WEEK 1    Putin the ‘con’ into constructive

 
In Week 1 of August, it was:
Esso petrol 142.9p/litre.
Esso diesel 146.9p/litre.
The story in the first week of September is:
Esso petrol 151.9p/litre.
Esso diesel 155.9p/litre.
The rip is going outrageously in the direction of off.

Totally unfit to sit in judgement on anyone
Judge P. Robinson of the International Court of Injustice is demanding slavery reparations from people in the UK who never had anything to do with the slave trade. He wants the cash paid to people who were never victims of the slave trade.
   Which has to be grounds for instant dismissal from his job on the grounds of incompetence & defective morals.

NatWest, by your side like Lloyds Bank?
Not if it chooses to Farage you, of course, then you're screwed.

Valid question
If the wheels have come off the German economy thanks to the efforts of Angular Mherkel and now Sergeant Schultz & the Greens, and our country had been mad enuff to make O.J. Corbynstein the PM and let him cancel Brexit, where would the money to keep our broken country chugging along at a low ebb have come from?

Not for the first time
How dreadful it is that the Home Sec., S. Braverperson, is having to smack the nation's police farces round the back of the head to make them use video & other evidence provided by the victims of crime instead of ignoring it, which they have been doing for years to concentrate on imaginary hate crimes. And even more stoopid non-hate non-crimes.

Q: Do we give a rat's arse for the Spanish football kiss?
A: Not even an amoebum's bum.

NASA is pushing ahead with its plan to create a quiet supersonic airliner, which will cross the Atlantic in an hour & a half instead of the 3 hours that the Concordes took and the 5 hours present passenger airliners take.
“Keeps them busy if they're not doing all that much in space at the moment.” B. Oldlygo

A result of conscious bias training?
1. The Home Sec. has had to boot useless snivel servants up the bum to force them to stop handing taxpayers' dosh to the Stonewall selective diversifiers.
2. The BierBC is in trouble after being caught in the act of painting a white hand brown in a picture of someone putting a voting slip into a Welsh dragon ballot box.
   The original picture, with the white hand, is still on the BierBC website with an article from 2018 about encouraging youngies to vote.

“It's obvious the NHS is getting way too much money if it has cash to waste on rainbow badge crap & indoctrination courses which take doctors away from the customers whilst they are force-fed poisonous crap.” Collar Terrel

Q: What do you get if you're the ancient paedophile sometime news editor of a national newspaper?
A: Away with it.
Q: Why are woke people who pose as a comedian so totally unfunny?
A: Because they have been invaded by a brain worm, wrigglus kumarens, which leaves them unable to be in touch with reality.
Q: Will an apology to the Air-Traffic Control Service boss be of any use to people who are stuck or can't travel?
A: Not even use approaching that of a chocolate teapot. At least you can eat a chocolate teapot whilst stuck @ an airport.
Q: Does anyone believe Sadgeek K'han't when he sez he's being honest about air pollution?
A: Some Labourites claim they do but no one actually does.

Just one-third of the $90 million donated to the BLAME Bunchers after the riots & arson about in the Untied States went to charities. A more than nice HUGE earner for the organizers & their mates!

The pot which is never empty
MPs who lose their seats in Parliament are to get a double pay-off—4 months' pay instead of 2. An MP who was evicted claims there is a lot of ludicrous burrocrazy involved in closing down an MP's office and the waxworks can drag it out for as much as 3 months.
   Good tale if you believe it.

Money muffles morality
The Jr.Dox & consultants will be on strike again this month and next month. More people will die as a result. Do they care? Do they buggery.

Britisch Museum Update:
Hartwig, the boss, is history, no doubt with a suitable goldarn goodbye, but not Williams, the deputy director, who claimed there was nothing missing when the whistles were blowing.

No matter how much price-capping goes on, energy prices will still soar. The spivs are just going to shove up their standing charges.

Not the brightest spark by any means
V. Ramaswamy, who's hoping to carry the Republican Flag into the coming US presidential election, is billed as a biotech entrepreneur. His millennial universal ignorance about the state of the world suggests that he's in the snake oil trade.
“He does keep getting caught out in obvious lies, which tends to confirm the snake oil diagnosis.” Pi Rightease

You don't actually have to play much tennis to make a lot of dosh out of it. Britain's E. Radicalcanoe, rated 186th in the world, proved this by raking in the best part of £12 million from sponsorship deals last year.

Wheels coming orf
Oh, dear! The absolutely brilliant but unobtainable weight loss drug semaglutide is really rather NBG. It gets rid of muscle as well as fat, which slows down the metabolic rate & screws up weight loss and not putting weight back on.
   No worries. There's another miracle on the horizon. It suppresses appetite & revs up muscles. Shame someone is bound to find something terribly wrong it but that seems to be the way it goes with medical miracles.

Hysteria Rulz, Nokay!
‘Germany likely to plunge into a recession', yelled the journalists, who aren't bothered about the real world.
   ‘Germany likely to slip into recession by not growing the economy', say the banksters, who reckon to know about these things.

Booze monster Heineken has been forced to dump business assets worth €300 MILLION in Putinstan for a token €1. Nice business if you can get it.
   Which you can in a kleptocracy.

Today's Definition: Diversifier
A fascist lefty who throws a wobbly when anyone else Xpresses an opinion which clashes with theirs, e.g. Pixie Balls-Cooper.

Bondage is being considered as a possible guest sport to include in the 2028 Olympic Games. Alternatively, it might be included in the 2026 Winter Olympics to make conditions more challenging for the contestants.

Something worth remembering the next time he starts sounding off is that what Gordon F. Broon did to the British economy was on the scale of dropping a nuke on the Hoover Dam.
   The repair work will drag on for decades and that's why things are still bad over a dozen years after Broon was booted oot of office.

The UN's GW fraudsters still haven't told us why sea levels are 20 metres LOWER than they were the last time atmospheric carbon dioxide was similar to today's level.

“This Instagram thing is a real joke if you can have 97,000 mugs ‘following' zero posts.” Threemenin Abbot
“Looking on the bright side, that's 97,000 mugs not being Xposed to buckets of fatuous garbage.” Pete Boggs

Esso petrol 152.9p/litre, Esso diesel 157.9p/litre. Up and up and up.

200 weekenders with tons of high-tech gear swamped Loch Ness @ the last weekend of August to look for a mythical monster. The Loch Ness tourist industry received a welcome boost, the visitors larked about a bit and surprise!! There was no sign at all of the non-existent monster!!

Even looney left trade union bosses are sounding off against UseLEZ as it is robbing their paying customers and leaving them unable to shove up union subs.

Transpicater agitaters have been voted The Pits of the Universe and even worse than the Vogons, who are reported to be feeling crushed.

Sherie Does a RoundUp
“Seeing an array of rainbow badges will be an awful warning to NHS customers that the treatment on offer won't be up to much as the staff will be too busy obsessing with pronouns & other trivia to be bothered with what's wrong with the customer.” X. Cruciate
“Getting rid of this BS is never going to happen as long as the snivel service keeps shovelling our cash @ the spivs who are building the hoops for normal people to be made to negotiate.” Justin Case
“The civilized thing to do would be for the people who don't know which sex they are to try to fit in with the vast majority and for the gang who don't want them to just to drop dead.” P. Treidish
“It's the public duty of minorities to fit in with the mores of the majority. Most of them do. The trouble tends to arise from people with nothing useful to do, who are seeking personal publicity; and dosh; from pretending to be defending an oppressed minority.” Beltan Brakes
[Definite majority view. Ed.]

SatNF: the BC Lions in Montreal
To start Labour Day weekend, the Als got close, just a FG after 6 minutes. The Lions reached the MTL 5, TD, 7-3 in the 11th minute. Another FG for the Als. The Lions drove into Q2. FG in the first minute, 10-6. A bomb pass in the 12th minute, caught it in a crowd, TD, 17-6. To the BC 9 with a minute left, FG, 17-9. Another from Cote closed the half at 17-12.
   A brilliant TD catch in the end zone put the Als ahead, nearly +2, 17-18. The Als were sacked to a FG try; for a single; after 9 minutes, 17-19. The Lions went ahead with a TD for Mack, 24-19. A 69-yard dash by Stanback to open Q4! 24-25. The Lions went ahead with a FG, 27-25. Fajardo was picked in the end zone to give the ball to the Lions. They sealed the deal with a TD, 34-25 final.

A prawn mayo sandwich with crisps & a drink has the same carbon footprint as a 53-mile drive between London and Brighton, some drone has calculated.
   Should this worry us? Not if a carbon-print of this size is entirely notional and totally inconsequential, even if everyone in the country trod it every day.

Q: If you're French and you commit a war-crime massacre of German prisoners @ Meymac, Correze, what do you get?
A: Away with it.

The latest panic scare story is that if you are put on an NHS waiting list, you will die.

The latest NHS wizard idea is blood pressure checks done in barber shops for ‘men who are reluctant to visit a doctor'. Maybe they need to change that line to ‘men who are reluctant to raise their blood pressure by doing battle to try to get a doctor's appointment'.

Today's Wisdom:
Most people's standards are completely soluble in alcohol.
   [Scots comedian Leo Kearse whilst doing Headliners on GBViews]

Despite the costa living crisis, 46% of customers have felt no need to switch to cheaper brands when doing their supermarket shop.

Someone to Remember:
Sergeant G. Saville of the Nottinghamshire Constabulary, who died in the line of duty at the end of last month.
   "We honour the dead by remembering the names of the dead."

Another Freebie
Britisch taxpayers are funding another mission launched into space from India. This one is heading to a closer orbit around the Sun to study particle emissions.
   Large outbursts heading in our direction can knock out satellites around the Earth if protection measures are not taken. Which is why there are satellites parked close to the Sun already to watch out for big emissions. The latest Britisch-paid-for effort is in orbit some 930,000 miles closer to the Sun than the Earth to put it in free space and well clear of planetary influences.

Scouting Out
Is the Foreign Sec., J. Cleverly, sucking up to Pres. Eleven of China? Or are the DoomBuggers trying to spin this line with no evidence to back them up?
   Maybe it's not someone like Boy George Osborne looking to make some money.
   Maybe it's a bloke with more than 2 brain cells to rub together taking a close look at the enemy abroad as a break from looking at the ranks of enemies at home.

Is it reasonable to maintain this myth that there will be a vast number of oldies swamping a creaking NHS in the near future? The medical trade seems to be doing its best to reduce customer numbers by denying treatment or delaying it until after the point of no return.
   A much more likely scenario is that the NHS will have to start shedding unnecessary bodies as it struggles to justify its present income on cost effectiveness grounds due to a decaying elderly population.

Whenever Sadgeek K'han't quotes statistics to support his UseLEZ scam, they will be either deliberate misrepresentations, e.g. omitting to mention that most of the ‘pollution' comes from sources other than vehicle engines or failing to mention that it's a ‘result' that he paid for, or outright lies.
   Perhaps the worst of these is the claim that 4,000 Londoners per year die due to air pollution. This is just a vague guess based on dodgy statistics and not even close to the truth.
“Bad people do bad things. Further confirmation.” Cal Amity
“Having the same number of vehicles buzzing around and taking money off the drivers has zero effect on air pollution reduction. And any Sadgeek who tells you different is lying and knows he's lying but still does it.” Cor Litoff

Nope, not a rule
Retired BBC weatherman B. Giles (83) has demonstrated that great age doesn't necessarily bring great wisdom. He reckons a drab climate here is preventing Brits from getting their knickers in a twist over the climate egermency.
   Maybe someone needs to sit the venerable gent down and Xplain that our carbon dioxide emissions have fuck all effect on the global climate and nothing we do here makes a scrap of difference.
   Also, he and his ilk need to stop pretending otherwise & stop whingeing @ people who aren't causing the problem.

The Deviants' Alliance is trying to tell students @ Oxford U. that foreign countries which ban homosexuality do so because they were told to by Britisch colonializers.
   No Xplanation is on offer for why the bans have stayed in place in these now independent countries long after the colonializers left—many decades ago, in fact—having completed their civilizing.

Video of the ‘outraged' Spanish footballeress laughing & joking about the kissgate-in-progress picture on her phone kicks the legs out from under her.
Red card for the poseuress.
“There was no assault. A three-day delay before the PLS** routine? Fatal to her compenbloodysation case.” Lerga Vrosch
[** Pool Little Stinker. Ed.]

Enemies, internal & external
The Chinese have joined forces with the Labour party to confect data to ‘prove' that grammar schools don't give exam results that exceed those of state schools and they have a negative effect on mental 'elf.
   Natch, it's to the benefit of China's waxworks to support Labour's desire to cancel our best schools. Could there be a spot of financial encouragement involved? Not beyond the bounds of possibility.

SunNF: The Blue Bombers in Regina
A short kick off gave the ball to the RoughRiders, nothing from it but the BB were picked right away, FG from it, 0-3. Lots of defence, lots of Olivera for the BB. A huge pass play 6 minutes in to Q2 got the RR away from their goal line. On to the 1, Charge! for a TD, 0-10. Collards to Demski for a one-handed catch, TD to come, 7-10. Another FG for the Riders in the 14th minute, 7-13.
   Almost a TD for the Riders 6 minutes in to Q3, Lauther on for a FG, 7-16. A bomb to Demski @ the RR 3, Olivera in for a TD, 14-16. Another RR FG to close the quarter, 14-19. One for the BB after 4 minutes of Q4, then a single from a punt by the Riders, 17-20. The BB reached the SK 5 in the 11th minute, held to a FG? One of the SK defenders nutted Collards, major foul, half the distance, first down. Olivera again, 24-20. A punt with 3 minutes left gave the Riders a single. The Riders kicked a FG, 24-all, OT on the way.
   The Riders to the goal line, a second TD for Pipkin, +2, 24-32. Collards to Lawler for a TD, no +2!!! 30-32 final. Wow!

The BierBC is getting a booting for keeping quiet about the machete thugs @ last week's Notting Hill carnival.
“If the NHC is blacque culture, then no thanks.” Doshan Dodds
“No doubt Sadgeek K'han't will tell you the NHC is saving The World from gorbal warmage.” Dunner Runner
“What the NHC needs is surveillance drones, which can be used to shoot dead any thug waving a machete or a zombie knife around. That would put a stop to it in short order.” Abseil Abbott

The Argos in Hamilton on Labour Day Monday
The Argonauts' opener produced a FG. The next drive ended in a pick. They were at the TC 2 after 11 minutes, TD run by Harris, 10-0. A pick stopped the TigerCats. A bomb from Kelly to the end zone, TD for Daniels, 17-0. The Cats missed a FG try for a single with 4 minutes left in the half. Another pick by the Cats; this FG try scored, 17-4.
   A TD 5 minute in to Q3, no +2, 10-6. The Argos collected a single from a punt. An end zone TD catch by Cote after 13 minutes put them 24-10 up, the PAT missed. The Cats kicked a FG in the last minute of the quarter, 24-13. Kelly rushed for a TD after 5 minutes, 31-13. The Cats battled to the TA 3, +2, 31-21. Another TD for the Argos in the 12th minute put them into a winning position, 38-21. Plus a FG from a fumble recovery, 41-21. The Cats scored a TD with 13 seconds left. 41-28 final.

Be braced for bollocks from the Met Office gang this week. They're out to confect world record temperatures and by hook or by crook, they will.
[Forget the hook. Ed.]
“The bollocks of the claim that there's a meteorological autumn which starts on the first of this month rather than the 21st becomes apparent when the Met Office starts going on about a summer heat wave going well into this month. If it's still summer, why not?” Palin Drome

Well, it’s a good story, but that’s all it is
Professor A. Loeb of Harvard U. appears to be a fantasist of the first order. He examined some minute metallic melt spheres from a meteor impact site off Papua New Guinea & started to claim they could have come from an alien spacecraft rather than being the remains of cosmic debris from beyond the solar system & perfectly natural.
   He would also have us believe that the Earth may have been visited by extraterrestrials at some time or but he has nothing at all in the way of evidence for this to offer.
“Sounds like he's out of the same science fantasy box as Sadgeek K'han't.” Bro Bidgel
“There may have been a fly-by by the Spiders From Mars, but if they didn't drop in to say 'hi!', who's to know?” Col Ective

The Arnoldater tries out his new Katanvig™ on a real challenge!
[The chainsaw Xpert's chainsaw. Ed.]

Do YOU want Relentless & Unstoppable? The Katanvig™ brand is a delight to use Standard, Maxi & Mega sizes Tools 4U, Unit 11b, Romiley Trading Estate

People Power
Armour plating UseLEZ cameras is proving ineffective against an attack on the camera lens with paint.
A spray of cement is also effective.
The number of cameras put out of action varies between 25% and 79%, depending on the indignation quotient of the area concerned.

Finally, The Edmonton Antlers in chilly Calgary
A big strike for the Stamps early on, just a FG. They got a single from a punt after 10 minutes, 0-4. 40 yards for Ford to the CS 1, Cornelius on for a TD, 7-4. 7-all after a CS FG 6 minutes in to Q2. The Ants went ahead with a single from a punt. A pick by the Ants at the CS 49, FG, 11-7. Which became 18-7 after a TD in the last minute of the half Time enuff for a long FG from Paredes @ 0:00, 18-10.
   A FG for the Ants 5 minutes in to Q3, 21-10. One for the Stamps, 21-13. Another huge dash by Ford, on to a TD for Dunbar, 28-13. Maier ran for a TD after 5 minutes of Q4, 28-20. A long FG from Faithfull, 31-20. DPI got the Stamps to the EA 1 with 3 minutes to go, +2, 31-28. A TD Calgary with 20 seconds left. CRAP. 31-35 final.

Today's scam call came from 0161 439 1429
The recorded voice claimed the user's internet connection is being used for criminal purposes and threatened to cut off the user's BT services.
   What was the dead giveaway? The user doesn't use BT for phone & internet!

What the bogus weather record confecters aren't telling us is that the Sun may be shining, but it's also windy. It feels like half a gale at ground level sometimes. Which means that it doesn't feel like you're in the Sahara Desert when you're out & about. Unless you're wearing a pullover and the substantial anorak with your cash & cards in the pockets.
The BierBC has been forced to admit that all its ‘world on fire' propaganda is bollocks and 2023 has been nothing special in terms of wildfires.
“So much for all the twats @ the UN and their 'world on fire' rants. They're either liars, who shouldn't be in the job, or too dim to spot the lies and unfit for their job.” Luxury Yacht

Place your bets
Is the female Spanish footballer who was kissed by the Spanish FA official doing her poor little stinker act because:
1. She's genuinely outraged [unlikely]
2. She was okay with it but bullied into the act [likely]
3. There's something in it for her [likely]

Moronic Myths No. 86:
The UK snivel service has been of 'Rolls Royce' quality within living memory.

Laterality Ishue
Fire Brigades are being accused of pandering (a criminal offence on the other side of the pond in the US, but not here) to a tiny fraction of 1% of the population by deliberately not using 'he' & 'she'.
   The panderers are claiming that everyone has value, which is absurd. Unless you call the likes of the baby-killer L. Letby giving pundits wibble opportunities valuable.
The Home Sec. is trying to do something about similar attitudes in the police farces of England & Wales.
“It's a freak untry, innit? With the emphasis heavily on the 'freak'!” A.E. Rosols

Q: How do you achieve an asylum application backlog of 175,000?
A: Through Blob managers letting Home Office snivellers get away with processing just ONE claim per WEEK.
Q: What sort of weirdo comes up with a name like zolizumab for a cancer drug?
A: Mind boggling too much to think!

Maybe there should be a tax on DoomBuggers
The buildings built with aero-concrete aren't all falling down, despite the yells of the DoomBuggers of the ludicrous left meeja, just parts of the odd one or two are. They've reached their service life & replacements should have been made available.
   But, no doubt, there are none 'coz the snivel service has been dragging its collected feet.

An Xpensive ride for the grub cowboys
Burgher purveyors are to be hauled into court in the US for passing off. Their menus show burghers as tall as they are wide & stuffed full of filling. What's on offer across the service counter to punters looks like it has been stomped on by an elephant after someone nicked most of the trimmings.
   Fines starting @ $100 MILLION could be on the cards.

Sherie Does a Themed RoundUp
“Message to D. Egan, cosmetic mayor of Lewisham—Labour's UseLEZ scam will have absolutely zero effect on the global climate and only an idiot would believe it could. That is actually believe as opposed to spouting what you know is a lie 'coz its your party's policy.” Igor Rant
“It's easy to tell which party some of the new parliamentary candidates belong to. If they start telling you that UseLEZ will save The World from gorbal warmage, such an obvious lie can come only from one of the Labour lot.” Sign Nature

More tell ’em anything on offer
Labour is claiming that Bier Smarmer doesn't do U-turns, he follows the evidence. A lawyer who says whatever he's paid to say? Or whatever he thinks will do his bank balance the most good? Really?
These days, Bier Smarmer is increasingly seen as just t.b. liar's glove puppet.

There is a new variation of the Chinese plague doing the rounds. No one knows if it's especially deadly, but that's no reason not to start panicking right away.

The UK's money supply has stopped growing. Theft by UseLEZ scammers & Labour's ambition to foist them on every city are getting the blame.

Labour has a sinecure Shallow Education Secretary. No one surprised.

The collapsing schools care story is being used by teaching unions to justify pupils staying @ home & teachers shirking @ home?
“The problem for the trade unions is that when they start agitating about collapsing buildings, no one believes they're doing it on safety grounds. Everyone knows they're hoping to make some dosh out of it 'coz that's what they're all about.” C.U. Jimmy

Oh, sod it! He’s on the loose again!
Humbug Useless, the nominal First Meenister north of the border, has been kept quiet recently. But he escaped from his minders for long enuff to claim that an independent Scotland wouldn't have a costa living crisis. Then his minders got him back into the strait jacket.

There is much discussion on-going about how to treat the Pope for a chronic case of in gobum footus. Every time he pontificates at an occasion, he makes @ least one blunder of Biden proportions, doing even more damaged to the remains of the myth of papal infallibility.
GPs are getting 25% more pay for 25% less customer service. Or an even greater reduction in service than that, in some cases.
Smarmer reshuffles stooges, Sugar Ray becomes his official tea-stirrer.
++ BierBC investigated ++ Whatever is happening, good or bad, it discharges verbal sewage 825 times PER DAY ++
Railways union strikers have lost £6,500 to £7,000 in wages not paid and not getting the 9% pay rise that was on offer, which Muck Lunch refuses to let his mugs vote on.
The £2K UseLEZ scrappage payment is a sick joke, which could be why two-thirds of the applications for it are rejected—to avoid making fun of the customers. But mainly to prevent cash from flowing out rather than in.
“That's UP TO two grand. Which includes an offer of just 35p.” Boo Tique
Lunch is getting stiff competition for the 2023 Biggest Bad Guy Award from the BMA guys—the ones who leave you wondering why they're pretending to be doctors during gaps in their busy social life.

Solidarity in short supply!

Vote Smarmer, go as broke as Birmingham City Council
Who's going to bail you out then?

WEEK 2    Rejoice! It’s Mexican Week!

 
Just Juan Sombrero? Nope, lots of the buggers!

Everyone is joining in Mexican Week
Even a Smarmero can wear a sombrero
Wouldn't you look great in one too?
Drop in and try one; you'll really enjoy the trip
Romiley Ethnic Outfits,
71C Riverside Drive Offset

Another Sherie RoundUp
“Not saying a word about the collapsible aeroconcrete in schools until just before they were about to reopen for another term has to be deliberate sabotage by the snivel service. Or do they Xpect us to believe that all the mass of evidence managed to stay hidden until just a few days ago? It has to be yet another example of the ludicrous left up to no good.” Estig Hare
“How unfortunate that Kissgate turned out to be a confected put-up job. [tautology, Ed.] The one-nil draw and the rest of the 2023 Women's World Cup will be forgotten and all that will linger is that some tinkerbell and her mates confecting a PLS act.” A. Suage
“They should definitely de-dame E. Thompson, actoress & hippocriteess, for cavorting on a £200 MILLION supery acht after all her whinges about gorbal warmage. Even more of the old ‘do as I say' from one of Those People.” T. Pott
“The Princess Di tapes dragged out of their box to pad out the stuff about the death of M. Fayed do serve one useful purpose. They confirm that Hapless Hairy got his whinge genes from his mum.” B.I. Line

Mystic Machinations
It's purely coincidental that the Jr.Dox & NHS consultants are striking when the Tories will be having their party conference. That's what the Tarot cards ordered them to do. Honest!
Muck Lunch's Tarot cards are telling him that his members are so well overpaid that they can afford to keep on striking for a whole year and keep on helping him to stake his claim to the role of the new Scaregill.

The Trimmer Zimmer!
The Biden is the latest addition to our extensive range
to suit all frames, all incapacities and all needs
Romiley Essentials, 112B Riverside Drive Offset

Building for success
The enterprising Ukrainians are using self-assembly cardboard drones bought from Australia to do surveillance operations and zap targets near their border with Putinstan.
   The drones do not show up on conventional radar systems and can carry 3 lbs of explosives up to 75 miles into enemy territory. They are getting the credit for taking out aircraft on the ground and essential parts of air-defence systems.
Putinstan is hoping to make up for the deficiencies of its own arms industry by buying stuff from North Korea; rebadged Chinese stuff in the main.

++ Prince William personhandled by skinhead ex-footballer ++ Security team sacked on the spot for gross neglect of duty ++ Sinister influence of Bier Smarmer detected ++
++ Bier Smarmer does whinge about prison escape of suspected terrorist spy ++ Rikishi Snackstabber reveals that 10 times more prisoners escaped during 13 years of New Labour than during 13 years of Tories ++ Smarmer yells ‘foul' whilst wiping egg off mush ++

The ‘no fun’ Other Lot were back on Thursday
The Lions went to Kansas City and scored first with a TD in the 13th minute. KC drew level with a TD 5 minutes later, 7-all. KC got to the DL 4 in the last minute, TD, 7-14.
   The Lions drew level with a TD 4 minutes in to Q3, 14-all. A FG after 13 minutes put KC ahead, 14-17. Another FG 3 minutes in to Q4, 14-20. A big gain by Reynolds set up a go-ahead TD for the Lions, 21-20. KC failed to make 4th & 25 with 2 minutes left. Game over.

Building for success II
A fracking company is planning to trial a geothermal heat engine at a test site in North Yorkshire. Aqueous brine will be pumped to a depth of 3 km, returned to the surface and then used to heat nearby buildings.
   Third Energy reckons that there are around 700 oil & gas wells around the UK which can be adapted to the system, which has the obvious advantage of being 'always on'. Unlike wind power, which sez a big NO! when the wind don't blow or it's blowing too much.

Today's Questions:
What was the role of Labour, the acknowledged party of the criminal, in the prison escape of the suspected spy for Iran?
Why is the Snackstabber so keen on letting schoolgirls pretend to be boys and vice versa?

RSPB in deep trouble—donation deficit looms
The Ratbag Society for the Promulgation of Bollocks has been forced to apologize for issuing ludicrous left propaganda against Tory ministers and calling them liars.
   A minion is getting the blame but the society is known to have been infiltrated by nasty bastards with a blatantly political & uncharitable agenda.

FNF: The TigerCats in the nation’s capital
An early pick by the Cats got them a FG in the 6th minute. The RedBlacks got close, just a FG and 3-all. They were stuffed by the Cats on 3rd & goal from the TC 1 to end the quarter. The RBs were looking threatening in the 12th minute of Q2 but fumbled the ball away. A FG in the last minute put the Cats 6-3 ahead.
   In Q3, the RBs got to the Hamilton 3, FG, 6-10. The Cats came back with a pylon basher TD for McAllister, 13-10. Third & goal @ the 1 in the 12th minute, a Charge! by the RBs worked this time! 13-17. The Cats went ahead with a TD 4 minutes in to Q4, 20-17. Lots more Williams to the TC 2, TD for Crum, 20-24. Powell to White again, TD, 27-24. A sack/ fumble on Crum went to the Cats with just over a minute left to seal their 10th win in a row over the RBs.

The DoomBuggers are aghast
The Office for Notional Sadistics is now claiming that the Britisch economy recovered to better than its state pre-Chinese plague at the end of 2021, making liars out of the DBs.
[Something they must be used to. Ed.]
“No great triumph for the ONS, though. It was still churning out hopelessly wrong guesses last month, and who's to say this one is any better?” Freel Unch

Public Service? In what universe?
Lots of sound and fury about the aeroconcrete used in schools in England but not Wales. Why? 'Coz the Labour government there can't be arsed to do checks on its schools and other buildings containing it.
   147 schools affected in England, 19 had to delay opening. Labour was yelling about 500. Reality blink or eyes tight shut?
“Smarmer is claiming that cowboys are running the country. If he could be bothered to drag his head out of his own arse, he might spot that out PM is an Injun.” Lynx Westrom

Deadly Greenwash
Electric bikes & scooters, we are told, keep setting new records for bursting into flames. London's fire brigades report a growth rate of 6% over the first 8 months of this year. Which is nothing compared to the 78% growth rate reported for the whole of 2022.
Xperts reckon that a fully charged e-bike's battery has the same Xplosive potential as SIX hand grenades!!

Plea for help:
"ElonGate—I can't remember what that scandal was all about."

NSANDI is virtue flagging about its 6.2% one-year bond but with tax thresholds frozen; thank you Snackstabber & Hunt the Stunt; someone on the old state pension with modest savings is likely to see the virtue disappear into the taxman's pocket rather than the pensioner's.

Q: How many BashirGate documents are in the secret stash when the BierBC swears blind there are none?
A: 3,000.

Edstone Milipede goes totally nutz, claiming that not building on-shore wind farms has cost everyone in the country £150. Not that he had any credibility before this daft rant.

Nil Nisi Malum!
Now that he's safely dead & unable to sue, there's a rush of stories about the crimes of M. Fayed, who liked to be called Al because he thought it was posh. The tales are led by the revelation that the mad car dash which resulted in the death of Fayed's son and Princess Di was all his fault.
   In fact, he is now being positioned as so evil that he makes the likes of J. Savile look like a rank amateur.

Super Saturday 1, the Albertines in T’ronno
The Argonauts went ahead with a TD after 6 minutes then batted a fumbled kick off catch out of bounds. Another TD after 8 minutes, 0-14. Worthy was heading for a kick off return TD but he was tripped by kicker Bede. The Alouettes went on to a TD anyway, 7-14. Just a FG for the Argos, 7-17, plus a 51-yarder in the last minute of Q1, 7-20. Last touch of fumbled ball gave the Argos another shot in the 11th minute of Q2, another FG, 7-23. Another fumble grabbed by the Argos. A 48-yarder by Bede missed.
   Cote kicked a FG for the Als in the 6th minute of Q3, 10-23. Kelly went in for a TD himself in the 9th minute, 10-29, no +2. Another end zone trip for the Argos in the 3rd minute of Q4, 10-36. Plus a FG in the 13th minute, 10-39. The Als got close but a pick in the TA end zone prevented another score.

What it’s all about really
Bier Smarmer's list of freebies in the 3 years since he took charge of the Labour party from O.J. Corbynstein now Xceeds the sum total for all leaders from the t.b. liar march to power & mega-corruption in 1997 to the end of Corbynstein's reign as party honcho.
   Not too posh to blag owt going, is Sir Smarmer.

Not wanted on voyage
A woman who took a photo of a pro-female sticker on a transpicator poster was grilled by her local fuzz about an imaginary (non-)hate crime. That's the sort of copper the Home Sec. should be booting out for gross misconduct & abuse of office.

Super Saturday 2, the Rough Riders in Winnipeg
Almost a TD for the Riders, just a FG instead. The Blue Bombers were stopped @ the SK 1, but a Charge! got them a TD, 3-7. Collards to Olivera for a TD, 3-14. Lawler to the SK 1 in Q2? Was he in? Yes, on review, 3-21.
   Another FG for the Riders in the 7th minute, 6-21. Huge pass to Schoen, then a TD pass, 6-28, Banjo Bowl Blow Out predicted. A bomb to Schoen in the end zone in the 13th minute, 6-35. Lawler to the SK 10, another TD for Schoen, 6-42.
   A FG for the BB 11 minutes in to Q3, 6-45. Another a couple of minutes in to Q4, 6-48. Another with 5 minutes left, 6-51 final for 1-all in home wins in the last fortnight.

Sadgeek K'han't's UseLEZ scam is trying to steal cash from drivers of old cars which are compliant with emissions regulations. How very Labour.

Q: Is anyone surprised that Labour-controlled councils are twice as likely to let their minions shirk on a beach?
A: We'd be surprised only if they didn't, being the party of the skiver.

Super Saturday 3, the Stampeders in Edmonton
Lewis took the kick off out of his end zone, and made the Stamps start at their 1. A 45 yard run by Brown put the Ants 0-7 up. The Stamps kicked a FG, 3-7. The Ants fumbled the ball away at the end of Q1. No damage. The Stamps went ahead with a TD in the 9th minute, 10-7. Ford was bashed at the end of the half. Another TD for the Stamps with 5 seconds left, 17-7.
   A pick a minute in to Q3 gave the ball to the Stamps, FG, 20-7. Ford picked again. The Ants started Q4 @ the CS 1, Cornelius got it done, 23-13. A big pass to Lewis, 32 yard TD pass to Mitchell in the end zone, 23-19. Ford bashed again, FG, 23-22 with 5 minutes to go. Faithfull again with a 42 yarder with 7 seconds left, 23-25 final!!

It’s all in how you sell it
Supermarkets & food giants are adding crapflation to their shrinkflation scams. As well as 25% less in the package for the same money, quality is plunging and stuff tastes noticeably worse—when it has a taste.
   The positive effect of crapflation is to reduce consumption to a point which deflates sales and helps out with the o'besity crisis.

Humbug Useless, the SNP First Meenister with a £1 BILLION Broon Hole in his budget, is planning to give his minions a big pay rise by putting them on a 4-day week for the same money. The strait jacket, pur-leeeze!

Romania is officially 'not bovvered' by a drone attack on Ukraine which ended up on its side of the border.
Despite buckets; nay, bathtubs; of negative waves from the Usual Suspects, the Ukrainian offensive against Putinstan's invaders is going places; to the chagrin of the ludicrous left.
Any politician who claims that the public are rushing to buy electric cars is lying to you. They are so unaffordable that 76% of sales go to companies, which can claim tax allowances for being virtuous.

The Packers in Chicago in NFL Week 1
The Pack struck first with a TD pass, Love to Dobbs after 9 minutes. The Bears kicked a long FG after 13 minutes, 7-3. They were held to a shorter kick 6 minutes in to Q2, 7-6. GB were sacked to a 52-yarder to close the half at 10-6.
   A big burst of Jones got the Pack close, Jones for a TD, 17-6. Jones again in the 9th minute, 24-6. The Bears fumbled the ball away, no damage. A TD for the Bears in the last minute of Q3, Mooney, +2, 24-14.
   GB got away with a shambles, another TD for Dobbs, 31-14. A pick by Walker went all the way to the end zone! 38-13. The Bears were done out of a pylon dive TD but did a Charge! from the GB 1 and sealed the deal. No +2, 38-20 with 3 minutes left. A must-win match won by the Pack.

Imagine U R Cruising
The Ultimate V.R. Break—A day, a weekend, a week—All the exotica of abroad without
the tedium of travelling!
Romiley V.R. Workshop,
31-33 Riverside Drive Offset

Another Question:
Why hasn't the pretend author C. Higson been gaoled for passing off a load of woke BS as being about the I. Fleming character J. Bond?
“I seem to remember this crap was being called 'literary reimagining' a while back. As if giving it a name validates it.” R. Ambling
[Mentioned in BFN for June of this year. Ed.]

All of Wales & some parts of England
The Smarmeristas are blaming the grotesque chaos created by the Labour-run council in Birmingham on the failure of the Tories to throw enuff of our cash into Brum's Labour-created Gordon (Labour) Brown Hole.

Why would anyone be surprised that the more savings you have, the more you will benefit from higher interest rates? What's the agenda of whoever's trying to pretend that having savings is a Bad Thing?

We got the boldly goers of Star Trek in the 1960s. Half a dozen decades on, we have a gently sayer in the form of our milksop, oily apology for a Chancellor, Hunt the Stunt.
“Shame we don't have someone with the balls to stick it to the slimy Smarmers. All Hunt can do is be sickening & try to outsmarm them.” Boot McGoot

Railway strikers will be relieved to know that Muck Lunch still gets paid when they're out on strike and he doesn't have a huge hole in his bank balance, like his union's stooges.
A genius in Carlyle has pointed out that the current Shirk @ Home fad means that empty council offices can be used for emergency school space as they have all the necessary facilities for multiple occupation.

Their language Xplained:
Lazy Faire—those skiving Frenchies are doing nothing again.

The BierBC's first ever disinformation correspondent turns out to be a wisegal who put stuff that wasn't true and easily proven not to be true in her application for the job.
[Presumably, that's how she got the job of spreading disinformation for the Beeb, by proving she's good at it. Ed]
“Why does the BierBC need a dedicated disinformation bod anyway when it has a whole crew of overpaid parasites who can pretend obvious BS is factual without effort?” Se7en Eleven

Sherie In Focus
“Bier Smarmer needs to make up his mind. [fat chance Ed.] Does he want kids 'cowering'—his bollocks description—under steel reinforcements in schools or kids having to wear tin helmets 'coz bits of the ceiling are dropping on them?” Dosh Anblieder
“He's probably got shares in a tin helmet company and that's why he's so against reinforcement.” Klintee Swud
“Or he's against reinforcement 'coz the Tories are in favour of it? Brain switched off, as usual, just go for the opposite and pretend it's a good idea. In other words, Labour BS politics as usual.” Moran Ever
“What is Labour's next move after all the fake outrage about collapsible concrete? Get processions of heavily laden lorries to drive round & round schools in the hope of making one collapse? Preferably whilst fully occupied to maximize the casualties?” Alf Ayed
“No need for any hosepipe bans after the inevitable flood of crocodile tears!” M. Bolism
[Ed.]

Egon Mush time
Labour's Notional Xecutive Committee has grotted all over Bier Smarmer's attempts to claim that Birmingham City Council fell into a Brown Hole 'coz of the Tories.
   The city has been in the leaden clutches of the Labour party for the last 11 years and a bunch of crap administrators, as proven by the fact that other authorities with similar problems didn't all dig a Brown Hole with a lunatic construction project or something similar.

Today’s Question
Is there a more dismal sight than a lawyer pretending to have his knickers in a twist over something he neither knows nor cares about?

This month's Pointless Pillock Award goes to the lawyer(s) who made it possible to give non-driver pop-person N. Gallagher a dozen penalty points on his non-existent driving licence and a 6-month ban from driving, something which he doesn't do anyway as he assigns this task to chauffeurs.

Planning ahead
Putin the Poisoner is hoping to make enuff dosh from betting on a Trump win in the upcoming presidential election in the Untied States to finance his attempted Anschluß with Ukraine, which means that Creaky Joe & his supporters need to hire all the food tasters & bodyguards they can afford!

Beer Smarmer didn't shuffling his pack of jokers. They're all blank cards. Entities of the 'non' sort, in fact.

Sherie does a Themed RoundUp
“Terrible shame that the Higson bloke doesn't have anything original to offer. Maybe he should go and sit in a dark cave until he gets an idea worth sharing.” A.D. Junct
“What's inclusive about Xcluding the character created by Ian Fleming from the exercise in passing off? Or is recycling the name James Bond enuff?” Hamac Ting
“The guy what wrote that BS is a right Charlie.” Use Hook
“This guy Higson was sold a real turkey when he bought his novelist A.I. Probably a cheap Chinese knock-off.” S. Windler

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Yatter, Yatter
We are told by MPs that our fleet of combat aircraft is insufficient to defend the UK in the event of an all-out war.
   Are we likely to be in one?
Silence from the MPs doing the whinge.

The Lord Advocate of Scotland is scoring virtue points by challenging ridiculously lenient prison sentences awarded to a repeat offender violent rapist. Fine. Any chance of the useless judges being sacked? Thought not.

Q: How does a professor admit he's losing the argument against people who challenge his declarations?
A: In the case of the one behind Scotland's Minimum Unit Pricing for alcohol, by trying to cancel anyone who doesn't agree with his guesses.
“Does this prof. have psychic powers which give him a licence to ignore inconvenient facts? We should be told.” R.T. Choke
“Powers similar to those which entitle snivel servants to cook the books in any chosen direction?” P. Latitude
“Surprise! MUP was imposed by Wee Burney the Sturgeon. A certain kiss of death!” S. Nackstabber

Asleep at the wheel
$150,000,000,000. That's the guesstimate for the global income for modern slavers.
   Maybe the wibblers who are going on about the slavery that took place 300 years ago should be paying compenbloodysation to the actual victims of actual contemporary slavery out of the pockets of modern slavers instead of trying to dig a fist into the pocket of the Britisch taxpayer to take money from people who had nothing to do with slavery to give to people who were never slaves.

Great deal if you can get it!
Sometime SNP MP N. McGarry strolled off with £25,000.
   How much does she have to repay?
60 quid.

“The chief executive of BP, one Bernard Looney, has been obliged to quit for not being transparent about relationships with colleagues. There's a monumental mind-boggler. But how was he ever taken seriously in the first place with a name like that?” Anton Deq

The Way Forward
Holland's conventional bike users are being put into fear & trembling by idiots charging along cycle lanes @ reckless speeds on big, heavy electric bikes.
“Much the same fear & trembling inflicted by the selfish loonies who charge about on pavements with their bikes.” Gruesome Dodds

Disch of the Day
Apply a layer of cheese to halved Melton Mowbray mini-pies placed meat side up, surround with sliced or halved cherry tomatoes, depending on the size, Gas 4 for 20 minutes. Eat hot with appropriate booze to wash it down.

Sleaze Bonanza
Notorious Labour MP Corporal Underpants is giving up the Commons sleaze commission role as Serbia Smarmer has given him a pretend job and a pay rise.
   Notorious Labour MP Harridan Harperson is after the vacancy, waving her record as a kangaroo courtier and her utter disregard for standards.

Q: What's the point of punishing the Tories by kicking them out over the cost of wind power, its unreliability and the huge subsidies?
A: If it lets Labour in, it will be pointless to the point of monumental masochism as Bier Smarmer will let Labour loonies like Edstone Milipede shovel all our cash into HUGE Brown Holes.
“Something that the Snackstabber and his lunatic mates are already doing with bollocks like Net Zero and their deranged Energy Bill, which lets jobsworths shove people who don't buy the value of the government's crap into gaol and steal thousands of pounds from them.” Onthe Lammy

So much for the pundits. They were asking if the Gaol Break Kid had left the country a couple of days before he was bagged and sent back to gaol.
"No, mate, he's still here. Anything to space out the adverts, eh?"
“Why should we be surprised that the Blobists running the Prison Service are as crap as the rest of the gang?” S.M. Armour

It’s a ‘Don’t mention the war’ attitude
or Alarmism Rulz, Nokay
The publishers of the once essential science journal Nature have their knickers in a twist over revelations about the lengths some contributors feel they have to go to in order to get published.
   This involves doing an A.I. analysis of the journal's biases and avoiding the clashes with them that lead to inevitable rejection. Such as mentioning that global wildfires have causes other than gorbal warmage, e.g. arson about, accidents, piss poor forest management and entirely routine lightning strikes.

Privacy Schmivacy
Car manufacturers are filling their vehicles with spy gadgets. One of the worst offenders has been outed—Nissan puts spy gadgets in the people space to find out if the occupants are indulging in sexual activity.
   But other manufacturers are just as bad in their own ways. And they can't be arsed to encrypt the data their gadgets send back to base. Nor can they be arsed to let customers opt out of being spied on and delete all the data collected.

The recently ousted, scandal dogged Finnish prime monsteress, S. Marin, has joined the t.b. liar bandwagon as a party counsellor.
   Looks like the Mandelsleaze is getting past it.

If you join a yoga class @ a certain café in Lincolnshire, don't be surprised if the police burst in yelling that someone phoned them to claim the place is full of ritual murder victims lying on the floor in neat rows.

Just plain evil?
The truth about what went wrong with the Truss premiership is starting to emerge.
   Basically, it was down to snackstabbing by Remoaner Blobists in the upper levels of the snivel service, which displays much the same degree of loyalty & integrity to the employer as Bier Smarmer's best buddy Sugar Ray.
   Such is the degree of entitlement among those with a fist in the taxpayer's pocket.

++ Bier Smarmer outed as closet Dalek ++ Prefers Davros to Westminster, where he doesn't get his desired degree of worship ++
“It's all very well for Bier to demand clarity but given his total ignorance of the concept, as demonstrated by the volume of wibble we get from him, would he kno what it is if confronted with it? The answer to that has to be a resounding negative.” Long Abed

Painful Partiality
The Squeaker of the House of Common Criminals is trying to prevent Tory MPs from naming the bloke who was busted in March for spying for the Chinese. But MPs from other parties are not included in the ban.
is his agenda?
We should be told.
[The bloke who arrested 'on suspicion' of spying has been outed already in national newspapers & elsewhere. Ed]

Public Service Announcement He's been called the Blogger of the Decade His intellect is matched only by the size of his luck and the size of his bank balance. And yet he manages to keep his Feet On The Ground with the greatest of ease. Do yourself a favour and find out what Xavier has had to say about what's going on Right Now!

WEEK 3    Putin the ‘bad’ into badgering

 
At the end of 2017, the techsperts were assuring us that clean and abundant fusion power that costs just pence per gigawatt, the BIG THING of the 1970s, is only 20 years away.
[Or 30 or 40 years, BFN cynics were saying. Ed.]

When you hear someone demanding more clarity; usually one of the Labour lot; it's generally a product of 4 hours on the claret.
[a.k.a. Woy Jenkins Juice. Ed.]

Why are the Chinese trying to turn Tory candidates for seats in Parliament into spies for them when the Labour lot are supposed to be coasting to a win in the next general election?
   They obviously know something we don't. Can't wait to find out what it is!

Universal evil
No wonder he's called the Snackstabber. Our PM is eager to swindle pensioners out of their triple lock to raise cash to blow on . . . what?
   Greenwash & illegals?
   And Labour is no better. The Smarmstabber would like to do the same—without collecting the blame for it, of course.
“Dumping it on Angular Robot is his S.O.P.” Wim Buldon

“Banks are now getting so desperate to encourage spending that they're offering a second credit card to selected customers. Presumably in the hope that they'll spend the existing one to the limit and go on to blow even more cash. Even if they can't manage the debt.” H.T.S.

Festung Sainsbury’s—and all the rest
Supermarkets in London are having to turn themselves into security zones to cope with the predations of thieves, who are ignored by the police & the courts.
   Tasers for the violent & blatant ones? Security gates with A.I. and card readers for approved customers only? Sounds like the future.
   Even worse, if someone of African descent attacks an Asian shopkeeper when caught stealing in say, Peckham, the BLAME Bunchers will shower the shop with rachelist abuse.
Myth Busted
A former boss of Sainsbury’s reckons giving body cameras to staff is a waste of time as persistent thieves are not bovvered about being filmed, knowing the police & the Can't Prosecute Smarmer Successors won't do anything about them.

Sherie Zooms Back
“When the Caribbean nations start whingeing about slavery reparations, King Chuck should maintain a dignified silence but send one of his minions to remind them how much infrastructure & knowhow they got from us. And if they continue to whine, tell them to fuck off in as uncompromising tone as the minion can manage.” Assin Gear
“Treating China as a 'malign actor' is just politician wibble. China is a hostile state and an active enemy. And anyone who pretends different should be dropped into that deep, dark hole, which seems to be so currently popular.” M. Probable

A ban on mains gas to meet cosmetic and useless Net Zero targets will waste £65,000,000,000 at today's prices and achieve bugger all. That's £2,300 per household—with net zero cost to illegal immigrants, of course.
   Shut-down will be a lot more complicated than just stopping putting gas into the mains. They will have to be removed and the voids sealed up to prevent nearby buildings and roads from being damaged, which would happen inevitably if they were left in place to rot. No doubt any guesses at the cost of doing this are wildly optimistic.

Not minding how he goes
Was Sergeant Schultz, the German Kanceller, wearing an eye patch in the first week of this month because he fancies a post-politics career as a pirate?
   The official Xplanation is that the 63-year-old tripped and fell over whilst jogging outdoors, which can be perilous for someone of his great age.

Esso petrol 152.9p/litre.
Esso diesel 159.9p/litre.
A rip in the direction of off for the weekend.

Muddle, muddle, muddle
Discouraging illegal migrants needs a removal plan like shipping them to Rwanda or elsewhere as a deterrent, the Notional Crime Agency reckons, as countries outside the UK have no interest in stopping the people smugglers.
Talk tough, the wheels come off
This grotted all over the Bier Smarmer plan to go gang-busters on the people smugglers, coupled with the news that when an occasional gang is busted in EFU territory, another promptly springs up to take its place.
Always a U-turn and a new scam
The Smarmer plan is now to make the illegals legal by letting the EFU ship its unwanted bodies to the UK, where they will be welcome on condition that they sign a universal voting proxy in Labour's favour.

FNF 1: The Argonauts in Montreal
The Alouettes opened the scoring with a FG in the 10th minute. The Argos blasted back with a TD, 7-3. They finished the half with a short field, FG in the last minute, 10-3. They added another 5 minutes in to Q3, 13-3. Fajardo got close after 8 minutes and a helmet hit on him put the Als @ the TA 1, Charge! 13-10. A FG for the Als in the 12th minute levelled the scores.
   The Als made a 3rd & 2 early in Q4 on the way to a TD, 13-20. 54-yard FG try for the Als in the 10th minute missed. A TD put the Argos level and a pick by them gave Bede a 38-yard FG try, bad snap, good kick, 23-20. A long FG try for the Als by Cote @ 0:00 was blocked!

Definitions For Today
The Labour Party — a club for people who don't work, people who would rather have an excuse to be on strike rather than do any work and people who wish to live on the assets of others, who are more enterprising or luckier than them. The Something For Nothing party. Plus ça change . . .
[From December 2017. Ed.]

Q: What's the point of a G20 summit?
A: Net Zero. That many countries with conflicting agendas & interests; often violently opposed; can never hope to achieve anything useful and will deliver only meaningless bulletins @ great cost to the taxpayer.

Q: What do O.J. Corbynstein & Bier Smarmer have in common?
A: Neither is ‘fantastic with detail' and both can be wheeled out only under carefully stage-managed conditions to perform for the TV cameras.

FNF 2: the Edmonton Antlers in Saskatchewan
A short FG for the RoughRiders opened the scoring. They got close but fumbled the ball to the Ants. But a similar bounce went to the Riders, who scored a TD in the 13th minute. 0-10. A TD in the 2nd minute of Q2 for the Antlers, 7-10. The RR kicked a FG after 10 minutes, 7-13. One for the Ants with 3 minutes to go, 10-13.
   A 40-yard FG three minutes into Q3 tied the match. The Riders blasted back with a TD, 13-20. Ford made ground then Brown made a 35-yard dash for a TD! 20-all. The Riders barged to a TD at the end of the quarter, 20-27. Lewis took an end zone TD pass in Q4, 27-all. Ford went in from 10 yards out, 34-27. Add on a safety for the EA defence, 36-27 and that was the final score.

Reboot, Reset
There needs to be a new Hippocratic Oath, which both medics & the judiciary need to endorse as binding. And face severe sanctions if they break it. First, do no evil.
   That's what seems to be the message from the fate of the teenager ‘S.T.', who's being condemned to death by her doctors & a judge, who ruled her mentally incompetent for not going along with the doctors' decision to let her croak.
"S.T.", the teenager concerned, died on 12/09/2023, still nameless and legally cancelled.

How curious that the leader of the Trivials, E. Davy, is all in favour of Sadgeek K'han't's UseLEZ scam Xcept as applied to the area of outer London which was daft enuff to make him its MP.

No surprise that the police in Birmingham (Labour, failed) have created a toxic driving culture by ignoring idiots who weave recklessly through traffic to create Xtreme videos of themselves being a twat.

A Sherie Doubleton
“Remind me, was the egomania Samantha Brick the inspiration for the Jethro Tull album Thick as a Brick?” O. Veractive
“Is there a bigger political phoney than Bier Smarmer? The republican whose principles were slack enuff to let him blag a knighthood from the monarchy he claims he wants to abolish. The knight of the realm who doesn't want people to call him Sir Smarmer so he can pretend to be working class like the traditional Labour voter. Well, the ones who aren't on strike.” Terrell Withit

Back @ the end of 2017, there was speculation that the Untied States might get another President Johnson. Dwayne ‘The Rock' Johnson, TV wrestler turned film star, was expressing political ambitions. He'd definitely be preferable to another dose of Creaky Joe!

Ethnics Beware!
Forestry England is determined to meet its arbitrary diversity targets for planting more trees and broadening the profile of visitors to forests. Thus anyone who looks and/or dresses a bit foreign could well face being rounded up—@ gunpoint, if necessary—and driven to a forest to spend at least 2 hours among the trees to build up some quangocrat's bonus.

Q: How do you know it's ‘busy, busy' time @ your pub or drinkery?
A: Big chains are shoving their prices up when demand goes up. ‘Dynamic Off-Ripping', it's called. Putrid's invasion of Ukraine is getting the blame.

SNF 1: The Blue Bombers in Hamilton
The Cats reached scoring range, sacked to a FG. A big play got them back to scoring range again after 7 minutes, to the WPG 6, TD, 0-10 after 10 minutes. Demski got the BB to scoring range, and took a TD catch, the convert missed and McAllister took the ball back the other way for +2, 6-12. The Cats kicked a FG 2 minutes in to Q2, 6-15. Lawler with an end zone TD catch, 13-15.
   The TigerCats went in for a TD from the WPG 2 in the 12th minute, 13-22. Demski with a big catch & run, FG from it, 16-22. DPI got the Cats into position for a Charge! into the end zone 4 minutes in to Q3, 16-29. The defences dominated until the BB got close at the end of Q4, TD from the 1 for Collards, 23-29 and that was the final score.

22% of Conservative supporters are happy with their party's handling of the migration ishue. Only 8% of Labourites say the same about their party. Go figure.
According to Healthwatch England, two-thirds of adults still think they can get timely access to NHS GP, ambulance & hospital services.
NHS strikes endorsed by the Labour party have led to the cancellation of 35,500 cancer treatment appointments.
++ Snackstabber not listening ++ No shift of ban on new petrol/diesel vehicles from 2030 ++ It's 2035 in Germany ++ Climate religion infecting gullible politicians to blame ++ Also motor industry reluctant to be messed about more after switching to electric vehicles ++
The Home Sec., S. Braverperson, has hit the president of the Police Superintendents' Association where it hurts with her attack on the police ‘culture' of wokery & virtue flagging at the Xpense of crime prevention.

The snivel service now has four core values: dishonesty, net zero integrity, Xtreme partiality & obtuse objectivity. Brexit is to blame.

SNF 2: The RedBlacks in Vancouver
The RBs kicked a FG in the 3rd minute. The BC Lions were sacked to a standstill but got the ball back from a tipped pass attempt. An FG try hit the upright but they got a single from a punt after 12 minutes, 3-1.
   Ward with another FG to end the quarter at 6-1. DPI got BC to the RB 1 early in Q2, TD, 6-8. The RBs were sacked to a FG in the 9th minute, 9-8. BC bomb to the end zone for a TD, 9-15. The RBs got close, in for a TD, 16-15 at half time.
   BC back ahead with a FG 3 minutes in to Q3, 16-18. Crum ran a TD in to retake the lead, 23-18. He was back for another in the 13th minute, 30-18. A pick-6 by the RB defence a minute later! 37-18. The Lions kicked a FG early in Q4, 37-21. Adams fired a TD pass to the RB end zone at 2:22 left, no +2, 37-27.
   Ward missed a FG try and Williams returned the ball the length of the field for a TD!! 37-34. Good Grief!! Adams to Lucky Whitehead in the RB goal, TD! 37-41 final. Game of the week, no lead is safe in the CFL.

TUC Conference report
After Labour wins the next election, Bier Smarmer will be locked in a tin trunk and The Boss, a.k.a. Deputy Angular Robot, will spend her first 100 daze (which will involve consuming 200 bottles of spirits + blue stuff + orange juice) working hand in pocket to give every trumped up Scaregill clone union boss complete immunity from all laws.
Bier Smarmer is getting a booting from the GMB union boss for damaging his members' job prospects by allowing UseLEZ and attacking the North Sea oil & gas industry.
“A Smarmer deal to return ‘some' migrants to the EFU amounts to what? Two? Three? In return for letting thousands of North Africans come here? Some turkey of a deal.” Anton Veg

All they got was one out of three
The sub-text early in 2018 was that Labour needed to ditch the old fogey Corbynstein before the next general election in favour of someone younger, dynamic and in his right mind(ish). Shame there was no one like that around.

Which brother looks the bigger bozo and why does ‘sustainable’ have to be so crap?

Do it again and try to be convincing this time
An MP was claiming, months after the event, to be 'shocked and appalled' by the arrest of the bloke accused of spying for China. But he admitted knowing that the Chinese communists are seeking domination of the West rather than to live in harmony with it.
“Is this an unsubtle way of expressing surprise that the Security Service caught the guy, given their reputation for being just another collection of woke and useless snivel servants?” BlobKiller
“Maybe letting their alleged spy be busted is a cunning pawn sacrifice gambit by the Yellow Peril with the aim of keeping suspicion away from their serious spies.” Inco Ming
“Are we not supposed to know that everyone spies on everyone else, friends and enemies alike, all the time? Or are we supposed to believe that a naturally superior bunch like the Britisch are too well brought up to sink to the depths plumbed by iggorant & uncouth foreigners?” X. Pert

The Packers in Atlanta in NFL Week 2
The Falcons' opener ended in a pick but the Pack were sacked to a punt. They scored first with a FG in the 12th minute. The Pack drove in to Q2, TD for Reed, 7-3. A FG with 3 minutes left put the Pack 10-3 up. The Falcons came with a TD in the last minute but the PAT was a bad miss, 10-9.
   Wicks went in for a TD after 5 minutes of Q3, 17-9. A 33-yard FG went through for the Falcons, 17-12. Reed took another TD pass in the last minute of the quarter, 24-12. A bomb pass to Ridder got the Falcons close early in Q4 and he took a TD pass, 24-19. A FG after 7 minutes, 24-22. The Falcons ate clock, went ahead with a FG, 24-25, and stayed there.

Something to remember about how the world 'works' now:
When merit doesn't give the result you want, fall back on quotas.
[Trialed by the BAFTAs and SOP for the O'scars. Ed.]

Why are rivers & coastal water full of sewage? Because the Enviromint Dept., Ofwat & the Enviromint Agency all fuktup over interpreting what the law sez and the wise guys @ the water companies took advantage.
   What will the Office for Enviromintal Protection do about this? The smart money is going on bugger all.
[Are we allowed to say 'fuktup'? If the snivel service and/or quangocrats are involved, it's always justified. Ed. ]

Not Fit For Purpose
University students are learning the hard way that the Office for Students, the regulator that's supposed to protect them, doesn't.
   The OfS is too wrapped up in media manipulation, political fads & wokery to be of any use, the boss of the Industry & Regulators Committee in the House of Lords has confirmed.

Humbug Useless might have been grinning when Scots fans booed the National Anthem @ Hampden Park before a match with England. But he wasn't laffing after his team was crunched 3-1 by the visitors.

Esso petrol 156.9p/litre.
Esso diesel 164.9p/litre.

The Death Toll is Rising They’re On Strike Again "First, do all the harm you can manage."

When there’s an Ed, Up we are Fed
E. Davey, honcho of the Trivials, is now the MP who gives the Groan-o-Meter the biggest surge when he has something to tell the Commons. The role has been ceded to him by I. Black, the former honcho of the SNP gang, who could cancel every ray of sunshine for miles around just by opening his gob.

A 0.5% drop in national output in July is being blamed on trade unions & strikes aimed @ damaging the economy.
Parts of the NHS will collapse again this winter, warns the honcho of emergency medicine. But hey, we know and we're Xpecting it 'coz it has become an annual event.

Sir Mick Jagger discovers the perils of doing public posturing when you’re old & grey & caught short.

Medical receptionists, especially those @ A&E departments, are under threat from A.I. chatbots, which will take over the role of deciding who gets an appointment and who will be out of luck using what will be claimed to be logic.
[But, in practice, something dodgy knocked out by the programmers. Ed.]

Good News: The Health Department has dug down the back of its settee & found an Xtra £200 MILLION to shower on the NHS this winter.
Bad News: All the strikes have wasted £1,000 MILLION.

Isn't it time to ban the crApp TiqToq, which carries without censorship, videos showing kids how to steal stuff from shops—a practice the crApp calls 'borrowing'. Without all the inconvenience of taking the stuff back in due course, of course.
“Another Chinese assault on the national moral fibre. Or what's left of it after our own ludicrous left have made a mockery of it.” Wim Bend

Sherie lets them Tell It Like It Is
“If the Greek government wants the Elgin Marbles back, how about offering us at least £500 million to pay for the conservation and protection from Athenian pollution, which they have received whilst in the Britisch Museum? And similar deals for all other artefact claimants.” Byron Ikk
“Plus providing a set of exact replicas so that the BM doesn't have an empty space in its displays.” Fahr Kinapp
“Why piss about with thieves? Anyone who steals from a shop or supermarket should be challenged as soon as they leave the premises. If they refuse to pay for the stolen goods, or surrender them, they should be shot in the head 4 times to ensure that they never do it again.” Arlo View
“All Beer Smarmer is offering is a return to the vampire squid embrace of the EFU. Wunderbar!” Mor4k Mannan

Someone has to do it
Gulp! Angular Robot is Bier Smarmer's Two Jags Prescott figure of fun. It seems one is necessary to dilute the poshness at the top of the Labour party and help the working class pretend the party is about them.

MNF: the Browns in Pittsburgh
The first Cleveland play was picked off and returned for a TD! Just a FG from the next drive, 3-7. But they stopped the Steelers with a pick. Another FG try missed. The Browns fumbled the ball away, the Steelers gave it back to them, TD a minute in to Q2, +2, 11-7.
   The Steelers kicked a FG after 6 minutes, 11-10. A bomb pass set up a TD after 9 minutes, no +2, 11-16. FG for the Browns in the last minute, 14-16.
   A long FG for the Steelers in Q3, 14-19. Ford to the 1 with a dive, Harris in for a TD, +2, 22-19. The Steelers got the ball from a fumble in Q4 but nothing from it. Sack, fumble, TD for the Steelers after 8 minutes, 22-26. The Steelers defence held up for the win.

An Xmas Day NHS service means what? Singing carols at the customers instead of treating them?

A Xpert on Antarctica actually admitted on the national TV news that she and the rest of the gang don't know what's normal and natural for the ice on the continent. They just don't have anything like enough data to offer sensible opinions.
   Worse, they have no idea how the amount of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere and the amount of sea ice throughout the Antarctic year are related—if they are.
   Which makes all the gorbal warmage alarmism wibble based on nothing much.

Defining insanity as doing the same thing over and over and Xpecting a different result applies only to a static universe.
   In a dynamic universe, like the one we inhabit, the starting point is never Xactly the same as for previous cycles and the environment in which the process is carried out has always changed. [Bungs, promises not delivered, wars, etc. Ed.]
   Taking this to its logical Xtreme, insanity can be redefined, for a dynamic universe, as Xpecting Xactly the same outcome every time from a given process.
   And yah, boo, sucks to Mr. Einstein!

Message of the Month:
Senior male surgeons are mostly sex pests.

Anatomy of a flop
‘Rogue' Putinstani plane tries to shoot down RAF reconnaissance flight over non-territorial part of Black Sea.
First missle misses. Second just drops off Putinstani fighter and lands in sea.

“You slag, he slag. Is there anyone who ain't a slag? Apart from me, of course!” Vort X

Get a bloody grip, Snackstabber!
If H2S doesn't go to Manchester, there's no point in building it just as far as Birmingham to reduce the fastest rail journey in the UK by about 5 sodding minutes.

Trussty Lizzie, with a book to sell, is clobbering everyone who wrecked her premiership, especially the bremoaner snivel servants.

Recycled Item: Boris tells it like it is

Read it and weep
What happened in Scotland after the SNP displaced the endemic & apparently eternal Labour regime there is being seen as a blueprint for what will happen here if Labour wins the next general election.
   Scottish Labour was useless. The SNP is totally useless.
   The Tories are now fairly useless. Labour would be a total disaster, and Smarmer would wreck the economy totally as happened under Wilson, Callaghan, Bliar & Broon.
   Consolation Prize: Humbug Useless will be able to claim that he is no lower down on the scale of competence for the leaders of the 4 UK nations than anyone else.

That Xtra £200M for the NHS? To keep it going when winter bites? Just wasted by this week’s strikers

Something worth remembering:
The Advertising Standards Authority actually ruled that men can be used as sex objects in adverts because they have a sense of humour & proportion. But women can't, as they don't!

Brain engaged for once
The Snackstabber seems to have done a good job of booting up the bum, the spivs and outright fraudsters making money out of the climate change swindle with his push-back to 2035. Which is good.
“What a surprise. A politician actually trying to win votes by doing something worthwhile for the customers.” Tufa Raway

++ Bonk of England gets inflation forecast hopelessly wrong ++ It said 7% or higher for last month ++ Reality sez 6.7% in August ++ No one surprised ++

As shifty as a Sargasso of eels
NASA is refusing to rule out the possibility that unidentified aerial sightings in our atmosphere are products of alien technology.
   No proof is on offer that off-world civilizations have been here in person on via mechanical probes, of course.
   Neither is there a convincing Xplanation for a visit to our remote outpost in a far corner of the galaxy.
“Maybe the aliens find our radio & TV so weird & wonderful that they can't resist tuning in without paying a subscription.” Abin Barra
“Maybe they're hoping to see Russell Brand and his accusers stoned to death as an act of atonement along with assorted BierBC & Channel 4 bods.” D. Generate
“Perhaps NASA can offer an Xplanation for why there was no one else in sight when Beer Smarmer & the Balls-Cooper refugees' friend were doing a walkabout for the TV cameras in den Haag last week.” Tonsor Real
“The Niederlanders avoiding being bored to death by Smarmer sounds reasonable.” D. Troit

Gone wonky
Any current publications from the Oxford University Press, we have been reliably informed, can no longer be treated as accurate & objective. The once respected, non-commercial academic publisher has falling into the swamp of wokery and its offerings must now be dismissed as hopelessly contaminated with bias and selective fact quoting.

The Next Big Thing in the field of A.I. ChatBots will be ‘divergent thinking'. What is it? A way of coming up with apparently sensible justifications for lunatic concepts such as wokery.
Butterflies have upset the gorbal warmage fraudster DoomBuggers by flourishing this summer and trashing predictions off their imminent Xtinction.
In 2018, our choice for the next government was seen as between clueless & inept on the one hand and profligate, clueless & just plain crazy on the other. Plus ça change . .
The speed limit of 20 mph everywhere in Wales, imposed by the looney Labour government, will put a £9 BILLION Brown Hole into the Welsh economy, the Xperts reckon. This, let us not forget, is an essential part of the Smarmer Bierprint for Britain.

Mucho Originality
The Labour approach to dealing with anti-Semitism has turned out to involve chucking Jews off the membership rolls so that there's no one left who can complain about it. How Xceedingly cute.

Advertisement Mr. Wydey’s Book List Highly Recommended Reading, Authors worth pursuing & some Awful Warnings, Hundreds of Bux listed!

WEEK 4    Putin the boot in everywhere

 
It used to cost £6 million/day to keep uninvited migrants in hotels.
Now, it costs £8 million/day. No relief in sight.

They’re still out on strike Shame we’re not getting a good deluge; or even some snow

“Has anyone noticed the promised reduction in gas & electricity bills due to the reduction in supply company admin costs thanks to smart meters? No?” X. Pense
“We don't need a diverse police force right now, we need a competent & honest one. The cosmetic tweaking should follow a long way after the necessary basics are on offer. And offering us the cosmetics now just confirms how far the bods in charge have gone to pot.” Con Greel

Recycled Wisdom:
When you hear obvious bollocks from the Labour party, you have to remember that politicians don't need to tell actual lies to mislead people. They just omit inconvenient bitz of the truth.

Advertisement The New TV Sensation His political career is in the dumps but can Edstone Milipede reinvent himself as the star of the next Wallace & Gromit adventure? Tune in and find out! "This is the role he was born for. Very must-see!" TV Essentials

Lest we forget
Most of the R. Brand slagorama hoo-haa is focussed on his adventures between 2006 and 2013.
Question 1: Who was the Director of Public Prostitutions between 2008 and 2013?
Question 2: Was he too busy keeping J. Savile, paedophile, out of gaol and trying to stitch up the likes of Sir E. Heath, Sir C. Richard and H. Procter MP for child sex & murder offences using fantasies sourced by his creature T. Watson (now in the House of Lords) to be bothered about Brand?

There is so little important stuff that needs to be done that some boffins are reduced to things like measuring the decibel count of crisps & similar snacks to find something to write about.

Tourismo Confuso:
"When we get to Rome, I'm really looking forward to seeing Picasso's frescos in the Sixteenth Chapel."

Realité Confuso:
++ Net Zero Xposed as Nutty Zero ++ Ludicrous Left outraged ++ £12.50 per day for a licence to kill people ++ Is there a better deal on The Planet? ++

Egon Mush
Oh, dear. Bier Smarmer has been called delusional over his plan to take millions of asylum seekers from the EFU as part of a deal. The EFU asylum system is broken and it won't be doing any deals until over two dozen competing views are reconciled. Somewhere north of never.
“It takes a real idiot like Smarmer to fall for the double-cross of Lorraine.” Avin Nattitude
“Reality bites Smarmer's bum as well as the Snackstabber's if he postpones greenwash on new petrol/diesel cars & gas boilers for central heating.” Warren Peas
“What's the difference between being part of an EFU asylum quota system and having an ‘informal' deal that does the same thing? Too many beers, Smarmer.” Onya Byke
“If Bier Smarmer thinks lowering the voting age to 16 will put him in No. 10, that's more proof that he's a UseLEZ lump. Maybe the voting age should be put back up to 21 and require proof that you're making a contribution to income taxes.” J. Baltimore

Where the real crooks are
Let us not forget that the late comedian K. Dodd used to take payment for his gigs in cash and stored the money at home, not in a bank.
   When the Inland Revenue found out, the crooks there tried; and failed; to make him pay tax on the income he would have received had he invested the money, which he didn't so there was no tax liability.
   Income for the legal trade: two million bloody quid.

“What bloody use is the Financial Conduct Authority if the bozos running it conclude that there is no evidence of banks cancelling the accounts of customers on political grounds ONLY by IGNORING the cancellation of N. Farage's account by Cootts/NatWest and all the other cases?” E. Klips

FNF 1: the RoughRiders in the nation’s capital
Nine minutes of defence, then the RR struck with a TD. Mindless violence by the Riders got the RedBlacks close, down to the 1, Charge! 7-all after 13 minutes. A 54-yard TD pass put the RR 13-7 up a couple of minutes in to Q2, PAT NG. The RBs got a single from a punt. A 42 yard return of a pick in the last minute got the RR to the SK 6, TD, +2, 13-16. The RR managed to fumble the ball away with 5 seconds left, FG, 13-19 at the half.
   A single from an RR punt 4 minutes in to Q3, 14-19. Another FG for the RBs, 14-22. The RBs fumbled the ball away at the end of Q3 but they got the ball back in Q4. TD after 2 minutes, 14-29. A forced fumble went to the RBs, TD in the 9th minute, 14-36. A pick by the RBs with a couple of minutes to go, nowt from it. But the punt was returned for a TD, 20-36. Pipkin in for a TD with a minute to go, +2, 28-36. Final.

London's cosmetic mayor, Sadgeek K'han't, claimed that he went on his jolly to the UN in Noo Yawk to ensure that London remains @ the forefront of global action on climate change.
   Strike: action, Substitute: posturing

At the current rate of closure, pubs will become Xtinct in 2077.
Bier Smarmer is to blame.
And gorbal warmage, of course.

FNF 2: the BC Lions in Edmonton
BC started with a TD. A pick-6 by the Antlers, 53 yards, after 9 minutes, 7-all. BC went back ahead after 11 minutes with a TD, 14-7. Another to end the quarter, 21-7. A pick by the EA defence got them nowt. The Lions fumbled the ball away with 3 minutes to half time, Ford to Mitchell, 21-14. A chip shot FG for the Lions, 24-14. One back from Faithfull, 24-17.
   He missed from 41 yards, 4 minutes in to Q3 but made a 42-yarder after 10 minutes, 24-21. Groan. A TD for the Lions, 31-21. A FG with 6 minutes left, 34-21. Another TD for Mitchell in the 13th minute, 34-27. Whyte kicked a FG in the last minute, 37-27 final.

Fiscal Downs & Ups
Public confidence in the present Gov of the Bonk of England is @ an all-time low. The current right Charlie is even worse than the Canadian bozo who had the sinecure before him. The London Stock Market, however, is doing really well.

Rat’s RoundUp
The MeeTooSlag trend has left women who collapse and need CPR unlikely to get it from a bloke. Besieged men are now more likely to prefer to avoid sexual assault charges and not risk attempting some life-saving.
The police ‘investigating' the spy for China in Parliament are proceeding so slowly that the smart money is now going on no charges ever being made and a hope that everyone will forget that anything happened.
The Snackstabber thinks it would be a cute gesture to invite the Chinese along to a conference on A.I.s. Wot a shame it would be if everyone else stayed away to avoid being spied on at close range!

Sherie Streaks Back with a RoundUp
“I suppose blokes are to blame if tacky popsters & influencers think taking their clothes off empowers them. Groan.” Sam Izdat
“What we need to do is make something fairly impossible, such as Hungarian, our national language. It sure puts economic migrants off the idea of invading Hungary. Might work here.” Kar Andash
“Trussty Lizzie is her own worst enemy. It's hard to boot the UseLEZ Westminster Blob up the bum if you've shot yourself in the foot by admitting you're woke. Exit stage left, hopping in confusion.” Karash Owe
“Claiming that a person or organization is 'tackling climate change' by sticking an arm up to the elbow in the taxpayer's pocket should be made a criminal offence punishable by a wet month in the stocks PLUS a refund of the stolen loot with interest @ 12%.” Ravi Shol

Lest we forget
When it comes to throwing other people's money down a drain, Labour has never been backward about coming forward.
Gordon F. Broon is the nutter who inflicted H2S on us as part of his strategy for impoverishing the nation.

[irritating music]
In April of 2018, the idiot who had been made chief constable of Derbyshire cancelled his police farce's Male Voice Choir because the membership was ‘almost entirely male'.
The ‘almost' was added because the choir had a female pianist, and the idiot didn't think that made it diverse enuff.
The idiot's name was P. Goodperson (after diverse Harmpersonization), which constitutes an offence under the Trades Descriptions Act.

SNF 1: the Albertines in Calgary, storm brewing
The Als stopped the Stampeders with a pick, nothing from it. All defence into Q2. 3rd & 1 @ the 3 for Montreal, just score a TD, Evans. One back for the Stamps in the 13th minute. A single for the Als from a punt with 2 minutes left, 8-7. Boot! by the Stamps, 8-all. A FG for the Als and 11-8 at half time.
   The Als were stopped by a pick in Q3, the Stamps reached the MTL 3, pick in the end zone! Fajardo fired a bomb pass to the CGY 1, TD, 18-8. The Stamps kicked a FG a minute in to Q4, 18-11. One for the Als,21-11. The Stamps fumbled the ball away. TD for Stanback in the 13th minute, 28-11. Enuff.

Schmeality
The Labour blueprint for the government of the future, as rehearsed in Wales, is 60% more MPs and their hangers on wasting taxpayers' cash, no more first-past-the-post to ensure no party can win an outright majority and votes for 16-year-olds.
   Plus Bier Smarmer thinks the President Boris deal with the EFU is too thin. He wants something thicker. More thickheaded is the Smarmer way.
The Xperts reckon he's delusional about the EFU and his claim that he can get a better deal out of them is a political lie.
Another one is Smarmer's claim that Labour is the party of business if there is no ‘monkey' in front of the word business.
++ Commons committee chairwoman C. Dinenage orders US online media clip publisher to cancel R. Brand's income ++ Told to drop dead ++ Clear breach of Magna Carta rights here being ignored by usual suspects ++

SNF 2: the TigerCats in neighbouring T’ronno
The Argonauts kicked a FG after 4 minutes, then picked the Cats for a TD! 57 yards. 0-10. A botched punt catch left the Cats close, just a FG from it, 3-10. Bang! A long pass from Kelly went for a TD, 3-16. In Q2, the Argos got a single from a punt; and a FG with 2 minutes left. 3-20. The Cats got a single from a punt and stopped the Argos with a pick. 4-20. A FG try at 0:00 was just short
   Almost a TD for the Argos in the 12th minute of Q3 but the pass was picked at the goal line and taken out to the TC 20. Nearly a pick-6 for the Argos, TD from it, 4-27. 3rd & goal in Q4, TD for the Cats, 11-27. Intentional grounding gave the Argos a safety, 11-29. Add on a FG for the Cats, 14-29 final.

Edstone Milipede is under siege by those demanding an inquiry into his attempts to use the appalling & much sleazed R. Brand to hoover up the Yoof vote during his disastrous term as Labour's leader.
There are similar calls for stringent and independent inquiries to be made into the BierBC & Channel 4 spite attacks on someone who left them behind to make his fortune on-line. Heads must roll in abundance and the usual wibble apologies will not be acceptable.

Advancing wonkily
The Ministry of Woke Defence is seeking tenders for a new generation of tanks, which will be built with electric motors and have a top speed of 20 km/hr.
[No guns or missles fitted, of course. Ed.]
   In future, all battlefields will be required to include fast chargers spaced no more than 4.2 km apart.

One thing to say in favour of the scumbag R. Brand is that he didn't lower his standards by granting an interview to the BierBC smug bugger & Labour clown Nicro Binbag.

A bloke who helped to create the character of the TV clown Alan Partridge wants to do a make-over job on Beer Smarmer to make him less boring.
[Good luck with that. Ed.]

The New Orleans Saints in Green Bay in Week 3
The Saints went ahead with a TD in the 9th minute. All defence into Q2 then Shaheed returned a punt 76 yards for a TD, 14-0. The Packers were sacked out of scoring chance. The Saints got to & goal in the last minute of the half, held to a FG, 17-0.
   A sack then a pick stopped the Pack in Q3. NO QB Carr was sacked, dinged & out. Finally, a scoring chance but GB went out on downs to start Q4. A strip in the end zone, just a 48-yard FG for GB, 17-3 after 4 minutes. Double DPI got GB close. 4th & goal, TD for Love, 17-11 with +2. Another TD with 3 minutes left put GB 17-18 ahead. The Saints got to FG range as time ran out but a 46-yarder missed! Phew, Guv!

It's all very well moaning about stagnation in the sales of electric cars but if they costa bomb and have an actual carbon footprint twice the size of a petrol/diesel car, there's nowhere to recharge them rapidly in most of the country and the electricity network is increasingly reliant on overpriced occasional sources of power and will be unable to meet the demand from vehicles, what's the point of buying one?

Lest we forget
Net Zero here will have Net Zero effect on the global climate and waste TONs of our money, which could be better spent on worthwhile things. But hey, when has good sense had anything to do with politics?

Channel 4 claims it is in favour of terrorists blowing up oil pipelines. Anything to get noticed, eh?
[Debatable whether there's a queue far enuff for that bunch. Ed.]

An easy way out
Want to lose weight? Be ill. One of our correspondents reported a drop of one stone in his weight (9% of his body mass) totally without effort when he was stricken with an attack of osteoarthritis, which killed his appetite.
   And this was despite not getting up early in the morning, which some Xperts claim is essential for weight loss.

Yawn
The word ‘crisis' has lost its shock value, a survey has found. Overuse by politicians, charities and other organizations seeking funds has diluted the word's impact to the level of insignificance & ignorability.

++ Office for Economic Cockups & Destruction (based in Paris) botched forecast for UK inflation ++ Predicted BoE would raise bank rate again this month ++ No one surprised ++

What the government needs to do is stand H2S on its head, the real Xperts are saying. Forget the London to Birmingham leg. Making that journey 5 minutes faster doesn't justify the cost. Connecting Birmingham to Leeds and Manchester is a much better idea. And add on fast links joining Liverpool, Manchester, Sheffield and Leeds.
Communist terrorists are trying to drive tourists away from Spain so that the locals can Xist in the abject poverty that commies can Xploit.
Junking greenwash will double the costa living, the ludicrous left are now yelling. What a buncha Milipedes!
Bliar puppet lets the cat out of the bag. Remoaner Smarmer admits in Canada that he will thrust the UK back into the evil clutches of the EFU if he gets the chance.
“It was said late on a Saturday nite after too many biers? In biero veritas.” M. O'Lecular
“The rotation rate of the Labour spin machine confirmed old Bier has dropped a bollock of major proportions.” Des Perado

Ofcom's decision not to let ITV & Channels 4 & 5 show more advertising is viewed as rather a soggy squib as the first 5 channels on the TV menu can claim just a minor share of addicts, especially the young ones.

Tell ’em owt; some bugger will believe it
The Welsh government is claiming that it has some sort of time distortion system built in to the roads. "Travelling @ 20 mph adds 1 minute to a journey," claims ludicrous First Meenister Wokeford.
   But travelling 100 miles @ 20 mph instead of 30 mph adds 100 minutes to the trip—5 hours vs 3 hours 20 minutes.
   Could it be that Wokeford failed his maths O-Level and he's too ashamed to admit it? That the Welsh education system, under the dead hand of Labour, is UseLEZ?
Wokeford is the First Meenister who decided that going to pubs whilst the Chinese plague was raging was okay as long as you didn't drink alcohol.
“If you're looking for a prime Xample of someone doing something mind-numbingly stoopid, check out what the mob on the public payroll, especially our MPs, have been doing recently.” Crazy O'Mazey

"Decarbonizing" the Notional Grid will cost £2,000,000,000,000 Where is that going to come from? Passing a hat round the ludicrous left?

Political Appeal The British Union of Malcontents DESERVES your support Vote BUM and get one!

Three of twelve bottles left in the crate;
will he be able to stand up straight?

How many beers/crates did it take to get him to back votes for know-nothing 16 & 17-year-olds?

Okay, we admit it.
Calling Beer Smarmer a plank is an insult to wood.

"Will berks be banned in Britain?" had the Labour party up in arms until someone realized it was "Will burkas be banned?" misheard.
“A ban on Berkos would be good.” Gon Agin

A gagging order is always proof that someone in a position of authority has done something shameful and knows it, hence the cover-up.
Discuss.

Pushers’ Pay Day
The Snackstabber is said to be thinking of banning the sale of ciggies to the next generation by progressively increasing the minimum age for buying them. Which is great news for the people who make a living out of flogging smuggled ones.

Word of the Month: stetworthy
Generally applied to typos which convey the meaning of the intended word more effectively.

A gorbal warmage ‘Xpert'** claims that we wouldn't be in trouble over energy prices following Putrid's invasion of Ukraine if we had gone for electric heat pumps instead of gas & oil heating earlier.
   What he failed to add is that the Notional Grid wouldn't have been unable to supply enough power for the heat pumps without using gas & coal in power stations, and the current gas price would have been a lot lower had we Xploited the North Sea reserves on our doorstep.
[** someone making a living out of the racket. Ed.]
“That old thing about lying by omitting inconvenient facts rides again.” Nicro Binbagbuddy

No river his country can’t be sold down, no red lines he won’t cross

++ PM brings UK Net Zero plans into line with those of EFU ++ Ludicrous Left erupts in outrage ++

In the Good Old Daze, justice had to be seen to be done. Not any more if the legal trade has its way and the Law Commission is allowed to move trials behind closed doors.

Gooble is being sued by the family of a man who drove onto a bridge that wasn't there because Gooble failed to update its maps to show its absence in the decade after its collapse.

“Who are all these steak holders the government is pretending to be consulting instead of just telling kids, 'No, you can't pretends to be cats and moons of Jupiter at school.' And how come the holders don't include veggies & veganists? We should be told.” Anton Fekit
“How can the Snackstabber be failing The Planet if nothing we do here controls the global climate?” Stor Badget

Wibble Wonderland
"The temperature's rising", the ludicrous advert around the GB Views weather forecasts tells us. Something else that's rising is the cost of Net Zero imposed by the prime monsters from Gordon F. Broon to TheRazor May.
   Since 2008, the Edstone Greenwash Lunacy has wasted between £324 and £404 BILLION, depending on who's pushing the buttons on the calculator, and the total is on course to reach £1 TRILLION well before 2050.

Esso petrol 156.9p/litre.
Esso diesel 165.9p/litre.
The X is getting scruciating!

Instant Wisdom
“What the government needs to do is stand H2S on its head. Forget the London to Birmingham leg. That's fast enough and won't be improved enough to justify the cost.
   “Connect Birmingham to Manchester & Leeds instead, and add on Liverpool to Manchester and Manchester to Sheffield & Leeds. That's a much better idea.” Raquel Fromage

Medical Cynicism Wisdom
A consultant blagging three bloody grand for covering for a striking Jr.Doc's shift.
   It really is all about grabbing money with both hands and to hell with the customers.

Q: What is worse than being unable to find an ATM?
A: Getting through the routine for drawing out some cash, only to get a message saying, ‘Sorry, we can't be arsed to give you any dosh. Is there another service we can refuse to offer?'

Q: Should we get outraged by leaks of the vexatious taxes the Trivials are planning to unveil @ their party conference?
A: They're not going to form the next government, they're just attention-seeking, ignore them.

It's totally prethetic to whinge about London's cosmetic mayor, Sadgeek K'han't putting 200 tons of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere via his international jollies. That's less than the output from a Chinese or Indian coal-fired power station in the blink of an eye, and there are thousands of those buggers.
   Yes, the Sadgeek needs booting up the bum at least every two seconds for being a profligate tosser, but it should be done with real facts. Like the amount of taxpayers' cash he bungs into his Brown Hole to no benefit to the customers.

Flopperoonie
An attempt by the Trivials to rid themselves of an ancient leader; one as dotty as Creaky Joe; in a party conference boating 'accident' was a miserable failure. Well-meaning attendants fished soggy Eddy-Baby Davey out of the drink and saved him from drowning.
Slushtag^Clots

Those born between the mid 1990s and the early 2010s are unable to work alongside people who don't support their often nutty views. Why? 'Coz they haven't been taught tolerance and they have no ability to analyze the worth of concepts. Which is why their age group is now known as YIPs—Young Illiberal Pillocks.
“No worries. There are plenty of Old Illiberal Pillocks for them to relate to. As long as the OIP prejudices match their own, of course.” Hartly Worthit

Insight?
What Xactly is wrong with R. Brand's rape & murder ‘joke'? It's not as if it's anything he's done or is contemplating doing.
   Could it be that the outraged objectors are interpreting it as a sneaky way of saying he wouldn't touch any of them with an 11-foot pole? Stranger things have happened at sea.

The Scottish government is refusing to be panicked by stories of buildings containing foamed-concrete collapsing without warning. Checks on which public buildings contain it are proceeding at a leisurely pace and no acceleration is on the cards.
The gorbal warming fraudsters are claiming there was ‘searing heat' in Scotland. Hardly justified by the odd instance of 30.7 deg.C recorded in Dumfries & Galloway. But hey, when could you ever Xpect anything close to the truth from fraudsters?

There will be 160 mph winds and torrential downpours from Storm Agony.
Or something.
Just be very afraid.

Today’s Thought:
"With a façade of omnipotence comes great responsibility."
[Unless you're a politician or a senior member of the snivel service Blob. Ed.]

Answer needed
Why was the US funding the virus laboratory in Wuhan, China, which created the Chinese plague out of a bat disease and let it leak out to infect the rest of the world through having no biosecurity?

The Scittish government has opened its first official shooting gallery for junkies in Glasgow, the country's First City.

Today’s Other Thought:
"Nobody hates Britain more than the ludicrous left."

Not Xactly the epitome of fairness
It's an absurd distortion of the facts to claim that the firearms specialist copper who was charged with murder shot an unarmed man. The bloke who was killed didn't have a firearm but according to contemporary reports, he was racketing around in a car, which is a lethal weapon, ramming other vehicles, out of control and an obvious danger to life and limb.

Milestone or Millstone?
Striking Dox have reached the 1 Million cancellations marks for consultations & treatment appointments. And the total continues to grow.
   The striking Dox have taken the equivalent of a leap-year February off thus far—with more to come.

Census Screw-Up
During the 2021 census, incomers who have English as a second language, or who couldn't be arsed to learn the host country's language, mistakenly ticked the box for being transgender.
[Which makes the rest of what they offered highly suspect. Ed.]
   As a result, the Office for Notional Sadistics has massively overestimated the number of trannies in the UK.
“Was this deliberate? Were their 'community leaders' slipped a bung by transpicater groups after our cash? We should be told.” Choc O'Latti

Recycling is good, right?
The 5-month Hollywood scriptwriters' strike is collapsing. The studios have realized that they don't need to waste cash on A.I. systems if they have over 70 years' material in the can.
   Murder, She Wrote and the like can be recycled indefinitely and there is no real need for anything new.

[terrifying, discordant music]
We still have the Chinese plague sloshing around and the Flu Season is not far away, but that's not enuff for the DoomBuggers.
   PANIC!!
There's something else on the way that will make the Chinese plague look like a walk in the park.
   PANIC!!
They have no idea what this new plague is, or when it will go global, but hey! that's no reason not to PANIC!! right now.
p.s. Blame gorbal warmage? Why not?
p.p.s. The DoomBuggers have a book to plug.

Desolation Row Revisited
Is our deputy prime monster, O. Dowden, after a Smarmer Award for brainlessness? That's the general response to his panic-mongering on a jolly to the UN in Noo Yawk, where he claimed that A.I. will tip the 'uman race into Xtinction.
[Nothing on offer in the way of actual evidence, of course. Ed.]
[In fact, it was just a plug for a conference jolly here in the Yew Kay in November. Ed. II]

WEEK 5    Putin the ‘owl’ into lowlife

 
Only lies allowed
The climate spivs are at it again. It's a matter of record that cold weather kills ten times more people than hot weather, but the spivs are getting at the numbers to minimize deaths attributed to cold, and ramp up the numbers in occasional hot spells.
“The notion that 25 deg.C is killingly hot is absurd. It just shows up the depths to which the spivs are prepared to sink.” Gotya Raskikt

Diamond Wars
The diamond industry in Africa is hoping that getting celebs to play the ethical card on its behalf will help it to triumph over laboratory-grown diamonds.
   Sounds like a tall order, despite the huge investment and vested interests; legal & criminal; associated with 'dug up' diamonds. They have an enormous carbon footprint compared to that of 'air diamonds' which are made in places like the UK using carbon from carbon dioxide Xtracted from the atmosphere and much, much cheaper, especially when it comes to making industrial diamonds for grinding & polishing, and diamond-tipped drills & other tools.

The Detroil Lions in Green Bay in Week 4
The Lions were stopped by a pick, GB FG from it. Two passes to wide open receivers, TD for the Lions, 7-3 in the 7th minute. The Lions were back for another after 12 minutes, 14-3. They kicked a FG a minute in to Q2, 17-3. The Lions picked a tipped pass right away, another TD, 24-3. And a FG to end the half, 27-3? No, another sack on Love.
   Finally, a TD from GB after 7 minutes of Q3, 27-11 with +2. The Pack started Q4 inside the Detroit red zone, TD for Love, no +2, 27-17. The Lions to the 1 after 6 minute, another TD, 34-17. GB got close but a pick stopped them. A FG with 3 minutes to go, 34-20. And that was how it finished. Did GB have their reserves on the field in the first half?

Q: Is the BierBC capable of covering up its obvious ludicrous left bias?
A: The director, General T. Davie, isn't up to the job.
“The BierBC is having its cage rattled again about the partiality of its minions but does anyone really think we trust their stooges? Right. Thought not.” 40 Chewed

No Sugar, Samphire!
A. Ready meals cost more than the total for buying the ingredients yourself. Cue outrage.
B. But not if you including the cooking costs in the calculation and some dodginess about carbon footprints helped to provide the desired result for the outrage seekers.
C. 25% of adults are burning their healthy meal virtue flags by snacking, the Xperts reckon. How come? The most popular snacks tend to be junk foods.

No river he won’t sell us down reprise
Bier Smarmer claims: "The UK is drifting off the global stage**."
Translation: He's not getting enuff adoration from other ludicrous lefties abroad and he wants to throw more of our money at them to buy the degree of adoration to which he feels entitled.
[** meaning the EFU stage. Ed.]
“Beer Smarmer's problem is that he has no idea what vexatious rules & regulations there should be, he can't trust his minions to come up with anything sensible and that's why he wants to devolve the job of creating them; and any blame; to the EFU.” Avinga Guddun

The ‘Rs’ have it
Bier Smarmer is now claiming that he was misquoted when he called O.J. Corbynstein his friend. Some typo-prone typist put an 'r' into the word 'fiend' and the blunder wasn't spotted until it would have been eggon mush time if it had been changed.

The Blobists have turned Whitehall into an old wokes' home, according to the venerable Sir J. Rees-Mogg. Sounds like a bonfire of the inanities is long overdue. Where are the Putinazis with their novichok when you need them?
The Transpicater lobbyists who have infiltrated the snivel service are playing the Narzi card when someone chooses not to take them seriously. Natch, the mininarzis in charge of the snivel service are looking the other way.
The response from the Cabinet Office snivellers is that anyone who behaves evilly will be allowed to get away with it, in accordance with the new normal woke rules.
Tags applied to criminals can be snipped off with ordinary kitchen scissors and discarded so that the former wearer can do a bunk. Which leads to suspicion that the Home Office wonks who are in favour of them have shares in the manufacturers.
Prisons are recognized as criminal training grounds, and the screws are no different from the cons when it comes to joining in, their own trade union has admitted.

A 24-hour wait for attention @ an NHS A&E Department is the new normal.

Advertisement Alaska & Canadian Rockies —a holiday destination or tasty cakes? "Total delight from start to finish" The On-The-Move Chef

FNF 1: the Argonauts in Winnipeg
A TD for Olivera opened the scoring, 0-7. The Argos came right back with an equalizer after 9 minutes. QB Dukes went in for another after 13 minutes, 14-7. The Blue Bombers kicked a FG a couple of minutes in to Q2, 14-10. They were sacked to another FG after 8 minutes, 14-13. They fumbled the ball away with a minute left, FG from it, 17-13.
   Add a single 2 minutes in to Q3, 18-13. A long FG try by the BBs doinked off the upright. A shorter one in the 14th minute went through, 18-16. One for the Argos in Q4, 21-16. The BB forced a fumble and got a FG from it, 21-19. Prukop from the TA 2, 21-25, no +2. The BB kicked a FG in the 14th minute, 21-28. Another in the last minute sealed the deal @ 21-31.

Someone has smacked Bier Smarmer around the back of the bonce and made him abandon depriving private schools of their charitable status, which would cost the taxpayer BILLIONs. Until the next flip-flop.

“Oil & gas stop British people from freezing to death and Team Putin & the envirolooneys have a real problem with that.” By Tmee
“Gordon F. Broon has lost it big time if he thinks the Middle East oil & gas producers are going to cough up any of their ginormous windfall profits due to Putrid's invasion of Ukrains. But maybe rattling the begging bowl will give him a spot of beneficial Xercise.” Reg I. Side

89% of Democraps are on record as not caring if Creaky Joe is dodgy and up to his neck in his son's financial shenannygoats.

FNF 2: the RoughRiders in Vancouver
The BC Lions rushed to the SK 6, just a FG from it. A punt by the Riders gave them a single, 1-3. Another home team FG with a couple of minutes left in the quarter, 1-6. And again a couple of minutes in to Q2, 1-9. A pick stopped the Riders, nowt from it. Pipkin barged in for an SK TD with 4 minutes left, 8-9. A 50-yard FG put BC 8-12 ahead. A 48-yarder the other way, 11-12. BC got to the SK 34, Adams to Hatcher, TD, 11-19.
   A 71-yard bomb to Hollins half-way through Q3 put the Lions, 11-26 ahead. Hollins again with a TD pass from the SK 5, 11-33. A FG try by the Riders a couple of minutes in to Q4 missed for a single, 12-33. SK got close but a pick in the BC end sone stopped them in the 11th minute. SK got a consolation TD with a minute & change left, 19-33. A mad scramble from the kick off gave the ball to the Riders, A TD from the 2 made the final score 26-33.

Shirk @ Homers are contributing significantly to the o'besity crisis due to their easy access to the biscuit tin and other high calorie count snacks.

Forget the million cancellations story. The NHS Confederation has done a real world audit and found that 2 million NHS appointments have been cancelled by strikers.
Over £1 BILLION has gone into the strikers' Brown Hole. The good news for consultants is that they have copped for a significant chunk of it by covering for striking Jr.Dox.

Sherie Zooms Back for a Fox Hunt Rounding Up
“Where's the equality & freedom of speech in a bloke who was cancelled and lost his trade not being allowed to be rude to a woman whom he thinks has it coming?” Byron Symbol
“Isn't it great when someone craving victimhood has it thrust upon them and realizes it's not so wonderful after all!” Ann T. Quitty
“What's Gordon F. Broon doing sticking his nose in? The old duffer not getting noticed enuff?” Tak Tierem
“What they should do is an 'investigation' using the bods who hurl the whitewash around when the BierBC 'investigates' someone like gary bloody lineker.” Res Trooms
“You can't have a Ministry for Men 'coz you can't have a Ministry for Women 'coz the ludicrous left don't know what a woman is.” Georgio Clownsburg

Below the line mission statement: Some of the above is true. BFN is recognized as a premiere class observational blog and a multiple winner of the OB of the Year award.
   We are constantly exposed to dodgy conclusions drawn from dodgy data by the 'experts', especially those found in the world of politics and especially those at the Treasury and in opposition and running trade unions.
   Some of us civilians at BFN like to join in to let them know that anyone can do it and we ain't impressed by their efforts.

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Created for Romiley Anarchists' League by workers in revolt against oppression to set the record straight in the 3rd millennium. © RAL, September MM23 like anyone cares.