Prodigality Stevens

The French government has gone into denial mode, but the Paris Olympics will be protected by a Britisch drone defence system.
China has been hacking the bank details of MoD staff and current & former members of the Armed Services via an attack on the payroll system of an Xternal contractor.
Israel's prime monster, B. Net&Yahoo, has dismissed a ceasefire deal offered by the Hamas as a ruse to get him into court on corruption charges when the panic dies down.
Kremlin Kreeps have told Dave the ex-Leader that the war in Ukraine is now all his fault.

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Angular Robot isn't just a liar, she's an effogan liar, according to sometime neighbours. Which Xplains why she feels right @ home in the Labour party.
[One does sense a certain hostility here. Ed.]
The Greens are playing the iggorance card over the presence of the Islamist hate preacher & Hamas fan All Mouthin Trousers among their recently triumphant local councillors.
The bloke was outed as a gobsworth in February but the lines of communication to the Green honchos are snail-like.
The UK's Islamist infiltraitors are claiming that they are achieving the highest levels of anti-semmitism in Yourope.
Loss of the Islamist vote in the local elections has forced Bier Smarmer to order Israel not to launch its attack on Rafa, which is Xpected to kill a couple of thousand more Palestinians.

Will a Labour government abolish the state pension for all who are not Labour party members? The far-Left are definitely that evil and a government led by Bier Smarmer could well do it.

Other people’s money is for wasting, right?
"Yorkshire born, Yorkshire bred, strong in'th arm, thick in'th yed!" certainly applies to North Yorkshire council, which has appointed a Dumbing Down Officer, with appropriate staff @ appropriate salaries, to remove all apostrophes from street signs.
   The Xcuse is that snoflakes & databank search engines can't cope with them.

“If Prince Hairy really does think that dead Princess Di is guiding him, that suggests that he still hasn't metabolized all of his intake of Dancing Dream Dust quite yet.” Model Holmes

Continuity of Calamity
The SNP now has a leader who was booted out of the job after 4 disastrous years which began at the close of the previous century. Has Mr. Swinney learnt anything during the intervening 20 years? He spent 9 of them in Wee Burney's pocket as her loyal deputy, let us not forget.

All Mouthin Trousers, the Green Islamist ranter, is trying to play the victim card. We could say good luck with that, but we can't be arsed.
   He also reckons there's nothing wrong with a Green party councillor having a best mate called Akbar and shouting out to him.
Lord Mandelsleaze, an Xpert in the field, is calling the Green party a dustbin for the dregs.

The bastards have been lying to us
That tent city of unwanted migrants @ the processing office in Dublin didn't appear after the Rwanda Bill was rammed up the Lords here. It has been there for over a year
   It's another legacy for the present Teashop from the departed Icelandic L. Verruka, who used to have the unwanteds shipped out of town for the day, and out of the range of TV cameras, on occasions involving a parade, e.g. St. Patrick's Day.

Perversion of Priorities
The job of being cosmetic mayor of the West Midlands does not involve deciding the nation's foreign policy. Which means that the new incumbent (Labour) starting the job with a Plan for Gaza is just a far-Left loafer ignoring what he's supposed to do in favour of a skive.
    How very Smarmer.

Sherie unloads pearls of wisdom
“If the Tories end up a minority party after the next general election, does that mean anything they say will become wonderful & good?” Alkesh Barel
“Transpicater Islamist tribalism is the Green future. Wunderbar!” Arnie Pencil
“The Green Grotters have gone from the watermelon party; green on the outside & commie red inside; to the sprout party; unripe & immature green on the outside & Islamist green on the inside.” R. Migallo

London's cosmetic Sadgeek is reported to think there is equivalence between the 1,200 Israelis slaughtered by the Hamas and the 36,000 Palestinians slaughtered in Gaza by the IDF. Which Xplains why he failed O-Level maths.
Wee Streeting, Labour's poisonous dwarf, is reported to be working hard to come up with something more offensive & more ludicrous.

Hapless Hairy has an adverse effect on his father's wellness, we are told, and that is why the encancered King Chuck was too busy to grant the blighter an audience during Hairy's Carbon Footprint Growth campaign.

This week, Bier Smarmer mostly thinks that those who want open borders are rachelist & wrong. Next week, who knows?

Q: Is it news if some professional freeloader sez he/she is happy to be somewhere or other abroad?
A: It's news only if the freeloader yells that it ain't happy.

Tripe by the load
This year's April is being claimed as the hottest on record. Xcept in the UK. So all that cash thrown @ gorbal warmage frauds on our behalf was wasted? Well, whoda thunk it?
   That's hottest on the strength of fractions of a degree Centigrade which fall well within the experimental error of the measurements and a ludicrously short ‘on record' period compared to the age of the human race, never mind The Planet.

How much gorbal warmage does gaslighting by Labour's Chancellor wannabe R. Reeves cause? We should be told!
Labour's DoomBugger Reeves claims that the UK was better off in recession. Bier Smarmer agrees and she is going to make a permanent state of recession Labour's Big Political Pledge. Until the next U-ey, of course.
Q: If Bier Smarmer is a swithering big girl's blouse, does that mean his pronoun is ‘she'?
A: That would be logical.

Collapse into apathy—a journey
Back in the good old daze of the 20th century, people worked from 9 to 5 and got 45 minutes off for lunch plus a morning and an afternoon tea break.
   These days, according to the Office for Notional Sadistics, the average bod spends less than an hour per day Shirking @ Home and 2½ hours working away from home if the employer is lucky.
   No wonder anything ever gets done any more.

People who sit in a car are Xposed to cancer-causing fumes from flame-retardant chemicals in seat foam and they will die, the Xperts reckon. Even those with an EV.

More of that lying with numbers thing
We are invited to believe that women in the UK get worse health care than those in the EFU on the basis of a guesstimate score of 60 for the UK and 61 for the EFU.
   An honest assessment would be that the scores are about the same within the error limits of the guesses made. But then, honesty doesn't get a look-in when politics & people trying to ramp up their business are involved.

Was there ever any worth in jobsworth?
The street lamps operated by Cambridgeshire County council are so dangerous that residents who want to enter a Best Street in the District competition face electrocution if they try to attach ornamental baskets of flowers to their local lamp posts.
   The only way round this is to blow 300 quid on a 2-day 'elf ‘n' narzi course 'coz some council wonk thinks this is a good idea for buggering the customers about.

H.O. is just N.B.G.
The Home Office is in line for being rebranded as a policing & national security department with borders & immigration control hived off to a separate department.

The BierBC has been thumped for letting its journalists pretend that objecting to unlawful immigration is rachelist.
   Metropolitan group-think is the cause on offer. That and wilful far-Left stoopidity. And being propagandists for the likes of StoneWallet.

Why does the Labour party have Nett Zero policies? Apart from wrecking the sort of private school that Bier Smarmer and other Labourites & their kids went to.
   The useless sods have had 14 years sat on their fat arses to come up with a comprehensive set of policies.
   Their refusal to do so tells us a lot about these deadlegs.

Q: What's the difference between Bier Smarmer and a plank of wood?
A: A plank doesn't try to frame entertainers & Tories for child molesting & murder based on criminal fantasies.

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WEEK 3    Putin the ‘trans’ into intransigence

 
Eye off the ball big time
There is definitely something rotten in the state of Scotland if an Algae Boutique charity can hoover up taxpayers' dosh to persuade mental ‘elves & learning disability kids to go in for gender-bender drugs.

Putin the ‘swine’ into Swinney
More bricks are bouncing orf the SNP government and its new First Meenister for presiding over a national loneliness time bomb by doing stuff like chopping off funding to a male mental ‘elf charity.

Using human sewage sludge on agricultural land is creating antibiotic-resistant superbugs, the Xperts reckon, and they want the practice stopped. Try telling that to China and see how far you get.

Industrial levels of discontent
Rejected (by the nation) prime ministerial candidate N. Pillock is leading a charge against the latest sometime Tory to join Smarmer's Army. Lord Pillock reckons that Bier is turning Labour into a dustbin for political dregs.
   The defector, L Phucke, is noteworthy for being told to phuck off by Labour's R. Reeves. A. Robot is no pal of hers either, but she'd trying to fake it anyway. No one convinced.
   The Tories, meanwhile, are overjoyed to see the back of Ms Phucke, who is Xpected to create further alarm & dissension in Labour's ranks until she gets off the gravy train @ the next general election.
Bier Smarmer is getting a booting for going all smarmy over someone who has done nothing but bad-mouth him in the past. But he's that kind of guy. Mr. Insincerity for the Masses.

We got the numbers
Moslem doctors are attempting to create a Rachelism Olympics by launching anti-semmitic attacks on any Jewish doctors who are unfortunate enough to work near them. The bullies then try to play the Islamaphobia card if the target objects & refuses to sign a formal declaration that the Hamas are the Greatest of All Time.
Doctors who identify as Moslems outnumber Jews 17 to 1 in the NHS.

Seismic Shift: the term ‘criminal lawyer' is now being taken to mean a criminal who operates as a lawyer. The currently frequent context involves Islamists.

MSF is a set of initials created by one of the coppers in the 2001 novel Prey by Jon A. Gored. It leaps into the mind of those who have read the book when they see an encampment of non-Arab students & infiltraitors in masks & an Arab scarf seeking attention by being an offensive nuisance at what is supposed to be a centre of learning.
   And littering their enviromint with black bin bags full of disgusting stuff.
[MSF = Mobile Sewage Factory, which is the polite version of the detective sergeant's description of habitual criminals. Other interpretations of the 'S' are available. Ed.]
American infiltraitors are getting the credit/blame for the unsightly & obstructive tentments @ places like Oxford University. The self-righteous Yonks have phuckt up their own country and their mission now is to bigotize abroad.

If it works, screw with it
The Swiss Army knife has been reinvented for snoflakes. Just gadgets like a screwdriver & a corkscrew, and no blades for sharpening pencils & killing bad guys.
   How the ‘knife' will get on with Trade Descriptions Act has yet to be determined.

All the attention going to the Green party's Islamists is encouraging the anti-semmites in the Labour party to sneak out of their caves & get back to business. The Smarmer Army is letting them ‘coz Bier needs the bodies.

Green hydrogen is a scam. Its production relies on electricity from occasionals by definition, and when hydrogen is burnt in air, it forms water, which is a greenhouse gas, let us not forget.
   Worse, the temperature of combustion lets oxygen & nitrogen react to form oxides of nitrogen, which are more potent greenhouse gases than our old pal carbon dioxide.
   The nitrogen oxides also have a different absorption spectrum, which means that they drink up solar energy which carbon dioxide ignores.

But hey, that's what gorbal warmage scams are all about. Making money out of projects that would never get off the ground if politicians didn't hurl HUGE subsidies of taxpayers' cash at them.

Eurovision, to everyone's surprise, gave this year's Song for Yourope prize to the best song on offer; a Swiss effort; rather than to Israel as a political gesture.
   Britain's entry came nowhere after some creep called Oily did his act in a gloopy grotty washroom.

Creaky Joe & Co. in the Untied States have paused deliveries of weapons to Israel, which is preventing aid from going into Gaza to prevent the Hamas from getting their mitts on it. As for the rest of the customers, well, tough.

Trade unions are mightily pissed off by Bier Smarmer's failure to tell Tory quitter/splitter L. Phucke to get lost as she has form for thinking union bosses are gits.

Bier Smarmer's Big New Idea for dealing with uninviting boat people is . . . another bloody quango with its collective fist in our pocket. And staffed by bods who are already doing this job for the government but will cost us more as quangocrats. Wunderbar!

Bier Smarmer reckons he will replace gimmicks with graft. Does that mean we'll get corruption added on to the graft as a bonus Xtra?
“A total amnesty for all illegals isn't a gimmick? Well, that's a triffic relief!” Sella Guerre
“Canute's successor, Smarmer? Nope. Knut knew what he was doing. Smarmer is more like Ethelred the Unraed, who never got any advice worth having, as Smarmer is noted for swithering & being totally clueless himself.” Boot McGoot

Q: What do you get from the organizers of the Newport Marathon?
A: The chance to run an Xtra 276 metres due to a faulty tape measure.

The Talibandits are causing disastrous floods in the north of Afghanistan. But hey, that's what they're for.

Gordon F. Broon owes the nation £21,000,000,000
That's how much he wasted by deliberately depressing the world price for gold before selling off half of the Britisch stock of the metal.
   Any chance of an apology & surrendering some of his millions as a token of restitution?
   Joke.

Has Labour learnt anything from this Broon-made catastrophe? Not if Bier Smarmer is going to the old booby for ideas on how to wreck the Britisch economy, and everything else, if he gets to prime monster.

Desperate to be noticed, Greenarse Grotter has joined the Pal Pals' crusade against Israel's war crimes. Which makes as much sense as Australia & Israel being in the Song for Yourope shindig. And Putinstan if the Putinis hadn't been banned.

Whinge premise not bought
Let us be clear. What Xhibitionists do on ViewTube is nothing to do with Britisch society, as some meeja wonks would have us believe. It's nothing to do with anything other than the Xhibitionists trying to make a few bob.
   Particularly if it's a deranged stalker doing a whinge for a meeja bloke with a history of Xploiting people like her.

No is the wrong answer, Joe
Israel's court-dodger prime monster is threatening to march into the Untied States to liberate supplies of the weapons of mass destruction that he unloads on Gaza's trapped civilian population if President Creaky Joe stops coughing them up voluntarily.

Sage who knows his onions?
Lord Dave the ex-Leader is warning us that a vote for Bier Smarmer @ the next general election will be a vote for dumping the YewKay into the axis of evil authoritarian states, given Labour's urge to sell us out to every one of our enemies as often as possible.

Q: Is it credible for Labour's defence shadow to claim his party hasn't had a look @ the nation's books?
A: Given the number of pro-Labour infiltraitors in the snivel service, not to mention his free access to the Office for Budget Responsibility's guesses, it's not even worth a mild titter of amusement and an indication of why D. Lammy is universally known as ‘that dope'.

De-evolution in action
Welsh Ssennedd political logic—now is a good time to blow 35 grand on posh office chairs; most of them at the best part of a grand a pop; as they won't get worn out & second-hand as the staff are all Shirking @ Home, and if someone on the team wants to blag them @ some time in the future, they'll be a dead bargain at a fiver a shot.

Cuckoos out of the nest?
"Zionists don't deserve to live", yell the student Pal Pals in the Untied States as they chill out in their unfragrant tent cities.
   If that's the best they can do to claim the moral high ground, sounds like the same applies to them!

Bier Smarmer is the embodiment of the adage "If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything". Hence his sudden attack of L. Phucke's Disease.

Clap to the power of Trap
When you do a TV series which is allegedly about Britain's Royal Family and people point out that you've made stuff up that didn't happen, get some stooge to spout some garbage about the fantasist having articulated a larger truth.
“Articulated? Those are lorries, aren't they?” Labi Rinth
[The modern equivalent of a coach and horses through the facts. Ed.]

20% of kids in the age range 15-18 years old are sick weirdos who seek out suicide & self-harm stuff on their pocket phone.
American universities are admitting kids who are too stoopid to realize that if they go on hunger strike over impossible demands about the Gaza war, they will get hungry, weak & miserable. Sheesh!
If you see a snivel servant wearing an Algae Boutique security pass lanyard, you can be sure it's someone to avoid. Or you need to lower your Xpectations to basement level if you're stuck with him/her/it.
Curiously, Britain's economic growth of 8.9% since Brexit makes us better than any of the nations on the Youropeon mainland.
Even more curiously, Brexit triggered 20% of growth in the US economy. Aren't we great!
Unsurprisingly, the DoomBuggers are scrambling around for stuff to put in their gaslighting script. There's even talk of the Consumer Prices Index falling to its mythical target of 2% in the summer, which they find MIGHTILY distressing.
Beer Smarmer has come up with a plan to run out of other people's money as fast as possible if he gets to be prime monster. A nation yawns.

Bumbastic
Or maybe that should be Bumtastic. The look is certainly Bumptious. But whatever, appearing in public looking like this confirms that there's nowt a female celeb won't do to get herself noticed.
   "Does my bum look big in this?"
   "Your bum would look big in the Grand Cañyon, love."

“Butt welding – needed to keep the cheeks in the same county.” H.T.S.
“Buttox – butt the size of an ox's.” P.H.T.

Esso petrol 148.9p/litre in Romiley.
Esso diesel 156.9p/litre.
Small drop in petrol.

The Minister for Common Sense, E. McVey, is to ban diversity crap in the snivel service & prevent Mandarins from out-sourcing their woke hobby horses to mates in the private sector.
A snivel service union, meanwhile, is trying to drum up support for a strike over the ishue of letting trans women (i.e. men) use female toilets. This is being dismissed by real women as a culture war whipped-up for the sake of making trubble.
The same union is trying to get Shirking @ Home made a ‘uman bluddy right.

Two 20p slices of bread [Aldi price], toasted, adorned with salted butter & served up @ a café with a ‘lovely' beach view. How much?
   If the café is in Welsh Wales, four quid.
   Business rates, costa power & ingredients, and staff wages get the blame.
   The locals, who barely manage average Welsh wages, are not amused.

Get fat and you will die before your time, probably of cancer, is the current message from the Xperts.

When Putin the Poisoner invades the UK, the Pal Pals will become the local KGB. He is reported to have been mightily impressed by the way they handle their cannon fodder and intimidate the mugs into refusing to speak to journalists.

Amnesty International is trying to manoeuvre Chinese students into the bin for those able to seek asylum in the UK ‘coz they are in danger of persecution by their homeland's evil regime.
Beer Smarmer greeted with delight, the news that some evil & vicious criminals are to be let out of gaol early to ease overcrowding. And swell the ranks of Labour voters.
Mhegan the Muciloid's latest alibi is that she is 43% Nigerian.
The Trivials have been shopped to the ‘Uman Rights Commission for deselecting a parliamentary candidate for being a Christian. And for being a former BierBC employee.
As long as news broadcasts use the term ‘occupied West Bank', the Xperts are warning, Israel will remain in the same box as the Soviet Union, China and the Germany of the early 1940s.
"Monstrous crime", Putin the Poisoner said after the failed attempt to kill his buddy the prime monster of Slobakia. Lexicographers are still working hard to come up with a new word which adds proportionality to Putrid's vast number of crimes against humanity compared to a non-lethal Xtermination attempt.

Dancing on the Doorstep of Disaster
That red picture of King Chuck looks like someone whacked him with a rather fragile paper poster and that's his face stuck through it.
   As a work of art, it needs to be sent back to get the job finished off. As a work of conversation-generation, it has certainly done that. As an enduring memorial, it looks out of the same box as the 1954 Winston Churchill portrait by Graham Sutherland, which Churchill hated so much that he got his private secretary to cremate it.
“An endangered-species Monarch butterfly splatted on to wet paint, got stuck and croaked. And the artist fled the country, just one small jump ahead of a gang of homicidal econutters, and the painting was never finished.” Fran Tastiq
“The artist roughed in the background, did the face and forgot about the job until King Chuck's minions arrived to collect it and weren't going to take ‘no' for an answer.” Courtney Topaz-Adductor

There are rumbles in Welsh Wales over the £200K that Labour's Icelandic/African Ssenneddogg, V. Getthing, took as political donations from a bloke who has criminal convictions for rubbish dumping & despoiling the enviromint.
   Routine for Labour? And will it be lotz of little favours in return as Mr. Getthing continues to go in to bat for his guy? Or a few stonkers?
   The world waits on the edge of its seat to find out.

"There is no place for intolerance @ the University of (wherever)", we are told by the people who are nominally in charge of the nation's higher education establishments.
   From which we assume that they are all Shirking @ Home and they never go anywhere near the place except for boozy dos with posh mates.

The wheels are dropping off the claim that the summer of 2023 was the hottest for 2,000 years. The data to make comparisons with current temperatures and past conditions is not available and current measurement techniques are not up to the job of dealing with such a vast time scale.
   Oh, dear, how sad, never mind, tough-titty, you alarmists.

A man with a recycling plan (no, don’t laff)
Bier Smarmer's approach to stopping the boat people is to hoover up everything that has been tried & failed, stick it in a new box bearing a shiny new logo, and claim this scam is something new & wonderful & bound to succeed.
   We'd say good luck with that, Bier, but everyone knows it would be a waste of breath.

Slight language problem
"What does Labour have to offer?" is an absolutely meaningless question.
    The word 'offer' implies giving, which is something Labour doesn't do.
   Labour takes. With both fists.
   And not until the pips squeak. Until the poor old pips are crushed to gritty dust.

Enemies of Progress
Fat people & their sick note culture are seriously hampering Britain's economic growth, the Xperts are yelling.
   Some are even reported to be drifting closer to the concept of linking wages to body mass index to reward the harder working, virtuously slim. Only the likelihood of being lynched by cash deprived trade unions & the Labour party is holding them back.

More blame game
Letting kids mess with a pocket phone whilst eating causes o'besity, the Xperts reckon. How? The kid is too busy messing with the gadget to take any notice of internal fullness signals, and carries on stuffing its fat face regardless.

More goes around
Scottish Labour is now recycling the speeches made by J. Swinney, current First Meenister, when he was lambasting the then Labour administration a quarter of a century ago.
   Which just underlines that if the Scots have to choose between the SNP & Labour, it's a choice between Crap A and Crap B. Wunderbar.

The CSF, a wobbly crank-bank, thinks the taxpayer should subsidize weddings based on ludicrous social cohesion assumptions. Sounds like a good place to start with an un-cranking elimination operation.

Labour's blueprint regime in Wales is using a range of spying techniques, including drones & street-level photography, to spot areas rich in well-kept & maintained homes, which can be uplifted to a higher Council Tax band.
Statistical data, such as which are low-crime neighbourhoods, is also routinely used to stick a fist deeper into the pockets of the law-abiding and decent Welsh customers.
Bier Smarmer might claim he won't put up taxes but we all know better than to take Señor Flip-Flop's word for anything.
“Are there enuff rivers for Bier Smarmer to sell us down or are we going to have to strangle all the Enviromint Agency wonks & start digging some more?” Patrick Lazybreak

Bier Smarmer’s latest Big Idea is to Ape the Edstone . . .

The Bell tolls for the naturally healthy human
The NHS faces having to recruit an army of injectors to meet the demand created by the o'besity industry.
   If the current drug Xplosion really takes off, millions of NHS customers will need weekly injections to get their weight down and protect them from heart attacks & strokes. And making the injections compulsory is certain to follow if Labour ever gets back into power. Its medical paymasters will insist on it.

Q: Does it matter if a helicopter carrying the president of Iran crashes in rain & fog in the mountains on the way back from Azerbaijan?
A: As he's just a figurehead & the Ayatollah Bunchacommies is the real boss, not really.

Labour's poisonous dwarf, Wee Streeting, got a good booting for failing to know & quote the Smarmer pledges on a BierBC ‘give Labour a boost' show.

Deferably obsolete—the phrase ‘value for money’
1. A university May Ball is now held in June to celebrate the end of the exam season. They used to be joyous, boozy occasions with a fireworks display.
   Now, the mugs who stump up £150-£200 for a ticket will be fobbed off with soft drinks, a quiet room or a prayer room, and a chance to do the gender-neutral toilet Xperience.
   And if they're really lucky, a chance to join in some Islamist rant about rivers and seas.

2. Remember when we were young . . .

Swifties are Xpected to blow around 900 quid on a trip to see their idol including buying stuff and paying over 200 quid for the ticket. Rather more complicated than leaping on a train to go from Romiley to Manchester on the evening of the gig.

The ’uman rights industry is up in arms over government plans to use A.I. systems to dig through millions of claims to spot ones from people who are swindling the benefits system.
   The industry, and its Labour party stooges, are quite happy to let the likes of gangs of Bulgarians steal tens of millions from Britisch taxpayers.

The Stammer Travelling Stair Bog
No downstairs loo and you need to get upstairs quickly when there's rumbling below?
No embarrassing mess if you're not quick enuff!
Just stop and perform then move on to your convenience
Romiley EcoDecor, 44c Riverside Drive

The West is a bit of a bugger, President Zelensky has felt obliged to reveal. Creaky Joe & Co. want the good guys in Ukraine to win their war in a way that means Putinstan doesn't lose.
“Putrid can ‘win' any time he chooses. All he has to do is hold a grand victory parade in Moscovicious and send the KGB round to tolchok anyone who is daft enuff to mock the charade.” N.O. Tworthy

Embracing reality
There is a move afoot to create a Real Green Party in Scotland after the current leaders of the branch there ditched droning on about the enviromint in favour of rushing into the camp of fundamentally evil gender benders & their medical cohorts, and embracing rabid misogyny.

Costa Plenty
If you pay a fiver for a plastic cup of coffee, an Xpert reckons, you pay 13p for the cup plus lid and 21p for the coffee plus milk. The rest is business costs plus VAT plus 50p profit.
“Almost makes 6 quid for a pair of posh egg & cress butties or 4 quid for two toasted & buttered doorsteps look reasonable. Almost but not quite.” Srasby Sallas

Why would anyone think that Mhegan the Muciloid could become president of the Untied States if she's only 53% American? Ain't gonna happen.

Today’s phone scammer made 2 basic errors. He was using a pocket phone; 07986 953 789, and he was an Indian claiming to be from BT calling about my internet line, which criminals are using for their criminal purposes. Right!

You ain’t gonna win just yet!
Cleaning your house with harsh chemicals like bleach destroys friendly bugs in the biome and can lead to a version of sick building syndrome. The Xperts have yet to come up with good-bug friendly cleaning solutions, but they are 'working hard' on the problem.

England's football team are nothing if not polite. Which Xplains why they did Narzi salutes before a match in Berlin's Olympic stadium 86 years ago, following orders from the Foreign Office.
   And why they did knee-bobs in support of a dead American criminal more recently.

Q: Is someone struggling to the top of Mount Everest 18 times worth more than a routine BFD?
A: Aaaah, nope.
Q: What's a good way to upset the Waxworks of the Republic of China (WRC)?
A: Haul their ambassodor into Dave the ex-Leader's Foreign Office den for a ticking off about Chinese cyberspying and intimidation of students who are living in the UK and their parents.

The DG of GCHQ, A. K-B, is warning that China is attempting to unshape the world and intent on international harm & destruction of Western values. The WRC are seeking to do this by owning the interweb for their own sinister purposes.

The Ayatollah Bunchacommies is getting the blame for the crash that did for Iran's president, who was becoming a serious & unwanted rival for the Supreme Leader's throne.
“Apparently, the dead Iranian president is known as the Butcher of Tehran. Thus the mugs @ the UN who did a stand-up for him should have been made to stay on their feet for one minute for every person the butcher had murdered. Over two days of it with no snacks or toilet breaks to make them think before pulling a similar stunt. Or should that be 20 days?” Pier Breiton

Top-up solution
In case anyone was still wondering about those Marks & Sparks big-bum pants, they are intended for skinny ladies in their eighties so that they can wear trousers without having them flopping around baggily at the back.

Things can only get worser . . .
The Jonah Burnham Curse is not only zapping the new Co-Op event centre in Manchester, of which he is cosmetic mayor, it is also destroying the roof of Manchester United FC's stadium, which is leaking like mad.
   Will there be any public building left intact in Greater Manchester after another dose of Jonah as the local Wrecker In Chief?

Just bloody pests
The insanitary Pal Pals camp @ Cambridge University will force the institution to hold this year's graduation day ceremonies elsewhere on public health grounds if the masked moochers and others who have no connection with the university don't bugger off.
Actual Cambridge students who are hoping to follow tradition at the university are not impressed by the antics of the professional protesters & supporters of the Hamas and other terrorists. But hey, what do their opinions count for!

Advertisement Mr. Wydey’s Book List Highly Recommended Reading, Authors worth pursuing & some Awful Warnings, Hundreds of Bux listed!

WEEK 4    Putin the ‘ache’ into snoflache

 
Small incident in Handlova, not many injured
There is a growing suspicion that the alleged ‘shooting' of the corruption-prone & Putrid Pal prime monster of Slobakia was a put-up job and he's just trying to have a skive and build up some sympathy before he gets back to his usual dirty tricks.
The incident is being used by Slobakia's KGB equivalent to attack those who object to their government's pro-Putrid, pro-corruption & anti-West policies.
Another silly story cooked up by the Putinis—the Yew Kay was behind the (fake, but don't admit that) assassination attempt.
   That's really larding the over-egg.

Those whom the Gods would destroy . . .
The teaching trade has lost touch with reality to the Xtent that our SnackStabber PM is having to ban wonks from telling kids that gender is a spectrum [with 121 lines, at the last count, Ed.] and an entirely voluntary concept.

What we need to do is start installing lamp posts as a matter of urgency. Come the Revolution, it won't just be politicians & lawyers dangling from them, it will be members of a whole gang of other uncaring trades.
   Which will include midwives, who have been exposed as downright dangerous in their contempt for customers; something which has been going on for decades and is getting the blame for the decline in the UK's birth rate as only those who go private can be sure of being treated properly and safely.

Take the money and run back for more
One of them there studies has found that bribing men with taxpayers' dosh is a brilliant way to get them to lose weight. But making it an NHS regular has to be a bad idea as the bastards will just put the weight back on again to get another pocketful of other people's dosh.

The t.b. liar Gimme Loot Institute has realized that the Labour party's Nett Zero targets are claptrap.
   No danger of B. Smarmer, Edstone Milipede & the rest getting this anytime soon, though. Them what kno it all cain't be told.
Doable only @ vast & unreasonable Xpense applies to some of the targets.
Totally irrelevant in global terms applies to all of them.

Q: How much notice should we take of a Smarmer pledge to smash criminal gangs?
A: How about none at all?

If you don't approve of stealth taxes, avoid Bournemouth, which will steal £2.40/night from visitors who stay there from July 1st.

Iran held a Day of Celebrations yesterday for the funeral of the Butcher of Tehran. The streets were jam-packed with bogus weepers.

Job done, now gone?
How strange that nothing is ever seen in the Commons Chamber of the 2 recent Tory defectors, D. Poulter & L. Phucke.
   Could it be that Labour's enforcers have them locked in a cellar to make sure they don't do a runner back to where they came from & Xpose the party to even more ridicule than the amount received for welcoming this pair of beauties in the first place?
[right] Sugar Ray, the former Cabinet office ‘neutral' (in theory) snivel servant is getting the blame for the L. Phucke defection.

Another bum-busting impact
The Skittish SNP regime is getting another booting after de-un-funding a mental ‘elf charity for men. The word now is that the charity will get some cash instead of none, but the SNP is being very coy about Xactly how much.
   Even worse, the Swinney Mob is being accused of staging a publicity stunt by dumping the charity in a ditch and then virtue flagging as its savour.

Attention eyes, get ready to water . . .
Creating Bier Smarmer's not so Great British Energy scam will involve digging into the taxpayer's pocket to the tune of at least:
£82,000,000,000
and that's a guess by Labour's paymaster, the trade unions, which Xpect to hoover up a HUGE chunk of it.

Xclusive!
Earlier on the Bier Baloney Show . . .

The Greens are facing challenges via the Trade Descriptions Act over their endemic misogyny & sudden dedication to the Algae Boutique. A rainbow agenda & a single colour are obviously completely incompatible.

Today’s Challenge:
"He's the sort of guy you'd imagine talking about a soup stain of something rather than a soupçon and not realize everyone is laughing at him inside."
   Which public figure was that said about?
[Answers on a PC to the usual address. Ed.]

Bier Labour's election bloke has also been gaming the housing system like Angular Robot. He rented out his house in Wolverhampton and lived next door at the taxpayer's Xpense.
   And the mug living in his house paid 12% more in rent than the amount the aptly named P. McFastone was shoving on his parliamentary Xpenses for his rent.
   The lefter they are, the benter they are!

When in doubt, go for the money
The BierBC plan to stick adverts into its podcasts is an abuse of the rules on fair & effective competition.
   If it goes ahead, it could be the first step on the road to abolishing the BierBC licence fee.

++ Tory MPs plotting to cancel the July election by sacking the SnackStabber as Tory leader? ++ What has someone been smoking? ++
“Good grief. Six weeks of lying bastards lying to us. Definitely something to be endured, not. Cue a lot of DVDs getting a revisit as an alternative to TV programmes rehashing the same BS over and over and over.” O.T. Ravityel

The International Criminal Court is seeking arrest warrants for B. Net&Yahoo and 3 bosses of the Hamas for crimes against humanity in & around Gaza. Opponents reckon this is just blatant attention-seeking.
The alleged academic who wants to give away a couple of hundred million pounds of other people's money in virtue-flagging slavery reparations has been told that he needs to come up with 93 rock-solid reasons why sensible people shouldn't laugh at him. This is seen as a polite way to tell the bugger to get knotted.
Slushtag ^AttentionSeekingClown
“Surprise! The reverend 'gentleman' has a book to sell. Hence the need for personal publicity.” Berlud Enose
A lot of technical colleges which became knock-off universities could vanish quite quickly as they are reliant on grabbing vast sums from foreign students, who are not turning up in the required numbers.
When they build the Xtra lamp posts ahead of the Revolution, some will be reserved for the likes of Archybish Wetby & other Church of England clowns, who are perpetrating cultural terrorism on Britain's cathedrals & doing their best to drive out Xcellence as part of a dumbing down agenda.

Distinctive feature
British politicians are claiming that closing down British factories & off-shoring the emissions from our former industries to China achieves their illusory Nett Zero targets.
   But if less pollution here becomes a whole lot more in China, how does that achieve anything on a global scale? Especially if you can tack on the emissions produced by shipping stuff half-way round the world from China to the Youropeon Zone.
   The fact remains that if a politician's mouth is open, it will be issuing blatant lies 78.7% of the time. Which is why gob-hiding Chinese plague masks were such a blessing for them while the fashion lasted.

One does get the distinct impression that things like the contaminated blood scandal are kept covered up for 30, 40 or more years so that the people who were in charge of the NHS or whatever at the time are all dead or gaga.
   No doubt the Horizon Heroes, who are currently performing for the inquiry and campaigning to be put in power, are wishing the same could have happened to them.

Q: How can Max Smarmroom force NHS staff to provide 40,000 more weekend & evening appointments every week?
A: Only by getting the Islamists to threaten to eliminate any trade union leaders who get in the way.

Bier Smarmer is promising an end to Tory chaos. The only snag is that it will be replaced by Labour chaos, which will be infinitely worse.

“Are any of the NHS managers & snivel service characters who caused the lethal contaminated blood scandal and were allowed to cover it up for four decades going to gaol for negligent homicide & other crimes against humanity? Joke.” N. Astibas-T'urd

The boss of the BierBC's news & currant affairs thinks the customers don't want impartiality, they just want garbage that reinforces their prejudices. How odd, therefore, that she can offer only buckets of pro-Labour garbage.
Slushtag ^ToriesDon'tWatchTheBeeb
“Where do they dig up characters like this? Who say they know the Beeb is making a bog of things but can't be arsed to do anything about fixing it?” Krasny Vek

Labour's answer to housing shortages is to impose rent caps in the shortest areas to drive private sector landlords out of the rental market.
The wheels have come off Labour's coalition in Wales. The nationalists have walked out of it in response to revelations about donations to the African-Icelandic Labour honcho, V. Getthing, and his bossy-boots behaviour.
Questions are being asked about a survey of students @ Britain's top universities which reckons 40% of their students think the 10/7 terrorist attack by the Hamas was an understandable act of resistance.
The ishue is whether the masked respondents were actual students or usual suspect Pal Pals infiltraitors confusing things.

Wanted (for locking up)
Smarmer & Gravy, the Horizon Heroes
Something to remember when they claim to be the bee's knees and the dog's dingus as they're trying to shove their hand deeper into your pocket.

The social care industry's failings are getting the blame for reducing the elderly population by 29,000 in 2022/23.
   More room for migrants, though?

We’ve got one, too
The mess the MacRon regime is making in France is proving to be an Xcellent awful warning of how useless a Smarmer regime would be here.
   Like MacRon, Bier Smarmer is all show and not much ‘go'. And then there's his record of making a firm & definite announcement of policy and then doing a U-turn two seconds later.
   Worse, Smarmer is having to recruit an army of apologists @ least as huge as MacRon's to come up with Xcuses for his chain of failures.

Hang about, the history is still being written
Another thread to the Slobakian Was It An Assassination Try? Incident is that J. Cintula, the rotten shot, was involved in the Velvet Revolution, which booted the Soviets out of what was then Czechoslobakia.
   He is being positioned as a fan of democracy, something that the current Slobakian PM & Putrid stooge is cancelling. His failure to be lethal from what was supposed to be point-blank range has yet to be positioned.

Dissent turned to advantage?
Some of Net&Yahoo's coalition partners are getting the message that he's prolonging the war with the Hamas to keep himself out of court, and so they're telling him they'll quit if he doesn't get the remaining Jewish prisoners out of Gaza quickly.
   This will suit Net&Yahoo as he'll be able to go along with Israel's Zionist Xtremists, who are busting a gut to reoccupy Gaza and take back the illegal settlements which Israel had to abandon.

Today’s Thickhead of the Week Award goes to Mark Dolan of GB Views for pretending last night that the departure from Parliament of the Govester @ the general election will be fatal to the SnackStabber.

One down, millions to go?
A Palestinian law student has had her UK visa cancelled for being non-conducive to the public good. Manchester University is aghast & in mourning for the loss of a foreign student's fee. Everyone else is falling over in amazement that this has actually happened, given that the Pal Pals seem to have carte blanche to do anything they like.

32.9% of the student Pal Pals think ‘the river' is the Nile and ‘the sea' is the Caribbean. The number goes up to 43.7% when only those attending Russell Group unis are counted.
The rachelists are taking pot shots @ the legal trade. They want a ban on the trade-mark wigs worn in courts as they are incompatible with a weird Afro hairstyle that's ‘wide as a barn door'.
The Chief Constabule of GM Polis has pledged that the investigation of Angular 'Two Homes' Robot will be done fairly & impartially. But not a word about whether it will be completed this century.
44% of adults in Britain are abnormal in that they look at a pocket phone only once per hour instead of every two seconds.

Sherie does another theme
“Bier Smarmer claims to be working class? He's never done a stroke in his life. Pulled a few, maybe.” Per Tanq
“Or tried to and ended up being laughed out of court when it flopped.” Souter Raine
“When confronted on TV, Smarmer couldn't define what working class amounts to or Xplain how it differs from middle class. Just bloody lazy & entitled.” Furlash McGash
“England needs to be unclubbable and ferkin proud of it, according to a Trump guy. Two nations separated by a common language. As politicians are separated from the rest of us.” Carton Goldich

One to avoid? The software developer System C has created a cute crApp for pregnant women which asks them if they are male, presumably in compliance with current custom & practice.
   Some NHS trusts run by wonks are using it. No one surprised.
“Does the crApp ask if they identify as another mammalian species, e.g. a cat or a dolphin? If not, why not!” S.C Ribble

As the gender racket is now 99.9% about pandering to poltroons, maybe it's time to boot it into touch and forbid politicians from wasting any more of their ‘paid for by us' time on it.

Horizon Heroes—as honest as short is long. Men to trust? Joke.
Do you want to be stabbed in the back? This pair of beauties will do it for you with a big smile as they promise you the Earth at someone else's Xpense.
(An unconvincing smile, but WTF, they're politicians)

Another hostage to fortune
Bier Smarmer has revealed that he is piscatorial and doesn't eat meat. Xcept for the very occasional bite of chicken. This is his Xplanation for being so lacklustre & wishy-washy.
“That certainly Xplains why Smarmer is such a cold fish. One who always ends up being laughed at when he pretends to be passionate about something.” Bhar Zaq
“What's the cute name for the piscatorial equivalent of a ham actor?” Dred Jing
“Clownfish? Bombay Schmuck? Complete Pollock? Fred Flounder?” Per Lees

Morons than off . . .
Typical bloody politicians. Labour would like to de-medicalize the gender racket somewhat. Instead of a committee of doctors deciding if someone can get a legal certificate of otherness, one individual will make the decision.
   This is a typical Smarmer trip half-way to what the SNP want to do in Scotland, i.e. take the ishue out of the hands of the medical trade completely and put it in the hands of gangs of politically appointed stooges. Probably with downgrading the decision from a GP to a practice nurse as a first step.

Something else to get out of the hands of politically motivated bozos is comedy, which is decaying rapidly under the dead hand of far-Left censorship & mob attacks on anti-social meeja.
“Maybe comics should just get on with the job of being funny and stop wasting time reading what idiots are putting on X-Twater-Buk.” Sam O. Lina

Today’s Question
Is 'time for a change' such a Good Thing when the only alternative to what we have at the moment is 'for the worse'?

The Empty Quarter recipe
Curiously, some of the sick & twisted members of the PCS snivel service union are demanding a secular state in Palestine to achieve peace there.
   A state sans Jews & sans Moslems? Just the odd camel roaming free?

Hierarchy Hiccup
Being bullied ‘coz you are of colour is not worse than being bullied ‘coz your hair is ginger! An industrial tribunal has shocked the nation by ruling that a comparison of the relative victimhood scores is not rachelist and by booting a claim for compenbloodysation into touch.
The of colour complainant maintained that of colour bullying has been going on for 400 years. No figure was offered for anti-ginger attitudes against people like the vexed bloke's boss.

Refuge for the worst of the worst
The contaminated blood scandal & the Post Office Horizon ditto confirm that the most evil & most indifferent to human suffering people are drawn to the NHS and other national organizations as well as politics & the snivel service.
Any chance of ripping the peerage from the likes of K. Clarke as a first step toward decency, though? Thought not.

Sock it to them
There's a new rule for people who steal from big stores now that the police can't be arsed to do anything about it. If the criminal starts yelling about his mate Akbar when nabbed, the staff are allowed to assume he's a terrorist, take him behind the scenes and deliver a good kicking.

Attention All Customers:
Today is a Bonk Holiday. Yes, all day, enjoy it whilst you can.
You're not going to get another for months.

Esso petrol 148.9p/litre in Romiley.
Esso diesel 153.9p/litre.
Another small drop in diesel.

Climate measure breakthrough!
“My bottle of extra virgin olive oil, kept in an unheated kitchen, has been full of suspended small waxy lumps until last week. Now, it's a clear liquid. Maybe shifts in the arrival of All Liquid Day for EV olive oil should be used as a measure of how the climate is really changing.” Gold Arne

Fame from shame, and maybe some loot to boot
The streaming giant stalker who wasn't named in the NeatFlix series about her activities reckons she is assembling a gang of Flywheels. Her plan is to sue NeatFlix for including made-up stuff in a series advertised as based on fact. She's obviously, someone prepared to ignore how the TV industry works.
She is also accused of cyberstalking Bier Smarmer & bombarding him with vexatious stuff. No word yet on whether he's been in touch with NeatFlix, or he's just trying to get a sympathy vote.
   But if he does get to be prime monster, and the Labour party immediately replaces him with some woman in the name of diversity, being stalkworthy is a career Bier may well pursue.

Q: Why did Labour back the International Criminal Court attempt to get an arrest warrant for B. Net&Yahoo, PM of Israel, on genocide charges?
A: The Smarmer Army is worried about keeping the Moslem vote to avoid Xtinction.

B. Net&Yahoo, who would be in court in Israel on corruption charges if he wasn't racking up war crimes points in Gaza, has described the ICC bloke in charge, K. Khan [or should that be K'han't? Ed.] as a rogue prosecutor. Sounds like they are well suited.

Even more good news for criminals
The police have been told by the Notional Police Chiefs Council to make fewer arrests to create space in overcrowded prisons.
   Xperts are now worried that a ‘3 murders or more' policy will become the threshold for arrest, given the ability of police farces to blag a working holiday.

Get used to it
Bier Smarmer has been out losing votes in the West Midlands, promising to destabilize the economy as a matter of priority. Or something.
Eddie Gravy, the Post Office Minister Who Let Horizon Happen, wants to apply the same lack of principle to the whole country. Wunderbar!
R. Reeves, Labour's Chancellor wannabe, says she'll never play fast & loose with our money. A politician might say something like that, but the rest of us know the only way to stop it happening is to keep her at least 40 million miles away from our dosh with no internet and no phone signal.

The broadcasting quango Ofcom is getting a booting for applying the rules about bias over-severely on GB Views & not @ all on the BierBC.

Today’s Word: Bombrado
A combination of bombast & bravado.

The wreckers are at it again
Bossy botanists & gardeners of grievance are stocking up on mini-flame-throwers as they try to drum up support for Xtermination of all non-native plants for which a slavery or similar label can be confected.
Blackcurrants are @ particular risk as their name contains the banned-by-them word ‘black'.

Bier Smarmer claims he has changed the Labour party. And he has. Under O.J. Corbynstein, the party was far-Left & solidly anti-Britisch. No one knows what Labour stands for now as Smarmer can never make his mind up about anything.

Q: Will the death of the 'Butcher of Tehran' president plunge Iran into chaos?
A: As he's just a figurehead and the Ayatollah Bunchacommies is the actual Supreme Leader, the oppression & murder will just chug along as usual.
Q: Who's getting the blame for the fatal helicopter crash?
A: Guess! Iran is blaming the US & Israel because it can't buy new choppers and the one that crashed is 30 years old & was badly maintained.
“Strange that they haven't been able to get any from China, a fellow member of the crimes against humanity club. I imagine Putrid is a bit short of them right now.” Pok U. Padgel
Q: If an A.I. can detect cancer @ double the current speed of the present system, will that cut waiting lists?
A: The A.I. system won't be online for 3 years and people known to have cancer will still have to get in a queue for treatment, which makes this routine hype.

Do you suck up to the Todger Dodgers? Bier Smarmer does 'coz he's that sort of guy. Anything goes if there's summat in it for him. posted by the Campain for a Smarmier Brittan

The Chelski Flower Show is getting a good booting for being about weeds & rebloodywilding & nothing to do with flowers & order imposed by real gardeners. The wonks have driven them away.
The Camden People's Theatre in London (where else?) Is getting a booting for wanting to pay £50K of taxpayers' dosh to a chief Xecutive who is a criminal class, disabled, deaf member of the Algae Boutique & of non-European heritage.
   Discrimination against white people of native British heritage seems to be compulsory in the capital these days.
Angular ‘Two Homes' Robot is getting another booting for claiming that a Labour government will build 1.5 MILLION new dwellings by creating more towns.
   This is a recycling of a plan announced by Gordon F. Broon in 2007. Which delivered a total of zero new towns.
   But hey, you can't Xpect Smarmer's Army to come up with anything original, can you?

The Association of Cheap Police Officers has told the Notional Police Chiefs Council to take their order to make fewer arrests to ease prison overcrowding and stick it where the Sun don't shine.
   Just before the Policing Minister, C. Philp, dropped the notion into his Pillocks' Policy bin.

Change is just something different with no guarantee of better.

WEEK 5    Putin the ‘rat’ into laboratory

 
Unheard Assassin
Quiet electric vehicles are more dangerous to humans than petrol & diesel vehicles. In the relatively noisy environment of a town, their strike rate is 3x higher.
   Not that they are much safer out of town. Their strike rate is double that of petrol/diesel vehicles in the countryside.

Survivalist Agenda
O. Dowden, the deputy PM, is advising the customers to fill up their Thatcher cupboard with essential supplies & have a good stock of drinking water stashed; at least three days' worth is recommended.
   This is so that the customers have some chance of surviving the inevitable power cuts, floods & cyber attacks that will come if they are foolish enuff to put Smarmer's Army of wreckers in charge in July.

Lyuronic Acid—the one that says “Hi-Ya!” Lots of deals, lots of delivery systems Choose one that suits you @ Romiley Advanced Pharma, 32d Riverside Drive

Cashwars!
From October, banks will have to cough up a maximum of £415K to people who fall for a smooth-talking scammer when the current voluntary system ends.
   The nation's banks are now working hard to get the limit reduced to £30K to avoid being done over by scammers pretending to be the victim of a scam.

Greater Manchester (Labour) Police started making noises about giving A. "Two Homes" Robot a coating of whitewash as early as next week.
   The nation assumed that police farces in Labour stomping grounds have managed to restock after the HUGE amounts that were used to cover up Bier Smarmer putting himself about, doing public boozing during lock-in.
   Suddenly, rachelist Abbott is back in the Labour party ‘coz Smarmer needs every body he can get. So a bucket chain of whitewash is applied to A. Robot too.
   What's the betting he was trying to re-enlist his best mate, O.J. Corbynstein? But he probably got cold feet ‘coz he was worried about being booted out of the top job.

Here’s some more
Beer Smarmer wants to lower the voting age to 16 as a stage on a journey to 13.
The SnackStabber plan to end smoking with a creeping threshold for kiddies looks like being sacrificed due to the snap election.
A survey has confirmed that only those with an eidetic memory will remember political promises made in the next four weeks when the July election comes around, which gives the political parasites carte blanche to sound off, knowing it will just go in one ear and out the other.
Bier Smarmer has declared that undecided voters should support him as he is making a career out of being undecided about everything.

If it wasn’t for bad guys, wouldn’t be no guys at all
In devolved Scotland, school bullies get treats rather than Xclusion from their school, public money goes to gangs which try to ban authors who stand up for the rights of women, female criminals in rehab are Xposed to violent blokes who pretend to be women . . .

51% of Scots are now religionless, according to the latest survey. Religion is no longer the guiding force it was, lament the social commentators.
   But as it is based on the same pie-in-the sky promises we get from politicians—often delivered by people as bad as politicians or even worser—all we can say is "No bluddy wonder."

Wily would-been students are pretending to be transpicaters, knowing that's an easy back door to a place @ a university which is addicted to virtue flagging. And we all know there's no shortage of them.

No surprise that the Jr.Dox are going on strike again from the Thursday before the general election to remind everyone what a gang of grabbers they are. Five days this time for their ludicrous 35% pay claim.

Ging-Gang in the Ghoolies!
SNP MSPs are upset because their leader, J. Swinney, had booted the party in the ghoolies by agitating against a suspension for a mate, who tried to stick £11,000 of holiday bills on his MSP Xpenses.

Big companies such at Standard Life & L'Oreal are getting a booting for buying up vast tracts of rural Scotland for carbon credit scams and pointless rebloodywilding to the Xclusion of the people who live there and try to make a living there.

Action or just noises?
Ofvet is casting a beady eye on the charges made by the big companies which have hoovered up most of Britain's veterinary practices.
   The customers have been complaining long & hard about being ripped off in every direction possible. But will anything come from the probe? That is definitely not a given as it will go on until 2026.

It has been guesstimated that by 2037, no one will be able to walk more than 14.3 yards in a straight line without colliding with one of the zillions of electricity pylons which the Notional Grid plans to unload on us as part of a Nett Zero scam.
Most of the million-plus teenagers & young adults who don't have a job are spending their time watching porn or playing video games because the gang running the benefits & mental ‘elf rackets let them.
The Prime Monster has revealed that it didn't matter if he got soaked by rain during his outdoor election announcement as ‘uman beans are waterproof. Sceptics think he was just trying to create a head-banger image in sharp contrast to the terminally dull Smarmer.
69.2% of people believe that life would be more harmonious if all ‘uman bluddy rights lawyers got the sack.

right: Bier Smarmer whistling Dixie to remind his audience not to believe a word he says
Sir Fear Smarmer is refusing to do a weekly [weakly? Ed.] head-to-head argy-bargy on TV with the SnackStabber. As a lawyer, he can read a script & make threats, but he's lost when challenged & taken away from the script.
“Back in January, Bier claimed he was up for as much argy as the bargy wanted. But hey! He's a politicians & Mr. U-turn. So you're not supposed to believe a word he says.” Yage Meering
“If Nicro Binbag of the BierBC is hoping to be the chief barger, that's an excellent reason for everyone else to be washing their hair that night.” Sopro Vayetem
"Smash the gangs!"
   "How?"
"Errr . . ."

Above the clouds, and his rules for others
Archybish Wetby, who wants everyone else to sit on their hands and stop generating carbon dioxide, has done the equivalent of flying right round the world at the equator TWICE, plus a bit more, with his jaunts on God Force One to Anglicans outside the UK.
   Video conferences would have got the job done; but not for an adoration junkie who needs minions to grovel before him in the flesh.

Labour Chaos
Is Smarmer desperate enuff for the looney-left Corbynsteiner vote to let Abbaccuss Abbott back into the party? ‘Course he is.

The people running the ‘elite' Russell Group universities are so opposed to free speech that they have included people who oppose gender insanities with those who dare to criticize the views of murderous Islamists in their cancellation list. Supporting the rights of women is as rachelism equivalent as anti-Semitism to that shower.

Anyone who is foolish enuff to venture out to a pub for an over-priced drink will get short measure 70% of the time, a survey by the Chartered Trading Standards Institute has found.
The average rip will be 4-5% in the direction of off.

“What we need is a fixed penalty fine of £500 for the alarmists who go on about ‘hotter summers' when fractions of a degree Centigrade are involved and ‘mildly warmer but not noticeably so' is the accurate truth.” H.L. Beinschob

And more still
Lest we forget, Bier Smarmer, the DPP who let Jimmy Savile stay out of gaol, swore blind that O.J. Corbynstein is the bee's knees. That's how much is opinion is worth.
Lest we forget, the Trivial Democrap figurehead, Eddie Gravy, let the Horizon Horror happen when he was Post Office Minister. Which makes it all the more strange that he's swanning around in the West Country unlynched.
Calling Nigel Farage rachelist for revealing that 60% of British Moslems support the Hamas is a triumph of iggorance. Islam is a religion open to all and there is no racial qualification, as for Judaism.
The Angular "Two Homes" Robot plan to put the trade unions in charge of the workplace will cost the economy £41,000,000,000. How many Xtra homes will that buy?
R. Reeves, Chancellor wannabe, sez no more Labour tax & waste but there's no support coming from B. Smarmer, her boss, which tells its own story.

Crumbs! A gang of publicity hound pollsters was actually forecasting that the Tory party would be reduced to just 11 bodies in Parliament after the election, based on their results. Obviously going for the top prize in the Worst Poll of the Year awards.

None of the policies announced thus far by any political party has any relevance to the election!

Sherie swings back with more goodies
“Smarmer is the sort of wonk who thinks a Chelski Flower Show without any flowers is the way it should be.” Pronokial Vidor
“A one-star review for the female boss of Shakespeare's Globe, who bagged the role of Richard III for herself. Shame the critic isn't able to give negative stars to ludicrous luvvies like her.” Bander Zhine
“King Dick without one. Sounds like something Smarmer would rush to applaud.” B. Sides
“If the US Democraps don't dump Creaky Joe, they deserve to get their arses kicked from ocean to ocean.” Trak Torse
“Talking percentages is usually the mark of the scoundrel. 10% of nothing much does not belong in the same breath as 3-4% of way too much.” 3. Hotton

Below the line mission statement: Some of the above is true. BFN is recognized as a premiere class observational blog and a multiple winner of the OB of the Year award.
   We are constantly exposed to dodgy conclusions drawn from dodgy data by the 'experts', especially those found in the world of politics and especially those at the Treasury and in opposition and running trade unions.
   Some of us civilians at BFN like to join in to let them know that anyone can do it and we ain't impressed by their efforts.

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Created for Romiley Anarchists' League by workers in revolt against oppression to set the record straight in the 3rd millennium. © RAL, May MM24 like anyone cares.