WEEK 1    Putin the ‘con’ into consequences

 
Today is International Woke Is A Joke Day

More Yellow bloody weather was forecast for New Year's Eve Sunday. So how come it was cold but sunny to start the day in Romiley? And gloomy but not raining as the afternoon proceeded?
   Don't you just wish the buggers would run out of their Yellow rain?

The far-Left are looking gloomily at the New Year as City fortune tellers start predicting a rosier future for the UK in 2024. Not what the DoomBuggers want to hear at all!

"Can you trust the BierBC?" is a heading on their website, down at the bottom. And the answer is YES!
   But only for the BierBC's far-Left goons to trash every achievement in your nation's past.

Ubiquitous newsagent W.H. Smith has redone its signs to raise awareness of the range of stuff it sells. But all it has managed to do is collect an avalanche of derision for whoever came up with the new sans-serif WHS sign and whoever in the company thought the transformation was worth paying good money for.

Get your authentic Mayan snack!
Chicken Itza - it’s stotally delish!
++ BOGOF until far-Lefties ban it ++
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Another despicable priority
The trade union for nurses thinks that a strike in the New Year would be a good way of getting back some of the public attention grabbed by the eternally striking Jr.Dox.
   How absobloodylutely Wunderbar.

Q: Is an 800% rise in the number of espresso scoffers going to an A&E department with caffeine poisoning alarming?
A: Not if the number of cases has gone up from 18 last year to just 142 this year. It's as trivial as the UK's carbon footprint.

Q: How many senior coppers have been sacked for making their minions waste police time on recording non-hate non-crimes?
A: One guess.

Bier Smarmer is trying to wag his working class roots at the electorate but he doesn't have an Xplanation on offer for why he no longer does useful, productive work.
[Assuming he ever did any. Ed.]
His big problem is that he's not a leader. He's just someone who ended up there by accident when O.J. Corbynstein, his best buddy, became a real pain. He remains a lawyer who will do and/or say anything that gives him a payday.
“Quite right. With no prospect of a personality transplant being on offer anytime soon to turn him into a performer for political debates, he's just wood, wood, wood.” Y. Telefant

The Sunday Mirror wants to know why the Royals Xist.
Answer: to annoy bunches of far-Left clods.

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New Year Messages

To Vlad the Putin, Lets put the boot in So that this thug Is squashed like a bug.

To miserable Kier Let's give a cheer When his bier runs out Leaving him in a pout!

Does there have to be a world record for putting on 10 pairs of underpants? A weird Aussie spent 6 months training himself to do it in 13.03 second.
Sounds as wonderful as claiming the Guinness world record for popping 200 balloons with a nail, which was 11.83 seconds at the last count.
Or making a pizza topped with 1001 different varieties of cheese. Was it as big as a dustbin lid? No, the picture shows something with a diameter less than the width of the chef; say, about 13 inches.

The old, old story
Scotland's new flood defences will cost three times the original guess and the projects which have been started are already running late.
   It's the ferry shambles all over again.
“The SNP + Green government might be useless but local councils can be just as bad. Some of them spend their flood defence cash on doing surveys rather than actual construction work. Their attitude is 'survey done, job done'. Madness.” Stichin Thyme

Is it possible to extend the term 'money for old rope' to a research project; but not a very big one; aimed at finding out if the phenomenon of 'beer goggles' is real? Apparently, the gang at Portsmouth University have decided that being boozed up doesn't make potential shags look more attractive.

Far-Left activists in the UK have lodged an objection with UN Equalities Commission over New Zealand & Australia getting to celebrate the arrival of a New Year around 12 hours before Europe. "A basic and grievous unfairness", their spokes called it.

The Green Bay Packers @ the Vikings on New Year’s Eve
A trip to the red zone, almost a TD pass from a scrambling Love, just a FG. A pass bouncing off a MV receiver gave GB a pick, on to a TD, 10-0. GB got close in Q2 but blew up on a 4th & 1.
   A long FG after 6 minutes gave the Vikings some points, 10-3. Red zone again, to the 2. Love did a scramble and a reach for the goal line, TD given, 17-3. A sack in the last minute gave the ball to GB, to the 25, a brilliant effort by Reed, reach-out TD, 23-3.
   The Vikings blew up on 4th & 4 just inside the GB 10 in Q3. GB to the MV 8, TD pass to Melton, wide open, 30-3. In Q4, GB blew fielding a punt, short field for the Vikings, TD, 30-10. Lots more Dillon. FG after 9 minutes, 33-10. The Vikings got close but a 4th down pass was picked in the GB end zone. The End.

Damage to motor vehicles due to rats doing stuff such as chewing fuel hoses & wiring, and breaking headlights, is at a record level.

They’re going to have to redefine useless!
CalMac, the Scottish ferry operator, managed to double cancellations due to technical faults in 2023 compared to 2022. The SNP government is getting the blame for failing to renew the ancient fleet and letting the nationalized Ferguson Marine shipyard get 6 years overdue with two new ferries with no completion date yet in sight.

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First resort of the blunderer
The Israeli government has come up with a new 'wrong sort of' Xcuse. The reason why it wiped out lots of Palestinians in an attack on a refugee camp in Gaza is that its bonehead air force dropped the wrong sort of bombs. And that's why there's so much collateral damage, i.e. dead displaced Palestinian bodies.
“Xpect more of the same whilst their leader, Net&Yahoo, is getting away with keeping the attack on Gaza going for months & months to keep himself out of court on corruption charges.” R. Fanahr

Jr.Dox are having a week off

Customers are advised not to fall over or get sick as there will be no one to pick them up or treat them until next Tuesday. Thank you.

The Climate Criminals are trying to pretend that new electric vehicles will be cheaper than fossil-fuelled ones by resorting to lotz of dodgy ifs & buts & guesses about material costs in future decades.
   Total waste of time but it keeps them off the streets.

Shhhh!
Venice keeps chucking all sorts of obstacles in the path of tourists but still the buggers keep on coming. Charging them five euros/day isn't stopping them, so the city council has gone pragmatic.
   Gangs of tourists are limited to 25 members. And there can be NO loudspeakers so that everyone can have a little bit of peace & quiet. The UN, which can be bought quite easily, is calling the city parents a bunch of spoilsports. Presumably, on behalf of those making money out of tourism.

Taxi operators are making a bomb out of ScotRail following record levels of train cancellations.
And another thing—turning the entire length of the notorious & vital A9 road into dual carriageway will be 10 years late and the odd couple of billion quid over budget.

UFOlogists are claiming the sighting of an alien visitor over the Midlands & southern England in the early hours of the last Saturday of December. The Xperts are claiming it was just a meteor. Take your pick.

Igor Putin is getting 300 Russians killed per day in his assault on Ukraine.

Q: What's the story on this 'vegetarian champagne'?
A: Just another scam. Same with the vegan stuff.

Not-So-Great Political Myths of 2023
You can 'win' a Dutch general election by taking just 37 of 150 seats in a parliament. This is now known as the Geert Wilders Fantasy, which is not knocking the man himself, just the lazy commentators who fling the fantasy about gaily.

'People could have been crushed', we were told about trees toppled by the Stalybridge tornado. But what would they have been doing, prancing about outside @ 11:30 p.m. during a violent thunderstorm?

Even its supporters are admitting that the far-Left is lost in its own brand of absurd sloganizing & hatred of everything that is white & Britisch. Things can only get worser for the Xtremists.

Q: Is it a Good Thing that an artist is trying to hoover up 1,984 copies of George Orwell's novel to put on display on the island of Jura to mark the 75th anniversary of the book's publication?
A: Nope. Books are there to be read, not piled up in heaps.

If the police are giving up on 23 MILLION reported crimes per year without even identifying a suspect, then a brief enabling Act should be driven through Parliament to DOUBLE all sentences for all crimes to inflict some pain on the criminal community. Plus a tough cap on the fees paid to smarmer lawyers who help them to get away with it.

Want to look slimmer without the hassle of New Year dieting?
A Leaning Mirror will do the job.
   Angle it against a handy wall to look slimmer & more elegant
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Today’s Question:
Which sin do pigs commit to qualify for a Pig Sin Blanket?

Jr.Dox are still having their week off If they ever decide to go back to work, Xpect lotz to take time off for a cold they caught due to being rained on when picketing.

It took every copper in Liverpool to arrest one bloke who was messing about with a shotgun in a cinema last night. At least, that's what the TV pictures of the scene outside the cinema suggested.

Ya, boo! to Creaky Joe
The UK, Xperts have assured us, has an annual tornado rate of 2.3 per 10,000 square kilometres. The rate is just a lousy 1.3 in the Untied States.
   Tornado Xperts here are in need of funding to study the weather conditions which create tornadoes, they reckon, because weather satellites can't detect tornadoes and the true rate may be under-reported.

Ground Pounder
Israel's PM, B. Net&Yahoo, is confident that he can keep the war in Gaza going for the whole of 2024. And himself out of court on corruption charges, of course. Especially if the Hamas are allowed continued access to rocket building materials and he can continue to zap bits of Lebanon.

Tackling the transpicaters
Sporting organizations which receive taxpayers' cash and which impose gender ideology on members are being unfair to women and should be defunded until they see sense, the Xperts reckon.
   A cash crisis is seen as the only way to get through to Those People.

The BierBC threw a wobbly when a study of its output found a dangerous woke bias. The complaint was that the right cherries had not been picked, even though the BierBC has spent millions of licence-payers' money on signposting them.
   Egon mush time for the BierBCers when those doing the study pointed out that there is nothing Right about being that far-Left.

The current Squeaker of the House of Commoners is spending five times more than Bollocks to Berko on jaunts abroad. Labour, natch.

Sherie with another RoundUp
“Isn't it brilliant how we're finding out the fine detail of the total bog new bloody labour made of things 20 years after the event? Nice to know how Xactly right we were in our judgements about this gang of bunglers, who put us into an illegal war in Iraq and let all the banks go bust as just some of their crimes against the nation.” D. Ablo
“The Untied Nations Organization has sent a planeload of refugees to Rwanda from Libya. Does that count as a cruel & unusual punishment if Rwanda is as dangerous as the UN has whinged when opposing the UK's attempts to do just the same?” Bar Datichewed

Today’s Wisdom:
"If you've gorran ishue, here's a tissue."
—from the third Austin Powers film

Excess deaths are @ record levels due to strikes by Jr.Docs and the statistics include lotz of young people with what should have been treatable conditions as well as the usual oldies.
   Well, whoda thought that would happen?

Those who keep an eye on these things now reckon that a new law is needed to allow ChatBots to be busted if they radicalize gullible humans and turn them into terrorists. And virtual RapeBots.

Jr.Dox are on a Skive for 35 (per cent) They know they have no chance of getting it, we know they have no chance of getting it but does that bovver the skivers? Nope.

++ Egypt's iconic pyramids & major tourist attraction bombed to bitz ++ Israeli air force mistakes Giza for Gaza ++ World in meltdown ++ Alibi factories in Untied States on overtime ++ Israel claiming payback rights for mythical crimes from the dawn of history ++

The US states of Colorado & Maine are now twinned with North Korea. More to join them in the new year when the anti-Trump swindlers get bolder?
“What's the difference between the judges there & those in Putinstan? Apart from none at all. If anyone is banned, it should be the judges who ignore what the law says to further their 'get Trump' campaigns and make everything about their personal prejudices. Same for the ones who do the same here.” Y. Pout

All the coppers in Liverpool, and the firearms squad, didn't manage to nail the shotgun bandit at the cinema, where he'd gone after robbing several shops. It wasn't until about 5 a.m. the next day that they caught up with him.

Old News Uncensored
The Czech version of the KGB tried to recruit former Labour leader M. Foot but decided not to bother as he was unlikely to know anything useful. The Putinstani KGB is claiming that they did recruit Mr. Foot.
   This is being seen as a product of an inclusivity agenda imposed by the Putin regime and an attempt to make the KGB look invincible & capable of recruiting any foreign politician going.
   Unsurprisingly, it's an attempt that isn't working.

Q: 12 points on a driving licence is supposed to lead to a ban on driving. Is that a deterrent?
A: Not to the banned & uninsured bloke who is still driving around with 96 points on his licence.

Q: If a fairground-style ride in Hyde Park gets stuck for 8 minutes due to a power cut, how long will online 'witnesses' claim it was stopped and the mugs aboard it were stranded?
A: 35 minutes.

The SnackStabber PM isn't stomping all over obstructive judges here & abroad to get criminals & terrorists exported 'coz he thinks it would have an adverse effect on his career after he gets booted into touch from politics. That's the story we're getting, anyway.

Get out of this!
Sadgeek K'han't is getting a good booting for hijacking the new year fireworks display and doing bugger all to stop knife crime.
   He blames all his messes, including the knife crime one, on mobile phones!

Police Jargon Translated
Original: The investigation is complex & protracted.
Translation: The case notes are in a file box and everyone is ignoring them.

England, population 57 millions, has 63 million customers registered with GP practices, which are creaming off . . . £990 MILLION/year for the ghost patients.

The starting salary for a Jr.Doc is £41K Anyone who believes they get £14/hour is being taken for a sucker. That's propaganda from their union. Trainees get plenty of cash paid to them by the taxpayer rather than having to pay for the training. But who expects anything like honesty from a trade union!

Too inattentive, too soft
Sounds like the Dept. of Work & Pensions needs some A.I.s to monitor claims for benefits constantly & rigorously if A.B. Mohamed of Hulme, Manchester, managed to file 200 fraudulent claims for child support before the DWP got on his case.
   He has been ordered to repay over £2 million but what's the betting he no longer has the cash and he'll end up doing 6 weeks in gaol as an alternative?

Sold down the river or up it; they’ll do both
Labour candidates for the next general election have to be card-carrying Remoaners to make it easier for whoever is the leader to shunt the UK back into the EFU on eye-wateringly disgraceful terms for us.

Clouds for cuckoos or “Different but worse, Jim.”
There's something about politics that switches off the logic circuits in the brains of those involved in it. Our local Trivials, for instance, Xpect us to believe that if the Tories are not beezing the knees & trooping the colour, that means we need one of their lot as our MP.
   That's someone from a party which won't be forming the next government, which is even more lacking than Labour when it comes to ideas for doing anything worthwhile and which is as loaded as Labour with Bremoaners who want us back in the EFU.
   How is that going to be any improvement? Answers on as PC to the St. Unnell Granny Farm, Riverside Drive, Romiley.

Political pile-up
The Home Office sez, "We keep all policies under review to ensure that they best serve the UK and reflect the public's priorities."
Translation: "We glance at them occasionally, decide darral do, and have another cup of tea and a chocky bikky."
The latest conspiracy theory is that our SnackStabber PM is having secret meetings with Desperate Dom Cummings & Goings to be up to speed on signs that someone might be plotting to stab Sue Knack in the back after studying how it was done to President Boris.

What's all this garbage about the police investigating 'crimes' committed in virtual reality? Not on if they can't cope with crime in the real reality—4 million cases dropped last year, was it?
   No, this is clearly a job for A.I.s. They live in a virtual reality, they should be the police force there.
“The V.R. Suckerverse is no place for children to be unsupervised anyway. Maybe threatening parents of kids who get upset there with a charge of felony child endangerment would do some good.” 19 Felgar
“Calling what is supposed to have happened virtual rape is just sky-hyperbole by senior coppers, who want it to sound so much more dramatic than what it is—plain, ordinary harassment under existing laws. Not anything that would merit police attention in the usual course of events.” D. Praver
“Wot about the 'OFF' button? Or just taking the VR helmet off to disconnect?” N. Sure

BMA honcho claims NHS hates docs Sounds like this attention-seeker Jr.Doc hates the NHS and the customers for demanding some work out of him when all he wants to do is try to be the heir to Scaregill as the boss of the BMA

New Year, New Look ——>
Bier Smarmer unveils his plan for Britain—appropriately named Project Toast—whilst showing off his new look for 2024.
“One he borrowed from the Brighton reject, Freddie Gizzard?” X. Sellent

The Big Problem with Smarmer's Chancellor wannabe is she has about the same amount of fiscal sense as Gordon F. Broon, the man who dug a trillion-pound Brown Hole in the Britisch economy & let the banks go bust; with some help from him in the case of Lloyds.

Vastly Oversold
The euro currency, launched 25 years ago, was touted as something which would triple** trade in the EFU by the leaders of the member countries at the time. The actual rise in cross-border trade? 6%. And this is the bloc and the currency that Smarmer thinks offers most for him if he can get us signed up to them, no matter how miserable (for us) the terms.
[** This word appeared as 'tripe' in an early draft. Accuracy by accident! Ed.]

The UN, Putin the ‘MAN’ into eMANcipation!
Well, they are living up to the concept by making a bloke posing as a woman the gang's representative for woman & girls in the UK. And you just know that this pusson of color has to be grotesquely anti-white.
   Politics always trumps good sense when the UFN Organization is involved.
[Putin the ‘con’ into concept. Ed.]

Death by thousands of thefts
Punitive business rates & parking prevention resulted in town centres in Britain losing 10,000 shops in 2023. Optimists are viewing this as somewhat less bad than 2022, when the above tactics removed 17,000 town & city centre shops.
   But last year's figure was lower only because the shops that were struggling to survive didn't in 2022. Many of the ones lost in 2023 were going concerns which became victims of a pernicious attitude on the part of local authorities.

Frustration Festers!
Despite determined efforts by sections of the news meeja, Baroness Mone has not been stuck in gaol for not giving them a full account of her doings & didn'ts. Neither have any of the snivel servants who bogged up paying for PPE and wasted BILLIONs of taxpayers' dosh, but the meeja are not bovvered about them. Certainly not the far-Left elements.

Incerndiary Row!
A cheese company in Oxford, which was accused of cultural appropriation when it put a de-knobbed picture of Dorset's Cern Abbas Giant on its packaging, has now decided to re-knob the picture on its full-strength Cheddar.
   Which is made neither in Oxford nor in Dorset.
[Figures. Ed.]

Is there mindemptiness, an opposite of mindfulness?
The Epsteen Industry is in overdrive following the release of legal documents full of more unsubstantiated flim & flam than you can shake a stick at.
   Kiddie fiddler J. Epsteen was terminated in gaol to spare the American taxpayer the cost of his upkeep and further embarrassment to their Those People from further revelations. [How did that work out? Ed] But his legacy lives on.
   Meanwhile, razzing up the likes of Slick Willy Clinton continues to be the sport of the moment.

Public Service Announcement He's been called the Blogger of the Decade His intellect is matched only by the size of his luck and the size of his bank balance. And yet he manages to keep his Feet On The Ground with the greatest of ease. Do yourself a favour and find out what Xavier has had to say about what's going on Right Now!

WEEK 2    Putin the ‘hospital’ into hospitality

 

A consolation for real Oldies is that they won't live long enuff for the young Jr.Dox to become grabbing & striking consultants.

The World Health Organization of the UFN has been taken over by transpicaters, who are insisting that normal people should be sent to the back of every queue and entitled only to the most worthless leftovers.
The Oxford cheese story has managed to revive the bewiskered speculation that the Cern Abbas Giant is a representation of the ancient hero Hercules. But the connection between Greece & Dorset remains obscure.
The BMA has been voted the most evil communist gang on The Planet.
Britain's police farces have effectively decriminalized bike theft, even though bikes worth thousands of pounds are nicked, by failing to do anything about it.
Non-story about Prince Andrew in circulation. Lots of BS from alleged news meeja. No real people giving the proverbial rat's arse about it.

Their planet, their rulz,
   even if we mugs have to pay for it
BierBC presenters are allowed to say the word 'shit', or a suitable alternative swear word, up to 7 times in an interview without violating the Beeb Code of Conduct.
[Probably 700 times if it's gbl. Ed.]

Q: What do you get if you trust a Gooble Maps satnav to get around near Kruger National Park in Sarf Efrica?
A: Stuck in your 4x4 in a crocodile-infested river for 15 hours before a rescue helicopter Xtracts you.

Ha! All the clowns who light scented candles during winter months are going to die of respiratory diseases, the Xperts reckon. Natural selection in action?

The way to save the NHS, the Xperts reckon, is to allow pharmacists to decide if people really need the zillions of repeat prescriptions, which are handed out robotically each year.
   One major problem: this would happen only if the NHS paid pharmacy operators what their service is worth to their community.
[So, unlikely? Ed.]

Trivial by name, Gravy by nature
What's the biggest scandal of the Post Office Horizon persecution of sub-postmasters for losses confected by defective software? The bloke who's the current figurehead for the Trivials did nothing to prevent persecution, imprisonment & deaths when he was part of Dave the Leader's coalition.

The BIG problem for far-Left journalists is they want to ring the pizza bell but Bier Smarmer lacks both a menu and clues about what to put on one. And if he ever comes up with something, there's always the U-turn a week later.

Thanks to the ongoing wonk & transpicater conspiracy, no one is joining the Royal Navy & all its ships will end up being sold off to foreign dicktaters with deep pockets.

The president of Harvard U. in the Untied States, who ticks the female & of colour boxes, has been binned for not knowing that turning a blind eye to anti-Semitic customers violates the university's Code of Conduct. As has the president of Pennsylvania U. (female) for the same iggorance.

The far-Left loonies are blaming all the rain we've had in the last decade on the current prime monster.
   Sue Knack is causing it! How, has not yet been revealed.

Anyone out there who is still alive Is advised to keep quiet about it in case the Jr.Docs send their Xterminators to fix your wagon!

Blood on hands? Yeah, but if they belong to entitled people . . .
The NHS is busy logging deaths due to the BMA bosses refusing to let doctors cross picket lines to keep customers alive.
Will the Jr.Dox union bosses, who have bumped their fantasy pay rate up to £15/hour, be taken to court for causing deaths by striking?
Will Post Office bosses end up in gaol at last over the Horizon persecution of sub-postmasters?
Will senior police officers be investigated for neglect of duty for failing to go after the Horizon crew? That's the managers @ the Post Office and the firm which built the defective system.
Will CPS bosses be investigated for neglect of duty for helping to stick innocent people in gaol for crimes they didn't commit?

The Green Bay Packers host the Chicago Bears
The Bears were sacked to a FG. No Dillon for the Pack but they had Jones. The Packers were sacked to a FG try that missed. 3rd & 1 @ the CB 10, TD pass to Wicks in the end zone, 3-7. Another sack, another FG by the Bears, 6-7. Close but GB failed to set up a FG in the last few seconds of the half.
   Another TD for Wicks to open Q3, 6-14. The Bears kicked a FG 2 minutes in to Q4, 9-14. Red zone, TD pass to Melton? Just a FG, 9-17. GB ate clock to beat da Bears for the 10th consecutive time.

The Robot’s revenge
Sheer laziness has turned acronyms into word-likes. NATO to Nato is one of the most obvious. Now, newspaper A.I.s are striking back. A Doctor of Philosophy degree is now a PHD rather than a Ph.D. More to follow?
[Professor of the History of Denmark, PHD? Ed.]

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Bier Smarmer's fans [both of them? Ed.] are moaning that he's not getting any credit for gagging Angular Robot, his gobby deputy. Sounds like he's not 100% into political self-harm.

50% of the world's population will be involved in national elections during this year. The fraudsters & foreign saboteurs will have to be on triple time to encourage them to keep up with demand.
   Democracy looks doomed to become an even smaller minority system.

Conviction or confection?
Will that video of Humbug Useless (of colour) doing a rachelist anti-white rant about white people holding top jobs in a country which is 90% white put him in gaol?
   Or will he get away with it either way?
   Informed opinion is that of course he will. Experience tells us that people like him have a licence to promote rachel & other hatreds without consequences.

The first American Moon mission in 51 years is on its way. NASA is using a Peregrine robotic lander from the private company Astrobotic as the Space Administration outfit is no longer seen as competent to build new spacecraft affordably.
   The mission was launched by a brand new rocket system called Vulcan. The lander will take the long way to its destination, looping round the Earth then circling the Moon several times before attempting a soft landing on the 23rd of next month.
   Its ultimate destination is Sinus Viscositatis, the weirdly named "Bay of Stickiness".
[The suggestion of doing a joke about coming unstuck was grotted upon. Ed.]

Depths of Delusion
Bier Smarmer reckons the Labour party has changed from one doing pointless whinges to one of service. But before anyone starts cheering, there's nowt in it for the customers as it's self-service—strictly for the benefit of the mob on the payroll, like himself.
“Should we applaud Smarmer for the 'life & death' decisions he made when Director of Public Prostitutions? Such as trying to frame entertainers & Tory politicians for bogus child abuse & murder? And keeping J. Savile out of gaol, of course? And letting all those sub-postmasters rot in Hell? Maybe not.” Des Pight

George Orwell’s doublethink lives on
You have to wonder about the sanity of the Reform party's figurehead when he claims that a Labour election win would lead to Smarmergeddon but he's going to do his best to make Tories lose their seats and cause a Labour victory.
   The Trivials, meanwhile, are counting on getting a coalition deal with Labour it they can oust Tory MPs. Pity we do actually still remember what a disaster they were in the coalition with Dave the Leader.

Who needs new pop stars when you can go to see an A.I. controlled holographic image of dead Elvis doing his greatest hits? A-ha! U-hu!
Being the first 'Native American' [Earlier American, Ed.] to win one of the many acting awards has to have the flavour of a poisoned chalice. Dwelling on the lady's origins rather than her acting abilities conveys an impression that there's an ethnicity quota, and she got the benefit of it.

From now on, under a Labour government, all menopausal women will be obliged to have a job by Law!

Mirror, mirror, on the wall,
Who’s the vainest one of all?
It's difficult to see why anyone (Xcept a far-Left pretender) would be impressed by Bier Smarmer having a go @ the vanity of his creator, O.J. Corbynstein. Not when every time Corbynstein's Monster opens its gob, it's to tell the world how fantastically brilliant it is!

Something else up the sleeve?
The Britisch Massacre Association will, no doubt, be demanding Xtra refresher leave so that it's strike-happy members can re-learn all the stuff that slipped from their minds when standing on a picket line for a couple of hours and then lurking in a pub for the rest of the day.

Davy & Smarmer—the Horizon team
The minister & the DPP who sat on their hands whilst the Post Office railroaded sub-postmasters into gaol & bankruptcy & an early grave in some cases. Just the guys to run the UK plc? Only completely & totally into the ground.

We're getting a distinct impression that there's an ongoing concerted attempt to smear Prince Andrew as an alternative to offering any actual evidence of criminality. It's as if there's a competition ongoing for who can get the biggest load of tripe out there where the gullible will chomp it up.

“The SNP is getting a good kicking for failures of the NHS in Scotland. Imagine how much worse it would be with Labour in charge? No, thanks! I don't want to scare myself to death.” Oppor Tuna T.

Lest we forget
Bier Smarmer is in the pocket of t.b. liar, who makes a living out of cosying up to the worst oppressors on the planet.
“What else can you Xpect from a lawyer, whose life is all about his pay day rather than trivialities like guilt & innocence.” D. Vine
“Is there something about the legal trade that attracts people with no sense of proportion? It would certainly Xplain the bizarre decisions we get @ all levels of it; especially from judges.” Karh Ismer

Expensive gestures
1,339 drug deaths in Scotland in 2020. Wee Sterney Burgeon chucked £250 MILLION @ the problem and the deaths dropped to 1,051.
   Was £868,000 per druggie saved. VFM?
   Since then, the death rate has risen by 900. Does Humbug Useless have £780 MILLION to eliminate just the rise? Plus a few bob more for the costa living crisis, of course.

Logic Defeated
How can the 'respected' Reuters Institute @ Oxford U. declare that 36% of UK news consumers avoid news broadcasts? If they don't watch the news, they can't be 'news consumers', can they? Sheesh!
[Potential consumers? Which is another category completely. Ed]

This Year’s Wisdom:
Change we may get, but not for the better.

Having links with the terminated J. Epsteen, or having met him a few times, is not necessarily a crime and only criminals are pretending it is.
   Only a court living in the public pay sector could waste time on listing everyone who ever met or has heard of Mr. Epsteen instead of doing useful work.
   Contempt of an institution is not the same as contempt for the drones Xploiting it.

EM Switch Off
The Xperts have found that people who are white native Britons don't pay much attention to TV ads in which the lead character is from an ethnic minority in an obvious quota role.
The disconnect tends to be 100% if the TV viewer has the sound muted.

Non-equivalence
Is it a surprise that vegan fast food contains just as many calories as normal fasties? Of course, it ain't. The vegan stuff is also loaded with sugar and lacking in the vitamins & minerals present in normal foods as it's made from plants, which have an entirely different metabolism to animals.
   The full effects of these artificial foods on the consumer are still not clear but the fakes are known to be inadequate in dietary terms.
   Hence the supplements industry.

The Trivial honcho is claiming he knew nothing back then about the Post Office Horizon shambles/theft and he knows nothing now. Same with Bier Smarmer. Remove the Ks from Davey & Smarmer pronto?
“We all know what the next step will be, don't we? A public inquiry run by some pantomime dame with a posturing legal court jester aimed at kicking everything into touch for a decade or as long as it takes to reduce the ranks of the Swindled 700 significantly.” X. Ploit
[Cynicism seems to be the standard for this topic, based on experience of past crimes against humanity perpetrated by the state machine. Ed.]

Reality bites back
Commons Leader P. Mordor has fired a lethal broadside @ the anti-Britisch far-Left. She wants a memorial to the members of the Royal Navy who lost their lived fighting to stop the slave trade centuries ago. That's a celebration of real history instead of all the crap coming from the ludicrosities.
   The Bash-Britain diversifiers are aghast.

So it goes . . .
The latest US mission to the Moon is turning into an opportunity for the private company hired by grounded NASA to learn from what can go wrong and grow.
   A fuel leak and solar panels which won't look @ the Sun are this mission's crisis points.
   As the man said, life's a bitch and then you die.

Sherie Facilitates Boot Insertion
“If Smarmer's Chancellor wannabe, R. Reeves, claims she can't manage on the 86 grand** she's paid—that's paid, not earned—plus all the lovely Xpenses she gets, why is such a financial incompetent being touted as someone capable of managing the UK's finances?” M. Erdalors
[** that's more than ten times what someone on the Osborne swindle, old state pension gets to live. And going up to 92 grand next April. Ed]
“Touted by Smarmer, let us not forget.” Cas Cande
“Does the Reeves woman's husband, who's on £180K, contribute Net Zero to their household budget if she reckons she can't cope?” Katan Vig
“The latest confection against Prince Andrew has been described as 'a tissue of lies [which] is hard to pick apart'. But as it is all about money & the legal trade is involved heavily in the obfuscation, what else can you Xpect?” Dis Covery

The warmest months on record during a seven-month stretch in 2022? Not at all impressive if the starting point for the charting was just . . . 1840.
   Not Xactly an Xtensive range of data, as any real climate scientist will tell you. But not the climate criminals, of course. And why is the BierBC moaning about it to us? We're not responsible for the coal-fired power stations elsewhere in the world. Or for the current El Niño episode in the eastern Pacific.
“2023 was the hottest year in the last 100,000 years? Total tripe. The data isn't there and that sort of message can only come from people who don't care if everyone else knows they're making it up.” 1. Helluva

Bier Smarmer is offering an unfunded greenwashing campaign which will create millions of new jobs—in China, which where the building materials will come from. Wunderbar.

The boss of the NatWest bank has clinched the Wind Up The Peasants Award for this month laughably easily. All he had to do was announce that it's not hard to get on the housing ladder. Cue a total meltdown of Those People and the gullible.
The bozos of the Untied Nations Outfit are confident of taking the International Nutters' Award after making a messed about and notoriously anti-white bloke of colour its ambassodor to women & girls in the UK.
Putinstan's industrial production is so pathetic that it is having to buy missles from North Korea & drones from Iran for its assault on Ukraine.
Horizon scandal engulfed Trivial honcho E. Davey refusing to surrender his K. Cancellation now essential.

Did you get your Christmas Crocodile?
Good News! There are still some left!
Strictly whilst stocks last from
Romiley Seasonal Essentials, 71b Riverside Drive

Xtortionately Xpensive to buy & run
Electric cars are doing a great job of establishing themselves as 'company only'. Companies are copping for all the subsidies and private motorists find they can't go any distance as quick & affordable charging stations are just not there yet.

As the flood of revelations intensify of who did what & when, and how many blind eyes were turned during the Post Office/Fujitsu Horizon scambles, Bier Smarmer's legal career is coming under increasing scrutiny, driven by his constant bragging about how brilliant it has been.
   There's nothing that brilliant about keeping evil killers out of gaol, mate. Especially if you do it for free as part of a political agenda.
   Just the guy to be our prime monster? Right.
“The likes of Smarmer & Davey are the last people you'd trust with the key to your garden shed if you ever Xpected to see your lawnmower again.” Shelton Tarn
“But they'd have a brilliant 'not me, Guv' Xcuse to try to wham bam boozle you with.” Bennett Delieve

Bier Smarmer has been reduced to making rachelist accusations against the prime monster, Sue Knack, claiming an Indian heritage prevents someone from identifying with the starving peasants who vote Labour and leaves him out of touch with reality.
   This from a bloke who think over 33,000 'women' in the UK have a todger.
   Just when you think he can't sink any lower, he does!

The Eternal Story
How does the NHS manage to WASTE so much of our money? By employing millions of drones who invent stoopid stuff to pad out hospital admission forms.
   F'rinstance, a choice of 159 boxes for the religion tick, (only) 12 more for genders and 10 sexual preferences to ponder.
   All totally irrelevant to most treatments, but hey! That's the NHS for you.

Public Sector SOP
At least 80% of the police farces in England & Wales allow male coppers who are claiming to be female to strip-search real women. Which is a clear violation of the searchee's 'uman bluddy rights and an indictable sexual assault, but hey! That's the New Labour woke police for you.

The shape of things to come
   if the loonies get their way
Veganists are claiming that forcing the entire population to abandon the benefits of a diet that includes meat and switch to Frankenfoods will save the NHS £7 BILLION per year. Which is total bollocks.
   The cost of the supplements needed to compensate for the deficiencies of a total-plant diet and the cost of treating the dietary deficiencies caused, would gulp down that 7 BILLION and lotz more.

Is there a white triangle in the figure?
No, it's just an optical illusion. The brain uses its experience of the world and makes the assumption from what's on offer that there is, indeed, a white triangle.
   But it's an optical illusion.
   Not too far away from the political illusion on offer from Corbynstein's Monster that he can conjure up infinite amounts of dosh out of thin air.

Racking up trouble
London's cosmetic mayor (Labour) has prevented a Tube strike by hurling billions @ already vastly overpaid drivers. Muck Lunch's union, of course. Another blueprint for a Labour government?
Next thing you know, ASLEEP, the train drivers' union, will be walking out on strike as their latest pay deal was for less than Muck Lunch's RMT bunch got. Quick, Mr. Corbynstein, get planting another Magic Money Forest.

This week's absences:
Sir Ed Gravy, whinger about everybloodything, from prime minister's questions to avoid being embarrassed by the Horizon stuff.
   Bier 'U-Turn' Smarmer got a huge laugh from the Tories @ the session by accusing the PM of being someone who used to believe in something.

Publicity-seeking gob open, brain switched off, SNAFU
The elderly Squeaker of the House of Commoners is turning into as big an embarrassment as POTUS Creaky Joe. Sir Hoyle thinks there's a Palestinian Ambassodor requiring Hoyle diplomatic contacts.
News flash: No, there's ain't. And the Commons Squeaker has Net Zero diplomatic content in his job. What other weird notions does he have? We who are paying his wages should deferably be told.

After years of study, Xperts @ Edinburgh U. have found that the best way to annoy a teenager is to tell the kid to tidy up its room.

Sherie Is Back!
“The UN is all about politics & moving money around to that its politicians and their cronies can dip in to it. As far as things like climate science & the antics of transpicaters are concerned, good sense don't come in to it. Ever.” B. Hemoth
Bilge not Bombshell
“Lest we forget, 'court papers claim' is not evidence of guilt. Look at all the stuff police farces, egged on by Smarmer's creature now Lord Watson, collected about abuse & murder of children by entertainers and Tory politicians. All of which turned out to be fantasies & total BS.” R. Migallow
“If there's buckets of money to be made out of the court paper claims, they become even less reliable.” Singh U. Lar
A big chunk of the current shock-horror stuff about Epsteen and people he met was Xposed as BS 5 years ago. But why let inconvenient facts get in the way of a chance to do wibble about the well-known?
“Strange that the Mandelsleaze isn't getting a going over. 'Coz he's one of Those People?” Bann Kroll

Epsteen was an alien from the Planet Zarg, claims witness! And they will invade Earth to sort out all those who were involved in bumping off their pal.

Are you keen to support Your Guy?
      *** Strike a blow for freedom ***
Get yourself the latest THERMAL winter-strength
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Clobbering Time!
That headline was recycled for the NFL Wild Card match featuring the Browns in Houston. Almost a TD for the home team, just a FG. The Browns barged into the end zone after 13 minutes, 7-3. Which left the Texans time to score a TD before Q2, 7-10. The Browns were soon back for another TD, 14-10. A 76-yard dash put the Texans ahead right away, 14-17. A bomb pass with a minute to go, TD, 14-24.
   In Q3, defensive pressure made Flacco throw a pick, which was returned for a TD! 14-31. Then it happened again! 14-38. The Browns doomed. An offensive TD for the Texans a couple of minutes in to Q4, 14-45. And that was how it finished.

Closer but still relentless
Next up, the Dolphins in freezing Kansas City. The Chiefs struck first with a TD. A pick stopped the Fins as Q1 ran out, FG from it at the start of Q2, 0-10. A bomb pass to Hill, a TD after the first minute, 7-10. One for the Chiefs? A penalty on them, FG, 7-13. KC were close in the last minute, FG, 7-16.
   Another FG half-way through Q3, 7-19. KC managed another TD early in Q4, 7-26. Miami recovered a fumble with a minute to go. Nowt from it.

Advertisement Mr. Wydey’s Book List Highly Recommended Reading, Authors worth pursuing & some Awful Warnings, Hundreds of Bux listed!

WEEK 3    The Post Office: Putin the ‘feck’ into defective

 
Today is Blue-Hoo Monday
When all the world's whingers unite in their annual attempt to make everyone on The Planet miserable.

Despite gorbal warmage, the weather persons are trying to talk all of Scotland into a -15 deg.C Big Freeze.
   Cats & dogs are advised to steer clear of gritted areas as they can fall victim to sodium poisoning after licking their paws when they get home.

One law for the Eds . . .
The Trivial leader, Eddie Gravy, spends half his time in the House of Conmans yelling @ other politicians, ordering them to resign. But when he's told to do the same for his part in the Post Office/Fujitsu Horizon computer system crimes, 'That's another matter entirely'.
“His defence seems to be that when he was the minister in charge of the Post Office, the Mafia bosses running it didn't tell him what they were up to. Which makes him a useless figurehead who never should have had the cosmetic job in the first place. A right zombie humbug!” Vig O'Russ
“Which makes a private sector company paying him the best part of 300 grand a year in consultancy fees look very weird.” S.S. Marmer

After studying the likes of Eddie Gravy & Creaky Joe Bidet, an Xpert has concluded that great age does not bring great wisdom. All the ageing process does is make people older.

Q: Is it anything to do with Scotland's First Meenister, H. Useless, if his brother-in-law has been busted in Dundee on drugs charges?
A: Nope.
“Is this the same H. Useless who was Justice Sec. when Horizon-persecuted sub-postmasters were trying & failing to get the attention of SNP MPs and Wee Sterney Burgeon? There were no private prosecutions in Scotland; they were all carried out by the Crown Office, which must have known that something dodgy, if not outrightly criminal, was going on.” Monty Kristo

Be of some good cheer
On the one hand, we're being told that Britain's armed services are in a terminal decline. On the other, which mad dicktater is going to be bone-headed enuff to invade the UK and saddle himself with the garbage heap that a Smarmer government would create?
“His big problem is the gang he has to pick a shadow cabinet from. The likes of Edstone Milipede, Wee Streeting, Angular Robot and that Reeves woman who can't manage her own household budget with an annual family income of over a quarter of a million quid.
   “She is currently holding the Worst of the Bunch Award by popular acclaim, and Smarmer thinks she's fit to be the Chancellor? Sheesh!” Robbin Sherwood

A poll of the customers has found that an ailing majority don't support the striking Jr.Dox, who are killing their patients by neglecting them.

Health services around the world are a total of 14 centuries behind cancer treatment targets.

NFL Wild Card Sunday #1
The Packers, in Dallas, went to a TD for Jones with their opening drive. A pick-6 in the last minute of Q1 set up another TD for Jones in Q2, 14-0. The next one was a TD pass to Wicks, the PAT hit the post, 20-0. Then a pick-6 by Savage! 27-0. The Cowboys woke up and scored a TD @ 0:00 on the clock, 27-7.
   The Cowboys added a FG in Q3, 27-10. GB got close, a third TD for Jones, 34-10. Pollard ran in for a TD after 12 minutes, the 2-point try ended in a penalty and a PAT try hit the post!! 34-16. More Jones on the ground then a TD pass to Musgrave, 41-16. In Q4, Doubs took a TD pass, 48-16. The Cowboys replied with a TD and +2 this time, 48-24. Same again in the 12th minute, 48-32. A 4th down Fail Mary by the Cowboys overshot the end zone. The End.

NFL Wild Card Sunday #2
The Rams got a trip to Detroit. The Lions got close and barged into the end zone for 0-7. The Rams were held to a FG. The Lions were back for another TD in the 14th minute, 3-14. Bang! A long pass & run by the Rams for a TD in Q2, 10-14. 4th & 1 @ the LAR 2, TD Lions, 10-21. Stafford with a TD pass against his old team after 11 minutes of Q2, 17-21.
   A long FG in Q3 put the Lions 17-24 up. One for the Rams in the 13th minute, 20-24. A solid drive by the Rams in Q4 ended in a FG after 7 minutes, 23-24. Lots of effort but no more scoring.
[A win by one point is still a win. Ed.]

NFL Wild Card Sunday #3
The Steelers had the Buffalo Bills jammed up against their goal line from the kick off but a deep pass gave the home team a TD after a minute! The Steelers failed to field the kick off, but a FG try by the Bills was blocked.
   Pittsburgh kicked a FG in the 10th minute, 3-7. One for the Bills, 3-10. The Bills dug out of another hole early in Q2 but a pick in the PS end zone stopped them. Punt. A long bomb to Davis went for a TD, brilliant catch, 3-17. Another TD for the Bills in the 8th minute, 3-24. A PS FG try in the 12th minute was NG! Shakir with a TD with a minute go to half time, 3-31.
   The Steelers blew up at the BB 20. DPI in the end zone put the Bills @ the PS 1 but a fumble went into the end zone. Big punch up with a minute to go to Q4, then a long FG try by the Steelers missed. A TD for Cook a minute in to Q4, 3-38. Lots of 4th & 10 & gone by the Steelers. Can you score 5 touchdowns in 2 minutes? Nope. So start a punch-up instead.

Brave New Nanny
Wee Streeting is to become Labour's Artisan Man & Toothbrush Tsar with special responsibility for getting teachers to brush the teeth of their customers. That's in addition to the usual mental elfing & counselling.
   This is just part of the Smarmer nanny state plan, which will require us to buy land in the Amazon jungle to plant the Magic Money Trees to pay for it if the scam is going to add £9 million/year to the unfunded billions Smarmer is planning to blow.

How strange that only sub-postmasters running a post office as a private business were done over for Horizon's confected losses. Didn't happen at Crown Post Offices, which are run directly by the Post Office.
   This can only be clear evidence of Post Office Mafia-style gang bosses knowing something had gone badly wrong and trying to keep it at a distance by keeping their own employees out of it.

NFL Wild Card Finale, the Philadelphia Eagles in Tampa Bay
The home team's opener went to a FG. Almost a TD pass to the end zone, a catch and run through the defence for a TD on the next play by TB, 0-10. A 54-yard FG after a minute of Q2 put the Bucs 0-13 ahead. A 47-yarder from the first PE trip to TB territory, 3-13. A 48-yarder by TB, 3-16. A bomb pass got the Eagles to the TB 5, TD on the next play, offside on the PAT, the Eagles went for 2 and didn't get it, 9-16.
   A sack stopped the opener for both teams in Q3. Pinned deep, the Eagles gave up a safety. Another TD by TB, 9-25. Smith was doing a grand job for the Eagles all through the match. Another TD for TB in the 10th minute of Q4, 9-32. And that was enough.

That long rift volcano in Iceland has finally taken out the fishing port it has been threatening. Grindavik is gone and the inhabitants will have to find another volcano; an inactive one would be good; for the rebuild.

A deal of outrage
Mafia organizations worldwide and criminal gangs of all complexions are complaining about being likened to the sorry crew of Post Office prosecutors, who gave bonuses to their hirelings for shoving the most sub-postmasters in gaol.
   We have some moral standards, say the Mafiosi at large. Unlike your Britisch Post Office.

Lesser Government News
Egon Mush for Humbug Useless. He didn't ban XL Bully dogs just to be different from Sue Knack. Now, he's had to do an embarrassing Smarmer U-ey and ban them after all.
Westminster council has been booted in the ghoolies by an industrial tribunal for persecuting a social worker because she dared to Xpress unwoke views on the interweb.
   Those People don't win all the time, even though it feels like they have a gold-plated licence to be gits.

	Strike, Vote, Repeat The Jr.Dox are going to keep on striking until their mandate runs out in September of this year. Then they'll vote themselves another 6 months of it, which will keep them on the sidelines until March 2025.
“Are the BMA & the Jr.Dox now twinned with the Hamas of Gaza & the Houthis of Yemen?” S. Nsss

Mugs mugged in Dry January
If you want to be ripped off during the year-opening virtue fest, switch to a non-alcoholic beer . The prices of the various brews have shot up by between 25% and an eye-watering 75%, based on what they were in December 2023.
   Many zero-alc brands are now the same price as an alcohol-containing beer, which has a tax premium added because of the alcohol content.

Blighted tax-bandit country
Thanks to its prethetic sad geek of a cosmetic mayor, London now has the slowest travel times & highest greenhouse gas emissions in the whole of the UK.
   In fact, it has become really, really UseLEZ.

++ gbl wants Israeli team banned from international football ++ Gap to be filled by a Hama squad? ++ gbl manager & coach? ++
++ Smarmer demands MPs sign off on attacks on terrorists by Britisch military ++ Smarmer undemands sign off for mob in Yemen ++ No one surprised ++
++ Smarmer insists there is no consistency and therefore no foul in his new position ++
++ Bier Smarmer claims use of private jets okay for him but nokay for prime minister ++
++ 6 pillocks busted in London for trying to gum up the front door of the Stock Xchange to prevent Britisch colonization of Palestine ++

The Israelis have reached a body ratio of 23,000 to 1,200 after 100 days of attacks on the Gaza enclave.

Bier Smarmer was pledging to shake the Magic Money Tree and nationalize everything in sight not too long ago. The Post Office, (government run, not by the private sector) is levering the wheels off another of Smarmer's Sillies by its demonstration of the art of the insolence of office.
“Public ownership is anything but the benign it claims to be. No chance of the bosses there getting the chop from the shareholders when they screw up.” Luft Kansas

Some South Koreans are aghast.
   Their president is a dog lover (that's of live ones) and he has had this traditional dish banned from his nation's eateries.
   Outraged dog ranchers are planning protest marches all over the place as their job goes up in smoke.

Turn about
Should the elderly be worried by the findings of a charity that makes money out of them, which is making a Big Thing out of youngies being Xtremely ageist?
   Not if it gives the oldies grounds for Xpressing their contempt for the iggorance of young punks and dismissing them as persons of Net Zero consequence.

Very early start!
We're not half-way through January and already, we have a strong contender for the Phrase of the Year Award for 2024. Boeing has come up with ‘quality escape' as its alibi for a door panel blowing off one of its 737 Max 9 airliners @ 16,000 feet.
Translation: A defective product was not picked up by routine quality checks between manufacture and final use.

Predictably, various parts of the public sector are sounding off against Home Office plans to use medical scans to spot bogus asylum seekers when they pretend to be children.
   What a buncha loot-grabbin' bums they are.

A bloke who tried to smuggle a woman into the UK in his car was gaoled for 2½ years. That's 2 months more than the woman who was gaoled for getting 2 people killed by her dangerous driving. No one died, in the bloke's case.
Lest we forget, Hapless Hairy was a gunner in an Army helicopter, not a pilot. Which makes calling him an aviation legend even more of a sick joke. Legend Award presenter John T. Revolta doesn't come out of the mess at all well for being in it for the sake of some loot.

is the BierBC up to? It was ‘proved' beyond all reasonable doubt on the lunchtime news the other day that Labour led by Bier Smarmer has no chance of winning a workable majority in a general election!!!
Meanwhile, alleged Tories are running opinion polls to 'prove' that Smarmer has no chance of losing!!

Q: Does the PM's Rwanda Bill matter?
A: Nope. Whatever he does, the Smarmers & the rest of Those People will fucq it up.

As the urge to get us to wear face masks again grows in our politicians, let us not forget that Xperts abroad concluded in 2020 that wearing them has little effect. Which confirms the conclusion reached here during the outbreak of swine flu in 2009/10 that wearing face masks would not help.
   When the more recent Xpert negative conclusion got to the World Health Organization, the advice was accepted initially. Then reversed following political interference.
   Conclusion? Making the general public wear a face mask is all to do with politics and nothing to do with science.

The global warming fraudsters are creating havoc in Africa, where governments are finding that mining natural diamonds cannot compete on a dollar per carat basis with the lab-grown version. Which can be made in any colour the customer fancies.

House building is at its lowest level for a decade due to potential customers refusing to have anything to do with houses built on known flood plains.

“How strange that gbl isn't demanding Putinstan be banned from international football for killing hundreds of thousands of Ukrainians. Certainly enuff to make the Israelis look like rank amateurs in the Slaughter Stakes. Wot's his alibi for that? Bound to be something shameful.” Nofe Houlin

Nose inserted
++ Smarmer raps Iranians for sponsoring Red Sea shipping terror ++ Ayatollah Bunchacommies aghast @ his temerity? ++ Given Mr. U-Turn's record, he's bound to be all for it next week ++
“If the nation gives Labour an election majority, it will be government of the pillocks by the pillocks. Which is very symmetrical.” S. Nackstabber

In the UK, they build villages on flood plains. In Iceland, they build them on volcanoes. In Africa & Asia, they do it in areas subject to either devastating droughts or devastating floods. Or earthquakes.
   Proof that there will be an intelligent species along eventually to replace humans as top dogs?

The SNP is concentrating sex offenders in the north of the country; mainly in Inverness or further north; for a reason as yet undisclosed.

Today's Question:
How come B. O'Bummer is being touted as the first black president of the Untied States when he is only 50% of colour?
[That's what you get from a system based on quotas rather than talent. Ed.]

Worth a try!
German farmers are turning into clones of the French Yellow Vest Pests and blocking roads in protest against a decision by their country's leader, Sergeant Schultz, to cut their fuel subsidies.
   Farmers don't move? No one else does!

At the start of 1918, the British & French governments were talking about blowing £50 million on a tunnel under the Channel, which would take about 9 years to construct.
   How did that work out?

Princess Kate has successful abominable surgery. King Chuck getting his prostrate done next week. All @ Net Zero impact on NHS waiting lists.

An apology from Manchester's chief constable over sexual abuse of young girls in Rochdale by men of Pakistani origin from 2004 to 2013, which was ignored by the police and local government, is totally too late and therefore meaningless as the people who let it happen are getting away with their crimes against humanity.
   Same with the butinski stuff from A. Burnham, Manchester's cosmetic mayor & Labour leader wannabe.
Craven Islamophilia & systemic misogyny are the labels being attached to the police farces & local authorities which let Moslem gangs assault & abuse young white girls in the NW of England.

This is yet another abuse of language. Just as 'phobia' is used in situations where indifference rather than fear is involved, 'philia' is similarly abused. In the above example, the do-nothings decided that they would get more hassle from the 'Moslem community', which is prone to stop the traffic with massive demonstrations, than from teenage girls. And so the abusers were ignored.

Q: Is climate change an acceptable Xcuse for failing to fill potholes and keep the nation's roads in good repair?
A: No bloody way. A wet month in the stocks for all the climate criminals offering this Xcuse.

is the agenda of the people who are claiming that holding Fujitsu accountable for the damage done by its defective software could cause damage to our diplomatic relations with Japan?
[It definitely has the ring of something highly suspect, especially if a Fujitsu boss is telling the inquiry that compensation should be on offer. Ed.]

Today's Question:
What will the UK's population of undeported foreign criminals be after 5 years of a Labour government? Over a million? Over 2 billion?

Q: What do you get if you put electric buses on the school run in London?
A: A massive fire that needs 3 fire engines & a company of coppers, and more egg on the mush of the sad geek of a cosmetic mayor.

Today's Xplanation: Dog Whistle Politics
The leader of HM's Opposition blows a proverbial whistle to get everyone's attention then proceeds to confirm that he/she/it is a total tosser.

The Joke of the Year [so soon? Ed.]
has to be the decision by an academy in Colorado to make Prince Hairy a Legend of Aviation in recognition of his contributions to this field and also space Xploration.

Labour's cosmetic health spokes, Wee Streeting, is proposing a sugar tax to keep the costa living crisis growing.

2024 is Xpected to see the biggest cull of native Britons in modern history when overpaid GPs join striking Jr.Dox & consultants and become totally unavailable to their long-suffering customers.
A survey by the Dept. of Health has found that NHS waiting lists shrink only in those months when doctors are not on strike.
The NHS in England is wasting at least £2.6 BILLION per year on overpayments for commodities such as paper, rubber gloves, surgical gear & breathing equipment.
A spokes commented, "The NHS can analyse, spend, track savings, compare prices and still blow vast amounts of taxpayers' money on stuff of Net Zero benefit to the taxpayer."

This speculation game is fun. Nothing more. Xcept when the aim is malicious.
Bier Smarmer could be PM for a decade.
Bier Smarmer could be flung in gaol for his crimes against the truth.
The BierBC HQ could be flattened by a rogue meteorite.
The legal trade could turn honest overnight.
Ect. Ect.

Not so cool any more
A life-size bronze statue of Greenhouse Grotter, which cost Winchester University. 24 grand, has been moved from the main drag to ‘a secluded spot to reduce the number of complaints about cash wasted by ‘greenwashing twats'. Wot next? The statue being hurled in a harbour somewhere when teenage whingers go completely out of fashion?

The Labour-run state is a classic Brown Hole. Every resource that can't escape in time is sucked in, never to be seen again by the population at large, and nothing ever escapes to be of benefit to the voters & their families. Only those who can be relied upon to donate to the Labour party have a hope of copping for cash.

Deferably long overdue
Every advertisement which claims that reducing the mug punter's carbon footprint will affect the planet's climate should be subject to a £1,000 hippocrisy reduction tax.
   The benefit to The Planet implied in the claim is non-existent and anyone who really & truly doesn't know that should be dropped down a deep dark hole to raise the collective intelligence quotient of the 'uman race.

Sherie defies the Big Freeze & Melt to RoundUp
“Bier Smarmer to do a flip-flop on doing U-turns?” Vod Karoks
“Are we impressed by tales of the temperature dropping to -11 deg.C in the wilds of Cumbria? Totally irrelevant to everyone else. As silly a tale as the claim that The Planet is on fire.” S. Kandal
“People who cycle to work are less likely to need antidepressants, I read. Is that 'coz they get their kicks from terrifying pedestrians? And they get themselves killed with reckless manoeuvres if they venture onto the roads?” A. Roflot

Fast Fashion 4U!
Designs made with MorphWear™ are Remote Programable
Fire up the app, take your pick, hit ACCEPT, set a new look
Romiley Fast Fashion, 19c Riverside Drive

An endless flow of tripe
The Information Commissioner's Office is getting a good booting for spreading the disinformation that transpicater men go through the menopause even though they never had a menostart.
   This sad outfit is also demanding that snivel servants should be required to believe that a bloke in a frock is a woman rather than just pretending to go along with it to be polite.
Ofgem (energy regulator) is also getting a good booting for spreading similarly wonky bollocks.

Poor people aren't buying overpriced low alcohol drinks, the Xperts reckon. Well! Whoda thunk it!

Not nuffink to do with me, mate
Something that's long overdue is an automatic fine for the misuse of the term ‘phobia', which means fear, when the context is indifference and/or irrelevance.
   £500 for a first offence should shake things up nicely.

t.b. liar was behind the claim that ditching Fujitsu's defective Horizon program would damage diplomatic relations with Japan. The fingerprints of the Mandelsleaze are also there. Dave the Leader reckons no one said word one to him about this public sector criminality when he was doing his pre-Brexit leading stint.

Junking Time
P. Vennells, the former Post Office honcho who has God as an alibi, is now being dismissed as over-promoted & dim, which doesn't say a whole lot for the bozos who gave her the job in the first place.
Also, Eddie Gravy & the Trivials are being outed as the dirtiest rats in the political cess pit.
In addition, it's time for Welby, the Arsebishop of Woke, to go, say the real people. Especially if he keeps on backing people like Vennells, the Wicked Witch of the Post Office.

Divisional Play Off #1
A long FG gave the home team Ravens an early lead over the Texans. A long 'un for the Texans, 3-all at the close of Q1. The first TD went to the Ravens 6 minutes in to Q2, 3-10. Crumbs! A 67-yard punt return for a Texan TD by Sims, 10-all. A long FG try by them missed.
   In Q3, Jackson went in for a TD after 3 minutes, 10-17. A drive by the Ravens went into Q4 and to a TD in the first minute, 10-24. Jackson in again for a TD after 9 minutes, 10-31, good night, Texas. 10-34 final.

Bier Smarmer is the very last person
you want in goal!
He ducks questions. He ducks responsibility for his many crimes against the nation. And he instinctively ducks out of the way when the ball comes @ him.
   Goal! Every time.

Q: What do you get if you pay Bier Smarmer an advance of 18½ grand for a volume of autobiography?
A: No book and your money back 'coz he couldn't find a ghost writer able to come up with something vaguely interesting.

No solution for the pests
The minions employed at the Palace of Westmonster have failed to rid the place of mice by using only humane & ethical methods. Maybe the time has come to sack the lot of them and bring in someone who can do effective.
P. Mordor, now Commons Leader, solved the mice in her office problem in 2014 by bringing her cat to work.

D. Trump won first prize in the Iowa Cactus Fair and has hired a minion to keep the cactus properly looked after.

The latest threat to the survival of native hedgehogs is robotic mowers, which carve them up if shoddily designed.

Q: What do we do when we fall off the horse?
A: We buy a car and eliminate the problem.

Divisional Play Off #2
The Packers had to settle for a FG half-way through Q1 of their match in San Francisco. They couldn't make 4th & 1 in the first minute of Q2. TD for SF in the 7th minute, 3-7. Another FG for GB, 6-7. A FG try by the 49ers in the last minute was tipped wide by the GB defence!
   Melton wide open in the SF end zone in the 9th minute of Q3, feet down, TD, 13-7. One back from a run by McCaffrey, 13-14. Kraft with one for GB, +2, 21-14. SF opened Q4 with a long FG, 21-17. A big dose of Jones set up a FG miss by GB. SF to the GB 6, TD McCaffrey, 21-24. Groan. A pick by SF sealed their deal.

Sherie does a quick burst of Comments
“Best-selling author J.K. Rowling seems to be doing a grand job of upsetting the far-Leftists, who think transpicaters are the only people who count. Lang may her lum reek!” Mike L. Kane
“That's the sad clowns who aren't transpicaters themselves but who can get the attention they seek only by getting normal people to jump through their hoops, using transpication as their Xcuse.” Al Katraz

B in the direction of S
"Xperts say more volcanic cracks could open in Iceland" means what? Absolutely nothing. It's just Xperts covering their arses by being vague. They're right if something happens and right if nothing happens.
   Therefore, the statement is valueless.

Q: Just how thick is gbl?
A: There aren't enuff short planks in the world to model him.

WEEK 4    Putin the ‘emu’ into emulate

 
We are told that the public are losing trust in A.I.s. Which is a deliberate distortion of the facts of political proportions. What the public actually don't trust are the humans who have control of A.I. systems, not the A.I.s themselves.

The alleged Tory party poll showing a Smarmer wipe-out is being positioned as an attack on Sue Knack by sinister internal forces.

Japan has managed to put a lander on the Moon. One small snag, though. The solar cells are not supplying any power. Which means that when the batteries croak, so does the lander. There is a chance that the Moon's rotation will give the panels a better look at the Sun, however.

Divisional Play Off #3, the Bucs in Detroit
Defences ruled initially. The Lions were held to a FG in the 8th minute. The Bucs were sacked to one after 11 minutes, 3-all. The Lions got close in Q2, TD in the 3rd minute, 3-10. A FG try by the Bucs dinged off the post. The Bucs were at the Detroit 2 with 16 seconds left, TD, 10-all.
   The Bucs were sacked to a punt to start Q3. 4th & goal, TD for the Lions, 10-17. One back for the Bucs in the last seconds of the quarter, 17-all. Zoom! TD for the Lions a couple of minutes in to Q4, 17-24. Another in the 9th minute, 17-31. Red zone for the Bucs, TD but no +2, 23-31, 4½ minutes left. The Lions had to punt but a pick gave them the ball and the win.

President Boris is all in favour of more Trump to put the woke wonks back in their box. He thinks Trump will do the right thing in a second term, including supporting Ukraine against Putinstan.

Xtremists may not be called Xtremists, an Islamist Xtremist is claiming, as it is a pejorative term. But quite how a word can make a terrorist pariah less of a social outcast remains to be revealed.
The anti-vaxers are on course for achieving a slew of deaths from measles thanks to their opposition to an effective vaccine.
The kill ratio in Gaza is now over 25,000 to 1,200, and 50% of the buildings have been destroyed. One Nagorno'd Karabakh coming up.
Retail sales fell in December in response to the UK's internal crack-down.
gbl's anti-Israeli rants have raised him to the rank of ‘true prophet', as far as the Hamas are concerned. This is in response to his rant about chucking Israel out of international football.
“He must have a ginormous arse to host a hole of that size.” Mike L. Angelo
gbl is frantically trying to put an alibi about his anti-Israelism in place, having shot his mouth off whilst in possession of just part of someone else's story. The BierBC is ignoring this further blot, as it has ignored all previous ones.

Thought for the Day:
Blessed are the Biers because they shall B.C.

Q: What can you do about a dripping tap?
A: Ignoring it is always an option.

Pushed? Fall over!
We will be at war with China, Iran, North Korea & Putinstan in the next 5 years, the current Defence Sec. Xpects. The good news is that there won't be much fighting if Bier Smarmer gets to be the PM. He'll thrown in the towel as soon as he's confronted by someone with a cross face.
Bier Smarmer is being positioned as a revival of Labour party 1980s honcho N. Pillock.

Divisional Play Off #4, KC in Buffalo
The Bills got the calls, on to the Red zone, just a FG. One for the Chiefs in the 11th minute, 3-all. The Bills started Q2 in the red zone, on to a TD, 3-10. Another FG for KC, 6-10. TD for a wide open Kelce, 13-10. A TD for Allen in the last seconds put the Bills 13-17 up.
   A pylon dive by Kelce in Q3 put KC 20-17 ahead. The Bills got close, TD, 20-24. KC drove in to Q4, TD, 27-24. A fake punt didn't work for the Bills. KC got to the 3, but fumbled the ball into the end zone. The Bills survived a fumble but a FG try missed in the 14th minute. The End.

100% Climate Crime, Net Zero virtue
Making steel involves extracting metal from iron ore. Recycling scrap steel isn't making steel. And claiming that it is, is a lie. As simple as that.
   Closing down coal-fired plants here transfers jobs & pollution abroad; to China & India; in the name of virtue flagging and allows hostile regimes like the one in China to screw us over the price. And adds the cost of moving virgin steel half way round the world.
   This is total nonsense of the sort that sounds like a good idea only to far-Left climate criminals.

Esso petrol in Romiley 137.9p/litre.
Esso diesel 146.9p/litre.
Going up again.

We were assured that Storm Isha would bring hundreds of tornadoes. Where did the bugger think it was, the American Mid-West?
“To Tamils who do yoga, Isha means 'the formless divine', a trip to the interweb told me. There was nothing particularly divine about a storm that killed two people in the UK. Would it be asking too much for Weather Control to engage brain before unleashing the next effort for the next violent storm?” Con Fusion

Something has gone seriously wrong at Weather Control if today's storm has an actual name, Jocelyn, rather than the load of wibble usually stuck on a bit of winter weather.
[And without even the benefit of prompting by our correspondent above. Ed.]

Don’t mention the 28 BILLION!
Smarmer's Chancellor wannabe, 'Money Tree' Reeves, reckons she'll fix the UK business reputation. That's down at the bottom of the depths of the Brown Hole the Labour party would create in our economy.

Someone feeling not subject to the rules?
The legal trade in Scotland could be set to sue Wee Sterney Burgeon for deleting official government messages that she sent when the Chinese plague was at its worst and doing the bewigged wonders out of a nice little earner from trawling through them, looking for crimes against humanity.

Eyes tight as a tick shut
When Dir. of Pub. Prost., Smarmer had no idea what J. Savile was being allowed to get away with. Nor did he know what the Post Office was getting away with.
   Wot next for the heir to the Four Woke Monkeys?

[see nothing, hear nothing, say nothing, do nothing. Ed.]

More Green Bollocks, hanging on the wall
Our certifiable Energy Sec. is trying to blow £1.7 BILLION per year on getting Drax to take a totally insignificant 8 million tonnes of carbon dioxide out of the atmosphere. This will have absolutely no measurable effect on the global climate and burn up cash which could be much better spent.
[But probably wouldn't be if the government & the civil service are involved. Ed.]
   That's 8 megatons extracted from the 3.3 MILLION megatons in the atmosphere, or 0.00024%. And if every one of the 200 or so countries on The Planet did the same, that would be just a reduction of 0.05% in the amount of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere.
“About the amount that goes up the chimneys of China's power stations in 0.371 days.” Marsh Alor
What makes the whole thing even worse is that the plan to store carbon dioxide under the North Sea is still at the 'pie in the sky' stage. The scammers have no clue how to do it in a way that will stop the sea off Scotland turning into a carbonated fizzy drink. Even worser, the cost is bound to be at least five times the budget as that's what always happens with these scams.

The climate fraudsters are getting so desperate to be noticed that they have reduced the requirement for a 'winter wonderland' condition to one lousy inch of snow.

Snoflakes are considered too feak & weeble to be able to deal with the early Bond films, and need to be warned off them.

According to Trivials' honcho & Horizon Hero Eddie Gravy, the Post Office is an Arm's Length Body (ALB). Which makes him what? A BPB?
[Barge Pole Body. Ed.]

The relentless march of science
The Chinese have cloned a rhesus monkey, but how close are they to humans & cloning Donald Trump so that he can spend the 700 years in gaol that the Democraps are busting a gut to fit him up for?
“Cute idea, making juries for his trials anonymous so that no one can spot the ringers insinuated on to them to fix the desired verdict.” Lor N. Orda

Crumbs! It took the BierBC 3 years to scare up a performer's chair small enuff for 'half-litre-sized' Shandy Toxwig to do a quiz show comfortably.

Last year, the Enviromint Agency binned 500 plans for flood protection schemes in the month of November. No wonder everywhere is drowning.

Sherie unloads a quickie RoundUp
“The truth is out. Aviation legend Hapless Hairy's official role in an Army helicopter was 'ballast'. He had to sit on the opposite side of the centre line to the pilot so that it would fly straight & level.” N. Capsulate
“If we drop a nuke on wherever Putrid the Poisoner is lurking and tell the world we singled out terrorist infrastructure and we were not seeking conflict, would that avert World War Three?” Major Rity

Anti- & non-vaxers in London & the West Midlands have created local measles epidemics. NHS to declare a notional incident egermency then relax, job done?
   Imports from Asia, and illegal immigrants, plus internet-influenced boneheads are being blamed for reintroducing a disease which was declared by the WHO to have been wiped out in the UK in 2016.

Sadgeek con as election looms?
He's blown £170 MILLION of Magic Money Tree cash on bribes to rail unions and not raising Tube fares. Cash which will have to come out of the customers' pockets, of course. But London's cosmetic mayor must be hoping they don't realize that until it's too late.

The Shirk @ Home brigade are becoming increasingly visible when they venture out of doors. They're o'bese, they have a bad back from a sloppy working posture, and many also have a wonky neck.

The Main Eventers first
What we need is a government with the guts to stand up and say, "We will do Net Zero after China and India have got there. We will not steal their glory."

The German government has offered some clarity about how the UK will be at war with Putinstan in the next 5-8 years.
   It will be as a result of an attack on another NATO member rather than us, and the new act of aggression by Putrid will drag the rest of the NATO gang into the conflict.
   Not that an indirect attack is any more avoidable than a direct one if Putrid is feeling lucky.

Celebrating the nation’s most famous poet
Tonight, on January 25th, it's Burns Night, when everyone with Scottish ancestry is entitled to go out and set fire to something.
   Wha daur meddle wi’ me? Time to find out!

Taken for mugs BIG TIME
People who buy branded goods are being ripped off by Xcessive price inflation, and also shrinkflation, which is giving the punters less in the packet with no price reduction
   Another nasty trick is skimpflation, which is achieved by reducing the quality and/or quantity of main ingredients with no reduction in price.
“It's not just the brandito banditos you have to watch out for. I did a local shop yesterday and the price of own brand orange juice in the Sainsbury Local has shot up by 15%, which ain't no joke.” Promiskew Witty

Bang to rights
There is nothing intrinsically wrong about being a narcissist. But if you're making a career out of it, and you're also totally useless at your job, it does become a Bad Thing.
   The prime example is London's cosmetic mayor—lest we forget, that's the bloke who claimed the New Year fireworks were a gift directly from him, and who'a ripping off motorists shamelessly with a UseLEZ scam which is having very little measurable effect on air quality.

Benan Jeriz ice cream is going to throw a HUGE wobbly is there isn't a permanent cease fire in Gaza.

Storm Esher handed the railway company which does Kent the Weird of the Month Award with a chance to pause a service due to a greenhouse on the line @ Westgate-on-Sea.

What it’s all about really—ripping off motorists
Glasgow's UseLEZ scam managed to reduce visits to city centre shops in December by 10% compared to 2022's figures.
   The SNP/Green alliance is hoping to do the same for other major cities when similar scams are introduced later in the year.
   Vote for nutters and get them!

Calm down, dears!
Only now, a week or so later, is the BierBC starting to calm down after going into absolute hysterics over a rise in the rate of inflation. A rise of just 0.1% from 3.9% to 4.0%. Due to a rise in tobacco tax.

Fujitsu staff in the UK have walked out on strike 'coz their counterparts in Japan are getting ten times more in the way of pay rises! The grabbing bastards!

theGrauniad Logic
Because super-rich people have superyachts, which are allowed to come & go freely, the government should ignore the small boats shipping millions of illegals across the Channel.
   Weird, or what!
   Apparently, in the far-Left world of theGrauniad , all boats & the people on them should be considered equal whether they are or not.

Snack opportunity
Masochists are flocking to sites along the Scottish coastline where they can alternate baking in a sauna with dips in freezing cold seawater.
   It's good for the cardio-dracula system, and will help the customer to live forever, the Xponents assure us.
   No doubt the local ocean wildlife counters will be keeping an eye on whether there's an increase in visits to these hotspots by large and hungry marine species.

Today's Question:
Are weather services staffed by insecure people who need constant attention from others? Is that why they try to turn every day's routine weather into an ‘Xceptional' event.

Idiot of the Month:
Lord Carlile if 1. he really thinks Sue Knack is taking the country toward totalitarianism or 2. if he was just pretending to think this as a rather prethetic attention-seeking manoeuvre.

The story behind the pretend belief or Rewrite! Rewrite!
The latest bit of biog-fiction from Bier Smarmer is that he never thought his sometime hero, O.J. Corbynstein, would ever make it to the job in Downing Street. That's after spending years assuring the nation that it would happen and he was all for it.
   But hey! He's a lawyer and he was making money out of it. So under his rules, that makes everything okay.

S’more Smarmerology
Bier Smarmer's boring personality substitute is seen as his major weapon. He's hoping to use it to send the customers to sleep with his endless narcotic wibble, should they be daft enough to make him prime monster.
   Why? So that no one is awake and able to see what a bog up he and his shambolic crew are making of everything.

The enemy on the doorstep
Rachelist, anti-Britisch wonks are trying to ban the anthem Rule Britannia at a time when Bier Smarmer has declared war on Britisch values and announced that he's in favour of everything woke & anti-Britisch.
   Is this the sort of indecisive glitterbug we want as prime monster? NO 'EFFIN WAY!
“A wet 6 weeks in the stocks for the lot of them.” B.L. Zebub
“London's cosmetic mayor, the sad geek, is even worse. 6 wet months in the stocks for him.” M. Pire
“Smarmer is going for the votes of brainless yoof rather than those of thinking adults. Probably 'coz grown-ups ask too many awkward questions!” Dr. Al Glish
“Why can't they set the Post Office crime confecters on the mob in Yemen that's attacking Red Sea shipping? That would make their eyes water. And send the Horizon Twins, Eddie Gravy & Beer Smarmer, out ahead as spotters for the confecters.” T. Erminate

The drug trade in Britain is facing a crisis following a major effort by the Border Force, which has doubled the amount of cannabis & cocaine intercepted & seized in the last year.

Deaths from heart disease are at a record level due to two causes.
   1. The NHS wastes too much of our cash on wokery at the Xpense of training & building up front-line staff.
   2. The customers are eating themselves into a state that make them too fat to survive.

Bound to cause wailing & gnashing of teef! Terrorists taking part in street-blocking Xercises are to be banned from wearing face masks, both sinister & comical. Cue a row over definitions.    Cue more dosh in the pockets of the legal trade.

The BierBC has been put on notice to stop indulging in offensive far-Left propaganda on its online platforms. Fake news is also out. Currently, the regulator can just point a finger at an obvious lie. An unignorable smack round the back of the head, and/or a fine, is the coming thing.

Of course, it was terrifying; that was the whole point of it
The BierBC show Mastermind, we were informed breathlessly in a Daily Disaster article, has a set inspired by a ‘terrifying' wartime Gestapo interrogation. But what else would you expect the interrogation to be other than terrifying if was conducted by an organization charged with getting information by any or all means?

Routine Labour Hippocrisy
A Labour MP, A. Begum, has accused the Tories of causing a housing crisis whilst she is causing one herself in Tower Hamlets, London. She clinging on to a council flat, which she has admitted she doesn't need, having jumped the multi-year queue to acquire it.

Brainwashing by starvation?
Among its crimes against humanity, the BierBC includes locking up any historic recordings which Xplain the past in ways that offend the wonks. Thus serious-minded viewers & listeners are deprived of the chance to hear testimony from people who were fans of items on the Bierocracy's Disapproved List and denied the chance to observe, evaluate & make up their own mind.

All those who drown in the English Channel after falling off a people smuggler's boat are to be charged with felony self-harm for abandoning a safe country; France; to put themself deliberately in peril on the sea.

The One Nation cabal of Tory MPs is to be deported to Rwanda along with assorted ludicrous far-Lefties as they have made it plain that the nation the whole of the Ones gang supports, like Labour & the Trivials, is not the Yew Kay.

Q: If you are a teacher who harasses her colleagues with vexatious accusations of rachelism to the point of the school giving you the push for creating a toxic enviromint, what do you get?
A: Compenbloodysation.

The Labour approach to o'besity is to advocate a Mary Poppins solution and urge everyone to take a spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down. And keep the fat-doctors in work?

O'besity Solved!
All the nation's fatties should be required by law to follow the Japanese Journey and eat using only chopsticks and/or fingers.

Israel's chief rabbi is complaining that the word genocide is being hijacked. "Intent to destroy all or part of a natural, ethnic, racial or religious group" is the formal definition. Killing 25,000 and counting of 2.5 million Gazans doesn't fit the bill?

A French ‘utility giant' reckons it has been put off investing in the UK because of a lack of opportunities to Xploit the most lucrative recycling scams.
42% of children under 7 miss out on a bedtime story because their parents chose not to learn how to read, a frustrated author has found.
The BMA is getting a booting for poking its nose into the Gaza situation, which has Net Zero to do with far-Left docs in the UK.

The Labour party doesn't have an Xplanation for why Bier Smarmer donated his services for free to the foreign terrorist Hizbut Tahir, which upset the German government of the Twenty Noughties mightily.
   Maybe someone should tell the Germans that Smarmer is a lawyer and he got cash out of it one way or another.

Smarmer's Vow:
Parasites & hangers on in the YewKay will never go short of TPM** with a Labour government in place.
[**TaxPayers' Money, Ed.]

The government has been accused of singing Rule, Britannia! whilst letting our defences & Armed Services crumble. This is not true. The far-Left wonks won't allow anyone to sing any patriotic Britisch song now.

Today’s Question:
Has anything inspired more death threats from nasty bastards than multiculturalism?

The police are so busy confecting non-crimes against innocent people that the Post Office criminals have nothing to worry about until @ least 2026. If then.

The bigger the wig, the more monstrous the lie
Surprise! Wee Burney Sturgeon bogged up locking her unfortunate subjects in for the Chinese plague.
   She made her house arrests more severe than the ones south of the border based on the myth that Scots are older & wonkier than their neighbours, and need HUGE cash subsidies from the Englisch.
   But now she's in the Sin Bin, her chief medical officer has also been booted up the bum for backing this claim.
   Why? Because proper research has found that the English are wonkier than the Scots and Wales has an older population.

No depth too deep to plumb
++ Smarmer declares war on Britisch culture ++ Promises to defend wokeists & hurl as much taxpayers' dosh into their Brown Holes as they can blow ++ Smarmer to rewrite our history, swapping Shame for any past Glory ++
“A Smarmer-led Britisch government will donate arms to the Houthis, the Hamas & the Talibandits? And invite Putinstan & China to walk all over us? Typical bloody lawyer.” Garth Excluser
“Bier Smarmer doesn't look like he has long to go as Labour honcho. Not if the party is being taken over by non-white, anti-white Islamist & Talibandit supporters, who hate everything Britisch.” S.O. Vash
“It is definitely not reasonable for the Labour party to pretend that slavery ended only last week and they put a stop to it. Just how stooopid are their supporters if they buy this sort of drek?” Taknit Easy

Take the Knee in Comfort!
Stupendously Padded!
Single kneeling pad or individual left & right strap-on knee pads
Every colour Xcept white
Thurston of Romiley, 42a Riverside Drive

Does it matter if Labour backs a cease fire in Gaza? Or total surrender to the Hamas by Israel? If no one in the Middle East is listening, WTFH.
   Same with the UN Court telling Israel to pack in the genocide in Gaza. Ears wide shut.

Thanks to an outbreak of Smarmerism, the RNLI is more concerned with making lifeboat crews a diverse mixture of taxi-service bods rather than mariners who are competent and able to rescue those in real peril on the sea rather than the self-inflicted variety.
And the Notional Truss has switched from preserving & celebrating Britain's extensive & magnificent heritage to trashing it.

Today’s Question:
Should those in the meeja & online who deal in mental poison be viewed in the same light as drug dealers, whose product is chemical poison?

The Twit of the Week Award goes without question to the Daily Disaster correspondent who was wondering what to tell an A.I. which asks about its gender.
   Gender applies only to biological entities, which A.I.s aren't. And if an A.I. did ask that question, it would have its defective programming wiped and replaced, and then be rebooted in an unSmarmered condition.
[Something a lot of humans are dire need of. Ed.]

Is anyone surprised that C. Lagarde is making a total bog of running the Youropeon Central Bank? Of course, not.
   She made a bog of being the French finance minister and of running the IMF. Why would anyone Xpect anything different in a different job?

WEEK 5    Putin the ‘moth’ into smothered

 
Could happen in Labour la-la land
Bier Smarmer & Sadgeek K'han't to make carrying a zombie knife compulsory in London for all those who insist on carrying around a pocket phone to cut down on the number of thefts?
“No VAT on zombie knives on production of a pocket phone to help things along?” Nofe Arkin

The whole lock-in mess in Scotland was a product of the SNP independence agenda & a desire to be seen to be doing something different from President Boris as an attention-getter for Wee Burney.
   Assessing Chinese plague responses for stupidity and vexatiousness for the Scottish people was not on the list. Health ishues were always subservient to political ones.
“No wonder Wee Burney deleted all her embarrassing messages.” Johns Teed

Q: Men checking their prostrate in response to King Chuck's publicity: does a plain criss-cross pattern count or do you need to end up with something resembling a tartan?
A: Depends how much time you have on your hands and how much of an Xhibitionist you are.
Q: What does a district council, e.g. South Cambridgeshire, get when it lets its minions do 4 days' work for 5 days' pay?
A: A massive bill for agency staff hired to do the 20% of the work that's not being done by the minions.
Q: What is a good way to put the British Transport Police back in their box when they try to bully you and confect a hate/rachelism incident around you?
A: Put the whole thing on ViewTube and Xpose the BTP wallahs concerned to mass ridicule.

Conference Championship: AFL
The Chiefs in Baltimore included the Chiefs making 4th & 2 in their opener, on to a TD pass to Kelce. The Ravens made a big gain on a 4th & 1. Scrambling QB, bomb to the end zone, TD, 7-all.
   KC drove into Q2, TD run after 4 minutes, 14-7. The Ravens fumbled the ball away. Stopped on 4th & a foot @ the BR 13! Holding, holding, FG in last seconds, 52 yards, 17-7.
   Defences ruled in Q3. A lot of Flowers for the Ravens, he dived for the end zone to start Q4 but lost the ball, touch-back. A pick in the KC end zone in the 9th minute stopped the Ravens in the 9th minute. They kicked a FG in the 13th minute, 17-10. And that's how it ended.

Another electric bus has gone up in flames in London. There is no answer to the problem on offer, of course. Other than just letting the bugger burn until it runs out of fuel.

Young Brits are too fat to be soldiers. Instead, the MoD is working on a system for dropping fat bastards from drone transporters onto Putinstani & other enemy troops to flatten them.

Conference Championship: NFL
The Lions in San Francisco started with a TD for the visitors. A missed 48-yard FG try in reply. Red zone for the Lions, to the SF 1, TD Montgomery, 14-0. Who but McCaffrey for a TD in Q2 and 14-7. A pick by the Lions got them back to the red zone, A TD for Gibbs, 21-7. Add a FG in the last seconds, 24-7.
   One back for the 49ers 4 minutes in to Q3, 24-10. Nearly a pick in the 11th minute but the ball bounced off the Detroit guy's face mask straight to the SF receiver to put the 49ers at & goal. TD from it, 24-17. The Lions fumbled the ball away. 1st & goal again, McCaffrey in, 24-all. A FG after 5 minutes put the 9ers 24-27 up.
   A pick and a comeback try by the Lions blew up on a 4th down. TD for Mitchell, 24-34. A TD for the Lions with a minute left, 31-34. SF ball from the short kick off. The End.
   Curious collapse by the Lions. Sleepers in the half-time tea?

NHS consultants have decided that another 20 grand on top of their ginormous salaries ain't enuff. So that's them leaping out on strike again.

How did the Met Office manage to confect a 20 deg.C January day in Scotland in support of the not-so-great global warmage fraud after all that rain & snow & ice? We should be told Xactly how the con trick was pulled off. By scammers sitting in the stocks, of course.
[A thermometer @ an airport in the jetwash of airliners? Ed.]

Hermit crabs which choose the enduring protection of a discarded plastic object as a shell substitute have enraged the Species Police. "How very dare they recycle human waste!" is the message of outrage.
   Even worse, the climate criminals among the meeja are putting this story with their gorbal warmage stuff, hoping that mugs will blame the crabs' inventiveness on that!

Some companies have hit on a really cute way to abolish the gender pay gap. They assign a worker's salary to whichever gender that person identifies as.
   Which makes the resulting totals completely meaningless and of no use to the Irate Cabal of Blame Bunchers.

The politics of political comparison:
D. Trump is a magnificent 12-course banquet and B. Smarmer is an economy size, fat-free, vegan mini-sausage roll.

“It's not possible to fund a Labour council 'coz no matter how much taxpayers' money they get, they'll find ways to squander it to zero value to the customers. Like Birmingham council and all the others that are going or have gone bankrupt.” X. Ershun

Today’s Proverb:
The road to public sector bankruptcy is paved with maladministration & bad intentions.

Some theatre companies are so desperate for attention that they have to resort to creating bogus trigger warnings for snoflakes. Such as the mob that cast an of colour actress in the lead female role [she was European Greek, Ed.] in William Shakespeare's historical drama Antony & Cleopatra and then issued a bogus warning about anti-black attitudes in the play.

10,000 children killed in Gaza in the last 4 months and 217 members of the Israeli Death Force (IDF).
“You have to wonder about the quality of the people Labour picks to be its MPs if one of them was trying to blame the deaths of all the people killed by the Israelis in Gaza on our prime monster. Totally brain-dead dooshank.” Onther Horizon

Q: Is a 191-year-old giant tortoise that's living on St. Helena likely to remember meeting our previous king and his daughter Elizabeth back in 1947 when meeting a current Royal? Or is this just journalistic BS?
A: It's elephants, not tortoises, which are reputed never to forget.
Q: How authentic is the phrase "wee jobbie muppet"?
A: It would appear to be totally lacking in any form of authenticity.
Q: So using it in any desired context can be done without attracting objections from pedant's?
A: Given the vexatious nature of some pedant's, especially the apostrophizer's, that's not a given.

Measles productivity in Yourope grew from 941 cases in 2022 to 42,200 cases in 2023.

An Anniversary to Remember
Today, January 31st, is International Whiteness Appreciation Day.
[Which is invariably abused by omission. Ed.]

The US and the UK are among a gaggle of countries which have stopped funding the UN agency offering aid to Palestinians in Gaza on the basis of an Israeli charge that 12 of the 13,000 UN staff in the enclave were on the side of the Hamas @ the time of the October 7th massacre.
A UK government spokes claimed that we remain committed to getting aid to Gaza but failed to Xplain how this will happen if there is no cash on offer.
26,000 Palestinians dead in Gaza and 150+ UN relief agency staff and 89 media staff, many due to Israeli attacks on their outposts .

Today's Observation:
Revisionists or Divisionists? It's always the latter when the far-Left is involved in another massacre of the historical record.

We know a blatant swindle when we see one
Four Rwandans getting asylum here is just the usual suspects gaming the system, like they do. The whole lot of them; bogus refugees, lawyers and asylum granters; should be deported to Siberia without the option.

Both ends covered—End 1
Why is there a knife crime & other crimes epidemic? Because young people have no boundaries & moral standards and older people fail to police and educate them, and smack them down hard & often when they go off the rails.

Both ends covered—End 2
Marriage & its civil equivalent are going out of fashion, we have been assured. The number of people in these types of relationship is now below 50% of those eligible & falling.
   A lack of a 2-parent, stable home is being blamed for the rise in the number of feral, violent kids.

More attention-seeking
An American professor is getting a good booting for claiming that only she knows how to make a cup of tea and no one on this side of the pond is up to the job.
   She reckons tea should be made with a shake of salt to remove bitterness and warm milk that forms a scum on the surface. Which is garbage.
   Tea bag in the mug, boiling water, leave for long enuff to infuse, give the teabag a squeeze then discard and add milk from a glass bottle which has been basking in the fridge.
   Either that or finish off with a teaspoon of honey and a glug of lemon juice.
The US embassy in London, where a microwave oven rather than a kettle is used to heat the water for tea, has disowned the lady professor completely to avoid being burnt to the ground by a mob of either angry tea-drinkers or Islamists claiming that tea is their territory.

Today's Amazing Fact:
The chances of being executed for the most blatant and well-documented crime in the whole history of the universe are of the same order as those of being abducted by evil aliens if the foul deed is done in the Untied States.

Opposition MPs, eh!
Bier Smarmer's levelling up spokes has been accused of hoovering up too much booze in the Commons' taxpayer-subsidized bar. Why else would he have been demanding to know how many people born during or after April 2016 are claiming pension credit?
   Egon mush time for J. Madders when it was explained to him that his client group are all at least 60 years away from qualifying for the state pension.

Today's Question:
Is there any police farce in England & Wales which hasn't referred itself to the toothless watchdog for being crap? That's lethally crap, in some cases.

Below the line mission statement: Some of the above is true. BFN is recognized as a premiere class observational blog and a multiple winner of the OB of the Year award.
   We are constantly exposed to dodgy conclusions drawn from dodgy data by the 'experts', especially those found in the world of politics and especially those at the Treasury and in opposition and running trade unions.
   Some of us civilians at BFN like to join in to let them know that anyone can do it and we ain't impressed by their efforts.

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Created for Romiley Anarchists' League by workers in revolt against oppression to set the record straight in the 3rd millennium. © RAL, January MM24 like anyone cares.