sm BlackFlag News - October 2023
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    WEEK 1    Putin the ‘mental’ into environmental & monumental

markerPartiality Rulz, Nokay
The Office of Notional Sadistics has calculated that Shirk @ Homers on a 4-day week are taking an Xtra 2 weeks' holiday via sick leave. They're getting backache from slumping on a settee instead of sitting up properly at a desk and they're losing out on the exercise of a journey to work. They're also stressed because there is no dividing line between 'work' and home.
   One thing that this number fails to reveal is that the over-cosseted snivel service takes twice as much time orf as the wealth-creating private sector.
   But that's the ONS for you.

CFLSNF 1: the Albertines in the nation’s capital
Stanback with a TD from the Montreal opener. The RedBlacks got to the MA 10, pick in the end zone. The Als drove into Q2, a FG try missed to the right but the RBs coughed the ball up during the return. Another FG try went wide left and the RBs gave up a single, 8-0. Fajardo fired a TD pass to the end zone in the last minute, 15-0.
   In Q3, the RBs got to the MTL 6, went for 3rd & 2, pick by the Als, TD the other way for the Als! 22-0. Finally, in the first minute of Q4, a Charge! for a TD by the RBs, 22-7. The Als managed a FG, 25-7. Shambles in the 8th minute, Lemon got the ball, TD, 32-7. The RBs found the red zone again, another TD, 4:41 left, +2, 32-15. And that's as close as they got.

Surprise!Totally unreliable
The 'research' into the 'eternal' cases of the 'Chinese plague' has been full of 'major flaws'. The chances of getting this 'complication' have been 'greatly exaggerated'. Misdiagnosis, some Xperts agree, is 'inevitable' if over 200 symptoms have been claimed as characteristic of the 'long covid' condition.
   NICE and the WHO are getting the blame for the 'kitchen sink' approach to tagging more and more symptoms on to what started off as quite a modest list.

markerNutters on the Record
MPs who claim that a woman can have a pianist are to be named & shamed by a public-spirited campaign group, which intends to blow out of the water, the claim that it's a difficult question and beyond the power of the average parliamentarian to grasp.
The ludicrous left are doing the outrage thing about this.

bulletRemember: "It Izzard not to mock, a bloke in a frock."

Revealed TheRazor May's Cabinet meetings dragged on and on and on because she was too polite to tell the motor-mouth Blobists to stop waffling and get to the point.

postage stampreader comment“The BierBC must be really afraid of GB Views if it's demanding that the TV station be shut down for doing what the BierBC's stooges do on a daily basis. And not just gary bloody lineker.” Amer Riccano
reader comment“If they work for the BierBC, only the ludicrous left can spout garbage unto nations. Everyone else is cancelled.” Gonna Lunch
reader comment“I was amused to read a newspaper columnist's view that the WWW wasn't created as a weapon of mass destruction. Anything at all is WoMD-fodder once the bad guys get their germans on it.” Sal Vage

CFLSNF 2: the Stampeders in Hamilton
Desperate for a win, the CS opened with a long FG. The Stamps drove into Q2, a fumble in the first minute gained them yards by going to another red helmet, Paredes again with a FG, 6-0. A 70-yard pass play put the TigerCats level at 6-all. The Stamps did nothing with a pick. A FG put the TC 6-9 ahead. A bomb from Schiltz to the end zone in the last minute, TD, 6-16.
   Paredes kicked another FG in Q3, 9-16. The Cats got the benefit of a fumble shambles, nothing from it. A FG 6 minutes in to Q4 put the Cats 9-19 ahead. Another FG for the Stamps, 12-19. The Cats ate clock to a FG with 1:20 left, 12-22. Paredes with 29 seconds left, 15-22 final and the Cats are in the play-offs.

markerThe government is on course to steal £8 BILLION from fully taxed estates over the next decade if nothing is done about the pernicious inheritance tax.
reader comment“That's the present lot. It will be twice that if Labour gets another chance to loot the nation.” Herm Ajesti

markerWe are being invited to believe that as many as 20% of the asylum claims received by UK lawyers in the trade are genuine. Hah!

skull 2

Conservative Party Conference
They’re On Strike Again for 3 DAYS

“First, do all the harm you can manage.”

skull 2

reader comment“Wonderful way to achieve job security— making NHS waiting lists endless if not infinite.” S. Treuth

markerNot before time.
X-ray machineThe term 'NHS Trust' is to be cancelled as the sort of people who head up parts of the NHS have shown that they cannot be trusted to keep the customers safe and do the job they're paid for.
   Our local cosmetic mayor for Greater Manchester, Jonah Burnham, is a prime Xample of another variation of the ilk, having been a minister at the Department of Health when customers were dying of neglect @ Stafford Hospital because the bosses were too busy fabricating statistics for a Labour government to be bothered about what was happening under their noses.

Z markerThe West now has a choice of Xistential threat—being driven over the edge by A.I.s or being crushed by unrestricted migration, which swamps the national character and cancels enterprise & prosperity.

Washington, D.C, is full of time-wasters, mostly politicians and their minions. But the newspapers, especially the Washington Post, have a large share of them. Characters who issue advice like wasting time on a text telling someone the details of why you're calling before you phone them.

markerTalk is cheap
The comical Trivial leader told his party conference that he's going to rescue the NHS. But if the hall was only half full when he did his Big Speech, that tells us that even his members don't believe Eddy Baby Davey either, and they knew the speech would be a clunker.

Answers to CorrespondentsbulletQ: What do you get if you buy a London to Edinburgh ticket for an Avanti train?
bulletA: A 200-mile taxi ride with a crazy driver when you get to Preston.

bulletQ: "ABC gets CBA from Home Sec." means what?
bulletA: The ArchyBish of Cantab wants to wibble wokely @ the Home Sec. and she Can't Be Arsed to meet him for the waste-of-time lecture.

bulletQ: What is the "insulate, insulate, insulate" campaign really about?
bulletA: There isn't enuff electricity available to keep the nation warm coming from the occasionals, thus the government is trying to prevent people from using it by making the customers throw more cash @ spivs than they will ever recover from reduced power bills.

markerFreedom of speech
Yes, gary bloody lineker should be allowed to put his idiotic views of the moment on the WWW, and yes, everyone who takes any notice of them should also be treated as an idiot and ignored like gbl.

Rosebank Rubbish

Rosebank posterThe curse of the 21st century
Junior control freaks making meaningless gestures at the Xpense of the grown ups without having the decency to ask if their elders & betters mind having their pockets picked.
   Virtue-flaggers just out to be a nuisance with logic casually tossed out of the window.

bulletToday's question:
On what planet is Labour the answer?

SherieSherie Gets To The Point
reader comment“Nice to see a Blame The Blokes whinger get her bum bitten and be made to realize that shooting her mouth off can have consequences.” Nas Tibast
reader comment“Do we really long for the good old daze of Brown-Balls Endogenous Flush The Dosh Down The Bog Theory?” Dag Rashchir
reader comment“G.F. Broon would have us believe that public service shouldn't be a platform for private gain—a dig @ T.B. Liar made when he was plugging his book about fixing the world. Presumably based on his Xperience of wrecking the Britisch economy.” Stone E. Broke

skull 2

Still on strike for a crazy pay demand
Emergency services non-existent

“Whatever you do, don’t have an accident.”

skull 2

reader comment“They must be doing a balancing act between Xtending the number of customers in waiting & reducing the list by letting potential customers die of neglect.” Jomon Tanner

O-BummerWere we impressed by being told yesterday by a beaming Met Officer that it was 24 deg.C in Kent? Not even a little bit if it weren't nowhere near 24 deg.C Up North and there was rain on the way to dampen things down even more.

markerMucho Malarky
Every bloody problem, both big & small, has to be a crisis now, which just devalues the word and makes the default response to it a big yawn.

COMMENT The major buck-passing Xercise being conducted by the dispensed-with honcho of H2S is a clear admission of guilt about wasting TONs of Taxpayers' Money as you could hope to get.
   If politicians could do the job, there would be no need for 'Xperts' who turn out to be clueless spivs, despite a monstrous salary + perks appropriate for someone who knows what he's doing.

pound coinRubbish & Real
The government's climate change committee has guessed £1.3 TRILLION for the cost of Net Zero to 2050. The actual cost, and a very conservative one, has been guessed @ £4.5 TRILLION by the think tank Civitas, which realizes that what we do in the UK has no measureable effect on the global climate.
   Naturally, this is something the government's Global Warming Fraudsters refuse to face and attempt to airbrush out of Xistence at every opportunity.
updateCivitas is now rethinking its guess.
Stand by for another one.

markerWorth a punt
Now might be a good time to start a charity calculated to appeal to the ancient Rolling Stone M. Jagger. He is rumoured to have decided that his £400 MILLION fortune will go to good causes rather than his small army of kids, and you might just get lucky.

Teaching unions are up in arms 'coz 20% of kids are not going to school any more, which affects the employment prospects of their members and reduces considerably, the impact of their strikes.

markerLife as crossword clues
"The leader of the Opposition is prostrate. (5)"
   "He‘s what?"

Oh Bummer!US flagProposition: Americans are weird
Democraps know that Creaky Joe isn't up to the job now, never mind in another term as POTUS. But they're still going to vote for him as it's a vote against the Republicans.
   Ex-president O'Bummer is also in favour of keeping Joe in place 'coz Joe will just be his Archie Andrews, as Smarmer is to t.b. liar. And if Joe is re-elected, then O'Bummer will be getting a third term by a Putin-style swindle.
bulletProposition: Americans are also sneaky

Far Queue symbol The bozos in charge of the Royal Navy are messing about with pronouns instead of anything that matters. Groan.

Scittish flagNorth of the Border
Humbug Useless is getting the blame for a ‘shameful' rise in rachelist incidents involving the Scottish health industry. He's also in trouble for making ovarian cancer patients pay £30,000 for private sector life-saving treatment.
Gorbal warmage is being blamed for a record year for call-oots of Scotland's mountain rescue teams. Trippers who have fallen for the warmage fraudsters' propaganda are arriving totally unprepared for the realities of Highland weather and ending up in increasingly serious trouble because of their failure to dress & jaunt appropriately.

markerPeople of limited lung power are claiming that breathalyzer kits are too demanding and they are being charged with an offence unfairly when they fail to provide a sample of breath sufficient for a valid test.

skull 2

Still out on strike
More to come in due course

“Have they got shares in the funeral industry?”

skull 2

bulletThe Big Problem with the NHS is the management culture of refusing to admit that there are any problems that need fixing, especially in the ranks of the management.

markerProposition: electric cars are a Betamax for the 21st century
The Labour figure of fun "Two Jags" Prescott now has a counterpart—former Tory MP & minister Edwina "Two Teslas" Currie. Why did she buy two of them? Because they don't last.
   Worse, they depreciate in second-hand value like an Xpress lift going down and their defunct batteries are as big a blot on the landscape as unrecyclable wind turbine blades.

Bonehead Jonah BurhamUseLEZ is as UseLEZ does
Our local cosmetic mayor, the disaster-prone Jonah Burnham, is hoping no one has noticed that he has dropped his plan to impose a UseLEZ regime on the Greater Manchester area. Someone has told him it's a definite vote-loser.
   One disaster averted, but what will be Jonah's next Plan for Catastrophe?

Corbynstein's MonstermarkerMore Brown tax & waste
The grammar school-educated hippocrite Beer Smarmer is clinging to his Corbynstein's Monster role by seeking some way or other to tax parents who send their offspring to a private school.
   Class war combined with sawing the rungs off the ladder. Plus adding hundreds of millions to the tax bill when displaced kids end up in state schools. How very Labour.
meanwhileHe has set his Chancellor wannabe beavering away on drafting a £1.5 BILLION inheritance tax grab from farms & family businesses.

bulletToday's Question:
Stradamus or NoStradamus, which shall it be?

markerWokeford the UseLEZ
Thanks to the First Meenister there, buses going @ 20 mph can't get to the top of some Welsh hills. They need a run at them with a faster approach speed. But good sense and practicality are generally things which rarely trouble politicians.

markerRaise the living wage? One person's pay rise is everyone else's price rise.
Something true but inconvenient.

bulletEnglisch Xplained: "We need clarity"
Translation: "I need you to notice me" from the person asking for the clarity.

SherieSherie Strolls Back To RoundUp
reader comment“The anti-Rosebud oilfield Brigade keep banging on about renewables but they never have anything useful in that line on offer. All they can do is whinge that they're all going to die, which wouldn't be a bad thing in their case!
   “What we need are always-on sources of power, not ones which supply electricity only if the wind deigns to blow at the right speed and/or it's not cloudy.” 40 Fayed
first class stampreader comment“How strange that the persons of the female sex who use asterisked words when they refer to L. Fox on broadcast meeja & in print don't get a tug from the fuzz. Achieving equality is clearly still subject to the conveniences of the moment and some people remain a good deal less equal than others.” T. Watting-Abbot
reader comment“They can dish it out but they just can't take it and don't like being held responsible for their own actions.” Freu Degg
reader comment“gbl is as arrogant as he is iggorant & just a prethetic attention-seeker. End of.” R. Thrug

skull 2

Why are Jr.Dox demanding 35% more?
To punish the customers into voting for a Labour government,
even knowing it won't offer them more cash. And to keep
NHS waiting lists jam-cram packed with customers.

skull 2

H2SPutin us out of our misery & impoverishment
The mob in charge of H2S have spent 13 years hoovering cash out of the public purse to stuff into their own pockets when not wasting it on God knows what. They have no regard for budgets and they have no interest in getting on with the job. In fact, they have shown themselves to be incapable of delivering anything useful.
   Chopping off the northern leg should have been done years ago. Spending the cash not blown on H2S on worthwhile alternative transport should have been done years ago.
   Booting Gordon F. Broon's tax & waste shambles into touch can be only a Good Thing.

O-BummerJonah Burnham, Greater Manchester's cosmetic mayor, was claiming a while ago that H2S is not the right solution for Manchester. Then he did a U-ey and started moaning that the northern leg is vital to the continued Xistence of humanity. The next thing you know, the wheels come off this set of Brown bollocks and it gets the chop. Jonah's Curse strikes again. Will he ever learn to keep his big gob shut?
[He's a politician with a pathological attention-craving condition. No chance. Ed.]

markerCovers must always be up
Northern Ireland is being used as a testbed for the Law Commission's ambition to keep allegations against unconvicted paedophiles of the J. Savile ilk secret for 25 years after their death.

Answers to CorrespondentsbulletQ: What do you get when you sign up for 6 months in orbit on the International Space Station?
bulletA: Stuck up there and weightless for a whole year 'coz the Soyuz (Russkie) capsule that was supposed to bring you down to Earth sprang a leak and there was no Plan B.

meltdownbulletQ: Does it really matter if the Swiss have managed to lose 10% of their glaciers over the last 2 years?
bulletA: Glaciers come and glaciers go as the climate of The Planet changes. There is no rule which states that there has to be a certain amount of frozen water on mountains, and deviations from this fixed amount are a crisis.
   No matter what the gorbal warmage fraudsters claim.
   In summary: an interesting fact but no big deal.
bulletQ: Why is H2S such an Xpensive flop?
bulletA: Because it has been hijacked by the diversity lobby & wokists, i.e. people who have no problem with tossing BILLIONs of taxpayers' money into Brown Holes. Worse, every bloody where H2S goes, Those People are looking for minorities, which they can claim have been victimized. Rainbow Crap Rulz, Nokay!
reader comment“It's all very well for President Boris to go on about how brilliant Chinese hi-speed trains are but a totalitarian regime doesn't have to listen to the apologists & victimhood confecters. It just draws a line on a map and says: 'Let it be.' And it is.” J. Cobree Smog

potholesmarkerOut of the box thinking
Our Snackstabber PM was wondering if the cash planned for the Manchester leg of H2S would be better spent on repairing our increasingly potholed roads as they are damaged more and more rapidly by heavier electric vehicles. Now, he has a chance to find out.

markerIs it ingenuity or sheer depravity that leaves people with a ‘deprived' background o'bese & needing NHS weight loss treatment?

bulletToday's Question:
Why is nobody farming electric eels as a source of renewable bio-electricity without all the usual carbon footprint ishues?
[Sheer idleness & lack of imagination. Ed]

BierBCThe BierBC is getting a booting for following the Labour party doom & gloom line on the economy instead of reporting the recently discovered upturn and the news that all the guesses since the Chinese plague arrived have been BS. No one is surprised.

When dining out as part of a group, the Xperts reckon you should pay for what you consume rather than letting the greedy gobblers divide the total by the number of diners, as this will rip you off.
[Unless you're a greedy gobbler. Ed.]

bulletQ: What do you get if you leave building flood defences to Dumfries town council?
bulletA: Loadsa jawing and 200 floods in the last 2 centuries with no sign of relief in any century in the near future.

net zeroBe Advised Net Zero should apply to migration for the next 5 years is the Big Idea of the moment and no benefits should be available to anyone who hasn't contributed to the national bank account for at least 5 years.
reader comment“Plus all entrants must have a useful trade and a work ethic.” R. Ticulate

Z markerTwo formerly significant branches of the Christian religion are set to hit Net Zero members north of the border in the 2040s. At their current rates of decline, the Church of Scotland will be gone in 2042 and the Catholics face Xtinction in 2045.

COMMENTClaiming that the Conservatives have been in power for 13 years is just blah.
Smarmer   They have been part or all of the government for that long but let us not forget that they had to form an alliance with the deadleg Trivials for 5 years to boot Gordon F. Broon & Labour into touch.
   Also, there have been a whole lot of different PMs and ministers. Something else not to forget is that the Snackstabber has been in the job for 5 minutes, not the whole 13 years.
reader comment“We can always start blaming Corbynstein's Monster for things that went on in the Labour party when he was still Dir. of Pubic Prostitutions and see how the ludicrosities like that.” N. Tonthes

NFLTNF in Washington
The Chicago Bears stuck first with a TD. After stomping all over the Redskins, they were back for a FG, 10-0. Another TD in the first minute of Q2, 17-0. The Injuns managed a long FG, 17-3. 20-3 for the Bears then a pick and a TD in the last minute of the half, 27-3.
   DPI helped the Injuns to a TD in Q3, +2, 27-11. Add a FG, 27-14. One for da Bearz in Q4, 30-14. Wide open for a TD in the end zone, no +2, 31-20. A FG try for the Skins with 5 minutes to go missed. Off to the end zone again, 56 yard dash, 37-20. 40-20 after a FG. Enuff.

SherieSherie’s Fox Hunt Latest
reader comment“An actor who was cancelled by Those People and lost his career makes a remark about one of them and suddenly, it's World War III and Those People are yelling for an unwoke TV station to be shut down so it can't Xpose their ludicrosities.” R. Tisanne
reader comment“Civilization took a left turn and became trivialization. Where's that rogue comet that wipes out all life on Earth when you need it?” Hacker Chakk
reader comment“L. Fox ticking off a vexatious journo once is nothing compared to the tide of poison from the likes of gbl on the BierBC & auntie-social meeja.” R. Migallo
reader comment“Are the bunch in charge of Ofcom sensible enuff to realize that most of the thousands of complaints about Mr. Fox are just the mob who cancelled his acting career coming back for more? Doubtful.” Bow Dook

Ad AttackHave you been missold an electric vehicle?
Did your EV fail to live up to expectations?
Did it fail to save The Planet?
Join our class action against the manufacturers!

bicycleO-BummerBlow BILLIONs of taxpayers' dosh on cycle lanes and what do you get? A drop in the number of people riding bikes. Poorly designed schemes rushed out as part of Low Traffic Neighbourhood & UseLEZ scams are getting a lot of the blame. Scary buggers travelling at stoopid speeds on electric bikes are also collecting a share.

markerQangocraps jerking a knee
NHS England morons have had a booting from a former Met Office chief scientist. Banning the anaesthetic desflurane has Net Zero climate change justification and claiming that it has is just plain dishonest.

markerMaybe they do know what they’re doing, after all
We read with a degree of scepticism that the police had seized the chainsaw off a bloke suspected of chopping down that iconic tree beside Hadrian's Wall.
   Is the cutting pattern really as unique as that of a firearm? Or was it just the fuzz doing what they usual do; grabbing everything not nailed down?
   The answer came from the bloke himself. He is confident that when they test the chainsaw for the felled tree's unique DNA, they won't get a match and he'll be cleared. Which will upset all the locals who hate him mightily!

O-BummerSlogan Rewrite:
Strike: "Protecting our world-class public services"
Substitute: "Protecting our third-world-class public services"

Edmonton AntlersFNF 1: the Edmonton Antlers in T’ronno
The Argos got to the EA 1, Charge!, TD. They added a FG after 13 minutes. The Ants ended the quarter with a rouge, 1-10. They added a FG 6 minutes in to Q2, 4-10. The Argos were back for another major as the half ran out, +2, 4-18. Ford did a great scramble in the closing seconds, TD, 11-18.
   A FG from the TA opener of Q3, 11-21. Crap! A pick in the 10th minute gave the Argos a TD, 11-28. The Ants got a rouge from a punt to start Q4, the Argos were back at their 1 five minutes later, TD, 12-35. A completed pass by Ford or a mugging as time ran out? The Argos got the decision as a 150th birthday present, no more scoring.

bagged KreepmarkerNasty bastards is as nasty bastards does
Labour has been accused of bombarding independent schools with vexatious demands for data, knowing it will cost the schools thousands of pounds, and leaking the results to friendly meeja outlets. Why? It's a vindictive attempt to bully the schools into not criticizing Smarmer's plan to hit the schools with huge VAT bills.

O-BummerD. Lammy, currently Labour's Foreign Sec. wannabe, has taken over from D. "Abacus" Abbott as the party's resident clot. He used to claim to be a committed Christian and 110% against nuclear weapons. He's now proud of Labour's nuclear heritage.
O-BummerEveryone is obliged to remind their readers that when Lammy appeared on Celebrity Mastermind, he claimed that King Henry 8th was succeeded by his father, King Henry 7th, and that Marie Antoinette (murdered in 1793) was awarded a Nobel prize for physics in 1903. But hey, he is Labour.

markerThe petition in Wales asking for an end to the Wokeford 20 mph speed limit now has more signatures than the number of votes that put the Labour lot in charge of the devolved Ssennedd.

CFLFNF 2: the Blue Bombers in Vancouver
The BC Lions started with a FG, the BB missed one half way through Q1. Heroic QB scrambling and BB DPI in the end zone gave BC a TD and 0-10. The BB kicked a FG 3 minutes in to Q2, 3-10. BC replied with a 70 yard TD play! 3-17. One back for the BB, 10-17. Nothing from a BC pick. They kicked a FG with 2 seconds to half time, 10-20.
   A FG for the BB in the 5th minute of Q3, 13-20. BC were sacked to a FG, 13-23. Another for the BB, 16-23. DPI got the BB close in Q4, but Collards fumbled when sacked, BC ball. Nothing from it. Another sack, another fumble by Collards, FG for BC, 16-26. The BB scored a TD in the 13th minute, 23-26. BC went out on downs with 1:50 left. The BB levelled things up with a FG. Rhymes ran for too long in FG range, OT.
   Olivera blasted into the end zone, +2 for Lawler, 34-26. Nothing in reply from BC, the Bombers are top of the division.

marshalLine Control
Service stations are having to employ marshals to intimidate the more stroppy members of queues for electric car charging points. EVs take six times longer to fill up than petrol & diesel vehicles and the Notional Grid lacks the capacity—that's right now, never mind in the electric future—to meet the demand.
   As a consequence, there is no chance of more charging points being made available anytime soon. And Gord alone knows how long the queues will be if Bier Smarmer gets to ban the use of gas for generating electricity.
The Department for Transport thinks managing queues is the better part of providing enuff charging capacity, which ain't gonna happen until we get new nuclear power stations. Or even the much-hyped but never delivered nuclear fusion power technology.

markerCommon sense breaks out
A former professor of politics, who was cancelled by wonky students in London, is setting up his own MA course @ the University of Buckingham. The course will become a beacon for academic freedom of speech, he hopes, and expose the woke & ludicrous left to unwelcome scrutiny.

markerUkraine's special forces are using wartime commando tactics copied from the Britisch to attack targets in occupied Krim. The Cockleshell Heroes ride again!


To Books (Worth) ReadingTo Books (Worth) ReadingMr. Wydey’s Book List

Highly Recommended Reading, Authors worth pursuing & some Awful Warnings, Hundreds of Bux listed!

    WEEK 2    Putin the ‘cure’ into insecure

bulletToday's Timely Comment:
Without tar from oil, how do we fill potholes? Wind won't get the job done.
   Credit F. Gunn of Beaconsfield for the thought.

Rutherglen & Hamilton West by-election
Electorate 82,104
current & previous results    2023      2019
None of those on offer        62.8%     34.5%
Scottish Labour               21.7%     22.6%
SNP                           10.2%     29.0%

bulletIf you want to know where all the water is, it's flooding large areas of Scotland.

police helmetNah, then, nah, then!
Police stop & search numbers for the year to March 2023 in England & Wales show that half of them were performed on kids & young adults up to the age of 24. The ratio of 18-24-year-olds to kids was 3:2.
   Apologists for criminally inclined kids of colour are still yelling that they should be left to get on with it without police interference.

markerBT swindle report
Customers who lose their landline phone will still be charged line rental for the upkeep of a copper wire physical connection to the residence, which is no longer there if they are forced to go digital & wireless.

police helmetNee, nah, nee, nah!
Police farces are to be ordered to check the faces of criminals caught on camera against national databases for passports & immigration directories. Foot-dragging & wokery are to blame for this not happening a good deal sooner.
   Sales of; and thefts of; masks are Xpected to soar.

Far Queue symbol MPs & peers are demanding that the police stop using facial recognition to bust criminals. A touch of self-interest involved by a gang who are known to indulge in very dodgy practices?

Anything goes during the conference season


reader comment“Masked communist terrorists parading in the streets of Manchester and the police do nothing about it. How woke of them.” X. Cavate
reader comment“Resist Tory Rule with a hammer & sickle, commie emblem is okay, which means that Resist Labour Rule with a putinarzi swastika is okay, too. Fair's fair.” D.I. Gress

CFLSNF: the TigerCats in Saskatchewan
The grey Cats fumbled away their opener, the RoughRiders had to punt after recovering their own fumble. The Cats went from their 12 right to the SK 10!, TD, 7-0. The Riders got a safety from intentional at the end of Q1, 7-2. The Cats were back for another TD in the 5th minute of Q2 and added a single from a punt, 15-2. A diving TD in the 10th minute put them 22-2 up. The Riders fumbled away the kick off return but picked Schiltz. Nothing. Add a FG for the Cats, 25-2. A 32 yard TD dash on 3rd & 1 by SK, then a rouge from the kick off, 25-10.
   The Cats kicked a FG half-way through Q3, 28-10. One for the RR after 12 minutes, 28-13. One for the Cats to start Q4, 31-13. Fumble SK, fumble TC, pick TC! 3rd & goal at the 1 in the last minute, TD for the Cats, 38-13 final.

police helmetDon’t let the door hit your arse . . .
Hunt the Stunt, currently Chancer of the Xchequer & eternal smug bugger, aims to freeze the size of the snivel service Blob rather than reduce it to pre-Chinese plague levels by roasting woke.
   The quick Boris trimming plan has been binned. Diversity & other make-work posts will go; allegedly; and the focus will be on core functions & essential tasks. But getting rid of 66,000 useless Blobists won't now happen, and the focussing job will take 5 years to avoid spending cash on compulsory redundancies.

police helmetmarkerFirst Rule of Opposition:
Whatever the ones in charge do, whinge about it

Bier Smarmer's bliarist speech writer is getting the blame for making his customer look like a tool. A few weeks ago, he had Smarmer complaining that our Snackstabber PM doesn't have any policies.
[Rather like his employer, so what's up with that? Ed.]
   Now, the scribe has Smarmer moaning that the PM has too many new policies, implying that Smarmer & stooges can't keep up with them.

bulletNHS customers are to be told if their doc is a bloke in a frock.

World NewsbulletQ: Is Scittish Labour beating the Useless-led SNP in a very low turn-out by election proof that Bier Smarmer is on the road to being appointed World President?
bulletA: Deferably. Nae doot!
bulletQ: What's a good way to nark the Ayatollah Bunchacommies & the Iranian regime?
bulletA: Give the Nobel Peace Prize to one of their female political prisoners.

Surprise!A tech firm has had to abandon a 4-day working week trial as trying to do 5 days' work in 4 days was stressing out the minions.
reader comment“I take it no one considered paying the minions for just the 4 days' toil that they actually do and hiring some more to cover the missing days?” Trik Kortreet

Just a woke bloke without a joke
The wheels came off a big moan by the former comedian R. Bremner when he started to offer examples of how unfunny & shameless politics has become.
   A whinge about D. Trump but no mention of Pres. Biden's Huntergate embarrassment. Partygate but not a whisper about Beergate.
   The old ‘13 years' garbage and digs @ President Boris and Sir J. Rees-Mogg being Old Etonians rather scum from the gutter.
   When you restrict yourself to attacking the same handful of people over and over about the same things, you're bound to run out of material that's fresh & relevant pretty rapidly.
reader comment“One does get the impression that Bremner feels OEs owe him a personal apology for not being the scum of the Earth.” Trio Posledniy

markerThe jibe of the Tory party conference came from the Govester, who noticed that Bier Smarmer resembles a jellyfish by being transparent, spineless and swept along by the tide.

Z markerIsrael's headache is that in its occupied territories, it's as popular as Russians in Ukraine. Not a recipe for a quiet life. And the government seems to be out of the same box as Putin when it comes to nest feathering.

Z in a boxThere's going to be a lot of dead Palestinians when the latest shindig dies down. The normal ratio seems to be 500 Palestinians killed per 3 dead Israelis.
   In fact, it could be used as an Xcuse for total ethnic cleansing of all Arabs in Palestine if Mr. Net&Yahoo feels Creaky Joe has his back.
reader comment“Lest we forget: the King David hotel was blown up in 1946, 92 dead. That wasn't Palestinians. That was other people with a cause and the will to kill. There's always a lot of it about” V. Trazhen

bulletProposition: They are taking the easy way out for the clinician
bulletSubstance: The medical trade is letting customers down by writing them off as 'long covid' cases instead of finding out what's really wrong with them, e.g. a clot on the lung. Yes, long-term damage done by the Chinese plague Xists but it's nowhere near as prevalent as the medical trade would have us believe.

Ad AttackHave you been mis-diagnosed with ‘long covid'?
You could be entitled to compenbloodysation!
Check us out!
Romiley Examiners, 46b Riverside Drive

markerMagic monopoly
Only the Tories do U-turns, the ludicrosities would have us believe. Labour, in contrast, realigns its priorities.
[In response to waves of derision showered on the old ones. Ed.]

markerThe UK hate industry is on overtime after publication of a dismaying report announcing that Britain isn't all that hateful after all.
reader comment“Any foreigners doing a whinge about slavery reparations should be cancelled forthwith & ignored completely thereafter.” Val I. Date
reader comment“This is just another Xample of the one-world gang culture.” Con Tract

bulletToday's question:
Making a citizen's arrest is lawful in England & Wales. Arrest can mean stop. Thus if one stops a criminal dead in hiser tracks by shooting himer in the head, is that okay?

THRUSH symbolU turnBier Smarmer will not bring H2S back to life, he now reckons.
   Or maybe he will.
There is no U that cannot be turned—and returned, in his case.

markerDrunken Donutters Deliver!
Research done for a chain selling donuts can get the same prominence as the shrieks of the gorbal warmage fraudsters. Which means that maybe there is still a fragment of hope for the 'uman race.

CFLThe RedBlacks Thanksgiving in Montreal
A 48-yard FG try got the Alouettes a single. They got close but Fajardo was picked in the Ottawa end zone. The Als made the red zone in Q2, nothing; finally, a bomb pass to Philpot in the 9th minute produced a TD, 0-8.
   Lemon of the Als got career sack 100 in Q3. 3rd & goal from the RB 1, TD, 0-15. And a FG to close the quarter, 0-18. A long try in Q4 missed for another single. A fumble recovery became a scoop and score TD for the MA defence, 0-26. A FG got the RBs on the score board, 3-26. A long punt return set up another Montreal FG, 3-29 final.

markerMore cash down a Brown Hole
The Labour lot plan to recruit an army of toothbrushing supervisors to send to the nation's schools to harass the kids into learning how to do it properly. This is just in case Bier Smarmer is unable to deliver his promised 700 million Xtra NHS dental appointments.
reader comment“Let us see them do that whilst Shirking @ Home!” R. Senical
updateThis latest bright idea will cost the taxpayer a mere £111 MILLION if allowed to go ahead.

COMMENTTime magazine has gone right down the nick if it reckons that Scotland's First Meenister, Humbug the Useless, is a next generation leader.

Green Bay PackersMNF: The Packers in Las Vegas
GB opened the scoring with a FG in the 13th minute. A second sack for the defence. The Raiders made a 4th & 1 in Q2 on the way to a TD, 3-7, then got the ball back via a pick, which went to a FG, 3-10. A long FG try by the Raiders at the end of the half missed.
   A pick by GB stopped the LAR in Q3. TD from it, 10-all. Huge pass play to Watson, just a FG, 13-10. The Raiders opened Q4 with a TD, 13-17. A sack then a tipped pass picked by the Raiders. Sack by GB. A 52 yard FG try by the Raiders dinged off the post. Love was picked in the LAR end zone in the last minute, game over.

look bothSurprise!The ecoloonies who are planting trees to cancel out their greenhouse gas emissions from private jets, etc., are killing The Planet. They are putting the wrong sort of trees in the wrong places and killing of areas which have an entirely natural, richly biodiverse ecosystem.

markerThe Health Sec. has had to leap in to stop Health Education England from pratting about with pronouns and make it focus on providing treatment for the customers.

submarineZ markerThe Chinese government has proved the effectiveness of its chain, net & anchor submarine traps in the Yellow Sea by killing the crew of one of its own nuclear subs, which got caught up in a trap.

bulletToday's Xplication:
"The kitchen tap has become Smarmer" means that it has developed an annoying tendency to drip.

pound coinA real stinker of a conspiracy
The Xperts have declared the Broon Turkey that was H2S the worst unvalue-for-money Labour vanity project in the whole history of the Universe.
   The lie that it would create a million jobs is in the same territory. As is the chain of lies deployed to justify its Xistence over the last 13 years.
   Back at the start of H2S, every pound spent on it was supposed to generate £2.30 for the taxpayer, a profit of £1.30. The current guess is a return of 80p per £1 spent; a loss of 20%.
reader comment“No wonder Labour is so keen on it. A perfect Brown Hole to hurl Our Money into.” Epi Sodit

dementedbulletQ: Do men go through the menopause?
bulletA1: Why would it be called that if they didn't?
bulletA2: It's just public sector morons taking advantage of their non-jobs to waste even more of our money. Police, local councils, universities ignoring the view from the medical trade that there is NO manopause, only a womanopause.

markerThe NHS must modernize or Labour will kill it orf, Smarmer has promised.
Or something.
reader comment“Is there a point in giving the NHS more medical scanners if the buggers will be out in the street, on strike, instead of operating them?” Lorgan Clue

markerLong colds are just as prevalent as long covid, the medical trade has revealed. You can do anything at all with sloppy definitions.

The Gov. of the Bonk of England has raised 2 fingers to his DoomBugger predecessor by declaring that Brexit has been good for the City of London. M. Carney, who thinks he should be President of Canada, is still trying to talk down UK successes.

bulletQ: What is the point of corporate manslaughter charges against the hospital where L. Letby was killing babies?
bulletA: If none of the management goes to gaol, and the only outcome is a fine involving shifting taxpayers' money around, the whole thing is just about shoving even more TPM into the infinite pockets of the legal trade.

markerThe Salmonella-led Alba Scittish independence party is accusing the PM of having contempt for the SNP and Salmonella's enemy Wee Sterney Burgeon.
But what's up with that?

Z markerThe tobacco industry is being coy about the 'unintended consequences' of phasing out cigarettes. Strange they're reluctant to remind everyone that the Treasury blags far more tax from tobacco than the NHS spends on unhealthy smokers.

pound coinAnother stinker of a conspiracy
THRUSH symbolCuriously, Transport for London has not been busted by the Metropolitan police farce for fraud after placing a UseLEZ camera at a spot in Harrow which allowed TfL to send over 900 penalty demands to motorists who had not penetrated the UseLEZ Gau. And stick the taxpayer with the expense of unscrewing this further screw-up.

first class stampbulletQ: Why do first class stamps now cost £1.25?
bulletA: Because the Royal Mail has to find £613,440 to pay for the honcho's wages plus pension, AND there's an as yet undetermined stonking bonus to tack on to that.

bulletQ: Was it necessary for NHS chiefs to declare that strikes are endangering cancer patients, pregnant women, etc.?
bulletA: Not if we'd already worked out that the purpose of the strikes is to damage as many customers as possible to force the nation to vote Labour at the next general election to prevent an even higher death toll.

markerGulp! Former news icon Sir T. McDonald, 84, is back on TV. Reduced to doing adverts for Chocky bisquits. Times is hard?

THRUSH symbolThe medical trade is worried about the number of physician associates standing in for NHS doctors & nurses. The lack of regulatory oversight is causing concern.
Translation: the P.A.s are not members of the unions calling the strikes.

markerMessage for Prince William of Wales:
No SurpriseMost of the people labelled as climate deniers do believe that the climate changes. What they refuse to accept is the gorbal warmage fraudsters' massaged and often blatantly false data.
   GWF claims that they can control the climate if given enuff cash are also on the disbelief list. Along with claims that cosmetic stuff done in countries like ours, which are not causing the climate to change, will make anything other than Net Zero difference.

Z in a boxPresident 11 of China appears to be more upset by the revelation that one of his submarines got caught in a Chinese sea-bed trap than that the screw-up killed the crew.
   Face is all. Minions? There are plenty of those.

Recycling Zone
Money for nothing [from August 2018]
bullet Labour is promising everyone a life of ease the next time the nation is foolish enough to vote the party into office. The plan is to extend the Blair/Brown attempt to put all Labour supporters on benefits by applying this to everyone.
    Monthly payments to qualifying adults from the Universal Basic Income Fund will cost the nation £280 BILLION per year, which means that all income will go directly to the state rather than into the individual banks accounts, or hip pockets, of employees. The fund will then be doled out to the nation's Labour clients in proportion to the amount of love which the recipient expresses toward J. Corbyn.
[Just swap Smarmer for Corbyn and add 5 years' inflation to the number. Ed.]

bulletEsso petrol 155.9p/litre.
bulletEsso diesel 164.9p/litre.
Some small relief.

of derisionNHS Lothian in Scotlandland has been accused of taking the piss out of the currently fashionable slavery reparations scam.
   The board guesstimated that slavery-based legacies brought in £40 billion at current prices from Jamaica & Africa. But people there who aren't victims of slavery aren't getting any cash from British taxpayers who are not slavers. Instead, what's on offer is an apology and some slavery-themed paintings. Wunderbar!
reader comment“Let us hope that our Snackstabber prime monster has the nous to offer the same when the president of Guyana starts rattling his begging bowl again.” M.T. Space

Bonehead BurneymarkerInvoluntary impoverishment
The SNP's loss of a seat in the recent by-election is being blamed on lack of funding.
   Labour splashed cash with a will and just about managed to keep its 2019 quota of the votes. The SNP, however, looking in their piggy bank; the one in the camper van; and found that it was mysteriously empty.

World NewsCampaigners in Scotland are demanding a broad buffer zone between wind farms and residential areas to reduce the effects of noise pollution, especially the pernicious sub-sonic vibrations generated by these indulgences.
[Sounds much too sensible to happen. Ed]
The SPCA is grabbing as much cash as it can but it's also closing 20% of its animal rescue centres. Six-figure salaries for the charity's Xecutives will not be affected. Nor the millions stashing in its bank accounts. Many more pussy cats & pussy dogs ending up in black plastic bin-bags is on the cards.
French parents are to be banned from obsessively posting pix of their kids online no matter what they are doing, cute or not.
Anti-everything campaigners have failed to get the Spanish government to ban bullfighting, hunting & dolphin displays in marine parks.
Iran is being manoeuvred into the role of Hamas funder & puppet-master, and to blame for all the killings.

markerA hard road to travel
The thing about building houses on the green belt is there are no infrastructure essentials—roads, sewers, etc. And no schools & shops & hospitals. Just environment which many consider precious and something to be conserved.
   Did we mention the foot-dragging public servants & lawyers with their hands out who are frustrating house-building?

ShockHorrorGood Grief! Getting women to pontificate @ male football matches is something the BierBC dreamt up back in June 2018 as part of a daft diversity agenda.

legmarkerAnother uninvited invasion
One highly positive benefit of cancelling the Manchester leg of H2S is that it will slow down the progress of the avalanche of bedbugs, which is racing north from a mega-outbreak in Paris. Eurostar is standing by to disinfect its trains if the bugs try to use this cross-Channel service.
reader comment“All illegals arriving uninvited on small boats should be dunked in disinfectant in case they've been to Paris.” Gopher Lunch

markerSome bosses have hit on the bright idea of letting staff Shirk @ Home on the understanding that only those who appear @ the company's offices will be in line for pay rises and promotions.

markerStealth taxes will steal £100 BILLION from families by 2033, think tankers have calculated.

Unclear SmarmermarkerConference Claptrap
Glitterbug Beer Smarmer will give each of his customers £1M if he wins the next election.
[It's as likely as anything else on offer. Ed.]
furthermore . . .Smarmer wants to make everything said by anyone who isn't a registered Labour party member a hate crime. He also wants to abolish a free press and the right of people to notice that someone in the public sector is useless, particularly politicians.
reader comment“These would be some more rock-solid, dependable guarantees from Unclear Smarmer, the Master of the Dodgy U?” Hover Gover

bulletToday's Revelation: acadenema
What academia has become—something that blasts out showers of poisonous waste matter.
Also: acadenemic—a university-based enemy of free speech & decency with all the fervour of a religious fanatic.

dimps galoreCOMMENTWell, yes, it is the Age of Hysteria, which is why the PM's death by 1,000 cuts plan to end legal smoking is being branded an economic catastrophe on the scale of the one cause by Prohibition in the Untied States.
   Smoking costs the NHS £2.6 billion/year, tobacco taxes yield £10 billion/year. There are better things to tackle. Alcohol abuse eats £3.6B/year. O'besity chomps £6B/year.

Strangler AngelamarkerConference Crab-Cakes
"Everyone has a right to live their life free from abuse," quoth a Labour conference stooge. "As long as they spout the transpicater & other approved lines," he somehow omitted to add.
"Female only" spaces discriminate against the male preverts who want to hang out in them, and they will be banned by the next Labour government.
Labour plans to do every family for £1,700, which will be passed on to its pals in the business sector.
reader comment“With appropriate donations & other kick-backs in Labour's direction to follow, of course.” Perry Oddical

Far Queue symbol A Thames Valley PC has been sent on a reflective practice course after being caught in the act of littering by a member of the public, who filmed him ditching sandwich crusts, which he was too wimpish to eat.
Far Queue symbol Putin Otravitel' is flogging another silly story. Apparently, he thinks people will believe that the Vagner bloke, Prigozhin, blew up his own private jet by pulling the pins out of a boxful of hand grenades.
Far Queue symbol Who's on the side of Hamas? Most of the Labour party & the IRA. Not Xactly a bunch of Type One people.

SherieSherie Bounces Back with a RoundUp
reader comment“Has anyone else noticed what great things single and double inverted commas are? They let newspapers pretend all sorts of weird and daft things might possibly maybe true without have to back up rumours and hearsay and tip-offs with hard facts.” Solar Mangé
reader comment“Graphs are also Xcellent for creating totally misleading impressions. The Labour vote in last week's Scottish by-election fell by 1,000 compared to the 2019 general election but lots more SNP and Tory voters stayed at home. Which let the papers confect graphs showing a totally bogus 25% swing to Labour even though their support dropped.” E.K Topic
reader comment“President Boris has lost it if he thinks raising the smoking age will deflect the police from attending crimes. If they can't be arsed to go after burglars and drugs, why would they be bovvered about smoking?” Rowlan Indosh

Differently abledmarkerDigging the hole deeper
Foreign-owned British Airways, the nation's least-loved airline, has gone overboard with the wokery.
   It has commissioned new uniforms for all types and variations, including those like the bloke on the right in the picture who are challenged in the leg-department. Although, it must be difficult for him to transport drinks around a passenger cabin if he has to do it hopping.
reader comment“Looks like the guy with the leg deficit has an extra long arm to compensate if that's his hand on the female person's right shoulder!” Bier Swigger

Past BlasterFive years ago, we were all wondering why anyone would bother to vote in a general election given a choice between Unelectable A (Tories) and Unelectable B (Labour).
   The answer turned out to be A—thanks to the arrival of President Boris on the scene.
   Do we have a Boris Mark 2 lurking in the bushes?

CFLFNF 1: the BC Lions in Hamilton
A promising start by the Lions was squished by a sack. They opened the scoring with a long FG. Add a pick-6 in the first minute of Q2, 10-0. Second & goal from the 5, TD for the Cats after 5 minutes, 10-7. The Lions reached the red zone, to the 5, TD pass by Adams, 17-7. DPI in the last minute helped the Cats to a TD pass by Bo Levi Mitchell in his home debut. 17-14. BC ended the half with a FG, 20-14.
   In Q3, Schiltz was on for the Cats, TD pass to White, 20-21. Boot, 23-21. One by the Cats after 13 minutes, 23-24. BC went ahead with a TD one minute in to Q4, 30-24. Boot after 9 minutes, 30-27. The Cats picked Adams but a penalty put the Cat at their 4 instead of way down the field. Boot! Off the right upright and in! 30-all in the last minute. Whyte @ 0:00, 33-30 and a win for the Western visitors.

bulletIntention : The Hunters become Punters.

ShockHorrorThe last noticeable earthquake in Romiley was @ 1 o'clock in the morning @ the end of February of 2008. Is there a Big One building up?
[If it's going to happen, it's bound to be whilst our cosmetic mayor, Jonah Burnham; the Stafford Hospital, etc. guy; is still wrecking things. Ed.]

bulletQ: What do you get to enjoy if you're female and you visit a unisex bog @ a Labour party conference?
bulletA: An enclosure liberally sprayed with male urine to mollify the transpicaters and other agitaters.

BierBCmarkerBierBC puts record straight
Everything you thought you knew about J. Savile, unconvicted paedophile and Xploiter of this parish, is completely wrong.
   He was the most brilliant bloke in the whole history of the Universe, according to a dramatized version of his career @ the Beeb.
   Created by the BierBC, of course.

CFLFNF 2: the RoughRiders in windy Calgary
Empty backfield as the Riders ended Q1 with an empty score line. On into Q2 to a FG after 2 minutes. The Riders @ the CGY 12, TD, 10-0. They were back for a FG in the 13th minute, 13-0. A time-wasting safety put the Stamps on the scoreboard, 13-2. Boot! by Paredes to close the half at 13-5.
   A 43-yard FG in Q3 put the Riders 16-5 ahead. A fumble gave the ball to the Stamps, TD 2 plays later, 16-12. The Stamps did nothing with a stop on downs but a pick-6 in the 14th minute put them 16-19 ahead! A FG in the first minute of Q4, 19-all. A back-shoulder catch got the Stamps to the RR 1, TD, 19-26. The Riders went out on downs then they were stopped by a sack on a 3rd & 15. The end.

bulletUnanswered Question:
bhurgerYears ago, we asked, "What sort of a veggie wants a burgher that looks, bleeds, sizzles & tastes like a meat-based one?"
   Still nothing sensible on offer by way of Xplication.

Z in a boxPresident 11 of China appears to be more upset by the revelation that one of his submarines got caught in a Chinese sea-bed trap than that the screw-up killed the crew.
   Face is all.
   Minions? There are plenty of those.

Past BlasterA root of the problem
Israel voted for a form of Apartheid [in July 2018], which made Arabs living in Palestine second-class citizens and stripped Arabic of its status as an official language.
bullet [from the same month] Something else windmills are no good for:
Powering air-conditioning on long, hot days. They tend to be at a standstill in the weather we've been having lately [July, 2018] and produce zero power.

Public Service Announcement

He's been called the Blogger of the Decade

His intellect is matched only by the size of his luck and the size of his bank balance. And yet he manages to keep his Feet On The Ground with the greatest of ease. Do yourself a favour and find out what Xavier has had to say about what's going on Right Now!

    WEEK 3    Attachin’ the ‘flower’ to cauli

SherieSherie Returns as the tanks roll
reader comment“Israel is gearing up to Nagorno the Gaza Strip's Karabakh. Still, it takes attention away from the fraud, breach of trust & bribery charges sloshing around their prime monster.” 4T Chewed
reader comment“Are we surprised that the luvvies have gone quiet? Of course, not. It's what whey do when things get a bit inconvenient.” D. Couple
reader comment“If the Iranians are behind the current shindig, how come no one is bombing the fucq out of them? Or is it the usual 'pound the stooges & protect the paymasters'?” B. Iggest

markerThey’re twerps, it’s what they do
Trade unions are busy confecting bullying claims as part of their campaign to bully the medical trade into declaring their bogus male menopause to be "credible & true" to Rodhouse standards.

Edmonton AntlersSNF 1: the Alouettes in Edmonton
Moore with a pylon dive to top off the home team opener. The Als replied with a FG 3-7. Ford did more dashing but Cornelius rushed for another TD, 3-14. Offside by the Als on a 3rd down gave the Antlers a makeable 3rd & 1 at half way through Q2. Moore with another pylon dive, 3-21. The Als scored a TD as the half ran out, then their defence came up with a scoop & score, 17-21. Then they mugged the Ants for the ball, FG in the 14th minute, 20-21. The Ants missed a FG try, which was returned all the way by Fletcher for a TD, 26-21.
   In Q3, the Als extended their lead with a FG, 29-21. Another as the quarter ran out, 32-21. A promising MTL drive in Q4 was stopped by a pick. Nothing from it. Another FG, 35-21. Groan.

CorbynsteinBack-door Man
reader comment“If the beery Smarmer bloke really thinks O.J. Corbynstein will make a really great prime monster, will he step down in his favour if Labour wins the next election?” S. Naphaunce

Past BlasterVocabulary for the Future
bloke, n., a man; woke, n., a woman who thinks she's a man; moke, n., a man who thinks he might be male but isn't quite sure.
girl, n., (young) female person; mirl, n., a male person who thinks he's female.

markerPig in a poke without the pig
The wind farm spivs are considering offering the bribe of a new GP surgery to communities which permit an ear- & eyesore to be built next to them. Only when everything is up and running will they find out that the offer was just for the surgery. GP not included!

SherieSherie Gets To The Point Again
reader comment“Beer Smarmer thinks it's cute to remind everyone he's a lawyer. Sounds like we need to remind him that we know what a lawyer is—someone who will tell you anybloodything if he thinks there's a few bob in it.” Perry Scope
reader comment“Smarmer is a lawyer AND a politician, thus he has no shame squared and ditto total disregard for the truth. Hardly anyone in the Labour lot has had any shame since Bliar & Broon abolished it. Which makes the odd exception, such as Frank Field & Austin Mitchell, so outstanding.” Tank Alabaster

CFLSNF 2: the RedBlacks in T’ronno
Big start for the RBs, TD pass from the TA 9. Kelly to Daniels to the RB 32, on to the RB 1, Charge! 7-all. Crum scramble, pass to Acklin for a high hurdle, on to a TD, 14-7. More Daniels in Q2, on to a TD, 14-all. Not for long. A 91-yard return of the kick off by Harris, 21-14. The TA kicked a FG after 4 minutes, 21-17. The RBs got to & goal, FG, 24-17. One for the Argos in the last minute, 24-20.
   Bede with a FG early in Q3, 24-23. One for the RBs, 27-23. And the Argos, 27-26. Kelly to Daniels for a TD in the 13th minute, +2, 27-34. A mugging gave the Argos the ball and then a FG, 27-37. Same story after 6 minutes, 27-40. Yet another successful mugging with 4 minutes left, no more scoring.

WTFH Why is the Metropolitan Police farce appealing for stuff about what's going on in and around Gaza? It's not as if the Met would do anything even if it had any jurisdiction. Which it doesn't.

VNNVulture News Network
Labour will cut NHS waiting lists by chucking 2 million customers per year off the lists.
Why won't the BBC call Hamas terrorists? Multiculturalism is getting the blame. Which makes doing it okay as whatever the Beeb does is automatically okay under its rules.
Prisons full, rapists getting away with it? Capital punishment is being re-examined, e.g. for shoplifters, as a way to make some space for them.
The BLAME Bunchers are Hamas supporters. And so, by association, is everyone who does the BLAME Bunch kneel down gesture of solidarity. Not something footballers are capable of realizing, apparently.
230 years ago today, Queen Marie Antoinette of France was murdered by a gang of terrorists.

bone helmetMoronic to the max
Surrey police got a booting from a magistrate after blowing £1,000 of taxpayers' dosh on hauling a 59-year-old woman into court after a box of eggs got broken during a row with her 89-year-old mother.
   Total waste of time, was the view from the bench, nothing in the way of a crime in sight.
   A spokes for Surrey police offered a wad of wibble by way of justification.

markerThe Bee’s bum, more like
Discarded Gov. of the Bonk of England M. Carney, the bloke responsible for the present inflation egermency & an enthusiastic member of the Bremoaner Project Fear, thinks Labour's Chancellor wannabe is the bee's knees. About the kindest thing that's being said about R. Reeves by a real person is that she does a conference harangue like an A.I. which has been got at by a Chinese hacker.

Z markerBeer Smarmer is warning that his Wreck Britain programme will involve the nation in enduring 10 endless, miserable years of Labour bungling.
Weaken hordly wait.

Sleepy JoemarkerNo noos like fake noos!
The crisis confecters would have us believe that Creaky Joe paid a $6 billion ransom for 5 people who were illegally imprisoned in Iran.
   In fact, this was Iranian money which had been kidnapped by the US regime of the day to show it disapproved of the crimes against humanity committed by the Ayatollah Bunchacommies' minions.

bulletToday's Wisdom:
It's okay for Creaky Joe to stand by the people of Israel but if he stands next to their prime monster, he's liable to get his pocket picked.

markerWhere the will is absent, it must be imposed
If Britain's fattest man, all 47 stones of him, won't stop hoovering up 10,000 calories per day but he's serious about losing weight, it has to be time for him to get his gob sewn up, apart from a gap for a feeding tube, and be prepared to exist on a couple of protein shakes per day until he's 3 dozen stones lighter.

markerIsrael is applauded as the only democracy in an area dominated by Arabs. But that's not worth more than perhaps one-half of a cheer.
   Certainly not more when its prime minister is corrupt to Putinstan levels and it contains religious fanatics who can compete with the worst that places like Iran have to offer.

Sad GeekmarkerMayoral knee does strenuous jerk
London's cosmetic mayor has his knickers in a twist 'coz someone posted a video purporting to be of a Tube passenger with an apple pip-size, immobile red blob on his leg. The object was accused of being a Parisian bed bug.
   Fumigaters are already hard at work in places like Luton & Manchester, which have direct air links with Paris, and the ones in London are licking their lips over the cost to the taxpayer of debugging the entire Tube network.

Z in a boxGroznyem Budu!
Israel's army is implementing wide-ranging offensive plans, which include bombing Palestinian refugee columns, shelling and killing international journalists reporting from Gaza and wiping out WHO health workers by bombing healthcare centres.

markerDemocracy, but not as we know it, Jim
The government is having to rush through revisions of diversity laws so that it can ban pro-Hamas and pro-Palestinian rights demos.

markerClimate fraudsters are doing their best to suppress the news that the first snows of the year fell in the Cairngorms on the second Saturday of this month, just an inconvenient 71 daze before Xmas.

rat'sVNNRat ‘n’ Vulture RoundUp
Oh, dear. The getting @ blokes industry is at it again. Football boots are designed for male feet & delicate female feet can't cope with them.
Animal rights loonies are attempting to get shark cages banned on the grounds that they interfere with an aquatic creature's right to snack on anything within its range.
The IMF has been forced to admit that its apparently confident forecasts for the UK's bound to be terrible economic performance are based on assumptions, which are usually based on outdated and/or defective data.
Former Formula 1 grandee B. Ecclestone has secured a place in the Guinness Book of Records by getting himself done for £653 MILLION by HMRC for decades of tax evasion.
A Russian attack on the gas pipeline between Finland & Estonia is seen at Putrid the Poisoner's revenge on Finland for daring to join NATO in April.

CorbynsteinOur next prime monster but one?
The Labour party at large wouldn't stand in his way.
furthermore . . .A Smarmer government, before it is booted into touch, will force its customers to watch football and go fishing instead of letting they do what they prefer to do. This is a Conference Pledge. So is ensuring that only Labour MPs are allowed to have 2nd, 3rd & more additional jobs.

markerAnother drip from the drips
The gorbal warmage fraudsters would have us believe that beers will become tasteless because brewers can't be arsed to switch to hop varieties suited to the current climate; whatever it is doing.

tongue manDepartment of No Chance At All
Unchecked migration has left those wishing to rent a local council allotment facing a wait of 15 years before their name comes up. Those of pension age are advised not to bother as by the time their turn comes around, some council jobsworth will rule them too weak & incapable to appreciate the perk.

markerAlibi in place?
A diesel-powered car is being blame for starting the fire that wiped out 1,500 vehicles in a mega-blaze @ a multi-storey car park with no sprinkler system @ Luton airport. "Definitely not an electric vehicle," said a spokes. "No way."
[Doth protest too much? Ed.]
reader comment“No sprinkler system? Someone should go to gaol for that. Oh, no, it's not possible, is it? The gaols are too full even for rapists.” Nosmo King

Unclear SmarmermarkerA question already answered
Back in 2018, some were terrified by the prospect of a Corbynite-led government in Britain. But they were assured that whoever gets in after a general election, the same bunch of clueless snivel servants will still be screwing things up behind the scenes and no one will notice that much difference in practice.
   The same will apply to a Smarmer-led regime. As soon as he runs out of our money, and he finds he can't borrow any more to meet the demands of the money-grubbers, the snivellers will revert to type and go back to doing nothing useful.

bulletWho will kill more collaterals, Net&yahoo or NHS strikers?

bugmarkerGulp! A bedbugologist is claiming that creatures from London are responsible for the outbreak in Paris. Cue the Frogs demanding compenbloodysation?

updateThe annual tax contribution from smokers is now £10.5 BILLION, not a mere £10M.

laughing manmarkerA man with a rubbish plan
Bier Smarmer is claiming that he can abolish NHS waiting lists for the 8 million customers on them if he's made prime monster for 5 years. This tripe has been comprehensively demolished by the NHS Xperts who have spent years bulking up the waiting lists.
   Know your place & your limitations, is their message to Bier.

markerStorm Vavet is punishing us, Comrades, for our lack of appreciation of the glorious Vlad, hijo de Putin. Weather warfare is irresistible.
   Forget today's sunny morning and a bit windy in spite of the deluge of blue on TV weather maps yesterday. This will pass, Comrades, and become something Ivanly Terrible.
[report from Existential Igor]

rageHand out for dosh, gob open for hippocrisy
The UN sends migrants to Rwanda whilst moaning that it's not a safe dumping ground for the UK's unwanteds. But that's the UN for you. Politics always, science & good sense never.

markerVacuums in morals & between ears
Lloyds Bank is getting a booting from the Tories over its weird & warped view of the importance of transpicaters. This is in response to the bank's head of transpication offering counselling to members of staff who were distressed by anything said on this subject @ the Tory party conference.
   Of course, no counselling is on offer to anyone upset by what Bier Smarmer & Co. had to say. That's the way Those People operate.
reader comment“That's all the virtue points scored over Cootts/NatWest by offering a bank account to Nigel Farage wiped out in one foul swoop by one of Those People.” Ten Spott

bulletToday’s Wisdom
Politicians and the truth are like first cousins; not to be wedded.
reader comment“Why does the UN waste its breath on Israel? They don't listen. Never have, never will.” X. Oner8
reader comment“Israel doesn't balance revenge against humanitarian considerations. It just bombs the fucq out of Palestinians until there are none left who are in a condition to object.” V.I. O'Lent

markerSir Bier Smarmer would prefer not to be referred to as Gary Glitter after his on-stage encounter with another Xhibitionist @ his party conference.

laughing manmarkerBelieve it or what
The officially cited BierBC reason for not calling Hamas terrorists is that it would involve taking sides and abandoning the Beeb's pretence of honest impartiality.
   Taking sides is something which the Beeb's stooges do multiple times every hour, but this instance involves crossing a ludicrosity red line.

markerJust be inventive
How do you play the colonialism card on Israel? By recalling that loads of foreigners from all around the world strolled into the area in the late 1940s to hoover up all the traditional Arab lands. Then they nudged the natives into ghettos, like Gaza, and declared them third-class citizens by cancelling Arabic as an official language of the state.
   Remember, anything can be 'proven' if the facts are lined up in the right order and yelled loudly enough to drown out all dissent.

bulletToday’s Science
Sir Arthur Clarke's Fourth Law can be extended to include a version 4a:
"For every piece of Gorbal Warming bunk, there is an equal and opposite debunk."

markerHow Doshan is yer Blida?
Glasgow's Kelvin College has banned a mature student in her 40s on the grounds that her multiple sclerosis makes her a fire hazard. An unreasonable fear on the part of the college's authorities that MS makes people more liable to spontaneous human combustion is being blamed for the Xclusion.

1 beerU turnBier Smarmer would have us believe that anyone hoping to buy their first home will have to wait until the next century due to Tory policies.
   In fact, Labour's tax & waste will leave first-time hopefuls lucky to get a break before C23.

U turnLabour is planning to go into the next general election with a zero promise manifesto to avoid the inevitable accusations of bad faith that come showering in when the party breaks what was offered as an iron-clad promise.

markerThe SNP is developing a severe case of coalitionitis. The members are demanding that ministerial posts should be given only to Green party members "who can actually do the bloody job".
   Shades of when Dave the Leader & the Tories were stuck with UseLEZ Trivial Democraps in ministerial jobs.

O-BummerA Grauniadista is complaining that Xwitter is full of fake news and BS. So what else is new? If it comes out of Stooge City, what else can its output be but garbage?

bulletSpot the Difference:
A house in Harat province of Afghanistan after an earthquake and one in Gaza after a visit by the Israelis.

Recycled stuff can still be relevant
Years ago, an Egyptian museum boss was demanding the Rosetta Stone and demanding that the Britisch Museum put a VR replica @ the gap in its collections 'coz no one would be able to spot the difference.
   Which kinda shot holes in both of his feet. Why not have a VR in Cairo if it would be indistinguishable from the real thing?
   In the spirit of recycling, someone should tell the same thing to the Greeks about the Elgin Marbles. Along with pointing out that VR would be more resistant to the cloud of pollution rising from Athens, or more readily replaced that lumps of artfully carved rock.

SherieSherie Bobs Back
reader comment“Is P. Mandelstein Hamas to Sir Bier's Palestein? That's what a lot of the Labour party see him as.” T. Gravlex
reader comment“Alternatively, he's t.b. liar's smokescreen, attracting attention with his posturing, and doing himself a spot of financial good, whilst the real puppet-master lurks unseen, pulling strings & yanking Smarmer's crank.” Alex Shell
reader comment“Has the state of Israel gained the status of a natural disaster with it's ability to cause a major humanitarian emergency of the magnitude of those caused by volcanoes, earthquakes, tempests, etc.?” Lerco Busier

dinosaurPast Blaster
Sir D. Attenborough remains an icon but as we opined when he was still in his eighties, that doesn't mean he can't spout total bollocks. He sez humans have become the greatest threat to the health of the planet. But planets don't have health. Not when he said it, not now.
   Was the Earth healthier when it was hotter and populated by dinosaurs? Nope. Was it healthier when it was a frozen ice-ball? Nope.
   What Sir D. really means is that humans are doing things which he doesn't like. But does the planet care what he thinks? Nope. Not then and not now. Mainly because it doesn't have a consciousness & awareness. 'Coz if it did, it would have wiped out anything it disliked on the surface with storms, earthquakes & volcanoes.
reader comment“Like it did with the dinosaurs? You don't see many of them around after hundreds of millions of years of eruptions of the Deccan Flats volcanoes.” D. Irection

markerLotz of sound & fury
Israel's plan for Gaza looks like it involves sabre rattling @ the border & cutting off supplies of power, food & medical stuff to intimidate due to starvation, disease and untreated medical conditions.
   Is this better than bombing most of Gaza flat then sending in armoured bulldozers to finish the job? Debatable.
   Every Hamas member has to die and if 2 million other Palestinians go with them, S.O.B. it.
reader comment“It's a policy which encourages more other people's money to flow from Creaky Joe into places where you know who and his cronies can help themselves.” Lecu Brick

The current atmospheric carbon dioxide level has been sufficient to capture 100% of the narrow band of solar infrared which can be absorbed by C=O bonds for ages.
   Thus adding more carbon dioxide to the atmosphere is making Net Zero difference as science won't let the Climate Fraudsters go beyond 100% absorption, no matter how much they wriggle and create.
tongue manThe last time the atmospheric carbon dioxide level was 400 parts per million or greater, the global temperature was 3 deg.C HIGHER than the current value and sea levels were 60 feet HIGHER than they are now.
   Thus the connections made by the Climate Fraudsters between carbon dioxide, global temperatures & sea levels have to be deliberately misleading.

tankmanskullIf they invade Gaza, Israeli troops have been told that the rules of engagement have been slackened and they will be free to shoot anyone they take a dislike to.
   Which leaves us wondering why Mr. Net&yahoo thinks it will take 18 months to send Hamas elsewhere if Gaza is a Total Kill Zone?
reader comment“Is the 18 months a tactic to put off Net&yahoo's corruption trial? Or make him impossible to convict?” L. Evated
reader comment“He certainly seems to be the man they love to hate to love to hate in political circles if only the absolute worst of Israel's political Xtremists will coalition with him. A real Netty No Mates.” Nat Uralgas

skullApparently, the administration of Israel, as of Putinstan, has degenerated into a thieves' kitchen. Mr. Net&yahoo is alleged to have his hand in the till up to the shoulder and no one who wants to pretend to be decent and honest dare form a coalition with his party.
   Thus he was reduced to going to the fringes to keep his nose in the trough. He had to form an alliance equivalent to Labour joining up with the BNP or the IRA to get into government, as far as right-thinking people are concerned.

grinning Hunt the StuntmarkerChancellor Hunt the Stunt’s message to the International Monetary Fraud about its latest forecast DECODED:
"With the greatest respect to the IMF [buncha Labour-supporting tossers], they've been wrong more often than they've been right [the ratio is about 99:1] when it comes to forecasts about the Britisch economy [which is why we take no notice of them]."

“Israel has the same PR problem as Putinstan. Just as there are good Russians sleazed by a corrupt & oppressive regime, worthwhile Jews in other countries are getting the benefit of reactions to the regime controlling Israel.
   “The big difference is that even if the Israelis got rid of the corruption, they would still be stuck with fanatical Arab enemies. A Russia with the corruption cleaned up might be able to enjoy a quiet & prosperous future.
   “Maybe it's just as well that all life on The Planet will be wiped out in the next dozen or so years, as the Just Stoppers & similar looneys would have us believe.” Cy Lent
reader comment“There's a lot of it about. The good Jews & Palestinians are in the same fix as the good Iranians. The ones in gaol for daring to show dissent against religious tyranny. And the Hong Kong dissenters.” D. Oodle

clawsmarkerFinancial penalty claws
No Show fees are becoming standard operating procedure in most parts of the service sector. Hairdressers, eatery operators, the holiday trade, etc., are all requiring card details so that they can cover Xpenses if a client fails to appear.
   And, no doubt, they are running top secret black lists of the persistent bogus bookers.

Answers to CorrespondentsbulletQ: Is anyone in Palestine likely to take notice of orders from Bier Smarmer?
bulletA: He can pon all the tificates he likes in the Commons but no one in the Middle East is listening.
bulletQ: Will universities act on anti-Israel hate on their campus?
bulletA: If they haven't done anything about other hate campaigns in the past, e.g. those waged by vexatious transpicaters, why would they suddenly change their spots?

markerIs Hamas winning the PR battle?
If hospitals in Gaza City are blowing up, killing 500 people, it's a hands down PR win for the victims, no matter who dunnit. This hospital will be forgotten when the next atrocity comes along and the customers will believe whatever suits them best about the cause, no matter how earnestly the ‘investigators' try to sell their assessment of what happened.
   There is no balance now, only bias. Mr. Net&yahoo is always to blame, sez one side, and the Yahooists are trying to play the Hiroshima card to justify killing thousands to Palestinians so that Creaky Joe can ‘persuade' them to call off their invasion of Gaza. And deflect attention away from the corruption of the regime.
[Editorial Note: the number of people killed by a Hamas rocket which dropped short of its target in Israel was 'several dozen'. Boring and a lot less propagandistic than 500, but initially credible with Israel wiping out thousands of Palestinians as collateral casulaties.]

Unclear SmarmerBlatant political lies
We keep hearing loads of BS about swings when parliamentary election results are being talked about.
   The implication from the world 'swing' is that voters have switched loyalty from one political party to another.
   This is particularly egregious BS.
   Take the case of this week's two by-elections in previously 'safe' seats for the Conservatives. We are told that there was a HUGE swing to Labour in both of them, but take a look at the numbers of votes cast:

Mid Bedfordshire 2023
Lab 13,872
Con 12,680
Tamworth 2023
Lab 11,719
Con 10,403

The Labour vote actually fell in Mid Bedfordshire and the seat was lost only because 26,000 Conservative voters couldn't be arsed to turn out for a meaningless by-election, which has little effect on the Boris majority.
   In Tamworth, Labour's vote rose—but insignificantly compared to the 20,000 Tory voters who stayed at home.
   The actual results confirm that there is no great appetite for Bier Smarmer's wishy-washy indecision. If anything, they show that Tory voters might return when there is a general election and only a thousand or two are needed to reverse this week's results. But the Snackstabber and his gang have a lot to do to motivate them.
   On the positive side, just 5-10% of the Tory hold-outs bothering to return in a general election will repair the damage.
reader comment“If Beer Smarmer thinks he can get away with a claim that Tory voters turned to Labour, he's either deranged from too much beer or just a really incompetent liar.” Mac Sedrum

bulletEsso petrol 155.9p/litre.
bulletEsso diesel 162.9p/litre.
Some further small relief on diesel.

CFLFNF: the Stampeders in Vancouver
On a beautiful night, the Stamps zoomed to scoring range, held to a FG. A pick late in Q1 got the CS close, on to a TD, 10-0. Another sack on Adams stopped the Lions in Q2. A Charge! from the 2 ended in a fumble to Calgary!! But they were sacked to a punt? No, a penalty kept them going, A miracle catch at the BC 1 by Begelton and a TD capped off a 109 yard drive, 17-0. BC ended the half with a FG, 17-3.
   BC lost another sack to a penalty in Q3, the Stamps went on to the 2, TD, 24-3. With Evans QBing, BC got to the SC 3, TD, 24-10. The Stamps caught a tipped pass at the BC 15, on to another TD, 31-10. Another pick 5 minutes in to Q4 gave the Stamps a FG, 34-10. BC managed a TD in the 13th minute, no +2, 34-16. Logan ran through tackles for another CS TD, 41-16 final.

markerMake room, make room!
broken barsThe government is hoping to tear up the rule which allows deportation of foreign criminals only in the final year of their gaol sentence to create some more room in a system, which has been creaking even more since bad guys were made to stay in gaol for two-thirds of their sentence rather than the previous one-half.
reader comment“The police are coming for the thousands of Hamas supporters, sez the Home Sec.? Not until they've harassed everyone who has upset the transpicaters.” A.L. Ternate
updateThe blame for the current prison crisis is being dumped on t.b. liar's regime, which doubled the prison population by promoting a vast number of minor offences to prison-worthy as a political gesture.

bulletQ: "There is no place for hate in London", we have been told. How does this square with UseLEZ?
bulletA: Confirmation that the claim is BS has been provided.

reader comment“If universities won't provide safe spaces for Jewish students, are we to assume that the uni bosses consider them to be more robust & stable than the average quivering snoflake?” Arn Thrax

    WEEK 4    Putin the ‘heave’ into achievement

vulturemarker“We’ll put the medal in the post.”
Bier Smarmer's plan to tax private schools out of Xistence has got the teaching unions shrieking with fear over the consequent job losses their members face and the inevitable drop in union income.
   The Labour party & its allies are continuing to pretend that taxing private schools more will have no effect on their affordability and generate billions in tax revenue, which is about as empty-headed a political lie as anyone could come up with.

yellZ markerGulp! Crisis clowns are trying to tell us that Creaky Joe's well-meant bumbling in the Middle East could start World War 3!!!
   How quickly can we get the nuclear bunker refurbed?
Gulp! Private Godfrey's job is safe. Creaky Joe is too decrepit to be in Dad's Army, the Xperts reckon.

CFLSNF 1: the Argonauts in Regina, Susquatchland
The RoughRiders took their 1st drive to a TD despite a possession scare. The Argos came right back at them, 7-all. The Riders kicked a FG toward the end of Q1 and started Q2 at the TA 12. End zone pick, nowt! No mistake next time; the end zone pass went to one of their guys, 7-17. A pick inside the SK 5 stopped the next TA drive. Nothing from it. The Argos added a FG, and then a TD in the last minute of the half, 16-17.
   The Argos went ahead with a FG in Q3. Riders came back with a TD, no +2, 19-23. A fumble let the Argos start Q4 with the ball, FG, 22-23. The Riders kicked a FG, 22-26. The Argos had to make a 3rd & 10 with time running out. On to a TD, 29-26 final after the Riders were stopped by a pick.

marker++ Scammers accused of not trying ++ Only 70% of UK adults targetted by online, telephone & text fraudsters ++ Only 13% lost money ++

markerNews from the storage industry
Stoptober is when the poseur fitness freaks put their home gym gear into storage until January. It then goes back out of sight at the end of February and stays there until June, when the holiday season looms.

Edmonton AntlersSNF 2: the Edmonton Antlers in Winnipeg
The Beast of the West started with a TD run by Olivera. A fumble recovery gave the BB a 0-14 lead. Manny Arceneau went 77 yards to the BB 5, 3rd down TD for Cornelius, 7-14. A FG closed Q1 at 10-14. One for the BB in Q2, 10-17. Olivera again after 13 minutes, 10-24. End zone DPI let Cornelius score again, 17-24.
   A single from a punt in the 7th minute of Q3, 18-24. A TD the other way in the 12th minute, 18-31. Another early in Q4, 18-38. Alexander all the way for a TD from the kick off! 25-38. One the other way for the Blue Bombers, 25-45. The Ants got close in the 11th minute but that was the final score.

cone markerWhen in doubt, be inventive
Lancashire country council is facing legal action over the death of a resident, who died after being hurled off his bike by a pothole trench in the road.
   The council offered the inquest a weird Xcuse for failing to repair the road. Its safety bloke claimed a case of spontaneous pothole closure as his reason for failing to see the crack when he examined the road. His Xplanation was dismissed as ludicrous by a independent highways Xpert.

London bus

markerTaking the ‘transport’ out of Transport for London
Low Traffic Neighbourhoods make buses crawl along @ slower than walking pace, make gridlock chronic and fail to encourage more walking & cycling, an in-depth survey has found. But they do allow local council jobsworths to waste TONs of council taxpayers' money.

Far Queue symbol The chief constable of Northamptonshire is facing misconduct in a public office & fraud charges after wearing medals awarded to his brothers @ ceremonial events and committing the new crime of 'stolen valour'.

Unclear SmarmerNot working class—he don’t do any real work.
   And deferably not a hero!

The votes are in on Bier Smarmer's attempt at his party conference to portray himself as a horny-handed son of toil and the scum of the Earth. It was a total flop.
   Everyone thinks he's insufferably posh & out of touch. Which is probably the only time Mr. Flip-flop has achieved 100%.
   Being privately educated and trying to abolish private schools to prevent others from following his life course hasn't helped Biery Glitter on the hippocrisy front.

stacked coinsmarkerStand (or sit) and deliver
The Gambling Commission is going to stick its fist into the pockets of online betting firms to pay for treating gambling addicts. The companies will have to hand over 1% of profits [cue a surge of fancy accounting! Ed.] instead of the current often nominal amounts that some grudgingly cough up.
   Bookies & casinos will be done for a more modest 0.4% of their profits.

marker17 trucks going in from Egypt and 2.3 million customers in Gaza. They'd have to be bloody big trucks to make anything other than a cosmetic difference.
   And they'd also need to be bomb-proof.
Bombing places in the south of Gaza to which people in the north have been ordered to flee is more piss-taking.
updateWill an Xplosion in a hospital car park kill 500 people? Can you get 500 people into a hospital car park?
   If they're worried about the nearby buildings being bombed and they thought they'd be safer next to a hospital with foreign staff providing international aid, possibly.
reader comment“You want a clear division between opinion & news? Dream on, mate!” 4grand Trash
reader comment“No sign of any American spy satellite images showing the flight of a Hamas rocket from the coast to the hospital car park.” Major Monsoon

Brown cheeze pluggerAll change again
Oh, dear. All the pretend Xperts who've been claiming that cheese is a killer are about to be tipped on to the scrapheap.
   Further research has declared that cheese is good for promoting health and protective against heart & gut diseases, and also dementia.
   Cheese fans are advised to enjoy themselves to the full as the tide is bound to turn again.

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markerPandering to the vexatious
Greenhouse Grotter is attempting to get herself locked up in a British gaol for persistent anti-social behaviour. Cancelling her visa and declaring her persona non grata is beyond the imagination of the wonks @ the Home Office, of course.
   The minions there & their overpaid managers are still dead set on ignoring current government policy and sticking with the Labour plan to hoover up the scum of the Earth and let them grot all over the UK.

SherieSherie Glides Back . . .
reader comment“Last week's agonyfest in the Commons about the Israel/Gaza situation drew buckets of well deserved mockery. Our MPs knew no one in the Middle East was listening but they still went through the motions.
   “Maybe they could all be docked a day's pay to discourage them from future wastes of time of the same sort.” Malc Ontent
first class stampreader comment“It's time to fix our precious NHS, says a Trivial-Democrap leaflet delivered in Romiley. One thing's for sure. They won't get the contract. Which reduces the comment from 'Action this day!' level to just political wibble and drags up memories of Smigol/Gollum going on and on about his 'precious'.” B.U. Bonic
reader comment“Apparently, Bier's foreign affairs guy, Lammy, keeps calling the blasted Gaza hospital the Al Ahli Mosque. Where does Labour get these characters?” S. Napper
[The same place as all the drunken gropers, the arrogant bastards and the other crimes against humanity? Ed.]
reader comment“No surprise that Iran, Israel and the Untied States were all washing their hair when the UN had its ‘peace' jamboree in Cairo @ the weekend.” R. Itemove

markerPositively nowt to look forward to
The National Infrastructure Commission has guesstimated that getting to Net Zero by 2050 will blow £1,000,000,000,000 of our money, which could be spent on things of actual value to the customer instead of pointless political virtue flagging.
The NIC is also advocating congestion charges to keep motorists out of city centres, and spending the cash raised on improving public transport in what is guaranteed to be a vain attempt to prevent further blight of city-centre shopping precincts.

Green Bay PackersWeek 7: The Packers in Denver versussing the Broncos
The Broncos got to the red zone but were held to a FG. Back again at the top of Q2, another FG from it, 0-6. GB missed one in the last minute, another for Denver, 0-9 at half time.
   The Pack managed a FG 5 minutes in to Q3, 3-9. The first TD came in the 9th minute, 3-16. Love to the end zone in the 13th minute, a wrestling catch by his receiver, 10-16. A 4th & 1 made early in Q4 by the Pack, into the red zone, offside wiped out a TD, TD on 4th & 2!! 17-16. The Broncos kicked a FG with 4 minutes left, 17-19. GB were stopped by a pick in the 13th minute. The End.

Playing rugby for your country has a distinct down side. Current & former members of a national squad are liable to be stalked by the gutter press, eager to fill up space with breathless accounts of blokes actually talking in public to mystery women.

1 beermarkerIt’s all in the interpretation cum reality distortion
Bier Smarmer's apologists would have us believe he's not a liar & a hippocrite, he's just inconsistent.
Translation: He sez whatever he thinks his audiences want to hear and whatever he thinks will put them on his side, even if he contradicts himself on a regular basis. For Xample, he was saying Israel has every right to starve the Palestinians in Gaza and cut off power to let the ones in hospital croak last week. Then he did a wobbler.

markerThe honcho of MI5 has been talking up his job. The UK is now threatened from all sectors of the globe, Especially from China.
   Inforus, inforus, they've all got it in for us!
China is also a suspect for the sabotage of the gas pipeline from Finland to Estonia; just to muddy the waters with an alternative BG.

Answers to CorrespondentsbulletQ: Should there be a buttox ban?
bulletA: Deferably. Who wants a butt like an ox? Apart from the odd weird woman.

bulletQ: What are the benefits of Net Zero?
bulletA: There are none. All it will do is waste £1 TRILLION, according to the official guess, on providing what we have now only in a clunkier form that costs a hell of a lot more. All the talk about things being done cheaper are blatant lies.
bulletQ: So the Net Zero really applies to the worth of the politicians & crooks who are imposing it on us?
bulletA: Indeed. Windmills & solar farms do not provide the always-on power that we need anywhere close to neatly & economically. And they are a major source of pollution when they wear out. Worse, the Climate Fraudsters are doing their best to deflect attention from the increased crop yields achieved via the current atmospheric carbon dioxide level.
update 1. That £1 TRILLION is a (deliberately?) crooked underestimate. The more likely number is £3 TRILLION. And the only direction it is likely to move is upwards.
update 2. Upwards to £4 TRILLION, and that's just for decarbonating homes. Beyond that, we're in total collapse of civilization as we know it territory.

The Greenhouse Grotter Question solved

No, it's not a fine you can nag your mother into paying . . .

Finally, the Health Secretary, S. Barclay, has told NHS bosses to bin the diversity crap and spend the cash wasted on £96K parasites on hiring more doctors. Took the bugger long enuff.
   The NHS Confederation would rather waste cash on cosmetic jobs than do anything of benefit to the customers. Its ramblings suggest that it would dearly love to give the 'Elf Sec. a Chinese-style brainwashing to their twisted attitudes.

eyesIt's totally weird how Israel is having to bust a gut over telling the world how scumbaggist the Hamas terrorists are. The death toll of Palestinians in Gaza as collateral damage isn't helping. It's over the 5,000 mark now.
reader comment“No one in the news meeja is daring to call it the 5,000 barrier, I note.” Mekon Siltiam
Israel throws major wobbly after UN Secretary, General A. Guterres, tells Security Council that the appalling attack by Hamas cannot justify appalling collective punishment of all Palestinians. But this is just their standard reaction to anyone who notices their assumed carte blanche to wipe out inconvenient Arabs.
Police farces in trouble for claiming that the law lets them invent imaginary non-hate crimes but doesn't allow them to do anything about people demanding jihad against Israel.

markerAs of yesterday, 5,700 Palestinians killed in Gaza in the last fortnight.
2,000 of them children. Collateral Domage.

No CriminalsmarkerNo good is ever allowed to come from technology advances?
A 'uman rights charity is up in arms over the use of facial recognition technology to catch people who steal from shops. It's making life too tough for the customers?
Using A.I. systems to scan video footage also saves a fortune in human costs and can be more reliable than the Mk.1 human eyeball.

bulletQ: Why is it a bad idea to let air-traffic computer staff Shirk @ Home?
bulletA: Because the buggers cause chaos by watching TV instead of being @ the airport to fix things when they're needed, the boss of RyanGrounded reckons. The chaos, of course, costs his company millions.

markerOpen to abuse!
A lady suggested selling bits of the Sycamore Gap; which was hacked down by a vandal from its home @ Hadrian's Wall; to raise money for good caused.
   One snag—before you know it, the spivs will have created enuff bitz to rival those alleged to be of the True Cross.

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The ButtonLok™ Guardian
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look leftAbandon hope even more
The latest message from DoomBugger HQ is that climate change and energy costs are an Xistential threat to all children.
   Worst, they are Xpected to kill all kids growing up in a low-income household.

VNNVulture News Network
Home Sec. demands to know why Polis of the Metrolopis didn't bust lotz of Islamists at the weekend demos.
Met boss tells Home Sec. that, as he said in a report years ago, the law is too wishy-squashy & soft to give the Met anything stickable to charge the outrage seekers with.
500 trucks of aid adequate, 17 or 20 just tokenism.
The current bedbug emergency is being blamed on a 1960s conservationist who panicked the world's politicians into banning DDT despite its long-term lethality to bedbugs.
reader comment“Another statue to topple into another harbour somewhere?” Bogdan O'Vitch

SherieSherie does Cut & Thrust
reader comment“There's not much of a financial crisis going on if NeatFlix is shoving up its prices and getting lotz more customers.” Doc U. Mentry
reader comment“Could be due to shoplifters being allowed to raise their productivity by 25% in the last year whilst the nation's police farces stood idly by.” Square 4matt

bone helmetMad, bad & dangerous to know
The Metropolitan police farce is being accused of giving guns to idiots after 2 squads with assault rifles bashed a 13-year-old kid off his bike & busted him on suspicion of having a firearm.
   The shambles was initiated by a PC who yelled for back-up after seeing the kid waving a light blue & white plastic water pistol around. Something which the firearms officers failed to realize wasn't a real gun when they were slapping handcuffs on to the battered kid.
reader comment“Not so much a case of institutional rachelism [the kid is of colour, Ed.] as much as monumental stupidity & misconduct in a public office.” X.O. Sett

rat'sRat’s RoundUp
The RMT union is hoping to bugger up Xmas via more rail strikes by its overpaid members. Muck Lunch appears to be not giving them a vote on a 2-year pay deal just because he can.
The Local Government Association is demanding £4 BILLION of taxpayers' money to allow councils to waste it on non-jobs, wokery, pet projects of Net Zero value and other Brown Holes.
The NatWest bank is getting a good kicking for its hippocrisy over the debanking of Nigel Farage by its minion Cootts. Nasty bastards do what nasty bastards do.

skull 2 The mathematics of war continued . . .
6,700 dead Palestinians = 1,400 dead Israelis.
Current affairs have many facets. If not for all the bombing & blasting & further massacres of more innocents in Gaza, Israel's PM would be in court facing more corruption charges.
   But, no doubt, efforts behind the scenes are being made to make all of the bad stuff go away before the present egermency ends. That's the way politics works everybloodywhere.

markerClot’s Corner
markerBier Smarmer is being accused of making the Labour gang even more of a toxic cess-pit than it was when O.J. Corbynstein was in charge. Claiming that Israel has every right to starve the Palestinians in Gaza into submission with a blockade of everything didn't help.
reader comment“Does Sir Bier have a view on Israel ordering Palestinians in the north of Gaza to flee south or be bombed to bitz? Which puts them face to face with the prospect of being squashed by tanks when the famous invasion starts.” Barry Kobammer

If an England rugby player is called a white clot by a Sarf Efrican, there is no rachel sin aspect to the insult. No hate crime 'coz the target ain't of colour.
   And that's supposed to be fair & equitable?
Only in the eyes of the ludicrous left.

bulletToday's Topic:
When does latitude become platitude?

Putin the ‘arse’ in sarsaparilla
Greenhouse Grotter has reinforced her stupid child credentials with a picture of herself with a STAND WITH GAZA sign PLUS a toy octopus, which is a standard trope for the evil Jewish conspiracy, which is trying to wrap its tentacles around the whole world.
   Grotter claims autistic people use toys to communicate feelings. Not very well, obviously, in her case.

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markerHurry on sundown
A good many people in Welsh Wales would welcome World War 3 if it rids them of the looney left regime led by M. Wokeford. If Bier Smarmer ever gets to use Wales as his blueprint for a national government, no doubt the rest of us will be joining in the Welsh plea for WW Three to get a bloody move on.
reader comment“Spending £32 MILLION on road signs in Wales instead of reducing NHS waiting lists tells you everything you need to know about Labour.” Dick Tater

markerNo Xcuses accepted
Where can the blame be dumped when hexagram shapes appear on the doors of the homes of Jews in Berlin? Not on the Narzis, to the chagrin of Those People.
   Diversity, multiculturalism & Mutti Merkel's attempt to fill Germany with migrants have to carry the can.
reader comment“The lady wot wrote about the hexagrams in the Daily Disaster needs specs. The hexagrams in the pix that went with her article were very neat & symmetrical, very tidy and almost discreet, & certainly not 'daubs', as she was unable to resist calling them in an attempt to confect additional outrage.” L.E. Mentary
"We cannot run from Germany, it's our home," said one of the Jewish residents. Substitute Gaza for Germany and you'll get a couple of million Palestinians agreeing with the sentiment.

bulletQ: Why did the BierBC take so long to stop calling Hamas 'militants'?
bulletA: To wind up Those People to the max.

markerSignificant dangerous minority
9% of the population actually think the Just Stoppers are doing something positive to prevent climate change.
   Nice to know that if you're in a room containing 10 people, one of them could well be a dangerous nutter!

markerNo sugar, Sherman
Motorists listening to speech-based radio programmes are more likely to crash than those listening to music, a study has found. Which comes as no surprise. Having to process what's going into the ear 'oles from speech rather than music takes more attention away from what's going on outside the vehicle. Obviously.

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baseball hatToday's Dilemma:
Are we at risk from arsonists from another world?
Or is it just the Chinese getting up to their usual dirty tricks?

Kreepy Starmer beltBeer SmarmerVote Labour, Get Chaos?
Vote Labour, Get Lumbered!
[That's with a bloke with as much charisma as a floorboard & similar leadership qualities, Ed.]

bulletQ: Who's to blame for the woke zombie plague?
bulletA: t.b. liar & the Mandelsleaze infected the public sector when in charge. Dave the Leader, and to a lesser extent President Boris, are also collecting flak for not stomping all over the poison when they had the chance.

Be Advised No, we don't have a female prime monster called Sue Knack. This is just a baseless rumour.

1 beermarkerWhen you are really desperate . . .
Xperts @ the Royal College of Psychiatrists reckon that people who are depressed by winter conditions can cheer themselves up by writing a Dear Winter letter Xpressing how dismal it feels.
   Which leaves us wondering if it will work with Bier Smarmer . . .

cross symbol Squishy Rishy, our amazing prime monster, is being ordered not to let the tech monsters continue to steal from news agencies for their online output, and definitely not let them put the Digital Markets regulator @ a standstill with endless spurious legal malarky.

bulletEsso petrol 155.9p/litre.
bulletEsso diesel 161.9p/litre.

Far Queue symbol Labour is losing dozens of local councillors following Bier Smarmer's endorsement of the Israeli government's right to bomb, starve & de-power the inhabitants of Gaza.
reader comment“It's all very well for Moslem local councillors to demand that Bier Smarmer calls for a cease-fire in and around Gaza, but is anyone doing the shootin' likely to take a blind bit of notice of him? The words 'way' and 'no' spring to mind.” Frei Degg

markerRapid Justice
A bloke fleeing from cops in Australia had the option of giving himself up but opted instead for trying to escape by swimming for it in Queensland's Fitzroy River. Which is full of crocodiles. His remains were found down-river from the daft decision point.

bulletQ: An A.I. tech company boss is claiming that there is a 10-25% chance that the products of his line of business will wipe out humanity. Based on what?
bulletA: A desire for tech firms to call all the shots about regulation.

markerThe Grim Reaper Number used to be 27 for rock stars, e.g. Jim Morrison & Jimi Hendrix. Now, it's 82 for celebs, e.g. Pele & Sir Michael Gambon.

CFLFNF the Last of the year: the Blue Bombers in Calgary
The BB were held to a 51-yard FG from their opener, then there was a scattering of snow. They added another FG for 6-0. A fumble recovery set up another FG in Q2, 9-0. The Stampeders had a FG miss but a later chip shot was on target, 9-3. Boot again with a minute left, 12-3.
   The snow was hoovered up during half time. Paredes on target in Q3, 12-6. The Stamps bagged a fumble, TD from it, 12-13. A big pass then running through tackles gave Bailey a 68-yard TD for the BB, 19-13. Another a minute into Q4, 26-13. A 5th FG from Castillo, 29-13. QB keep, TD for Prukop, 36-13 final.

The MuggerH2S bosses have been outed for lying about the true cost of Gordon F. Broon's Brown Elephant and sacking minions who didn't like the idea. No bosses, of course, will be sacked or lose bonuses for misconduct.
Some of the cash not spent on the northern leg of H2S will go on buses, which will crawl along at less than walking pace in anti-traffic neighbourhoods.
There won't be that much cash for buses as the dolts still in charge of H2S are Xpected to blow the £100 BILLION for a London to Manchester link on just the London to Brum leg.

baseball hatToday’s Dilemma:
Should you feel cheerful to be told you're getting a Winter Fuel Allowance of £500, or depressed because it's probably a lot less than the extra the spivs & war-mongers will be grabbing off you?

Kreepy Starmer belt++ Beer Smarmer remains bolted to fence ++ Now called Janus Smarmer as facing both ways on Israeli response to Hamas & mass slaughter in Gaza ++ Heading for Quadruple-anus status so that he can look N, S, E & W simultaneously? ++

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VNNVulture News Network
Over 500 mass-shootings with multiple loss of life in the Untied States so far this year? Nutz. Gunz in the hands of nutz.
Israel's invasion seems to be being put off until everyone in Gaza is too weak from starvation to get out of bed.
The Royal Navy is not allowing laundrypersons on warships to be Chinese to prevent one of our enemies from blackmailing information out the washerpeople if they refused to become voluntary spies.

    WEEK 5    Putin the ‘gent’ into insurgent

markerAngels & pinheads—guess who the pinheads are
The reason why police farces are doing nothing about hate chants @ mass demos is out of its box. They are too busy twatting about by trawling the WWW for stuff they can pretend is hate & non-hate, and they have no one left to go out into the streets where the real action is.

US flagJust a thought . . .
The Untied States didn't call an official end to the mid-20th century war with Germany until October of 1951, over 6 years after the surrender. Is that what a certain Middle Eastern PM is hoping will happen to keep the corruption charges against him on file?

CFLSNF 1: the TigerCats in Halloween Montreal
The TC blew the kick off return and the Alouettes started at the TC 30, TD from it. Fajardo was felled for the 59th sack on an Als' QB next time they had the ball. The Als pulled off a dribble kick but coughed the ball up. TC FG from it, 3-7. The Als started Q2 with the ball after forcing a fumble. Sack #60, FG and a miss; which was returned by McAllister for a TD! 10-7. A FG for the Als in the 9th minute,10-all.
   Add a single from a punt in Q3, 10-11. The Cats retook the lead with a FG. The Als returned a punt for a TD at the start of Q4, +2, 13-19. The Cats went ahead with a TD after 5 minutes, 20-19. A FG try by the Als missed. The Als took a pick to FG range, 20-22. A fail Mary @ 0:00 was picked by the winning Als.

The Reader Speaks, edited by Sherie:
reader comment“What we need to do is ban all foreigners. And make noticing them illegal. The UK would be a quieter & more pleasant place if that happened.” Dan Hauser
reader comment“How strange that Those People are allowed to get away with the hate crime of demanding that GB Views be closed down if Ofcom sez the odd interview didn't asks tuff enuff questions but the BierBC is allowed to get away with it on a regular basis.” Bier Hartly-Worthit
reader comment“Is the BierBC bovvered that it has lost the support of the Israeli people? Given that the IP are just a tiny minority compared to the pro-Palestine community, probably not that much.” Hazi Tate
Sheriereader comment“All the wonks yelling for GB Views to be closed down should have their UK citizenship; or visitor visa; CANCELLED for causing damage to the UK's collective IQ.” Ban D'Age
reader comment“Another Past Blaster for you—describing 'art' of the sort churned out by D. The Pickler Hirst as being at the farty end of arty-farty.” Claudetheboys Vanderpoise

1 beerbulletQ: Why are they called Pollyticians?
bulletA: 'Coz they sit on a perch & parrot words without having a clue what they mean.

markerCan we call them Narzis if they’re using Narzi tactics?
The dickheads running the library @ Cambridge U. want the academic staff to identify all books which might, maybe, may upset snoflakes & wonks. First step, a blacklist. Second step, bonfires of books?

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All the bad guys CANCELLED
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CFLSNF 2: the Argonauts in the nation’s capital
The Argo opener ended with a pick; followed by a pick-6 by the Argos! 7-0. Another in the 13th minute, 14-0. The RedBlacks made their 2nd pick only to have a pass deflected to the Argos. The RBs were held to a FG in Q2, 14-3. The Argos turned the ball over with 3 minutes to go; no damage. An RB FG squeaked through in the last minute of the half, 14-6.
   Another RB FG 9 minutes in to Q3, 14-9. The Argos went further ahead with a TD, 21-9. The RBs looked likely to score but coughed the ball up, FG from it, 24-9. The RBs managed a TD in the 9th minute, 24-16. The TA kicked a FG with 3 minutes to go, 27-16. The RBs got to the end zone with 16 seconds left, no +2, 27-22 final. End of the regular season.

bulletToday's Question:
Yesterday was National Cat Day. Did anyone notice?

hollybaseball hatThe Official Xmas message from the Notional 'Elf Service:
1. Don't get ill.
2. If you do, don't Xpect to survive.
3. Your grief is our relief from overloading.

Be Advised The veganists are still beavering away behind the scenes to find a court which will declare their deviation a religion. They are also seeking to frustrate the climate criminals because they think a hotter climate will wipe out animals and leave plants in charge.

markerJust selective scaremongering
There is a huge amount of BS being talked about A.I.s; especially by our prime monster, Sue Knack. They are no more dangerous than nuclear weapons which have fallen into the wrong hands. But there is no agitation to get ride of nukes going on which is likely to be successful.

Green Bay PackersThe Vikings in Green Bay
The Viking opener produced a missed FG try. A TD next time they got close. Another FG try worked in Q2, 10-0. GB managed a FG at the end of the half, 10-3. Another TD for the Vikings in the 6th minute of Q3, 17-3. A pick gave the MV great field position, TD on the next play, 24-3.
   GB made a 4th & goal for a TD in the 13th minute, 24-10. The Vikings were back in Q4, sacked to a FG try, which flopped. GB went to scoring range, stopped on a 4th down. A fumble after 9 minutes gave the ball to GB @ the MV 21, out on another 4th down. No more scoring.

BierBCThe BierBC is in trouble for claiming that the notion of white privilege is based on hard science rather than a ludicrous left theory of convenience with Net Zero merit.
   In fact, it's just more blamenomics by people taking our licence money off the Beeb with their scams and being allowed to do so by dozy oiks.

Answers to CorrespondentsbulletQ: V.C.s?
bulletA: Vexatious Creeps. Usually Those People but it has to be extended to include their many imitators; and even their rivals at times.

bulletQ: Does Israel bag any credibility by claiming its bombing raids on Gaza are targetted?
bulletA: As there is no way of confirming its claims that it is going after Hamas and all the dead others are just unfortunate, those on Israel's side will believe it and those who aren't won't.
reader comment“And everyone else will assume it's just more of the mindless routine propaganda of the sort that comes out of any conflict.” Bombda Fukoota
updateThe UN Secretary, General A. Guterres, has rejected the attacks on his integrity as misrepresentative. Which effectively cancels them.

bulletMathematics of the Middle East:
Currently, one Israeli life = 5.71 Palestinian lives.

scream!Past BlasterBack in December 2018, there was some discussion about the label for the next American Crunch Super Bowl. Using letters rather than the Roman idea of numerals, it came out as ZZA for number 53.
   In the spirit of continuation the label for the Super Bowl next year has to be ZZF. Which is more compact than the NFL's preference, LVIII, or the more revolutionary LIIX.
[The IIX concept for 8 was devised by a Romiley Literary Circle member, who started using MMXIIX as an alternative for the date added to artworks created in 2018. Ed.]

gale forceUnclear SmarmerBier Smarmer Xplained:
He waits to see which way the wind is blowing before offering what he hopes will be a vote-worthy guess. Unfortunately, he's no better than the BierBC @ working out what the wind is doing. Not that this appears to bovver him even a little bit.
Where there is space, let it be wasted!
The recent floods in the north & east of the Britisch Isles were due to the wrong sort of rain, T. Coffey, the Enviromint Sec., has announced.
   Apparently, we are geared up for lotz of rain coming from the west. The Enviromint Agency & the Met Office were caught with their collective pants down when it arrived from an easterly direction, and failed to get effective advance warnings in place.

markerMore schmustice
Just slaps on the wrist for 3 Just Stoppers who tried to sabotage a Test Match and do the cricket industry out of millions from TV income.
   More derision was heaped on the UseLEZ court system, which leaves the nation's stockpile of this necessity running dangerously low.

Humbug UselessmarkerHumbug Useless gets it right, shock horror!
How? By declaring that the defection of the former SNP leadership challenger A. Regan to the Salmonella-led Alba party—becoming its sole MP and therefore leader of its parliamentary group—is no great loss.

markerA Japanese restaurant which has just opened in London has been awarded an instant 'Avinga Laff award for charging 900 quid for a Kobe steak.

rat'sRat’s RoundUp
The French are accusing malign actor hackers in Putinstan of spreading lies about the bedbug egermency in Paris and attempting to make it look far worse than it actually is.
A think tank seems to be hell-bent on talking the NHS waiting list up to 9 million by the end of next year. Why, remains undisclosed.
Bier Smarmer sez his campaign to close private schools is not ideological. Which can mean only that he's being a scumbag 'coz he can. Knowing it will cost the taxpayer half a billion quid per year to educate all the kids shunted out of the private sector.
The kindest thing said about Bier Smarmer in the last week or so is 'constipated clunker'. Worse to follow?
The Daily Mail is claiming the credit for a 9x increase in the number of potential criminals in the migration/asylum lawyer trade under investigation.

wrecking cranemarkerA sport to try when Jr.Dox walk out again!
1. Turn up with a big crane with a big wrecking ball
2. Swing your improvised bowling ball at the unruly mob on the picket line.
3. If you can knock all of them down @ the first try, leap up and down yelling, "Strike!"
4. Proceed to another unruly mob and repeat steps 2 & 3.

bulletToday’s Question:
How does snooker get away with it, having a white cue ball, which bashes all other colours into the o'blivion of a pocket?

bulletToday’s Other Question:
How do Tycoons get away with having the ultra-pejorative 'coon' in their appellation?

tongue lLest We Forget:
gary bloody lineker was given permission by the BierBC to ignore its ban on posting crap online 'coz he's not a news reader and therefore he is just a person of no consequence. And the same has to apply to other BierBC hirelings in the same position.

ANALYSISIsrael doesn't seem to be going after Hamas in any serious way. Is the corruption-beset prime monster spinning things out to try to build up enuff war hero points to make all the charges against him evaporate?

Stop PressThere are over 11 MILLION NHS customers on hidden waiting lists for follow-up treatments. Add the number of people waiting for a treatment of some sort and the real NHS waiting list becomes 20 MILLION.
   That's nearly one-third of the UK's unhealthy population!
The hidden lists are kept out of sight to conceal management failures and prevent loss of undeserved bonuses.

bang!markerTainted Brand
The United Nations is a prime Xample of how words lose their meaning when they fall into the poisoned pit of politics.
   United? Nope.
   It is just a money-making, power-broking club run by some really evil people with the power to veto virtue in addition to a scattering of honourable bods.
   Its talking-shopness is emphasized by the way nations which don't like a resolution ignore it and there are no consequences.

coin stackJust plain unaccountable
Over 90% of local authorities have failed to file accounts for the year 2022/23. The assumption has to be that they don't want the customers to see Xactly how their cash is being abused.
   What the government needs to do is impose a fine of £500 on each of an offending council's members; that's the councillors; and also the management staff, and increase the bill by 20% for every month the enforcement notice is ignored.

heatwaveBelow the line mission statement: Some of the above is true. BFN is recognized as a premiere class observational blog and a multiple winner of the OB of the Year award.
   We are constantly exposed to dodgy conclusions drawn from dodgy data by the 'experts', especially those found in the world of politics and especially those at the Treasury and in opposition and running trade unions.
   Some of us civilians at BFN like to join in to let them know that anyone can do it and we ain't impressed by their efforts.

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