WEEK 1    Putin the ‘flag’ into flagellation

 
Confronting the Red Menace
Despite their nation's painfully obvious creakiness in the presidential department, the US military has summoned up the nerve to rattle its sabres @ Putinstan with a plan to let the UK host some of its nukes again.
   NATO & the UK government could not possibly comment about the deployment but it is known that the weapons are gravity bombs, which are delivered by creating an intense gravity field @ the target area, which makes the arriving bombs unstoppable.

We're back to the Met Office's Yellow Weather & freezing bloody cold after all the Xcitement about Scotland being as hot as the Sahara for about 2 seconds. The jet stream larking about, like it does, is getting the blame.

“Is there anything left of the Narzi Card or have members of the ludicrous far-Left worn it down to a limp rag with their avalanches of deliberately vexatious & ludicrous accusations when their crimes against humanity are Xposed?” Mal Arky

Let them eat tinned food?
Farmers all over Yourope are laying siege to major cities over a lack of income & the Xcessive cost of fuel, fertilizer, etc. They are trying to drive home the point to their respective governments that if farmers go out of business, so will everyone else when famine stalks the continent again.
“It's all down to the ludicrous left climate criminals cutting off the hand that feeds them.” C.A. Targast
“The EFU Xtending its magic Money Tree culture relentlessly.” Len Ingrad

theGrauniadistas wants the NHS to be declared a Notional Emergency as an alternative to doing anything to fix it. How pragmatic of them!

The Princess Di up-fitter M. "Skuldugger" BashedEar is reduced to playing the rachelism card now, the current last refuge of a scoundrel.

How thick are the customers anyway?
The fashion industry is really trading on the gullibility of the customers if it wants them to believe that a coat which will last for more than a few minutes can be made out of rose petals.

gabby bloody lineker fails yet again to be sacked by the BierBC's bosses for claiming to be on the side of the Hamas to get himself noticed.
“Who's he going to start poking after the Israelis go out of fashion? For sure, not the Islamists.” Erry Kroberts

Kerklunk, not Kerching!
Oh, darn. The recession mongers are back in their box, counting up how much they lost from Betting Against Britain. But that's what you get for falling for the Bogus Decimal Point trick applied to the inflation number.

Where would the news mumblers be without the Govester, who confects at least 2 dastardly plots within the Tory party every week, or so the BierBC and the other NMs would have us believe.

Whose dosh is it anyway?
Isn't it a shame that Prince Albrecht of Monagasque can't enjoy his billionaire lifestyle without nosy peasants trying to make money out of counting up what he spends his money on?
   Definitely stocks-fodder.

Esso petrol 137.9p/litre.
Esso diesel 148.9p/litre.
Going up.

Yippeeee! Maybe
The P'MOTUK, Sue Knack, reckons we've turned a corner. If we'd heard that from the Beery Smarmer, we'd assume it was into another blind alley. But maybe the Knack Navigation system actually works.
“No worries about the Beery Bloke taking us into a blind alley. He's sure to do a U-ey and take us back into the blind alley we've just come out of and we're used to.” R. Faleeg

Why not do a proper job?
Say what you like about the evil robots in China, but when it comes to offing the condemned man/person, they don't mess about.
   No inability to find a vein before an arbitrary & ludicrous deadline arrives. No head catching fire like a robot with a lithium battery in its skull. None of the messing about with a rope, even in the hands of someone competent.
   Just a bullet in the back of the neck and a bill for the next of kin.

The West Midlands region is setting new records for measles cases thanks to the efforts of the anti-vaxers.

Making the honcho of the IRA party the First Teashop in Stormont is little different from letting the Hamas be in charge of Gaza.

Politics Inaction
The P'MOTUK says he'll ban selling disposable vapes to kiddies. But this won't happen until several months into 2025.
   By which time, the Snackstabber won't be in the job and the plan will either have been filed in the bin & forgotten or whoever is the P'MOTUK then will be claiming the credit for a brilliant idea.

Scotland's Gaza-connected First Meenister has opted out of the campaign to halt aid to the Palestinians from the UN charity which had to sack 12 people accused of being Hamas.
Wee Sterney Burgeon blubs crocodile tears @ a Chinese plague grilling about her deleted messages. No one fooled for a tiny moment.

Wonk, wonk, wonk, wonk
Notwork Rail is quite okay with breaking its own no political posters rule by decorating a pillar @ London Bridge station with the flags of all deviations.
   Natch, the normal majority is ignored completely. And if women who aren't deviants, or the wrong sort of deviant, feel intimidated, that's just too bad as they can be ignored, too.
   The notworkers are also cool with ignoring minimum service level laws. Time for some stonking fines and wet weeks in the stocks for the guilty parties in both the management & the rail unions, if the new laws are not just political window dressing.

Q: BCE? CE?
A: Before Claptrap Era & Claptrap Era.

Q: Can the reputation of the BierBC be damaged by further revelations about the shenannygoats surrounding the skuldugger BashedEar + Princess Di scandal?
A: No one believes anything the BierBC management says now. You can't damage further, a reputation which has been totally bashed to bitz by a record of dishonesty.
“Let's be clear. No one's going to get the sack or lose bonuses or anything” Cyl Katarg
“It's a wheel-clanger. The BierBC just doesn't do good faith.” O. del'Quatro

Esso petrol 138.9p/litre.
Esso diesel 148.9p/litre.
Going upper.

Never ever inconvenienced by reality
The International Monetary Fiasco (IMF) has confirmed its Untied Nations ludicrous leftness by ordering the UK to go on a Labourite tax 'n' waste splurge instead of cutting taxes.
   The IMFers are also confecting ridiculously miserable forecasts for the UK's likely future economic progress as part of the Get GB campaign.

Sympathy vote solicited
Edstone Milipede, the Beery bloke's wannabe Minister for Net Zero Usefulness, is trawling for a sympathy vote.
   How? By revealing that when he worked @ the Treasury, t.b. liar's minions used to call him the ambassodor from the Planet Fuck on account of Chancellor G.F. Broon's constant & liberal use of swear words.
   Desperate, or what!

It has to be asked—what sort of effect on gorbal warmage can we Xpect from all the wars we're supposed to be having in the next 5-8 years?

Today's Observation:
If robots speak in a clumsy monotone, like a Dalek, that's because the human(s) who built them didn't bother to do a decent job on the speech synthesizer.
   Xperts in Potsdam have concluded that the builders should be giving substitutes for humans a local accent appropriate for the area where they operate to make them more acceptable to non-robots.

Idiots pick our rulers?
Tory MPs & candidates with a beard are under pressure to get shot of it before they stand for election on the grounds that voters are more likely not to vote for a bloke with a beard than for someone who is useless as well as beardless, even if his party is totally useless as well.
   But when did good sense ever have anything to do with pollytics?

Wind changes direction
Bier Smarmer has dropped his guarantee to borrow £140 BILLION @ a rate of £28 BILLION per year to blow on a carbon-free electricity network.
   Someone has managed to bash through his thick skull the news that it's not achieveable for a country with our population.
   Instead, Smarmer has declared the scam to be a target, which he hopes everyone will forget—along with the rest of his guarantees & firm pledges, which are just as unachievable political BS.

Whatever the Future is,
   it ain’t Electric!
Thieving councils in London are ensuring that poor or moderately well off people are unlikely to buy an electric car as they will be unable to afford the rip-off parking charges applied to them.
   Nothing from London's cosmetic mayor about this, of course. He's too busy counting the dosh from his UseLEZ rip-off.
   Add on the stonking depreciation—the average EV is worth about 2p after a couple of years—and absolutely stonk-donking rip-off insurance premiums and it's deferably no poor people allowed to own them.
   And did anyone mention that wind farms can't meet the demand for electricity when the wind don't blow or it blows to hard? But still, boosting the supply when the occasionals fail sounds a great way to put illegal immigrants to useful work until they can be Xported.

"You SlezWhingers!" What to say to the Remoaner lawyers in the House of Frauds. And the bishops and the rest of the far-Left.

The public sector, eh?
Ofsted, the alleged schools inspectorate, has been booted up the bum for idleness by giving schools just a one-word assessment instead of doing a proper job of rating schools. One dead head teacher on the charge sheet already.

Bullet dodged
Anyone spot an asteroid the size of Wembley Stadium whizzing past The Planet on Friday?
   No?
   You're in the almost complete majority.
   The Xperts are claiming the potential death rock detected a lack of dinosaurs and decided to keep on going rather than pay us a visit.
   Which was really nice of it.
“NASA has labelled the buzz-by rock 'potentially dangerous'. But to whom or to what? An alien invasion fleet arriving @ The Planet at the same time as the death rock?” Fun Kiderek
[If the rock were to hit the measles-ravaged Midlands and wiped out that plague, Romiley would feel some of the impact. And also the subsequent earthquakes. And the UK would cop for nickel, iron & cobalt worth £30 BILLION! Ed.]

Weather Control has decreed that Scotland will enjoy Soaking Sunday today and Monsoon Monday tomorrow to ensure that if there's a warm snap, the climate criminals will be unable to claim it's causing forest and moorland wildfires.

Ah! The irrationality that is spreading throughout our society has been Xplained. It's sodium poisoning caused by people putting salt in coffee as well as in tea because it's fashionable.

Sherie drops by with more views
“You had to be really desperate for something to look at to watch the BierBC's lunchtime interminable coverage of the stooges @ Stormont spending all afternoon picking a new Squeaker plus two deputies for the new sheriff.” Desi Krate
“Wee blubbing Burney's 'testimony' to the Scottish inquiry into the Chinese plague handling has been described as more cods than you could wallop in an average 8-hour day. Which sounds about right.” Arno Ghize

Is there any evil & vicious criminal the staff of theGroaner wouldn't consider their best mate?
If illegals are swapping taxpayer-funded hotel rooms to prevent known criminals from being deported, they should be shipped off to Rwanda and told to Xplain themself there with no power of appeal here.
Female professional pool players are having to take legal action to defend their living against an invasion of blokes who are pretending to be women.
Under new management, BP is to continue with its Looney green agenda. And heading for renaming as BF—Busted Flush—when its shares hit Net Zero?

Today’s Wisdom:
Where there's a weirdo, there's a pay day; particularly for the legal trade.

Enemies in the tent
If you were ever in any doubt about whether the UK's snivel service is packed with evil idiots, wonder no more. We have a Notional Crime Agency which thinks it's job is to prevent people from trying to Xport migrants who want to leave the UK.
   And also legal idiots who stick the would-be Xporters in gaol to stop them from doing something sensible.
   In the words of Little John, "You couldn't make it up."

Esky Crapsky
Sky News, home of climate confecters, is getting a booting for claiming that Scotland's brief flirtation with warmth at the end of last month caused wild fires.
   The real news is that there was one blaze and it was caused by a damaged power line. No one dead, either.

Today’s Question:
Are all the online 'platforms' so-called media or just libel lounges?
Discuss.

Bier Smarmer's VAT assault on private schools really is aimed at keeping poor kids from getting a quality education and keeping them iggorant & oppressed, and classic Labour party stooge-fodder.

Today’s Wisdom:
Lining the baking tin when you're making a cake is NEVER a bad idea.

Additional Crapsky
The Arts Council is re-evaluating its Roman collection in the light of the revelation that Julius Caesar wasn't European, he was a dark-skinned Nubian from Africa, and Roman legions were 90% of colour.
   Bets are now being laid on how long it will take the A.C. to reinvent Good Queen Bess; Elizabeth the First; as another Nubian.
   And then there's the prospect of an official portrait of Bier Smarmer looking well baked to attract immigrant votes.

All the talk of the P'MOTUK doing nanny-stating with his ban on disposable vapes is just political hot air. It won't come up for consideration until next year, if it ever does, and Mr. U-Turn Smarmer is currently just as much in favour of it as the Snackstabber.
   And sometime next year will be well after the next general election.

Fae King, the orgasm queen, has ruled that all useless regulators are to be renamed either Ofcrap or Oftwat 'coz that's what they are or the minions are a buncha.

Asleep @ the Lunch Counter or Sympathy Deficit
Train drivers who are on strike to inflate the ego of their union boss will lose more cash from striking & not being paid than they will make from a pay rise. But hey! They're overpaid now and they can afford it.
“Being a bit dim financially is clearly no block when it comes to becoming an overpaid train driver.” Mikal Nite

Just Negligent
The criminal immigrant who attacked 3 people with something corrosive was given asylum despite his 2 sex crime convictions. There should be sackings in the Church, which encouraged him to pretend to be a Christian, not a Moslem, and the legal trade & snivel service for making this happen. But, of course, there won't be.

How curious that the Snackstabber prime monster is doing nothing about the Tory party's abominable Machinations Man, a.k.a. Thuggie Smiff.

In future, the baby-killer L. Letby will be referred to as a neofatal nurse rather than a neonatal one.
   Unless she can get the legal trade to cancel her convictions.

Labour's health spokes, Wee Streeting, is in trouble for suggesting that transpicaters should not be made the No. 1 Priority of the NHS to the Xclusion of all normal people.

‘Just is’ crazy
In Talibanistan, we are invited to accept, a bloke doing a chemical attack on a women is part of what passes for the local Islamist culture. Which makes it okay for an illegal entrant & bogus asylum seeker from there, who acquired sex crime convictions in the UK and still got asylum, to do it here.

Sherie returns with themed rants
“The government shouldn't be giving the Home Office more cash for housing uninvited migrants. The Home Sec. should be told to be more cleverley and cut down on the quality of what's on offer and tell the buggers to go home if they're not happy.” Col Imate
“The H.O. wants 2.6 BILLION QUID of our money for bogus asylum seekers? Fucq in the direction of off is the only possible reply.” Hull Dredger
“20 years in gaol for wanting to kill specifically a transpicater & only 2 years more for wanting to kill just anyone? That doesn't sound terribly proportionate. But then there seems to be little just about the justice system.” Inno Portune
“It 'just is' a product of whatever it was the judge had for lunch?” Catas Trophy
“The main problem is that the rules are set & 'enforced' by the far-Left, who have a vested interest in keeping their people out of gaol to bulk up the numbers when the crazies stage a riot.” M. Stron

A perk of dicktatership
Putrid the Poisoner's lakeside retreat, built on land stolen from Finland, has had to be outfitted with a missile system to defend it against the inevitable attack which will be launched when Putinstan starts the war which it can't win against a NATO country during the next 5-8 years.

Q: How long does the smell of cinnamon linger in the kitchen after a cake-baking session?
A: At least 3 days, depending on nasal sensitivity and how much time the back door spends open whilst the cat dithers on the doormat.

The absurdity of an oppressive regime
The headbangers in India locked up a pigeon for 3 months before deciding it wasn't a Chinese spy & evicting it; with publicity; to fend for itself in the enviromint.
   Is it comforting to know that all the world's weirdos are not concentrated in the YewKay? Not terribly.

The regime in Israel, led by a prime monster who should be on trial for corruption, keeps being compared to the Narzi regime of the 1930s. But a more accurate comparison would be the Soviet Union, which held on to annexed by force territories for multiple decades whilst oppressing the locals.

Deferably the Hound of the Bonkersvilles
That toothless watchdog the Financial Conduct Accessory has announced that it has no powers to stop banks & building societies from closing branch offices.
   But if no one thought it did have that power—why? Attention seeking?

Labour had done another U-ey. No cap on bankster bonuses now. Presumably, in anticipation of cash donations as tokens of gratitude.

Contributions to the General Revenue from motorists busted for using a phone or tablet whilst driving went up 93% between 2021 & 2022. The police actually doing their job and vindictive cyclists are getting the credit.

The BierBC is developing a cute alibi for not producing documents relating to that Princess Di interview—a claim that the skuldugger BashedEar destroyed them, not the BierBC management.

Big and Rich?
The Worst Xcuse of the Year Award has gone to Luton in Bedfordshire, where the inhabitants are blaming their status as the fattest town in the UK on the council.
   Why? Because it has lets lotz of fast-food chicken joints open and the useless Lutonites are unable to stop scoffing. For some reason, they think they have to do every joint at least once a week, or once a day if they can manage it.

We have another newspaper hyphen-howler to go with supery-acht and all the rest. Patterd-ale is the latest. Who sez A.I.s can rule the world?
[A breed of terrier. Ed.]

Esso petrol 138.9p/litre in Romiley.
Esso diesel 149.9p/litre.
Still going up.

Not so much can’t win as ain’t supposed to
As punishment for the Bonk of England's failure to do what it was ordered to and reduce the bank rate from 5.25% to 5%, the DoomBuggers have begun wailing & gnashing of teef over deflation instead of inflation.
   According to them, deflation will make everyone totally & stoatally broke in September 2025.

17% of transpicaters think it's a good idea to play the mental 'elf card, we are supposed to believe. Cobblers, say the Xperts, who reckon the claim is based on dodgy data & dodgy methodology recommended by a charity that makes a living out of sexual minorities and the more demented parts of both the public & private sectors.

“If a Tory government has blown millions of our money on stuff like training micro-aggressions out of snivel servants in addition to what it threw at dodgy charities, then the number will be in the BILLIONs if Labour gets in at the next general election.” A.R. Noldator

Q: Why are they called ambulances?
A: From the Latin, ambulare, to walk, because most of the time, we are led to believe, you'd get to the hospital faster on foot than waiting for one to turn up.

Got nowt & proud of it
Bier Smarmer had decided to go into the formal general election period with nothing on offer in the way of policies to prevent the customers from realizing that anything he does have to offer is rubbish and/or a potential hostage to fortune.
An Xpert reckons Labour will fight the general election on the ishue of Tory competency. Which opens the Smarmeristas to questions about Labour's highly visible lack of it. Most of the potential ministers are Diane Abbotts, and his party is split between resentful Corbynsteiners, Hamas & a scattering of creatures who put a job before loyalty to any given faction.
“This alleged Xpert is a guy who thinks t.b. liar is a jolly fine fellow. Nuff sed!” Des Trovenor
Lest we forget, back in October of last year, the Beery One announced that he would have a zero promises manifesto for the next general election to avoid accusations of bad faith when he failed to deliver. But can he be trusted to deliver nothing at all, given the politician's urge to meddle and make things worse?

What is the price of playing nice and letting Stormont reopen with the boss of the local Hamas-equivalent in charge? Three point three BILLION quid of English taxpayers' dosh. Wunderbar.

Suddenly relevant again book of the Month: Allah’s Thunder by Henry T. Smith Iran posed a serious threat to the world order at a time when the USA and post-communist Russia sought a new world balance of power. Iranian-backed terrorists believed that they had a divine right to kidnap and kill US citizens. An old Russian submarine crashed in the Arabian Gulf. An Americans salvage operation recovered its nuclear warheads and options for revenge became available.    Neville Sangster's CIA think-tank devised a scheme for assassination by earthquake. On the Russian side, a fruitless search for the lost submarine, an Israeli attempt to steal warheads from the United States and Saint Petersburg Seismic Institute's attempts to forecast an earthquake in the central desert belt focussed the attention of General Pugachyov of the Department of Special Operations on Iran.    General Pugachyov saw himself as a man of great vision who was hampered by his department's watchdog – a traditionalist, who would consider his plan an act of supreme lunacy. General Pugachyov preferred to think of it as the greatest engineering project of all time. Vintage : Late 1980s / Category: Alternate history.

Public Service Announcement He's been called the Blogger of the Decade His intellect is matched only by the size of his luck and the size of his bank balance. And yet he manages to keep his Feet On The Ground with the greatest of ease. Do yourself a favour and find out what Xavier has had to say about what's going on Right Now!

WEEK 2    Putin the ‘rant’ into tyrant

 
Following complaints about the amount of Yellow Weather which has been inflicted on us recently, the Romiley area & points north have been awarded a morning of Amber Weather for today.
Wellie Time
“After all the Met Office alarmism about Amber Weather, I was Xpecting to see Romiley knee-deep in snow this morning. But it's just cold and soggy from loadsa rain. And the snow boots can stay in their box.” Bobert Hardcase
[Just minutes after we added the above comment, flakes of wet snow started falling and melting in contact with the wet ground. Ed.]

Today’s Redefinition: Standing ovation
An audience rises to its feet to make it easier to chuck rotten eggs at the rotten performer(s).

Is there any depth to which Smarmer won't sink? Arse! Trying to set himself up as a victim after the prime monster listed his current catalogue of defects by complaining about hurting the feelings of a murder victim's mother who wasn't there in the Commons gallery is . . . well, what you'd Xpect from a lawyer turned politician. Arse!
[Deferably a candidate for a standing ovation. Ed.]

Today’s Question:
Is it really part of the Prime Monster's job to Xplain defects in the Labour leader's understanding of basic human biology?

Desperation Road
The regime in Pakistan is getting really hard up for Xcuses to add to the gaol time of corrupt & deposed ex-prime monster I. Khan. It has to be if the current gang of bods-in-charge are reduced to complaining that Khan's current wife didn't wait 3 months after shedding her previous husband before they got married.

Interim verdict
Brexit, four years on, has not been the disaster Project Fear wanted it to be but it could have been a lot better but for the continual foot-dragging by the Remoaners in the snivel service and Those People in political circles.

More wheels coming off
Snivel servants skiving off on long-term sick leave cost the taxpayer £119 MILLION per year due to a failure of management stooges to create reasonable performance Xpectations and dispense with duds.
GPs are worried that giving their customers full access to their medical records will panic so many of them that the GP service will be drowned in requests for appointments to address the confected fears.

“Is the vanishing corrosive chemical attacker going to be excommunicated for using the Church to push a bogus asylum claim through a defective system and then bringing the organization into disrepute? Like that's going to happen.” A.L. Ternate

“If Wee Burney Sturgeon is now seen as the Richard M. Nixon of Scottish politics, is she off to China to sort out President Eleven as her next move?” Tokio Javon

Gimme More!
The Large Hadron Collider @ CERN is to be replaced by an XL Bully Collider as it is no longer large enuff. It was large enuff to legitimize the Higgs' Bozo 'God Particle' but there are greater challenges on the horizon.

Ignore the past forever
Ethiopia is having another famine. The global warming swindle is getting the blame for the locals having children they can't support & trying to live in areas that won't support them.
   Things like the odd war or two over useless territory are being ignored, of course. Because we are dealing with a swindle, after all.

Iceland's tourist volcano is putting on a show again. As ever, there is no immediate threat to human life & air travel.
   Let us hope it generates enuff income to replace everything its lava flows have eaten.

More attention-seeking
The Archbish of Cantab, Señor Wetby, is so lacking in things to whinge about that he has been reduced to turning a condemnatory thumb down on the cancel culture, which lacks forgiveness, he reckons.
   Which misses the point entirely.
   Cancellation & forgiveness don't belong in the same universe. But hey, when did facts ever get in the way of a good whinge!

Bier Smarmer has been forced to bin his plan to blow £140,000,000,000 on pointless greenwash garbage. It has taken him 3 years to realize that this cast-iron, solid, pillar of his manifesto just won't achieve anything worthwhile.

Do Only Evil?
The self-appointed child protecters are lobbying for the government to declare all contact with children to be a form of child abuse with gaol time as the penalty.
   Translation: Hug your kid and you'll end up behind bars.
“Sounds like all these hug-buggers have shares in the firms that will get the job of building all the Xtra prisons needed.” Imry Mekon

A footballer & social icon on £375K per week can afford only a 12-hour binge on tequila? Poor lad.
   Obviously underpaid & Xploited shamelessly.

Tories told: “Stop twatting about.”
The Xperts reckon that the next general election will be decided by 10 million people who are not happy with what the Tories are doing but definitely shitely do not want Labour buggering things up again.

The clergyperson who claimed that chemical attacker & sex-criminal A. Ezedi was committed to Christianity & deserving of asylum is to be prosecuted for perjury. Home Office staff who failed to deport this criminal will also face severe sanctions.
The Church of England has been condemned as unashamedly an accessory before, during and after the fact of the confection of a bogus asylum claim for Ezedi.
Creaky Joe Xplained: If you are the honcho of a party called the Democraps, what else can you be but of Net Zero use?

The function of the International Monetary Fudge (IMF) Xplained:
Their job is to make astrology look as much like a solid science as physics.
IMF forecasts of what the UK economy will do have been dead wrong 82.7% of the time over the last 7 years. Its far-Left bean-counters hope to get this up to at least 90% over the next 2 years.

Q: How can you tell if the battered fish in my local supermarket comes from an English catch and it's not some inferior foreign substitute?
A: If it looks like the battering was done with a cricket bat, you're okay. Otherwise, shop elsewhere.
Q: Would Albert Einstein have fallen for the meter scam, which is abusing his image in a ludicrous cartoon form?
A: One hopes he would have been too smart to have anything to do with this scam.
Q: Is there a problem about getting employment in this country if you are a member of an ethnic minority?
A: There can be sectors where useless loafers have played the ethnic card @ a tribunal often enough to poison the minority well.

Esso petrol 139.9p/litre in Romiley.
Esso diesel 149.9p/litre.
Going up relentlessly.

“’Oi, mates! Over ’ere!”
Feeling deprived of the attention it deserves, the Icelandic rift volcano has attacked water supply pipes with lava from its latest outburst. As a result, a geothermal spa has been evacuated and supplies of water and geothermal heating to the south of the country have been cut off.
   Attention granted, honour satisfied, the volcano is backing off again.
   The Icelanders are counting themselves lucky that the lava has avoided important areas. But if the appreciation level drops again, all bets are off.

Colour Coded
The French, Spanish & other farmers who are blocking roads and having barbeques all over the EFU, and laying siege to capital cities and the EFU's institutions in Brussels, are not the yellow variety of vest pests. They insist that they are Gilets Vertes.
Enterprising Europeon manufacturers are hoping to break into the British market following our farmers' Go-Slo rampage @ the Port of Dover on the second Friday of the month.

Virtue Codswallop
The EFU strategy for farms is to put an end to agriculture in Europe so that it can point an accusing finger @ American & Asian & other countries as nasty carbon emitters.
   That's the foreign parts of the world which produce all the food that the EFU gang will have to import when there's no longer any agriculture in the bloc.

The UK government is reported to be ready to launch air strikes if the Houthi equivalents in Ulster get cute.
   "We know who they are and where they are," a spokes revealed.

FakeBuk is to flag images on its platform which were created by A.I.s? Maybe it would be less of a distraction if they just flagged the handful of real ones, sez our Xpert.

Democraps in the US are frantically trying to come up with a way to prevent D. Trump from giving himself a full pardon from the crimes confected against him by the far-Left when he becomes the next POTUS.

Inconvenient history
The IRA honcho @ Stormont reckons that despite the coming war with Putinstan, there will be a vote in Ulster on joining up with the Irish Republic within a decade.
The southern Irish are not amused when reminded that their island is a place where every tinpot landowner thinks he's a king and the only time the place has ever been united is under Britisch rule.

Just the job!
1. The GRU in Putinstan, successor to the KGB, is reported to be eager to recruit Post Office Horizon 'investigaters', who persecuted innocent sub-postmasters ruthlessly. They have the right stuff for the GRU's job.
2. Our far-Left loonies have raised political censorship to the level Xperienced in China during the reign of Mao Zhe-Dong and his anti-cultural revolution. The opinion comes from a bloke who knows what he's talking about—a refugee from China, who has no plans to return.

Any product advertised as carbon-neutral or carbon-free is a swindle. You have been warned!

Sherie’s back with more views on politicians
“Jockodile tears is how sometime editor of TheScum K. McKenzie described Wee Burney's bogus blubbing @ the Chinese plague inquiry in Scotland. Which was spot-on.” S. Cramble
“If Creaky Joe had any working brain cells, he'd stop doing comments to a microphone and get a coherent minion to do it.” Tone Resistor
“Typical Smarmer, the bastard was lying. The murder victim's mother wasn't in the Commons public gallery when the Snackstabber did his list of Smarmer's defects. Did the smarmy one care? Nah, he was too busy making it all about him to let reality poke its nose in.” A. Nomaly

The endemic problem with the Labour party is its refusal to give up on its belief that there's a Magic Money Tree, and also its notion that borrowing and wasting vast amounts of money; at huge expense to the taxpayer; is sound economic policy.

With challenges from the pro-British parties & the Moslem pro-Palestinians, both Tories & Labour could be reduced to a rump after the next general election. Gosh!

The Bane of our Lives . . .
. . . is the C-word, 'could'. It covers everything from 'maybe, possibly' to 'no bloody chance, mate, we're just saying that to get your hopes up'.

Today's Saying:
As Honest as Sugar is Ray.

Clients Forever?
Despite a huge population & a huge economy, India is still dependent on the UK for funding its space programme and looking after the animals; usually elephants; which people there mistreat so casually.
   No danger of this aid tap being turned off anytime soon, of course, and the Indians being made to stand on their own feet after consigning their begging bowl to a museum.
   Scroungers is for all eternity.
“A begging bowl which the museum would sell to us so that a future Indian government could claim that it was a national treasure which had been looted by the Britisch & demand it back.” Con Tiguity
[One thing that the current supply of foreigners is Xcellent @ is turning us in Britain into cynics. Ed.]

London is on target to run out of coppers willing to handle firearms by the end of 2025 if the present rate of resignations from firearms units continues.
The Trivial Democrap leader E. Gravy is getting the blame for causing the current NHS mental 'elf crisis by making it an alibi of choice. He is widely seen as a problem with no solutions on offer.
London's Sadgeek cosmetic mayor has blown £150 MILLION on stealth preparations for charging motorists on a pay-per-mile basis. He's trying to deny this, which confirms that it's true.
Hapless Hairy is getting a booting for adding 10,000 miles to his carbon footprint and putting millions of tons of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere just to spend 12 guesstimated minutes with his dad.
Mass arrests of those members of the CoE & the legal trade who are gaming the asylum system Xpected soon.

Today's Questions:
1. How long will it take the IRA-in-charge Stormonters to waste all of the £3.3 BILLION that they blagged from English taxpayers and throw another wobbly when no more is forthcoming?
2. How would a Labour government try to raise the cash it needs for bribes? By sticking both fists into private pensions is just one of the scams on the list.
“A successor to Gordon F. Broon, the man who stole your pension—Bier F. Smarmer?” R.E. Lapse

New chargers for electric cars are being concentrated in the Sarf of England, particularly around London, 'coz the ruling elite ain't bovvered about the rest of their peasants polluting themselves with engine Xhaust.
“Or with their local peasants polluting themselves with the enormous amounts of tyre debris shed by heavier electric vehicles?” Take 19

There's a rumour going round that they were doing American Crunch in Nevada yesterday. Meanwhile, it's dustbin day in Romiley today.
[Just to put things in perspective, Ed.]

Levelling Up
The Church of England to be outlawed as a criminal conspiracy engaged in fraud & crimes against the person? Led astray by crooked lawyers, is the alibi the Church is ready to deploy.
Also on the list is the Premiere League for using a Stasi-style gang of 'investigaters' to ruin the lives of unwoke football fans. Which is a crime against the target's 'uman bluddy rights & also data protection laws.
Also on the agenda is a fine of £14 million for Newcastle United FC for pretending that it has 'values' which are worth one bean, never mind a hill of them.

“Has gbl ever been to a football match or are his opinions about this as useless as those offered on any other subject?” N. Onpareil

28,000 Palestinians now killed by the Israeli Death Force, including a 6-year-old girl, who spent 3 hours on a phone, surrounded by dead relatives after they were confronted by a tank, before a Red Crescent ambulance got permission from the Israelis to rescue her. The ambulance crew of 2 also ended up dead.

Get out of this!
An industrial tribunal has ruled that holding anti-Zionist views is a 'uman bluddy right and anyone sacked because of such views is entitled to apply for compenbloodysation.
   The ruling creates a distinction between anti-Semitism [which includes Arabs as well as Jews, Ed.] and the actions of the regime in Israel.
The sacked professor who made the complaint now works for an Iranian-owned TV channel. 'Nuff sed.

Fist, taxpayer’s pocket, again
Bier Smarmer (lawyer) would open up equal pay laws to make them a feeding ground for dodgy activist lawyers if he gets to be PM.
   No one is surprised as this is a recognized part of the Labour agenda, which creates fake problems in an attempt to conceal the party's lack of answers to actual real-world challenges.

The committed Christian chemical attacker & fugitive is having the 'Your life is in danger if your injuries are left untreated' card played against him on the off-chance that he's still alive. Meanwhile, the Met continues to look for him in the River Thames, but no one is expecting much in the way of success.

Q: How do you lure a teenager to an appointment with a violent death?
A: With an offer of a chance to get rat-arsed on cocaine.

President pro tem Creaky Joe ain't an idiot, he's just dead in the head.
[Certified by a genuine American source. Ed.]

Politics, NOT science
The climate criminals are at it again, claiming last year was the hottest in the whole history of The Universe.
   They would have us believe that changes well within their measurement error limits are cause for alarm and they are making spurious comparisons with The Planet's climate was up to 125,000,000 years ago whilst ignoring the simple fact that they lack the data to do so.

The cast-iron alibi
++ Creaky Joe awarded Get Out Of Gaol Free card ++ Court rules him old bloke with dodgy memory and no idea what he's doing ++ Official! ++ Can never be charged with political confected BS the way the Democraps are assaulting D. Trump ++ Even if he had a garage stuffed illegally with TOP SECRET documents ++

There at last for the showdown, Super-Duper Bowl LIIX
Super Bowl 58 was played @ the Allegiant Stadium in Paradise, Nevada. The NFC champion San Francisco 49ers were favourites to beat the AFC champion Kansas City Chiefs, who won last year. Now read on . . .
   A promising SF start ended in a fumble to KC, who went 3 & out. A flag-fest went to a SF punt. 3 & out again for KC. SF kicked a 54-yard FG as the 2nd play of Q2. KC woke up but coughed up the ball @ the SF 9.
   Punt, punt. SF reached the KC 21, TD pass to McCaffrey, 10-0 in the 11th minute. KC reached the red zone with a minute left in the half, sacked to a FG, 10-3. Fast forward through the half-time messing about.
   KC started Q3 with 2 plays then a pick by SF at their 44; nowt from it. Punt, punt. A 60-yard FG for KC got them to 10-6 after 10 minutes. Punt, punt but SF bogged receiving the KC kick, KC at the SF 16, TD for Scandling from the next play, 10-13.
   SF got close in Q4 and Jennings took a TD pass in the 4th minute. The PAT try was blocked, 16-13. KC reached the SF 4, FG, 16-all with 6 minutes left. SF kicked a 53-yarder after the 2 minute warning, 19-16. KC got to FG range in the last minute, at the SF 11 with 10 seconds left, pass incomplete, FG, 19-all and OT.
   Did SF go 3 & out? That was 'out of gaol' after a penalty on KC let them keep going to scoring range, FG, 22-19. KC reach the SF 13 with time running out. A 3-yard TD pass to Hardman with a couple of 2 left gave them another win, 22-25. Can they Threepeat?

Politics or Pillocktics?
Labour picked a candidate with Asian heritage for the waste of money Rochdale by-election to hoover up the Moslem vote. The wheels came off when the bloke showed out as violently anti-Israeli enuff to get himself sacked.
The bloke is still on the ballot paper and if he wins, Labour will do the usual U-ey and take him back into the fold. Until the general election later this year, when he'll be dumped again. Or not, if not is more convenient.

Point out that the human contribution to atmospheric carbon dioxide is a tiny fraction of the natural world's and they try to change the subject.
   Point out that the major producers of human-sourced carbon dioxide are doing nothing to lower their output and everything done is places like the UK is meaningless, and they don't want to know.
   It's politics, which means that it's all about the money and truth, decency & science can get lost.
Human-source carbon dioxide emissions are a tiny fraction of the natural carbon cycle. The politicians Xpect us to to accept that this is balanced so delicately that the less than 4% contributed by humans cannot be incorporated into the natural cycle and that the human race is solely responsible for any rise in atmospheric carbon dioxide. Hence the Net Zero scam.

Prince Hairy could give his encancered Dad only about 10 minutes during a flying visit here 'coz he had to shoot straight back to the US to do the NFL Awards show in Nevada on the Thursday before the Super-Duper Bowl was played.
It is understood that Prince H. did not have to pay to be at the event.

You couldn’t make it up!
The Guinness Book of Records was deluged with derision from all sides after disallowing a model of the Eiffel Tower, which took 8 years to build, 'coz the looney constructor used the wrong sort of matches!!!
The Guinness nits have had to unpick their equally loony rule and accept the entry.
“If the builder bloke had to buy his matches from shops instead of headless ones in bulk from a manufacturer, he'd still be on the job at the end of this decade!” Loh Engrin

Q: Why can't being a scumbag in a public place be made a crime aimed @ the yobs who climb on war memorials, deface buildings, etc.?
A: Because the courts would end up jammed solid with coppers who were arrested by citizens for failing to arrest vexatious scumbags.
[We were here before in November of last year, and the yobs are breaking current laws. It's just that the police & the courts can't be arsed to enforce them. Ed.]

Why he’s no longer a Sir
Objections from the Serbian government are believed to be behind the Commons Speaker calling the Labour leader Beer Smarmer instead of Sir Beer Smarmer, which can sound like Serbia Smarmer. The Serbians have expressed a wish not to be associated with him.

Esso petrol 141.9p/litre in Romiley.
Esso diesel 151.9p/litre.
Going up relentlesslyer.

Snivel servants are claiming that 78 MILLION QUID spent just in 2023 on the Chinese plague circus all went on stuff that was value for money.
   Which just confirms what we already knew; civil servants don't come from the same planet as the rest of us and they don't get our money.
[That's 'get' in the sense of understanding rather than cramming their pockets full of it. Ed.]

The transpicater industry is making a bomb out of rebuilding homosexual kids—with the full the approval of elements of the Labour party, apparently.

The Equality & 'Uman bluddy Rights Commission has been declared unfit for purpose in the wake of a failed attempt, led by the chief Xecutive, to stitch up the chairman, Lady Faulkner, when she took a stance in favour of women's rights and upset the transpicater lobby.

Today’s Dilemma:
Are there enuff brushes for our current leaders to be as daft as?

Evil-Doer Noos
Bier Smarmer outraged after Tory exposé rips the wheels off his 140 billion zillion quid greenwash scam.
Whistle-blower vicar blows doors off CoE criminal conspiracy to back bogus asylum claims.
Home Office just as complicit in gaming asylum system.
[Is there enuff Mickey for these SOBs to take some each? Ed.]
“Not in the Commons chamber is the best place to be if you don't have a sick bag when Bier Smarmer throws a fraudulent hissy fit and tries to make your teenage child's violent death all about him.” T. Ragedy

Self-inflicted discord
The reason why the Irish Republic is so keen on taking over Ulster is that lots of the customers are worried about Irish people becoming a minority in their own country and they want some reinforcements.
   This is a crisis caused by their own government letting in a flood of bogus asylum seekers. Hence the need to dilute the incomers with the descendants of earlier Scottish incomers in the North.
The consequent culture clashes & crime wave, which has included several murders and stabbings by migrants on the streets of Dublin, haven't helped.

Fall Oot
Smarmer's back-tracking on his ludicrous Left greenwashing venture has got the SNP yelling that he's going to deprive Scotland of 50,000 jobs.
“Maybe the 50,000 could be diverted to doing useful work? Just a thought.” Charles Aperplexy

The Xperts are dead sure that there will be a war in what's left of this decade. They just can't agree on the enemy—China, Iran or Putinstan.

Q: What's this Suesex.com thing? Some really hairy porn website run by Sue?
A: We haven't been able to summon the energy to look.

Advertisement Mr. Wydey’s Book List Highly Recommended Reading, Authors worth pursuing & some Awful Warnings, Hundreds of Bux listed!

WEEK 3    Putin the ‘piracy’ into conspiracy

 
90% of Brits think the o'bese should pay a surcharge on top of a normal airline fare, just like those overloaded with luggage.

A rare outbreak of good sense
Finnair has started to weigh both passengers & their luggage in a trial to get a more accurate value for a flight's necessary fuel load; including the usual safety margin; to reduce the amount of fuel lugged about for no good reason.
   Another project with the gorbal warmage label, but one of the rare ones which actually make sense.

Humbug Useless leaves chilly Scotland in favour of a holiday in Katar, second home of the Hamas. Brilliant idea.
++ Noted climate criminal scourge bungs some cash to Labour party ++ Smarmer's £140 BILLION of greenwash binned ++ No connection, no way ++
What do you find when you go looking in the Thames for a chemical-hurling thug's remains? Two entirely unexpected bodies!
The Metropolitan police are recruiting more officers in an attempt to prevent Christians from singing their songs and parading their religion in the capital.

Is it really worth yelling about ramping up spending on our Armed Forces, as the pundits are busy doing right now, if we are doomed go out of 2024 with a Labour government?
   Any cash spent before the election on planning will be wasted as an anti-Britisch Labour regime is sure to invite Putrid the Poisoner to park some of his Armed Forces in abandoned US bases here to make it easier for him to intimidate the western Europeon nations.

Sherie does Saviours of the Universe
“Smarmer ditched his £140 BILLION greenwash plan because it would undermine Labour's economic credibility? Wot credibility? Gordon F. Broon trashed it forever. Smarmer's sorry crew will do Net Zero to repair the damage in government.” Lordel Plus
“Bier Smarmer wants to stick the UK with £540 MILLION/week of borrowing to pay for his climate mission, which will achieve bugger all. Guess who will be paying for it. Plus all the interest. Clue: it won't be someone called Bier.” Nofe Hoolin
“Is Bier any more in contact with reality than Creaky Joe?” R. Famo

In the Untied States, if your 15-year-old kid does a massacre @ the monster's high school and the lawyers get their way, you could end up in gaol for 60 years for inflicting the monster on the world and buying him the assault rifle used in the massacre for his birthday
   Parental responsibility with teeth.

Police farces in England & Wales let 40% of shoplifters walk by not being arsed to turn up @ supermarkets where security staff have grabbed a crook.

Today’s Misunderstandings:
1 Was the message from the MoD 'new kit' or 'nuke it'?
2. BierBC Hype Layer or iPlayer?

The Heavy Mob Challenged
A road tax surcharge for super-heavy SUVs is on the cards. It will be sold as a contribution to repairing potholed roads, which have been devastated by vehicles twice as heavy; and more; than the roads were designed to cope with. But the cash, as ever, will just vanish down the usual plugholes.
Road-destroying EVs will be Xcused the surcharge if the greenwashers get their way.

theGrauniad is claiming that this year is already on course to be the worst ever for people on a low income. And why? 'Coz the grauniadistas in the snivel service & local government wasted, and continue to waste, an absolute fortune on greenwash, diversity BS and other stuff of no interest or value to struggling customers. And they have no intention of letting up. Ever.

Kingswood by-election result a plague on both houses, both big losers

party	2024 votes	2019 votes	change	turnout
Labour	11,176	16,492	-5,316	37.1% (2024)
Conservative	8,675	27,712	-19,037	71.5% (2019)

Wellingborough by-election, same story, lotz of punters didn't bother

party	2024 votes	2019 votes	change	turnout
Labour	13,844	13,737	+107	30.1% (2024)
Conservative	7,408	32,277	-24,869	51.9% (2019)

Today’s Predictions:
1. Darth Vader will be drafted to replace Creaky Joe as the Democrap candidate in November.
“Makes a lot more sense that co-opting Mrs. O'Bummer!” Rogue Anjosh
2. Putrid to be forced to make his military embrace woke bollocks & carbon neutrality, as our MoD has done, in the interests of fair play.

According to a correspondent: "They went round and changed all the NO SMOKING signs to NO SNORING to see how long it took people to spot the changes, and actually say something about it instead of just having a giggle and moving on."

Is it possible to praise Bier Smarmer for doing a U-ey on his greenwash billions 'pillar of his manifesto' & upsetting a whole gang of those making billions out of the gorbal warmage fraud? Not if the wind could change direction and he could re-decide it's a brilliant idea.
“Does Smarmer not get on with the Reeves woman because she's taller than him? The old inferiority complex getting out of control?” Sarsap Arilla

The No. 1 tip for bogus Xtians is to know the difference between Good Friday & Black Friday.

Beltain Braces Don't have an embarrassing trouser collapse incident @ your May Day Celebration. ++ Guaranteed Security ++ Designs for all tastes Lotz of other Beltane gifts for friends Romiley Gifts, 44c Riverside Drive

Wages of Sin, and like that
Oh, dear! Sugar Ray's chickens are coming home to roost. Having stuck a knife in President Boris' back, the ex-Downing Street bod is now seen as the ideal dumping ground for the blame for Smarmer's zillion billion pound greenwashing U-ey.
   She is being positioned as the one who kept telling Smarmer it was the best idea in the world. Right up until the wheels came off.
   The Magic Milipede is also getting a big share of the greenwashing blame.
“It's bliar & Broon all over again, the prophets are saying about Smarmer & Reeves, his Chancellor wannabe and another Labourite fatal female, who's taller than him, which is a source of great embarrassment.” L.E Vator
“Maybe Smarmer needs to start wearing built-up cowboy boots, instead of those trainers he never does any training in, so that he can tower over Reeves & Milipede.” Tomar Nold
“Guess what? It will turn out that Smarmer backing the 'anti-Israeli regime' election candidate in Rochdale initially, and then his U-ey, will all be Sugar Ray's fault.” B. Hind
'Psycho' Sugar Ray is in trouble for being nasty to Labour party staffers and bullying them mercilessly and nicking phones to spy on the contents when she was looking for the greenwash leaker, which is a gross abuse of the owner's 'uman bluddy rights & data protection laws.

DEPARTURES
Alexei Navalny is another opponent added to Putin the Poisoner's score card. An attempt to see him off with Novichok failed and a leap out of a 6th floor window is too much of a cliché now. What to do with someone who exposes corruption relentlessly? Trump up some charges and send him off to a Siberian death camp, where the cause of death will remain a state secret.

Esso petrol 142.9p/litre in Romiley.
Esso diesel 152.9p/litre.
Going up and up and up and up.

The Nation looks on in amazement
According to the Green Alliance, the most powerful influencer in Britain is . . . the actor Rowan Atkinson, who invented the hapless Mr. Bean. [The actor himself is far from hapless, it needs to be pointed out. Ed.]
   According to the Green Goonies, the failure of the entire nation to dash out and buy an overpriced & dodgy EV is 100% down to the influence of Mr. Atkinson and his view that it would be a good idea to postpone buying one until the technology & infrastructure are more developed.

Missing Person: Ed Gravy, leader of the Trivials. A nation hopes he stays lost but his party would like to have a word with him about the loss of deposits in both of this week's by-elections.

Useless Serial Liar: Bier Smarmer is claiming a HUGE swing to Labour in this week's by-elections. When Labour lost over 5,000 votes compared to 2019 in one of them, and scored about the same in the other.
   Looks like it's time for Smarmer to sack his lying coach. He's still hopeless at doing a competent job of it.

“If Beer Smarmer really thought his greenwashing 28 BILLION quid per year scam would save The Planet as well as Britain, he belongs in a looney bin, not the Commons. Nothing any government does here will have any measurable effect on the climate of The Planet, no matter how much lying politicians like Smarmer do.” I. Sotope
[The lying coach definitely needs to go! Ed.]

This Week’s Question:
Whose murder will Smarmer seek to weaponize when confecting even more undeserved victimhood on sordid political grounds?

Q: Footsal?
A: Five-a-side indoor football played on a gym-style hard floor. It's the same concept as the vanished American Arena Football League, an indoor version of the NFL. The first two attempts at it went bankrupt. There's another go planned for later this year.
   One of the AFL's graduates, Kurt Warner, went on to become the NFL's MVP twice and the Most Valuable Player of Super Bowl 34, which was won by the Greatest Show on Turf, a.k.a. his team the St. Louis Rams.

Why, one wonders, don't the bogus asylum seekers just claim they've gone off religion and they're atheists now, which would mean not having to learn all the Christian rigmarole.
   They 'could' still be at risk if sent back to Iran or wherever; a very stretched 'could' if they're totally insignificant.
   Too many people making money about the alternate religion to Islam scam?

Irrelevance Rulz, Nokay!
The far-Left Green party has been done for damages after sacking a deputy leader who dared to question the party's relentless pro-transpicater stance. This is an ishue which is nothing to do with the environment. It's just an act of faith for the looney Left and a major Do Not Approach warning for real people.

Wise words heading for endemically deaf ears
The government's Common Sense Tsar, E. McVey, has warned councils that if they want more taxpayers' dosh, they will have to cut back on waste; which may just solve their problem(!) if they spend the amount blown on diversity & similar PCBS on things of actual value to the customers.
The Govester, the Levelling Up Bod, has told them the same.

“Triffic downpour last nite. There was a 3-car-length puddle going half way across the road at a flooded drain at the entrance to Romiley Park.” Snap Haunce

The latest fashion in London is to get pissed and wave a bottle around on a bus whilst threatening to do an acid attack on anyone within reach.

The truth will out
In a lucid moment, Creaky Joe labelled Israel's dodgy PM, Net&Yahoo, an asshole who wants to drag out the war in Gaza to stay in power & intimidate Israel's judiciary before his corruption trial.
   Sadly for the Democraps and the Untied States, the bursts of lucidity are becoming less frequent.

Having given up on greenwash, but not on being among Smarmer's ministerial wannabes, Edstone Milipede is looking for something else mind-numbingly stoopid to be in charge of.

Bier Smarmer claims the Labour party has changed with him in charge. And it has. From fairly anti-Semitic to 99.9% anti-Semitic.
   This is progress? Evidently in Smarmala-la-land.

Proportionality:
“It's all very well for the honcho of NHS Providers to tell the government & the Jr.Dox to get back to serious talks. But if the Jrs. cannot be serious about their pay demand, there's no point in inviting them round for tea and chocky bikkies and a chat.” Ed Wardann
“Not approving of the actions of the dodgy regime in Israel is no more anti-Semitic than not thinking Creaky Joe Biden & his Democrap crew are up to much is anti-American.” Helno Way
“London's Sadgeek cosmetic mayor is trying to claim that everything inconvenient to him in online exposés was created by an A.I.? Like anyone's going to believe that.” N. Jineer

Absence of malice
In fact, the vaccine-injured should be moaning @ the Chinese for spreading their plague around the world, not our government and the companies which created the vaccines.
   There was nothing malicious on the part of the vaccine suppliers and the damage was a result of a tiny minority having a genetic structure that couldn't handle the vaccine.
   They are entitled to NHS treatment on the same basis as people who were damaged by the Chinese plague, or suffer from any other minority medical condition, or survived another type of accident.
“Someone who had the vaccine then found their body couldn't handle it obviously shouldn't be called an anti-vaxer. This is just vexatious lumping by the ignorant.” C. O'Mpleet

Wreckers’ Charter
Greenwash policies imposed on Wales by the Labour-run Ssennedd have cost the farming industry there £200 MILLION in lost income. 5,500 jobs have also gone.
   This is something that Bier Smarmer will impose on England—destroying 33,000 farming jobs—if made prime monster as he has declared that what goes on in Wales is his blueprint for the world.

More UseLEZness in the capital
The Metropolitan police farce & the Sadgeek cosmetic mayor's office are in a virtue-flagging contest over the Met's failure to do anything about a detective who was accused of being a sexual predator.
   Each is trying to pin the lack of action on vexatious interference by the other instead of doing anything productive. SNAFU.

“We can Xpect a change of message from Putinstan in due course if keeping Creaky Joe in place as a figurehead is part of a plan to sneak Mrs. O'Bummer in via the back door to replace him by stealth and outflank Trump.” Gorrie Zontal

Water firms are shoving their prices up 6% on average. It's 11.24% here in Romiley, thanks to United Utilities, which charges a lone occupant of a house almost £550 per year for water he/she doesn't use if there isn't a water meter. That's a direct quote from this year's price-rise statement.
   Criminal conspiracy, or what! No chance of ofbloodywat doing anything about this abuse, of course.
“Sounds like a good reason to keep all your cold taps running full blast day and night, and flushing the toilet every 10 minutes when you're in, to make sure you get all the water you pay for.” Bjorn Again

Something to watch out for
A supermarket chain's motives for declaring a tea shortage due to ships avoiding being shot at by Houthi pirates on the Red Sea route to Europe is under question. A price rise in the offing?
   No great problem, says the BRC, which represents retailers. Just minor delays.

Spoon-bender U. Geller claimed last November that he used his telepathic powers to prevent O.J. Corbynstein from inflicting himself on the YeyKay as our prime monster. Still no Xplanation on offer for why he didn't use his miraculous powers to prevent the Hamas from doing their October raid.

Today’s Question:
Is Bier Smarmer going to have to become a Moslem to stay @ the helm of the Labour party?
   As a first step, he said @ a Labour do in Scotland that he'd embraced the Gaza cease-fire cause & he claims he wants a state for the Palestinians in their homeland free from Israeli control.
   Although, given his record for doing U-eys . . .

Sherie does a Question Response RoundUp
“The fighting must stop now! sez Smarmer. Anyone listening? No? Meaningless noises, then.” Melgib Sahn
“When is Smarmer going to threaten to resign if there's no cease fire in Gaza? Put his money where his mouth is in the ultimo ludicrous, pointless gesture?” Mil I. Band
“A sustainable 'cease-fire'? We all know what 'sustainable' means. Cash going to gorbal warmage swindlers and Net Zero benefit to anyone else. That's deferable going to sort things out in the Middle East.” M. Agnate
“The fighting must stop now. So that the combatants can restock with weapons and enjoy a bit of a rest?” Blash Coll
“What's the Openheimer film's sequel going to be called? Closedheimer?” B. Seeje

Esso petrol 142.9p/litre in Romiley.
Esso diesel 153.9p/litre.
Diesel has gone up even more.

“How about a prequel to Openheimer called Ajarheimer?” Lou Dicrous

The punters are there to be bamboozled
Putrid the Poisoner would rather have Creaky Joe as the next US president than The Donald, he sez. No one surprised.
   This is seen as a counter—a cynical one—to the claim that Trump is Putrid's real choice for president as Trump doesn't see Putinstan as much of a threat to the US.

Sherie finds the Show Goes On . . .
“Smarmer loses bottle. Anyone seen it? No?” Dug Esmith
“No one in Palestine is listening, you git.” Nice Berg
[Not Xactly a ringing endorsement for the clueless lawyer. Ed.]

Q: What do you need to get a place in the Haus of Frauds courtesy of Plaid Cymru, the Welsh nationalist party which doesn't approve of the HoF?
A: Being female & young enuff to displace the previous youngest member listed in the Guinness Book of Records.

Today’s Conspiracy Theory:
The far-Lefties in the Lords are getting a bung from the people smugglers and that's why they're so opposed to sending invaders to Rwanda.

Place Yer Bets
Which deep, dark dungeon has Bier Smarmer's deputy, Angular Robot, been stashed in?
   Her ‘angry broad on speed' routine has been strangely absent from the Smarmerarma for quite some time.
[Not that anyone is keen on a revival, let me hasten to add. Ed.]

Cosmetic London mayor Sadgeek K'han't admits he's proud to be antisemitic! Goodness!
[Cue the usual swerve & 'not me, Guv'. Ed.]

80% of heart disease deaths are preventable, the medical Xperts reckon. Which leaves the customers wondering why they don't prevent them.
[No doubt the customers are entirely to blame. Cynical, moi? Ed.]

Q: What does a funeral firm say after sending over 3 dozen Valentine cards to an old folks home?
A: It was an attempt to make contact with the community.
Q: Sudden Death Syndrome?
A: In Putinstan; or anywhere Putrid's minions are allowed to visit; the causes include a bullet, a knife, poison (chemical or radioactive), a natural or induced medical condition, and lotz of others, including hitting the pavement after falling 6 floors.
Q: Why is a vegan diet considered bad for your health?
A: Because the human body needs proteins and plants can supply only antiteins.

Won’t wash
Is it entirely reasonable to Xcuse Creaky Joe Biden for confusing the presidents of Egypt & Mexico because the ancestors of both built pyramids?
   Not if anyone in possession of their faculties knows that the two types of pyramid look nothing like one another and were used for different purposes.

Nocturnal Drenching
Romiley Park might not be flooded but everywhere else is. The Puddle Providers must have been working overtime during the night.
   Flooded drains and vast lakes in roads everywhere. Crossing the road can involve a great deal of patience on the part of pedestrians thanks to hooligans not slowing down for the ponds.

“When the government is kicking the diversifier saboteurs out of the MoD, it might have a go @ the Bank of England, which is still trying to sell Project Fear and still obsessing about its failure to prevent Brexit and looking for ways to reverse it.” Nec Stadverts

Weird Consequence:
The Labour party is obliged to embrace antisemitism against Jews to achieve its diversity targets.
   The police & the legal trade & the Armed Services are in the same fix.

The Green party thinks free speech includes its Islamist members & Grauniadistas being allowed to libel Jews & threaten to kill them. Kind of a red shade of Green, huh? Somewhere around shit brown?
“In a decent world, decent people would be protected against attacks by this kind of animal. The sheer strength of the rights lobby for this type of animal tells us everything we need to know about the state of decency here.” Raf Bichmore

Hamlet 1, Eddie Gizzard's one-dragster version of the play nil, according to the theatre critics in New Yawk. This ludicrous Labourite is clearly not someone to pick as Bier Smarmer's acting coach.

Still in demand as the ULTIMO present
——> The Smarmer-Endorsed flip-flop! <——
Essential for all members of the far-ludicrous Left!
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Lunatics in charge of the asylum department:
The Scottish Prison Service is leading the way to unisex gaols on diversity & inclusion grounds. At present, blokes pretending to be a woman are routinely sent to female prisons. In the glorious future, Scottish criminals will be sent to wherever there's a cell, no matter what they claim about themself.

Today’s Ishue:
Which is worse, a natural drought wiping out a country's agriculture, as in Spain, or brain dead snivel servants doing it for twisted ideological reasons, as in Yourope and the YewKay?

The Wonky Road to Disaster
The John Lewis brand is frantically trying to duck out of accusations of endorsing child mutilation after falling under the spell of 2 sinister transpicater organizations.
“Losing the majority of your customers to groom a minority makes sound financial sense? In what universe?” Archie Medees

WEEK 4    Putin the ‘fun’ into funeral

 
Quality not so much strained as totally absent
You have to wonder about the intelligence of some of the people elected to Parliament. The SNP leader in Westmonster, f'rinstance, is blaming the thousands of Palestinian deaths in Gaza @ the hands of the Israelis on the 'cowardly' failure of Labour & the Tories to back a totally meaningless SNP cease-fire motion.
   S. Flynn has to be living in a dream world if he thinks a command from our Parliament to stop shooting will make Net&Yahoo and the Hamas down weapons of mass destruction immediately and become best buddies after grovelling to Flynn and his gang.

Don’t Cross The Boss!
Flynn of the SNP has gone for the iconic BNP skinhead image. What a weird choice by the bloke who's booting Smarmer into the cease-fire box.

Putin the ‘Berko’ into procedure
The Commons Squeaker (Labour) was showered with derision after he created a shambles by stepping in to spare Bier Smarmer (Labour) the humiliation of a 100 MP rebellion over a meaningless vote on Gaza. Nice to know whose side he's on.
   Grand Old Duke of Yorking with SNP & Tories marching out & back in.
“No matter how much shouting the Mob outside Parliament does & no matter how much of a shambles the Labour party creates in the Commons, the shooting & killing & bombing & city-flattening in Gaza is going to keep on going. No one there is listening.” Esty Krakatoa

Iran is claiming a record after a bloke in Kerman province wiped out 12 relatives, including his father & a brother. He went on a shooting spree with the family AK74 over a dispute with his nearest & undearest.

Junk, Junk, Junk, Junk
Israel's 'plan' to move 1.5 million Palestinians out of the Rafa area before flattening the city in the hope of killing a couple of Hama bosses is just a Chinese copy of the 'plans' Bier Smarmer claims to have for solving all the world's problems. Big on selling pitch, totally devoid of content.

If the economy is flatlining thanks to the damage done by New Labour and Gordon 'The Mugger' Broon, the Chinese plague and all the strikes encouraged by the far-Left, a good way to scare yourself is to imagine the Brownian Deep it would be in if Smarmer & Co. were in charge.

A massive 3% of punters think Bier Smarmer has eliminated anti-Jewishness from the Labour party. Comforting to know we have such a small number of total idiots in the country.

Just political blah
The term recession is tossed around casually as if it's some fixed concept, like a measurement such as a metre or a degree Centigrade. But it ain't. It's just a vague number which is calculated differently in different countries and either fiddled to make the local government look as good as possible, or fiddled by the Opposition as part of their claim that life would be rosy with them in charge.

Be very afraid
The latest scare about Putinstan is that Putrid the Poisoner has authorized the development of nuclear drones, which will be deployed in orbit & used to destroy communication satellites and other targets of opportunity when he launches his world war.
[That's the world war he's going to start after a glorious victory in Ukraine. Ed.]

Q: What's a really stooopid way to waste £6 million?
A: Rebrand bits of the strike-stopped Overground rail system with woke names, as Sadgeek K'han't has done in London. Arse!
“It was the Suffragists who got votes for women in Britain, not the head-banger, Hamas inspirationist, Xhibitionist Suffragettes. But hey, you wouldn't Xpect a Sadgeek bozo to know that.” Noah Chance
“This is despite a £15 BILLION deficit, which the geek has inflicted on the accounts of Transport for London.” Raison Deathtrap
“Right. No danger of any trains on these rebranded bits of railway that were given names designed to Xclude the sensible members of the native-British majority as irrelevant.” Dag Raschcheer

The two bye-bye elections in which natural Tory voters stayed away were on Thursday of last week. The numbers for how the votes were cast were available on Friday. So how come it wasn't until the following Monday that journalists started to report that the Labour vote had flatlined in one election and collapsed in the other, and there hadn't been a mighty Smarmer victory?

Today's Phone Scam Call came from 01509 507 002. It was a ‘your card', type unspecified, has been done for 300 quid for Amazon stuff and 1,100 quid for an international money transfer. Total bollocks, of course, and not at all well done. These scammers need a voice module.

Always on a loser
The more Bier Smarmer claims he didn't bully the Commons Squeaker into sparing him the humiliation of a massive rebellion on the pointless Gaza vote, the less convincing he becomes.
   Because we keep on reminding ourselves that pollyticks always comes first and he's a lawyer, who will swear that black is green with yellow spots if paid enough. Especially if his job is under threat.
“Funny how letting Labour MPs vote on a Labour motion has become more important than letting everyone else vote on all the motions on offer. Far-Left entitlement rulz?” Tactical Jones

Another blot on the diversity escutcheon?
How can a judge who ticked the approval box for an anti-Jewish rant on a website be allowed to try three women for supporting the Hama terrorists and let them off? is the wrong question.
   How can a bloke who wastes his free time wading through garbage on the internet be thought to be fit to be a judge? That's the question that should be asked. Especially if he doesn't know if he's ticked an approval box. Or he Xpects to get away with that as an alibi.
“How does the axiom go? Sometimes the Law is an ass and sometimes it's administered by donkeys.” Blutan Gerz
“The quality of mercy is not strained and the quality of quotas is not Xplained.” Domin Goings

Q: What do you do when you're running out of ideas for a research project?
A: Get people with an aquarium to tell you how their fish respond to the gravel at the bottom of the tank or bowl in the hope of cooking up a scare story to the effect that the gravel 'could, might, maybe' actually be harming the fish so PANIC!!!

Are we surprised that male & female brains have operational differences? Given that they Xist in different chemical environments, it would be amazing only if they processed sensory information and notions in Xactly the same way.
“No doubt someone on the equality payroll will come up with a way of proving that they do work in the same way and females are undervalued and merit massive amounts of compenbloodysation.” Carl Delivitater

Must try much harder!
The nation isn't doing enuff to bug the really nutty animal rights loonies if the best the loonies can find to moan about is the use of traditional wooden horses on merry-go-rounds encouraging Xploitation of animals.

Israel's Death Force in Gaza is having to post snipers around hospitals and send squads rampaging around inside to meet its body quotas. This is on offer as a reasonable interpretation of what's going on in that invidious enclave.

The search is on for television's most Dagnamit Duo!

Sherie floats back with more comments
“London's cosmetic Sadgeek has Dicktater Syndrome—narcissism plus a belief that everything belongs to him. Simple as that.” Oil Green
“It's not just the Hamas that are terrorists. A goodly number of their supporters; the ones we see on TV doing rampaging; are also scumbag thugs.” F. Inbigun
“Maybe the real reason why 150 Tories are said to be planning to jump ship before the next election is that they're scared of being bashed by Islamist and other thugs if they go knocking on doors and canvassing without an armed escort.” H.A. Rissonford
“The Germans must have built bloody good bombs if they're liable to go off after 80 years, and no one was allowed to use a pocket phone near the one that was successfully tackled in Plymouth!” Kerr Ching

Death Doctors’ Strike 10, Day One
First, do as much harm as you can manage for the rest of the month.
[How odd that this story was buried half way down the BierBC's alleged 'News' website. Ed.]
“Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. I make that 5 days. Which makes it all the more weird that the headline: Four-day junior doctors strike starts this weekend was on the NHS England website.” L.G.R.

No drop in quality
Should we be worried if former Labour MP G. Galloway becomes the MP for Rochdale for a few months? This is a bloke who challenged t.b. liar & Co. over the confected war in Iraq and called Labour's leaders a blood-splattered, lying, crooked bunch of criminals. Which was spot on and got him booted out of the party.
“Whether he does or doesn't get elected, he's not going to Free Palestine. That's just hot air.” Maxx Pandemic

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Use-By Date long expired
The Church of England is in real trouble if a vicar in Leicester really believes that its patron, J.H. Christ, died for transpicaters, which hadn't been invented back in the 1st century A.D.
   And as for the notion that Mr. Christ could reel off the Algae Boutique alphabetic list of sexual deviations—that's just even more woke BS of the worst sort.
   No wonder people are giving up on Mr. Wetby's business. Apart from the bogus asylum seekers, of course.

The DoomBuggers keep telling us that if the Tories don't get their act together, they'll be toast. But could that not be what a lot of the ones who Xpect to be re-elected are hoping for?
   Five years of lounging on the Opposition benches with no responsibilities and endless chances to mock a floundering Labour government as the UK sinks deeper and deeper into idleness & insolvency?
   Sounds Wonderful. And it's just what the Labour lot have been doing since being booted out in 2010.

Death Doctors’ Strike 10, Day Two
Second, claim you're being forced by the government to do even more harm.

25% of female members of the train drivers' union, ASLEEP, have reported being victims of sexual harassment & assaults up to & including rape.

Today’s Question
Is it Islamophobia if a Tory MP notices that the far-Left in London have let the scumbag tendency run riot, presumably hoping to gain political advantage from doing so?

Breath not being held
Bier Smarmer has yet to Xplain why the Labour party is obsessing about something that's going on in the Middle East & ignoring everything that's relevant to the people in the UK; who pay the wages of Smarmer & his gang, let us not forget.

Looking in a completely wrong direction
A latest reason to panic is supposed to be over A.I.s being able to create images of people who look like genuine humans for scammers to use. But that misses the point completely.
   What we really have to worry about is A.I. systems being able to do voice modification to enable all those scammers with an obvious Indian accent to ring us up, pretend to be MicroSoft [or Mike Roesoft, Ed.] and sound like someone born & brought up here, Or maybe even a Yank working overseas.

An investigation of incidents which were labelled as 'potentially harmful' has found that none of the 'incidents' involved actual harm. The conclusion is that this was just scaremongering.

Leeds Playhouse has been showered with derision after putting trigger warnings about poshness on a production of My Fair Lady in the hope of sparing lower-class no-hopers in the audience an episode of outrage.
The Teashop of Ireland is being showered with derision after telling other EFU leaders that they need to spend more on defence. The Irish Republic, major begging bowl rattler, can barely manage 0.2% of its GDP on defence spending and holds the EFU Wooden Spoon in this category.

The best theory on offer for how A. Navalny was murdered is that he was kept in the open air at a temperature well below zero for several hours to reduce his blood circulation rate to a minimum, then killed with a punch to the heart region, which is a technique perfected by the KGB.

"The world is a more dangerous place now than at any time since . . ."
   How often have we heard those doomy words? Too often to remember.
   How many more times will we hear them? Probably not all that many as ears tend to close when clichés are tossed about and eyes look elsewhere on the printed page for something more interesting and relevant.

It's not anti-Moslem for Lee Anderson, MP, to have a go @ London's UseLEZ cosmetic mayor's failures & suspect that he has sold out to anti-Britisch Islamist Xtremists.
Snackstabber accused of throwing someone else under a bus & caving in to Those People. Grow a set or depart.
“Yelling rachelism is the first resort of an anti-white scoundrel now.” Will O'Banque
“Is it possible to feel more contempt for the Sadgeek? Yes, if his response to criticism from an MP is to try to play the race card. Which opens him up to charges of anti-white rachelism if he's pretending his origins are behind the criticism, not his lack of competence and being on the side of anti-Britisch supporters of Islamist terrorism.” N. Dokrin

This week, Bier Smarmer has been mostly claiming he'll discourage benefit scrounging to turbocharge the economy.
[cue prolonged laughter]

How strange that the Republicans in the Untied States are doing their best to prevent aid from going to the Republic of Ukraine and facilitating conquest by the tyranny that is Putinstan.

Death Doctors’ Strike 10, Day Three
Third, do your little chant: Wadda we want? 35%.
When do we want it? 15 years ago.

The Jr.Dox are suffering the Penalty of Persistence. Ten strikes means that not being @ work is normal for them, they don't have anything new to say and TV news channels no longer give them any air time.

If he sells 889,725 pairs of his own-brand gold training shoes, D. Trump will be able to pay the $355M which the Democraps in Noo Yawk are trying to Xtort from him using their crooked courts.

Left, therefore ludicrous
The BierBC & a Welsh comedian are claiming that the troubles of the Indian-owned steel plant @ Porth Talbot are down to the Tories and the Chinese tactic of dumping below-cost steel on the world market for decades had nothing to do with it.

Almost Net Zero workforce in prospect
The mental 'elf industry is growing @ such a rate that everyone who can't claim to have the increasingly broadly defined ADHD will be officially classed as peculiar and they will have to do all the work that the ADHDs feel entitled not to do.

Safe & Secure
The suppliers of Yorkshire Tea wish it to be known that they can not be held to ransom by Red Sea pirates as their home-grown product doesn't go anywhere near the Suez Canal.

If the body of murdered A. Navalny was decomposing in an Arctic gaol, that confirms that his remains were being kept in the boiler room to prevent forensic determination of how the fatal blow was struck.
   Which is Xactly what you'd Xpect if the Putinstani regime is feeling vulnerable.

Q: What are blokes dressed as women doing in the Britisch Army?
A: The hope is that when Putrid sends his army here to invade us, they'll be too busy laughing at their opposition to do any fighting.

The femaleopause is now officially a disability & those who are doing it are Xcused involvement in diversity & equality & similar ishues.

“What Xactly are we supposed to do? Nuke Palestine & Iran & the other Middle East trouble spots to get some peace & quiet? Oh, no. We can't. Our nuclear submarines can't launch their missles.” Evul Grinn

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The climate criminals are threatening us with the 'skunk bird' hoopoe taking up residence in the UK if things hot up a bit more and it ventures north from southern Yourope. This decorative bird can make itself smell like sewage that's gone off to deter predators.
“Sounds like just the thing to let loose on Just Snotters & other road-blocking virtue flaggers.” Albi Baq

Merseyside is in the national first place for drugged up drivers to be stopped & busted by the local police. Druggies have turned drink-drivers into a tiny minority.

The Labour gang which helped Bier Smarmer to boil Squeaker Hoyle in oil included Corporal Underpants & the sinister Sugar Ray as well as a host of stooges doing filibustering. No wonder he cracked.
“Will Bier Smermer be charged with contempt of the House of Common Criminals by bullying the Squeaker into tearing up the rule book to spare smarmer the embarrassment of a meaningless rebellion on a meaningless vote?” Urbane Legend

Labour claims to have an absolute right to threaten the Squeaker of the HoC and what's all the fuss about?

Reset, Reset
That's an interesting take on Parliament that the Speaker offered after being mugged by Bier Smarmer in his cupboard, namely that the Speaker can ignore the rules to favour Labour with the Xcuse that it was done to stop Islamist terrorists from killing MPs.
   It follows that if the government is about to do something some group doesn't like, all they have to do is threaten MPs and the Speaker won't let the Commons vote on the ishue as happened to do the SNP out of their virtue-flagging over the mass slaughter in Gaza.
“Does this work the other way? If the government isn't going to do something, e.g. reduce income tax, lodge a threat and get the Squeaker to scrabble for a motion in favour of the ishue?” Ayu Kiddinme
“What was it that Smarmer threatened the Speaker with to cause Walk-Out Wednesday? Setting the Post Office's goon squad on him to railroad him into gaol for fiddling his expenses?” Imaginary Sanders

How important is the League Cup, just won again by Liverpool, who beat Chelski in Xtra time? Not at all if it wasn't on either BBC 1 or ITV 1 on a Sunday.

Death Doctors’ Strike 10, Day Four
Fourthly, claim your pay rate is only a fiver an hour for working 174.4 hours per week.

Practical consideration
How does the government of the US plan to keep Wikileaker J. Assange (52) in gaol for 175 years for endangering the lives of Americans by publishing leaked classified documents?
   Keep his embalmed body in a fridge? An expensive cryogenic parking job? Or just seal his remains up in a lead box & bury the box when the 175 years are up at the dawn of the 23rd century?
   We should be told.

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Women need only half as much Xercise as men 'coz they are smaller & daintier; apart from the ones who ain't; and more entitled.

Worth a try
Cumbria is trying to use the Nessie Formula to attract more tourists with tales of BIG cats running around, eating all the sheep.
   Shame all the evidence on offer is a skeleton of a sheep which looks like it died and was eroded away entirely naturally.
   Certainly no BIG cat chomp marks on it.

Free Pass
The Just Snotters are being allowed to threaten to surround the homes of MPs to intimidate them & their family without being stomped on by useless police farces. Just like the gangs of Islamist terrorist supporters.
   The New Labour legacy of letting the bad guys run riot lives on, riding the tide of self-righteous irrelevance flooding out of Parliament.

Islamists demand Tories submit to investigation by Islamist lynch mob
Vexatious Islamists are accusing the Tories of having an endemic phobia against their causes and also of failing to agree that they have the right to run riot whenever & wherever they choose.
“Maybe we need to move Parliament well away from London's terrorist community.” Harry Sonfod
[Such as half a mile west of Land's End? Ed.]

K'han't accused of terrorphilia
Sadgeek accused of pouring petrol on the truth to light a bonfire of shame & anti-Britisch rachelism.
“The Sadgeek has let London become Terrorist Central. All he's interested in is taking money off the customers, not their safety.” Fawkes Landrover
“If things are so great in London, why are terrorism supporters allowed to get away with blatant threats & intimidation & rachelism & the attempted destruction of Britisch values?” Ayu Kiddinme
[Let us not forget that Sadgeek K'han't is London's Police & Crime Commish as well as the cosmetic mayor. Ed.]
“Labour is traditionally the party of the criminal. That looks never likely to change.” Bjorn Boutique
“The Sadgeek is squirming so furiously that he has to be up to his eyebrows in something really dodgy. Is this too harsh a judgement? Well, he is a politician, a trade not known for respecting truth, decency & the Britisch Way. In their case, guilty until proven otherwise is the only safe way.” Avinga G. Raffe

Victims in last place, as ever
The courts claiming priority over Parliament for clearing the wrongly convicted victims of the Post Office/Fujitsu Horizon scam is something that needs to be stomped on brutally.
   Especially if Parliament can do the job more or less at a stroke when it can be arsed and the courts will drag things on and on for years as the legal trade's pay packets are involved.

Smarmer's army is getting donations from a woke billionaire to further the cause of starving Britain by rewilding farmland, which is something that only a ludicrous left government would do.

Today’s Doggerel Quip
From the Sadgeek to the K'han't
Knuckle down? No, we shan't.

Death Doctors’ Strike 10, Day Five
Fifthly, remind the ungrateful customers, who paid for your training, that you're going to keep on striking indefinitely.

Today’s Scam Call came from 079499 662 275. Machine voice claiming an Amazon charge of £900 made to 'your card' but no company specified. Obviously a scam if the call was made using a pocket phone.

Can Lee Anderson, MP, be said to be planning to defect to the Reform UK party if the Tories have dumped him and he's currently unattached?

Shifting sands
After all the trouble the far-Left DoomBuggers have gone to to put the UK into a recession, the honcho of the Bonk of England has dismissed their catastrophe as small & insignificant, and probably already over.
   Worst, when there are actual numbers available, it's likely that the end of '23 recession will be proved never to have happened.

Everyone who accuses someone else of the nonsense concept of islamophobia is up to something dodgy, e.g. everyone with a personal interest in claiming the Tory party does structural islamophobia, which is classified as a junk concept.

Very Broon finance
Deep-rooted financial mismanagement by the Labour council in Birmingham has left the mugs who voted it into office facing a 21% rise in council tax over the next 2 years & a debt mountain a couple of billion quid high.
   More clues to Labour's blueprint for government?
Job-shedding & dimming street lights are also on the agenda, but the cosmetic mayor for the area won't be one of those getting the sack.

are universities doing running Black History courses? This is taking white Xclusion & rachelism to the Xtreme. As well as pandering to the scumbag decolonizers.

Esso petrol 145.9p/litre in Romiley.
Esso diesel 154.9p/litre.
Still going up.

Spending a loada dosh on getting a dead pet cloned gives you something that looks like the original but it lacks its lifetime of Xperience. Making just getting an unrelated pet of the same brand that looks similar just as good an option, which doesn't involve waiting for the substitute to be grown.

Attention Poster Prats:
Borders don't kill, criminals trying to evade them do.
But not being able to get the bleedin' obvious is why you're prats.

Today’s Clerihugh
Grant Schapps gets lotz of slaps.
Risen without a trace
Now in a leadership race
Ignoring his MoD job
In a quest to rule the mob.
“Journalists are making a lot of Shapps spending a day and a half a week as Defence Minister, which ignores the maxim that the less politicians do, the safer the rest of us are.” Dred McFred

For sure, not on our side
No wonder the Trident nuclear missles on our subs won't work if the MoD is staffed by idiots who claim that not all women are biologically female, which is utter garbage.
   Anyone who isn't female ain't a woman, no matter how much reconstruction has been done. That's just the way the world works. If you can't handle that, you need to head for an alternate reality that suits you more.
The alibi for the missle launch flops is that they were carrying test equipment, which got in the way of proper operation, and this kit would not be on a missle fired for real.
“And this is something the bozos doing the launch knew about and let happen anyway? Sheesh!” Subar Kerr
[To which one can add only Arse! Ed.]

"Westminster claims to be the mother of all Parliaments but it behaves like a sixth-form debating society", it has been claimed. Wrong.
   It behaves like an ancient mother with senile dementia most of the time.

WEEK 5    Putin the ‘asp’ into aspidistra

 
Today’s Question:
How many punters forgot it's a leap year and it's still February today?

Why are Islamist agitaters & terrorists getting away with it?
   'Coz the useless SoBs who are supposed to be the guardians of our safety keep trying to find imaginary far-Righters and keep ignoring the for-real threats right under their noses. Arse!
“If football clubs have to pay for policing the crowds @ their matches, the same should apply to the Pals of Palestine when they do their traffic-blocking marches in London & elsewhere. And the Just Snotters. Stick them with a bill for the policing millions and see how they like it!” Sinh Gasong
“The Sad Geek is reacting like a typical political scoundrel— moaning about something trivial instead of the real ishue. If he's not in the pockets of the Islamist street-blockers and MP-threateners, then he's standing idly by and letting them run riot. Which adds up to the same thing.” B. Lashkol

Facts, not political fantasy
Why is Birmingham broke & in a hole? Because the Labour council paid bonuses to manual workers; mainly blokes; but not to non-manual workers; mainly female; and that dug a billion-pound compenbloodysation Brown Hole in the accounts. With the usual help from the legal trade and monstrous cash donations to it, of course.

Even more same old, same old
Bier Smarmer's invisible deputy, Angular Robot, is getting twitted for making a 50-grand profit from selling her ex-council house & now wanting to stop others doing the same. This is just more of what Labourites always do—take advantage of the system then saw the rungs off the ladder to stop anyone else getting the benefit.

That was a curious argument deployed by the Snackstabber during PM's Questions yesterday. He railroaded the obviously guiltless Lee Anderson immediately but Bier Smarmer dillyed & dallyed over dumping the obviously guilty candidate in the Rochdale by-election, and that makes the Snackstabber more virtuous?
   In what universe?

In case you missed it:
A Hungarian professor has concluded that burning scented candles in the home produces aerial pollution particles which can cause migraines and irritation of the eyes & throat, and increases the risk of contracting a respiratory disease. How cheerful!

“There should be a stonking tax on phone scammers, which should be paid to people with a landline phone for providing the ratbags with their means for making a dishonest living and putting up with their silly lies.” Grail Mothra

Operators of super-heavy EVs and SUVs weighing more than 3.5 tons will be obliged to have an HGV licence to operate the vehicle in the near future.

Q: What's wrong with the rising generation of 'uman beanz, which has sick-noted them into immobility?
A: Over-medicalization & no incentive to achieve. Simple as that.

New Rule?
L. Anderson, sometime Tory bigwig, was Snackstabbed for refusing to apologize for making valid political remarks about Sadgeek K'han't. That's not for the content of the remarks, but just for daring to point a well-directed finger at the Sadgeek. An outcome which makes Net Zero sense.

At least someone is looking
Former PM Trussty Lizzie has spotted that the snivel service is jam packed with activists for every irrelevant ishue under the Sun.
   They are all elbowing one another for prominence & being allowed to waste billions of taxpayers' pounds instead of doing the jobs they're overpaid to do.

Something else that’s doomed?
Rugby is becoming a popular sport for women in parts of Scotland – despite the concussion issue. Which raises the question of how long it will be before blokes pretending to be women crash in, like they do, and ruin everything for everyone.

Actually doing quality control on new Boeing airliners is Xpected to delay deliveries, create shortage of seats for tourist bums & put airline prices up by 10%.
Islamistophobia has been defined as a fear of being murdered by a supporter of a foreign terrorist group, which claims to follow the teachings of Islam. But doesn't.
Gulp! Driven by the wokeness of the likes of ArchyBish Wetby, the CoE is predicted to have a life of no more than 20 years more. Gone by 2045.
Creaky Joe Biden's dog has bitten a Secret Service agent on at least 24 occasions but the mutt has not been destroyed as dangerous. One Rule for Them . . .

Below the line mission statement: Some of the above is true. BFN is recognized as a premiere class observational blog and a multiple winner of the OB of the Year award.
   We are constantly exposed to dodgy conclusions drawn from dodgy data by the 'experts', especially those found in the world of politics and especially those at the Treasury and in opposition and running trade unions.
   Some of us civilians at BFN like to join in to let them know that anyone can do it and we ain't impressed by their efforts.

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