NOTE: November is International Disrespect A Vegan Month

WEEK 1    Putin the ‘fun’ into defunct

 
Give full value
Finally, the government has summoned up the gumption to order local councils to stop stealing from their customers by providing 4 days' work for 5 days' pay.
   Took the buggers long enuff.

Digit in need of Xtraction
Non-tax-cutting Chancellor Hunt the Stunt is being wishy-washed with the timidity card. And he is being clubbed vigorously with the truth that the government's ginormous spending could be trimmed by 5% with Net Zero damage to anything vital—such as support for Ukraine.
   This would provide £60 BILLION to hand back to the customers as tax cuts when he eventually does his much-trailed Autumn Statement.

Research @ the University of Brisbane has found that Aussie women are not particularly attracted to blokes with a well developed sense of humour.
“Confirmation, if it were needed, that misery loves company?” Hors Cassidy

The Reader Speaks; Views on A.I.s
“What we really need is an A.I. which can distinguish between the effects of genuine climate change and human hysteria,
   “Genuine climate change is a leisurely process which can actually have beneficial effects. [e.g. emerging from Ice Ages, Ed.] The hysteria is generally an overblown response to some bad weather. Especially when it is being Xploited by climate criminals for their own fun & profit.” V. Iscuss
“Something else an A.I. could do apparently is Xamine flood photos posted on auntiesocial meeja to look for ways to improve defences. But this is probably something that's too sensible for the powers that be to consider.” Bash Talverize

1. We hear far too much from & about irrelevant minorities. They should all be given an annual attention quota, and when that's used up, finito benito. Silence on pain of Xtreme sanctions.
2. Where are the biggest crooks? Running banks & insurance companies. Where are the people letting crooks get away with it? Running police forces.

O.J. Corbynstein, when Labour leader, actually admitted that his preferred approach to politics is to indulge in constructive ambiguity until no one has a clue what he stands for & where he's going.
   This is clearly something that's well programmed into his monster, the warthog of wibble who is the current Labour honcho. [right]

Par for the course for most politicians
The Xpert opinion on Wee Burney Sturgeon from a professor @ Edinburgh University is that she was good at self-publicity and putting herself about in front of TV & other cameras but not much cop @ getting anything useful done.
“She was too focussed on pretending to be saving the world from her climate egermeny to be bothered with cash-strapped Scottish local councils, huge drug death numbers, transport, the NHS, etc., etc. In summary, totally UseLEZ. But aren't they all?” K. Lobber
“Typical bloody politician. Junkets galore, eyes permanently off the ball.” Epics 2come

Talking about not much cop . . .
The Green party members of the coalition with the SNP are seeking to deprive Scotland's coastal towns of income from cruise ship by letting councils impose a spurious carbon emissions tax on the visitors.
   The tax will have net zero effect on the global climate and it is just greenwash of the worst sort from Those People.

Finally, reality is starting to see the light of day. People who count are daring to reveal that public inquiries are generally shambolic lawyer feasts, which are a bigger scandal than the topic under investigation—Chilcot on t.b. liar's illegal war, the Chinese plague, Edinburgh trams, etc., etc.

Just a thought:
Israel's policy of blasting & bombing & killing thousands of Palestinians could be said actually to be legitimizing Hamas rocket attacks as a form of entitled retaliation. That's certainly what the woke left are deploying with all their vigour.

More legal shenannygoats on the way?
Thanks to a new law, auntiesocial meeja can now be fined if they fail to remove scams rapidly and prevent new/recycled ones from appearing. Facing fines in the BILLIONs, they are, no doubt, gearing up their lawyers to spend decades in the courts over the precise definitions of 'prevent' & 'rapidly'.

All the 80 mph winds from Storm Charon will be coastal, we have been assured. Thus anyone with the good sense to live inland, like Romiley's residents, will be okay if occasionally a bit wet.
The first Britisch citizens allowed to escape from Gaza to Egypt? What took them so bloody long? The dead hand of burrocrazy inaction? Cudda bin done weeks ago.

Fence Noos
Labour MPs are getting more security from the police thanks to their leader's inability to get orf the fence. It is putting his stooges at risk from everyone who has a view on anything at all, both the pros & the cons.
“Why are labour ministerial wannabes resigning 'coz Bier Smarmer won't yell for a cease-fire in Gaza? It's not as if anyone in the war zone will take a blind bit of notice if he does. It's just SNAFU—puffed-up political pillocks trying to make something that's nothing to do with them all about them.” S.A. Turated
“Maybe they ought to change his name to Sir Biermat if it makes no odds what can be plonked on him in the way of daft ideas.” Claud Fingers

What's the cutest way of shoving prices up right now? Telling you the new price for an 'improved' service is the same as the old price, and hoping you don't notice that the new price is the same as the old price plus VAT but the new price quoted doesn't include VAT. Which means the bastards are charging you 20% more.

Q: How do you know a shower of bollocks is on the way?
A: It will follow right after a politician claims that the UK will become a world leader in something, e.g. A.I.

Q: Are there any A.I.cons?
A: No doubt people who think they can make money out of them are beavering away behind the scenes to confect some.

Only a wibbler would moan about PM Sue Knack inviting the Chinese to an A.I. do @ Bletchley.
   If they're not there in person, you can be sure the buggers will have the beanfeast bugged.

We don't need to be told you can't trust China in an age of A.I. They're the enemy and NEVER to be trusted. And everyone who don't kno that needs to be cancelled.

Mick to the rescue with some helpful suggestions . . . No! & Really? mess & ingabout bloke & indrag avin & alaff mind & yours get & lorst sod & orf groan & another groan

The Labour party's secretary, General J. Formby, concluded @ the start of 2019 that the party's anti-Semmitism is endemic and part of the heart & soul of the Labour movement and unshiftable.
   How true that judgement has proved to be.

The Forces of Evil are still at it
A reader asked several years ago if your house caught fire, who would you rather have trying to save it — big, strong, white men or a group of people of varied sizes and ethnicities and capabilities which reflects the diversity of your community unnecessarily?
   Our reader concluded that trying to keep white men out of the nation's fire brigades should be classed as an act of terrorism.
   Another reader asked—who would you want in overall charge of the fire-fighting operation? Someone who knows how to tackle fires? Or someone skilled in the art of management-speak BS and amateur social engineering?
   The second option still prevails in the public sector.

NERdL, the company with the UK's air traffic control franchise, is being rewarded for making a total bog of things during the summer with a rise in its fees of 26% per flight. And it will be allowed to screw travellers even more for the next 3 years.
   Thank the Civil Aviation Authority for this infamy.

“Maybe we've been doing Net&yahoo an injustice. Maybe nothing much has happened in the way of an effective invasion of Gaza 'coz the Israeli 'elf 'n' safety mob are dragging their collective feet over getting the risk assessment job done.” Nokan Dhu

Recollections may vary
Especially if they are coming from current & former snivel servants and sacked political advisors @ a public inquiry and the 'witness' is seeking to bash someone in the government, or formerly in it, for personal advantage.

“It is totally disingenuous for the Met honcho to pretend that the law doesn't let his minions arrest jihadists @ demos. Not after the police have collected endless showers of derision for confecting thousands of spurious (non-)hate crimes using existing laws after some ratbag claimed to be offended by something.” O.R. Thodontist

Today’s Proverbs:
1. Words and silence can both be violence.
2. Confected diversity is the enemy of harmony & cohesion.

We're living in an era of Donkey Hotees, who are tilting @ windmills called diversity, white privilege, colonialism and all the rest. We wouldn't mind if they were paying their own way but the bastards are doing it at our Xpense.

Nuts in May all the year round
A self-employed gardener has been busted for dressing up in a latex suit and harassing & alarming with distress, female persons in his area. He is playing the mental 'elf card. No one surprised.

Sherie Zooms Back with a RoundUp
“What does the future hold for Swami Chuckabutty, who got a seat in the House of Frauds on the strength of failing to find any anti-Semmitism in the Labour party. Is she going to have to be redacted for wilful UseLEZness?” Gonex Tinct
“Whatever became of the plan to award a knighthood to O.J. Corbynstein so that it could be stripped off again as a gesture of spurious virtue?” Al Beeno
“All the jihadi stuff going on here is very bad news for the Bride of Daesh S. Begum. It's proof that we have quite enuff supporters of terrorism and we don't need any more; especially not her.” Pseu Donym

Marko & Sparko Xmas ad is fun!
The message from the reviewer in the Daily Disaster is a shower of approval for an ad that bins all the Christian & family stuff and urges people to have a good time by doing what they want to do, ditch all the stressful stuff and just enjoy themself.
Cue an outburst from the No Fun League
Miserable whingers of GB Views throw wobbly @ M&S Xmas Ad over arson episodes that make it look like a war zone.
   Not 2 fingers to Xmas, just one.
   A middle one.
“There have been whinges about a burning Palestinian flag in an advert filmed months before the Gaza shindig kicked off. That's pretty ultimo in the prethetic stakes.” Gorst Ravinsky

Bier Smarmer is reported to be refusing to evict his pro-Palestine rebels 'coz he fears that they will create an alternative Labour party that's bigger than his!
Welsh Labour has a cunning plan to get a 50:50 male to female ratio in the devolved Ssennedd. All Mr. Wokeford has to do is persuade enuff blokes to identify as female to achieve cosmetic equemtocy.
The above sound like tactics doomed to indifference.

Spoon-bender U. Geller used to claim that it was his telepathic powers which prevented O.J. Corbynstein from becoming the Britisch prime monster. How come he's not using these marvellous powers to zap Hamas? And also Israel's corrupt prime monster & his mates?

Myths & Legends Department
Desperate Dom, the former President Boris aide everyone loves to have around to hate, received a good kicking in the Chinese plague circus of an inkwiry. But he has a perfect defence to accusations of misogyny on the strength of his multitude of Xpletive-laden messages—that he is ruder & cruder when he goes on about blokes.
   Which makes everything okay in Domworld.
“The degree of hindsight & outright invention coming from the 'witnesses' at the alleged Chinese plague inquiry is achieving new levels of ludicrosity. No wonder it will drag on into the next decade if a solitary stooge has the job of digging back into records to compare what is offered to the 'inquiry' with what went on record at the time of utterance.” Wilyafa Cough

One of them there surveys has found that oldies recycle a hell of a lot more than youngies, who are major polluters of the enviromint with their discarded fast-food & drinks containers. Clearly, the bods making the most noise about saving the world don't really give a rat's arse about it and they're just a bunch of eco-hippocrites.

Q: Should the likes of King Chuck have to join in the ludicrosity apologies for our colonial past?
A: No, all the non-Brits who benefitted from contact with a higher level of civilization should be showering us with thanks for all the goodies received instead of being whingeing ungrateful buggers.
“Many more non-Brits were killed by fellow non-Brits than by Brits in places like Africa. The notion of reparations is total BS. ‘Sorry' isn't the hardest word, it's simply the most inappropriate one.” Tur Andot

Tech bosses, who will be selling A.I. systems, reckon the rest of us should embrace their products. Which makes everything okay on the A.I. front.
   But will that make the whingers end their wibble? Fat chance!

A.I.s are like explosives. They can be used for good & evil, in construction & killing people. And having been invented, they aren't going to be uninvented, no matter how much the wibblers whinge.
   Thus, like explosives, we shall just have to learn to live with A.I.s and jump vigorously on misusers with both feet until they are good & dead.

Ain’t we wonderful!
Youngies are claiming ‘silent walking' is something new & totally amazingly fantastic. That's wandering about without earbugs yelling into their ears.
   Newsflash! Oldies & ancestors have been doing this for millions of years. And even the most primitive suckers on The Planet can do it without effort.

No good deed goes unappreciated
Marsman Musk has upset the Israeli regime by offering his satellite internet connections to the Gaza Strip for humanitarian reasons.
   The Net&yahooists are outraged by their counterblast to their strenuous attempts to Nagorno Gaza's Karabakh by deprivation of communications & other essentials like food & medical supplies.

Esso petrol 153.9p/litre.
Esso diesel 161.9p/litre.
Actually going down; but for how long?

Compost Mentis
Hansard, the official record of what is said in Parliament, has become a cousin of Wikipedia. The stooges creating the record have taken it upon themselves to edit out and/or rewrite the silly stuff actually said by Labourites to make them look almost as if they know what they're talking about.

Chancellor Hunt the Stunt is preparing a woke tax to take some of the smugness out of the wokists.

CFL East Semi: the TigerCats in sunny Montreal
The Cats coughed up their opening possession, nowt from it? A single from a punt. A short FG gave the Cats a 3-1 lead. One for the Als a minute in to Q2, 3-4. Another, 3-7. One for the Cats, 6-7. A tipped pass was picked by the Alouettes,. Fajardo fired a bomb, TD, 6-14.
   There was a huge scrum moving the ball for the Als in the first minute of Q3. Boot! Cote with another FG, 6-17. A FG for the Cats in the 7th minute, 9-17. A pick stopped the Als in scoring range. The Cats drove into Q4, FG after 4 minutes, 12-17. A dive into the end zone by Hardy gave him a TD, 12-24. Boot! with just over a minute to go, 12-27. That's it? After a pick by the Als, yes.

Sherie does another RoundUp
“Israel is entitled to have a right-wing government but it would be nice if it wasn't packed with fraudsters & crooks. Just saying.” Cristy Skwauk
“Whingers are not necessarily woke, i.e. the ones who are wailing that letting NHS customers on a waiting list travel to where there is spare treatment capacity Xcludes anyone who feels to old or ill to travel. If they can't join in, no one should be allowed to, is the stooopid whinge.” Mick Rofone
“Putting Big Tech in charge of administering A.I. development makes as much sense as putting the Just Snotters in charge of keeping the lights on.” Mann Churia
“There should be an automatic fine of £5,000 every time some misguided academic talks about ‘the scientific community' when pushing climate alarmism. There is no such community of shared beliefs anywhere, and pretending there is is plain criminal.” Trigger Treat

CFL West Semi: the Stampeders in Vancouver
The Stamps zoomed to a TD in 2 minutes. Their next effort ended in a pick, Adams with a TD pass in the 11th minute, 7-all. Adams took off from the CS 6 at the end of the quarter, TD, 7-14. A penalty let the Stamps get to scoring range in Q2, FG, 10-14. The BC Lions reached the CS 4, Adams got chased and ended up in the end zone!! 10-21. Boot! with 2 minutes to go, 13-21. Another TD in the last minute of the half put BC 13-28 ahead.
   A take-away stopped BC in Q3. Paredes with a FG, 16-28. And another, 19-28. Another sprint by Adams, on to a FG, 19-31. A Charge! from the CS 1 gave Adams another TD in Q4, 19-38. Add a FG, 19-41. Desperation time. 3rd & 21 from the BC 30, Maier with a TD pass! No, holding by the Stamps, FG instead, 22-41. A try by BC missed. Begelton took a TD pass with just over a minute left, +2, 30-41. And that was the final score.

Get off yer knees, you prethetic bunch
The BLAME Bunchers hoodwinked the Britisch Establishment 'coz it is full of idiots who think anything American also applies here.
   The ranks of the BB are full of crooks but the poseurs of the BE just don't get it.
“Some lives of any grouping matter, some don't, especially those of crooks.” Prak Tickle

Today’s Question:
Does Biermat Smarmer really have to lumber us with an Islamophobia Awareness Month to show us how to do it properly? He's bound to make a bog of it.
   It's what he's done with everything else he's gone in for.
“Sounds like as much fun as International Domestic Violence Day. Get yer boxing gloves, on, Bier!” Bash Talverise

New Year Wish:
May all the gods grot over whinger wokists, contemptible colonialismists, arsehole apologizers & Third World thieves.
   Remember, a pest in a vest is best!

A posturing BierBC wildlife sniffer, who did it on TV, will not be prosecuted for nasal assault on baby birds.
   Specialist police officers have spent 9½ weeks reaching the conclusion that no crime was committed.
   A grateful nation rejoices? Yeah, right.

Something else to rejoice about
The offspring of Sugar Ray** is lobbying her boss to be the Labour candidate in a winnable constituency come the next general election.
   No doubt Bierman Smarmer will be inclined to play the nepotism card in the upstart's favour, as happened with young Kinnock, etc.
[**Former top-salary snivel servant & model of impartiality who took the Labour shilling. Ed.]

Invitation to enterprise
Sussex police have reinvented the town centre police station concept by deploying an 8-foot square shed made out of recycled plastic bottles.
   One major snag. It would take just an enterprising crook with a forklift & a respray kit to make it disappear to be reincarnated as a garden shed.

Sadgeek K'han't's UseLEZ scam is raking in over £22 MILLION per month. Is the cash going on anything useful to his customers? Joke.

Q: Is there anything @ all that isn't facing an Xistential threat, according to some doombugger?
A: Unlikely.

Q: You Englisch have this expression ‘shedding 2 stones with one bird'. Is this some form of diet?
A: Sounds like a great idea for one.
Q: Is it time to feel sorry for Prince Hairy?
A: Aaaaah, no!

Acute observation
When the IRA was hiding in West Belfast, our government didn't send the RAF to bomb the fucq out of the place. Nor the mainland towns where the IRA took refuge with its fans.
   Is this where we went wrong?

Today’s Question: Capitulatism—do we really need it?

. . . and nothing like the truth
Desperate Dom, his cohort Leaky Can & the snivel servants Case & Treadmill have been weighed in the balance over the Chinese plague response and found wanting.
   And arrogant. And narcissistic.
   Hence their frantic efforts to rewrite history to make themselves look like miracle workers & seers who were ignored.
   Did we mention disloyal control freaks?
The conclusion from that lawyer-fest inquiry is already clear and it doesn't need to drag on for another decade. The next time the Chinese send us a plague, don't let the civil service, wobbly politicians, doomy medical ‘experts' and especially not Desperate Dom anywhere near it. Then we might have a chance of getting through it relatively unscathed.

Four years ago, there were worries that the Japanese would resume killing whales for food. Fast forward to the present and the snoflakes won't eat whales. So there's no money to be made out of sending Captain Ahabsan after them and the whaling industry has sunk.

Something worth repeating
The First Law of Jurisprudence: For every weird decision delivered by a judge, there will be an even weirder one yet to come.

Beans feasted upon to no great consequence for ’umanity
The imaginary threats from A.I. have been discussed @ the aptly named Wretched Park. Record amounts of wibble were on offer. The only sensible conclusion seems to be that no one knows how the A.I. egermency will turn out, but that won't stop the usual suspects from sticking their hands out for cash and trying to drown us in blah.

“Marsman Musk reckons A.I.s will do all jobs eventually. Does that include filling in potholes in roads? Or will A.I.s be able to steer round them? We should be told.” Rhett Rograde
“The only thing that will happen if people don't work is that the amount of bollocks in circulation on auntie-social meeja will multiply exponentially, especially with a generation of A.I.s tasked with commenting on it and creating additional BS.” K. Reekyjoe

Week 9: The L.A. Rams in Green Bay
A slow start by both defences. The GB defence grabbed a fumble in the 12th minute; on to scoring range and a TD for Jones in the first minute of Q2. An end zone shot by Love came to nothing. Boot! in the 13th minute, FG for the Rams, 3-7, leaving GB with time for a long FG try, which was . . . NG.
   In Q3, the Rams recovered a fumble but were sacked to a FG miss. The Packers were sacked to a chip shot FG, 3-10. The GB defence tipped & picked an LA pass, FG after 6 minutes, 3-13. A bomb pass by Love and a great catch got GB to scoring range in the 12th minute. On to a TD for Musgrave, 3-20. Eat the clock and win.

Is Biermat Smarmer going after Tommy Cooper's old job when the Labour lot decide he's too white & male to have any credibility? That has to be why he's trying out a trick poppy.
   When he does a Remembrance Day video for native Brits, it's there and a bright red with leafy green. [But no white so that no one assumes it's a Palestinian flag. Ed.] but when he does one for incomer Moslems, the poppy vanishes!
This is SOP for Labour. The MSP in charge of Scottish Labour, Anass Aahwaaa, also does it for his videos.

Lest we forget:
1. O.J. Corbynstein & lots of Labourites are accused of being anti-Semitic. But they are pals with lots of Arabs. Who are just as Semitic as Jews.
2. The Planet doesn't need saving, it's the people on it who need saving from climate criminals & brainless politicians.

Four is inescapable
“How appropriate that when some entitled smart-arse accuses someone of using a four-letter word which is a 'vile slur', the smart arse is deploying a pair of additional 4-letter words in addition to the one alleged to be objectionable.” Nasser Crasser

The UN is ready to accuse Israel of war crimes in Gaza. But as Israel has the backing of the Untied States, nothing will come of it.
Will the Met police give coffee & biscuits to the vexatious jihadis & Just Snotters who try to wreck Remembrance Day, as they did with the BLAME Bunchers? The world waits with bated breath.
Something the mob eager to sign treaties on A.I. won't want us to remember is that tech travels. How else would Israel, North Korea and everywhere that bought nukes when the Soviet Union fell apart have got their grubby mitts on them?

Q: What's a good way to outrage the Just Snotters?
A: Include a ban of being inside the M25 perimeter around London, and the threat of being locked up if it's ignored, in their bail conditions.
Q: Misodgenistics?
A: People who don't give a sod about anything important. Like self-righteous Just Snotters.

Words for Today recycled: Fakespreader—someone who harvests and spreads fake news in support of a cause, which is usually repellent to decent people. Expect a whole lot more when the A.I.s really get rolling!

An in-depth investigation by Ofcom has found that violence is now compulsory on TV after the 9 p.m. waterfall. In fact, it is nearly as compulsory as gratuitous humpy-pumpy.
People are currently quoting the 'never again' said after World War II, but WW I was supposed to be the war to end all wars. How did that work out?
Leicester city council is working hard to join the list of local authorities which have gone effectively bankrupt through monumental fiscal incompetence and total UseLEZness.
No matter what their apologists squawk, the Mau Mau were the Hamas of their era. No doubt, no apologies to them.

Totally unreliable witness
Is A.I. a threat to 'umanity's future? No way, sez Calamity Clegg, failed UK politician, now a mouthpiece for the Feta aunties of social. So no need for governments to tie up tech companies with laws, sez the Cleggster. Yeah, right.
“Everyone who objects to giving tech giants a free hand is a Luddite & a commie, they're saying. A very communistic attitude from the control freaks is okay?” F. Reelunch

The Wages of Sin "The whole world feels free,   to be nasty to me.   just 'coz I'm crude,   and unspeakably rude." [too effin bad, mate. Ed.]

Lest we forget:
The retired Treasury mandarin who inflicted H2S on the nation came out & admitted back in March 2019 that it was a dreadful idea needed to be scrapped. How long ago is that?

Public Service Announcement He's been called the Blogger of the Decade His intellect is matched only by the size of his luck and the size of his bank balance. And yet he manages to keep his Feet On The Ground with the greatest of ease. Do yourself a favour and find out what Xavier has had to say about what's going on Right Now!

WEEK 2    Putin the ’plate’ into contemplate

 
Sherie Takes Pole Position
“That picture of Desperate Dom Cummings above; was it taken when he was doing his bit for International Chew A Wasp Day?” Swami Chukabutti
“Why should King Chuck have a problem with announcing non-green or even anti-green policies in his King's speech to Parliament? Queen Elizabeth's speeches always made it clear that she was delivering the plans of her government, not her own plans. So why should it be any different for King Chuck?” Incendiary Steamer
“Among the regional Labour politicians yelling for Biermat Smarmer to resign is Manchester's cosmetic mayor, Jonah Burnham. Why is he doing it? Not to poke his nose into the latest war in the Middle East. Jonah reckons that he's in with a chance to taking over as Labour honcho if Smarmer is binned. And that will give the Stafford Hospital guy, who also helped Gordon F. Broon to let all the banks go bust, a chance to inflict further and more disastrous catastrophes on the UK.” Cal Amity

BLAME Bunchers can be common criminals as well as posturing hippocrites. One in Bristol got 2½ years in gaol [out in 6 months? Ed.] for strolling off with 32 grand of charitable donations, leaving the charity in a bankrupt condition and having to shut up shop.

The Trivial party is trying to take over from Labour as the party of the criminal as a 'Notice us, pur-leeese!' tactic. That's the impression from the response to the lor 'n' orda bits of the King's speech.

UK government scrutiny of the likes of Gooble has concluded that tech firms are enlisting A.I.s to prevent those who use their search facilities from getting to news sites where the journalists can be trusted.
   The aim of the techies is to drive news firms out of business by depriving them of revenue and to leave everyone at the mercy of biased & directed wibble created by tech firm A.I. programs.

Today’s Question:
Mentoring or Hectoring by those in public offices—which is better for getting a message across to the useless customers?
Discuss.

The money is talking
The number of chargers for electric vehicles is falling in a number of areas as the service providers do number-crunching and decide to get shot of the chargers which don't make enuff dosh.

No Juice available
How bad is the NHS in Labour-controlled Wales? The Welsh Sec.'s father-in-law, 72, had to hang about for 27 hours after a fall before he could get into a hospital bed.
[Good job he's not 78 or he would have had to wait 87 hours! Ed.]
Lest we forget, the Wokeford shambles in Wales will be Biermat Smarmer's blueprint for the NHS everywhere if he gets to be prime monster. Aaaaagh!

Gob open, must be lying
The number of low-paid workers has fallen from 21.3% of the workforce when Gordon F. Broon & Labour were last in charge (2010) to 8.9% of those in employment now. Which hasn't stopped Biermat Smarmer's deputy, Angular Robot, from lying her head off by claiming things are worse now.

Q: What do you get if you're a drugged-up senior officer in the Polis of the Metrolopis?
A: £400K wages out of a total of the two million quid blown on dragging out the job of investigating you for three bloody years.

When did this first appear in BFN?
Business as usual
The Israeli army is investigating multiple murders of unarmed Palestinians, including women & children, committed during its recent assault on Gaza. The Parliamentary Standards Commissioner in London is standing by in case they need an emergency air-lift of whitewash.
[clue: March 2009, Ed.]
Abuse of Palestinians during the current conflict scenario is going on and being reported by Israeli news media. Further tankerloads of whitewash are in preparation.
Both civilian & military gangs are attacking Palestinian villages on the west bank of the River Jordan.
Whitewash manufacturers in the UK are having to get police protection from Just Snotters, who are objecting to a product with 'white' in its name.

Something else from the Twenty Noughties

Get out of that, you climate criminals and warmage fraudsters.

Everyone darn the same drain
Those pursuing the cause of mindless & unnecessary equality are relieved to hear that the UseLEZ scam in Glasgow is achieving the same result as Sadgeek K'han't's Scam For London.
   Footfall is declining in Scotland's First City, motorists are refusing to pay rip-off parking charges & if the city centre's air becomes as pure as a sea breeze, it will be because all the shops have closed and there is no reason to be there.
[Except for demos, riots with fireworks and other anti-social stuff. Ed.]

PANIC! PANIC! PANIC!
Are we in a cascade of accelerating enviromintal crises? Relax, it's only theGrauniad doombugger G. Monoblot trying to get himself noticed again.
   90% of species will be snuffed out?
Starting with everyone called Monoblot, with any luck!

The printing industry must be making a bomb out of the posters for all the pointless pro-Palestinian agitation. That's pointless because it's just virtue-flagging & trouble making which will be ignored by an Israeli government which, the cynical will say, is trying to make a corruption trial for its prime minister go away.
   The demand for posters must be amazingly high if the snotters and the trade union lunchers are joining in to turn the demos into a left-wing, bring cities to a standstill campaign.

The Rat’s Newsy RoundUp
Rail passengers are paying more and getting less since privatization. And who's to blame? Muck Lunch, the union boss. He's actually admitted it.
50% of the public are scared the A.I.s will eat their job? In what effin' universe?
The mugs running the city of Glasgow's museums are really wallowing in slavery & guilt propaganda, and trying to infect the whole city with them. Like the bunch arseing about, trying to change the name of a stand at Lord's cricket ground in London.
Meanwhile, the woke wibblers in the Untied States are busy confecting rachelism links so that they can rename bird species & pretend they are doing something useful with their avian atrocities.

Impact Analysis
The Bonk of England has had its heads banged together until it has admitted that the prime monster, Sue Knack, has achieved the pledge to halve the rate of inflation before the end of the year two months early.
More head-banging is needed as the BoE stooges are still trying to talk the UK into recession in 2024.

As usual, the police in the usual suspect cities with a high Moslem population are doing nothing much about the Islamist hate preachers.
“Zapping the charity status of the Moslem organizations involved might be the right tool to encourage the people in charge of the mosques to do something about hate speech.” Andrew S. Laughter

The £3.4 BILLION blown between 2016 & 2021 failed to increase bike use and walking as alternatives to swanning about in & on motor vehicles.

Israel is heading rapidly for 14 for 14.
That's 14 thousand dead Palestinians in response to 14 hundred dead Israelis.
At the present rate, another couple of weeks should do it.

Humbug Useless wants the Cenotaph draped with Palestinian flags on Armistice Day? Really? [It's so easy to make up something some people will buy. Ed.]

Esso petrol 147.9p/litre.
Esso diesel 157.9p/litre.
Actually going down even more; but for how long?

Sherie to the Fore
“If we have a pause in anything related to the war in Palestine, could it be a pause in the faux Palestinian marches?” 10day Achoo
“Attacking the police instead of sacking them. Is that really what the Balls-Cooper woman told the House of Common Criminals in a whinge yesterday?” Neat Beverage
[Dodgy diction, Ed.]
“Home Sec. Mrs. Braverperson is doing a grand job of upsetting all the right usual suspects.” Merk Wurdig
“If it All Goes Wrong on Saturday and/or Sunday thanks to trouble kicked up by the faux Palestinians, Blame Smarmer for not getting a grip. And Sadgeek K'han't, the alleged boss of the Polis of the Metrolopis.” Despi Cable
“How come the Untied Nations Organization, which is an unholy den of fraud & corruption, isn't more friendly to Israel, where the regime seems to be out of the same box?” Swami Kastren

Temperatures will be axiomatic for the time of year.
How do they get away with that?

Something goes badly wrong.
What's the current response?
Some bugger declares a ‘major incident'. And that seems to be an acceptable alternative to actually doing anything useful.

Great Alibi:
Anything Israel zaps in Gaza ‘was being used by Hamas'. And if they blow it to enuff bitz; an ambulance or a hospital; there's no way to prove the case one way or the other.
Does anyone think gary bloody lineker knows anything worth knowing about the Israel vs Hamas shindig? No?

Just to be clear, the bitcoin bloke Sam Fried-Egg ain't going to spend 110 years in gaol, no matter how much brain-dead journos plug this line.
What passes for a judicial system in the Untied States is seriously weird.

Recycled from April 2019 as relevant Ed.
“No matter how idiotic or repellent the cause, you can always find a bunch of idiots who are prepared to march in support of it to get themselves noticed. That's the true human tragedy.” A.P.

The mushroom poison cook can't be much cop if she tried and failed to kill her husband four times.
The American Ornithological Society is in the hands of a gang of woke turkeys, who want to rename all the birds after confecting slavery links to their discoverers. Sigh.
The council for Barry, South Wales, has banned a Remembrance Day parade on 'elf 'n' narzi grounds. That's a Labour council, natch. These rules don't apply to gender-benders outings, of course, under Labour logic rulz. It's just more Labour hate for UK values.
Bremoaners are yelling "Foul!" over the revelation that Brexit has not damaged the UK economy terminally, as they were hoping.
Shirk @ Home parents are getting the blame for amazing truancy rates. Their kids are thinking that if their parents can't be bothered to be in the workplace, why should they make the effort?

Recyled ‘If Only’

[Let us hope that if there is another, its crew have a few working brain cells. Ed.]

Romiley has been invaded by phone fraudsters. Yesterday's scam call, allegedly from VISA/Mastercard about a £14.99 Amazon charge and a transfer abroad of £700, came from 0161 430 5116.
   430, as any fule kno, is the 20th century district code for Romiley dating back to the time when phone numbers became all numbers instead of a letter/number combination.

Today’s Question: Are things becoming more polarized or just more po-faced?
[Option B. Ed.]

Favourite-playing all the time
If London's coppers took one knee for the BLAME Bunchers, who support American criminals, will they take both knees for the Faux Pals**, who support terrorists, which are worse than ordinary crims?
[**Faux or Pretend Palestinian marchers, lest we forget. Ed.]

Today’s Other Question: How do you pronounce Acua, as in the name of the GB Views presenter Nana Acua?
[As in Dracula without the ‘Dr' and the ‘l'. Ed.]

Whinge wallahs
The Trivials are claiming that the Tories have broken the NHS, which is total bollocks which ignores the Chinese plague and all the strikes and its utter disaster area managementwise.
   But what are the Trivials going to do about it? Well, nothing, really, as they won't be forming the next government. So what are they for?

Sherie gives the Revolutionaries an Outing
“We need to erect more lamp posts with a crossbar as a matter of urgency. At present, there aren't enuff for the lawyers & politicians. And if we have to include the magistrates & judges who bring the law into disrepute, come the revolution, we'll really be struggling.” Dan Mekon
“Is sleeping in a tent a lifestyle choice? Of course, it is. The UK is overflowing with charities, which are busting a gut for dosh and the chance to shower it on the homeless, whose ranks include people who don't want to jump through a charity's hoops.” Mennal Elf

Israel has revised down the death toll from the October 7th terrorist attack to speed up achieving the equemtocy target. It is now 12 thousand dead Palestinians for 12 hundred dead Israelis.
The Police Federation's endemic bias toward Faux Pals trouble-makers has been described as ‘unacceptable'. No surprise there.
10 million commies & clowns will march through London today!
Budget headache for Met Commish Sir M. Rowley; will his minions be able to afford to keep the marchers supplied with tea & bikkies?

Don’t use their CrApp!
The NatWest banksters are ordering their customers to become veggies and go in for electric cars on pain of being Faraged. They are also creating a sinister chatbot which will have access to all sorts of data about customers, irrespective of whether they have given Xplicit consent for the data to be used.

The 5 Just Snotters who wrecked a performance of Les Miserables would be liable for the theatre's losses of £80K if the courts were to do their duty. But like that's going to happen.

Apparently, the BierBC feels a need to report what someone meant to say rather than their actual words.
Translation: The BierBC reserves the right to make up stuff which supports the BierBC's agenda of the moment and its ludicrous leftness generally.

but when are the doombuggers going to start doing a whinge about dark matter making The Universe Xpand too rapidly and claim we need to shower BILLIONs on them and their plans to slow down the Xpansion?

Backlash against balderdash
An enormous gang of people in their right mind is preparing to zap the medical trade's notion that kids can ditch their gender as easily as a pair of out-of-fashion trainers.
“If supposedly educated people think biological sex is a matter of opinion & fashion, why should anyone be surprised that the iggorant masses think American fiction about the Royals has any connection with actual history?” Prinsan Dru

Today’s Question:
What chance does artificial intelligence have against endemic natural stoopidity?

CFL East Final: the Albertines in T’ronno, as last year
The Argos reached the MTL 7, only to see a pick-6 go the other way!! All defence into Q2, when Kelly was sacked on a 3rd & goal @ the MTL 4.
   A long FG in the 7th minute got the Argonauts to 7-3. A long kick from Cote, 10-3. Fajardo was picked doing a daft pass in the last minute of the half. A forced fumble gave the ball right back to the Als, nothing from it.
   A pick in the 3rd minute of Q3 stopped the Argos. A penalty turned an Alouette FG try into a TD opportunity, 17-3. A struggling Kelly was picked in the 7th minute, nowt from it. Then a pick-6 a couple of minutes later, 24-3.
   The Argos got to the MTL 1 in Q4, TD, 24-10. A punt returned for a TD put the Als 31-10 ahead. Daniels with a TD the other way, 31-17. The Als got to the TA 12 in the 14th minute, TD, 38-17 final. Wow!!

At least one Xpert reckons that the Baroness Hallett ‘inquiry' into how the Chinese plague was tackled has already gone from comedy to farce. And it has how many more years of gobbling up taxpayers' dosh to go?
Some of the top gooks on Wall Street in the Untied States are trying to talk the attacks on Ukraine & Gaza into the road to a global recession. Presumably 'coz they think they can make lotza dosh out of it.

Lest We Forget:
1. The ludicrous left definition of poverty has now degenerated to the point where it claims that someone is living in poverty if someone else has more than himer. So that if everyone gets an income rise of 1,000%, the same number of people will remain in poverty.
2. Forget all the ludicrous left BS about Broke Britain. If the UK's wimmin are top of the pops in the World League of Binge Boozers, then there has to be buckets of cash sloshing around.

A survey by a firm selling online tuition has found that parents don't remember a lot of the stuff they had to learn for exams at school.
   Which just confirms the well-known fact that information that is no longer used regularly falls into the brain's cracks and becomes unavailable.

CFL West Final: the BC Lions in Winnipeg,
   fog or fireworks?
The Lions started with a FG. Lots of Olivera, and he was shoved into the BC end zone, 3-7. More Olivera into Q2, the Blue Bombers were sacked to a FG miss for a single, 3-8.
   A blocked punt shambles ended in a TD for the BB, 3-15. A FG in the 10th minute put them 3-18 up. A Hail Mary to the BB goal by Adams @ 0:00 was batted into the arms of Rhymes!! 10-18.
   Castillo hit the right upright with a BB FG try half way through Q3. BC was sacked to a FG, 13-18. A BC drive into Q4 ended in a pick. The BB were stopped at the BC 2, FG, 13-21. Adams sacked again, punt. A challenge kept the BB going to a FG and 13-24. Another sack on Adams, 3rd down pick, the end.

Twaddle on tap
The BS about Booze Britain is just that, BS. The Britisch consumption of ethanol in 2021 has been guesstimated @ the equivalent of 111 bottles of wine.
   When you consider that a quarter-bottle glass of wine with dinner adds up to 91 bottles per year, the figure of 111 bottles leaves 20 over for birthdays, Xmas, New Year's Eve and other celebrations.
   Which ain't excessive.

Q: Why doesn't the UN work?
A: Because of the veto that lets the US allow its stooges, e.g. Israel, get away with anything, and China & Russia do the same for their stooges. If truth is the first casualty of war, then decency has to be the first casualty of politics.
Q: What are events that will upset the BierBC good & proper?
A: Things like the Home Sec. not getting the sack just 'coz BierBC stooges are demanding it and the UK not going into recession for the whole of 2024.
Q: Does anyone give a rat's arse about the BierBC's weaseling of Chancellor Hunt the Stunt's limp comments about the views of Home Sec. Mrs. Braverperson on the Metropolitan Police Farce?
A: Not even a photo of a rat's arse taken from a range of 400 million miles.

Not an enduring mystery
The reason why the billions wasted by the government & local councils isn't persuading people to get a bike or walk more has been revealed. Snoflakes can't stand getting wet. It's as simple as that.

The Right to Offend
The Good, the Bad & the Ignorant—overwhelmingly, the last—was the verdict on the weekend street-snarlers, who achieved Net Zero as far as deciding what to do about the Palestinian version of the IRA and the corrupt regime in Israel is concerned.

The Left to Offend
The people doing most of the marching are being dismissed as mainly the scum of the Earth as imported by New Labour. They have no respect for Britisch values, and they are just idiots useful to the ludicrous left. Something else to thank t.b. liar & his creature the mandelsleaze for.

Problem Pillocks
The Faux Pals and similar gangs have been diagnosed as having Futile Attention Seeking Syndrome. They are driven to be part of a cause & gain attention, and its futility is not seen as a disincentive to rampaging around, making a fool of themselves.
“Are the faux Palestinian marchers going to head for Gaza to do the rebuilding work when all the Hamas have been killed? That should ease the housing egermency crisis here a bit.” Erdogan Sideways
“The headline plus story we'd really, really like to see is one about a vandal who was spotted spraying a moronic slogan onto a war memorial being shot dead by a mystery sniper.” Searl Ingram
[Possibly Panamanian? See VNN below, Ed.]

Apple has won the Piss-Take of the Month Award by shoving its TV subscription price up by 30ish per cent in December.

The laser beam of truth
If you take a close look at who the Faux Pals are and what they're saying, you see a bunch of ludicrous lefties who don't give the proverbial for Palestinians. They're just using them as an Xcuse for demanding an end to the abomination that is the state of Israel. Which is a total waste of time, money and effort as long as the Untied States is on Team Israel.

Are we heading for a Worst Outfit of the Year contest? One featuring at least the BLAME Bunchers, the Faux Pals, the Snotters and a few others? It will make wonderful Xmas viewing.
“Stick in individual sections for the likes of gabby bloody lineker & C. Vorderperson, and you have the makings of an hour-long filler. Okay, it won't be a patch on a Morcambe & Wise Xmas Special but it will be a change from the usual diet of repeats if it's on the BierBC.” Odjob Siliam

Insurance giant Lloyds of London to fling £52 million @ slavery scroungers.
Rail strikes off; Muck Lunch & Co. outflanked by government minimum service level requirement laws.
John Lewis superstore chain gets away with making a giant carnivorous plant its symbol of Xmas.
“Greed triumphant over the M&S message of just enjoy yourself?” Twice Pylon
Panamanians have the right attitude to Just Snotters who block roads; shoot the bastards!
One of them there surveys is giving coffee & wine drinkers an Xcuse to scoff more of both as their effects cancel out when it comes to getting a good night's sleep.
The BierBC has ditched C. Vorderperson for rule-breaking political rants but gbl is safe as the rulz don't apply to him.

Q: What do you get if you're a government minister and you're right about police favouritism?
A: If you're Mrs. Braverperson and the prime monster is a Snackstabber, the sack.
“The police should act without fear or favour, we are told. But since new labour corrupted the tops cops, they now have no fear of doing the looney left endless favours.” Derik Upward
“The police must be completely neutral and protect everybody. They don't get to play favourites, we are told. In what universe?” Ag Ronomical

Snivel servant M. Sedwill claims he has bite marks from President Boris. Is he attempting to claim that the reason no one has made similar claims about himself is due to the fact that Sedwill is toothless?
NOTE: Sedwill was sussed as a BG years ago, which Xplains why he became known as Sedillwill.

The Green Bay Packers in Pittsburgh
A power opener gave the Steelers a TD. A great end zone catch by Doubs, 7-all. The Steelers drove into to Q2 for another TD, 7-14. And a FG after 7 minutes, 7-17. A bomb pass from Love to Reed in the end zone on a 3rd & 16 gave GB a TD but the PAT try was blocked. 13-17.
   A good Q3 kick off return by GB got them to PS territory, on to the red zone, FG, 16-17. Another gave the Pack a 19-17 lead. One for the Steelers after 14 minutes, 19-20. Another 10 minutes in to Q4, 19-23. GB got close but a pass to the end zone was deflected to the Steelers. The Packers were left with a minute to score. They got to the PS 16 but a pass to the end zone was picked. Groan.

"Ah study the stars @ work for me . . ." Groan.
   Don't you wish the Open bloody University would go with a different ViewTube advert and bin this one?

If the cease-fire demanders in London don't know that no one is listening to them, they're idiots and may be ignored. If they do know no one is listening, that makes them just vexatious attention-seekers and just as pointless as idiots.
“The whole thing has become a self-perpetuating shambles. People with nothing useful to do wandering around on the streets in big gangs. What we need is a lot of heavy rain, sleet, hail or heavy snow with a big freeze.” D. Servin
“Proxy war or poxy war?” Ak Tual

The alleged news meeja are being booted seven ways from sunset for confecting megatons of BS and plain old wibble about the Armistice Day street snarlers & claiming there were millions of sinister but imaginary far-righters on the streets when the ludicrous anti-Semmites hadn't left any room for more than a handful of rivals.

Q: Is it fair to call Chancellor Hunt the Stunt ‘monochrome'?
A: It is grossly unfair to monochrome, which is infinitely more colourful than the Stunt.

Quality deficit
King Chuck got a good booting from those who bother about their country's image for not knowing what terrorist bastards the Mau Mau gangsters in Kenya were. Shame his minions failed to put him wise.
   But maybe, as for lotz of other things, you can't get decent quality minions any more and that's why he ended up looking like a prethetic apologetic chump and a right Charlie.

A fair question
"Activists have to be where the harm is being done," the eco-Grotter yobs were yelling back in July. So what are the Faux Pals & Just Snotters doing messing about in Britisch cities?

WEEK 3    Putin the ‘rude’ into obtrude

 
Let us be clear. No blame can be attached to any organization in the UK if invaders, who are trying to cross the Channel in an unseaworthy craft, sink and drown. Their choice, their responsibility.
“If the bloody French can be allowed to get away with ignoring suicidal migrants, we should be entitled also.” Searl Ingram

The NatWest bank crApp tells its mugs things like buying a 15-quid frock @ a high street shop is the equivalent of putting 15 kg of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere.
   What's that compared to the amount dumped out every single second of every bloody day by power stations in China, India, South America, Russia, the US, etc.? Fuck all.
   And compared to the 930 godzillion quadronium megatons of carbon dioxide already in the atmosphere? Ditto. It's as simple as that.

Pillocks in action
The Office for Notional Sadistics is getting a booting for allowing a gang with the agenda of inflating the apparent number of sexual variants to create questions that went in to the 2021 census.
   This follows an admission by the ONS that its data on transpicaters is hopelessly wrong as immigrants who haven't bothered to become fluent in Englisch bogged up ticking the correct boxes on the census form.

Q: What do you get if Humbug Useless takes charge of the massive clearing up operation needed after Storm Vavet wrecked bitz of Scotland 3 weeks ago?
A: A committee which can't be arsed to meet and no sign of any clean-up cash being made available.

“The Hedge Hitlers who have objected to the M&S Xmas TV advert encouraging people to think of Number One seem to be getting a good booting from real people.” X. Claim

Slag off the Pope and get the bullet. A Texas bishop dared to do it on auntie-social meeja and he ain't bishoping no more!

Q: Why is Scottish salmon so expensive?
A: A campaign group would have us believe that greenwashing fees paid by fish farmers to the RSPCA's Scottish equivalent for its approval [nominal & worthless, allegedly, ] play a significant part in what the consumer pays.

People who Skive @ Home and keep their heating on through the day are killing their house plants via heat exhaustion, an Xpert has concluded. Which is pretty good news for the people who sell replacements for the dried-up corpses!

Sherie Bounces Back
“Lord Dave the Leader as Foreign Sec.? That will be Dave going round with his notebook asking foreigners what they want done for them and deluging the Snackstabber with a mountain of lists of ways to throw our money down foreign drains. And filling the lad's inventive brain with a multitude of ways to sneak the YewKay back into the EFU. Super.” Britt Neespeers
“Police farces that have arrested people for imaginary hate crimes, and also ones that are non-hate crimes, have no Xcuse for letting real hate criminals fill the streets of our major cities.” Cal Virility
“What were police officers doing, posing for a photo with a little kid who was dressed up to look line an October 7th Hama terrorist? And how come the two uniforms didn't arrest each other for perpetrating a hate crime?” Con Viction
“I wonder if Mrs. Braverperson could have agitated the Balls-Cooper woman so much that her head Xploded like that one early in the film Scanners? That would deferably have gone viral on ViewTube! And depriving us of it is another crime on the Snackstabber's charge sheet.” Catr Vandiesneuf

More trouble on the way
The Youropeon airline industry is bracing itself for another Icelandic Episode. There's a state of egermency in force 30 miles from the capital, Reykyavik, & residents of a town near where the Fagradalsfjall volcano is Xpected to erupt have been evacuated.
   The last Icelandic Episode cost airlines £2.5 BILLION with nary a red cent of compenbloodysation from the Icebergers.
This volcano was dormant for 6,300 years before getting indigestion in 2019 as a belated protest against Brexit.

The Scottish government's fave solution to gorbal warmage—that's installing an electric heat pump that doesn't heat your home instead of a gas boiler that does—is being offered as the way forward by Humbug Useless and his crew. Like that's going to work.

Lest We Forget:
Most of the stuff you see on the internet is total garbage. But not BFN, of course.

The boilermakers' union is trying to create an Xmas shortage of Iron Rocks** by calling a strike at the factory which makes the chocolate coating for them.
[**Ferrero Rocher, Ed.]

Rat’s RoundUp
Politician of the Year: Suella Braverperson, binned for being right, sacked for doing her job.
The Snackstabber is being booted up the bum for being cute with the verité. He was getting ready to stick his knife in Mrs. Braverperson's back before her Snackslosher article in The Times was published.
Snackstabber's Niedergang. How long before he's off to spend more time with his hundreds of millions?
"I'm outa here!" Dave the Quitter [right] in 2016 after bogging up Bremoan.
++ Sinister Bremoaner smuggled into prime monster's Downing Street lair for drinkies & an instant peerage ++ Nothing good can come from this ++
“Is the Snackstabber trying to level the political playing field before the next general election by making the Conservatives as unelectable as Smarmer Labour?” R. Jerfeel
“Will the Snackstabber & Smarmer still both be party figureheads come the next general election?” M. Ento

Hutter, Hutter, he’s a nutter!
P. Picasso is reported as saying "I paint objects as I think them, not as I see them." Which suggests that he went out of his mind not long before World War One started. Not that the artist's sanity troubled whoever paid $135 MILLION for The Woman With A Watch (1932) at a sale this month.

Less is always less, no matter how much spin is applied
The Muck Lunch mugs & other rail industry strikers will get less from their new, wonderful pay deal than they would have received had they carried on working as per what passes for normal.
   Not that Mr. Lunch & his peers are bovvered about destroying public trust in the rail industry and reducing job opportunities for their members. They got to screw the Britisch public around royally, like the pocket Putins they are, and that's all they're interested in.

Storm Devi was nothing much here. Where do the Met Office Morons get these names anyway? How many people does anyone know called Devi?

Lest We Forget recycled from May 2019:
The Warmists tell us that greenhouse gases in the atmosphere are causing a climate emergency and ignore the plain fact that it's the Sun which sets the agenda. Tinkering with carbon dioxide production is as ineffective as it is ruinously expensive.

Put up or shut up time
Failing to show the world the tunnels alleged to be under Gaza's biggest hospital has led to suspicion that the IOF is busy digging to create something for its propaganda wing to show off.
   Just a small section of tunnel will suffice if the IOF claims the rest is too damaged and dangerous for meeja moochers to visit.

Nothing spreads like sheer stoopidity
A school in Wales has felt obliged to send letters to the parents of its customers assuring them that litter trays will NOT be made available to daft kids who pretend to be a cat. This is in response to 6 months' Wibble on the Web.

Park a Spectralizer™ adjustable reading lamp beside
your keyboard and Zap Bacteria as you type!
Adjustable arm & brightness control for reading documents,
books and newspapers
++ Half Price Offer Now On! ++
Romiley Readers, 17 Cootts Drive, Higher Romiley

Chancellor Hunt the Stunt is to lead a clampdown on woke morons in the snivel service. That's bound to be a huge success. Especially as newly shifted from the FO J. Cleverbloke is promising to be unBraverperson and cosy up to the snivel service Blobists @ the Home Office.
   Sounds like he will be in direct competition with E. McVey, who has been appointed to the job of Commonsense Tsar and charged with rooting out wokist saboteurs.
Some 17% of the snivel service is currently wasting taxpayers' dosh on wokist bollocks.

Commenteur
What they need to do is give Creaky Joe Biden one of those exoskeleton outfits; at least for his legs; then he might not humiliate the Great American People so often by falling over @ every slight irregularity.
   Strap on a remote control system for his minions, and at least he'll be able to face the right direction after one of his rambling speeches cum embarrassing Xamples of memory loss.

Q: Does it matter if Smarmer's front bench Xplodes over a demand for a cease fire in Gaza which will be ignored there?
A: Nope.
Q: Will Smarmer struggle to assemble a new front bench?
A: Of course, not. All the bunkers are non-entities and there will always be stooges going for the Xtra cash on offer. All just as useless as the ones who quit, of course.
Q: Will this internal strife be an ishue @ the next general election?
A: It will be ancient history by then.

MBI or Management By Irrelevance
A BT boss thinks telling her minions that they shouldn't kick against losing their jobs to A.I.s is a Good Idea. Why? 'Coz horses didn't moan about being replaced by motor vehicles & they didn't go on strike.
   Might this have had something to do with equines not having Muck Lunch equivalents in their ranks? Or concepts such as replacement, redundancy and strike?

Esso petrol 146.9p/litre.
Esso diesel 156.9p/litre.
A penny at a time, still going down.

In case you were wondering, the police in London aren't playing favourites with their approach to terrorism supporters. They are merely "trying to positively engage" with the bad guys, according to a spokes.
“How strange they feel no need to do the same with their millions of imaginary right-wingers.” Rieshane Didley
“As D. Lawson of the Daily Disaster pointed out, the looney left marching here in 2002 didn't stop t.b. liar from joining in with the Dubya Bush invasion of Iraq to zap Sadman Insane's imaginary Weapons of Mass Deception. Like the looneys of 2023 will have any influence at all on decisions made in Jerusalem or Gaza.” Pos Turer

The Notional Health Service is fighting back with an accusation that wimpy customers are wrecking things by clogging up the GP system when they have something trivial, like a cold, an insect bite or a headache. The NHS would like them to consult Dr. Internet instead and/or take a non-prescription medicine.
GPs are doing their bit by trying to discourage the offline elderly by allowing appointments to be booked online only.

Propaganda Views:
Hamas is losing its grip on Gaza, sez Israel.
Israel is getting nowhere in Gaza, sez Hamas.
Free Palestine with every 5 gallons

Wonks running riot
The Notional Truss is getting a well deserved booting for issuing an inclusivity & wellbeing calendar which Xcludes the Christian festivals of Xmas & Easter.
   Every other weird religion from around the world has been trawled up, natch, as part of the NT policy of focussing on foreigners, sexual variants & slavery @ the expense of the Britisch nation.
“Sounds like it's time to revive the good old Halifax Gibbet, England's inspiration for the French guillotine. I'm sure customers would pay good money to see it demonstrated on the NT's worst offenders!” Thing E. Smith

Asinine (or is it ten?) Agenda
Forsaking historic buildings & landscapes, the NT is more interested in brainwashing its elderly & young members with claptrap & hogwash, mostly about slavery at the moment, but when the steam runs out of that scam, there will be another along. You can count on it.

Q: BCE? Which the wokists seem to think is the bee's knees calendarwise?
A: Before Chump Encirclement

Under ludicrous left rulz, "The will of the people" in Britain can be Xpressed by 0.28% of the adult population and the rest can be safely ignored by politicians.

The sinister agenda of the Corbynsteiners in the Labour party has been Xposed. They will campaign for Labour @ the next general election and after they've won, they will bin Corbynstein's Monster in favour of the creator.

What lovely people wokists are
A literary project of doubtful merit is using funds provided by the Scittisch government to put woke books into schools. The campaigners are determined to make kids think that white people deliberately created rachelism just in order to be nasty to foreigners and their descendants here.

The beach @ Newquay in Cornwall was closed after a dead whale was found at the tide line. The closure was ordered because the authorities were advised that the corpse could Xplode!
   The Xplosion hazard turns out to be based on something that happened to a dead whale on a beach in the Untied States 50 years ago, and the authorities were worried about gangs of lurkers hoping to be able to put a viral video of the same happening here on the interweb.

Romiley News
This year, the Xmas tree in Romiley Park has just a few chains of unapologetic white privilege lights. No Palestinian reds & greens, no Israeli blues—presumably to give the usual rioters no Xcuse to come here and wreck the joint, like they do.
   There may also be black lights as a gesture of tokenality, but you would need special goggles to convert the output to wavelengths visible to the 'uman eye.

The SpaceX Big Bugger launch system got off the ground right at the start of 20 minute launch window in Texas for its second test flight early in Saturday afternoon GMT.
The Super Heavy booster Xperienced an unscheduled Xplosion event after a successful separation from the Starship vehicle.
Accountant's nightmare: eight minutes in to the flight of the vehicle, SpaceX lost contact with it and the Ship component's computer blew it up over the Atlantic to prevent a shower of fraudulent insurance claims, which would have deluged Marsman Musk's enterprise had the Ship landed on a bit of Africa.

Entitlement Rulz or It’s Not His Dosh
The bloke behind the campaign to put Corbynstein's Monster into the Labour party's top job has cost his campaign gang a paltry 14 grand after neglecting to declare 730 grand in donations.
   There is clearly a lot of dosh sloshing around what is supposed to be the party of the impecunious common person.

Q: Bier Smarmer has been declared an ocean-going dud & a dangerous one. What does that mean?
A: An iceberg like the one that sank the Titanic? And possibly one the Snackstabber is too dim or not bovvered to avoid.

Mucho aggro generator
Heat pumps produce noise levels similar to those created by a fridge-freezer when busy. Xperts are now warning the government that its lunatic plan to stick one on every home will fuel a rash of complaints about noise pollution and a surge in suburban violence between neighbours.

Mugging the mugs with any old rubbish
The veggieburger lobby is hoping to bin inconvenient food safety regulations to make their products cheaper, whilst maintaining profit margins, and more able to compete with much more nutritious meat products. The usual garbage about Saving The Planet is being deployed to baffle the gullible.

Northumberland police farce has all but admitted aiding a campaign of vexation waged by Newcastle United FC against a fan, who dared to point out that blokes who call themself a woman are still blokes.
“Maybe they need the Stunt Treatment dropped on them from a great height and some substantial personal fines for gross misconduct in a public office.” Shir LaBoutique

Spain has joined France in moaning about the EFU's restrictions on Britisch tourists as Brexit revenge. They don't appreciate the EFU damaging the economy of both member nations.

“A Sky newsperson called the Snackstabber's reshuffle a damp squid. Does that mean she thinks it will become something delicious after the squid has been sliced and cooked with a tasty sauce? And maybe some chips on the side?” Lee Vrage

We were told that there's a vast underground tunnel complex beneath Gaza's main hospital.
We were shown 9 Kalashnikov assault rifles + magas and a couple of flak jackets.
Spot the difference.

The professor who's the medical director of NHS England has been accused of presiding over a culture of pointless box-ticking. Consultants are made to neglect the customers for an annual pilgrimage to do tests which are something an 8-year-old child can manage.

The climate swindlers keep telling us that the price of electricity from occasionals has fallen dramatically. What they don't mention, however, is the MASSIVE subsidies paid to wind & solar farms.
   Which means that they still have one hell of a long way to go before they can compete on a fair price basis with proper power stations.

“Maybe we should be putting vexatious Moslems into Chinese style re-education camps to prevent them from making nuisances of themselves and committing vandalism.” Padris Ugans

Is Labour still intent on nationalizing the water industry @ one-third of the price the industry puts on itself using cash borrowed @ a crazy interest rate?
   We should be told if this Big Idea is still hidden away on their to-do list.

“This is getting really effin' boring. We're just reliving 2019. All the same stuff over again. What we need is something noo!” Ter Minal
“The usual useless bastards were bellyaching about the slave trade back then. They're in no danger of running out of whinges, it seems.” Cid Hudlink

Note: When senior police officers claim it is illegal to talk about policemen, they are lying. And they know it.

The Labour party remains united—against Bier Smarmer!
The Snackstabber is getting a booting for making the wonk who signed off on the ‘hundred genders BS' for schools his new schools minister. More & worse BS for schools can be the only outcome.
The Snackstaber is in the pocket of Big Tech. Dave the Leader is in China's wallet and the Lords are yelling for unrestricted migration, no matter what it costs the peasants. Is there anyone in the Palace of Westmonster with Britain's interests at heart?, the nation is demanding to know.
“The Snackstabber is proving that an enormously successful banker doesn't have what it takes to be an in-touch prime monster. Just as Beer Smarmer is proving that a failed lawyer has nothing much to offer as a substitute for the Snackstabber.” Prag Mattique

A long march
The Notional Health Service making a pledge to make cervical cancer history by 2040 has the advantage that none of the gang of promising The Earth will be around to cop for the blame when the pledge ain't delivered.
Trainee medics are to be let loose on monstrously o'bese dummies to prepare them for dealing with the o'bese nation of customers.

What’s the height of stoopidity?
How tall is Bier Smarmer? is the obvious response. But a close second in the competition is a charity which focusses on diseases of the reproductive system of actual women appointing as its figurehead, a 71-year-old bloke who's claiming to be a woman.
“What, one has to wonder, is the agenda of an old bloke in a frock, who's claiming he's passionate about a charity concerned with a disease which affects the womb of women?” Binh Liner
“It's obviously a fight-back against the monstrous regiment of wimmin. Blokes are pretending to be wimmin to take over the top jobs in female organizations in order to boss them about, which the bloke think is the natural order of things.” Am Persand

The L.A. Chargers in Green Bay
The Bolts scored first with a FG with about a minute left in Q1. Reed got a block and a TD in the first minute of Q2, 3-7. One for the Bolts after 3 minutes, 10-7. A bad snap to Love, a missed FG try by the Pack. Another shot at the end of the half went through, 10-all.
   Herbert got the Bolts to & goal in Q3 but a third down pass was dropped at the goal line. FG instead, 13-10 in the 5th minute. A sack blasted GB out of FG range. TD for Watson from the next drive, 13-16, PAT NG!!
   In Q4, the Bolts got to the GB 2 then fumbled the ball away. Nothing from it. Herbert did some running, TD for the Chargers in the 10th minute, 20-16. DPI helped the Pack keep going when a 3rd & 20 play flopped, on to a TD for Doubs, 20-23. 2½ minutes left. Despite a rash of GB penalties no more scoring.

The BierBC wants us to believe that humans are ape descendants, not that we share common ancestors but there was a divide in the common line of descent. No thinking persons are surprised.
   Also, Creaky Joe is getting a booting for being truthful and pointing out that President Eleven of China is a dicktater. No thinking persons are surprised.

What sort of an idiot wants to shave his skull this close? ——>

The nation falls over in amazement. Some coppers actually busted some vexatious Just Stoppers when they just started blocking a road.

Q: Do we believe the line that Dr. Violence is spinning about President Boris & the Chinese plague?
A: It's all about him and making himself look good, that's what we have to remember.

The thing about all the ‘Xperts' who are spouting @ the Chinese plague circus is that they are pontificating with the benefit of hindsight; something not available when life & death decisions were being made; and offering dodgy advice to President Boris. Hindsight remains something that won't be on offer when the next plague arrives.

Grey Cup 110, the Blue Bombers vs the Alouettes
First points to the Blue Bombers, a FG. A penalty kept the BB going to a TD for Olivera after 12 minutes, 10-0. The Als had a pylon dive TD at the end of the quarter, 10-7. The Bombers were going well in Q2 when they coughed up a fumble. Nothing from it. A botched punt catch put the BB at the MTL 29 after 10 minutes. On to a TD dive over the pile for Prukop, 17-7. 3rd & goal or bust for the Als from the WPG 1 in the last seconds of the half. Bust.
   In Q3, A one-handed catch got the Als close, TD pass from the BB 23, 17-14. A pass towards Lawler in the MTL end zone was picked off! In Q4, the BB picked off a deep pass. Sack on Collards, punt. The Als came back with a TD drive, 17-21. A power drive by the BB ended with another TD for Prukop, 24-21. A TD drive by the Als put them 24-28 ahead with 11 seconds to go. A pass and a desperation boot toward the goal was fielded by the Als @ 0:00. A famous victory for them.

Today’s Question:
Skive Diving for Charity—WTF is that all about?

Scotland's health sec. pro tem is getting a good booting, as is his boss H. Useless, over trying to do the taxpayer for 11 grand of roaming charges run up by his kids when he was on holiday abroad.

H’elf Noos
The NHS is busting a gut to get customers over 65 onto its dementia list.
The Xperts are now claiming that nutz are better than eggs for breakfast. One big problem, though. How do you tell if nutz are hard- or soft-boiled? And omelettes? Forget it.
Physician associates, who have some medical training but aren't doctors, are filling gaps in the NHS. They are also creating embarrassing statistics for serious & preventable accidents, and customers are dying as a result of PAs making diagnoses beyond their competence without monitoring.

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WEEK 4    Attachin the ‘sap’ & the ‘strip’ to ling

 
A real money-spinner?
Some bright spark could make a fortune out of selling to youngies, pocket phones lacking a speaker & a microphone. Snoflakes prefer talking by text rather than voice, the people who do surveys about this sort of thing reckon.

“Are we really in a costa living crisis if people are still able to booze heroically and get enormously o'bese? Intelligence rather than money is what is in short supply.” Y. Pout

Putrid's "3 days to get the job done" invasion of Ukraine is now being seen as an action replay of World War I with fronts in stalemate, Putinstani minefields 5 or 10 miles deep and with wet autumn transitioning to frozen winter.

Does anyone in the Middle East give a rat's arse over the Scottish Parliament voting for a cease fire in Gaza? Something which, let us not forget, is outwith the SNP's power to command.

Last November:
Esso petrol 159.9p/litre.
Esso diesel 181.9p/litre.
Today:
Esso petrol 145.9p/litre.
Esso diesel 155.9p/litre.

Must do better
The square hole in the ground; allegedly under a hospital in Gaza and shown off by the IOF; wasn't Xactly impressive. It didn't appear to go anywhere other than straight down, or to have any means of getting up and down it.
   How come we didn't get a guided tour of the alleged vast complex of command & control bunkers down below? That would have been something worth seeing. If there's anything like that to see.

Q: If half of voters associate Labour with lower taxes, what is this based on? Certainly nothing Labour has ever done in office.
A: The headline is based on the Daily Disaster moving the goal posts. One-third of those surveyed were idiots who associate Labour with lower taxes rather than robbing us blind.
   The one-half is actually the proportion of respondents who think taxes should be lowered right now by the present government and nothing to do with Labour.
Q: Why can't being a scumbag in a public place be made a crime aimed @ the yobs who climb on war memorials, deface buildings, etc.?
A: Because the courts would end up jammed solid with coppers who were arrested by citizens for failing to arrest vexatious scumbags.
Q: Feeble Friday; what's that all about?
A: Nothing you need bother about.

As his first Big Idea in his new job as Foreign Sec., the former Dave the Leader will be urging us to hug a foreign hoodie and shower it with bucketfuls of our dosh.
   Dippy Dave is a well-earned sub-title.

Gone today, back tomorrow
All the breathless shock-horror about Bier Smarmer's front bench quitters has been Xposed as being the usual suspects flouncing out, as they do regularly, in the Xpectation that they will be allowed to flounce back to the trough after a token period of dieting.
   The less important or relevant the ishue, the bigger the flounce.

Lest we forget:
1. Four years ago, it was "Labour will bring the country together" with ‘in abject poverty and utter contempt of O.J. Corbynstein' understood. Now, substitute the Monster for Corbynstein.
2. All the recent front-bench flouncing over the irrelevant vote on a cease fire in Gaza was to make the flouncers look good to their local Moslem voters and nothing to do with principles and stuff like that.
3. Labour is the party of balance. Its zero-tolerance policy on racialism and sexual assaults is balanced by a zero-action policy on investigations.

Today's Question:
If, like J.B. Zos, the honcho of Amazon, you have a supery acht that sails on just wind power, what do you do it you're in the middle of the ocean and the wind don't blow?

The appalling Burrell has been booted by the Daily Disaster for persisting in bigging himself @ the Xpense of the late Princess Di. Which is something that the DD's crew does on a regular basis. Which reduces Burrell to just one member of a herd of hippocrites.

Lotz of judgement, all fawlty
The alleged health Xperts of NICE are in trouble for suggesting that those with menopausal problems could benefit from a good talking to. The trouble arose because NICE is including in its advice, blokes who never had a menostart and who are therefore not candidates for a pause.

Lest we forget, this is what Labour is all about:
Land for the Many, Controlled by the Few in the Labour Party, All Taxed to the Hilt.

It snot complexicated
What is the point, the pundit asked, of removing free NHS dental service from benefit tourists when they are not available to most people, including the paying customers?
   It's all very simple.
   Cancelling something that doesn't Xist is the politician's dream. It lets them say they're doing something wonderful without having to lift a finger or make the slightest effort.

Things we are invited to believe:
1. The fashion industry is responsible for 10% of global carbon emissions.
2. China's regime spends more dosh on spying on its customers than on its armed forces.

Sherie Has Some Ripe Ones
“If cash is in short supply there, as we're also being invited to believe, no doubt the people doing the spying in President Eleven's Chinese people's paradise will be tasked with spying on themselves to keep costs down.” Rojam Beau
“Okay, there's this Icelandic volcano that's going to dump so much crap into the atmosphere that we will have 50 frozen years before it all clears. But all the volcano has delivered is a few earthquakes and a few collapsed bits of road. Which ain't that bloody much. Certainly not worth all the wibble.” Shell Visage
“Circus Whitty after Dr. Violence @ the Chinese plague circus. Wot a pair! Wot a double act.” Tigum Sêté

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Year-round things to do in abundance
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Q: Do you have to be any good at your chosen speciality if you tout yourself as a self-proclaimed Xpert?
A: If a bloke who claims to be an Xpert on the Loch Ness monster can say it doesn't Xist, which fails to grasp that Nessie is like a God—a concept rather than an actuality—then it is clear that the bar is set particularly low for this pastime.

Does it seem unusually quiet in Gaza? Are Israel & Hamas Xchanging hostages at a rate of 3 for 1? A 4- or 5-day cease fire, depending on source, was supposed to start today. Maybe.

Clunking noise Xplained
Westminster council has had its boneheads banged together to make it put appropriate apostrophes on street signs to indicate a possessive. The council stopped doing this as part of a dumbing down agenda, which seems to be all too common in what passes for government locally.
The reason given for the abandonment of apostrophes in street signs is that illiterate computer programmers fail to include apostrophes in names as valid characters and their defective programs create error messages and even more ‘computer say no' aggro when people try to enter their address into an online form.

Q: What is a good way to annoy coppers who are deadlegs?
A: Address them as ‘Officer Warren' and let them find out it's warren as in ‘warren arsehole'.

Week 12: The Pack in Detroit
The first play was a monster pass from Love to scoring range! On to a TD for Reed. One back for the Lions but the PAT missed. 7-6. GB staged a walk-in TD after 13 minutes, 14-6. WTF! The Lions promptly fumbled the ball away and the GB defence took it in for a TD. 20-6. Another fumble to . . . GB. Nowt from it.
   In Q2, GB kicked a FG after 9 minutes, 23-6. The Lions were stopped on 4th down in the 13th minute. A GB FG try to close the half was NG. Swiss cheese facing the Lions in Q3, TD in the 4th minute, +2, 23-14. A fake punt didn't work for the Lions. Another TD for GB, no +2, 29-14. A 4th down sack stopped the Lions.
   In Q4, the Lions went out on 4th & 7 up close. Love made a huge run, nothing from it. The Lions managed a TD +2 in the last minute, 29-22. GB fielded the on-side kick try. Game over. Phew!

1. The morons in charge of H2S are still buying up properties on parts of the route which have been cancelled and thus are in areas which will not be blighted. It's only taxpayers' dosh, after all.
2. Labour MPs who fail to join in the party's pointless flag-wagging are being shown the error of the ways by constituency office-wrecking vandals. So that's more taxpayers' dosh darn the drain for putting the damage right.

Fair Question
The lady doing the ringmistress role for the Chinese plague circus & lawyerfest thinks the need for her to offer her conclusions is pressing.
   If so, why is the public part of the circus going to drag on until 2026 followed by a gap of a couple of years(?) while she knocks out something which is Xpected to ignore all the really important ishues?
   Pressing, but not as we know it, Jim.
“And wot about the final cost? 300 million quid? 400?” Ferd Taktier
“Something else likely to drag on for a decade or two is the Lucy Letby circus/inquiry into her child murders. Another 500 million quid gone?” Tekey Eiodot

If the first hundred bloody million blown on the Chinese plague circus has told us anything, it's that the custard cremes we've seen performing should never, ever be allowed to be in charge of anything. Did we say ever?

Panic is the default mode
The Canadian PM was claiming the Xploding car @ the US side of the Rainbow Bridge @ the Niagara Falls border with Canada was being taken incredibly seriously. Which is utter wibble. Unless people think an idiot like Turdeau would actually take it terribly frivolously if he thought he could get away with it.
No terrorism, just an American car Xploding on crashing, like they do in films, and a couple from Noo Yawk killed.

Q: How do you keep a sickie going for 14 years?
A: Be the French bloke in charge of stopping migrants from crossing the Channel.

Q: How do you get yourself talked about and laughed at?
A: If you're the mob running North Hereford Museum, claim that the 3rd century Roman emperor Egalabalus was a transpicater. [The museum has a single coin from his realm to surround with trans BS.]
Q: That's all they've got? No actual evidence?
A: The coin and access to a smear job by the alleged Roman chronicler Cassius Dio.

Q: How do you know winter is looming?
A: Finding the cat water dish in the back garden frozen solid is a pretty good clue.

Dippy Lord Dave is trying to lay the ground for throwing away BILLIONs of pounds of our cash as reparations for slave tradery.
   Dippy Dave needs to be told, with as many smacks round the back of the head as are needed to drive the message home, that we don't owe the rest of the world anything and it's not our job to try to run everywhere else.
   Been there, dunnit, and look at how little we got in the way of thanks for civilizing everywhere else.
   If bloody Dave wants to do slavery virtue flagging, let him do it with his own bloody money. We see no reason why he should be allowed to toss our money into the pockets of foreign dicktaters to be stolen or used to fight a civil war against another buncha crooks.
“Dippy Dave of Chipping-Butty belongs in the Tower of London, not the Haus of Frauds.” Morry R.T.

Predictably, the Guv. of the Bonk of England is talking up another interest rate rise. Meanwhile, Chancellor Hunt the Stunt is to cut taxes for rafts. Or something.

Q: What's a good way to make your female football team win lots of matches by default?
A: Put a beefy transbro in the squad and watch teams of real wimmin refuse to be on the same pitch as your hybrid crew on welfare grounds; as justified by a real woman getting a serious knee injury after getting in the way of a ball booted by the transbro.

Imitation not sincere enuff
The costa living crisis has struck the manufacturers of vegan copies of meat products. Buying the real thing is a lot cheaper, shoppers have found. And if it tastes the same and is more nutritious than the artificial stuff, why not?

More from the Era of Idiocy
The wheels have come off the government's plan to hand routine GP jobs to pharmacies. The big companies running chains of pharmacies are closing them on profitability grounds; the government isn't paying enough for what they do, be they large or small; and also, the chains can't get the staff. Private pharmacies are having the same financial problems.

Why are Putinstanis making their minefields in Ukraine 10 miles deep? Because in perfect conditions, a sniper on the Ukraine side can knock they off at a range of 2¼ miles and the Putinis are very nervous.

GW Fraudsters will tell you anybloodything
Blue whales are vital to the health of The Planet 'coz of the amount of carbon locked up in their huge bodies, the climate fraudsters are inviting us to believe.
   What utter bollocks, given the amount of carbon sloshing around and the number of blue whales, which are officially a recovering species. No figures on offer on the relative abundance of blue whales and forests, of course.

A Labour Anthem:
"Oh, Beery Smarmer, what shall we do?
"We wanted someone sensible but we ended up with you."

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++ Irish criminal terrorists riot in Dublin with looting & arson about ++ Imaginary far right blamed by government of loopy left & terrorism apologists ++
“All the bother in Dublin is just the Irish doing what they do. i.e. wrecking things. And all the denial in the world and hard-righting from the Teashop ain't gonna make no difference.” Barak Uda

More from the Era of Idiocy
Are nationalists like the Dutch guy G. Wilders really far-right? Or are they sensible, normal people compared to the ludicrous lefties, who are monstering them for their own shameful reasons?
“It's not just the ludicrous left, it's also the luvvies like Lord Dave, who want to wave their virtue flags @ the Xpense of everyone else.” Mist R. Homes

Even more from the Era of Idiocy
The wonks @ the Museum of London are claiming that the Black Death, the plague which wiped out half of the city's population in the 14th century, was sentient and rachelist.
   According to the wonks, the plague deliberately killed a larger proportion of women of African origin than white natives due to its built-in pre-colonialism structural rachelism. Well, whoda guessed a virus could be that smart!
“There's utter tripe, and then there's that load of codswallop.” A.L.M.

The eating disorders industry has boosted the rate in late teens girls to 20% of them now that the restraining force of the Chinese plague pandemic is on the wane.

More tinpot tripe
A limp stooge from the Untied Nations, Dr. I. Fry-Degg, the UN CF guy, has the hump over the UK daring to stick Just Stopper criminals in gaol. A result of GW fraudsters seeing a threat to their ill-gotten gains and yanking his crank?
“This is the same Untied Notions Oddballs that thinks putting Iran in charge of 'uman bluddy rights is a brilliant Buggins' turn idea.” Hord L. Ichor
“Why are there no Just Stoppers doing arseing about in Iran? Because they know the regime will kill them after they've been bashed about a lot.” Mon Tigo

A Sporting Comment:
Allowing transisters to play football against genuine women is the equivalent of endorsing doping; as in Putinstan and other parts of its zone of influence, e.g. the former DDR, where it was compulsory for female athletes.

++ Labour to demand that the Martians intervene in Gaza as the ultimate pointless political gesture? ++
[Note: Get Guinness on the phone if they do! Ed.]

The latest caudillo of Arrrhentina has been kicked up the bum by our Defence Sec., G. Chapps, for daring to suggest that the Falkland Islands are his.
   El Loco, as the new guy is known, wants to do to the Falklands what China did to Hong Kong.
“The islanders are deferable going to vote for that!” Tangen Taal

More cash down a local authority drain
North Somerset Council has blown £1.5 MILLION on stoopid wavy line road markings, which have to be removed.
   Some BS to do with cycle lanes was offered as justification.
   Sadly, this is typical of the moronics that local councils are prone to.

Brilliant idea from a letterist to the Daily Disaster: put all the migrants & scroungers in workhouses & feed them gruel. No internet, of course.

If the so-called Xperts can't agree when they perform @ the Chinese plague circus, that's the perfect alibi for President Boris—minion failure.

++ Mhegan the Muciloid comes out with more veiled BS ++ Yawn ++ Career darn the tubes and this won't save it ++ Not even ditching Hairy Xpected to do that ++

Someone called Edwards has been ditched by the BierBC after the police found that he had done nothing criminal.

Tonka Bonka is a Black Friday Cranker!
All through November (and lotz of December)
Deals to make your eyes water!
T.B. Local, 34c Riverside Drive, Romiley

Not so green after all
Shirk @ Homers are now being tarred with the "you're wrecking the enviromint, you bastards" brush. Xperts for York's greenwashing council have found that S@Hers have carbon dioxide emissions which are 70% higher than for go-to-work stooges.
“The significant part of the calculations is that they are talking about tons of carbon dioxide and offering numbers which are meaningless in the context of the gigazigabigatons of carbon dioxide sloshing about in the atmosphere. The amounts are trivial and just greenwashers' virtue flagging, which don't fool no one.” Baz Eisledon

Male astronauts are to be issued with a nitric oxide booster to counter the reptile dysfunction caused by prolonged weightlessness & the increased Xposure to ionizing radiation Xperienced when in space.

Q: Is Europe becoming more right-wing?
A: No, it's becoming more sensible & patriotic, and less inclined to go along with wokery & ludicrous left incompetents. Also being rejected are spendthrift liberals, who think it's cute to talk their country down whilst stuffing an arm up to the shoulder into the taxpayer's pocket.

It has been revealed that when Hunt the Stunt was having his Big Day in the Commons, the Scots Gnats didn't start leaping up and down doing simulated rage until the Chancellor got to cutting benefits off from those who choose to take a gap-decade from work.
   Interesting that the SNP sees such people as their target voters.

Q: How much of Scotland's notorious A9 road do you get converted to dual carriageway after the SNP has blow £300 MILLION on the job?
A: Absolutely bugger all.

Sr.Dox have had a pay offer and will halt strikes until they've spent a month or two voting on it.
   Jr.Dox are still after their ludicrous left 35%.

The latest book from some UI in the Untied States claims that Prince Hairy accused his bro of pushing him out of the Royal Hezbollah.
   Or something. Yawn.

Irish Teashop done for gaslighting the customers with far-right BS.
13,300 Palestinians dead in Gaza, the 12,000 for 1,200 ratio passed & increasing relentlessly.
Why didn't the prisoner exchanges begin in Palestine last Thursday? Both sides are getting the blame for endless nit-picking by hard-liners ‘because they can'.
The wheels are coming off Labour's plan to borrow £28 BILLION and blow it on greenwash scams.
Israel is being accused of doing the hostage thing in its occupied areas by arresting relatives of wanted Palestinians and subjecting them to brutality & torture in gaol as an incentive for the wanted person to surrender.

The SNP regime in Scotland is getting a booting for setting the bar for English exams in schools so low that it's practically impossible for a functional illiterate to leave without an A pass. Spelling mistakes, bad grammar and dodgy punctuation no longer cost kids marks.

"The British peeps won't be taken for fools," sez Smarmer's Chancellor wannabe, R. Reeves. But they'll have to be to put the sorry crew that's the Labour party into government.

Sherie Gets Stuck In
“Whatever became of that plan floated a few years ago to let Amazon's talking tin can take over some GP services to reduce pressure on the NHS?” C. Attle
“If ITV sez there are no rules & restrictions on the 24/7 cameras covering its jungle contestants, does that mean that the N. Farage Bumgate will be followed by pix of the contestants having a pee? Or worse?” Pencil Vania
“If that mouthy fat woman who knows nuffink about nuffink is an influencer, you have to wonder what sort of people look on her as a role model.” Plue Ralist
“The thing I don't get about American Crunch is how they can complain about roughing the passer when there's a whole gang of guys being paid millions of bucks to do just that.” Charto Piko
“What they get their millions for is doing it sneakily enough to avoid giving an official an Xcuse to throw a flag.” X. Pend

Putinstan is now up to 100% Vlad-free.*
[*which includes 0% Vlad-free. Ed.]

No one else to blame
The prime monster's swindles with tax thresholds when he was Chancellor are not winning him any friends among the pensioners who will have to watch the taxman eat a chunk of next year's rise in their income. Hunt the Stunt Xtending the swindle for another couple of years didn't help.
Fiscal drag will rake in £44,600,000,000 from the customers.
Cutting National Insurance by 2% will reduce the rake in by £10,000,000,000.
Nett Gain £34,000,000,000.

Esso petrol 142.9p/litre.
Esso diesel 151.9p/litre.

WEEK 5    Putin the ‘greed’ into agreed

 
The virtue-flagging rot set in @ the BierBC a hell of a long time ago. Back in 1978, it was making a big deal out of having a black newsreader—on Radio Four.
The BierBC has shot itself in the foot again by including a transister in a list of allegedly influential women. The BierBC is spinning this as progress, having put two transisters in its "of notional importance" list last year.
The BierBC is getting a booting for cancelling; for no apparent reason; the actor who played the 8th incarnation of Doc Troo.

The regime running Oxford is to ban gas cookers & gas boilers in new homes from 2025 to save The Planet. Sadly, this is typical of the virtue bollocks you get from local councils.

The Office for Budget Ridicule is talking the country down again.
No one is surprised.

Skule has become a Bad Thing. Lock-ins turned appalling kids into right little monsters and the woke & diversity & gender BS agendas of teachers are producing little monsters who are iggorant & intolerant as well as louts.
As a bonus, all the locking-in due to the Chinese plague has also turned parents into obstructive louts, who feel entitled to ignore school rules on uniforms & other ishues.

Stat War
Ofsted, the one-word school rater/inspector, reckons that 90% of schools think its input helps the schools to improve.
   But 85% of head teachers have Net Zero confidence in Ofsted.
   Clearly, we are dealing with the realm of politics rather than real life.

Q: Is it sensible to compare the inability of large parts of Britain to enjoy a pocket phone service with a NASA/Nokia scheme for controlling remotely operated rovers on the Moon?
A: More journalistic chalk & cheesecake. If the billions thrown @ the lunar project were spent on The Planet, there would be no Xcuse for not getting a phone connection here.

Kept him out of real mischief?
A ChatBloke @ the University of Bath (twinned with N. Farage? Ed.] has done some dodgy testing & concluded that Bremoaners are brighter than those who voted for Brexit.
   Shame that other ChatBlokes have grotted all over his spurious link between intellectual brightness & voting intentions.

Today's Question:
Are there enuff short planks available on The Planet to illustrate the thickness of gary bloody lineker?
[Inspired by Little John of the Daily Disaster. Ed.]

Lord Dave of Chipping-Butty is being probed by the taxman for failing to disclose perks, mostly from the Chinese government.

It swot they do!
The Labour party in the new Croydon East constituency is up to its neck in accusations of vote rigging in the process to confect a parliamentary candidate. People have been complaining that they have been signed up for online voting without being consulted.
   The honchos at the sharp end clearly felt this was preferable to letting Bier Smarmer parachute in a pliable stooge.

Nelly the Elephant hauled out of the jungle spotlight to prevent further loss of credibility & earning power?

Internet forums are doing their bit to limit the 'uman race by fuelling a culture of suicide.
Black Friday (the last one of November) was international "We Hate J.B. Zos Day" with Amazon staff in 30 countries staging strikes against poor pay & conditions.
Jim Cleverbloke, the Invasion Minister, is going to zap people-smugglers.
The notion of Nelly, the jungle Elephant, being the face of ITV makes some people wish it were possible to watch a TV channel LESS than not at all!
Apparently, there was an International Men's Day at the weekend before last. Didn't know about it? Well, it was only about blokes, not important people like transpicaters or some other insignificant minority.

Has gbl taken the Hama Shilling? He certainly seems to be acting as a PR agent for the Hamas with his Twattering. And he seems to be doing it with the full approval of the BierBC's director, General Davie, whose failure to sack gbl tells its own story.

When it comes to relationships, what does Labour have to offer when it comes to responsible government?
1. Titanic through not looking where they're going and the wheels coming off unexpectedly?
2. Or Graf Spee from making so many enemies that they get bashed to bitz by overwhelming opposition?
   Some bloody choice!

Brace yourselves, they’re at it again?
Another mysterious disease is rampant in the north of China. Another virus laboratory with useless biosecurity?
there has been one case of swine flu detected in Yorkshire; just a mild one. Another pandemic on the way, as in 2009, to compete with another from China?

Home before midnight? Maybe?
Football matches are to be cut to 30 minutes each way to reduce the overall time the match lasts with VAR Xtended to giving a ruling on absolutely everybloodything.

Attention in short supply
Bier Smarmer's Chancellor wannabe is getting a booting for being £55 BILLION out in her guess for the state of the economy in 2027. All part of Labour's "scare the pants off the customers" agenda, which isn't having much impact when done so badly.
   How did she get it so badly wrong? By ignoring the Official Budgie Response's current guesstimate data. But no doubt some minion on Team Reeves will get the blame for pushing the wrong button.

Interesting statistic:
The Chinese plague circus, lawyer feeding trough and anything but a proper inquiry, which has done nothing much useful, has already cost MORE than the government's attempts to Xport illegals to Rwanda.
   Not a squeak from Smarmer's Army about that, of course.

Lord Dave of Chipping-Butty is eager for his wallet to be allowed to engage with China.
Lord Dave of Chipping-Butty really stuck it to the Mandelsleaze in the Haus of Frauds after he was dismissed as a mere comeback novice. The Mandelsleaze had to make 3 comebacks, Lord Dave pointed out, 'coz t.b. liar was forced to sack him twice for abusing his position.
   No sackings for Dave, of course, who retired when the ungrateful nation rejected his Bremoan agenda.

Below the line mission statement: Some of the above is true. BFN is recognized as a premiere class observational blog and a multiple winner of the OB of the Year award.
   We are constantly exposed to dodgy conclusions drawn from dodgy data by the 'experts', especially those found in the world of politics and especially those at the Treasury and in opposition and running trade unions.
   Some of us civilians at BFN like to join in to let them know that anyone can do it and we ain't impressed by their efforts.

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Created for Romiley Anarchists' League by workers in revolt against oppression to set the record straight in the 3rd millennium. © RAL, November MM23 like anyone cares.