WEEK 1    Xtractin the ‘just’ from justice

 
Today’s If Only:
Sod spurious tolerance, everybody who whinges about an imaginary phobia should be Xecuted on the spot.

Esso petrol 145.9p/litre in Romiley.
Esso diesel 155.9p/litre.
Still going up.

What we're still waiting to find out is how what's going on in Gaza, which is millions of miles away, has any relevance to Rochdale in Lancashire.
“About as much relevance as the shambles in Rochdale over the cosmetic by-election has to any ishues the UK is facing.” Barry Kobama
“What Xactly is the value of the very diverse communities & societies in the UK? We should be told.” Johns Verfallen

More reason to be cheerful
Those receiving an award directly from the hands of King Chuck will cop for an Xtra bonus from June onwards. On offer will be a couple of the newly issued King Chuck fivers to go with the gong.

If Prince Hairy's visa application for the Untied States is dodgy and he gets booted out, does that mean we're going to have to put up with him again back here? Or can he zoom off somewhere else abroad, which isn't bovvered about accepting druggies?
Hapless Hairy has been told by a court here that he doesn't have a 'uman bluddy right to a whole gang of state-paid-for armed guards when he ventures across the Atlantic. The Home Office is entitled to decide his protection requirements on a case by case basis.

Misdirected blame
Ask Gooble for a historical image and you're liable to get a Viking who looks like Mr. T, a Pope picture featuring a South Asian woman, group images of America's Founding Fathers adorned with gratuitous females of colour in party frocks and the odd Zulu warrior among a group of Esquimaux.
   All A.I. generated, of course, using software created by defective 'uman beanz.

Today’s Question:
How Cleverly was it of the Home Sec. to sack the bloke who blew the whistle on the Home Office's cover-up of major security breaches at private airports?

Q: If you're theGrauniad and you publish an article in which eco-loonies advocate attacking the homes of MPs who won't jump through their hoops, how do you get away with it?
A: Claim you publish a wide range of voices with different opinions and that makes promoting criminals okay.
Q: If you're smuggling 6 tons of cocaine to Germany via the UK, where shouldn't you put it?
A: In crates filled with bananas is a bad idea. That's the first place the Notional Crime Agency looks.
Q: What does the Church of England do when it's revealed that ArchyBish Wetby was in favour of making sacked in disgrace Post Office honcho P. Vennells the Bishop of London?
A: Retreat behind ‘no comment'.
Q: Now that the Extremist Court of Human bluddy Rights has turned females, especially menopausal ones, into prethetic victims, when is it going to apply its own equality laws to the next logical target and go after men?
A: How do you know the ECHR isn't beavering away already on this very task?

UnBerkoable
Now that he's got the Speaker in so much trouble with the Commoners, Bier Smarmer can't refuse to nominate Boiled in Oil Hoyle for a peerage when he (Hoyle) gets the push. Not without being boooed from here to the end of the century & back. (That's Smarmer, not Hoyle.)
[Endless distracting complications. That's what pollyticks is all about. Ed.]

The Scoffer's teenage BF hasn't been gagged or cancelled. He sold his silence for £273,846 (approx.)—it's as simple as that.

Q: Is it possible for HUTAgonians** in Parliament to come out of the Sadgeek Whinge about L. Anderson in worse shape?
A: Nope. They have really & truly confirmed their total lack of real-world relevance.
[** Head Up The Arsenal! Ed.]

What has he been smoking?
The Snackstabber's position on the Anderson Affair is peculiar. He's claiming it was wrong to Xpose the failings of a useless politician, which is weird. But he also redeems himself to a certain Xtent by acknowledging that the opinion is neither rachelist nor anti-Islamic. But only as far as making himself look prethetic rather than totally UseLEZ.

Anti-English rachelism is perfectly okay in Welsh Wales, the wonk RNLI operation in the north of the country has decided. So much for observing the laws of the land.

Q: Is the Rochdale election result a nightmare for Bier Smarmer, as Patricks Chrispys of GB Views would have us believe?
A: It's just a minor electoral hiccup. Galloway will be back in his box after the next election, having had Net Zero effect on the Gazzer situation.

3 injured in shooting in Clapham, Crime Commish Sadgeek K'han't blamed for letting London's police lose control of the streets.

Q: Is it acceptable to talk about a body-bag culture in London?
A: Unnaturally filled body bags & the concept of culture don't belong in the same sentence.

Take Two
One drop of Novichok applied to his tongue whilst he was being held down by Putrid's thugs is the current best Xplanation for how the falsely gaoled opposition leader A. Navalny was murdered in Simbirsk.
Good turn out for the Navalny funeral yesterday. Too many for the KGB goons to load into vans and vanish. But no doubt Putin the Poisoner is working on a method of payback.

The latest Prince Hairy manoeuvre is that he didn't take drugs at all, he just claimed he did to beef up interest in his book & sales.
   Curiously, this is being offered by the Justice Department as an alternative to releasing the form on which he had to declare drug use; if any; to get a visa.
   The JD also wishes it to be known that being a druggie is not necessarily a bar to getting a visa, which seems to confirm that something very dodgy went on and there is a cover-up operation in progress.
“The next story will be that Hairy's visa application was misfiled and it has just vanished irretrievably into the system.” P. Sovmined

London's water company shame
In the river, to the sea,
Flows untreated sewage wee.
Not passing through recording meters
Just gushing out in megalitres

Consequence
Has the trend to cancel landline phones meant that those who still have them get more calls from the phone scammers? Including the ones using a pocket phone rather than a company exchange?
   There's a research paper for someone: "Consequence to Con Sequence – a study of telephone fraud trends"

The Israeli Death Force has written off over 30,000 residents of the Gaza enclave, a majority of them women & children. Trying to get to an aid lorry can be an automatic death sentence for one reason or another. According to the source of the report, people are either gunned down by the IDF or crushed in a stampede to get away from the alleged warning shots.

More Pay-Per-View?
The story of Gabriella Rodriguez, the Ecuadorian cleaner, who was sacked by a firm that does office cleaning for allegedly snaffling a Tesco fish sandwich @ the premises of a firm of solicitors, is to become a NeatFlix serial.
   The growing mountain of claim & counter-claim during the build-up to her industrial tribunal claim for unfair dismissal has attracted the attention of the rachelism vultures. At least 14 episodes are on the cards.
The firm of solicitors where the capital crime is alleged to have been perpetrated is getting as much stick for pettiness as the cleaning firm. Both are making frantic image polishing attempts.

Bier Smarmer & the EFU would like to deny that they are involved in negotions to stitch up the UK under a Labour government. Unfortunately, no one is believing a word either party sez.

A majority of its customers has decided that the BierBC is too woke & ludicrously left & anti-Britisch agenda-dominated, and that's why they are no longer watching its news programmes.
17% of the customers have declared their far-Left status by claiming, ludicrously, that the BierBC is far-Right.
A spokes for the BierBC said that it is doing its level best to insult the intelligence of as many of its customers as humanly possible.

If you have power, abuse it!
Most politicians are daft by the standards of normal people, and those on the Left are dafter is the rule. Especially in Wales, where the wonk Labour ‘government' wants to cancel 20% of the farmland as part of a lunatic enviromint scam, which will have Net Zero effect on the climate of The Planet.

The regime in Iran is very pleased with its tactics for elections. Most of the population is too scared to go out to vote, making ballot rigging so much easier. Which is why this year's results were out in record time; there was a record low turn-out.

Blue sin bin cards for football refs have been rejected by FIFA but oppressive regimes are considering them for use @ elections. Anyone who votes the wrong way will be shown a blue card & get to spend 10 minutes in the sin bin reconsidering their choice.

The wheels have come off the Israeli Death Force claim that they fired only warning shots around the aid truck crowds. Too many bullet wounds in bodies & people being treated in hospitals.

The Film Censorship gang have offered further proof of being unfit for purpose by declaring the childrens' film Mary Poppins is too scary to have a ‘U' classification any more. Why? 'Coz the word Hottentot is used twice.

Q: Is Hottentot an offensive term?
A: No, it's just a harmless 17th century curiosity word of Dutch origin. Anyone who tries to tell you different is a steaming idiot who should be dumped down a deep, dark hole until they recover contact with reality.

The Jamaican tourism minister is trying to scrounge half a million quid from the UK by playing the slavery card. Will our government have the guts to counter with a half a billion quid demand for enjoying the benefits of Britisch patronage & technology & civilization? No one is holding their breath.
Despite a torrent of lies about polar bears going Xtinct, statistics released on Polar Bear Day (which fell on the last Tuesday of February) revealed that they are thriving.
You might not know this but the Palestinian Pals in Bradford are claiming that Coca-Cola, which is on sale freely in Gaza, is made on land stolen from Palestinians by Israel and therefore an apartheid abomination.

Sod the Majority?
What we really need to know is how many minority tails are trying to wag the national dog. This might throw light on why something constructive is rarely on offer, and help to apportion the blame for government inertia and failure.

Smarmer's deputy, Angry Angular Robot, is being accused of swindling the taxpayer using the ex-council house in Stockport (near Romiley) which she sold on at a sizeable profit.
Bier Smarmer has absolute confidence in Angular Robot. So that's her doomed.
The Church of England is in even greater dispute after ArchyBish Wetby launched opportunities to have an Easter audience with him @ £950 a pop.
Carbon criminals in the Commons are seeking to prevent overachievements of carbon reduction targets being taken forward into the next accounting period to do damage to the Britisch economy.
Islamist terrorists will cost the taxpayer another £54 million over the next 4 years. The cash will be spent on protecting Jewish citizens from murderous thugs. That's on top of the £31 million going on protecting MPs from the same thugs.
What is curious is that self-styled Moslem community leaders based here aren't up in arms over the excesses being committed in the name of their religion. Concurrence or tolerance? We should be told.

One or t’other
If the Commons Climate Committee members don't know that our allegedly planet-destroying carbon emissions are insignificant on a global scale, they are useless idiots and should all be sacked immediately.
   If they do know this and they propose to continue to waste vast amounts of taxpayers' money & damage the economy, then they are crooks and they should all be gaoled immediately.

Q: Cross-dresser?
A: Someone who gets good & angry before putting their clothes on.

1. The NHS is doing its bit to spare the country the burden of an ancient population by failing to spot cancers in the elderly, Xperts @ University College London reckon.
2. Modern kids have so little initiative & imagination that they are unable to cope with a 6-week summer break from school. Educational Xperts reckon that a 4-week holiday would send them back to school in less of a mental 'elf condition.
   Worse, little kids with snoflake parents are arriving at school unable to use the toilets or handle books. They have never been taught what to do with a boggo rollo or how to turn the pages of a printed volume—all they can do is swipe left or right; as for a tablet; and they end up baffled.

"What we will get on Wednesday is a crude & irresponsible plan."
   Did Hunt the Stunt really say that about the Budget yesterday? Or was it just the listener's translation module kicking in to replace whatever BS the Stunt was unloading?
“Is it possible for this clown to look more pleased with himself? Shame the deeds on offer are never even close to the degree of smugness emitted constantly.” Klaus Romboid

The latest Xcuse for the Sadgeek London mayor is that he can't be under the influence of the Pal Pals as he does only things that have a direct benefit for himself and the interests of other people, especially the ones paying his wages, are entirely irrelevant to him.

Some payback
Labour MPs who encourage Islamist terrorists to attack anyone who gets in their way will have to fund their own bodyguards, giving the taxpayer a welcome break.

Q: Is there a better way to waste time than trawling through millions of libel lounge messages about the break-up of a pair of uncoupled actor-persons such as J. Depp and his insanitary ex?
A: It would be difficult to come up with one.

Lakes of Snof
The NHS has blown tens of millions of pounds on kids with ARFID or Picky Eater Syndrome as they are refusing to eat things that provide them with essential nutrients.
   This is seen as yet another manifestation of Snoflake Syndrome, which is on course to wipe out the 'uman race by 2164.
[Good news for the rats, then! Ed.]

Exposure of the institutionally anti-Jewish agenda @ the BierBC could be going in an interesting direction, the Xperts have concluded. It is not entirely beyond the bounds of possibility that the BierBC will eventually be blamed for starting the war in Gaza.

Group Insanity?
The North Yorkshire police farce has felt the need to do a grovelling apology to the country's homosexualists for no apparent reason.
   The performance of the two senior officers is being likened to a hostage video, in which they are surrounded by bad guys with guns, who are kept out of shot.
   Nothing in a way of an apology to all the people who were ignored after being burgled, having a car or a bike stolen, etc., of course.

Leadership being flushed down the tubes?
The Big Problem @ the Ministry of Defence is that it is staffed by airhead civilian twats, who are trying to promote levelling up & undermining the command structure & the authority of the officer class.
   Typical is the ‘had to be abandoned' airhead plan to downsize officers' accommodation and grot all over the concept of rank hath its privileges. As opposed to the code of the snivel service, where money & merit are not linked.

A. Navalny was murdered in Siberia as a deal to swap him for a Putinstani hitman gaoled in Germany & 2 other bad guys was about to happen. Putin the Poisoner could not bear the thought of his enemy escaping his clutches.

The way it will go
Internet companies which effectively steal news they didn't buy from the organizations which record it are going to have to take an Xtra step if they don't change their ways.
   If all the news providers go bust, the abusters' A.I.s will have to invent content to space out the adverts on their websites & crApps. The big question is whether their punters will notice any difference, given the amount of BS and invention already in circulation.

Some of the host of libel lounges are already working hard to create a post-truth online meeja age, especially those controlled by enemy countries on the other side of the world.

Pay without responsibility?
The ancient Labour MP Harridan Harperson is getting showered with derision for advocating Skive @ Home for MPs, using the Pal Pals as an Xcuse. No sign of a ringing endorsement from Bier Smarmer as it wasn't something his spinsters came up with.

Shirk @ Homers are advised to blow on the wine in their mug during a video conference to make the Work @ Workers think it contains hot tea or coffee.

The best way to upset female entrepreneurs, a survey has found, is for blokes in the same trade to wear a gilet; dark blue rather than the yellow or green favoured by the Vest Pests of the EFU.

“Why is Aston Martin pushing the launch of a snazzy electric car back to 2026 because it doesn't roar like a petrol car? Shocking failure of imagination. All they have to do is install speakers connected to the speedometer to give it a roar that increases as it goes faster.” Ian Stig8

Q: Why is it important for theatres to create a space where black theatre-goers can Xplore complex, nuanced, race-related ishues without white people present?
A: So that the black theatre-goers can shove cash into the pockets of the wise guys who came up with the gimmick.
[The bloke wot wrote the play currently being twitted mercilessly is a wonk, his interviews confirm. Ed.]
Q: Why is reticence about health ishues on the part of the Royal Family a problem for scribes doing gossip about the Royals?
A: It makes them struggle to find something to put between the adverts if they can't rehash press releases.

’Tis ever the season for Lakes of Snof?
Prethetic snoflake students @ Glasgow University are doing a mega whinge about having to do exams in person with university monitors instead of @ home, where they can cheat.
   Not being able to Squat @ Home makes the poor darlings feel anxious & sad, and in need of a special course to teach them how to do exams @ their place of education.
“Nothing learnt from doing exams @ school, then?” Feyn Oord

Advice for Budget Wednesday

Esso petrol 145.9p/litre in Romiley.
Esso diesel 156.9p/litre.
The rip still in the direction of off.

Transpicater Terror
The BierBC & theGrauniad would like us to believe that a murderous bloke got up to look like a woman is female, presumably as part of their prejudice that only transpicaters matter.
   Surprisingly, our wonky justice system has got it right for once by sticking the killer in a male prison.

They're at it again. The comic opera prosecutors in the Untied States reckon they can put Sam Fried-Egg, who blew billions of crypto currency, in gaol for 110 years. Compared to the 5.5-6.5 years his lawyer is offering for a deal.
“Guess who won't be volunteering to guard the rotting corpse when the guy croaks in his cell.” Derek Relik

£15 MILLION per day. That's what the illegal immigrants now cost the Britisch taxpayer. Something else to thank the ludicrous far-Left for.

If you need to shoot someone and you want plenty of time to get away, do it in Perthshire, where Police Scotland can take 6 days to discover that someone found dead was shot.

The lawyers who got Marsman Musk's $57 BILLION pay deal blocked have got their hands out fo $6 BILLION in fees.
“Sounds like grounds for dumping in the deep, dark hole. Or even a firing squad pour encourager les autres.” Johns Teed

This sounds like an offence against mindless equality pandering, but women cannot be trans-women because they are female and ineligible biologically. This was pointed out by an actual woman.
“Maybe the trans label should be binned in favour of pretend-women & pretend-men.” Ensel Vier
“Which will be assigned the pronouns per and pe respectively.” Mostyn Lane

Upsetting the right targets
Redefining Xtremism as undermining traditional Britisch values is being interpreted as an assault on the far-Left, which rejects these values completely, and the likes of the Just Snotters, Islamist haters, lunatic Greens, decolonizers & every other nutter community going.

Q: Are we surprised that the Rwanda parking scheme for uninvited migrants will cost 300 times more than the original guess?
A: In view of all the cartoons which include this scam and H2S, no one Xpected anything else from 'The Government', which is notoriously bad at doing anything useful at an affordable price. And on time.

Look under your car
The strident & bullying Pal Pals are now seen as the equivalent of the IRA, as far as the safety of Members of Parliament is concerned. Even Labour's scummiest bags are realizing that advocating lynching Tories is just not on; or they're pretending it's nokay.
   Head teachers have had to be reminded that letting kids skive off skule to join in demos & marches by vexatious pests is illegal.

Israel is being accused of cynicism for bombing Gaza to prevent the Hamas bosses from knowing what's going on there and then demanding lists of names of the remaining prisoners who are still alive.

Facts, schmacts
No surprise that the Thames Valley Police farce thinks it's reasonable to claim that a murder by a pretend-woman was perpetrated by a female and it can distort its statistics accordingly.

“It's criminal the way bosses of the RNLI let down the volunteers who risk their lives going to sea in a lifeboat to save those in peril on the deep. 300 years of good work and all the volunteer lives lost tarnished by woke idiots.” Zes P. Cater

The Democraps in the Untied States have had a smack round the back of the head. The states controlled by them which attempted to keep D. Trump out of the presidential election have been told that only Congress can do this, not moaning minnows.

Q: Is 12.5% of the world's population being o'bese a Good Thing?
A: Think of all the carbon that's been captured out of the enviromint by all that flab.

Swami Chuckabutty, Labour's anti-Semitism whitewasher with a tainted peerage, struck a blow for diversity by confirming that talking bollocks doesn't entail having bollocks and it isn't something exclusive to male politicians.
[from BFN for September 2019, when we were also in the run-up to a general election. Ed.]

The bosses of the RAF are being accused of joining Team Putrid after deciding to scrap 30 Tornado fighter planes which have only 40% of their design life on the clock.
Marks & Sparks is reported to be terrifying shoppers with displays of weird zombie chocolate animals instead of Easter Eggs.
[End of this month, Easter. Ed.]
Researchers using A.I. have invented a brand new form of prostrate cancer. The work is aimed at applying the correct treatment to a particular strain of the disease to prevent side-effects, e.g. impudence, caused by unnecessary treatments.
Who would you trust to make useful suggestions for improving the police & prison service? The BierBC gave the job to a crap rapper. Which shows how seriously the ludicrous Left takes social ishues.

It's all very well for the people making money out of the NHS to beef about a lack of continuity of care if people don't see the same doctor every time they go for a consultation. But the real ishue is getting to see a doctor in the first place, any doctor, when you need one.
“And A.I. systems should be able to offer as much background information as a GP needs for a consultation. Eventually.” Allin Missive

The Cancel Culture has all the moral values of kicking a corpse.

In case anyone is wondering, the Ayatollah Bunchacommies & his party won the election in Iran. Just as Putrid the Poisoner is about to win in Putinstan.
The Militant Moslem Party will be seeking revenge on the Labour party, which booted out their leader, G. Galloway, for opposing New Labour's illegal war against his best buddy, S. Hussein, then the dicktater of Iraq.

“Why are people bothering to complain about the 20 mph speed limit in Wales? The place is run by Labour, which means it's bound to be crap and everyone knows it.” Per I. Meter

Public Service Announcement He's been called the Blogger of the Decade His intellect is matched only by the size of his luck and the size of his bank balance. And yet he manages to keep his Feet On The Ground with the greatest of ease. Do yourself a favour and find out what Xavier has had to say about what's going on Right Now!

WEEK 2    Putin the ‘fun’ into his funeral (we wish!)

 
Today’s Question:
Why was the Visa fraud department calling me on a mobul phone about a £900 payment on my Visa card when I don't have a Visa credit card?

Some BierBC goon called Packman thinks advocating attacks on the homes of MPs by Islamists, Just Snotters and other evil elements is a great way to get himself noticed.

First, do all the evil you can manage?
The bosses of the CoE have been accused of being anti-Christian & rachelist by claiming that white people are evil for spreading the Christian message in the dark corners of the globe & black people are stoopid mugs if they bought it.
“Wetby has become the Creaky Joe of the CoE. Time to put him put out to grass. And his gang of slavery virtue-flaggers.” Ek Strammo
“With a touch of the O.J. Corbynsteins if he thinks there's a Magic Money Tree that can drop a billion quid into his begging bowl.” Ivan Katrump
“And a touch of the Gordon F. Broons if he's going to use it to buy friends in Africa.” Hol Stegren

Favoured Minority
The reason why Labour & other far-Left parties are not bovvered about being seen to be anti-Jewish is there are more votes to be hoovered up from Islamist terrorists & their stooges, grooming gangers & other anti-Britisch elements.
   Mehmetverasty always triumphs over Wycoverasty by strength of numbers and the grievance count.

Bier Smarmer offered something prethetic about the Budgie. No one surprised.
Smarmer is getting the blame for losing the seat in Rochdale. He made the election all about Gaza rather than local and national Britisch ishues, and got his face slapped by the ungrateful electorate and his nose punched by Islamist Xtremists.

Lest we forget
H2S isn't a failed Tory project. It was wished on us by Lord Adonis of New bloody useless Labour.

G. Galloway, MP now, honcho of a party of 1, is promising to massacre Labour candidates in every constituency with lotz of Pal Pals voters @ the next general election.
“Oh dear, how sad, never mind.” Drew A. Blanque
“George, like Smarmer, is a typical politician; long on chat but nothing worthwhile will ever come of it.” Fred Bearly
“Angular Robot will be no loss. And Smarmer will agree with that!” G. Oldarn

Not me, Gov!
Hunt the Stunt has a good alibi for delivering a flop of a budget. He did what the far-Left quango the Office for Budgie Responsibility ordered him and the Snackstabber to do.
   Everyone knows that the OBR has a long and undistinguished history of getting its forecasts for the economy hideously wrong. But that just doesn't seem to matter. Why politicians listen to the OBR is a major mystery. Kidnapped grannies on an industrial scale?

Home Sec. J. Cleverly has been ordered to change his name. He violates the Trade Descriptions Act by being the Xact opposite of clever.

At the Mountains of Madness?
The chorus of indignation just won't stop. ArchyBish Wetby is being accused of thinking he's Gordon F. Broon if he imagines the Church of England's members are going to part with a BILLION QUID for him to blow on slavery apology bollocks.
   More sensible Christians are telling him that ancestral guilt is garbage and nothing to do with the Church, and Christians aren't allowed to be rachelist anyway, so he's a total nutter.
“One destined to preside over the collapse of all the rural churches deprived of a building fund to pay for however much of his mad attention-seeking scam he manages before being shoved in a looney bin.” Derry Likshun

Packman, the friend of the loonies who want to attack the homes of MPs, has been disowned by the source of his income, the BierBC. He's not employed by them, the company sez, he just works there.

Painting Slashers for Palestine.
   Really?
Bring back the death penalty for scum that do this. Burning @ the stake would be appropriate.
   Or medical vanishing.
[The scumbag is handed over to the medical trade in China, where the carcase is harvested for organs and anything of any use. Ed.]
Feminists for the Hamas? Has someone put something in the water supply to reduce females to such a state of idiocy?
“When it was Nazis vs Stalin's Sovyetskis, that was seen as one lot of bad guys vs another. Same perception for Gaza now.” Herts Likell

Bier Smarmer’s Budget comment
He told us that this is the last piece of desperation out of a party that has failed.
   The Tories must now step aside and let Labour show the nation what truly epic failure is all about, is his message.
The above is being taken as a reference to New bloody Labour taking a nation with a balanced budget into a £1 TRILLION Brown Hole of debt. Bier Smarmer clearly thinks he can go a hell of a lot deeper.
The SNP received an official vote of thanks for calling a vote; something that doesn't usually happen; after the Chancellor's speech and letting 50% of the Commoners skive off and avoid Bier Smarmer's subsequent droning dirge.

Q: Dynamic pricing?
A: The rip will be in the direction of off.

Slick Willy Clinton's White House sexmate, M. Lewinsky, is putting herself about big time. Must be money in it.
“Maybe she can do a double act with that other attention-seeker of the moment, G. Galloway. Him in his cat suit and her bossing him about in a bright red frock.” N. Trapment

Warning: Stay well away from mobility scooters. Many are ridden by total incompetents and if they kill someone, the police won't lift a finger. Like they don't.

Not very Cleverly, really
The French may be totally crap @ stopping migrants from sailing here but they are great @ chucking out vexatious scumbags. Shame all our lot can do is make noises about doing the same. And migrants who form rape gangs and attack children are not deported by the UseLEZ Home Office.

Twat of the Week:
It has to be the outdoor clothing firm which offers a 40% discount to people who are prepared to put up with an hour of anti-white BS & accusations that white people prevent bods of colour from visiting the countryside.
“Why don't they just round up busloads of those with a darker skin colour and zoom them off to the countryside and stop twatting about?” Relin Yorn

Islamaphobia is a bullshit word when used as an Xcuse by violent Xtremists and their stooges. We're not in fear of Islam itself. It has Net Zero relevance to those who don't do religion. But we are worried about the nutters who copy the IRA and claim it gives them the right to kill anyone who gets in their way.

Rat’s RoundUp
The BMA's members, all 190,400 of them, have kicked in an average of £2.41 each to a fund to boost the income of striking Jr.Docs. Times is really hard?
Bad regulation planning by the Home Office is helping scammers to charge mugs millions for visas that let them work in the crisis-hit care sector. An ability to speak Englisch is not required.
The EFU has slapped a £1.5 BILLION fine on Apple for anti-competitive shenannygoats in the music-streaming business that make the mugs pay well over the odds.
Trust the Labour spokes on culture to claim that hearing Rule, Britannia makes the anti-Britisch far-Left feel alienated & Xcluded.
   Good!
SNP First Meenister Humbug Useless, who has multiple connections to Gaza, is in trouble for not staying the hell away from decisions on giving English taxpayers' money to UN charities which service the enclave. That's decisions on which agency and how much.

Copycatting can be okay
The government is making noises about Xpelling Islamist hate-preachers after the French showed it can be done with despatch. But like it will ever happen here, given the institutional uselessness in the Home Office.
“Lest we forget, this is the same Home Office that won't let illegals get the hell out of the UK if they realize they got a better consumer deal in France.” Solen Pflug
“And the same Home Office that lets the police ignore a 500% increase in shoplifting.” Adenshad Barcol

In October 2019, a correspondent asked if SpaceX honcho E. Musk would put human beans on Mars by 2024. The response was that he was having a giraffe.
   Nice to be proved right.

Q: What's so great about these bon smots the French are supposed to have?
A: Check the interweb for bons mots.

All this guff about the IRA insider Stakeknife is hopelessly contaminated with hindsight and totally worthless. Worse, the view of a spy industry insider is that in the same circumstances in the future, Xactly the same would happen.
   The relatives of people who were killed by the IRA have a beef with the terrorists and should focus on them.

The flags not put out
No cheers and escorted by 2 press-ganged Xisting members when Jihadi Galloway was sworn in @ the House of Common Criminals.
   The microns of the meeja continue to treat him as a person of interest. Which doesn't say much for the 649 other inmates, if they are ignorable.

The Office for Budgie Responsibility, which is notorious for making totally crap guesses about the economy, has declared Hunt the Stunt's efforts a total disaster even though it got the credit for directing them. Dig the logic out of that!
Labour is complaining the Stunt snaffled their trick of giving with one hand and grabbing more back with the other.
If the OBR is right about people being £200 worse off than they were in 2019, when this Parliament began, that means that almost all of the damage done by the Chinese plague has been repaired. Which is a truly heroic achievement.

The Pope is getting a booting for telling Ukraine to let Putin the Poisoner take over.
The climate criminals are claiming a modern times world record for the February 2024 temperature. Which is not all that impressive when you realize that El Niño is at work in the eastern Pacific and 'modern times' in relation to the history of The Planet is less than a shake of a rat's bum.
Will local councils do as they've been ordered by the Chancellor and deliver services instead of wasting our money on woke crap? No breath being held.
Our Snackstabber PM is being mocked for doing a perfunctory rant about the far-Right when he was getting tough after the bad guy won in the Rochdale by-election.
   Strange that his minions in the alleged security sector haven't tied him down and told him the actual threat comes from the far-Left, that Irish & Islamist terrorists are doing all the killing.
“Maybe he's trying to convince us that this brand of fascist has taken over as the really dangerous national far-Right cult of the moment.” Alf Rescoe

Blat Stat:
There are more people in Britain who went to a public school than those who embrace Islam.

A Poisoned Twig Award goes to Whinger Killerbee, a bloke chopped about to resemble a woman, for his attempts to bully the famous Scottish author J.K. Rowling by reporting her to the police for a hate crime as part of some prethetic victimhood-seeking.

Sherie stacks up some more views
“Has it been confirmed that the nation's police farces have the cleanest hair in the known world? They always seem to be washing it when some gang of hate criminals or useless nuisances is getting in everyone's way.” Modesta Mount
“The Killerbee has been told that he's got nothing. No hate crime by J.K. Rowling, say the polis. His whinge against her is just vexatiousness and more bullying.” End Evermorse
“What's all this crap about cyber-bullying? Got off the effin' internet and do something worthwhile instead of playing the victim. Libel lounges are for mugs & masochists.” Tel Emmitry
“Moron that story sums up all the garbage about the Princess Kate Mother's Day photo.” Norah Clue
“Labour to ban happy family photos?” Mox Lee
“The best guess is that at least one of the kids is pulling a face in all the photos Prince William has taken and a mush had to be swapped.” Con Tinue

Bidengate
Why is Creaky Joe going for a second term as POTUS? He might not know it but his dodgy family knows it's the only way to stay out of the nation's courts.
   Joe himself is probably safe as a doolally old bloke who don't know nuffing about nuffink no more, but his son doesn't have that Xcuse.

Our Snackstabber PM is very concerned. But he won't be doing anything about whatever it is that's concerning him.

The term ‘gender identity' has been discarded in favour of the description ‘gender incompetence' as an acknowledgement that ideology & money are the driving forces here, not science.

Just stop all the twatting about
Princess Kate did a bit of editing to a photo taken by her husband. BFD.
   News agencies started pretending something sinister had happened. Twats. No danger of these Willy Wonkys behaving like grown-ups as that would be a real, genuine BFD.
   Did Kate do anything wrong? Nope.
“This is a very small deal and it is stoopid to pretend otherwise. Not that this consideration ever checks the outrage confecters. That's something else said here before.” Mick McMuckle

Q: Should the residents of Milton Keynes be upset if the BierBC portrays their progressive new town as a total dump with wall to wall criminals booted out of the East End of London in a time-slot-filler TV soap?
A: A) It's the BierBC, which is crammed with ludicrous Lefties who kno nothing about what's going on. B) The filler soap is fiction and nothing to do with reality.
The sleaze-shamed BierBC is saying nuffink and hoping the whole thing just goes away.
“No danger of a better programming job on the A.I. that does the soap?” Egon Toast

Back in 2019, BFN revealed what the people in Mexico get up to when their mayor fails to deliver on promises. They tie the bozo up and drag him about a bit behind a truck.
   Something for Londoners to consider for Sadgeek K'han't?

The boss of the Post Office has been accused of telling deliberate porkies to inquisitive MPs on @ least 2 occasions. Nothing is Xpected to come of it, though.

The U.B.s** are getting too much slack
There is no hope for the future. Kids doing what they think is creative writing are churning out wonk bullshit & stuff about transpicaters instead of normal people. And not-so-great gorbal warmage fraud, of course.
[**Useless Buggers—the ones in the education industry. Ed.]

ArchyBish Wetby is in trouble for rachelism & white privilege attitudes for claiming that Rwanda (black, African) isn't a safe place to dump uninvited migrants.

20% of US voters don't think Creaky Joe is too old & decrapit to be their president. Allegedly.

Revived Thought
If things like a BierBC list of the country's most inspiration women need a paragraph for each of the contestants as not many people have heard of them, how does the word ‘influential' come in to it?
[We've been here before and we seem doomed to keep coming back. Ed.]

Q: What do you get if you hold up a placard with the message ‘Hamas are terrorists' in London?
A: Assaulted & arrested by the Met Polis, then de-arrested when the Met finds itself being showered with derision after the videos go viral, the news meeja start asking awkward questions and the 'uman bluddy rights industry takes a keen interest in dragging the Met into court for abuse of them there rights and demanding compenbloodysation.

Q: What sort of a useless pillock of an alleged actor won't play someone like D. Trump 'coz he can't see any good in him?
A: R. De Niro, an American person, who has failed to grasp the concept of ‘acting'.
“Not that he's ever be asked. He's all wrong for the Trump role, which makes the whinge just routine attention-seeking.” Melton M'obrey
“Too much competition from Mhegan the Muciloid & not enuff attention going his way? Tough!” Harvey Dee

Holocaust events, like the recent one in Amsterdam, are now a major headache for police forces as they attract huge gangs of Pal Pals yelling about Israel holocausting the Gaza enclave.
The Pentagon has been chewing over UFO reports covering the best part of a century and has not been able to detect a scrap of actual evidence of visiting creatures from another planet. And all the crap about the US government & US companies reverse-engineering bitz of alien tech is just crap.
The usual suspects are either raising doubts about the authenticity of a UFO spotted in the background of the latest Royal picture of Princess Kate and her kids or trying to stir up a panic about it.
The SNP seems to have a talent for picking the worst person in the world for a job. A prime Xample is the current women's health minister, who is moaning that giving compensation cash to women damaged by mesh implants will deprive the NHS of vital funding.
“No danger of cutting waste & woke, then, to bridge the gap?” Amil Yonits

The Stakeholders are to blame
Quote: "Poorer people are drinking a third more alcohol since Minimum Pricing was introduced." That's in Scotland under the dead hand of an unholy meld of SNP and Greens in the devolved parliament there.
   Sounds like the word ‘poor' is in urgent need of redefinition to Xclude people with lotz of dosh to chuck @ booze.

Yet more non-news
Typical far-Left BS—theGrauniad trying to get the Tories to return £10M in donations by playing the race card because the donor didn't think Diane ‘Abbacuss' Abbott is any sort of advertisement for her racial grouping about 5 years ago.
   That's not rachelism, that's just the plain truth about one single woman, who's on the public payroll despite being a notorious figure of fun.
   Still, it's a good way to wind up the Labour party & make the usual mouthpieces look like the brainless idiots that they are when they do a routine rant about the fake ishue.
Let us hope the SnackStabber has the guts to wave 2 fingers @ the Labour mugs who are confecting outrage over the Xposure of the Abbott defects to deflect attention from their many crimes against humanity. Or @ least call the outrage what it is; rank hippocrisy.
The gutless bugger didn't.
Bottled it. No one surprised.

Not grinding rather than doing it slowly
A year after the event, the local police still haven't done anything about finding out who chopped down the iconic Sycamore Gap tree @ Hadrian's Wall.
   Seedlings from the original are being grown to create as mini-grove of descendants which, no doubt, will become the target for another chainsaw vandal @ the end of the century.

Sherie back on the job again
“When we're told some person or institution has been approached for a comment, and none was on offer, what does that mean? The approach was made to the proverbial barge-pole length?” Bill Ding
“Who was the idiot who made World Book Day all about kids dressing up a characters in books instead of people talking about books they've read & enjoyed and why? And delivering awful warnings about turkeys. We should be told.” Dieter Rent
“How is Angular Robot being ginger (beer?) relevant to her shameful history of flashing President Boris in the Commons?” Stee Myrrh
“If London's cosmetic mayor behaves as if he's in the pocket of the Islamists, it doesn't matter whether he is or not. The outcome in both events is the same.” Mark Matter

Where do they get them?
What do French academics know? Not all that much if one of them is claiming that English is just French spoken with a weird accent.
   This ignores all the words our language has hoovered up from Angular Saxons & Danish invaders, and Celts of all descriptions. And all the rest.
   And while we're at it, French isn't even a language in its own right. It's just Latin that's been messed about a bit.

If the Office for Budgie Responsibility gets its 6-monthly forecasts on what the economy will do hopelessly wrong 90% of the time, that's a clear case for cutting the quango's pay by 90% & NO BONUSES!
Severe sanctions are also in order for those who appointed the useless stooges. Starting with Dave the Leader & Boy George ‘12 Jobs' Osborne, who wished the quango on us.
Non-doms are already making plans to ensure that Hunt the Stunt's tax grab doesn't affect them. £3 BILLION raised from it? In his dreams.
[No surprise that the 3 billion is OBR bullshit. Ed.]
A Treasury spokes claimed it's right for those with broad shoulders to cough up more. So why are our Europeon neighbours offering tax breaks to the broad-shouldered to hoover non-doms out of the YewKay? Fewer bozos in their tax-raising systems?

Bier Smarmer has categorically denied bullying the Squeaker of the Commons to spare himself the embarrassment of 100 Labour MPs voting against him on the SNP's Gaza Wednesday.
   So it must be true.
   Not that this is likely to stop Smarmer digging the hole deeper.

Rage against the machine . . .
Inventive people who hate the self-drive robotaxis in San Francisco have discovered that something as simple as putting a traffic cone on the bonnet confuses their sensors & leaves them unable to move.
   The Xperts; the more pessimistic ones; reckon that the tech needed for driverless cars won't be available before the 2050s.

If all of the alleged publishing Titans failed to spot that Princess Kate's photo edits were just minor tweaks, that doesn't say much for their competence.
“One thing the Princess Kate photo has shown us is that the world is full of people who are not busy doing useful work. A degree of societal rebalancing is required to correct this problem.” Arta Kontrole

Crumbs! The SNP wants to set up its own versions of MIs 5 & 6. And lo! Scots won't be able to move for spies & terrorists, all getting a free ride, if that happens.

People using driverless taxis are advised to wear a crash helmet & lotz of padding as they can flinch @ shadows & slam their brakes on for no apparent reason, as far as the occupant is concerned.

Sherie Does Dosh
“If Hunt the Stunt thinks Gordon F. Broon was a ‘prudent' Chancellor, then he has senile dementia & needs to be put in a padded room.” Den Bones
“Hunt is deferably one with the fairies & BierBC stooges should be made to call him Jezzerbelle so they don't fry listeners' ears by calling him Mr. Something that rhymes with Hunt but starts with ‘C'.” Ger Maine
“You can tell that Reeves, Smarmer's Chancellor wannabe, used to work @ the Bonk of England. She's as clueless as the Stunt.” Wilber Fours
“What the government needs to do is ban marches which don't pay the policing cost up-front & tell the disrupters to go and do it on the interweb.” Ed Beneficiary

Warned in the direction of off
The ranks of the MeeToo Movement have thinned considerably since its heyday @ the end of the last decade. Too much information on the interweb & ease of access to it has left part-time feminists unable to find men who will offer them dinner & debauchery.

The government is to blow £117 MILLION on protecting mosques & Moslem schools from Islamist terrorists.
“Banning Islam & Judaism here would save the country £200 MILLION, and that's just for starters.” Tack Babber

Advertisement Mr. Wydey’s Book List Highly Recommended Reading, Authors worth pursuing & some Awful Warnings, Hundreds of Bux listed!

WEEK 3    Putin the ‘UK’ aid into Ukraine

 
The way back
What the SnackStabber needs to do is hold a December general election as the Labour turn-out is always reduced. Why? 'Coz their voters tend to live in areas where it's not safe to be out & about after dark or before full daylight.

Too cute to give a hoot?
Angular Robot & Bier Smarmer remain the mired in their respective swamps involving dosh & bullying respectively. But has been said here before—Hey, they're politicians, what do you expect? Truth, decency & the British way instead of gaslighting? Suckers!!

Sherie Lights Them Up Again
“Yesterday's phone scammer was an Indian bloke on a mobul phone pretending to be from BT Openreach. He claimed that they were doing something to the servers and wanted me to switch on my computer to see if I had internet access. As I'm not a BT customer, I told him I had no plans to use a computer at all that day as I was too busy doing other things. And then range off whilst he was still digesting this.” X. Pertise
“What needs to happen is a smack on the back of the head every time a politician tries to feed us some nonsense about something being the best in the world instead of good quality & money well spent.” Has Tala
“If the Tories have lost the Grey Vote, where are the greys going to go? Because they're old enough to know that a Labour government is always a disaster. Maybe they'll just have lots of drinkies on election day and stay @ home. That way, no one can blame them if they didn't vote for Smarmer and his sorry crew.” Imon Holliday
“If the criterion for a news agency to reject a picture is 'materially altered compared to the original', and all the adjustment to the Princess Kate & family picture were just minor tweaks, is this evidence that Team Mhegan the Muciloid is making trouble again?” Gedda Life

Always another way
With the Church of England and other religion-based scams for pretending to convert illegal entrants busted wide open, it's surprising that an enterprising atheist organization hasn't leapt into this growing market slot. Or enterprising Satanists.
   Nothing to learn in the way of ritual chants with atheism. Just blank denials that there are mysterious beings taking an often malign interest in The Planet and helping the unworthy to survive at the expense of the good.
   What could be simpler?
[The alternatives could be more discreet than the CoE and less likely to be blown. Or maybe the far-Left have done real damage to the UK's enterprise culture. Ed.]
“This is something else that's been offered before here; and no bugger has taken any notice. Cue the 'Voice in the Wilderness' background music.” Reddi F'rowt

Time-saving tips from the last general election
Ignore everything from Labour as it will be a lie, and ignore everything from the Trivials as it will be bollocks. Everything from the BierBC is Labour propaganda & everything from the usual whingers will be bollocks.

The spivs of the veterinary & pet insurance trades are to be investigated by the Competition & Markets Authority for overcharging. Nothing is Xpected to come of it any time soon as this is what always happens with these 'investigations'.

“If you take the trouble to read what Tory donor F. Hester is reported to have said, instead of Labouring into hippocritical slander mode, it's obvious that it's all about the defects of Abbott's character & her sex & race are irrelevant. This is the same D. Abbott who was cancelled by Labour for rachelism against Jews, let us not forget.” Gim Medosh

Esso petrol 145.9p/litre in Romiley.
Esso diesel 154.9p/litre—a drop!!

Alibis instead of achievement
It's all very well for the Ministry of Defence to claim it is spending billions of pounds of our money, but if the cash isn't giving us anything that works and arrives on time, no bonuses should be on offer to the useless snivellers responsible for the mess.
End of.

Stakeknifers or back-stabbers?
How curious that a report from the police in Northern Ireland takes a pop @ the British government but has nothing to day about the Irish government letting the IRA get away with terrorism.
   £40 million blown on useless BS & rewriting history with the anti-Britisch bias we've come to associate with the bods running the Ulster police.

Not us, Gov!
The Metropolitan Polis have a really cute answer to complaints about Pal Pals flags hung up to intimidate Jews in the capital. They're a littering ishue and the responsibility of the appropriate council.
   Which is probably under the Islamist cosh and not about to clean the place up.
   Proving that it is as easy for the police to ignore a genuine hate crime as it is for them to invent a spurious one.

Q: Is it a catastrophic world-ending disaster if a fire breaks out on a Britisch aircraft carrier in dock for servicing?
A: If it is put out quickly, only on a slow news day.

The Israeli regime is refusing to say how many patients were killed by its assault on a hospital in Gaza last month and how many staff remain under arrest and unable to do their job. Yet another object lesson in how to be perceived as being the bad guy when you're convinced that your cause is just and you're perfectly entitled to assume that anyone who gets in your way can be wiped out.

Mustard not cut
TheRazor May is getting an NBG rating for her spell as Prime Monster. She's down in the dumps with the likes of Lord North & Harold bloody Wilson. She will be remembered as the woman who said the Tories were seen as the nasty party but neglected to mention that this was only propaganda from far-Left meeja, not the view of real people.

The Education Sec. has recommended that teachers should punch Ofsted inspectors if they are rude and behave obnoxiously, like a lot of them do. The far-Left Ofsted trade union is aghast. Good.

Is it possible to feel confidence in a politician who needs to consult a lawyer to know where she has been living?
Is it possible to feel confidence in a politician who plans to spend zillions of pounds of other people's money even though she has no idea where the cash is coming from?
Is it reasonable to give someone a licence to be useless in a public office just because their ancestors are African or Pakistani rather than European?

Incompetence now traditional or even compulsory?
How strange that over 50% of local councils are on the verge of going broke but they still think it's a brilliant idea to throw millions of pounds @ diversity and other non-jobs, buying the approval of sexual abnormals & blowing cash they don't have on other things that don't matter.
   And then there are the relentless urges to hurl other people's cash at crazy 'investments' that blow hundreds of millions of pounds.
“Maybe making councillors liable for a financial mess that they've created, with 1,000 hours of useful unpaid work as an alternative, would help to concentrate their minds.” Elon Earth

A trend on the way?
Smoke enemas were on offer as a posh way to consume tobacco in the 19th century. This evolved into a fad for colonic irrigation in C20. And in C21? How about vaping enemas for idiots with lotz of surplus cash?

Regretfully, still no progress on declaring the last Monday in October to be Bollocks to Berko Day and a bank holiday replacing May Day, which is redundant.

Maybe it's time for the Tory party donor F. Hester to start creating about all the anti-white rachelism he's been subjected to by the Labour party, D. Abbott and her mates.

Just a friendly chat, would you believe? No? How wise.
Bier Smarmer is getting away with bullying the Speaker to spare the smarmy one the embarrassment of a 100-MP rebellion because he did it in Hoyle's personal & private Cupboard.
   What goes on in there has to remain confidential, we are told.
   Which is claptrap. But what else do you Xpect from politicians?

University College London is trying to pretend that it isn't in hock to Chinese students & unable to tolerate a word of criticism about the regime in China. Not at all successfully, it must be noted.

Just a thought, but can we send Mhegan the Muciloid to Rwanda?

Con-job Alert
Manufacturers of electric cars are overstating their range by up to one-third & keeping quiet about the fact that cold weather reduces that range still further.

The latest definition of Xtremism has successfully outraged the far-Left, all anti-Britisch terror gangs & the hate-monger tendency of the Labour party.

Every case has a special pleader
An environment professor is upset by the sight of masses of bluebells because she sees them as a sign of the decline of the wild boar, which is very good at wrecking plant life.
People who venture into the countryside are @ risk of being attacked by wild boar. No one has ever suffered death or injury as a result of encountering bluebells.

Curiously, 3 sacked Tory Home Secs urged their party to let Xtremists be included in the diversity & inclusion agenda. Presumably, to enrich the fabric of Britisch life by infesting it with bad guys as well as decent people. Looks like the Leveller Govester, who's doing the redefinition of Xtremism, ain't scoring any points with them.

They’ve all got one; of one sort or another
O.J. Corbynstein had his Magic Money Tree. Labour's current Chancellor wannabe, Reeves, has a Magic Money Stretcher.
   She's claiming that the non-dom tax grab guessed @ £3 BILLION by Hunt the Stunt but likely to be about 3 quid, can be used to fund at least £120 BILLION of Labour Largesse.
   Doshan, or what!!

Today’s Definition: Dimocracy (also Dimocrazy)
The governing party is making a bog of things so the stoopid electorate gives the job to a party with a track record of making an unholy mess every time it gets into power.
[see Harold bloody Wilson, Sunny Jim & tony b. liar. Ed.]
Welsh Schmelsch
Welsh Labour has stuck it to the Druid population by replacing the useless M. Wokeford with an Icelandic African as their leader.

As in 2019, the Big Challenge for the Labour Party is how to come up with a bribe for everyone big enuff to buy enuff votes for a win.

It’s worth continuing to bash the climate criminals with this!
The global carbon dioxide level is still the same as it was 3-5 million years ago but the world is 2-3 deg.C colder now and sea levels are 30-60 feet lower than they were back then.
   Explanation comes there none from the gorbal warmage fraudsters.

Gulp, wow! Princess Kate has been out in the open and Xposed to fresh air!! M. Dolan of GB Views outraged by this trashing of his crapidocious conspiracy theories?
“Was it Kate or a stunt double?” M. Dolinitout

Those planning to send a birthday card this month to Angular ‘Two Homes' Robot should take the precaution of sending it care of her lawyer to make sure it reaches her.

If 1.6 million Palestinians turn up here claiming Israel has an oppressive regime, can we send the bill for their keep to Israel and/or the Untied States?
The invasion will be a direct result of the far-Left waxworks @ the Home Office declaring Israel to be an apartheid state loaded with rachelism.
   In that case, can we sell the waxworks to the medical trade in China as a source of body parts?
“Not very cleverly, these twats @ the H.O. With the Net&Yahoo gang in charge, Israel is a kleptocracy, that's all.” Cell Ebrity

The idiots running the NHS are rejecting perfectly good medical supplies & instruments if they aren't bogusly Green enuff & net zeronic.

Mhegan the Muciloid selling Princess Di Jam? Wot next?

Q: What about that volcano in Iceland?
A: There is currently nothing much happening and the tourism industry is urging everyone to turn up and have a look.

Q: What do you get if you're a Church of England priest and you stop doing baptisms for batches of fake asylum seekers wanting to be fake Christians, too?
A: The boot from your job. How very Wetby.

Something Worth Remembering:
"Islamophobia is a word created by fascists & used by cowards to manipulate morons"—C. Hitchens, journalist & critic.

Why do the rich have broad shoulders? To support the wings they use to fly away when the tax regime gets too greedy.

Commie Krelief
The Kremlin has not been amused by the number of people who sent messages of congratulation to Putin the Poisoner on winning 6 more years of kleptocracy BEFORE the mock elections were held.
The mockers included the President of the EFU Council.
Only those approved by the Kreml kleptocracy are allowed to vote in Putinstan.
As an enticement to vote, those on the electoral rolls were offered free drinks & a floor show (paid for by The People, natch) @ polling stations.
As usual, stooges were sent in coaches to a number of polling stations to create the illusion for foreign wiseguys with a camera of a high turn-out, which was ensured by the usual vote-rigging procedures anyway.

Being Sneaky?
After Labour was hammered by President Boris in the 2019 general election, their Chancellor wannabe blamed the defeat on the news meeja for revealing what a total disaster for the economy Labour's spending plans would be.
   Is that why Bier Smarmer is avoiding having any policies?
Last time around, Putinstan was accused of sabotaging the Labour vote to make it look like they've stopped interfering in our general elections. More of the same on the way later this year?

The Chinese government would like the world to acknowledge that its tactic of obliterating them was a highly effective way of solving a Moslem problem.
[You can't beat living in hope. Ed.]

Marks & Sparks are selling pants that make a female bum look really, really big as part of a new range for Xhibitionists.
“Wear 2 pairs to make yer bum look HUGE and unmissable?” Per Radua

Q: What do you get if your electric Land Rover stops responding to the controls and has to be rammed off the road by the police?
A: Arrested for causing a public nuisance.

Labour's ‘plan' for dealing with people smugglers is just a rehash of the one for drug traffickers. And we know that when a gang of them is busted, two more leap forward to fill the gap.
   Thus Labour isn't offering the usual hot air. This air is barely lukewarm.

One for the bingo callers of the world
“All the Putins, eighty-seven.”
“It must be really frustrating. You go to all that trouble to rig an election to nearly a 90% vote for 6 more years of you and no one even pretends to take it seriously.” Gla Drags
“You can't say the president of the EFU Council doesn't know all about corruption. What is it? Thirty consecutive years that the auditors have refused to sign off on the accounts?” Elton Asprin

If there ain’t a problem, invent one?
Some snivel servants are worried about the Govester's plan to Xclude the far-Left, Islamists & other undesirables from contact with the government apparatus and funding from the taxpayer.
[‘c' word trigger warning, Ed]
    The claim is that a future Labour government could abuse the system because it has happened lotz of times in the past.
   Which kind of ignores the fact that if Labour is in government, it can put an abuse system of its own in place whether or not the Govester's ever happens.
   But hey, they are only snivel servants, not brainboxes.

More snivelling:
The bosses of the quango NHS England have chosen to ignore government directives and they are claiming that not everyone who goes through the menopause is a woman, which is clap to the power of trap and misconduct in a public office worthy of dumping in a deep, dark hole.

Busy doing nowt useful, but cramming our cash into their pockets?
Public health Xperts have had a yah-boo from the cosmetic Chinese plague circus in response to their complaints that the circus has been ignoring the real ishues. On offer is a vague assurance that they will be considered in ‘future modules'; say, in years 7 or 8 of the circus.

Q: The man who undiscovered penicillin; what's his story all about?
A: The persistence of obviously totally wrong information in the face of attempts to correct it.
Q: How seriously do you take a geologist if she has pink hair, multiple nasal piercings and a tattoo of barbed wire around her neck?
A: Excuse me while I lie down in a darkened room for half an hour.

Take No Prisoners!
The Waleses have been advised to get a minion to create a Twatalogue Catalogue of the people who carped about Princess Kate & her Easter family photo so that the Waleses will have something better to do than engage with the twerps when they twat about over something equally trivial in the future.

Despite the best efforts of the BierBC, Labour & other far-Lefties, their recession; if there ever was one; has flopped and UK plc is growing again. Not that this will stop this collection of buggers trying to confect another recession when they think we've forgotten about this flop.

The SNP regime in Scotland has been shamed into cracking down on abuse of taxpayer-funded credit cards following their widespread use by snivel servants for booze, crazy golf sessions & other amusements.

Wee Sterny Burgeon is reported to be deeply disappointed by the £64K pay-off which she got after being sacked as First Meenister. She was hoping for at least enuff to buy another luxury touring motor caravan.

Warning
When some climate spiv starts enthusing about how much carbon dioxide sequoia trees gobble out of the atmosphere, smile politely and split.
   Everyone knows that the ones planted in the UK make Net Zero impact on The Planet in global terms.

Q: A film about Mary, Queen of Scots comes with the information that it ‘rewrote one of history's most dramatic tales'. What does that mean, Xactly?
A: Sounds like the author made up a load of stuff & attributed it to historical characters.
Q: Bam to the power of boozle, to quote RLC author Merik Katuryan?
A: In one.

Today's word: Bugger-boo
Some bugger has made something up and is claiming that the invention proves that the bugger is right about something.
   Xpect lots of this when the general election is about to happen.

SNP shame inflicted on Scotland
A Turkish firm can get a ferry built & operational to serve Scottish Islands in under 2 years. The Fergusson shipyard in Port Glasgow; government owned; still hasn't got a pair of ferries anywhere near built after faffing about for 7 years.

The BierBC got a good going over from J. Rees-Mogg after a far-Left attempt to cancel him from GB Views flopped. He was able to tell his audience about deliberate lies, which had been BierBC Verified. And remind us that the far-Left BierBC had been forced to apologize to Reform UK for calling it a far-Right party.
“Which is just what just about everyone else is compared to the ultrafar-Left BierBC.” Que Vadis
“By BierBC standards, Bier Smarmer is probably dangerously far-Right. Which makes them giving him so much slack all the more suspect.” Tann Tamount

Q: Why doesn't the BierBC admit that a nutty Scouser with homicidal ambitions is far-Left?
A: Because he's mainstream compared to the BierBC.

The King's Cross railway station message board was hi-jacked by Islamists yesterday, shock-horror. Notwork Rail is ‘investigating', so nothing much Xpected in the way of credit/blame.
“Just part of the trend @ naziversities which has leaked out into the wider world.” Real E. Smug

Messy Masochistic Measure
“Making Bier Smarmer the Prime Monster just because you're fed up with the Tories is the equivalent of hacking your leg off with a chainsaw if you stub your toe.” Elon Weelz

The way the Labour party operates?
Bier Smarmer's Nonce Finder General, the appalling T. Watson, did a huge whinge about the way the Labour party was treating him after he was booted out of the deputy leader's job. Then Smarmer put him in the Haus of Frauds.
   D. Abbott, booted out of the party for anti-Jewish rachelism & entitlement, is also doing a major whinge. Same destination for her?

The UK is to be battered by a 400 mph storm that's on its way across the Atlantic and will be here for the Easter weekend. Or something.

Where the Govester went wrong
Using the term 'fundamental rights' in his Xtremism Charter was a blunder as the term has no legal definition. Thus any legislation is open to perversion by judges, who assume they have a fundamental right to rewrite the Law of the Land in ways unsanctioned by Parliament.

The nation reels in shock!
Lady Chief Justice Carr has ruled that eco-protesters & other vandals do not have a right to cause criminal damage and get away with it.
   Her ruling was made in the Court of Appeal after a number of cases of getting away with it were referred up the legal chain.
BFN understands that no incompetent judges will be sacked as a result of this ruling.

You are what you eat? Crumbs!
The Lifestyle Police are working hard to ban chicken ranching in favour of sheds full of pythons. Snakes, the Xperts have found, are better at converting food to protein-rich meat and they are not bovvered by being crammed together @ high density.

The reason why the international photo agencies have it in for the Royals has been revealed. Princess Kate distributes pictures free of charge and does them out of a wodge of cash.
   It's graboids deprived of filthy lucre doing a whinge; it's as simple as that.

A holey clash
A foodie professor reckons that reducing the number of holes in a chip shop salt shaker will make a serving of fish & chips healthier.
   Not so, sez the industry's president. If there's less salt coming out, the customer just spends longer shaking the shaker and the queue slows down.
   But what do academic Xperts kno anyway?

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More back-stabbers
The Financial Conduct Authority has stabbed the nation in the back by giving banks the green light to start charging all customers for having a current account, even if it's in credit.
   No chance of any interest at an honest rate, either.
   Or of the FCA being depopulated & restocked with human beans.

“Angular Robot wants Abbacuss Abbott back in Labour's ranks despite her poisonous entitlement. Could that be 'coz Angular wants someone else to take on the job of being the worst waste of space in the party?” Anne Gular

WEEK 4    Putin the ‘hi’ into election hijack

 
The fourth outburst from the Icelandic volcano since last December has been giving Reykjavik a spectacular orange, red & yellow night sky this week, the national tourist agency is yelling to encourage visitors.

August bank holiday travel went into meltdown last year because the people who were supposed to control air traffic were Skiving @ Home instead of doing the job they're paid to do.

Drug dealers are giving themselves away, and making themselves more readily bustable, by insisting on having a gang of XL Bully dogs.

Bier Smarmer has done a U-ey on the UseLEZ cash-grabbing scam to grease up to London's UseLez cosmetic mayor.
No one even slightly surprised.

Today’s Phone Scammer: was an Indian bloke calling from 01753 925 208 about the boiler. Telling him it's fine was something he didn't want to hear!

Hulk Hogan to the power of Hyphen Howe
40 years after the battle @ the Orgreave coking works, is it possible to feel any sympathy for the miners? Nope. They set the whole thing up and back then, we had police forces that were prepared to uphold the rule of law.
   Of course, this is long before New Labour inflicted the current breed of do-nothing grovellers on us. The ones who are quite happy to let thugs and public nuisances run riot.

Today’s Question:
How could a gang of attention-seeking students @ Bristol U. twatting about & barricading themselves up somewhere possibly stop the war in Gaza? Answers on a PC to the usual address.

Today’s Other Question:
Why is the BierBC so obsessed with claiming that transpicater blokes are not male? Answers on a PC . . .

Xcellent Point!
Look before leaping! The Tories shouldn't be doing anything about picking a new leader until after the next general election, when they will know who's still an MP!

Today’s Ishue
If a Moslem hate preacher blames homosexuals for the failure of the Hamas to defeat Israel, should we be outraged or should we just dismiss the guy as an nutter and ignore him?

All the kids who want to change gender should be made to serve as the target for an apprentice knife-throwing act to find out how serious they are.

Appearances are everything in politics
Having members of ethnic minorities as the leaders of the three parties controlling the trio of British parliaments is offered as a triumph for diversity. But all of them taking the jobs at once looks much more like tokenism than anything else. And putting the IRA in charge of the assembly in Ulster just emphasizes the tokenism.
“It's just another part of the de-robustifying programme being run by the anti-Britisch factions with the object of turning everyone into a pathetic wimp, who will just stand and watch and knuckle under when Putin the Poisoner launches his invasion.” Un Dulate
“The point about appearances is well made. One party leader who's not from what is perceived as the native population can be seen as talent receiving its reward. But all three mainland parties doing it at once, in the context of politics and its distance from reality, does look like a buncha buggins all taking their turn and proving that each party is virtue-flagging as energetically as all the others.” E. Vil

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Would Yer Adam ‘n’ Eve it?
Bier Smarmer has been forced to give up on what he thought was a sure election winner. Someone has Xplained to him that there is no chance of a Labour government making the UK the fastest growing G7 economy in a million years, never mind after a 5-year term in office.

Q: Why has the Israeli PM grotted all over a cease-fire deal with the Hamas?
A: Because if the shooting & bombing & killing stop, he'll be back on the list @ some court or other on corruption charges.

Everyone Overboard
There's telling a news story and there's going on and on and on and on endlessly about the same things pointlessly.
   That's what anyone who dared to switch a TV on yesterday got from alleged news channels. Yes, it's rotten that Princess Kate has cancer. Yes, it's rotten that King Charles has it too. But there is a lot more going on in the world than two people with an awful disease getting treatment that seems to be working.

Esso petrol 146.9p/litre in Romiley, gone up.
Esso diesel 154.9p/litre.

Good to see the boss of ITV get his arse soundly kicked for his anti-white rachelism & his anti-male sexism. A wet 6 months in the stocks would be too good for him. Scum to the power of bag if he thinks casual & woke isms are wokay.
The above was reported on GB Views but completely ignored by the BierBC lunchtime news yesterday. No one surprised.
[The lunchtime news was before the Princess Kate story broke. Ed.]

Are they having us on, by any chance?
A contest to pick the best places to live in the UK, run by the Sunday Times has picked Stockport as top of the pops in the North-West of England. It's supposed to be one of the most Xciting towns around.
   Not something all that evident as seen from Romiley, four miles away.
“At least we don't have nutters with a crossbow running around, shooting people, as they have in Shoreditch in London.” Hun Chabac

Q: Is saying you'll call a woman facing misconduct charges a bitch if she's found guilty 'a vile jibe'?
A: Only if the bloke who did the saying is a Tory and the jibist is a far-Left usual suspect.

The M&S bum-booster knickers are highly recommended by female persons who do a lot of sitting down.

Q: Why are the scribblers so endlessly going on about the Royals going Xtinct?
A: They're worried about having to find something else to scribble about and copping for the fallout from the Royal Xtinction and no one wanting to talk to them in case the new customers go Xtinct, too.

The Chinese plague has given exam floppers a new & lasting alibi. They can claim that they have a reduced IQ caused by brain fog inflicted on them by the Wuhan Curse.

Bad guys is what bad guys do
The far-Left Socialist Workers Party is in the frame for orchestrating an atmosphere of hatred against Jews in universities as part of the Pal Pals agenda.

More of it
Putinarzis are upset by the failure of anyone abroad to believe that the voting booths that they torched during the rigged presidential election were ignited by 'scumbags from abroad' rather than Putinstanis on the government payroll.
   And another thing—Putin the Poisoner got 87.8% of the vote, not 87%.

The Hot Home Purchase of the moment in Sweden, a new member of NATO, is a domestic nuclear bunker as a precaution against Putin the Poisoner getting frisky.
   Built-in sauna and a well-stocked bar optional.

Interesting Thought
The nation states of Yourope are starting to reject poisonous far-Left attitudes, which means that if the UK is masochistic enuff to elect a Labour government, it won't be welcomed back into the Europeon Club. Get out of that!

Gulp! Trump to boot Prince Hairy out of the US if he's elected president again! Let us hope he doesn't boot Hapless Hairy in our direction.

Are there enuff of these around for Hairy to buy immunity from eviction?

The real scandal about the England football team replica shirt isn't the red & blue cross on the back of the neck, it's charging 90 quid for a bloody shirt.

No wonder enemies are running riot and the snivel service doesn't deliver if the heads of MI6 and the snivellers are more focussed on getting women into the Garrick Club in London as members than on doing their jobs.
   These two beauties were wonked into giving up their club memberships by the far-Left bozos of theGroaner. Arse!
“MI6, that's the Secret Intelligence Service. So called because any signs of intelligence are kept secret.” Omar Biker

Grrrr!
Islamist terrorists are outraged by the refusal of many to believe that the mass murder @ the Moscow concert hall wasn't Putin the Poisoner killing more enemies in a crowd.
   This view has been reinforced by Putinstan's feeble attempts to put the blame on Ukraine. The claim that the ‘fleeing terrorists' were planning to swan through what is a war zone on the Ukraine/Putinstan border was greeted with almost universal derision. Except in far-Left circles, of course.
“Putrid will use it as an Xcuse to hoover up more conscript stooges to chuck into his Ukraine meat grinder. Simple as that.” N.O. Kinshop

Diversity is Doshan
The story is that the Bond film franchise has decided not to deploy a homosexual-ish wonk of colour, optionally female-ish, to carry the series forward. But unless the scriptrotters created a white bloke who looks & acts the part created by Ian Fleming, it will all turn out to be a con job.
“Not doing the Fleming character wot he wrote would be sheer perversity & the notion that it's time for a change is plain stoopid.” Mark Time
“If it's not the Fleming character wot he wrote, then they're not entitled to pretend their story is about the James Bond created by I. Fleming. End of.” Ocho Sinko

Online libel lounges are getting the blame for giving youngies a mid-life crisis of the sort usually associated with grown-ups.

The thing that blows the doors off the diversity cult is the Security Services having to pretend we're under an existential threat from the far-Right just because we face real threats from crazed Islamists & the far-Left.
   The last of the above includes all the organizations which think their job is to talk the UK down; the Labour party, the BierBC, the CBI, the OBR, the BoE, etc., etc.

The fridge magnet industry is trying to give itself a boost based on the claim that seeing one brings back happy memories of holidays and enriches the quality of the owner's life.

Sherie Lights Them Up Again Again
“Is it really the job of the State to nanny self-indulgent drug users, who have no Xcuse for not knowing that they are doing something stupid and self-destructive?” Ige Nition
“Is there a far-Right of the far-Left? We should be told!” Bran Tugastv
“Is the apparent failure to increase defence spending in the Budget just a cunning trap, into which Putin the Poisoner will hurl himself?” Al Ligater
“A white man criticising an appalling black woman is rachelist but a black woman having a go at a white man is okay? So much for truth, justice and the Britisch way.” F. Ixture
“If Bier Smarmer claims he goes to a gym every week, and he still looks porky enuff to get into a hissy row with the Mandelsleaze, are we to be told what it is that he does @ this gym if it's not working out?” Nox Ius
“Far-left journalist (insert name) makes Princess Kate's condition all about them with even more of their personal tripe.” Cody Pagoda

Electric heat pumps are useless compared to a gas boiler & a scam. The public knows it and the government knows it. Which is why our fearless leaders are having to offer bigger bribes to mugs to get one installed.

Hoot of last week
Has to have been the people claiming they can't afford hot water at home and they have to shower at the gym because they can afford the membership fee for that.
   What the poor darlings need to do is spend the gym membership that hoovers up all their loose cash on a dynamo bike. Xercise plus electricity to heat water? Wunderbar!

Spotting the enemy
The signature of a climate criminal is a complete lack of a sense of proportion. They see a report of a 50% of bugger all reduction in carbon emissions and all they can see is the number 50. Which looks like a lot.
   They are completely unable to grasp the simple truth that one-half of bugger all is also bugger all in practice.

Cities around the world marked Climate Criminal Day last Saturday by turning off their lights for a while during the evening.
   No appreciable change in the climate of The Planet has been detected.

Bum Note
Oh, dear! The verdict on Humbug Useless' first year as First Meenister of Alba is that it has been an anus horribilis.
   The SNP is just as sleazy, financially incompetent, a flop @ getting vital infrastructure fixed & as legislatively incompetent as ever. And what about them 2 ferries? Nowhere near built after 7 years.
Scotland's decarbonizing target for 2030 is out of reach. BFD. It was never going to matter anyway because the UK isn't the problem. It's the carbon criminals.

No need to worry about gorbal warmage any more. The Xperts reckon that falling birth rates will trash the global economy in 2050 & the 'uman race will go Xtinct shortly thereafter.

Even more far-Left woke idiocy
The Victoria & Albert Museum, formerly a national treasure, has been brought into disrepute under the directorship of a discarded Labour MP, who is allowing moronic attacks on the character of former PM Baroness Thatcher.

The BierBC seems to think it's okay to employ pro-Hamas Arabic journalists on inclusion & diversity grounds. And if they're Pal Pals who don't appreciate what the Israeli Death Force gets up to, tough.

What's very telling is watching a gorbal warmage guy being questioned on TV. There's always nothing sensible from them when they're confronted with the truth that whatever we do here has no effect on the global climate because we're not causing their problem.
   There's maybe some limp stuff about their 1.5 deg.C disaster threshold on offer but never anything about how they're going to shut down all them coal-fired power stations in China, India and elsewhere, which are putting most of the extra carbon dioxide into the atmosphere.
[That's carbon dioxide which isn't doing that the criminals claim it does, let us not forget. Ed.]
“Germany swapping nuclear for coal when Mutti Mherkel the Commie was in charge hasn't helped any.” Mar Blarch

The ‘Birmingham Culture’ is rife
The climate criminals are trying to blame the dreadful state of Britain's roads on increased Xtreme weather. This is a deliberate lie. Heavier vehicles, especially SUVs & EVs, are doing the damage and local councils are wasting YOUR MONEY on diversity, wokery & every other silly political distraction, and bone-headed 'investments', instead of spending it on essentials.

An ombudswiseguy has ruled that equality & diversity don't apply to women when it comes to retiring at the same age as men.
“Not a word about how much compenbloodysation men should get for having to retire 5 bluddy years later than women.” Can Tanqer

The NHS is facing an A.I. cancer crisis. A.I.s can detect small tumours that are not evident to a human eye & will create a demand for treatment which will leave the NHS even more unable to cope. Especially if the Jr.Dox are still on strike.

Ever the opportunist
Bier Smarmer is hoping that his tax on private schools will ruin the state school system such that those emerging from it will be too thick & uneducated to spot that Labour policies are always rubbish.
   As a bonus, Britisch school leavers will be too thick to qualify for university places, letting unis cram in even more foreign students, who can be stung for enormous tuition fees.

Snivellers trying it on again
Hunt the Stunt had to step in to head off at the pass, a scam attempted by the bosses of HMRC, who wanted to close the telephone help line for 6 months between April & September in the hope that customers confused by their jargon would make blunders in their tax returns and become liable for HUGE fines.
HMRC's customer service levels are @ record lows, even for an outfit that's notorious for being UseLEZ in this area.

The Irish Teashop is in the dustbin of history after an attempt to woke up the language of the country's constitution ended in a humiliating referendum defeat and total rejection of his cause.

Dave the ex-Leader & current Foreign Sec. is getting the blame for being soft on China, which encouraged the Yellow Peril to hack UK government departments & troll Royals, knowing that squishy Sue Knack won't do anything about it.

If you want to know how to handle drugs such as heroin, all you have to do is enroll @ Exeter University for your degree course. The uni will tell you everything you need to know.

The Pal Pals are feeling unloved & they think laying siege to national institutions & keeping tourists out places like the British Museum will do their cause a world of good.

The reason why online libel lounges are so destructive has been Xposed. The idiots who use them are unable to realize that the targets for their slagging off activities are real people.
   And the libel lounges don't block the slaggers with any dispatch.

Anything climate criminals do here is the equivalent of painting your nails bright red when you have lung cancer. It might make the likes of politicians feel good, but it does nothing to address the alleged problem the criminals are moaning about.

Permanent Fixture?
The lake, which was a feature of Romiley Park after lots of rain in the twenty noughties, seems to have off-shored itself outside the park. It now lies on the east side of Sandy Lane, a pavement's width from the original site.
   Which means that anyone using the pavement or the traffic island just before the junction with Compstall Road has to beware of mad motorists charging through the new lake with reckless abandon.

If you have a brown face and you're on the BierBC, like Arthur Yakker, you can be as rachelist as you like about white people for some perverse reason; which the BierBC has never Xplained.
“Just plain as anti-Britisch & anti-white as they come @ the top?” Bash Mayhem

Is it any surprise that ITV is run by people who are also as anti-white rachelist as the BierBC? And Ofcop, the alleged regulator that has it in for GB Views, Knut B. Arsed to do SFA about it? Nope.

Q: Does it matter if the bloke likely to be the next James Bond is a wonky veggie?
A: If he can act the part and do the character convincingly, not a jot. Otherwise, cue a shower of rotten tomatoes and soggy vegetables.

We're hearing a lot of wibble about what the Tories should do now about leadership but the fact remains that those who survive the next general election won't be that bothered about who'll be their figurehead.
   They know they'll be in for a cushy time for 5 years. No jobs to do, no policies to invent, just sorting out the odd problem for a constituent when they're not in the Commons, throwing bricks @ Bier Smarmer & Co. and yah-booing when the Labour party drives the UK even further up the creek.

Vaping causing cancers, just like smoking, is being taken as proof that The Universe does equality & diversity.

Gulp! We live in a society in which 51% are idiots who have nothing better to do than read claptrap about Princess Kate on the interweb.

The reputation of the picture agency Getty has taken a dive following decisions to withdraw pictures from its collection on what are widely seen to be publicity-seeking grounds.

Some Bum in tins of ten
Labour's Chancellor wannabe, R. Reeves, is so devoid of originality that she has been reduced to recycling Tory policies from 1979. Badly.
   The big problem for Reeves is that she keeps going on about growth but embraces Labour's agenda of attacking wealth, opportunity & productivity; an agenda which is designed to prevent growth of the economy.
Labour's dotty Chancellor wannabe, a former employee of the Bonk of England, wants to put it in charge of gorbal warmage fraud. Doshan, or what!!
“And don't mention the Brown Bust of 2008, which created the bottomless hole we're sunk in. With a little help from the Wuhan plague-mongers, of course.” Yumo Wrist
“The Reeves idea of doing a Thatcher is to do the Xact opposite of what M.T. did? Totally cute but of Net Zero use to the nation.” Tran Tamount
“The more you hear about today's politicians, like Smarmer & Reeves & Abbacuss Abbott & Wee Streeting & Sadgeek K'han't & Ungulate Radar &, of course, Hunt the Stunt, the more you realize how much they have in common with the captain of the Good Ship Venus.” Northo Raborda
[For those baffled by the headline, there was a TV advert in the olden days for small cigars that went "Tom Thumb, Tom Thumb in tins of ten". This was quickly adapted by comedians to the above version. Ed.]

Labour’s New Energy Plan
Bier Smarmer backs floating wind farms, which can be towed by a fleet of electric tugs to wherever the wind is blowing @ the right speed to generate enormously over-priced electricity.
“Just enuff to charge up the fleet of tugs with none left over? Cute!” Mon Teedon

Trigger warning: 'C' word plus twattish concept
HMS Vengeance has been @ sea; or under it; for 7 months. During the prolonged submarine lurk, the captain 'could' have been ordered to launch a Trident missle. But he wasn't. So why mention it?

Despite the government's chucking £8.6 BILLION @ the problem, care of the elderly is officially 'on its knees'. Too much cash being chucked at non-jobs & other irrelevant ishues by the far-Left?

Local councils pleading poverty still managed to blow £52 MILLION on diversity & other crap last year.

Gaza is setting new world records for famine & need for aid, and beating the pants off Afghanistan (70%) and Sudan (80%) with its 100% in need of help rating.
   No surprise that Israel is getting the blame thanks to its obstructive attitude to aid convoys.

The enemies of lingerie queen Baroness Mone are deeply distressed. Instead of going to gaol for 5½ years for tax fraud, her husband has been cleared of all charges by a Spanish court.
   Wot next?

The popular opinion is that hanging, drawing & quartering is too good for the snivel servants who claim that China is eligible for £8M of our cash in overseas aid.
   Please send details of any better alternatives to the usual address.

Avinga Bad, Bad Day
1. Putin the Poisoner ain't too pleased. An attack on a concert hall on the edge of Moskva burnt it to the ground and killed 130+ customers, 4 stooges looking beaten up were hauled into court and still the rotters in the West won't believe his tale that it was all cooked up by Ukraine. (p.s. Shame about his Black Sea fleet.)
2. Islamic State & the Hamas are in an arse-kicking contest to claim the credit for ramming a vast container ship into the mile-long Francis Scott Key Bridge, wrecking the centre span with some loss of life. The bridge crosses the Patapsco River @ the outermost part of Baltimore's harbour and the collision took place in the early hours of the last Tuesday of the month.

Didn’t get NHS treatment? Here’s why . . .
The NHS Confederation is always whingeing that the NHS is short of cash. And it knows what it's talking about 'coz this gang is leeching millions of our cash out of the NHS for unloading wonk diversity claptrap on NHS bosses @ alleged training courses.

Don’t be mugged
Easter eggs sold @ last year's price will be 20-25% smaller than the 2023 size. Alternatively, mugs can opt for the same size of egg as last year's but costing 50% more.

ArchyBish Wetby's billion-pound slavery claptrap fund is to be seized to compensate the taxpayer for the Church of England's abuses of the asylum system.

Just Screw It Up
The reason why Nike erased the proper flag from the England football team jersey is because it contains white, which is unwoke. Just more impure anti-white rachelism of the sort displayed by the Church of England when it advertises for jobsworths for the task of deconstructing whiteness.

Hack out all them nasty white bitz with the Simple Sword of Swoosh!

Just plain irresponsible
Creative Scotland is still in a swamp of disgust over the decision to give 100 grand of taxpayers' cash to a show featuring non-simulated sex that included weird perversions.
   Screen Scotland, an offshoot, is getting a booting for failing to back a locally made remake of the classic film Whisky Galore and giving cash only to visiting gangs from Hollywood.
“On the other hand, if we have the original of the film, why do we need a remake instead of something else that's uniquely Scottish & also original?” Four Kout

Is it possible to feel sorry for Putrid the Poisoner now that the trolls are yelling that if he can't deliver domestic security from Islamist terrorists, he's a gonner?
   Aaaah . . . nope.

Unwelcome uniformity
The Scottish Chinese plague circus aimed at care homes is turning out to be as big a waste of time & money as the decade-long jamboree south of the border. Vast amounts of cash are sloshing into the pockets of the legal trade @ Net Zero benefit to the English taxpayers who are having to cough it up.

The SNP has blown £400K on promoting imaginary hate crimes & equally imaginary non-hate non-crimes in the last year. Wunderbar.

Kidz is Weird
GenZ, we are told, can't be bovvered to turn up for job interviews. And if they do get a job, they can't be arsed to turn up to do any work. This lets them 'feel in charge of their career'.
   But wot bluddy career if they get the boot for skiving?
It's official Labour party policy to boost trade union power to the extent that no one can ever be sacked, even if they contribute bugger all to the business. This is Labour looking after its paymasters, of course.

There's something shameful & sinister about the climate criminals @ the UN making children terrified of climate change & the coming disaster which the UN's politicians are promising.
“Money-grubbing crooks trying to create generations of mugs to rob.” Alf Resquo

Today’s proposition:
It is impossible to vandalize an act of vandalism perpetrated by the graffitiologist Banksy.

WEEK 5    Putin the ‘con’ into conceal

 
Keep it quiet, okay?
What the climate criminals don't want anyone to know is they've hijacked the After Fossil Fuels agenda. Fusion power is supposed to be the next step. But @ the current rate of progress, it's just as well we have 200 years' known reserves of fossil fuels left.
   Occasionals like wind & solar are just vastly overpriced distractions from the real ishues.

China & Putinstan are behind 63% of the libels on Princess Kate.
But they'd like that kept quiet, too, along with all their other crimes.

Today’s Question:
Good for what, this 'ere Friday?

Today’s Other Question:
How deep will the hole that Angular Robot & Bier Smarmer are digging for themselves get? No danger of either of them resigning, of course. And no sackings @ GMP for failing to do any sort of investigation. They are Labour, of course, & entitled.
“A. Robot is allowed to do dirty politics aimed at everyone else & entitled to get away with any & all dodginess. Wunderbar.” Salvid Junta

The BierBC is attempting to send people who don't pay it's licence fee to Rwanda?
Blokes pretending to be female have no shame if they think it's okay to invade women's darts.
++ Humbug Useless & his thought police are dragging Scotland into George Orwell's vision of 1984 ++ Police Scotland abandons investigating real crimes ++ Imaginary ones only by order of Mr. Useless ++
Police Scotland has been convicted in the Court of Public Opinion of a hate crime against the author J.K. Rowling. But the stooges in charge of this defective gang are refusing to arrest themselves.
Apple is being taken to court by the US government & not happy about a challenge to its self-granted right to protect gadget customers from a better financial deal.

The chocolate firm Cadbury is going in for Gesture Eggs as an Easter novelty.
“The Labour party gesture egg will be a box recycled from last year with nothing in it.” Plu Rality

Never slow to jump on a daft bandwagon to mock it, BFN has some suggestions . . .

Bournemouth University is being showered with derision for turning the 'victims' in a road accident training Xercise into zombies to avoid confronting snoflake paramedics-in-preparation with apparently injured 'uman beans.

The food supplier Iceland has been Xperimenting with literalism. If their HotX Bunz are not hot when sold, the chain has decided, they don't need an X. Which is why their packets of Easter treats contain a cold bun bearing a tick rather than a cross.

The Mandelsleaze has declared a national emergency in the face of Angular Robot's plan to let trade unions take charge of everything & deprive the likes of him of cash-mooching opportunities.

Groan! Untied Utilities, our local water company, is setting world records for polluting waterways, and that's why our rivers have turned green.

Coffee ranchers in Colombia are using climate change as an Xcuse for their failure to maintain a viable crop. Like spivs do.

The British Way of Life is a product of the strength & tenacity of the native population, which achieved a prominent position in the world despite Britain's relatively small size.
   Now, an invasion from cultures with poisonous & violent ways of life is undermining our country's values. Assisted, of course, by the far-Left, which can never stand to see Britain prosper. Arse!
“That's the far-Left for you. When they're not sticking a fist into the taxpayer's pocket, they're looking for rivers to sell us down. Or is it up?” B. Dazzled
“The SoBs probably do both, just to make sure the rest of us end up screwed.” Paula Smoke
“Never anything helpful from the so-called community leaders of the colonies that spawned the wreckers.” Stan Dingup
“Or from the cosmetic mayors of the areas where outrages are allowed to happen, e.g. Batley.” Dan Drufft

Today’s Questions
1 Is torture of terror suspects ever acceptable?
2 Is there any point in asking the question when the alleged terrorists are actors made up to look like tortured bad guys?

Top Untied Nations court orders Israel to let aid into Gaza. How many fingers will the reply be, one or two?

Z-titlement rather than just N-titlement?
A bloke Angular Robot used to be married to is claiming the election candidate selection process that Labour uses puts the ludicrous left @ a disadvantage and he wants compenbloodysation.
   What bloody planet is he on? Labour picks only those far enuff Left to fall off a cliff. Any fule kno that.

The wonkily managed by the far-Left Victoria & Albert Museum has been shamed into a U-turn over branding Baroness Thatcher a contemporary villain out of the same box as A. Hilter & O. Bin Liner.

Infiltraitors from the far-Left are being blamed for the harassment that visitors from Israel are getting at Britisch airports.

The taxpayer defrauded yet again
Labour has had 14 years to think up brilliant answers to every single one of Britain's problems. But what are they offering now? Bugger all.
   They've all been in the pub with Beer Smarmer, or jumping on fashionable bandwagons, instead of doing their job of Opposition? Serpently looks like it.

Fact: Elephants are wild animals & as dangerous as lions & hippos.
Fact: Humans who choose to live near them are out of their minds.

Time to get really tough
Reporting someone to the police for failing to agree that giving life-changing chemicals to confused children isn't the best idea in the world should result in a fine of £500 for a first offence; with a suitable multiplier for subsequent offences.
   The fine should also apply to police officers who engage in harassment of members of the public as a penalty for misfeasance in a public office.

The cosmetic mayor, Sadgeek K'han't, has been outraged by the Xposure of London as the crime capital of the world on his watch.
   No change is Xpected under the current management.
   The Geek doesn't do useful or effective.

The Irish High Court has ruled that the UK is not a safe dumping ground for bogus asylum seekers, who were rejected here and tried their luck across the water, on the grounds that they are liable to be shipped on to Rwanda.

China & Putinstan have shown cosmetic solidarity with the Hamas by vetoing a cosmetic US cease-fire in Gaza motion in the UN Security Council. As Israel & the Hamas would have taken no notice had the motion been passed, the whole episode has been filed in the Ludicrous Political Arsinga Bout drawer.

Never mind the quality of the bogus asylum seekers invading our shores, what about the quality of the judges who hear their case? Like the one who knew the dead chemical attacker A. Ezedi was lying about being a Christian convert but still gave him asylum despite his appalling criminal history.
“What we have is a form of role reversal. In the olden days, there was a bit of scum on the surface of the pond. Now, there is so much scum around that it vastly outnumbers everything that's worthwhile.” Pune Itive

Q: Why did Putrid go to his local church @ Novo-Otravitel' and light a candle?
A: To make sure he cleaned out the box for donations completely.
Q: Why do the police keep letting Labour politicians off when they break the law, e.g. during lockdown, or obfuscate about where they live?
A: They're hoping for an easy ride when they screw up badly under a Labour government.
Q: What happens when a Just Stopper idiot tries to deliver a BS letter to Labour stooge Wee Streeting?
A: She gets herself filmed posting it through the letterbox of a house that's nowhere near where Wee lives.
“You don't get proper protesters any more. Just Stoopid kids.” O. Chen-Mnogo

You Knut B. Serious
Is Labour the party of sound finance? That's the mob that took over a balanced budget in 1997 and turned it into a £1,000,000,000,000 Brown hole by 2010. And that was without any help from a global pandemic.
   And now they have a Chancellor wannabe who thinks channelling Margaret Thatcher involves stunting growth & prosperity. Obviously 'sound' in the sense of the amount of noise empty vessels make.

P*r*e*d*i*c*t*i*o*n
There are 12.5 million people collecting the state pension in the UK. Half a million are on the new state pension. When the 8.5% increase is granted in April, the news media will quote the weekly rate for the new state pension and ignore the 12 million people on the Osborne-Swindle old state pension.

Sherie does a themed RoundUp
“The point is, we don't need all this diversity crap. What we need is competent people doing useful work instead of far-Left parasites with a fancy job title hoovering up taxpayers' dosh & wasting millions of pounds of it by giving it to their mates.” Gorb O'Choff
“Diversity is just an Xcuse for favouritism & condoning failure. Talent & Xpertise are rejected in support of Blobism.” Dugass Villain

Below the line mission statement: Some of the above is true. BFN is recognized as a premiere class observational blog and a multiple winner of the OB of the Year award.
   We are constantly exposed to dodgy conclusions drawn from dodgy data by the 'experts', especially those found in the world of politics and especially those at the Treasury and in opposition and running trade unions.
   Some of us civilians at BFN like to join in to let them know that anyone can do it and we ain't impressed by their efforts.

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Created for Romiley Anarchists' League by workers in revolt against oppression to set the record straight in the 3rd millennium. © RAL, March MM24 like anyone cares.