“Maybe they are Titans compared to the current Labour crew. But on a scale of inches rather than miles. Ants compared to the mythical, once mighty Titans, who were giants relative to 'uman beans.” Bellia Cose
Q: What do you get if you use your job as a nurse as a way to get to and kill babies?
A: A cell with an en suite bathroom, a TV and a phone in a private gaol; probably on Letsbe Avenue.
External force required
Erand of Mercy, episode 26 of series 1 of the original Star Trek, should be compulsory viewing for everyone involved in the Israel-Hamas war, however peripherally.
That's compulsory in the 24/7 sense—with their eyelids chocked open like Little Alex's in the Clockwork Orange film until they see sense.
Where are the Organians when you need them?
Korean Fish Croquets (KFC) are getting the blame for the o'besity egermency.
Also in the firing line—Turkeys are in trouble for doing cut-price risky bum-lifts.
Propping up the damage to the fabric of the nation caused by the o'besity egermency costs £100,000,000,000 per year.
Question of the Week: "What Xactly does making something a major incident involve? Everyone can stand on the sidelines and wait till it becomes minor enuff for them to handle?"
A Smarmer government would abolish the state pension to splurge the cash on things of benefit to its supporters?
The Snackstabber thinks the state pension is 11.25% too high and he will reduce it appropriately if he's still there in 2025?
“Which state pension is that? The Osborne swindle
or the old state pension, which is 2 grand per year less?” Manty Core
Lincoln's mayor (Labour) has cancelled the city's 4-day Xmas market, which was started in 1982 and used to generate a healthy income for an area with declining footfall.
The name of the mayor is Biff Bean, which many are reading as an instruction rather than an appellation.
Q: Is it a secret that Sir A. Conan Doyle resented the success of his detective creation, S. Holmes, and would rather have written more serious historical fiction?
A: Not to anyone who has been paying attention.
Q: Then why would anyone make the claim?
A: To plug a TV show.
Having ordered Palestinians in the north of Gaza to bug out or be bombed to bitz, Israel is now bombing the fucq out of their refuges in the south. 24,000 dead Palestinians for 1,200 dead Israelis?
Silence is revealing
If Hapless Hairy isn't prepared to call Mhegan's creature Scabie a liar, then he's in league with him too. And if he doesn't like that conclusion, it's up to him to do something about it.
Back the bugger or ditch him.
The inconvenience of truth
The climate criminals are stamping their little feet 'coz the COP28out president, Dr. Gom-Jabur, has let the cat out of the bag. "Preventing the use of fossil fuels," he revealed, "will take the world back into caves."
Something for us all to look forward to.
The smart money is gushing into the caves market.
The power output gap due to underperforming UK windmills is @ a record level due to the wind not blowing in cold conditions when demand for electrictiy was maximal.
Left-wing loonies are claiming that the nuclear site @ Sellafield in Cumbria is under constant cyber-attack by our enemies. No evidence of who & when or even 'if ever' is on offer, though.
A survey has declared that the word of the year for snoflakes is 'rizz', which is believed to be a mishearing of the word 'razz', as in 'razzing someone up', said by someone with a 'posh' accent.
If made prime monster, Biery Smarmer will borrow vast amounts of cash to pay off Xisting government debt. This is the bloke who claims he would be Thatcherite.
[Pay off a monstrous debt by creating a different one? How very New Labour. Maybe our beery friend should start claiming to be a reincarnation of Gordon F. Broon. Ed.]
Q: Why is Bier Smarmer such a tool?
A: His dad was a tool-maker.
The Met Office is in trouble for colourism by abusing the term Yellow Rain as the latest death, doom, disaster warning. The protest from the Chinese embassy was almost immediate! They are clearly very worried about getting the blame.
[Yellow rain is a chemical warfare agent used in the Vietnam war era. Ed.]
“One advantage of Bier Smarmer getting to be our next prime monster is that we won't have to waste any time wondering if he's an idiot and not up to the job. We'll know for sure right from day one that he is an idiot with a lot in common with the captain of the good ship Venus.” L.G.R.
Dark days ahead
The deputy PM, O. Dowden, is warning customers to stock up with emergency candles & batteries for radios in case the wheels come off the alternative to energy scam, the wind stops blowing and the windmills generate Net Zero power and we have a no lights and a no internet scenario.
On the Positive Side, however, no internet will make life very difficult for the cyber criminals in China, Iran, Putinstan & other enemy countries to hack our MPs and others they think might be amusing.
Q: Why did Scabie, the bloke who couldn't even lie straight in bed, have to make up a loada stuff about the Royals?
A: Because he doesn't know anyone other than MtM & HH with insider knowledge.
The looney left asylum fraud industry has racked up the cost of the Rwanda Xport plan to £240 MILLION.
The world sighs in gratitude as Vlad, the hijo de Putin, offers to serve as Putinstan's President for Life for another term.
How would we manage without him?
[Probably surprisingly well, Ed.]
The usual suspects are doing usual whinges but there was no point in the UK voting for a ceasefire in Gaza @ the UN Security Council as the motion was always going to be cancelled by the Untied States. The abstention by us was therefore as meaningless as an aye or nay.
And the usual suspects know that.
But when have they ever let facts get in the way of a usual whinge?
Q: What does the government do to make auntie-social meeja companies make an effort to zap the scams on their platform?
A: Give them six months to clean up their act instead of 6 seconds.
The Daily Disaster was making a big deal out of 30 towns & villages that are at risk of going bankless in 2024. Romiley did it ages ago—in March of 2019—and no bugger gave a rotten rattenkranz then.
A bit bloody late now
If that Jenrick bloke thought there are too many migrants to integrate into our society when he was immigration minister, why didn't he get up and yell it from the rooftops? Or at least do some indiscreet leaks if he had to pretend to be part of Cabinet unity?
“And why aren't all the other ministers yelling about the obstruction of the snivel service & ditching the dozy bastards?” Con Strict
Could hardly do worse
The Daily Mirror got a good kicking for pretending there's a massive row going on over pictures of N. Farage which are obviously fakes knocked up with computer wizardry.
Everyone knows the pix are fakes, so there is no actual row.
Where do the looney left bitz of the meeja get the clowns who come up with drek like this?
“Just as prebloodythetic as the Daily Mirror front page rant about the apology President Boris did at the Chinese plague circus and the rumpussing there by the attention-seekers.” Am Persand
Another daft story is that the Chinese plague has created a Santa shortage. Bollocks. Intolerant wokery has made blokes of the age group that usually does the job decide it's not worth all the hassle they get from people who are basically scumbags.
“How come the transbro legions are not leaping forward to fill the gap?” Din Ergiva
They need to call the Chinese plague circus something other than an inquiry if the people running it have a scenario worked out and all they're doing is looking for stuff from useful idiots to back it up.
And the court jester, Kieffy, trotting out known myths as facts isn't helping one little bit.
Other countries have already held & completed an inquiry. Why is the one here going to drag on to the end of this decade? Is that how long it will take to bury inconvenient evidence that doesn't fit in with the foregone conclusion?
And there's also the small matter of shoving £400 MILLION of taxpayers' dosh into legal pockets.
Homosexualism is facing Xtinction, the people making money out of it have been horrified to realize. It's all due to children who like their like being told they are transpicaters and being thrust into the hands of the sex–change industry.
Q: What blows £750,000 per day of taxpayers' money on legal stooges?
A: The Chinese plague circus.
Q: Did retailers spend £126 BILLION on card processing fees last year?
A: No, it was their customers who had to cough up the cash.
Q: Are the Israeli 'tank girls' really taking on Hamas, as advertised?
A: Hamas—tunnel dwellers. Tanks—charging about on the surface, blowing apartment buildings to bitz. It's doubtful whether they're ever within the proverbial million miles of each other.
Q: Will the Rwanda Bill stay within The Law?
A: Yes, if the government does due diligence on what The Law is to make it accommodate the Rwanda Bill.
Q: What do you get if you steal £130K from the estate agency where you work?
A: All together now: "Bloody away with it!"
Minimizing Xmas
A firm claiming it will help snoflakes to celebrate Xmas responsibly has made some crackers that don't crack to allow those pulling them to vocalize a 'pop'; or not; if they want to save The Planet from gorbal warmage.
There are no bright colours on the outer wrapping of the crackers, of course, to avoid testing snoflake eyesight to destruction. The wrappings are all a matt, pale brownish grey with off-white, dull stars.
Many local councils are also craptivating Xmas by installing in a public place, a skinny tree outfitted with lights which look like they were thrown at it as an afterthought. The alibi is that the skinny trees are saving The Planet, something which decent size trees can't do.
The Green Bay Packers vs the New Jersey Giants
It's cold. The Giants missed a FG try after 10 minutes. GB blew up on 4th & 1? Nope. On to a TD after 14 minutes. The Giants got level 3 minutes in to Q2. Lots of defence. Love threw a pick with 4 minutes to half time. No damage. A FG in the last minute put GB 10-7 ahead.
A fumble gave the ball to the Giants in Q3, on to a TD, 10-14. A botched punt reception gave GB another FG, 13-14. Another TD for the Giants with just over a minute left in Q3, 13-21. A sack in Q4 led to a missed FG try by GB. GB got close again, FG, 16-21. A fumble gave the ball to GB! To the NJG 6, TD, no +1, 22-21. Just over a minute left. The Giants zoomed to FG range. 22-24. Crap.
The primary Thing The Gorbal Warmage Swindlers Don't Want Us To Know is that 97% of the carbon dioxide going into the atmosphere comes from the natural world and is outwith the control of the 'uman race.
The other 3% comes from human sources. The UK contributes 1% of this 3%, i.e. 0.03% of global emissions. Which is completely and utterly insignificant by any standard.
[Except those imposed by climate criminals, who are enriching themselves @ the expense of the rest of us. Ed.]
Scam Warning
The Royal Mail is being accused of stashing letters & Xmas cards in bins so that it can concentrate on delivering parcels, which are what it makes the real money out of.
Not posted early for Xmas? Forget it. You're too late now, is the message.
Attention all Stonehenge Fans
Forget the Summer Solstice. The site is set up for the Winter Solstice, which falls on Friday the 22nd of this month. The Sun sets behind the Heel Stone on the shortest day and does definitely not rise behind it on the longest day.
Be there or be somewhere else.
[Just don't expect to get there by train, the buggers will be on strike. Ed.]
Esso petrol 139.9p/litre.
Esso diesel 149.9p/litre.
Thank The Mugger? Yeah, right.
Former Chancellor & PM G.F. Broon is blagging credits for helping to set up multibanks to hand household essentials; food, bedding, furniture, etc.; to poor families.
That's families which are poor because of the GINORMOUS national debt which Broon inflicted on the nation with his reckless spending when in office, for which we are still awaiting an apology.
A debt Everest from which the nation never recovered before the Chinese plague continued Broon's work of financial destruction.
The Big Problem with the Chinese plague is that no one had a working crystal ball when it arrived and no one knew what to Xpect in terms of badness & the rest.
Which is just a statement of The Bleeding Obvious? Try telling that to the the legal stooges who are Xpecting to cop for £400 MILLION for pretending to investigate the response to the plague for a bloody DECADE.
What is so brilliant about unpopulism that makes the rise of its reverse; populism; in Europe so terrifying?
We should be told.
“The unpopulists in Holland must be real dooshanks if a populist party winning 37 of of 150 parliamentary seats put them in a flat spin.” Fortified Johnson
Lethally cute
The Hamas have come up with an interesting counter to the Israeli refusal to take part in another cease-fire in Gaza. All the remaining prisoners from the October 7th attack will be parked in areas which are being bombed to bitz so that they are killed by the Israelis.
Another Royal Mail rip-off: If you get a letter/Xmas card without a barcode on the stamp, that's a 5-quid fine for the thieving bastards.
Only swindles allowed on both sides of the Atlantic
A federal court in Washington (USA) has ordered Donald Trump, former & would be again US president, not to make disparaging remarks about the kangaroos, who are trying to claim he plotted to subvert the 2020 presidential election.
It seems that having their machinations Xposed is crippling the efforts of the kangaroos when they try to railroad The Donald into jail on the basis of what they want to be true rather than actual evidence.
Yet another Posturing Pete
Scotland's First Meenister, Humbug Useless, got a booting in the Sunday Post letters column for having a jolly to the COP28out in Dubai when he is not a world leader, just the head of one of the components of the UK.
He's obviously not that bothered about killing The Planet with unnecessary air travel.
“Maybe he was trying to avoid having to Xplain why parking on the pavement was made illegal in Scotland 4 years ago but nothing has been done about enforcement. And one-third of Scotland's 32 local authorities haven't had the box ticked that would let them enforce the new law.” Prof. Ishent
Is there something he’s not telling us?
Labour's ancient clown Corporal Underpants claims that he feels threatened by the opposition shown by the Equalities Minister, K. Badenoch, to the sex-change industry being the port of first resort for confused teenagers.
Everyone is wondering why. Unless, of course, it's just more attention seeking by someone notorious for it.
Q: How are eggs served in the dish Eggs Benedict?
A: Treacherously. [Something for the Snackstabber to remember with a party as full of petty Benedicts as Labour. Ed.]
How to lose a propaganda war
If this is the way the Israelis treat Palestinian blokes; tie them up, steal their clothes and line them up for humiliating photos; no wonder everyone hates them from the river to the sea and back again.
NHS strikers have wasted £2,000,000,000 of the health service budget.
Ta, for that.
Magic alibi
The costa living crisis is due to gorbal warmage and nothing will get better until there has been gorbal coolage. Which means there's nothing the government need do right now. The customers will just have to put up with this and every other fashionable egermency until coolage rulz.
Something to cheer up Xmas?
How about a survey by a hospital in London, which found that 40% of their respondents had managed to damage themselves when engaging in activities associated with the Festering Season.
Strains, sprains, broken bones, cooking related burns and falling out of a loft are all on the list. Plus tripping over anything convenient when tipsy. Or not!
Are we a nation of clumsy buggers?
Don’t vote, it only encourages them
When are the Tories going to stop twatting about? is the question of the moment. The Labour party is clueless & a buncha total effin deadlegs. If the Tories can't get their act together over the Rwanda plan—a country that's safe enuff for tourists from the UK to visit—then they are as useless as Labour and can be discarded as just as worthless.
Do we need a government if the choice is between two parties which are both crap? Finding out for sure looks like something worth doing.
Definitely Schmeducation
The dire state of morale @ Britisch universities is highlighted by Bristol University's failure to give the hammer & tack to an elderly emeritus professor, who clearly no longer has any merit.
She was inviting someone to do the world a favour and blow up a Jewish conference to be held in January as she's solid [between the ears? Ed.] Labour. The university is looking the other way.
The snivel service is demanding 5 days' pay for a 4-day week, led by staff @ the Enviromint Agency. The Minister, S. Barclay, is claimed to be minded to tell them to fucq off, but as he's a Tory, he's not Xactly trustworthy.
“This is deferably something Bier Smarmer's crew would wish on us in return for subs from the snivel servants' trade union.” Five P'tank
Ofsted, the schools inspector, has blood on its hands—official. That's the conclusion of a coroner, who presided over the death of a head teacher after she was treated callously & inhumanely by the crew which ‘inspected' her school.
The destruction of UseLEZ cameras with improvised Xplosive devices is not being treated as terrorism by police farces. The response seems to be along the lines of an equivalent of justifiable homicide applied to the cameras as they are just money-making gadgets operated by corrupt & grabbing politicians.
Q: What blows £750,000 per day of taxpayers' dosh on legal stooges?
A: That can only be the Chinese plague circus.
Public Service Announcement He's been called the Blogger of the Decade
His intellect is matched only by the size of his luck and the size of his bank balance. And yet he manages to keep his Feet On The Ground with the greatest of ease. Do yourself a favour and find out what Xavier has had to say about what's going on Right Now! |
More inconvenient truth
Lord Sharpe has pressed the ‘sensible' button by pointing out that the £240 million spent or about to be spent on the Rwanda plan amounts to just one month's hotels for all the illegals who are camping here. It's peanuts compared to the £4 BILLION per year plus lawyers' fees that illegals are costing us.
“If the Tory party as a whole won't buy his Rwanda plan for Xporting illegals, the Snackstabber should tell them ‘sod the lot of you', quit as an MP and therefore the party leader, and go off to spend more time with his hundreds of millions. That's what a man of principle would do.” Bjorn Yesterday
“If he doesn't shove off in a huff [or a minute and a huff! Ed.], that will just serve to remind us that principles & integrity don't apply to the bloke who stabbed President Boris in the back to get his job. Stay put if the Rwanda plan is sunk next year and stay tainted.” Cash McGash
“None of which makes the alternative any more attractive. How come Bier Smarmer hasn't been busted for boozing in public and defying assembly numbers when the Chinese plague was rampant? Or did that apply only to Tories? Well, yes, of course it did if the police were, and remain, signed up members of the ludicrous left establishment.” C. Onfection
Today’s piece of political wisdom
Politics is the art of turning a simple & sensible course of action into something ruinously expensive & plain stoopid.
What Xactly is the ‘Tory Right’?
Is it a collection of MPs who believe in a small state & low taxes & a minimum of obstructive legislation? Or just a generic insult hurled @ a gang of obstructionists who are doing it just because they can and they resent not being in charge?
“Is it just a term of abuse for those who don't belong to the generic ludicrous left?” Dogson Dinner
Scotland's First Meenister, Humbug Useless, has been accused of endorsing the Turkish president's support for the notion that the Hamas are freedom fighters against a terrorist Israeli state.
Does Humbug represent the UK when he does his jollys abroad? Nope.
Is he a wrong 'un? Yup.
Twice as many parasites; 90,000 of the buggers; did the COP28out in sunny Dubai than the one in driech Glasgow, COP26out.
Well, wot a surprise!
The working men's club in Cleethorpes is going to drop all reference to men in its name and elsewhere to avoid putting women off. But why would that matter if it's a club for men? Or are they too puddled to get such a complicated caveat?
++ Scabie forced to admit he was lying about not naming & sleazing Royals on behalf of Mhegan the Mucilod ++ No one surprised ++
Fantasy Island has a rival
The Chinese plague circus has a court jester who claims he has a brain the size of a planet. But Kieffy is no Marvin, the Paranoid Android.
His fondness for offering drek as data when performing for the circus suggests his personal planet is as devoid of intelligent life as somewhere like Mercury; or one of those supergiants that astronomers have spotted whizz round their primary in a few days.
Clobbering Time!
That was some match between the LA Raiders and the Bolts on the US Thursday. 6 TDs for the Raiders in front of their home crowd in the first half. Nowt for the Bolts, who kept giving the ball away. 7-56 after three quarters, then the Bolts woke up a bit. Two TDs for them in Q4, another for the Raiders, 21-63 final.
Esso petrol 139.9p/litre.
Esso diesel 147.9p/litre.
COP28out Facts:
1. The climate criminals who were living it up in Dubai were batting around in electric vehicles charged with electricity generated by using natural gas, which is what the locals make their zillions out of as well as oil.
2. The wheels have come off the COP crap. The junkets for climate criminals, begun in 1995, have achieved Net Zero in terms of reducing levels of atmospheric carbon dioxide.
3. Thanks to a flourishing natural world and the lesser contributions from China, India, America, etc., the level is rising slowly. But that won't stop the swindlers from continuing their junkets @ the Xpense of everyone else ad infinitum.
4. COP28out has confirmed that 198 countries will never reach a meaningful agreement on anything. The climate swindlers have got everyone to agree to move away from the use of fossil fuels. No timetable is on offer, natch, so nothing need be done.
5. 2023 is the hottest year for 120,000 years? Bollocks. The data is not available.
If the Snackstabber PM, Sue Knack, is backing up President Boris' account of how the DoomBugger Doctors buggered about and changed their minds and got the evidence and therefore their advice hopelessly wrong at times, that's clear proof that the cnuts running the Chinese plague circus are doing their Boris-bashing in pursuit of a political agenda rather than an account of what really happened behind the scenes of government.
Diversity kills. Failing to let stunt persons use make-up to look like a star in a motion picture results in people of the same ethnicity attempting stunts they're not trained to do or even capable of surviving. And this is killing people.
Diversity also robs the taxpayer. Despite claims that it is opposing woke culture, the government is letting senior snivel servants bump up their bonuses by wasting time & our money on promoting diversity and other useless crap.
Torquay council has joined the ranks of climate criminals by chopping down dozens of the town's iconic & tourist attraction palm trees to prevent the site from reaching it's 100th anniversary of the 1924 planting project.
Advertisement
The ULTIMATE Xmas stocking filler
The customizeable political boggo rollo!
Your message with a picture of your guy
[Putin the ‘mess’ into message, Ed.]
Romiley Gifts, 44c Riverside Drive |
A.I.s are destined to become the X-ray checkers of the future as they pay attention 100% of the time and they are not programmed with the irrational biases which contaminate human doctors.
Mhegan the Muciloid's charity is going bust as donations dry up.
The Political Dream Ticket: gary bloody lineker as PM and Bier Smarmer as his deputy & Minister with Special Responsibility for claiming that gbl is his bestest mate.
Real terms wage growth has remained static since Gordon F. Broon let the banks go bust in 2008, sez the Centre for Social Justice think tanq.
Q: What do you do when a diamond ring that cost $750,000 vanishes from a room @ the Ritz hotel in Paris?
A: Round up all the vacuum cleaners and search them!
Sherie offers seasonal cheer
“gbl would appear to be a case of senile ego inflation. The only cure would be to have his hand Xtracted forcibly from the taxpayer's pocket.” Nome Ansland
“If a bearded bloke puts a wig on and claims to be a woman, even if he can't be arsed to shave the beard off, do we have to take him seriously? Or even pretend to?” Din Gdup
[Only if he's standing next to you holding a sawn-off shotgun with eyes aglow with the cold fire of madness. Ed.]
“Isn't that the title of a book by an RLC author?” Whim Beldon
[The Cold Fire Of Madness (1991) was written by RLC author Philip H. Turner, Ed.]
“You know you're wasting your time if the judge thinks Omit Scabie, condemned fantasist, is a reliable witness.” M.U. Layt
Mad, Bad and Profligate
The forces of evil @ the Arts Council are blowing our money on courses to teach stooges how to unlearn whiteness. To be replaced by what? A dodgy shade of grey? Or a chocolaty hue which demonstrates an affinity for those with ancestors from warmer climes?
Hunt the Stunt, our current Chancellor, is supposed to be jumping all over this sort of BS in the snivel service. Sounds like he needs to broaden his remit to include all parasites who are lunching off the taxpayer one way or another.
“No doubt Bier Smarmer will insist on 50% of the snivel service doing diversity crap if he gets to be PM so that he can waste even more TPM on stuff of Net Zero value to the people coughing up the cash 'coz that's the Labour way.” Thred Bear
So why are Those People so keen on them?
Migrants & traffickers are getting the blame for increasing the death toll from the Chinese plague unnecessarily by creating overcrowding & population clusters where mutations of the plague occurred which would not have arisen in the native population.
A woman holding up a sign saying: "Boris killed my father" among the mob of attention seekers outside the Chinese plague circus confirms that we are still a very long way of being an intelligent society.
COP28out Conclusion: Fossil fuels will be history, but not until well into the 23rd century. If then.
M. Wokeford, the useless bugger who's the Welsh Ssennedd figurehead, is quitting before his catalogue of uselessness gets any HUGER.
COP28out Sensation: Fossil fuels are to be converted to transpicaters to make them okay. The use of trans-fossil fuels is set to become compulsory on penalty of totally eye-watering fines for failing to obey this law.
Sir P. Violence's Chinese plague diary is to be kept secret to avoid confusing the public with the differences between what he has claimed on various occasions during the last several years and actual facts.
COP28out has been written off as an absolute circus of hippocrisy.
Everything, but absobloodylutely everything in Wales is worse now than it was when Wokeford parked his bum on the driving seat.
“About all Wales has in abundance is alibis for failing in everything, throwing cash @ lawyers, wokery & stuff like that. All down to the rotten English not giving them ten times what they're worth as cash subs instead of the twice they get now.” Godbo O'tour
Problem solved?
Some wiseguy writing in the Daily Disaster offered paying the Jr.Dox what they are worth as a good way to end the strikes.
Which would be what? About 35p each.
Worth a try.
The Greens are hoping to wish more female MPs on us by sticking a wig on a transister bloke, offering him as a candidate in an election & claiming that gets the job done.
Anyone who spots the deception & blabs about it is liable to be showered with nasty & rude comments by the usual suspects and their adherents.
If you're daft enuff to have an Apple phone, you will be charged 30% more than you need to pay as a mark-up for using the crApps. Why? Because Apple can.
Despite gorbal warmage, it's -40 deg.C in northern China and no climate clowns at all are doing protests there.
“Is it polite to remind the world that King Chuck, when he was just a prince, told us in 2009 that the world would go into climate collapse in 100 months, and this didn't happen in 2017?” Anim 8
In office, Labour would raise the cost of the Rwanda Xport plan to £500 MILLION and then cancel it even if it's working a treat? Just how much bier has Mr. Smarmer been scoffing recently?
“Anyone surprised that a lawyer is a self-confessed people's smugglers' best friend? Nope?” 4 M'Casid
++ Hapless Hairy makes £140K out of foe nacking ++ Judge finds Scabie a credible witness!!! ++ Cue a winning appeal by Mirror Group Newspapers? ++
Would you like Valium with that?
One of the Big Questions of the moment is how did snoflakes become so prethetic that they can't order a meal in a restaurant because they're too shy, and they prefer it if someone else talks to the waiter & picks an auntie-social media meal favourite on their behalf.
Q: What twists the knife in the wound of the Israeli army killing 3 Hamas prisoners?
A: The three people who were shot were holding a white flag.
“Mr. Net&Yahoo promised to bring the prisoners home. In a box wasn't mentioned.” Exoner 8
“Is the reason why the Israelis are hated from the River to the Sea that they've stolen enough Arab land to join the two?” S.O. Vash
“Those Israeli soldiers thought three people who were shirtless to show they weren't wearing bomb belts and didn't have guns were Hamas gunmen? That's a 'shoot first and get away with it' rule of engagement.” Vex A. Schuß
The Buccaneers in Green Bay
Tampa Bay were sacked to a FG. GB got to a 4th & 2 @ the TB 4; out on downs. Crap. But they scked Mayfield @ the TB 4, on to a TD, 3-7. TB went ahead with a TD in the 3rd minute of Q2, 10-7. An equalizer FG by GB after 8 minutes. The GB offence screwed up with successive delays of game. TB ended the half with a FG and 13-10,
A TD after 4 minutes of Q3 put the Bucs 20-10 ahead. A TD for GB after 11 minutes gave the crowd something to cheer, 20-17. A pylon dive gave TB a TD at the end of the quarter, 27-17. GB kicked a FG 5 minutes in to Q4, 27-20. Swiss cheese gave Moore a 52 yard TD pass, 34-20. That's it. Especially after Love fumbled the ball to TB. Who ran out the clock. Crap.
Woko Bunko
Unilever is getting a good booting for greenwashing & making ludicrous claims about its products. Such as its salad cream saves The Universe from harm and its soap lets women wash away misogyny. What its ice cream does to save the enviromint is truly mindboggling!
Q: What do you get if you're a FakeBuk diversity manager?
A: $4 million from scams no one noticed.
The house building trade has the hump with the Housing Sec., M. Gove, who has stopped them from despoiling the Green Belt and from building on prime agricultural land.
Manchester's cosmetic mayor, Jonah Burnham, has been forced to abandon plans to steal from motorists & businesses with clean air zone scams of the sort operated by Sadgeek K'han't in London.
The Notional Crime Agency has decided that FakeBuk is no longer safe for kids to use. News Flash—it's been like that for yonks but no bugger has been bovvered about it.
Titan or Tit?
Bier Smarmer certainly goes in for wonderful best mates. O.J. Corbynstein was booted out of Labour when it was convenient for Smarmer. M. Wokeford, "a Titan of politics", was booted out for showing the world what life beyond Wales would be like if Labour ever gets to be the government again.
COP28out achieved Net Zero! That's as far as doing away with coal-fired power stations and searching for new gas & oil deposits are concerned.
The World breathes a sigh of relief.
About the only positive for the junket is an increase in the guess @ the number of parasites who were in Dubai. It was 70,000, it became 90,000, it is now 98,000.
Despite denials from the IOF, Israel is believed to be targetting journalists with drone strikes in Gaza to prevent them from telling the world what is really going on there.
The wheels have come off? Change the scenario!
The latest line on the Rwanda Xport plan is that it will have no effect on stopping illegal entrants and it's just a piece of meaningless political BS of the sort that politicians waste years of time at our expense, and BILLIONs of taxpayer pounds, on wrangling over rather than doing anything useful.
As proof of this proposition, the Xperts offered the fact that the snivel service is dragging its feet over 130,000 asylum applications; most of them bogus; and only a few hundred of the people involved will be sent to Rwanda.
Which has been designated a safe country by the Untied Nations Organization's cash-gobblers.
It has taken the Northumbria police farce until now to decide that the lumberjack they busted, who obviously didn't chop down the iconic Sycamore Gap tree @ Hadrian's Wall, actually didn't do it. The real perp seems to remain in no danger of arrest.
The Polis of the Metrolopis are currently ignoring two-thirds of complaints of theft from shops & stores.
The Britisch Army is having to abandon selection boards to fill up its officer training courses with sufficient stooges. Diversity requirements are getting the blame for the collapse of standards.
The Chinese plague circus has paid £137,000 to a manuscript Xpert for an opinion & verification of a quatrain by Nostradamus which predicts the arrival of the Chinese plague in Europe and loads the blame on to President Boris.
The Labour party is planning a Covid Corruption Committee, the trade union boss Christmas McAcne has announced. Its object will be to ensure that cash swindled from the taxpayer via Chinese plague PPE and other scams is redistributed to Labour supporting organizations & individuals.
Hey! Hey! striking for pay!
How many will you kill today?
Esso petrol 136.9p/litre.
Esso diesel 146.9p/litre.
Not Xactly Stormageddon
That volcano on the Reykjanes peninsula of south-west Iceland has finally popped off as a ribbon of fire over 3 km long. But it's a busted flush compared to the air travel-ending one in 2010.
The locals did some reflex panicking when the fun started on the evening of the second Monday of this month, but they soon realized it was "Calm down, dear!" time and nothing terrible was going to happen.
Death by a Million Cuts
The Glasgow UseLEZ scam is doing a grand job of slashing the footfall in the centre of Scotland's first city. Traders are Xperiencing the worst festering season period in living memory as motorists say "Naaa!" to having their pocket picked by Humbug Useless.
The SNP regime feels obliged to introduce a Scottish 45% income tax rate to fill some of the Brown Hole in the budget caused by the UseLEZ dodgers.
Just to ram the stake a bit further up Glasgow city council's fundament, petrol prices are @ their lowest level for a couple of years, encouraging motorists to drive a bit further elsewhere and delay the council's campaign to steal a million pounds in UseLEZ fines by the end of the year.
“Net&Yahoo's problem with giving in to the demands for a cease-fire in Gaza is that if everything grinds to a halt there, his next stop is a corruption trial. Same if he kills all the Palestinians there or Nagorno's Gaza's Karabakh and turns it into an Empty Quarter.” Arne Schluß
“Even worse, the regime in the Untied States is getting severely antsy about the size of the bill for rebuilding all the hospitals, schools, housing, etc. in Gaza that was destroyed by the munitions the Yanks slid to Israel.” G.E. Schloßen
Hazard Warning
The disgustingly pongy Highland cheese from Scotland, the Minger, has to be sold with 4 sets of nose filterplugs to discourage pukage by those estupido enough to consume it & share it.
Today’s Questions:
1. Is it possible for gbl to damage the reputation of the BierBC further?
2. Are the tattered shreds of BierBC's current reputation worth anything?
3. How Xmasy is it to go to Norway to watch reindeer being hunted & killed?
Q: How many BierBC licences are needed to pay for gbl jugears?
A: 8,490.
“What gbl needs to do is stick on a blonde wig, claim to be a woman and ask Labour or the Greens to make him an MP.” Amil O. Rate
O'besity now puts three times more people in hospital than smoking
Auntie-social meeja are actively promoting fat bastard activists as normal & acceptable.
Labour is getting a kicking for refusing to give Freddie Gizzard a shot at Parliament in the next general election. Brighton didn't want a bloke in a frock on its ticket.
Hey! Hey! striking for pay!
How many more written off yesterday?
The Met Office has issued a warning about Yellow Winds for today. Customers are advised to hunker in their bunker and have a day off. Which the WFH skivers would be doing anyway, of course.
“There has to be a way of making Strike @ Home work on a Yellow Wind Day. All it would take is a really twisted skiver's imagination.” Peer Steers
The Grub of Gusto
The ‘in' accessory for Xmas, according to the National Consumer Survey, is Yorkshire puddings stuffed with diced turkey. They can be consumed on their own as breakfast, lunch or a late-nite snack, or as the centre-piece of dinner with roast potatoes & mixed veg. Xcluding sprouts, of course!
Also on offer is the YorkPudd Meal consisting of a large pudding stuffed with chips followed by another filled with jelly or trifle.
Q: Is the BierBC right to call the Snackstabber a member of the far-right?
A: Compared to the ludicrous leftness of the BierBC, Mother Theresa was far-right.
Diversity trumps ability
The insurance company Aviva is applying positive discrimination to avoid recruiting white blokes for senior jobs. Only those who are different from the majority of the people working for the company can Xpect to be nodded through, no matter how indifferent they are.
Q: How much does a law banning something cost?
A: Giving £1 MILLION to t.b. liar's Labour party in 1997 got foxhunting banned. Similar Mandelsleaze is reported to be going on right now as these two heroes have Bier Smarmer under their spell.
“Does Bier Smarmer think he can claim impeccable integrity because he delegates all the dodginess to tbl & the Mandelsleaze?” Denig Rate
1. Lying to news meeja, which spread lies & disinformation deliberately & cynically, is not a crime. Rather, it is legitimate retaliation.
2. All the moans @ Baroness Mone are typical far-left monstering of someone who had the temerity to create a successful business.
Less than 50% of the ginormous NHS budget goes on stuff related to patient care.
It is run by oiks who are even worse than the EFU was for wasting our money.
Q: What do ley-lines and gods have in common?
A: They are real only to people who believe in them.
Five years—that's how long the snivel service took to advise schools that male is male and female is female. And kidz who pretend to be a cat or a moon of Jupiter are just taking the piss.
Even so, the foot-draggers are still going to faff about until well into next year before actually publishing anything.
Being denied, so it must be true
A Labour government would have to invent some new taxes to pay for Edstone Milipede's unfunded £28 BILLION splurge on UseLESS greenwash.
Bier Smarmer is fully committed to the Milipede scam. Translation—Xpect U-turns back & forward depending on the wind direction.
“Bier Smarmer has described that Wokeford bloke as a Titan of politics. In fact, he turned Wales into a replica of the Titanic by acting as a human iceberg & wrecking everything in his path. Something Milipede & O.J. Corbynstein never managed with the UK, despite Corbynstein having Smarmer as his best mate.” X. Pector Rate
Advertisement
 Mr. Wydey’s Book List
Highly Recommended Reading, Authors worth pursuing & some Awful Warnings, Hundreds of Bux listed! |
Hey! Hey! striking for more!
What can WE do to even the score?
Storm Kier turned out to be a real noisy bugger. But with a name like that, what else could you Xpect but lotz of sound & aimless fury?
Q: What Xactly is a sustainable cease-fire in Gaza, which
is what Dave the ex-Leader is demanding?
A: Drawing a parallel with allegedly sustainable alternatives to fossil fuels, it would be a cease-fire which is not always on and costs 10x as much in terms of lives lost & property destruction.
Thought for the Day:
Every whinge from every climate criminal and their accessories comes out of their body in a cloud of climate-killing carbon dioxide. Something they need to be reminded of every time they open their ill-educated gob.
Dave the ex-Leader is looking as dodgy as a Mandelsleaze with his attempts to prevent anyone from finding out how much Arab gold slid into his pockets over the last 5 years.
Ofgem, the energy pretend regulator, is sticking paying customers with a £16 tax to compensate overcharging energy companies for their bad debts run up by millions of non-payers.
For Your Information
If you were wondering what on Earth his terrifying gadget is used for, (featured last month, Ed.] we can reveal that it is being marketed as the ultimate answer to nits, which are currently fashionable in certain circles. It literally leaves them nothing to infest!
Productivity in the rat infestation field of the private homes sector is reported to be up by a very impressive 1,000%.
Rachel equality in the Untied States has become a licence to Xclude & disrespect white people by those of colour who hold positions of authority, such as city mayors.
Is Creaky Joe too worried about being Net&Yahooed on corruption charges to be bovvered about the nastiness his regime is allowing?
Roll up, roll up! See the show!
The active rift volcano in Iceland is being treated as a free light show by the locals, who have been told they are in no immediate danger from it.
The train of lava flows is also doing wonders for Iceland's tourist trade. They're flocking in from all over the place.
No contest
The best Romiley has been able to offer in response has been some very red sky at night sunsets over the third weekend of the month. ——>
It has emerged that the reason why the SNP in Scotlandland is raising income tax on the most productive people is to discourage them from doing more work.
This is based on from the concept of putting more tax on cigarettes to cut down on smoking, If that doesn't make any sense, you are obviously not Humbug Useless or one of his minions.
NHS dentistry has been driven into Xtinction due to funding cuts imposed by Blobists in response to a failure to meet meaningless diversity targets.
Today’s Question:
Do we really need more yeller rain?
Ain't we had enuff already?
Will this amuse Princess Anne, the sensible president?
The Royal Yotting Association has introduced new rules for someone who falls off a boat. Anyone who spots a lurker in the water is no longer allowed to yell: "Man Overboard!"
Instead, they must determine the marine person's pronouns and also their gender preference so that the alarm-raiser knows whether to use a generic: "Person Overboard!" or a more specific form, such as: "Cat Overboard!" for a silly teenager.
The Labour council which drove Birmingham into bankruptcy is seeking to do the same to its customers via a demand for a 10% increase in the Council Tax to fund further waste.
Anti-government local councils have been dragging their feet over giving planning permission for new homes to prevent a Tory government from achieving a new build target of 300,000 per year. The Govester is on their case now.
Sherie blows back on Yellow Winds!
“Colorado court bans Trump from being on the ballot paper there? This is the Democraps & their allies playing politics via their judges. Not acceptable in a democracy. Where do they think they are? Putinstan? Iran? China? Hungary?” Mitt E. Gate
“What is decidedly peculiar & unjust is that the councillors & officers who drove a city or other council into bankruptcy are not banned from ever holding a job in the public sector on the grounds of gross incompetence & unfitness for the role.” S. Lebrity
“The latest claim from the ludicrous left is that the Labour party is behind Margaret Thatcher's image as a true political Titan. The line is that if they had not created such a ginormous mess of things in the 1960s & 70s, then there wouldn't have been anything for the Iron Lady to get the credit for achieving!” R. Kansas
“Bier Smarmer telling us the Tories are doing a lousy job is pointless if he has no alternatives that would work to offer. But hey! When did that ever bother an attention-seeking politician?” E. Bola
Baroness Mone has been awarded the Best Wind-Up of the Month Star for her performance on TV on the 3rd Sunday of the month.
She managed to wind up every usual suspect going mercilessly & give the newspaper scribblers endless inspiration for miles of wibble.
The Irish teashop is throwing a wobbly because the Britisch government is daring to pass laws without consulting him! Doshan blida, or what?
“No doubt beer smarmer thinks the teashop is another Titan of politics and a best mate.” Smolient Jam
“His record as a lawyer, his record as a liar. Are they interchangeable?” Grayder Ghud
Today's Question:
The far North—is it as deluded & dishonest as the far Left or as virtuous & maligned as the far Right? We should be told.
Terminal daftness defined:
Ludicrous lefties campaigning for the government to let bogus asylum seekers go home for Xmas with a guarantee that they will be re-imported—and Xpecting the Britisch taxpayer to pay for all this bullshit.
Today is your last shot at the ULTIMO present
before Xmas Day
——> The Smarmer-Endorsed flip-flop! <——
Essential for all members of the far-ludicrous!
*** Don’t Despair ***
This essential item will still available to mark New Year, birthday, job leaving, retirement and all other noteworthy occasions when we re-open on Boxing Day.
Thurston of Romiley, 42a Riverside Drive
Esso petrol 136.9p/litre.
Esso diesel 145.9p/litre.
Eternally on the job
Those Xperts are at it again, predicting a surge in moderate to severe eye injuries due to bottles of fizz in the hands of incompetents. No fatalities are Xpected unless the idiots get really inventive and/or the NHS collapses completely @ Xmas.
Mhegan the Muciloid & her Hapless Hairy husband have been invited to the Royals' Boxing Day shoot. As targets.
Eternally spouting Xcuses
The sometime Xtremism tsar, Dame S. Khan, is claiming the government is ignoring her report about preventing brainwashing of the young & impressionable by evil infiltraitors. The report was submitted 2 years ago.
A Home Office spokes said: "No form of Xtremism is acceptable in the UK."
Translation: The lazy left Blob can turn a blind eye to anything.
The ludicrous left campaign to cancel Admiral Lord Nelson for being pro-slavery has been Xposed, yet again, as based on lies & forgeries. But hey! When did the truth and inconvenient facts ever matter to the ludicrosities?
even more Tell ’Em Anything
The Labour Health Sec. wannabe, Desperate Bleating, would have us believe that if the ludicrous left Blob wrecked the NHS, the equally ludicrous Labour party is the only one that can fix it.
His big problem is that everyone knows that his slash & burn agenda for the NHS would never allowed to happen. Labour's trade union paymasters would veto it.
Desperate Blabbing has received a slap round the back of the head & reduced Labour's promise to clear NHS waiting lists in a 5-year term in office to just an aspiration to do it after 3 or more terms.
“And the cash has already been awarded elsewhere anyway. A total of four times and counting.” Umbert Logjam
Warning:
The billing system for the French energy company EdF is going crazy. Customers who get a demand for tens of thousands of pounds for a routine month's consumption are advised to kick up a stink vigorously.
Q: What Xactly is identity politics?
A: It's a system for damaging diversity by claiming that everyone who looks and/or thinks like the claimant is enormously superior to everyone else.
Clear blue water potential?
The Prime Monster, Sue Knack, is calling for a Britisch buyer for the Thames river boat that carried Sir Winston Churchill's coffin to his funeral in 1965. The current owner is feeling his age and wants to find a new home for an iconic craft and the last of its line.
Just a thought, but why doesn't the PM stick a fist into the Knack family hundreds of millions and do the nation a favour? It's definitely something we couldn't Xpect from Scrooge Smarmer, the man who made some of his mllions out of putting dangerous criminals back into the community.
One or two tidings of comfort & joy —>
[right] The 'White is All Right' and Xcessively modest Xmas tree with white lights in Romiley Park, snapped through the rain on a grey and unwelcoming Xmas Eve morning.
Today is Acrobatic Stilts Day
Customers are recommended to do it before they go on the booze!
The Untied Kingdom will be deemed to have had a White Christmas if one single tiny lousy flake of snow lands on the northernmost Scottish Island sometime on December 25th.
The question most asked by our readers this month is: "This Xmas business—is it all a plug for Marsman Musk's 'abuse a total stranger' chatform?"
Two men are currently enjoying the thanks of a grateful nation for removing a naff piece of Banksy Bollocks from a London street.
Ofcom, the alleged meeja regular, is playing an active part in the campaign to kill off cash & create a cards-only society. The 'Why Of It' has yet to be revealed but it's bound to be something sinister.
Today's Observation:
It is not a sin to lie to the news meeja as they have no scruples about showering us with lies, & distorted & invented facts which amount to lies, in pursuit of an often grubby agenda.
Today’s Question:
Just how good is an Islamic Dunk?
COP28out Verdict: The turkeys didn't vote for Christmas.
The leaders of the doctors' union that doesn't dare call itself a trade union, the BMA, is claiming that the Jr.Dox are striking to save the NHS. What have they been smoking? Everyone knows it's all about the money and nothing else. Always has been, always will be.
“With all the NHS strikes, is 'medical neglect' now going to appear as a common cause on death certificates?” Yagor Anoive
Shamrock green buffoon
Creaky Joe, the alleged president of the Untied States, has been outed as a useful idiot for the IRA.
His minions are giving him the credit for encouraging the Irish teashop to set the EFU 'uman bluddy rights circus on us.
“Creaky Joe is missing the Troubles and he's trying to fire them up again with his support for the IRA and his attacks on us. Will the Snackstabber tell the old cnut to fucq off? Yeah, right.” Nomeritus Smarmer
Po-faced gits @ the Daily Mirror attempted to create a world-stopping crisis out of an ear-wigged casual remark made by the Home Sec. A wet month in the stocks for the lot of them is overdue. Same for the PFGs of the BierBC who also tried to make a meal out of nothing much.
Xmas Saturday: the Steelers host the Bengals
The Steelers went practically the length of the field for a TD after 5 minutes. The Bengals got close, only to be picked in the PS end zone. The Steelers were back for more in the first minute of Q2, 0-14.
A pick in midfield put the Steelers on course for another TD after 8 minutes, 0-21. The Bengals blew up on a 4th & inches near the PS 4 a couple of minutes before half time. An 'unbelievably' sideline catch got the Steelers to the CB 35 with a minute to go. FG, 0-24.
Zoom! The Bengals found a receiver for a TD 4 minutes in to Q3, +2, 8-24. Another bomb pass from Rudolph, another PS TD! 8-31. The Bengals closed the quarter with a FG, 11-31. Another pick by the Steelers, FG from it, 11-34. And that was the final score.
Next up, the Bolts host the Bills
A short FG gave the Chargers the first points. The Bills bogged up a punt return at the end of Q1 and the Bolts started Q2 with a drive, on to a TD and 0-10. A bomb pass gave the Bills a TD, 7-10. The Bills went ahead with a TD in the last minute of the half, 14-10.
The Bolts were sacked out of the red zone half way through Q3, held to a FG, 14-13. The Bills staged a Charge! from the LAC 1 for a TD in the 13th minute, 21-13. Another FG from the Bolts in Q4, 21-16. Then another, 21-19. A fumble recovery by the Bolts, another FG, 21-22. Scramble, TD Bills? Down by contact, FG, 24-23. With a second left to score, the Bolts threw the ball around a bit but got nowhere.
How to lie with numbers
Footfall in the nation's shops on Xmas Eve was 20.6% down on last year? Blame it on the costa living crisis created by an evil Tory government, is the message from the far-Left.
But today is Tuesday and Boxing Day, and that means Xmas Eve fell on a Sunday. And aren't there all these Sunday Trading Regulations aimed at stopping people from doing shopping on a Sunday?
So much for the costa living effect and the honesty of the far-Left.
HOT Fact No. 1
Yesterday was the hottest Xmas day for 15 million years, or something. The claims of the gorbal warmage swindlars are now so blatant that only those who hope to make money out of them listen any more.
Because of the above, White Xmas status was awarded just to parts of Scotland. The rest of us had to be content with a grim, grey Xmas Day.
HOT Fact No. 2
If there are any weird typos in these reports, blame the cat who thinks across a computer keyboard is an okay short cut to take to one of her parking spots. Being a cat she is, of course, Xcused listening to appeals to her better nature & listening to reason.
Thanks for nothing!
The Talibandits are getting the blame for a rise in deaths in the UK due to abuse of opiods. Their ban on poppy ranching in Afghanistan is leaving the market wide open to drugs made by Chinese gangsters, which are a thousand times stronger than heroin, which makes it impossible for the mug punter know how big a dose he/she is taking.
Despite the costa living crisis, deaths from cocaine overdoses are @ a record high.
Switzerland is going to legalize cocaine as a first step toward making it compulsory.
Bier Smarmer & gang are having to pretend that the edstone milipede plan to blow £28 BILLION on greenwash never happened to prevent the Tories from asking awkward questions about how it's all supposed to work, even if it's all just a fantasy.
Even Worse! The Bonk of England is warning that interest rates would have to go up in response to the milipede robbery, putting £160/month on a £200 grand mortgage, as another scarifier for the Labour Loonies.
Do you suck up to the Todger Dodgers?
Bier Smarmer does 'coz he's that sort of guy.
Anything goes if there's summat in it for him.
posted by the Campain for a Smarmier Brittan
|
 |
Bier Smarmer is setting up another of his political flip-flops. He is making noises about being all for the votes that go with making assisted dying legal. But he is Xpected to be dead against it in the new year.
The Oxford Road bus lane in Manchester is stealing from unwary motorists with fines at a rate of £7 MILLION per year.
No probation officers will be gaoled over parking an alcoholic killer next door to a woman in sheltered accommodation in Worksop. She ended up battered to death as the killer's third victim.
The Green Bay Packers in Carolina on Xmas Eve
The Pack barged over the line from the CP 1 after solid rushing by Jones & Dillon. A long FG got the Panthers to 7-3. More Jones. GB started Q2 with another barge-in TD; by Love, but the PAT missed. 13-3.
A 20-yard dash round the defence got the Panthers a TD, 13-10. A 53-yard FG try, 16-10. 3rd & 2 then 4th & 2; both stopped by the Pack. A TD in the last minute of the first half for GB, 23-10.
Roughing the passer helped the Panthers to a TD in the 10th minute of Q3, 23-16. GB survived a fumble by getting the ball back, on to the red zone, TD for Doubs to start Q4, 30-16. A TD for the home team after 8 minutes, 30-22; this PAT also missed.
Another TD after 11 minutes, +2, 30-all. GB ate the clock, FG, 33-30, 19 seconds left. The Panthers got close but ran out of time. Yay!
The inhabitants of the Icelandic town Grindavik can count themselves very lucky. The local cops were all for letting them back to their homes for Xmas, thinking that the danger was over, just before their local rift volcano uncorked on the 3rd Monday of the month.
Wokeing @ Home is setting new records for estupido Xcuses for not being in the workplace. Such as the dog is feeling unhappy on its own.
++ BierBC bogs up again ++ Picks bloke called Oily—supporter of the Hamas—as Eurovision Song Contest entry ++
Schmegulation
Ofcom is dodging adding those against the BierBC to its tally of complaints to avoid the embarrassment of a figure around the quarter of a million mark and accusations of being crap @ regulation.
The Supreme Court has ruled that an A.I. system may not be included as an inventor on a patent application. That role belongs Xclusively to people & may not be used as an advertising gimmick by A.I. manufacturers.
The lawyer who lost this case is reported to have turned a truly remarkable shade of indignant purple. Maybe someone will patent it!
What we really want to know is who's next after Smarmer? Does Labour have a Creaky Joe equivalent stashed away? Or is their next secret weapon even more dreadful?
Creaky Joe is creating new world records with his disapproval rating! There has never ever been one that low before.
One for the Stargate fans
“Doesn't 'Kree! Kee!' sound like something a Goa'uld would yell at its Jaffa?” Desk Ribe
Q: "Lipstick on nonsense"?
A: The official term for Israel government's alibis for bombing everything in Gaza; including 76 members of an extended family; out of Xistence instead of going after the Hamas in their hideouts. But something which can be applied to most official alibis. And especially to alibis from Those People.
Fingers in till Shock-Horror
The SNP mob has been caught in the act of robbing the piggy bank containing dosh from sales of offshore wind far plots. Instead of 'reinvesting' the cash in the energy industry, as advertised, the Humbug's crew is dumping it into the monstrous Brown Hole in the national budget created by sheer and persistent incompetence.
“Ultra-left climate criminals would be really up the creek without the imaginary far- and ultra-right heroes used as targets for deliberate lies. Four cheers for all the slandered sensible, non-criminal Rightists. You kno they're Right!” Y. Pout
Essential in every household!
The Virtue Flagon!!!
Fully endorsed by weapons-grade hypocrite Sir Smarmer!!!
PERFORATED!!!
Will not hold sensible views of any sort
GUARANTEED!!!
Megano & Wilf of Romiley, 14 Riverside Lane
|
 |
Write yer own definition
China is claiming its biggest selling point is continuity in government. There isn't a possible change of leadership every 4 or 5 years and the chance of a 180-degree shift in policy.
China can remain in the same depressed rut for decades if the waxworks can hold on. And this is a Good Thing, the waxworks reckon.
Write yer own definition Part Deux
Close to 21,000 Palestinians dead in Gaza. The Israelis claim they try to avoid civilian casualties. Not very hard, has to be the conclusion. Even in what are alleged to be 'safe' areas.
“No danger of concentrating on all these tunnels where the Hamas hide and not bombing the fucq out of apartment buildings on the surface, of course.” Barry Cade
Deferably festering rather than festive
City Hall in Belgrade was stormed by the Serbs Against Violence organization on Xmas Eve in protest against endemic corruption in this month's local and national elections.
All the cheating took place quite openly under the noses of gangs of international observers.
“Sounds like the observers were there in search of tips for doing the vote-rigging rather than trying to stop it.” Con Spire
This week, Labour will be mostly considering off-shoring bogus asylum seekers (but not to Rwanda, natch). The Balls-Cooper woman and Son of N. Pillock are both involved, which means than nothing in the way of good sense is on offer.
Next week, the party's speculators will be mostly smarming otherwise.
A deal with the EFU involving taking 100,000 migrants; plus the cost of hosting them; is Bier Smarmer's notion of a brilliant idea.
Far-Left arsonists attempted to burn down a Tory MP's constituency office in North London on Xmas Eve as their Xmas present to him.
The Prisons Inspector is claiming that locking criminals up just makes them worse. No incarceration and an automatic death sentence on conviction on the cards as the only practical solution?
“The far-Left fraudsters must be really afraid of Mr. Cleverly, the current Home Sec., if they're trying to confect sacking grounds out of a harmless joke.” Ed U. Cater
“The same sort of thing is going on with the far-Left snivel servants @ the Ministry of Defence, who are briefing against the government furiously.” Klot Stikin
Goes around
The lawyer who did the attention-seeking apology about Baroness Mone is to have his collar felt by his job's regulator. A charge of hippocrisy is not Xpected to stick, however, 'coz he's a lawyer.
He has a history of trying to muzzle our free Press and prevent shameful secrets of Celebs becoming public property. Being a known associate of Those People is supposed to be okay for lawyers.
Now, it seems he's involved in corrupting the Press with misinformation. Not a crime for his client but a reputation-buster for someone claiming to be holier than Joe.
DEPARTURES
Far-Left former EFU Commission president Up Yours Delors, 98.
Storm Gridlock got really loud late on Wednesday night. There was even a roof-off-ripping tornado in nearby Stalybridge. No one injured but 100 houses damaged and slates all over the shop. Nothing like that in Romiley. Not even streets full of branches blown off the village's abundant trees.
Where was the ‘hottest' Xmas day since 2016 confected? At an airport. All that concrete and all that hot air blasting out of jet airliners. 'Nuff sed.
Rat’s RoundUp
++ Blackpool Tower fire a false alarm ++ Just orange netting at the top being blown around ++ No fire without smoke! ++ Usual suspects in deep mourning ++ Deprived of chance to moan about National Treasure being burnt to ground ++
Residents of Stalybridge, near Romiley, are grateful that they weren't hit by a Sharknado or a Stonado full of ice bombs!
The strike by Jr.Dox in January is Xpected to be particularly lethal, reducing the pool of taxpayers who have to fund them still further.
The reason why there are no NHS dentists has been revealed—tony b. liar promised one on every high street.
Politicians are polishing up their deepfake alibis for the next election. Everything damaging will be dismissed as an A.I. video or audio construct & nothing to do with the obviously guilty & dodgy party.
Despite the costa living crisis, one in 3 house sales is currently for cash.
Two speed cam workers have discovered to their dismay that deleting speeding evidence to help out a friend is not a perk of the job. Something to ponder whilst they take a holiday in gaol.
Today's Question:
Are you nobody in Hollywood & the acting trade generally if your name can't be reduced to something ending in 'ie'? F'rinstance Joanie (Collins) or Arnie (Schwarzenberger).
Lest we forget:
1. Gordon F. Broon was the bonehead Chancer of the Exchequer who announced he was selling off half of the UK's gold reserves six months before the event, crashed the price of gold and swindled the nation out of 50% of the value of the gold.
No wonder the bugger acquired the nickname of The Mugger when he was rampaging. The Britisch economy still hasn't recovered from the mess he made of it.
2. George Floyd was the architect of his own destruction. He went out when drunk to swindle a local shop with a fake $20 bill, his own self-inflicted medical conditions were the cause of his death and the leaders of the BLAME Bunchers stole most of the cash donated to put an end to police forces in the Untied States.
Q: What do you get if you've been slammed up in the slammer unjustly in the Untied States for 42 years for a murder you didn't commit?
A: A lousy $150K.
Things about which the spivs @ the UNO have lied to us No. 991:
In 2010, the UN's Food & Agriculture Organization claimed that all the topsoil on The Planet would be history in 60 years' time. This is total & utter bollocks.
More noises off . . .
The Trivials accused the government of condemning thousands to a mortgage nightmare before Xmas as an attention-seeking gimmick. But what are they doing to provide practical help?
Apart from Net Zero?
Stacking an already stacked deck; it’s the Labour way
Beer Smarmer's latest wannabe wheeze is to apply an age limit to the House of Frauds in the hope of Xcluding Tory peers, who are in a minority anyway.
No danger of a probity requirement to Xclude all the far-left chancers, of course. And creatures like T. Watson, who was installed in ermine (shudda bin vermin), lest we forget, by . . . Bier Smarmer. No danger of an apology for that, apparently.
Sherie blows back on another storm!
“21,000 Palestinians dead in Gaza. Even the Cardassians on Bajor during the occupation thought a Resistance life for a Cardassian life was fair and reasonable.” Fuge Udmen
“Something the far-Left have clearly failed to grasp, which becomes painfully obvious when they start confecting outrage over remarks by the Home Sec., is that we Britisch tend to laugh & joke most about the things we take most seriously. Cue the far-Left having to look up what the word 'joke' means.” B. Calmed
“The self-appointed Xperts who go on about how China's military budget has soared compared to ours never seem to mention the obvious rat in the drainpipe. We're not preparing to invade anywhere. China is gearing up to invade Taiwan.” Bran D. Snappe
Q: Why doesn't Labour have a plan for handling unwanted migrants?
A: They're still looking for a fag packet to scribble some BS on.
Save The Planet with Air Diamonds!
Grown using the carbon content of carbon dioxide extracted from the atmosphere.
++ 100% virtuous ++ 20% of cost of dug-up diamonds ++ you can't get greener ++
Industrial grade and gemstone grade
Romiley Air Diamonds (Industrial), 37b Riverside Drive
Romiley Air Diamonds (Display), 37c Riverside Drive
Using wood to construct parts for wind turbines might be a cute gimmick that reduces the cost of building them but it does nothing to address the basic problem.
No electricity when the wind don't blow.
This is not anything new, so we're not surprised to hear that another gang of boffins has calculated the wind and tide conditions that make an occasional parting in the Red Sea possible.
But the story of a parting occurring on demand for Moses remains just that—a story.
Haus of Frauds declares prisons egermency as an alterative to doing something.
Q: Wot about that Icelandic volcano?
A: It was busted down from Egermency to just Danger on the Friday before Xmas. Busted flush time. Residents of the nearby village were allowed to visit their homes on Thursday 21st December but not allowed to stay as the Xperts are Xpecting the volcano to pop off again. Sometime. Maybe.
Some of the houses in the village have been wrecked by earthquakes, some have just had pictures shaken off the walls, the occupants reported.
Friday Nite Football: the Jets @ the Browns
Dressed all in white to confuse everyone, the Browns took 4 minutes to score a TD. One back for the Eagles after 7 minutes, 7-all. Zoom! Another for the Browns in the 11th minute, 7-13. Then they mugged the kick off return man for the ball but blew up on 4th & 4. But a pick-6 with a couple of minutes left in the quarter gave them a TD and 7-20.
The Browns fumbled the ball away early in Q2. Nothing from it. Another TD for the Browns in the 9th minute, 7-27. A tipped pass set up a defensive TD for the Eagles 2 minutes from half time, 14-27. Less than a minute later, Ford barged through Swiss Cheese defence to the end zone. 14-34. A long FG, 17-34 at half time.
The Eagles had a FG try blocked in the 6th minute of Q3. The next one, in Q4, worked, 20-34. Another FG after 6 minutes, 20-37. And that's how it finished.
More Sherie on the way to a New Year
“The Britisch are alleged to laugh at the inhabitants of banana republics. Will they be entitled to laugh at us when our climate becomes balmy enuff to let us grow them here and we become a banana monarchy?” Holl Erith-Field
“Are the far-Left peasants jealous of the Royal Family? No, they're stuck @ avarice. They see people who have a few bob & they think they're entitled to blag it.” Tom Bola
“Dressed up with wanting some of the loot to go to things like the NHS to be wasted on wokery. But it's really all about meme. That's 'me, me, me, gimme!' Nothing more.” Jomon Tanner
“Bier Smarmer is a bloke with no social conscience. He can stroll home after a day at work and announce that he's made thousands of pounds out of getting a couple of dangerous criminals out of gaol. Is someone like that really fit to be our prime monster?” Noah Chance
Perversity Rulz, Nokay!
Inventors & engineers made instant communication possible with the electric telegraph & national telephone networks, and added near Earth orbiting satellites to the mix. Only for modern young people to choose not use their ultra-modern pocket phones for conversations with relatives.
Labour's far-Left Cardinal Rule
Never let the facts spoil a good political accusation.
Have you been missold an electric vehicle?
Did your EV fail to live up to expectations?
Did it fail to save The Planet?
Join our class action against the manufacturers!
www.myEVclaim.con
Shame they cain’t get nothin’ right
The Notional Truss had a good moan about Xtreme everything to do with the weather during this year, but to what object? Lacking a weather control system, all we can do is live with it and ignore the extended hands of climate criminals in meme mode.
What they have to put in the history books now
The Irish president of the time declined an invitation to the wedding of then Prince Charles to Lady Di as a gesture of solidarity with the IRA.
Q: What did we get when paramilitaries in Ireland agreed to decommission their weapons by May 2000?
A: The IRA not bothering to do it until September 2005.
The Geek screws up again
Sadgeek K'han't, London's cosmetic mayor, is putting goons in skeleton facemasks near UseLEZ cameras to defend them from outraged citizens, who object to K'han't stealing cash from motorists while doing nothing of any note to improve air quality.
Worse, the goons are illegally recording video footage of anyone who walks past their position, violating their victims' 'uman bluddy rights mercilessly.
Meanwhile, the Sabs are still taking out stealth tax cameras which are unguarded by goons.
Attention all Snackstabbers!
The thing the government really has to do is tell the ringmanster of the Chinese plague circus that she has until the end of June to get the alleged ‘investigation' done and reported.
If not, no pay for wasting time and vast amounts of taxpayers' cash, especially what went to her mates, and the baronessship is toast.
Below the line mission statement: Some of the above is true. BFN is recognized as a premiere class observational blog and a multiple winner of the OB of the Year award.
We are constantly exposed to dodgy conclusions drawn from dodgy data by the 'experts', especially those found in the world of politics and especially those at the Treasury and in opposition and running trade unions.
Some of us civilians at BFN like to join in to let them know that anyone can do it and we ain't impressed by their efforts.
 page
top | Created for Romiley Anarchists' League by workers in revolt against oppression to set the record straight in the 3rd millennium.
© RAL, December MM23 like anyone cares. |
A gang of guessmakers has concluded that 515,000 homes must be built every year to cope with inward migration. But are there enuff flood plains to put all them houses on? Or are we going to have to double the budget for the Enviromint Agency's disaster confection bureau?
Scaby is a lying git, sez his Dutch publisher, which had to eat the cost of pulping a whole batch of his scabby book.
The Hamas made $100 MILLION out of shorting Israeli stocks before the terrorism attacks on October 7th.
Iceland has been rocked by 180 earthquakes in the last 48 hours in areas both near and far from the town of Grindavik, the Icelandic Met Office has reported. The magnitude of the earthquakes ranged from 0.7 to 2.4, with the highest magnitude quake striking on Monday morning.
