“Honesty, integrity & truth matter only in politics other than those of the Labour party.”—Bier Smarmer

WEEK 1    Putin the ‘mental’ into ornamental

 
Boat Race winners were unable to dunk their cox in the river after being told to avoid all direct contact with the water due to the dangerously high levels of E.coli bacteria, which were dumped into the Thames in sewage discharges by Thames Water.
The Met actually managed to bust 4 scumbsags, who were hoping to disrupt Boat Race Day events.

Snoflakes, the Xperts assure us, are unable to handle clocks springing forward @ the end of March and they are plunging into depression. Or pretending to do so as an Xcuse for a skive.

The state of Israel is in a state of fear & trembling. Greenarse Grotter has signed up to the cause of the Hamas & joined in the 'Slag Off Net&Yahooland' campaign.
The SNP is working hard to make assisted suicide compulsory north of the border.
Use of the term 'mental health' has been banned on the grounds that it discriminates unfairly against the male of the species.
++ 'Labour will level up better than the Tories' claimed by Bier Smarmer ++ Rest drowned out by loud laughter ++ Down is the only direction Labour knows, sez Tory spokes ++
UN to haul Net&Yahoo into International Criminal Court on war crimes charges after he's been done in Israel on corruption charges.
Lloyds Bank, owner of the firm Scottish Widows, is trying to cancel the word widows because it's all about death, which is what the climate criminals are insisting everyone else is inflicting on their planet in multiple ways.
[Anyone looking for sense here should move on as there is none where wonk culture is concerned. Ed.]
Watch this space.

Climate Criminals strike again
Home insurance premiums will soar when Ofgem approves dynamic pricing & lets power companies charge more @ peak times.
   This is Xpected to encourage customers to run dodgy washing machines, etc., @ night, even though this is against safely advice, and increase the severity of domestic fires & the damage caused.
A spokes for the National Association of Fire Brigades warned that they will be unable to cope without major investment and pay rises.

Slump McGump!
Easter egg sales are in a huge decline following manufacturers charging more for smaller eggs. The punters are refusing to be mugs.
“You can get 200 gms of chocolate from our local Aldi for 90p. Okay, it's flat, not egg-shaped, but it tastes just the same in your mouth.” Bill Ding

Intelligence not on the list of job requirements?
Airline passengers are not allowed to have in their hand luggage, containers with a liquid content of more than 100 ml, although multiple containers are okay. This is to make life tough for Islamist suicide bombers.
   Which leaves us wondering how much sense there is in the geniuses in charge of Heathrow airport banning creme eggs, which contain 40 ml of liquid at their centre.

BierBC TV presenter Munch Hetty has been unable to afford pyjamas since she was a teenager. A nation gasps in horror at the shock of it!
Labour MPs will be demanding a pay rise if their party's assault on private schools forces them to raise their fees.
Angular Robot to be put in charge of failed Thames Water to prevent a 40% rise in bills for the customers?
Anti-UseLEZ campaigners in London are getting really cute in support of their cause. Such as by putting bat boxes on poles used for UseLEZ cameras. Bats are a protected species and it is illegal to mess about with their boxes, even if unoccupied.

Esso petrol 147.9p/litre in Romiley.
Esso diesel 154.9p/litre.
Petrol still leaping up.

Looney Tunes playing again
The UFN, which sends refugees to Rwanda, has ordered the SnackStabber not to do it 'coz Rwanda ain't a safe haven for bogus asylum seekers.
   Does this make sense? Or is Xpecting sense from the brain-dead political stooges @ the Untied Freakin' Nations a lost cause?
[clue: the answer to that is 'yes'. Ed.]

"The government is planning to criminalize Rasputin."
   That's what the announcer on the BierBC news programme seemed to say. And as it was delivered on April Fool's Day, we decided to let it go at that. Knowing that any sort of Xplanation would be a total let-down.

Politics Xplained: State of Emergency
Something politicians declare when they have nothing to offer that's of any use to the customers, e.g. Wee Burney Sturgeon's climate emergency in Scotland.

In Australia, a cup-winning women's football team can include 6 blokes who are pretending to be female. And they call this sport? Arse!

Q: What's the Kiss of Death for a floundering political spiv?
A: Bier Smarmer saying he believes everything she says even though he hasn't seen the case papers.
Q: Are the general public thick if they claim that the government ain't spending enuff on the NHS?
A: They must be if they can't grasp the simple fact that the far-Left morons put in charge of the Notional Health Service by the moronic government are wasting BILLIONs on irrelevant claptrap like diversity bollocks & stupid questionnaires for NHS staff demanding to know if they're pergosex, or something similar.
[Allosexual was one of the invented categories, which sounds like attraction of an Allosaurus dinosaur. And greysexual, which is presumably attraction to either grey aliens or burrocrats in a grey suit. Ed.]
“It certainly underlines the waste of money involved if the weirdos doing an unauthorized survey to find out how much support there is for their deviation have to provide a paragraph of explanation for their deviational categories.” Selon Mange

Buck Passing
The judge who granted asylum to the chemical attacker A. Ezedi is claiming he knew Ezedi was dodgy but he took the word of a Baptist minister that he was a good Christian as reliable.
   The Baptist Church is writing the Reverend R. Merrin off as retired & nowt to do with them no more.
   Who can the Rev dump on in his turn? Difficult to know as he's in an on-going 'no comment' situation.

Israel took 2 weeks to reduce the biggest hospital in Gaza City to a pile of rubble, and left the locals to dig a huge number of bodies out of the wreckage.
Loss of the hospital and medical staff will multiply the casualty figures greatly.
32,000 Palestinians now killed by Israel in Gaza.

Labour councillors who resign from the party because its leadership refuses to yell pointless slogans about a ceasefire in Gaza are no loss to their local communities if they are refusing to do the jobs they're being paid for, such as getting potholes filled and not twatting about with woke stuff that wastes money

Bam to the power of Boozle
Boggo Rollo Bandits are swindling mugs with claims that adding bamboo makes their product planet-saving. Which is complete claptrap if the bamboo content is a mere 2˝%
The spivs are complaining that they've been done over by suppliers in China.

More bam
'a man forced to eat his own ear passes without comment', complained a journalist. Really?
   Maybe he could tell us why he hasn't been paying attention and he's willing to ignore all the meeja Xposure about the alleged torture the Moscow Mob inflicted on the concert massacre Islamist terrorists.

Today’s Initials: BOHICA—Bend Over, Here It Comes Again!
Taiwan has had its strongest earthquake since 1999. It was R7.4, it struck at 07:58 local time on 03/04/2024 and the epicentre was 11 miles to the south-southwest of Hualien City in the country of the same name. Just a dozen or so dead and 1,500 injured as the main force of the quake was out in the wilds. But a 10-storey building in the city was left leaning at a perlious angle, to the delight of news media.

Seven aid workers, including 3 Brits, have been killed by the Israeli Death Force in Gaza. Charity work has had to be halted there on safety grounds.
Humbug Useless fails to get author & icon J.K. Rowling busted using his idiotic hate crime law.
Oxford University has banned Tory politicians from being candidates for the job of Chancellor.
If one single drop of rain is Xpected in any 24-hour period, the BierBC crApp will show a rain icon for the day's weather and outrage holiday resorts.
Bier Smarmer is planning to make building of housing estates on flood plains mandatory.

Sherie with another theme
“Don't you just love it when a politician's name becomes a hostage to fortune? Such as a Home Sec. called Cleverly who keeps proving himself anything but clever? As demonstrated by his sacking of the bloke who blew the whistle on the Border Force's failures to monitor who was on private jets and the UseLEZ Home Office cover-up.” Furr Cable
“Same story @ the Royal College of Paediatric & Child Health, which seems to be doing its best to damage confused kiddies & offer the opposite of health.” Elon Nerth

Media folk who are still Christians were upset when the BierBC ignored Easter in favour of Ramadan.
   But it could be argued that the Church of England is in decline here & most people don't get involved in religion any more. And they tend to view it as the Xcuse evil foreigners use for shooting people & blowing them up.
   That's the gangs the BierBC is more interested in promoting the interests of than those of Christians.

The Talibandits in Afghanistan are to resume mass executions in otherwise unused football stadiums with stoning women @ half time to increase the entertainment value.

Customer disservice
The Royal Mail has been accused of a nasty scam on its customers. It is using either defective or deliberately gimmicked scanners to look at the barcodes that go with stamps and declare legitimately barcoded stamps to be forgeries. Which attract a £5 surcharge.
The scam is believed to be a way of putting an end to letter post to allow the Royal Fail to concentrate on parcels, where even more money is to be made.

Today’s Word: encyclophobia
Derivation: from the Greek en - in, kyklos - a circle, phobos - fear
Explanation: an unfortunate condition observed in Injun country during the Wild West period in the Untied States. Takes the form of a morbid fear of being encircled by wagons, even when the earlier Americans are attacking a party of invaders with Xtermination in mind.

More snaffle & grab
Bier Smarmer is promising 'full fat' levelling. Translation—far-Left fat cats will get a shedload of cash to waste on claptrap & the poor bloody customers will see none of it and no value from it.
   One of the things lotz of cash will go on is spreading pernicious political correctness, as this is the primary policy of the far-Left.
   Central to their agenda is pretending that people are interchangeable lumps of flesh rather than individual beings with different skill sets and biologies.

No danger of equality
The WASPI graspers were told about the change in the female pensions in the 1990s, making any failure to do anything about it down to them.
   The taxpayer shouldn't be paying them compenbloodysation until the men who had to retire at 65 when women were doing it at 60 have had theirs.
   But a fair deal for blokes is something that's never ever gonna to happen.
“Just another bunch of far-Left bloody scroungers? Wunderbar.” Davin Regard
Yet another choice
Should we pay homage to the mob that twatted about with the St. George's cross on the shirt of the England football team's replica kit for fans?
Or should we boycott them and hope they rot in Hell?
Decisions, decisions.

The St. John Ambulance charity is reported to have joined the ranks of the flea-brained idiots who think that twatting about with pronouns is of earth-shattering importance. Sheesh!
[Apparently, the official description for this sort of activity is 'batshit'. Ed.]

Worth a try?
The Israelis are hoping to get a Britisch judge to conduct the investigation into the murders of the members of a clearly marked aid convoy in Gaza in the hope of kicking the outcome 8-10 years into the future.
The Pope's Easter Message included an instruction to end the war in Gaza, but there are so few Catholics in and around the enclave that the message went largely unheard.

The low-number TV channels have given up on commissioning comedy shows. The wonks have made everybloodything offensive to some bugger or other and therefore something not available to be laughed at.

Any Time, Any Place, Any One—AnyThing Want something different for a special occasion? AnyThing Eggs can carry your message Or just be a fun thing to give Wide range of designs, custom builds Romiley Celebrations, 112c Riverside Drive

Numbers to ignore?
We are told that just 9% of the criminal ‘community' can be blamed for 45% of all crime.
   We can see that it makes sense for the government to evict TV licence fee non-payers from gaols to make room for the real criminals.
   But sadly, this is too much joined-up thinking for mere politicians to handle. Arse!

The BierBC, we are Xpected to believe, is committed to reporting all stories as impartially as the far-Left, climate criminals, transpicaters & other enemies of the truth will let them.
It is worth remembering that if some bozo or organization asks you to join in their pronoun declaration fad, then it's a good idea to inform that you use only nouns, not cheap imitations of them.

Q: Being ‘proactive'?
A: Having a fix ready for problems that don't arise and not having a clue how to tackle the problems that do arise.

Q: What do you get if Thames Water has access to your local river?
A: Raw sewage in it for 14½ days on the trot @ Bledington Brook, Gloucestershire.

The Wragg Revulsion
The reason why our local MP is quitting Parliament @ the next election; if not before; has been Xposed.
   The bloke representing Hazel Grove (near Romiley) & the author of the failed Wragg Revolution within the Conservative party has been a lot of a twit and he's up to his neck in a sordid sex scandal.
[Is there any other sort? Ed.]
   Worse, he has given the contact details of other MPs to the SoBs running the racket.
   Still, no doubt the hundred & odd grand he'll cop for from the taxpayer will help to ease the pain of separation. And the pension, of course.

Typical cynical politician
Humbug Useless knows that his Hate Crime Law will be abused and he's warning Scottish scumbags not to make vexatious complaints.
   But are the scumbags likely to take any notice of their First Meenister? Joke! And he knows it. Arse!

“The snivel service threat to go on strike over arms sales to Israel 'coz they're worried about being hauled into court on war crimes charges is B*O*L*L*O*C*K*S. They know it, everyone knows it. Wot a buncha wankers.” L.O. Cater

’Elf ‘n’ Narzi Humbug
Useless & anonymous humbugs have failed to cancel the daily firing of the one o'clock gun @ Edinburgh Castle. The ritual, started in 1881, was devised to allow ships to set their clocks to the correct time. It is now one of the city's tourist attractions.
   The humbugs were claiming that this once daily event damages people's hearing. As this can happen only to someone who is standing right next to the gun and not wearing the mandatory ear-goggles, the whinge is claptrap.
Reports from Scotland tell us that the idiotic Humbug Useless hate law has unleashed a tsunami of mockery directed @ transpicaters & all other attention-seeking minorities going.
“Weirdos who want to pretend they're something they're not are entitled to do so but they are not entitled to Xpect anyone else to go along with their fantasies.” S. Mokingun

Owning luxury watches is such a serious crime in Peru that the crime-busters will take sledge hammers to the front door of the country's president to find out how many she has. Fix not in?
People in Japan who buy non-prescription cholesterol-lowering pills are finding out the hard way that death is one of the side effects.
Israel is claiming that a national shortage of opticians is responsible for the failures of its drone operators to realize that the convoys they are blasting to bits are carrying aid for civilians and clearly marked as such. Which doesn't Xplain why the latest atrocity was committed on aid workers following an approved route and why the drone pursued the fleeing aid workers & fired two more missiles at their cars to ensure that all of them were killed.
Waiting in an A&E Department for treatment that comes to late is writing off 30,000 customers per year in Britain.
“And making room for bogus asylum seekers arriving on small boats.” Katan Vigg

Sherie Pulls The Trigger . . .
“One has the right to protest in the UK, we are told. If thousands want to do it, and block roads, they should bloody well pay for the policing & clearing up the mess they leave behind, and compensate the people inconvenienced by the wobbly they're throwing. Especially if the selfish bastards Xpect to do it every bloody weekend forever.” Eganto Mato
“And if the buggers won't pay & turn up anyway to be bloody nuisances, it should be water cannons out and used until the buggers back off.” C. Gull
“Maybe decent citizens can be allowed to pay for a shot @ the controls of a water cannon in the interests of inclusion and reducing the burden on the taxpayer.” J. Cobry-Smog

Research to fit the cause
Eating fish twice a week could** save the NHS up to*** £600 million per year, we have been told by the seafood industry, which has done a survey.
** also includes the option ‘probably won't'.
*** includes the option ‘£0/year saved'

Esso petrol 148.9p/litre in Romiley.
Esso diesel 155.9p/litre.
BOTH leaping up shamelessly.

The proof is too abundant
Humbug Useless is not fit to be in a position of authority.
   He has shown himself to be a product of an oppressive anti-white culture, and his agenda for the police in Scotland is to ignore real crime in favour of confected claptrap.
   Even if the vexatious complaint is anonymous.
“Maybe the cops in London Knut B Arsed to do the job they're paid for if they think swastika flags are okay ‘in the context' of a Pal Pals anti-Jewish march. Sounds like the Police Commish, Sadgeek K'hant' is no different from the SNP First Meenister, Humbug Useless.” King Phin
Sherie Marches On
“No surprise that the BierBC TV news had no room for the protests in Scotland against the Humbug Hate Crime law.” Shed Mygaster
“Sadly, anti-white rachelism is embedded in the Church of England and we have no choice but to let this one valued institution wither and die in its own cesspit of irrelevance.” Sem O'lina
“Talking about cess pits, it's time for King Chuck to remove the Royal endorsement from the Royal Mail and its £5 surcharge on non-counterfeit stamps. It's obviously run by people out of the same box as the Post Office spivs, who refused to admit that their cash control software was criminally defective even after this awful truth had been demonstrated.” R. Bitrage
“If only workers have rights & employers have none, as the Labour party wants, who's going to be mug enough to be an employer? Only someone getting a sub from the taxpayer via a Labour government. And it won't be all that much of one if the wealth creators aren't.” Ven Miran
“Are we really Xpected to believe the Corporal Underpants of Hazel Grove is a ‘Top Tory'? In his dreams. And those of the journalist who's trying to inflate the ShockHorror of a routine homosex scandal.” Limo Pokradniy

Labour's Icelandic/African Ssenneddogg is in trouble for leaping off on an Easter holiday instead of getting on right away with the Labour party's plan to run Wales into the ground completely.

The build up of debt by Thames Water can be blamed on weak policing by Oftwat & government neglect since 2000, the pundits reckon. It can also be blamed on climate change and/or the spread of Islamist terrorism and/or the rise of wokist claptrap.
   But the real blame belongs to New Labour for letting the company be sold to German spivs, who later unloaded it on Aussie spivs, and the rank bad management of the company, which has grown a debt of £20 BILLION by hoovering cash out of the business and failing to keep the infrastructure in good repair.
   It these circumstances, any bail-out funded by the taxpayer would be grounds for an uprising and Westminster Wonders dangling from lamp posts.

Just Wretched
The lyrics of popular music are being dumbed down, the Xperts have found. They no longer tell a story, as those of the likes of Bob Dylan do, they are just much repeated vocal noises which are subordinate to the attention-grabbing musical riff.
[Which Xplains why celebs are being lured into a recording studio if all they have to do to have a hit single is make a few noises rather than do anything musical. Ed.]

Two more fingers waved at the wider world. The UFN has put Saudia, where women don't have rights, in charge of its cosmetic Commission on the Status of Women.
Sam Fried-Egg is going to gaol for 25 years for his crypto-currency shenannygoats, which bamboozled the likes of t.b. liar and Slick Willy Clinton. The prosecution is in tears after failing to get him sent down for 40-50 years.
Go to sunny Spain and be ripped off. Down south, where temperatures routinely Xceed 100 deg.F, restaurants can charge mugs sitting in shaded areas a premium for the cooler convenience.

Q: What can the BierBC do to make an ‘interview' with Angular 'Two Homes' Robot totally anodyne & irrelevant?
A: Get far-Left toady Nicro Binbag to do it.

Q: What does a Labour Police Commish who's complaining about savage frontline cuts do?
A: J. Allen, the stooge for Durham, blew 50 grand on a campaign van so that she can swan about among the customers and rub their noses in her entitlement.

Trust in Politics or They Don’t Like It Up ’Em
If the name is Angular Robot, you can trust her to invent crimes to hurl @ political foes so that her attention-seeking ranting is non-stop.
If her name is Angular Robot, you can trust her to game the system shamelessly for profit and play the victim card when exposed.
If the name is Bier Smarmer, you can trust him to give the opinion that does him the most good without knowing the facts
If his name is Bier Smarmer, you can trust him to tell you black is green with yellow spots if there is cash for him in it.
And if her name is Dodds, you can trust her to follow the Smarmer line & pretend that A. Robot is 100% wonderful irrespective of the overwhelming mass of evidence to the contrary.
   Politics is now the art of the disreputable.
“Our MP has gone one better than Labour's Corporal Underpants C. Bryant if he's been Xposed as Lance-corporal No Pants W. Wragg.” Avinger Laff

The idea of a Labour government ‘fixing' anything needs to be clarified. That's ‘fixing' in the sense of fiddling & creating a false impression.

Police News
GM Police are steadfastly refusing to question witnesses to where Angular 'Two Homes' Robot was living at the time relevant to the sale of her former council house.
The Metropolitan Police farce has accepted that equating B. Net&Yahoo with A. Hilter is not a crime.

Where there is wibble, there they are
In the context of the Church of England advertising for jobsworths for the task of ‘deconstructing whiteness', we have been told: ‘Whiteness does not refer to skin colour per se', by Demented of Liverpool, who has been outed as a CoE deaconess.
   Could it be that she was attempting diversity by including in her definition of those who must be cancelled those of the coconut persuasion, i.e. those who are brown on the outside & white inside?
   No wonder the Church of England is in terminal decline.
“Is it a mortal sin for a Christian like the chemical attacker A. Ezedi to have a Moslem funeral? That's on top of the mortal sin of committing suicide & depriving the Church of a customer.” Des Tination

We need to be told
Who the fucq is picking the people who do ‘investigations'? The Chinese plague circus will drag on for a decade and the Met has spent 4 years already faffing about with the Post Office Horizon persecution scandal without putting any criminals in the dock.
“Will it be better with Bier Smarmer in charge? Joke. Worse is the only direction he knows how to go.” Improper Harperson

The National Education Union has been told to stop twatting about & moaning about what's going on in Gaza and concentrate on teaching kids here what they really need to know.
The rachelist NEU is heading for Net Zero Jewish membership. White people next?

If you don't waste your day messing about with a pocket phone, you're one of a select 10% of the population.

Three-quarters of those surveyed don't trust the Tories with defending the nation. Two-thirds of the same lot don't trust Labour either. Not Xactly a resounding vote of confidence in the Smarmeristas.

Fair’s fair, all or none
People might have a 'uman bluddy right to name their own gender but everyone else has the 'uman bluddy right to ignore their choice if it's obviously a load of claptrap.

WEEK 2    Putin the ‘anal’ into banal

 
No guys but bad guys
1. Israel's response to the murders of yet another batch of aid workers is a joke. A couple of cosmetic sackings as the charity is arranging funerals then back to the policy of targetting aid workers which has already killed getting on for 200 of them in Gaza.
   No wonder people are asking what the difference is between Net&Yahoo's gang and the Hamas.
2. The perception is that if left unchecked, Net&Yahoo will keep going to the Nagorno Karabakh solution; until everyone in Gaza is dead or has fled elsewhere, leaving just wreckage behind. And all in the cause of keeping Net&Yahoo out of court on corruption charges.

DEPARTURES
Professor Peter Higgs, 94, inventor of the Higgs Bozo 'God' particle some 50 years before its theoretical Xistence was confirmed by experiments @ CERN in 2012, which prompted a Nobel Prize in 2013.

Customers should do their best to steer well clear of all Israeli embassies & consulates as Israel's attacks on Iranian ones have made all of theirs everywhere fair game.

Q: Why was Bier Smarmer a total flop as a lawyer; so much so that he had to turn to pollyticks to make a living?
A: It could be because he couldn't be arsed to read any of the paperwork involved in a case, as shown by his rush to declare Angular Robot guiltless without a glance @ the evidence. Which is S.O.P. for a Labour politician.

The far-Left at it again?
The arrest of the DUP leader who was instrumental in getting Stormont back in action again for hysterical sex crimes is being linked to Operation Midland & the Smarmer/Watson attempts to frame entertainers & Tory politicians as sex criminals & child killers based on lies told by fantasists to UseLEZ New Labour coppers.

Dogma, downgrade, disaster
The Notional Truss has been accused of betraying the nation by making its formerly delicious scones veganly with the result that they are now dry & tasteless rock cakes which crunch like lumps of lava.
The poor quality of the bamboo flour imported from China is getting the blame.
The poor quality of the management is placing the organization's charity status in peril.

“Israel's ‘just cause' has deteriorated to the point where the IDF is seen as just another gang of terrorists.” Dev Radget

Putin the blame where it belongs
A significant chunk of the costa living crisis is caused by an allegedly Conservative government allowing BILLIONs of taxpayers' money to be hurled @ woke claptrap & the likes of ‘academic' research into porn in South America. Plus a whole lot of other bollocks confected by far-Left quangocrats & snivel servants.
“How come Hunt the Stunt isn't getting his arse kicked round the block for coughing up the cash for these abuses when we're short of it?” Clinton Shopper

Just pratting about, not an agenda for anything worthwhile
If forced to offer policies which are fully costed & fully funded, the Labour manifesto for the next general election will have Net Zero content.
Renationalization of the railways has been binned as something which will inevitably cost more after a brief gain.
Bier Smarmer has been warned by his party to stop splashing union flags on election literature as it alienates anti-Britisch ethnic minorities and their fans, particularly the Pal Pals.

With the Tories unelectable, is Labour a second choice? No. The Smarmeristas aren't even 10th in the best choice list. They're an option for demented masochists who will start yelling when everything drops to bitz, claiming it wasn't what they voted for, even if their cross went in the Labour box.

Sieg not heiled
German football fans have been barred from buying a replica shirt with 44 on it as the font used makes the number look like a pair of SS runes to someone with bad eyesight & a vivid imagination.
[44-a-side football? That would be a riot. Quite literally, if the pitch size remains the same. Ed.]

Sieg by stealth
The German leader, Sergeant Schultz, has taken the first step toward making cannabis compulsory. Its recreational use is now legal. More to come when the dust settles.
   This is seen as a an essential step in the process of getting taxpayers too zonked to realize quite how much ripping-them-off the government is managing.

Grrrrr!
The countries which failed to enjoy yesterday's total eclipse of the Sun, which started over the Pacific Ocean, crossed Mexico and the Untied States, and ended over eastern Canada (cloud permitting) are planning to sue the Untied States mercilessly for a gross breach of the UN's much disputed equality & diversity regulations.
   Mexico is unlikely to be involved in the legal action as it has not much cash and lotz of drug barons with lotz of gunz.
Local cause for Grrrr!
Yesterday's total solar eclipse was a total waste of time, as far as Romiley was concerned. It was bloody raining, so not even a glimpse of a partial at the western horizon on offer.
   Compenbloodysation! We demand it! Deferably!

Esso petrol 149.9p/litre in Romiley.
Esso diesel 156.9p/litre.
BOTH still leaping up shamelessly.

The Hamas are taking over teaching unions here to promote anti-white, anti-Britisch, decolonization claptrap. What does that say about the quality of the trade union members if they go along with this far-Left bollocks?

Q: If you're a crime boss on the run, what's a good way to scratch your attention-seeking gene?
A: Swan around the world posting reviews of restaurants & hotels with pix of you and your chums works for Irish crime boss C. Kinahan.

Whilst bogus asylum seekers are pretending to be Christians, criminals in gaols are having to pretend to be Moslems to avoid being battered by Moslem gangsters & terrorists. No doubt the Smarmeristas will take the credit for this as part of their levelling agenda.

Number-crunching by the Scottish Tories has found that the debt accumulated by local councils there is 160% of their GDP equivalent—the amount of English taxpayers' dosh allocated to them by the Scottish government—which will be £14 BILLION in 2024/25.
   The SNP/Green government claims that council borrowing is required by law to be affordable, prudent & sustainable!
   Which leaves us asking why Scottish gaols are not packed with councillors & council officers who did a Gordon F. Broon with the accounts and ran up such MASSIVE debts unchecked.

On the one hand, you have the Hamas treating the people of Gaza as human shields. On the other, you have the Israeli Death Force treating everyone in Gaza as being as bombable-to-bitz as sandbags. How much more cynical can they get?

The NHS doesn't work because the UseLEZ management is wasting BILLIONs on non-medical irrelevances & over-priced medical supplies instead of spending cash on computers and IT tech that actually works.

GPs currently have a one-month waiting period for an appointment in many areas. Which gives potential customers a chance to get better or croak, and not require the appointment. Cute!

The reason why the nation's teeth are dropping out has been revealed. NHS dentists are too busy making money out of Botox injections and lip plumping-up to look @ gnashers.

Emergency Declared!
The Labour party's leaders are working hard to come up with a way to cancel Angular "Two Houses" Robot, who has become a major embarrassment, even to a party which is full of them, starting with the leader who backed her without knowing the facts of the matter, despite having been a lawyer.
   Her gaming of the housing system for financial gain, her ludicrous attempts to play the victim card when Xposed as a hippocrite and her plans to give trade unions a licence to keep their members out on strike permanently are just too mucking fuch for the toadying Smarmeristas to cope with.

Can’t win? No, not supposed to
Is employing women wise any more? Calling them a slag in the workplace is grounds for compenbloodysation, the lawyers reckon. Fair enough, but so is calling them glamorous and paying other compliments! But that's lawyers for you.

Football fans are taking the pee out of the Humbug Hate Crime law by deluging Polis Scotland with spurious complaints about rival fans.

Inconvenient Fact
High nett migration has not increased the UK's GDP, which has been stagnant since the death blow of the Brown Bust of 2008. And that's despite a HUGE influx of migrants. Which confirms that the New Labour policy of hoovering up the scum of the Earth was just a massive hate crime perpetrated by the forces of evil t.b. liar & the Mandelsleaze.
“So we're just diluting Britisch values with the anti-British attitudes of people from alien & hostile & oppressive cultures? Wunderbar!” Conque Pow

Romiley View
Yesterday evening's weather map with predictions for the start of this morning was a solid wash of rain blue with a big yellow storm border in the west.
   In fact, the Sun was shining early on and the rain didn't arrive until about half-past ten—and it wasn't exactly a deluge.
below: Apple blossom still on trees that took a good battering from Storm Katastrophe over the weekend and into the start of this week but gave the sucker the yah-boo treatment.

York University is deep in the Chinese regime's pocket & so reliant on income from Chinese students that it can tolerate no truth about the regime's excesses & abuses.
The Labour party is trying to make a virtue out of letting its Scottish leader Anass Aahwaa, support the Humbug Useless hate crime law whilst deciding it wouldn't work south of the border.
O.J. Corbynstein will be feeling quite cheerful later in the year. He dodged the bullet of wining the December 2019 election & having to form a government of losers & idiots. No such reprieve for Bier Smarmer if the pollsters are right.
Judges are to be given a list of alibis for keeping criminals out of prison. Which has to be an act of utter lunacy, given the history of judges for interfering with the law and the course of justice.
“Gaoled scumbags will be back in circulation sooner, preying on fellow deprived people. The Ministry of Injustice displaying its lack of brains again.” L. Afinstock

Q: Are homeless people in danger of being arrested because they smell bad?
A: Given that the police have given up on arresting even the worst criminals, they are in no danger of a trip darn the nick, especially if they really stink.

In his dreams
Lord Blunkett, a sometime Home Sec. who got the boot for abusing his position, is claiming his ID card scam would stop migration. Which leaves us asking how not having ID cards would stop the Border Farce & lifeboats from hoovering migrants out of the Channel. And how not having an ID card would make any difference to the 'uman bluddy rights mob when illegals hold out a hand for a hand-out.

First, the Horizon accounting fraud, and now sales of postage stamps which attract a £5 surcharge as counterfeit. It's high time for the Post Office to be declared a criminal conspiracy and for all of those in charge to be put in gaol for a long time.
   The same applies to the Royal Mail if it is setting its scanners to label legitimate stamps as counterfeit deliberately, and/or deliberately getting defective stamps printed & issued.

Sherie’s Quickie
“If we have to call pregnant women ‘birthing persons', are we allowed to call the people who came up with this garbage ‘stoopid fucqers'? Fair's fair.” Lauren Norda
“Our friend Wragg has turned out to be a real plonker, letting himself be hoovered up by bad guys trawling for preverts. I bet Hunt the Stunt really enjoyed having to play the victim card on his behalf. Not.” Barrel Loada

A former artistic director of the Royal Shakespeare Company has told people who want trigger warnings about the Bard's offerings to stay away instead of going to a theatre to be outraged. The wokists no longer being tolerated? Good!
The confecters have been working hard and they are now less than 300,000 bodies short of boosting the NHS waiting lists to 10 million.
The TV series Roots about slavery in America has been banned from schools for being undiverse & too black-centric.
The latest BierBC crusade seeks to ban the heteronominative. That's an environment in which there is a wide range of attitudes & concepts, not just half a dozen or so which are currently fashionable in far-Left ovoids.

Today’s Conspiracy Theory:
The people who are trying to force greater numbers of the ethnic minorities into the countryside are seeking to put their targets @ the mercy of gangs of killer cows & let them enjoy the Being Trampled To Death Experience.

Fu for their Manchu?
The current informed opinion is that it's more likely the Chinese are behind the Wragg-fishing than the Putinstanis as they have more low cunning.
   Unless that's Xactly what Putrid the Poisoner & his gang are hoping we'll think if our analysts get too cute and assume the obvious resemblance is intended to deceive.

Today’s Question:
Why would anyone in their right mind Xpect anything resembling common sense from an outfit that calls itself Queers For Palestine, huh?

If the government knows about 2 Brits who have joined Putrid's army to attack Ukraine, why hasn't it cancelled their citizenship & their passports? Basically, 'coz politicians of all colours are basically useless.

Straw Poll non-ShockHorror
Putin the Poisoner has more character than Bier Smarmer, said 77% of the respondents.

Q: Why won't A. Robot show B. Smarmer her tax stuff?
A: Because they're not on speaking terms.
Q: What's a good way to panic A. Robot?
A: When she's at a junket, turn up and start yelling about her hippocrisy and watch her run for it!

Q: How do Pal Pals celebrate something like the end of Ramadan?
A: By chucking bottles @ the police.

Not yet 100% MiseryGutz
A Met Office bod is reported to have said that storms are not unusual at this time of year when the latest one started shaking our trees on Saturday. Which makes a pleasant change from all the climate criminal DoomBugger stuff and: "We're all gonna die 'coz of gorbal warmage."

At the start of 2020, a Trivial party peer was claiming that Brexit would lead to Nuremberg-style rallies & the swastika becoming our new national emblem.
   No sign of that happening under the Tories. Or was his crystal ball looking at what Labour's national socialists will do?

A thorough study of Britain's perceived problems has found that very few are due to rachelism and most are caused by minorities seeking undeserved privileges.

A major contribution to man-made gorbal warmage, the Xperts have found, is the heat generated by attention-seeking idiots doing pointless virtue flag waving.

We remain quite surprised that no one in the food industry hasn't run with this, but over 4 years ago, BFN decided that if you can have meatless vegan meatballs, why can't they be cubes or some other shape not involving roundness?
[Like a pyramid? Ed.]
   This gap in the market continues to yawn.
   Vegan non-meat non-balls—when will it happen?

Where we seem to be heading is in the direction of a Punk government.
   Just as the Punk movement of the1970s created a substitute for music by making a virtue out of having no talent and being unable to play an instrument, a Punk Labour regime will create a similar Net Zero version of governance.
   And do it effortlessly thanks to years of practice in the art of doing nothing useful.

HUGE reality gap
"Vote Tory & get socialism," yells Reform UK, which isn't going to be forming the next government. So: "Vote Reform & get Labour," has to be what they want.
   And the same applies to the Trivials, who are still led by the Horizon Hero, Eddie Gravey.
“In that case, we might as well stay at home on polling day as there is totally & stoatally nothing worth having on offer.” Justin Case

Skive & you don’t thrive as well
Shirk @ Home has an adverse effect on the wealth & career development of the shirkers, the Xperts have found. Those who shirk only @ home are around 10% less likely to be thought worthy of a pay rise & promotion in the real world.
   Hybrid shirkers are only 7% less likely to be promoted.
None of the above applies to the snivel service, of course, which provides make-work jobs with fluffy management and is not part of the wealth generation sector.

“If we have a 2-tier justice system substitute, which imposes lesser penalties on those from a depraved background, does the same apply to compensation awards to victims of crime? If they're scum, they get less? It's only fair.” A.L.M.
“If we have a 2-bier political system, which imposes lesser or no penalties on those from a depraved background, that certainly Xplains the free pass Bier Smarmer is giving to Angular 'Two Homes' Robot.” L.G.R.
“Which just leaves the rest of us wondering Xactly how many homes she actually has but hasn't let on about. And whether we should be thinking 2 crates instead of just 2 biers.” H.T.S.

Today, Smarmer is guaranteeing that he will increase defence spendings. But then will come a U-ey or the hard-Left booting him out on his ear. And where will he get the cash from, anyway?

“How come the defectives who put a ‘Starmer Stop The Killing' banner on old Bier's hedge weren't sectioned under the mental 'elf act? A rational person know that no one in Palestine takes any notice of Smarmer or anyone else here. Which makes the banner bunch certifiable.” Yufu Koff

Today’s Question:
If the mental elf Huv Edwards is being paid £439K of our money for not doing any work for the BierBC, how much will we be Xpected to cough up if he ever actually does any work?

++ Beer Smarmer accused by red paint-spattering idiots of personally killing Palestinians in Gaza ++ Labour HQ in London attacked, not Smarmer, who was in hiding ++

Our local MP is being positioned as the Angular Robot of the Tory party. Wm. Wragg [right, charlie] is notorious as Ms Robot for being the first of his bunch to start chucking bricks @ others given the slightest (imaginary) Xcuse & making vexatious complaints to the police whilst being a totally disastrous entitled twit to boot. Which he should be.
“What does the blighter have two of as for Jags & Houses? We should be told.” Labi Rinth
[Obviously not brain cells to rub together. Ed.]

Jobs for the boys (as opposed to the men)
Labour's ubiquitous midget, Wee Streeting, has been lumbered with the job of Xplaining to the public that Labour's claim that it can fix the NHS within the first 10 minutes of taking office is total bollocks. Like everything else on offer from Smarmer's Army.

The Worst Political Alibi Of All Time Award had gone to the Labour apologist who claimed the party has no policies on offer because the Tories keep stealing them! [Maybe that's why the Tories are heading for an 83-strong rump after the next election—they've pinched too many stoooopid Labour policies. Ed.]

Yes, it's a joke
Bets are being laid on when Polis Scotland will get spurious complaint No. 100,000 thanks to the Humbug Hate Crime Confection law.

Negative In-Fitters
A survey has confirmed that Moslems are the least trusted incomers as over half of them think they should be entitled to ignore Britisch laws and make & enforce their own.

Buck-passing
Is it the fault of Boeing if an engine cover comes off one of their planes in flight? Or the fault of dozy bastards @ the airline for failing to do proper maintenance & secure it?

Some discarded Foreign Office Mandarin is demanding that the government demolishes the fine, listed offices in London & relocates the FO to a set of Portacabins in Birmingham or somewhere similar.
   This absolutely has to be done to reflect our retirement from the world stage, the Mandarin reckons, and giving up on the role of educating the natives in foreign countries.
How much of our money will be wasted on this grovel is not something that Mandarins like M. Sedwill bother about, being far-Left & entitled.
Strange that twats like this never grasped the enormous contribution Britain has made to the rest of the world. Too busy hoovering up hospitality and filling their pockets?
This could be why the government isn't bothering to tell the rest of the world how much they owe us—they know the far-Left twats would just waste the income whilst blowing twice as much cash as came in.
reminder: As reported here last November, Slimy Sedwill was sussed as a BG years ago and became known as Sedillwill.

Our fire brigades attend an e-bike on fire every other day. Who is behind this Arson Agenda?
   All of them should be in gaol.

Israel appears to be setting up the alibi of the threat of an attack from Iran as an Xcuse for launching a pre-emptive strike. With the usual backing of the Untied States, of course.
   Whatever happened to that maxim about not fighting on two fronts?

Not Xactly huge as these things go
It has been calculated that the earthquake that shuddered Noo Yawk on the first Friday of this month was about the equivalent of the Great Romiley Earthquake of 1984.
Here in Romiley, we should be braced for another significant earthquake as we have not had one since the end of February in 2008.
   But, of course, we aren't. Mainly because we don't get BIG ones like the one that battered remote parts of Taiwan on April 3rd at around 8 a.m. local time.

Despite last weekend's storm and its overrun into this week, plus a load of rain, the apple trees in Romiley still retain their display of apple blossom. Tenacious, or what!

London's cosmetic mayor is getting the blame for the climate of decay in the capital and the cybersexting traps aimed @ lotz of MPs of all persuasions.
Slushtag^SadgeekMustGo

Wot, we are still wondering, is the point of self-drive cars which need a person with a full driving licence aboard in case the software blows a fuse and does something stoopid?

More court crapola
Q: What do you get if you're an eco-idiot who tries to shut down an airport by buzzing it with drones @ a cost to the local police farce of a million quid?
A: A suspended gaol sentence, i.e. away with it.

Harold bloody Wilson has been Xposed as a cheating bastard as well as a lying one. The sometime Labour prime monster had the politicians inability to keep it in his pants. But he was more an imitation of J. Major, another pale shadow, than of JFK.

The revelation that the UK is the 4th-largest Xporter in the world has given the far-Left DoomBuggers extra long faces.
   So much for the Brexit trade meltdown they kept guaranteeing.

Fantasists’ Corner
All the wibble about not selling arms to Israel is just the usual suspects virtue flagging, given that Israel can get more than enuff death packages from the Untied States with no problems at all and anything coming from the Yoo Kay is entirely incidental.
   But hey, when has the far-Left ever been bothered by common sense?

The town council @ Wymondham, Norfolk (Trivial), has been deluged with derision after deciding to let its snoflake members throw a "psychological emergency" wobbly as an Xcuse for walking out of a meeting.
The Notional Education Union is working hard to turn every child that falls into its clutches into a transpicater. Or something.
The gender industry is finding it increasingly difficult to prevent revelation of what it is really about—just a money-making racket.

Turkey 1 or Turkey 2?
Bier Smarmer, we are told by Pundit No. 1 (self-styled) is more Edstone Milipede than t.b. liar. Which gives us the choice between NBG and . . . NBG? Wunderbar.
“Which means, as has been suggested, that life will be incredibly easy for the 83 Tories who get in @ the next general election. All they'll have to do is loll about on the Opposition benches going, We told you so! every time a wheel comes off another part of Smarmer's dodgy wagon train.” Vanished Johnson

Sherie with a Hot Topic
“There's a far-Left plot ongoing to hijack Labour? Cobblers. That was done years ago.” Kam Pingh
“Rayner is lying, sez an aide. But when do politicians ever do anything else?” Manic Gotlieb
“If she's ever done for all her hate crimes, she'll be gone forever!” Peter O. Dactyl
“If Labour police didn't bust Smarmer for reckless boozing during lock-in, another lot of Labour police isn't going to do the Robot woman. End of.” Furz Ackerley
“Is Ms Robot really working class? Has she ever actually done anything like useful work?” 4miy Kasid
Slushtag^FreePassForScum
[She's a former shop steward, so a 'no' where that's concerned. Ed.]

Want to be a cross-dresser but don't have the time,
the budget, the wardrobe or even the brass neck?
Let one of our Xperts stand in for Y*O*U!
Pick the style, pick the duration, pick pictures of the other 'you'
if you want some, obliging is all!
Romiley Stand-Ins, 111c Riverside Drive

It was revealed over 4 years ago, during the reign of President Boris, that diversity in government means that it is necessary for the number of clodhoppers to balance the number of people who kno what they are about.
   Predictably, the Westmonster Wonders still see nothing wrong with this, hence Bier Smarmer, Angular Robot, Eddie 'Horizon Hero' Gravy, the Wragg Revolution & all the similars.
“When is the Wragg Revolution going to play the race card? The suspense is killing us!” N. Titled-Rayner
“Is there a dafter slogan than 'Vets for Pets'? What else are vets for other than pets?” Nervous Smarmer

Things fall apart
The wheels are flying off for the SnackStabber. Smarmer says he'll do things; definitely, guaranteed; then changes his mind the next day. The SnackStabber is now incapable of taking decisions on even the most obvious ishues.
   Okay, no U-eys from the SnackStabber, but that's worth only about 0.00001% of a cheer.
“Maybe not even that is he won't get us the hell out of the EFU's estupido 'uman bluddy rights circus, no matter how big a collection of clots it keeps on proving itself to be.” N. Dorse
“The ECHR is the biggest collection of idiots imaginable. All unelected & making political decisions beyond its remit. Beyond reform. Get out now!” Animal Lekter
“Smart bloke, that W.B. Yeats. As true now as it ever was, even if the context is stoatally different from his and the First Coming of the Smarmer ain't anything to look forward to, never mind a second one!” Syem Nadsat

Public Service Announcement He's been called the Blogger of the Decade His intellect is matched only by the size of his luck and the size of his bank balance. And yet he manages to keep his Feet On The Ground with the greatest of ease. Do yourself a favour and find out what Xavier has had to say about what's going on Right Now!

WEEK 3    Putin the ‘minus’ into minuscule

 
Today’s Question:
If the Tory party is seen as too left-wing, why is that an incentive to put a Labour government in its place? Something which will be even more left-wing as it will be in the pockets of the trade unions?

President Creaky Joe confirms that American support for Israel remains ironical.
“That wasn't a serious attack by Iran. It was just at the level of yaa-boo, see what we can do!” T. Redmill

Thames Water is unable to pay fines for polluting the enviromint 'coz it is having to pay BILLIONs to consultants for alibis.
The Royal Mail & the Post Office are claiming that all the 'fake' stamps came from China. The customers are claiming that the Royal Mail scanners are as defective as the Post Office's Horizon bogus accounting program.
75% of UK-resident Moslems don't think the Hamas perpetrated any atrocities on Israelis last October, despite the convictions in the Court of Popular Opinion.
Labour is planning to twaternize bus services as a favour to the unions, which will be Xpected to be suitably financially grateful in the direction of Labour's coffers.
The far-Left in Scotland & elsewhere are trying to pretend that the tens of thousands of frivolous complaints landing on Polis Scotland are all from right-wing activists, who are taking revenge for all the anti-white claptrap hurled by the far-Left & sexual deviants.

Today’s Other Question:
Is there a Creepiest Person in the World Award available to the oldest person who claims they sleep naked?

Brexit 50p coins   ONLY £4.50 each!!  Stashed Stock Rediscovered!! Those willing to make multiple purchases WELCOMED with open arms   Hurry, hurry to: Romiley Coin Centre, 102c Riverside Drive

It’s all the fashion now
The Olympic Games is transitioning in Paris this year. It will change from amateur to professional for the top bods.

Dominic Lawson, journalist, doesn't Xpect ignorance to be the quality associated with the person who chairs the Commons Foreign Affairs committee**.
   Where has he been hiding? Iggorance seems to be the only quality you can rely on the current supply of Westmonster Wonders having in superabundance.
[**A. Kearns, Cons., 36, Ed.]

Ayatollah Bunchacommies declares drone attack on Israel a stonking great success. $157 MILLION Xpended on anti-missle missles to shoot down drones which cost Iran $371,000 to build & deploy.
“Was that consulate bombing in Syria Net&Yahoo starting a second front as part of his plan for staying out of court on corruption charges?” S. Crubs M.D.
“An even smarter move would have been to let the Israelis see the drones coming for an hour or so, get into a panic, only for the Iranians to park them a mile inside their own territory as a clear message that they could do it all over again and they might not stop the next time.” Dr. Acula

The world holds its breath over what Israel will do next? Sheer claptrap. There's a world of difference between blasting a few thousand terrorists and tens of thousands incidental Palestinians in a small enclave and going up against an entire nation of terrorists with lots of friends.
   And Net&Yahoo knows it.
   Just enuff retaliation to keep him out of court on corruption charges and no more will be the order of the day.

Dear Met Office:
Thank you for yesterday's sample of your Yellow Weather. But it's rubbish. What else do you have on offer?

“Why is the SnackStabber poking his nose into Israel's spat with Iran? Any Xcuse not to get on with tackling ishues that matter to the people paying his wages. Not that the Labour lot are any different.” Carl Isle
“The eyes of the world are on Israel? Apart from those in China, Putinstan, South America, most of Africa, ect., ect.” Peter Rout

Political Rumour: The Remoaners are trying to bribe Smarmer's Chancellor wannabe, R. Reeves, into fronting a second Brexit referendum by piling on the political donations.

The Trump trial is New York is being dismissed as a crude Democrap distraction from the Biden family's dodgy antics.
Everyone should now have paid their thieving bastard, +5% Council Tax donation for April.
Israel to be nuked to prevent Net&Yahoo starting World War III?
Labour reaffirms solidarity with Iran as part of its anti-Britisch agenda.
What are the stoopid gits in charge of the NHS wasting our money on now? Designs for 21 bloody gender flags. Arse!

Wee Streeting for President?
Labour's minute shadow minister has a cunning plan. Backing the Cass findings on the transpication industry and now choosing not to believe that a bloke becomes female just by saying he is have won him a lot of support in the ranks of sensible people.
[Well, ones who are willing to overlook his position in Labour's ranks, Ed.]
   Sadly, they are still vastly outnumbered by the nutters who will go with any daft idea to be part of a ‘community', no matter how bozoid.
Wee Streeting has been accused of leading the Labour party's lengthy intimidation campaign against those who challenged the validity of transpication, which confirms that his current U-ey is just politics & nothing to do with truth, decency & the Britisch way, and he's likely to switch again if it proves convenient for him. Something which he is not denying.

Today's Question:
If the 'tax advice' you wave about is based on lies about where you were living, how much is it actually worth?

Who asked you to, bozos?
Changing our national flag's colours is being done in the name of refreshing the colour palette into something flexible & ownable?
   What total bollocks.
   Can you imagine how much blood would hit the gutters if the flag nutters tried to do that to the flag of Palestine or Iran?

International child abuse? And abuse of adults, too
Surprise! All the rumbling about gender has come from spivs @ the black heart of it, who are making money out of transpication. An in-depth probe has found that there is as much science involved as you get in the gorbal warmage crap that comes out of the United Nations, the annual COP-Out circuses, etc.
The gender ishue is being presented as a replay of the NHS's contaminated blood scandal. Thus it will require its own public inquiry lasting a decade or so at a cost of BILLIONs. And, of course, all the guilty parties will get away with it after copping for the usual pay-offs.

Q: You fire 320 drones & missles @ an enemy but no one is killed & not much damage done, but even so, you claim a HUGE victory. What does that prove?
A: As weapons of war, your missles & drones suck. And so does your propaganda machine.

Tokenism thrives . . .
The regime in Chechnya is fitting speedometers to all musical instruments & music systems to prevent any tune from being played at faster than 116 beats per minute.
   This is a counterblast to Western rave music, which upsets communist dicktaters, and also Russian military music, which upsets Chechens.

1.84 MILLION Moslems in the UK are Pal Pals and supporters of the Hamas.

There are definitely too many people on The Planet if some are upset by the sound of an actor eating an orange on stage when they are in a theatre audience.

Today's Question:
Will Bier Smarmer ever rubber-stamp government decisions or is he doomed always to rubbish stamp everything he touches?

Copying ain’t just for cats!
Interestingly, political commentaters have started using speedometers on politicians to find out how guilty their response to a question is. The faster they change the subject, the guiltier they are.
Bier Smarmer holds the current Switcheroony Record thanks to questions about A. Robot's gaming the system for fun & profit with her Two Homes.
“For sure, A. Robot is no Nadine Dorries, who's an actual achiever from a humble beginning.” Dar Korder

Muppet & Moron Screening
Q: Is it a good idea for Reform UK to tell election candidates not to put garbage on internet libel lounges when drunk?
A: As it seems to be a great way to weed out the nutters, it's a terrible idea.

Even more screening
If Labour's Chancellor wannabe, R. Reeves, thinks we can pay for the NHS by clobbering tax dodgers, but Bier Smarmer orders her to give A. Two Homes Robot a free pass, how much confidence will that leave for Reeves, the enforcer?
[hint: an amount greater than none will be laughed at. Ed]

Wee Streeting backs sending the police in to stop anyone who isn't spouting far-Left garbage from holding a political meeting. No one surprised.
This is an attitude shared by the far-Left mayor of Brussels, who set the cops on a Conservative meeting there.

“Why is Bier Smarmer suddenly committed to our nation's defences? Worried that Putin the Poisoner will shove him in a gulag after the take-over instead of letting him Klingon as a figurehead?” Chute Green

Comparison of Odium:
Mr. 'Toe' Wragg, ex-Tory, is now seen as the Gollum of the House of Common Criminals.

The headbangers @ Cambridge U. want to stop fishing stocks dwindling by making the naked clam (a slimy, white mollusc found in submerged, rotting timbers) a compulsory replacement accompaniment for chips & mushy peas.
   We could wish them good luck with that, but we won't.
[How come you never get a decent meteor strike where & when you need one? Ed.]
Headbanger, attention-seeking celebs are shelling out 600 bucks for pairs of jeans which make the wearer look like she's been rolling around in mud and just kept the jeans on instead of giving them a wash.

The infants of Gen-Z are refusing to mind their Ps & Qs on the grounds that the custom is unfair to the other letters of the alphabet.

Following the triumph of its attack on the Israeli murdering military, the Iranian government is now hoping that Israel will move on . . . to putting its prime minister in court on corruption charges.

Is the SnackStabber's escalating smoking ban just a Nazi car park? Not if there is a free vote on it, no matter what the far-Left claim.
[Anyone who knows what that comparison is all about is invited to zoom a PC to the usual address. Preferably not adorned with a Chinese fake stamp! Ed.]
“How can the Snackstabber be on the receiving end of a rebellion over his smoking Bill if there's a free vote on it? BS journalism at its worst.” Disgr Untled

Polis Scotland will take no Humbug Hate Crime action if someone tries to lodge a complaint about a swastika superimposed on a hexatwine but the complainant turns out not to be 100% Jewish.
   The presumption is that the PS Mounties will just treat the symbol as a cute bit of graphic design unless they are booted into action by sufficient public ire.
“Not something we have been told about; that only those specifically aimed @ can report a Humbug Hate Crime. Jews, homosexuals, transpicaters, red-heads, killers, paedophiles, Rangers fans, etc. Weird!” Dosvi Peruka

Q: Are we impressed by a claim that A. Robot has actually done something for a constituent, which is her job, a couple of times?
A: As it was probably a minion who did the actual work, not even a little bit.

Interesting reaction from NHS England to the interim Cass Report on the way the handling transpication has been abused. It amounts to "thanks very much for grotting all over what we do just because it's based on wonky science and giving in to pressure from vested interests".
   In other words, right between their eyes and they know it!
“The Cass interim findings confirm that evil people do evil things, and there are more than enuff of them around to let evil flourish.” Ban Kollidy

Angular "Two Homes" Robot would like it to be known that she would be delighted to show everyone her tax advice but the dog ate it.

The Chinese government is believed to be looking for ways to blame the CoCO19 Chinese plague pandemic on Angular Robot.
“When will Smarmer's true part in the Robot scandal be revealed?” P.R. Efix

The Europeon Circus of Hopeless Rejects (ECHR) has made itself an even bigger laughing stock than usual by getting involved in the not-so-great global warming fraud with as ludicrous decree on what governments with no power to do so should be doing to modify the climate of The Planet.

What we do in the UK doesn't control the climate of The Planet. That is an actual scientific fact. Which means that if the legal trade decides to imitate the ECHR and help people to sue the government for not changing the climate of The Planet, then they are climate criminals and need to be deported to Rwanda.

Posh fruit drinks contain 67% to 93% of grossly overpriced apple juice. If people are actually buying them, so much for any costa living crisis.

Today’s Word: Translate
Decide on your death bed that not having your plumbing rebuilt was a mistake. [or vice versa? Ed]

Never do owt useful?
Labour- & Trivial-run councils will waste the cash bonus allocated by the government from the reduced H2S budget to pothole repairs on anything other than filling potholes, a survey has found. No one surprised by this perversion of duty.

Diversity is not our greatest strength. On the contrary, it has been Xposed as a load of vexatious crap by the Xperts. But anyone with more than one working brain cell has known this for ages.

Today’s Question:
Angular Two Homes Robot—just a scumbag or actually a scumdumpster? And an even bigger hippocrite than Bier Smarmer?
   Who's the scum now?

Today’s Science Question:
Is it possible to have seasons on Mars, where there are no seas?

Apparently, the ludicrous Left have been nominating Greenarse Grotter for a Nobel Prize every year since 2019. Still no luck, though.

Four years ago, BMW came up with an electric car with a sound system to make variable strength Brrrm! Brrrm! noises to give the driver an idea of the speed.
   Doesn't seem to have caught on, though, as far as giving pedestrians a warning of an approaching EV.

Olive oil is in danger of going Xtinct due to gorbal warmage (allegedly). Production costs are up, yield is down & prices are @ ludicrous levels. Worse, former punters are going for substitutes & sticking with them.

Sherie Marches Back . . .
“The far-Left must be really desperate for something to twit the Snackstabber about if they have to keep going on about his shoes. Is he really that flawless otherwise?” Logan Borg
“Of course, the Deep State communists are claiming their gang doesn't exist. Why would they do otherwise and sabotage a vested interest by tipping themselves off the gravy train?” Verdig Reese
“There are too many cases of snivel servants making spurious complaints about bullying when ministers won't accept their Xcuses for doing what the Deep State commies say, not the government. Case made laughably easily.” Ken Single

Critical overdose of claptrap
The ECHR's criminally stoopid march into the realm of gorbal warmage fraud is a product of critical law theory, an Xpert has revealed.
   Critical race theory is all about abolishing white people & their values and transferring all of their rights to minorities, no matter how vexatious and no matter how criminal. Similarly, those behind critical law theory seek to abolish all sense from the legal world and let idiots & criminals take over.
“They also wish to abolish responsibilities & duties in favour of bogus rights concocted by the grasping legal trade & self-interested gangs of activists, scroungers and plain idiots.” Merse I. Less

Something to ponder on:
Only the Scottish Tories have opposed the Humbug Hate Law. Labour & the Trivials are okay with it, and the Greens are part of the Humbug coalition.
   Even the legal trade in Scotland thinks the Humbug Hate Law is unworkable & just gesture politics. That's how bad it is.
   The Quote of Quotes: Scotland has become a banana republic with nae bananas.

Are they naturally like this or do they have to work on it?
Talking about idiots, the Welsh apology for a government has ruled that making people work four whole days a week is . . . raycist! And not an abuse of taxpayers, who are Xpected to cough up five days' wages for the four days actually worked.
“That's the apology for a government in Wales where everything in the public sector is worse than the corresponding item in England.” X. Pectorate

Traffic congestion in London is worse now than it was 5 years ago, when the Sadgeek of a cosmetic mayor imposed his UseLEZ cash-milking scam . . . to reduce traffic congestion.

Scottish Crime writer V. McDermid would have us believe that Wee Burney Sturgeon is in the dustbin of history not because she was UseLEZ in the job of First Meenister of Scotland but because of . . . misogyny!
   Well, Val does specialize in fiction . . .
“And she also specializes in rewriting history to make all the women heroes, who were done down/in by men rather than by their own flaws. A 'not me, Govess' approach.” K. Andid

Where’s some honesty?
The chief constable of Greater Manchester has a severe problem. He is seen as an honest and able copper. But he has the A. Two Homes Robot problem. Should another force investigate where she lived to counter charges of local bias to Labour? Or is there a national police bias in that direction?
   Lest we forget, Bier Smarmer was allowed to get away with boozing shamelessly at public meetings with strangers during lock-in when Tories were fined for nothing much involving people they worked with.

Women in the age range 18-30 (one of the variations of Gen-Z) are more liberal, we are told by the Xperts.
   Which means what?
   More liberal with the assets of other people and more entitled to help themselves uninvited?
“Most of the problems of the likes of 'Gen-Z' are related to spending hours & hours on the internet instead of being in the real world.” Dai Agnostic

Esso petrol 149.9p/litre in Romiley.
Esso diesel 157.9p/litre.
BOTH leaping up like Smarmers.

Let The Planet look after itself!
The use of coal for power generation is booming all over Asia and also in parts of Africa, making what happens in Europe even more inconsequential.

Only Size Matters
Israel's attacks on sovereign states (Syria & Iran) don't count.
Iran's less lethal attack on Israel does count.
Don't look for sense here.

Officers of the Metropolitan police farce are attempting to create the offence of being openly Jewish in a public place. Apparently, being openly Jewish when Islamists are obstructing the traffic is seen by the police as liable to start a punch-up and therefore a threat to the Pal Pals.
The management of the Met would like to issue an apology for the apology issued for the apology to the apology that followed the harassment of an openly Jewish bloke.
The A. Robot story about her residence @ the period in dispute has been nailed down. The house she sold at a vast personal profit was her house, even if she wasn't actually living there.
Customers are requested not to remember that today is A. Hilter's birthday.

Sherie Bites The Bullet
“It's a stoopid copper's intervention that's likely to increase the chances of a punch-up by giving the Islamists an Xcuse to stage a spot riot. So is it okay for a member of the public to do a citizen's arrest on the copper for misconduct in a public office? We should be told.” Igloominous Horra
“No danger of Pal Pals being busted for being openly Moslem, of course.” R. Kane
“Arresting the innocent to protect them from violent thugs is an essential part of the far-Left levelling agenda. Good Xcuse, huh?” Con Trapshen
“The scumbags have been arseing about for months but has the war stopped in Gaza? Nope. So what are the tossers for?” Axel Conceal

Q: What do you get if you steal $10 BILLION and do damage amounting to $21 BILLION to Vietnam's economy?
A: A free shot at the regime's Lethal Injection Experience.
Q: Is punishing the Tories by electing a Labour government like bashing yourself on the head with a lump hammer, as a self-styled Xpert would have us believe?
A: It's more like hitting yourself in the face with the spike on the back of an ice axe.
[The message seems to be getting through to those with working brain cells. Shame most of the electorate don't qualify. Ed.]
“If the messengers of the far-Left are saying this, it just shows how much contempt they have for the cannon fodder if they Xpect them to vote for the Smarmer Army blindly, even though the facts, and their own gurus, tell them it's insanity.” E. Normous

The Justice System is not blind, an Xpert has found. Judges are more likely to go along with a physically attractive lawyer's views if too busy, or too idle, to evaluate the evidence properly.

“How inconvenient for Gordon F. Broon, the much self-proclaimed financial genius, it is for people to notice that the price of gold is currently at a record high and be reminded that he sold off half of our gold reserves after deliberately depressing the price by announcing the sale six months before it went ahead.” Con Strain

Every EV bought from China contains spyware, which reports back to the Chinese government, and also a kill switch, which the regime will activate in 2027 when it attacks Taiwan on a mission of conquest to bring the West to a confused standstill as a distraction.

Unsafe in their hands
The Labour Chief Fibologist, S.C. Umbag, is claiming that twaternizing bus services nationally won't require cash from central government. This is either a deliberate black lie or further evidence of gross ignorance of how things operate with the public sector in charge.
“Either way, it's yet more confirmation that only suckers vote Labour.” B. Dazzled
[One does sense a certain hostility here, combined with a natural reluctance to be ripped off by political spivs. Ed]
“Sending Angular Robot to a bus depot was a brilliant way to promote the scam. Which nutter came up with that one?” Mike Robe

Q: What happens if kids in Rochdale nick a police car whilst the driver is busting a bad guy?
A: GM Police identify the offenders & decide to do fucq all about the crime.
Q: What's the cosmetic mayor and police & crime commish, Jonah Burnham, doing about this?
A: Also fucq all.
“GM Police are too busy making lists of non-hate, non-crimes to do any real investigating. In fact, they've probably forgotten how to by now.” Jen E. Talia

Where do they get these characters?
The RSPCA is slipping even further into irrelevance thanks to an outburst from the figurehead, C. Sherwood, who would have us believe that anyone who treads on a snail, accidentally or deliberately, is an animal abuser.
   Donors are now looking elsewhere in search of better destinations for their largesse.

Put a Humbug in charge and . . .
It has been pointed out that if your car is stolen and Police Scotland can't be bothered to look for it, that's just tough. But if you say out loud that it was probably nicked by a bloke in a frock because they are now bullet-proof, that's a hate crime and they can put you in gaol for 7 years.
   No wonder Scots call their First Meenister Humbug Useless.
   And let us not forget that the Humbug Hate Law came into force on April Fool's Day and is a product of the SNP's Zero Debate culture. Nuff said!
Humbug Useless has confirmed that he is a hippocrite by abandoning the SNP's silly claim to be a world leader in the Net Zero game. He has been forced to realize that any SNP targets are unachievable and, worse, totally irrelevant as nothing Scotland does will have the slightest effect on the global climate. Not that he won't try to reintroduce his scams at some time in the future if he's feeling lucky.

NHS waiting lists for surgery would be slashed by ONE THIRD if those who are unfit to be operated on are moved to a separate, preparative list.
At present, customers who turn up and have to be turned away because they are unfit for purpose waste £400 MILLION/year.
NHS England offered some routine wibble in response to the above study by the Centre for Perioperative Care.

Bier Smarmer has been accused of being too cowardly to deal with A. ‘Two Homes' Robot, and of hoping someone else fires the bullet.
London's cosmetic mayor has been caught in the act of raiding the police budget to hire even more minions for his scam confection department in order to steal even more cash from his customers with new scams.
The Rev. Righteous, an architect of Scotland's Minimum Unit Pricing for alcohol, wants a total and instant ban on comic birthday cards featuring boozed-up women on the grounds that they fuel female alcoholism.

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WEEK 4    Putin the ‘pants’ into participants

 
The latest urgent global problem has been described as due to Iranian chin-givers.
[The translation department is still working on that one. Ed.]
The population of the Canary Isles is campaigning to end tourism and the income it brings as they think doing so will put an end to poverty there.
Dave the ex-Leader is getting the blame for the failure to brand Iran's Republican Guards as a terrorist organization.
The Death Force has gone back to killing Palestinians in Gaza after taking a token swipe @ Iran, and Israel, which has form for it, is having to contend with yet more accusations about abuse of prisoners and UN workers.
The fascist Left in Brussels has lost an attempt to claim a legal right to ban meetings & conferences held by organizations which don't accept its twisted ‘values'.
Labour shifts poll taxes to target the elderly. Or something.

Q: How long can a NASA 4-year space mission last?
A: The Voyager program & its 2 spacecraft is still active after 46 years, even though the ancient computers on the Voyagers no longer work.
Q: Why did Angular 2 Homes Robot promise to resign if found guilty?
A: The police of Greater Manchester (Labour) are on the job and GMP's failure to hand over the job to an independent police outfit is telling. Especially is Jonah Burnham, their paymaster, is looking over their shoulder whilst claiming not to be involved.

Corrupt New Labor had a cunning plan to neutralize some of the people who kept reminding the blairies that the 3rd millennium wouldn't start until 2001. By letting pubs stay open for 36 hours from 11 a.m. on 31/12/1999, t.b. liar & his gang were hoping to get everyone too pissed to know he'd bogged up the millennium change and his Millennium Dome scam was just that.
   Didn't fool H.M. Queen Elizabeth, though.

Not something he can deny
Policies dreamt up by Sirk Reepy Steamer, Corbynstein's loyal & devoted deputy, were blamed for Labour getting its collective arse kicked by President Boris in the 2019 election.
   Could that be why ‘don't call me sir' Bier Smarmer doesn't dare offer any policies this time around? Worried about even more blame being piled on?

Bier Smarmer has been accused of ‘wilful ignorance' over his refusal to look at the legal advice offered to the walking political corpse A. Two Homes Robot. He's hoping Labour's pearly princess will choke on a slipped halo?
“In order for evil to flourish, it is necessary only for good people to look away. And who is better at turning a blind eye than Bier Smarmer?” Per Spicate

Can A. Robot claim she is being taken out of context if others are judging her according to the standards Xpected of a decent person as opposed to those of a Labour slagger-offer?

London's police commissioner & cosmetic mayor, Sadgeek K'han't, is getting the blame for putting all those anti-Jewish coppers on the streets of our capital city.
The latest Met Polis line is that Pal Pals are dangerous nutters and that Jewish bloke who was harassed was guilty of reckless endangerment (of himself) by being in the same city as the marchers.

St. George's Day falls on April 23rd [today, Ed.] but it has acquired something of the character of Bonfire Night, which is why some people were taking advantage of the absence of rain to have a fireworks show at the weekend instead of taking a chance on today.
   No doubt Smarmer's Army will have it abolished for being too English if they get the chance, so if you miss this year's festivities, that may be it for a while.

Extracting it to a plan
Q: What does Wee Streeting actually do in the Labour party's pretend Cabinet?
A: Apparently, the health industry includes widdleologists, who come up with things like the perfect pee lasts for precisely 21 seconds. Maybe he reports on stuff like that.

Good only for into the long grass booting?
Sporting organizations are being slapped for failing to Xclude transpicaters from female sporting competitions, which is a clear breach of fair competition rules.
   Just talking about enforcing those rules instead of doing anything is gross unfairness, the offenders are being told.

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The Xperts have found that going vegan is a health hazard compared to eating real food. Whilst the tenant of the body is waving virtue flags, all the unhealthy additives & processing involved in creating vegan replicas of real food are destroying the carcase from within.

Yet more infamy
Margarine tubs for 500 gms of a product are invaluable storage containers for almost every kitchen stock or surplus. And they can be used to freeze individual portions of complete meals as well as stock.
   Which is why those with a stock of them should treasure them as the sinister forces of veganism & climate criminality are trying to abolish them.

Nose out, okay?
Manchester's cosmetic mayor & police commish, Jonah Burnham, the man who takes catastrophe with him wherever he goes, has been ordered to keep his nose out of the investigation of A. Two Homes Robot by the police in case he gets in the way of the job of finding her innocent of all charges.
“If anything goes wrong with the process of finding her innocent, Ms. Robot will have the perfect alibi—it were all Jonah's fault.” X. Pound

Never fear, Sherie is back on the job
“It doesn't matter if Net Zero targets here in the UK are unachievable if we don't control the global climate. It's just politicians trying to distract attention from their failure to tackle things that really matter to the paying customers and are worth doing.” Noah Vale
“Are we heading back to New bloody Labour's ‘government by payday loan' economic ‘culture', as formulated by Gordon F. Broon? Ms Reeves certainly seems to be heading in that direction.” S.T. Raine
“What the government needs to do is stop using taxpayers' cash to house & feed migrants, and tell them to apply to a fund based on voluntary contributions rather than involuntary ones. Then we'll see how much the far-Left really love the invaders.” Pler Gittin

The employment tribunal industry has ruled that only people who are not white can play the race card without being raysist when seeking compenbloodysation on the grounds that everything white people do is bound to be raysist & actionable.
   The object of the policy is maintain the flow of cash into the pockets of lawyers so that they can enjoy life's luxuries, such as a decent pair of Dracula Boots. (right)

The politics of your money . . . When a politician, e.g. a cosmetic mayor, denies plotting to steal even more money from motorists, and then is caught in the act of blowing a TON of cash on a pay-per-mile scam, it is useful to remember a simple maxim:

Maximum Impact Maxim: The bigger the pot, the more a politician can steal from it. If the pot is pounds, pennies can be looted. If the pot is millions, thousands can vanish.
And if the pot is billions, millions can be made to disappear.

Lest we forget . . . The United Nations is about politics, not science, and moving other people's money around so that lotz of it can fall into the pockets of the movers.

It seems to be a feature of the hard-Left that they cannot resist telling deliberate lies. Even in circumstances in which a normal person would think the truth would be in their best interests, they cannot resist dashing off to Pork Pieland. Their pathological aversion to the truth is just perverse.
   The most recent example is pretending that abolishing National Insurance would also abolish the state pension.
   Some berk has told the Smarmer Army that oldies will fall for this and vote Labour to stop it. Which has to be a prime example of the iggorant, who don't know that the pension is funded from general taxation, digging a big, Brown Hole for themselves.

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Q: What's the last thing you should let happen to an ancient building?
A: It has to be letting firebug renovators get their mitts on it, if the Xperience of Notre Dame Cathedral 5 years ago and now the historic stock Xchange building in Copenhagen are anything to go by.

Reality vs Fantasy, the Eternal Battle
What we keep on having to contend with is a collision of the scientific method & the scholastic method. The scientific method makes observations, forms theories, tests theories and modifies them, or discards them completely if they fail to described observed facts.
   The scholastic method, popular with the non-scientific academic mind, accepts a theory handed down by authority and discards facts which do not fit this approved version of the world, no matter how out of touch with reality it is.
   The academic mind clings like a limpet to its precious theories, as people like Galileo found to their cost. Science is duty-bound to accept a change of viewpoint if there is decent evidence for it.
   The Warmists/Climate Criminals use scholastic methods and they are quite prepared to distort &/or suppress any facts which do not fit their views which have all the fervour of a religion and the standard religious disregard for human welfare.

The clothing firm Nike is blaming all the recent bad publicity from major design blunders on letting staff Shirk @ Home. This negates creativity, the boss has revealed.
The Israeli government is refusing to realize that the state is never going to get the sympathy & special status to which it feels entitled as long as news services are using the term 'Occupied West Bank', which reduces the regime to the status of the land-grabbing and failed Soviet Union.
The latest story from Iran is that Israel went bonkers over some kids' drones, not weapon drones from Iran, as part of the Net&Yahoo attempts to stay out of court on corruption charges.

World-Class Event
The Great Deville Appreciation Society will stage a synchronized underwater escape routine @ this year's Paris Olympics as part of the Additional Entertainments Schedule.
   BFN was invited to attend a rehearsal at the weekend just gone and it's really spectacular when the performers are using their illuminated chains & manacles with a darkened background.

NHS bosses everywhere are getting a booting for wasting time & money on futile climate crap & meaningless Nett Zero targets at the expense of patient care, maintenance of buildings and paying a sensible price for medical supplies.
The situation north of the border is not helped by Humbug Useless, the MSP for Gaza North, who wants to fill up Scottish hospitals with Palestinians—to the inconvenience of Scottish would-be customers, but hey! What do they matter?
Virtue flagging about the climate & meaningless changes to how things are done also have a higher priority than patient care in Humbugland.
“Move Scottish bed-blockers to care homes run by the IDF in Gaza to create room for injured mates of Mr. Useless. That would do the trick.” Handin Glove

If anyone resigns over anti-Semitism in the Met it should be the politician; the clown of a Police Commissioner for London; first before the copper, the Met Commissioner.

Is Labour the party of patriotism now, as Bier Smarmer would have us believe? Joke. Labour is the party of hateriotism of everything Britisch and always will be.

Goes Around News
That Falter bloke, who was saved by a mature, bearded copper from putting himself in danger of being bashed by Islamist marchers, is losing the argument.
   He's sliding from being an innocent bystander to confecting victimhood if he's serious about barging into a Pal Pals parade @ the weekend upcoming with 1,500 Falter Pals.
“Maybe the Met should stand back and see who wins the scrap. And make the cosmetic Sadgeek of a mayor ban the losers from doing any more street demos.” Preferred Jones
The copper has been repositioned from Public Enemy No. 1 to a bloke who did a good job of keeping the King's Peace, even if it meant frustrating the efforts of a martyrdom-seeker.

Sherie zooms back with more vital messages
“Prince Hairy clearly belongs to this Labour Pork Pie Club; the bloke who declared that the UK would always be his home but now sees the Untied States in that role. President Trump & what he put on his visa application about drug use permitting, of course.” P. Ragmatique
“It's good to know that Jewish leaders are as crap as other sorts if they're yelling for the Met Commish to quit over a copper threatening to bust a bloke for reckless endangerment of himself but not for the Police Commish, Sadgek K'han't, to go. Even though he can't be arsed to stop the endless & pointless Pal Pals street rallies.” Mol Otov
“Let us not lose sight of the fact that the SnackStabber's pledge to increase defence spending to 2.5% of GDP by 2030 need not take place until 2029.” Charmer Gospod
“If the Snackstabber really wants to protect our country & its values, he could make a good start by exporting all the anti-Britisch, far-Left scumbags to a re-education camp in Rwanda, starting with Bier Smarmer & his sorry crew of shadows.” Dr. Fume Anchu
“Maybe some of the millions of Chinese 'advisors' sent to Africa would be willing to give us some tips on how to get the reprogramming job done efficiently and quickly.” Tak Tickle

Not so much grinding as spinning aimlessly
If Polis Scotland is still nowhere near finding out where the SNP's £600,000 referendum cash went after 3 years of digging, that must give comfort to elderly scoundrels, knowing they stand a good chance of being dead & buried before the Polis have enuff to justify feeling their collar.
   £1 MILLION of English taxpayers' cash blown already. How much more?
The Scottish Greens have been sacked from the coalition with the SNP over its Humbug about the waste of time & money on climate criminality in Scotland. The Greens still want to do it.
   The response was condemnation of Humbug Useless as a political anaesthetist.

Q: Has the nation lost confidence in the forces of Lor 'n' Orda as offered by the Polis of the Metrolopis & elsewhere?
A: When there ain't none, you can't lose it.

Today’s Instruction:
Cancel 'episodic'.
Substitute 'episodit'.
   You'll find it makes it a lot easier to cope with life's annoyances.

Not a lot to look forward to . . .
Labour's Chancellor wannabe, R. Reeves, is being led by the nose by some ex-snivel servant type, who spent his shirking life hoovering away @ the public trough and assumes that everyone else of his generation had it just as easy. Therefore, they should be taxed even more.
“And Reeves is out of the same box; ex-Bank of England. So much for Labour being on the side of the people.” Claud Clawed

The SnackStabber has really upset the mental 'elf charities by threatening to cut off benefits for the workless after a year & depriving those charities of wealth.

Q: Nolan Principles?
A: A club used to beat politicians, who are supposed to do selflessness, integrity, objectivity, accountability, openness, honesty & leadership, but never do.
   It was most recently used to clobber Bier Smarmer & Wee Streeting for getting in everyone's way @ an NHS hospital to hold a political rally for a cosmetic mayor wannabe.
Q: What's that Bogerd woman's apology to the Post Office's Horizon victims worth?
A: About the square root of bugger all.

Israel's response to Iran's failed drone assault has done Net&Yahoo no good. The Iranians just laughed it off and the lunatic fringe of Net&Yahoo's party are steaming 'coz he didn't go berserk.

It’s just more goes around . . .
Wee Sterney Burgeon, sacked First Meenister of Scotlandland, is complaining that she's having a difficult time as the questions about the SNP's missing referendum campaign dosh get more pointed. Ain't it dreadful when you have no one else to blame but yourself!
“You get the impression that Polis Scotland steamed in to Wee Bee's home in Glasgow Xpecting to find a drawer in the kitchen stuffed full of rolls of banknotes, and when that didn't happen, they were stymied.” Enver Ayott

Further evidence that the proper place for a lawyer is dangling from a lamp post—they're taking cash off people who were involved in the Manchester Arena bombing to sue MI5 for compenbloodysation.

China has dismissed the charges against its recently busted pair of spies as ludicrously true.

When in doubt, sell the customers out
Failed business Thames Water—debts of £18 BILLION from a clean start 35 years ago—is hoping that the toothless watchdog, Oftwat, will let them shove bills up by 56% to allow more BILLIONs to be hoovered up for the pension fund shareholders & the spivs running the cash cow into the ground.

The current hot Xcuse for not sending a nasty bastard to gaol is neurodivergence.

Up is the only direction that screwed ever goes
The Welsh Ssennedd is having to change some cosmetic 20 mph speed limits back to 30 mph after a deluge of complaints—over 500,000 of them—about the £34 MILLION blown on this carbon criminal crap, which was not restricted just to areas that would benefit from a lower speed limit, such as the approaches to schools & hospitals, and housing estates.

Panic mongering about the cost of coffee & tea soaring by 50% this year has led to canny customers double-using their tea bags, or combining 2 used bags for a third brew.
   Industry insiders are reported to be outraged by this pragmatism & threat to their profit margins.

Woke is plain EVIL
The 21-gender banner hospital in Stoke, which claimed that everyone is welcome there, was clearly not referring to patients. Its waiting list for operations is No. 4 on the list of longest waits.

Food is radioactive! Brazil nuts & bananas both contain radioisotopes and each emits 0.1 microsieverts. But before anyone starts panicking, that's nothing compared to the average level of background radiation in the UK, which is 1,300 microsieverts.

Q: Chelosi on a cupcake?
A: We think your A.I. needs a kick up the bum to encourage it to stop prattinga bout!

“How come no one jumps on the Pal Pals for being raysist if they think they have a right to boot anyone who looks a bit Jewish? One rule for the bad guys . . .” Rah Beenood

13% of Labour voters claim an English St. George's Cross flag is raysist & should be banned. Doshan Blidas.
“So much for Bier Smarmer's pretence that Labour has become patriotic.” Entitled Edwards
“How inconvenient for friend Bier—people remembering that Gordon F. Broon (Labour) wrecked the private pension system with his grabbing whilst inflating public sector pensions outrageously. So much for Labour's claim to be on the side of all pensioners.” Ian Dunc

Middle East Pragmatism
The object of the Iranian mass drone strike on Israel was to demonstrate the willpower of the current Ayatollah Bunchacommies as opposed to actually blowing stuff up in enemy territory. It was also intended to trigger a buncha threats of retaliation, which would allow Israel to be mocked when they came to nothing.

A Quick Flash from Sherie
“What will the next universal alibi for the can't doers be when mental 'elfism goes out of fashion?” Olaf Ingas
“While we're thinking about that, we have to cope with yet another synthetic generation concept—Generation Lock-In and its members, who are pretty well all child alcoholics.” Bill Ding

Police demand people remove masks when doing a St. George's Day parade but ignore supporters of terrorist gangs doing it during an Islamist street-block. The new Equality For All? Only the right sort of masked traffic-blockers allowed in the capital?
From the Sadgeek to the K'han't,
    Bring on the 2-Bier Policing.
      A nod & a wink & a blind eye
         To all the menacing masks & Alky Ida flags.
            Bust all the rest.

According to the dippy management of an NHS hospital in Cambridge, people refusing to accept its policy of doing away with single-sex toilets, wards, etc., is the equivalent of gross raysism and an attack on the hospital's lack of decent values.

Q: What do you get from a comic opera drag queen doing an act for kids?
A: Demands for a Free Palestine chant. (With every 5 gallons?)
“If it's Drag Queens for Palestine, can we send them there instead of Rwanda?” Serial Brooks

The death rate due to drinking has zoomed up by a large percentage following lock-in but the actual numbers of deaths in various categories remain modest.
   Which is why alarmists are yelling about the percentages in an attempt to get the attention (and cash) craved before lock-ins become history & irrelevant.
The figures for deaths due to breakdowns on ‘smart' motorways exceed the numbers for many age groups of drinkers.

The Labour party has decided that there is no reason for Bier Smarmer to look at the details of how A. Two Homes Robot gamed the housing system.
   Finally, the real reason has leaked out.
   Bier is a lawyer, and they are trained not to see guilt, even if it's staring them in the face, in case it gets in the way of collecting a fee.

Public sector pensions are 3½ times higher than those who were in the private sector get for the same level of contributions as those made by public sector staff.
   This is why Labour is so keen on nationalizing everything—more money going to the public sector trade unions and more flowing from them to Labour's coffers.
“Honesty from far-Left politicians is as rare as sightings of a pink zebra.” Compte D'Alglish

The MP A. Dalton (Labour) reckons that anyone who chooses to identify as a llama should be treated with dignity & respect instead of being shoved in a looney bin.
   Any chance of putting Dalton on the first flight to Rwanda?

WEEK 5    Putin the ‘sin’ into insinuate

 
A 'top Tory' that no one has heard of has gone over to Smarmer's Army. Is that a BFD?
   No, it's incredibly tiny as FDs go.

How strange that Humbug Useless is facing a disastrous confidence vote. If he's upset the Scittish Greens, he must be doing something right!
“That's politics for you. The first time Mr. Useless does something sensible, the other stooges are lining up and yelling that they have nae confidence in him. But will they be stoopid enuff to embrace the waste of time & money, virtue-flagging on climate ishues of the Scottish Greens? Not if they have any sense.” Barom Leeter
[Which, being politicians, they don't. Ed.]
“It's probably no consolation if he ends up out on his ear but H.U. can point a finger @ Wee Burney and yell it was her who created the coalition with the Greens in 2021.” Anne Gwish
“She must have known they are totalitarian nutters but she needed them for the Glasgow COP-out waste-of-time & our money.” Harry Zontal

Let us not forget that the current generation of top coppers are New Labour disciples who think fantasies about Tory child abuse & murder are credible & true. These are the characters who took the Smarmer knee in support of black American criminal scammers.
   They are out of the same box as the captain of the good ship Venus and they go with the flow. Which means a free ride for the Pal Pals when they block traffic in the capital.

Today’s Recipe: Air-fry Argamon
Or it will be when someone tells us what it's supposed to contain.

Oxford County Council (Trivial + Green) has just blown £51 MILLION on a car park with spaces for 850 vehicles. But there is no access road and no prospect of one being built during this decade.
   Which means that including it in a park & ride service involving a bus connection to London ain't gonna happen.
   But that's the public sector for you.

The Scottish Greens are self-confessed progressives, i.e. obsessed with tomfoolery, garbage management-speak & irrelevant waffle.
Wealth in Britain is at such a high level that Britisch kids are top of the child alcoholics league.
Humbug Useless is a broker. That's why the SNP breaks everything it touches.
Enemy foreign governments are filling their spies to the brim with woke claptrap. Which means that all our government has to do to get rid of ALL spies is to sack the woke wonks!
   But can you see our wimpy politicians doing that? Especially not the anti-Britisch far-Left.

The employment tribunal industry has gone even more bonkers. Someone daring to notice that someone else is older than them is now grounds for the ancient to be awarded compenbloodysation by some woke wonder. Triffic!

Not Wanted On Voyage At All
Mhegan the Muciloid is being Xposed as an entitled, bullying wee nyaff just in case she thinks she might sneak back here some day.

Fallen Hollywood mogul H. Wheensteen was a victim of a stitch up by a Noo Yawk court and railroaded by an egregious judge! How strange that he hasn't managed to break his neck in three places by accident whilst a guest of the US prison system in Noo Yawk. Being moved to California should make him feel safer, though.

The head liar needs to try harder
The Labour party is claiming it can't match the Snackstabber's military spending plans as it doesn't know where the money will come from, even though the Tories have explained & costed their scheme.
   Not knowing where the money will come from is not Xactly something which has stopped the Labour loonies in the past, and the Xcuse is just showering Smarmer's Army with derision.
Going from the current 2.3% of GDP to the 2.5% that was President Boris' idea two years ago is in BFD country. It won't make a whole lot of difference to anything when 3% of GDP going on defence spending is considered to be a bare minimum.
“The reason why Labour doesn't want to support our Armed Forces is that Labour is always on the side of the UK's enemies. Any fule kno that.” Anselm Virtue

A Jewish peer is losing support for her race by claiming that a Jewish man can't walk down a London street when the context is the police stopping him from walking in among a bunch of supporters of Islamist terrorism for his own safety.
   But hey, when did politicians ever bother with getting their facts straight?

The peers who tried to block the Rwanda Bill are now being tarred with the rachelism brush. Wot rotters they are!

A Reader sounds his Knell
“Wonderfully shifty, lazy eyelids, over-rehearsed concern, blazing insincerity and relentless self-glorification. The recipe for a politician of today.
   “It's a wonder that such a useless actor as Mr. Humza of the SNP has shown himself to be managed to last for a whole year as the boss of the party before its management realized it had to ditch him.
   “Maybe they'll give the Wee Free lady a shot this time around in search of true Scottish values.” Quirk McTurk

wot you’re not supposed to kno
The real reason why the Scottish Greens are gnashing their little teef is that they were planning to dump the SNP next month but the dastardly H. Useless & Co. got in first with the dumpage!
   The Greens have the hump about the SNP abandoning meaningless climate targets, but also over a ban on giving dangerous puberty blocker drugs to confused kids as they are embracing the transpicaters and every woke cause imaginable. With the support of a whole 2% of the population.

Q: How many Green MSPs are there?
A: Two.
Q: Big fuss over not very much?
A: Right.

“Only the Scottish Greens are daft enuff to want to wreck their nation's finances by dumping oil & gas production on the basis of utter silliness.” Semi Lina

Prince Hapless Hairy has gone to Nigeria to apologize for all the civilizing Europeans have done in darkest Efrika.

Labour's plan to zap zero hours contracts will cost Smarmer's Army the millions of votes of the people who find them convenient.

The Irish darn sarf on their divided island have a different response to having bogus asylum seekers inflicted on them. When a house or other building is acquired for migrants, the IRA gives it the petrol-bomb treatment!

And when supporters of Islamist terrorism invade a campus in the Untied States, the Governor of the state will set the National Guard on them. Not something that's ever likely to happen here.

Below the line mission statement: Some of the above is true. BFN is recognized as a premiere class observational blog and a multiple winner of the OB of the Year award.
   We are constantly exposed to dodgy conclusions drawn from dodgy data by the 'experts', especially those found in the world of politics and especially those at the Treasury and in opposition and running trade unions.
   Some of us civilians at BFN like to join in to let them know that anyone can do it and we ain't impressed by their efforts.

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Created for Romiley Anarchists' League by workers in revolt against oppression to set the record straight in the 3rd millennium. © RAL, April MM24 like anyone cares.