 Net Zero is going into the bin to be replaced by Smart Zero. A reason to cheer? Not if the evidence tells us that anything described by those in office as 'smart' never is. And worse, it's always a scam.
  Q: How can you charge up 33,000,000 EVs with only 44,000 public chargers distributed around the country?
 A: You can't.
Q: So why are the gorbal warmage fraudsters claiming it's no problem?
A: The big clue is in that world 'fraudsters'.
Q: What is a good way to upset the restaurant wine snobbelier?
A: Stick an ice cube in your glass.
Q: Is it a Bad Thing that Queen Elizabeth's death caught her courtiers on the hop, as we're being told?
A: The quicker the transition from getting by to completely out of it, the better. So it was a Good Thing.
  Control freak, just one more tax
This guy will not only rob you blind with scams of Net Zero value to his long-suffering customers, he'll also waste the cash. Who the hell does he think he is? Gordon F. Broon?
 80% of the Greek Island Rodos is unaffected by the wildfires, which are being overblown by cynical gorbal warmage fraudsters. That's wildfires mostly started by 'uman arsonists, not the climate, let us keep stressing.
  Lotsa rabbit, no dosh on offer
If stowing illegal immigrants in tents is cruel, they do have the option to leave the country illegally in a small boat, the same way they arrived illegally.
And the charity wonks, who are making a living out of illegals and who think giving someone a tent to live in is cruel, feel bent out of shape, they do have the option to stick their mitt into their own pocket and pay for a stay @ a hotel or holiday camp for illegals.
 The government is throwing 15% more cash @ the lawyers who make their dosh out of the asylum scam.
 Rattle their bones
Fans @ a pop concert jumping up & down, plus the sound system, can create the equivalent of a R2.3 earthquake for nearby seismometers. Which makes the R0.5 limit on quivers produced by fracking look just like the feeble idiocy that it is.
 The fans @ an American crunch match during the NFL season can achieve similar miniquakes.
 Rat’s RoundUp
 Could Creaky Joe Bidet really be an illegal alien from the Planet Zarg?
Could this be why the Democraps and their allies in the US Injustice System and the Federal Bureau of Instigation are confecting so many BS charges against The Donald?
Customers are advised not to Xpect any honest answers to these questions.
  “Anything to distract from the many criminal charges Creaky Joe's son thinks he can walk away from ‘coz his dad is the freakin' president.” Ochen Gromadniy
“$5 MILLION bribes for each of dad & the lad? These Democraps sure don't come cheap if that's accurate.” Ek Topic
“The Yanks must pay their politicians really well if Joe can go from $30K in the bank when he became vice-pres. in 2009 to $40 MILLION now he's pres.” Sin Cardinal
“That's why Joe's hoping for another term. He wants to take a crack @ the billion dollar barrier.” Velikovskiy Gorod
Q: What does it tell you about A. Platell Speople in the Daily Disaster if she has never seen a bloke using a Hoover or a woman mowing a lawn?
A: Sounds like she needs to get out more.
Q: How can a Jr.Doc strike-confecter on £14/hour (allegedly) be the outright owner with no mortgage of a flat valued @ £542K?
A: It's a miracle! Make him a saint!
Q: And why can't he pay his bills, this saint?
A: Too disorganized or too busy confecting strikes and going on holiday trips sounds most likely.
| GRRR! | The BMA, the strike confecter's trade union, is outraged that anyone would dare to Xpose the hippocrisy of its leaders. How very Labour party. |
 Needed: the tools for the job
 The nation's police services are seeking a special Xemption from having to use electric vehicles for anything other than prisoner transport ‘coz they are just not up to the job of chasing bad guys and getting somewhere in an egermency.
 Motivation suspect
"Why are the people of the Channel Island Alderney opposed to trawling through what happened 80 years ago during the Narzi occupation?" asked a bloke writing about it in the Daily Disaster.
Because it's all about the Holocaust industry & making money for the people running it, has to be the quick answer.
 As all the residents were evacuated to England before the Narzis arrived, it's nothing to do with them and the prisoners kept there were Russians & Ukrainians. And the residents of Alderney are not thrilled by war crimes tourists rather than holidaymakers.
Worse, the whole thing is being used by the evil left to attack Winston Churchill now he's no longer in a position to defend himself.
 No Sale
 The Bonk of England, prop. A. Useless Bailey, has been forced to draft in the bloke who used to be in charge of the US Federal Reserve to put its economic forecasts in touch with reality.
“That Bailey bloke, like his predecessor, the Canadian bloke, is an antidigy rather than the prodigy we so desperately need.” K. Tipwheeze
Q: Why do patients treated @ home sometimes recover faster than people with the same complaint in a hospital?
A: The range of drinks & snacks & cake on offer for treating can be much broader and more generous @ home than in a hospital.
Q: Why's that guy called 11%
A: ‘Coz he's "what you got plus 11%". Or so he reckons.
When Donald Trump is re-elected, will he issue Presidential pardons to the Bidens, Creaky Joe & Hunter, for all their financial antics? Or will he consider it a cheap political gesture that's beneath him?
  “Tens of thousands of people debanked indicates that a fine of £1 million per person excluded imposed on the banking organization responsible is necessary to make the shareholders start asking awkward questions.” L.G.R.
 How much have we pissed off the EFU by decamping? They're demanding fingerprints, a facial scan, a detailed biography, PINs and a stonking fine before they'll part with a visitor visa. That much.
 Senior Docs have started putting into place, their alibis for a surge of deaths this coming winter.
 Today’s Ultimate Daftness:
There is actually a Scottish Tree Hugging Championship, with events including freestyle & speed hugging as many as possible in a given time. And there's a world championship held annually in Finland.
No, really, it's true, there is.
 Sherie Does the Biz . . .
“Are there really lotz of prickstolians around who blow a fuse @ the mere thought of human cannibalism? Or is the meeja machine just Xposing them to ridicule to entertain the rest of the readers?” Wippor Whil
“If the Just Stoppers get their way, all the wind turbines will seize up for lack of lubrication. Same with the wheels of electric cars.” Zarcola Jaccusi
[No doubt the Just Stoppers will claim synthetic lubricants will be better. Ed.]
“At five times the price of oil-based ones, yes. Nice racket.” Zarcola Jaccusi
[They offer an alternative, no one sez it's a good one. Ed.]
“Too bloody right!” Zarcola Jaccusi
 Maybe paying inheritance tax should be made voluntary so that those who want to wave a virtue flag can let the government pick the pockets of their heirs when they're dead & gone, and the heirs of those who don't needn't pay a red cent.
What's wrong with the world today?
It's simple.
Belief, no matter how mistaken, has become proof.
Evidence is now superfluous
  Accurate, maybe, but so what?
Some climate guru reckons that global temperatures were the same as they are currently around 120,000 years ago.
And did that wipe out all life on The Planet as the Warmists are claiming will happen?
Well, not if we're here, laughing at them.
 The Disney organization has not impressed the Brothers Grimm Society with its perversion of Snow White to Snow Wonk, six of whose dwarfs are taller than the Slush Maiden.
  There has to be a limit to what the poor old customers will swallow
Scottish Labour is pretending to be outraged by the gallivanting activities of the First Meenister, H. Useless. Which conveniently ignores the essential truth that a politician doing nothing isn't doing something damaging & totally stoopid.
More of the same
The latest scare story from the Warmists is that making solar panels and flat screens for phones, TVs, etc. is pumping nitrogen trifluoride into the atmosphere and it's 10,000 times more greenhousy than rotten old carbon dioxide!!!!
One very minor snag—the amount of NF3 in the atmosphere is insignificant. Oh, and another one—as with CO2, we're not causing the problem.
  What load of unlikely bollocks can we scare the customers with this week?
Well, some worms found frozen in Siberian permafrost were brought out of suspended animation by being thawed out. Great! PANIC!!!
Gorbal warmage melting ancient ice will release millions of deadly bugs & infections to wipe us all out.
PANIC!!!!!!
Scottish Labour is trying to take actual medical ishues out of the transpicater ‘right' to pretend to be a cat, a moon of Jupiter, etc. rather than (fe)male. Sense & logic are also doomed to be Xcluded ‘coz that's the Labour way.
 Tell apologists to drop dead
 What the UK's politicians need to do is stop trying to do things for the rest of the world and concentrate on doing things for the people paying their bungs.
The rest of the world has been taking from us for centuries; our language, our skills, our inventions, etc., etc. What's on offer in return? Just moans & whinges and hands held out for even more bungs.
Sod the lot of them!
 [morally deficient Labour]
“You just have to look @ Smarmer to appreciate the full meaning of the phrase ‘neither use nor ornament'.” Scan Doschir
“Labour isn't trying to sell him as the best of the best any more. They're falling back on the least of the worst. What a brilliant outfit a Labour government would be on those terms.” Ott Toseman
Women are no good @ using stairs. 80% of the people who fall when going downstairs are female, Xperts in the Untied States have found. Why? ‘Coz the woman is multitasking and not paying attention to the main job in hand.
  Retribution looms
Chief constables who let their minions ignore thefts from shops to the value of £50, £100 or even £200 are to be hit personally in the pocket by a class action brought by outraged retailers.
The senior coppers concerned will be charged with facilitating theft & gross misconduct in a public office.
If the police ignore 94% of crime, then wot bluddy use are they? And if the Can't Prosecute Service can't be arsed to take solid cases dumped in their laps to court, what bluddy use are they?
Sherie With A Quickie
“Where's a Russian Charlotte Corday when you need one?” Igor Bliemey
“Looks like the Bar Council has spent too long in one if its bosses think Xposing the criminal behaviour of its members undermines the rule of law, but the actual criminal behaviour itself doesn't.” Yaran Utta
“The PM calls for common sense in climate policy? Like that's ever going to happen!” R. Ken Sawr
Q: BBQ?
A: It used to be Barbados Quisine, much enjoyed by the privateers of the Caribbean, before it was made shorter & snappier.
Are we having a climate crisis here in the UK? Nope. Are we causing a catastrophic floods and melting glaciers and polar ice with our greenhouse gas emissions? Nope.
What we need is a system for issuing fixed penalty notices to warmage whingers. Say, £500 per witless whinge.
 The Earth's kettle has boiled!
No more cold winters, sez the UN Secretary, General A. Guterrez. The struggle to achieve gorbal warmage is over and we are now on the sunny plains of gorbal boilage.
No more sky-hi heating bills in January & February!
 Necessary Note of Caution
The United Nations Organization is all about politics and not to be trusted as it treats science as something to be cherry-picked to back views of financial advantage to political stances of maximum financial advantage.
Customers are advised to keep their wallet securely chained up when this gang is in the vicinity.
Q: Why has discarded PM t.b. liar started saying that nothing we do here will affect the global climate as China, etc., are doing all the greenhouse outgassing?
A: Because Bier Smarmer is spraying himself with greenwash and making Labour unelectable. Which will deprive bliar of back-door money-making opportunities.
 Dictionary Corner:
polyglott [Greek: many + tongue] someone who can speak and/or write many languages
glott on the landscape Bier Smarmer doing his ventriloquist act.
 Surveys of Democrapic party members have found that their most wanted successor for Creaky Joe is . . . Mhegan the Muciloid! Who's now 40-something and way past it.
Esso petrol 142.9p/litre.
 Esso diesel 146.9p/litre.
The rip is going even further in the direction of off.
 
The crap battery of one of the 25 EVs aboard is getting the blame for setting ablaze off the coast of Holland, a cargo ship that was taking them to Egypt.
The Biden Crime Family has been accused of working hard to turn the Untied States of America into a Chinese copy of the Soviet Union.
The Biden Crime Family has been accused of working hard to put Donald Trump back into the White House.
H2S is getting red ‘unachievable' ratings from the Infrastructure & Projects Authority. No one is surprised.
If the Tory record on crime is abysmal, imagine what the record of a government by Labour, the party of the criminal, would be like. If you want to scare yourself.
A BierBC stooge calls the iconic wartime Dambusters Raid on German dams ‘infamous'. Yet another shameful Xample of anti-Britischness. No danger of the stooge getting the sack, of course.
How did the Yorkshire police fail to prevent Greanpeas vandals from stomping about on the roof of the PM's family residence in Yorkshire? The security mob asleep @ the wheel? No sackings, of course.
 TNF: the BC Lions in Winnipeg in week 9
The Blue Bombers @ their 39, Collards with a bomb pass to Schoen, TD from the opener. The Lions couldn't make 3rd & 1. The BB @ their 53, TD pass to Jefferson, 0-14. Just a single from a punt for the Lions. Their next try was stopped by a pick, FG 6 minutes in to Q2, 1-17. One back for the Lions, 4-17. DPI @ the BC 3, TD for the Bombers, 4-24. Another pick as time ran out, FG, 4-27.
Another bomb pass from Collards in Q3, another single for BC, 5-34. FG for BC, 8-34. A fumble by Olivera gave BC a defensive TD in the 6th minute of Q4, 14-37. Olivera kept hold of the ball in the 7th minute, TD, 14-43. Another long pass got the BB close, TD pass for Schoen again, 14-50 final. It was 30-6 for the Lions in Week 3. Some turn-around!
 The sooner he’s binned, the better
London's cosmetic mayor, Sadgeek K'han't, is having to ramp up his financial assaults on motorists as protesters keep stealing & sabotaging the spy cameras he's having installed in UseLEZ zones, current & potential.
The Chinese manufacturers of the cameras are reported to be applauding this demonstration of democracy in action.
People thinking of buying an EV are being warned that a Chinese import will contain a hidden kill switch, which the Chinese government can use to bring vast numbers of electric cars to a dead stop if the waxworks get the hump big-time.
 Labour's Cabinet wannabes feel entitled to put parking fines on their Xpenses. If caught, a blunder by a minion gets the blame as a 'not me, guv.'
The Smarmer-led Labour party now has one-third less members than the version led by O.J. Corbynstein. So much for the Monster's popularity.
Using gas direct from beneath the North Sea has a carbon footprint one-third the size of importing it in liquid form. Strange the Labour party doesn't get this. Or that our carbon footprint is insignificant globally.
Or they don't want to get basic facts because they hate Britain so much that they don't care how much of our cash they waste in the cause of empty virtue flagging.
FNF: The Argonauts in Calgary
The home team went in for a TD from the goal line in the 10th minute. One back for the Argos with a bomb, Kelly 76 yards to a wide open Phillips after 7 minutes, 7-all. Lots of defence into Q2. A 45 yard FG gave the Stampeders another lead in the 10th minute, 7-10. The Argos got close to scoring but a pick in the end zone in the 13th minute stopped them.
The Stamps closed the half with another TD, grabbed in the end zone after a punt catch was botched, 7-17. Another FG half way through Q3, 7-20. The Stamps did ground-pounding into Q4. The Argos did nothing with a fumble recovery; out on downs. No more scoring. Quite a reversal of recent fortunes for both teams.
Esso petrol 143.9p/litre.
Esso diesel 146.9p/litre.
The petrol rip is going even faster in the direction of off.
1 + 1 = 3
"How can Saudi Arabia pay millions to footballers when thousands of children are starving in neighbouring Yemen?" a newspaper letter-writer asked.
Simple answer—the two are not connected. Yemen is an independent country and if the idiots living there want to keep up an endless civil war, that's nothing to do with the Saudis.
Monzo Bank for MORONs? Great advertising slogan for some wonk cancellers.
Only in the USA does this make sense
Democraps are accusing ex-President Trump of undermining the election process back in 2021 as they themselves are trying to undermine the current election process by shoving him in gaol on the basis of nothing charges that should have been brought in 2021 if they had any merit.
"Those whom the Gods would destroy . . ." ect.
Sherie Bounces Back
“One cheer for Weather Control for clouding last Tuesday night and sparing us fake pix of a monstrous tangerine Moon rising behind some landmark or other.” S. Scratchiwan
“One more indictment will give Trump enuff support to make the next presidential election unnecessary! Which should save US taxpayers a few bucks.” Mattel Ebank
 “Are we supposed to think there's going to be another Storm Anton if the bozos @ the Met Office have called this weekend's event Anton1?
“Alternatively, are we supposed to think this is the 9th storm called Anton if this one is Antoni?
“If so, why can we find no trace of Antona, Antonb, Antonc, etc.?” L.E. Mentry
[Attempting to apply logic to the pronouncements of the Met Office is usually a good way of wasting time. Ed.]
Sat NF: the Albertines in Hamilton
The TigerCats fumbled away their first possession but got the ball back with a pick as the Als got close to scoring. A 38-yard FG try by the Als after 9 minutes missed. The next Als drive ended with a pick after 13 minutes.
The Cats went ahead with a TD in the 3rd minute of Q2. A pick after 8 minutes gave the ball to the Als, FG, 3-7 in the 12th minute. One back for the Cats, 3-10. A 53-yard play by the Als set up a FG try which doinked off the upright. The Cats had time to miss a FG but got a single from a tackle in the end zone, 3-11.
Sack/fumble a minute in to Q3 gave the ball to the Cats, FG from it, 3-14. One the other way in the 11th minute, 6-14. Another in the last minute, 9-14. End zone DPI by the Cats in Q4, Charge! by the Als, easy +2, 17-14.
A gift of a pick for the Als set up another FG, 20-14. Roughing the punter gave the Als a first down and kept them on the road to another TD, 27-14. And that's how it ended. Back to back wins by the Als after losing 3 in a row.
Endless Cycles
In the good old days, houses used to have a pantry attached to the kitchen. Modernizers in the 20th century knocked down walls and used the space to make the kitchen bigger.
It is now fashionable to create a pantry for the range of gadgets which are deemed to be essential. How much longer will it be, we wonder, before people realize that they can't afford the electricity to run lotz of fancy gadgets and opt to have more room to move about in their kitchen?
Q: Was it a Good Thing for the senior cop who used to do the Met's drugs strategy to have enjoyed a breakfast joint and scoffed hallucinogens in his off-duty time?
A: Depends whether he was in his right mind @ the time of writing.
 The copper was also a drunk as well as a druggie; at home but not at work; according to a former tenant. The best the copper's brief could do in the way of slagging off the witness, a nurse, was to call her a gold-digger & a serial-litigant.
Vin vs Dictive
Abolishing the VAT ‘tourist tax' would create 200,000 jobs and inject anywhere between £5,100,000 and £10,000,000,000 into the economy, depending on which Xpert is doing the reckon. So why is Chancellor Hunt the Stunt not getting on with it?
Is this another example of his uselessness in office? Or is he a secret Labour party member with an anti-Britisch agenda? We should be told.
Net Zero or Nutcase Zero?
The latter if we let bung-taking idiot politicians destroy our economy on the road to achieving zero impact on the global climate.
 Time-Wasters
The organizers of the Miss Italy contest announced that only those who were born female could enter as a counterblast to a poorly restructured bloke being woked to first place in the event in Holland.
The next thing you know, they were flooded with pointless entries from transisters—over 100 at the last count. Dig the logic out of that.
Who's Next?
Something else to thank the Xploding Islamists for—Moslems are being Faraged by financial institutions with as little justification.
 The Devil has the idle hands dancing
The Disaster Confection Agency branch in Washington, D.C., has been on overtime for the last month to ensure that Donald Trump's court appearances on trumped up charges will look like the Events of the Decade.
200 agents of the Federal Bureau of Instigation have been drafted in to help create a max-Biden impact.
 Mindblowing Facts:
12 motorway service stations, each with 20 ultra-rapid chargers for EVs, will require the ENTIRE output of a nuclear power station to provide their electricity.
The unpreparedness of the National Grid to get the power to where it's needed is something that politicians of all shades seem incapable of getting. They're clearly too busy yelling empty Net Zero slogans to be in touch with reality.
SunNF: The RedBlacks in Susquatchewan
The RB opener went to a FG, which was short but bounced into the end zone for a single. The RoughRiders reached the Ottawa 10, set up for a FG, it was a fake but the RBs obligingly jumped offside! TD from the next play, 1-7. Another 50+ yard FG try went through, 4-7.
The RBs punted a minute in to Q2, the ball ended up out of bounds and Ottawa got the last touch.@ the18, sacked to a FG, 7-all. A chip shot the other way, 7-10. A punt got a rouge for the RBs, and the RR had time left for a FG, 8-13 at the half.
A bomb pass from half-way gave the RR a TD in Q3. 8-20. A botched hand-off gave the ball to the RBs @ the SK 23, Crum sacked yet again, FG, 11-20. The RR were held to a FG, 11-23. Ward again, 14-23. The Riders lost the ball at the start of Q4, scoop & score by the RBs, 21-23. FG for the RBs with a minute left, 24-23. 54-yarder by Lauther, 24-26 and a win after another sack on Crum.
 How wonderful it is that the snivel service is encouraging BLAME rachelists to teach white schoolkids to be ashamed of their heritage, and the government is letting them get away with it and actually paying them to do it with our money.
Libraries in Labour-controlled areas are hiding books by authors who fail to support Labour's endless promotion of transpicaters & their ishues.
The more pointless & wasteful the better?
The ‘inquiry' into the Chinese plague is blowing £1,740,000 Per Single Day on its ‘evidence taking'! Great business for the legal trade. Net Zero use to the people forking out the dosh.
This farce is scheduled to continue for 3 more years!!!!!!
This farce of an 'inquiry' has admitted being a waste of time and our money by employing a PR firm; also at our expense; to try to polish its image. Another triumph of arrogance over reality.
 No Taxation Without Representation!
The Most Heinous Part of the spread of the UseLEZ scam to outer London is that it is being imposed on areas which didn't get a vote in the mayoral election because they're not actually in London.
Q: We get occasional mentions of a bloke called Arnold Schwartzenberger; what's a Schwartzenberger?
A: It's German for black pudding.
Public Service Announcement He's been called the Blogger of the Decade
His intellect is matched only by the size of his luck and the size of his bank balance. And yet he manages to keep his Feet On The Ground with the greatest of ease. Do yourself a favour and find out what Xavier has had to say about what's going on Right Now! |
Sherie Bounces Back Again
“Did the Greanpeas ecofuks walk to Yorkshire to kick slates off the PM's roof or did they get on their bikes? We should be told.” Von Tapper
“The BierBC gobnarzi has really lost it if he thinks anyone will believe he got a standing ovation in Marks & Sparks after he was suspended for being a twat.” Krisjer Rico
 “It's gobsmacking that the Enviromint Minister actually had the gutz to tell Greanpeas that her door is closed to them and HMG wants nothing more to do with this bunch of entitled ecovandals.” 2Ding Dupp
“One cheer for the Albanian people smugglers who are Xporting criminals from the UK; for a suitable fee; and saving us the cost of a trial and the 50 grand or whatever it costs per year to lock the bastards up.” C.J. Playpen
“As Little John of the Daily Disaster pointed out, we have the sex crime police supremo facing sex charges & the drug strategy guy on drug charges. Which leaves us wondering what the Flying Squad gets up to in its spare time. Hijack airliners?” Con Tiguous
Q: What's a good way to outrage Generation-Whinge?
A: Point out, ever so politely, that they are self-obsessed, addicted to technology and hypersensitive about themselves but rude to everyone else, especially their elders & betters. Worse, they will never achieve anything as long as they spend their day posting whinges on auntie-social meeja instead of doing anything useful.
The Drax power station, which burns wood chips imported from across the Atlantic, is a net carbon dioxide producer & a scam. But its emissions are insignificant compared to those from China, India, South America, the USA, etc.
Also, unlike the occasionals, which are as much of a greenwash scam and a taxpayer rip-off as Drax, it's always on. Occasionals need the right wind speed or sunshine to produce electricity. And if they don't get them, they're just useless ornaments.
[Not terribly ornamental and just blots on the landscape when they're not producing. And Drax is an ideal subject to lie about with a sunset picture of cooling towers. Ed.]
“Right! Looks like a routine picture of Chinese power stations on a good, low-smog day!” Shavar Knee
 Another take on Mission Impossible
A professor was recommending blood pressure checks in the Sunday Post, Scotland's favourite newspaper. But if the NHS can't cope with the Xisting workload, what are the chances of it taking on something Xtra? Apart from Net Zero or in cosmetically small amounts.
 Absurdity that has to stop
The Scottish Prison Service is in trouble for pretending that menopausal women can be blokes or some weird creature which is neither male nor female; or both.
Urgent Question
Is the present wave of endemic stupidity a side-effect of the Chinese plague? One that makes otherwise symptomless people become irrational & lose touch with reality? It's an Xplanation worth considering.
Scottish Optimism
Surprisingly, a survey has found that only 55% of the respondents don't trust Scottish government ministers to work in Scotland's best interests when it comes to the costa living and a mere 59% don't trust their government to make the NHS work.
Greanpeas & Just Stoppers to have a team arse-kicking match to determine which gets to be the Useless Arseholes of the Month?
Smarmer Labour has admitted that it has no plan for illegal migrants. No one is surprised.
There is overwhelming support for the view that the best thing to do about climate change is to find ways to make things better, not ways to shove more taxpayers' cash into the pockets of the biggest crooks & their political pals.
Greanpeas is now on the list of terrorist organizations. Associate with it at your peril.
An assessment of the impact of the Chinese plague has found:
 1. The government had a perfectly workable pandemic plan sorted out before the Chinese plague arrived but politicians of all coats abandoned it.
2. Large numbers of scientists and medical Xperts used the plague as a means of attacking a Conservative government because they subscribe to evil left orthodoxy.
3. Scientists & spivs were able to hoover up vast amounts of public money with little or no scrutiny, aided by the snivel service.
4. The planners Xpected delivery of their plan to be in the hands of rational people. They got that dead wrong.
Worse:
It is reasonable to Xpect the 5-year ‘inquiry' to blow £100 BILLION on writing a version of history that suits the irrationals & saboteurs, and offers Net Zero benefit to the taxpayer.
  Do you lack Grounds for Complaint?
Do you want to be outraged?
Open an account with us and find out why we're called The Arrogant Bastards Bank.
ABB, 14 Cootts Drive, Higher Romiley
Sherie Saunters Back . . .
“Any bloke who's dumped by a female who doesn't think he gets a message out of a film about a plastic doll is well out of the relationship!” Phil Mon4
“Expecting a bloke to waste good money on buying something pink to wear on a cinema trip is also a good ‘bale out now, mate,' message.” Jesper R. Cane
“Good luck to Brum City FC now that 12 Brady, Mr. Deflategate ex of the NFL, has arrived to put ‘human sustainability' before scoring goals & building a successful football team.” Stae Yin
“Being kept on the sidelines for 4 matches at the start of a season for cheating was not something the Boy Beckham ever did.” E. Mergent
“There's probably no hope for football as long as the 3rd Division is called the 1st Division ‘coz the 1st & 2nd Divisions have fancy names.” Draw Pankor
Both ends covered with an each-way bet
The Xperts would have us believe that lounging about doing nothing during a plague lock-in—other than messing about with phones & tablets—accelerates puberty in girls.
Either that, or locked-in parents pay more attention to their kids and spot the arrival of puberty earlier than they would have in normal times, and there is no actual change in its arrival.
 Extra, Extra!
++ FBI gets tough ++ Man shot dead in Salt Lake City just for advocating Xtinction of Creaky Joe & his deputy, Kamel A. Harrisment ++ No one safe in Untied States no more ++
  Think of a number
There is a vast amount of BS being printed 'coz Mhegan the Muciloid is now 42 and that's supposed to be a number of mystic significance, like 7.
Shame that we'll be in for even more cascades of BS next year as 43 has the added cachet of being a prime number and a less-trampled commodity.
“Did MtM's minions try to blag 42 free birthday cakes? Or has that been hushed up?” Bashtal Verize
The notoriously toothless Financial Conduct Authority is threatening to ask banks for full disclosure of the numbers of people they have Faraged. The banksters must be trembling in their overpriced trainers at the very thought!
Q: Is it a recommendation to claim that Travellers are 'uman beanz?
A: Given the breadth of depravity included in the definition, not really.
Q: Is that artificially notorious migrant barge a great holiday haunt or a fire hazard?
A: Only the evil left will tell you it's a fire hazard as part of their general anti-Britisch agenda.
Q: Drut?
A: A backward turd. This tag seems to be gaining increasing popularity on some auntie-social meeja sites, and directed mainly @ the terminally wonk.
Not Fair! Not Fair!
Putridstan is outraged by Ukraine's use of bomb boats with a petrol engine to attack Putinstani warships in the Black Sea. Putinstan is insisting that only attack boats with an electric engine may be used in the interests of preventing gorbal warmage.
A rule which applies only to Putridstan's many enemies, of course, not to the druts in the Poisoner's employ.
If the Tories bring about their own defeat in the next election by being useless, and Labour gets a chance to show what true uselessness is all about, is it likely that the Tories will join in the election 5 years on knowing that nothing works and it can't be fixed 'coz Labour has left everything FUBB and a Tory government would be on a slagging to nothing?
Will they be desperate enuff to crawl on to the gravy train, no matter how far down in the pecking order they end up?
Alzheimer's researchers have used a computer game to find that men are better navigators than women. Men are also better than women @ overestimating how good they are at finding their way.
“Another giant stride made—at vast expense to someone, no doubt.” Moll Esworth
The EFU's 'uman rights laws are being used to prevent people-smugglers from being arrested and extradited for trial in the country where they committed their offences. And to shove more cash into the pockets of the legal trade, of course.
 Sheeesh!
Freda Izzard is hoping that the Labour party in Brighton will be daft enuff to offer a bloke in a frock as their candidate in the next general election.
It has been suggested that he picked somewhere with a high population of retired folk in the hope that their eyesight would not be up to the task getting a close look at him.
Rail strike confecter Muck Lunch has only just noticed that Bier Smarmer & his Chancellor wannabe, Reeves, are robotic & lacking in personality. Which just shows what a self-absorbed HUTAgonian Lunch is if he didn't notice the defect earlier.
 NHS strikers are on target for growing
waiting lists to 8 million customers
before the end of the summer
"First, do all the harm you can manage."
“Another long weekend for the Jr.Dox. Show up on picket line until the BierBC cameras have been round then orf to spend 4 days mumping about how badly they're being treated on the golf course, @ a spa or whatever.” Brine Cage
 The Labour party is working hard to make the UK a cess pit which won't attract illegals. The legal trade is in despair at the prospect of losing most of its income.
Winchester council (Trivial) has joined the list of cynics who are using fake concerns over air quality to ramp up parking charges massively. Regular visitors to the city's cathedral are not amused.
Predictably, Sadgeek K'han't's UseLEZ scrappage grant scam has been Xposed as 'cosmetic & of little use to Londoners'. Which is a description frequently applied to the cosmetic mayor.
Sacked Pakistani PM I. K'han't is getting free board & lodging from the state @ a maximum security gaol as his reward for corruption & entitlement.
The University of Sussex has gone stoopidly woke—one to be avoided now by all serious staff & students.
 The ludicrous left is replaying all of the idiocy it can dig out of the worst ludicrosities of the 1980s.
 The EFU is claiming a new world record sea temperature using satellite measurements. One tiny snag—the temperature being claimed is just 0.01 deg.C higher than the previous record, claimed in 2016, and well within the error limits of the measurement process.
Another blow to the EFU confecters is that current sea temperatures are being raised by the El Niño effect in the eastern Pacific, as in 2016, and the 'uman race cannot be blamed and stuck with some bogus financial penalty or other.
The UK is getting a heatwave this week, Weather Control has announced. But only on Thursday of this week and only in the South of England. The weekend will be crap, like most of the rest of the month.
 Something to cheer us up
A legitimate human flesh market is being brought one step closer by a scam to grow bovine steaks in laboratories and pretend that they are planet-saving and worth a stonking premium in shops.
The product is Xpected to provide 25% of global meat consumption by 2035. Or so the promoters of the scheme would have us believe.
 Everyone with brains on holiday?
++ Major fukup by the management of Northern Ireland Police Service ++ Details of all serving officers dumped on website for several hours ++ No one to be sacked ++
++ Major fukup by the Electoral Commission ++ Russian hackers allowed to trawl through electoral register details undetected for 14 months ++ No one to be sacked ++
Fortune tellers, clairvoyants, etc. are in danger of being replaced by A.I.s, which can do a much more thorough job of hoovering up data to be used to bamboozle mugs.
 Vulture wings flapping!
Justice Sec. L. Anderson tells the illegals who think they're too good for a place on a holiday home barge to fuck off back to France. Legal trade vultures, who are making money out of the boguses, go bananas.
But no doubt the exercise they get from getting off their fat arses and jumping up and down will do them a bit of good. And they'll find a way of billing their clients; and/or the taxpayer; for it.
If anyone was wondering if Diane ‘Abacus' Abbott is as thick as 3 short planks, wonder no more. Her latest migration rant proves it's more like 4 planks.
Esso petrol 145.9p/litre.
Esso diesel 151.9p/litre.
The rip is now way beyond outrageous.
Terrorist groups are yelling "FOUL!!" after MI5 revealed that it is using A.I. to spot & monitor them. A spokes for the National Association of Vexatious Killers insisted that terrorists are 'uman beans and it is their 'uman bluddy right to be tracked by other 'umans, not soulless machines which are much cleverer than 'umans.
 TNF: The Blue Bombers in Edmonton
A 65-yard TD sprint by Brown in the first minute? Are you kidding me!!! 7-0. After a rouge from a punt, the Antlers added another TD after 13 minutes! 0-15. Collards was struggling early in Q2, he lobbed a foolish pass, pick-6 for Purifoy. 0-22. The BB manage a TD after 11 minutes and a FG in the last minute, 10-22.
A monster pass play by the Ants in Q3 was wiped out by a fumble. The BB went to a TD after 10 minutes. 70 yards to a TD for Moore from a pick, 17-29. The BB charged the end zone in the last minute of the quarter, TD, 24-29. Lawler one-handed in the end zone 2 minutes in to Q4, 31-29. TD Olivera in the 12th minute, 38-29. Groan.
 Q: Is it surprising that a boss @ HSBC thinks the UK should be in China's pocket & not banning the plague confecters from access to our advanced technology infrastructure, especially communications?
A: Not if you remember which country Hong Kong & Shanghai are in. And also that 'BC' has stood for 'Bank for Criminals' in the past.
Have you been a victim of Woke Madness?
Do you want to strike a blow for decency?
Give us the goods and we will shower retribution where it belongs
Woke Waxers of Romiley, 32a Riverside Drive
 Labour's deputy leader, Angular Robot, is on the side of dodgy solicitors who are milking the asylum system. Presumably following the Labour logic that any illegals who get to stay on bogus grounds will vote Labour and not Tory.
 The latest yarn from the ludicrous left is that illegals who sneak across the Channel in a small boat get PTSD and they deserve free accommodation & a bundle to taxpayers' cash.
“Does this mean that the illegals can't take a bath or a shower any more 'coz they're waterphobic?” Ritor Molotov
“Should make the buggers easy to spot. Cor, where's that 'orrible pong coming from!” Ither Yin
1. There is a world of difference between being afraid of transpicaters (i.e. actually being transphobic) and just not being even slightly interested in their antics.
2. Heating homes with electric heat pumps is never going to happen, the Xperts are warning. The pumps themselves and the electricity to run them are unaffordable and the electricity gird could never meet the added demand, especially with millions of electric vehicles demanding power. And all the compenbloodysation claims to come from pedestrians, who will trip over cables from roadside chargers to EVs and damaged themselves.
FNF: the RoughRiders in Montreal
The Alouettes took their opener to a short-range TD for QB Evans. A long FG from Lauther in the 12th minute from the Riders' second drive, 3-7. A huge run by Fletcher in Q2 set up another barge-in TD for Evans, 3-15. A pick by the Als in the 12th minute put them close, but Evans was picked off in the end zone! The Als came back with a FG from Cote, 3-17.
Evans to Mack from midfield, TD!! 2 minutes in to Q3. 56 yards. 3-24. Another TD for the Als after 13 minutes, 3-31. Lauther with a 44 yarder to start Q4, 6-31. A mugging by the Als gave them a defensive TD, 6-38. The Riders failed to make a 3rd & goal from the MA 1 but a penalty gave them another shot in the 10th minute. TD, no +2, 12-38. A FG from the Als with a minute left put the lid on it @ 12-41.
 “If the best the ‘uman race can manage is snoflake cancellers, we should be hauling every c.c. of oil & gas we can out of the ground & burning it recklessly. And coal. Hurry On Sundown (with a nod in the direction of Hawkwind) on this sorry crew.” A.L.M.
 Messing about with someone else's pocket phone could be a very bad idea. Why? ‘Coz the Xperts have found that large numbers of addicts mess about with their phone during a toilet break and it could be contaminated with all sorts of nasty bum bacteria. Worse, the phone could also have been dropped into the bowl & retrieved.
| Jr.Dox are doing the NHS a big favour
They're cutting its waiting lists.
Untreated customers will croak & no longer be
embarrassing clutter on those lists. | |
“The Cannibal Special—Dandelion & Jr.Doc!” Guy Lenhall
 Blaggerdocio on steroids
Will Wee Sterney Burgeon have to repay out of the proceeds from her memoirs, which are due out in 2025, the £14 million blagged off the taxpayer to blown on SNP undeserved travel upgrades & lipstick & other frivolities?
We should be told.
Q: Bier Smarmer has called the Just Stoppers contemptible. Is that because their paymaster gave the Labour party a mere, lousy £1.5 million out of his £30 billion green bungs?
A: There does appear to be a HUGE gratitude deficiency.
Q: What is a ‘transgender woman'?
A: Logically, a woman claiming to be a bloke.
Q: Why is it called Disney?
A: Because the present management disnae hae 2 brain calls to rub thegither.
SatNF: The Stampeders in Vancouver
Adams to a wide-open receiver, TD for the Lions from their opener. A FG from their next effort, 0-10. Another TD pass to the end zone in the 13th minute, 0-17. The Stamps drove into Q2, to a FG and 3-17. One for the Lions after 3 minutes, 3-20. Another big bomb to Hatcher, but Awe stopped the Lions with a pick in the 13th minute. The Stamps had a punt try blocked, Lions from the CS 6, another TD, 3-27. The CS closed the half with a FG, 6-27.
All defence in Q3 until the Stamps closed it with a FG, 9-27. Adams to Whitehead in the end zone in Q4, 9-34 in the 4th minute. A new QB for the Stamps was picked off right away, just a FG for BC from it, 9-37 and that's how it ended.
Will they dare do it?
Illegals who refuse a berth on a luxury barge will have the hand stuffed into the public purse chopped off. Especially those whose bent brief has confected a water-phobia claim.
They will be declared homeless, evicted from their tax-payer funded hotel and left to the tender mercies of the nation's local authorities.
The barge protest industry has cost the local economy in the Weymouth area half a million quid by putting off potential visitors & cruise ships.
“Booting barge refusenics out of their taxpayer-funded hotel room sounds like an excellent way of putting them in touch with reality.” Halfin Putin
The Yanks are getting the credit for kyboshing the daft idea of flying illegals to Ascension Island. The US military doesn't want that sort of person poking around its military installations there.
Financial Fiction
A single pensioner needs £37,300 per year for a comfortable retirement, according to the trade. Which is only about 30 grand more than the Osborne swindle old state pension.
Is that the grabbers of the pension trade bulking up their case and the government being mean? Probably both.
Today’s Question:
Which smarmy politician was branded a mealy-mouthed mugwump?
 Disaster Looms
The costa living crisis is coming to an end, an Xpert is claiming. Which means that the customers will have to come up with another Xcuse for their usual habitual to make ends meet. Unless they're prepared to admit they're incompetent. Which is as likely as politicians, etc., ditching lies & whinges and telling the truth.
"An utter human tragedy," said Nicro Binbag, the BierBC disaster correspondent [right, even though he's thoroughly ludicrous left]
The Jr.Dox' trade union bosses were happy to do a deal with the SNP in Scotland; where they are paid less than in England; but they are happy to refuse to do the same here ‘coz the Tories are in government, no matter how many people they kill.
The NHS is now going out of its way to accommodate part-time transpicaters for no apparent reason.
[Ones who swap sex occasionally rather than permanently Ed.]
“One does get the feeling that if the NHS were to get rid of all the space- and resource-wasters, it would cost about 3p per week to run.” Chris Kross
Today’s Scam Call:
came from 02037 407 103, a notorious nest of phone spammers. Luckily, we missed it.
Can’t be caught out? Cheat!
The snivel service is using a cute trick to get around pay freezes. Useless waxworks on a fancy salary already are getting an undeserved promotion to let them shove a fist even deeper into the taxpayer's pocket.
Worse, there's no sign of the government shedding the surplus bodies acquired to pretend to do something about the Chinese plague when it was at its worst.
Sherie On Message
“What we really need is Net Zero bollocks from politicians, lawyers & trade unions. Shame we're in no danger of getting it.” Al Subside
“Let's face it, the Law Society, like the BMA, is just another trade union & willing to turn a blind eye to the crimes of its members as long as they keep paying their membership dues & keeping the officers in the fancy style they crave.” S.A. Moxie
 “Truth, schmeuth & justice, schmustice.” Anton du Bious
“If a boss of the legal trade union feels obliged to declare that a majority of lawyers do not oppose the rule of law, that's an open admission that he accepts that a significant minority does but he can't be not bovvered by this dire situation if the bad guys or gals or nons are not rooted out and Xpelled.” Ancho Vee
“It is no surprise that the lawyers will be on the lamp posts with the politicians & trade union leaders come the revolution. The only concern is that there will not be enuff lamp posts. Maybe we should start demanding more of them before it's too late!” Anim O'sity
SunNF: The RedBlacks in T’ronno
First score for the RBs, a FG in the 4th minute. They did better with their third possession; Evans fired a 55-yard TD pass to Acklin, 10-0. That woke the Argos up, Daniels with a TD after 12 minutes, 10-7.
The Argos were back again a couple of minutes into Q2, Kelly 60 yards to Daniels for a TD, 10-14. The RBs retook the lead with a TD in the 9th minute, 17-14. One back for the Argos, 17-21. A penalty left the Argos with a 1st & 25. The pass was picked for a defensive TD! 24-21. The Argos were back with a Charge! in the last minute, 24-28.
Leake took his time about picking up a punt after 3 minutes of Q3, then returned it for a TD! The PAT missed, 24-34. A TD for the RBs in the 9th minute, 31-34. The Argos got to & goal but were kept out on 3 downs.
2 & punt by the RBs and the Argos came straight back and scored this time, Daniels again, 31-40, the PAT was botched but they got a single from the kick off. Q4 was all defence until the Argos added a FG in the last minute, 31-44 final. Worra match!
 Tell ’em anything; the suckers might just swallow it
The UN's ludicrous 'world on fire' message doesn't really impress those people who are old enuff to have been told they were living in the shadow of The Bomb in the mid-20th century, which was just another silly scare if they're still around to tell the tale.
OPINION
Every A&E department should be provided with a deep, dark hole into which drunks can be dropped to prevent them from getting in the way of treating people with a genuine ailment. When there are any Dox around, of course.
 Inspiration Deficit
The Labour party is facing an election candidate crisis. After all, what could top Freda Blizzard, a bloke in a frock, and the Greanpeaser who's trying it on in mid-Bedfordshire whilst identifying as a zombie?
Characters like that are making the established Labour loonies, such as Edstone Milipede, look almost sane!
 Could be worse, but not much
An Xpert on the legal trade has done a probe and concluded that only a small minority of the sharks are criminals. But the BGs are encouraged to think of themselves as entitled & invulnerable by the attitudes of the vast majority in their trade.
Although too chicken to risk Xposure and disgrace, the rest are happy to yell ludicrously leftly to get noticed, egged on by meeja moochers of the same ilk, e.g. the ancient Nikro Binbag (right), who appears to have been granted a licence by the BierBC to make up bogus quotations by government ministers.
A licence to be foolish
The local cosmetic mayor is demanding that the Crooked House, formerly Britain's wonkiest pub, should be rebuilt brick by brick after it was wrecked by a fire and demolished.
One small problem. [irritating music]
Souvenir hunters have been snaffling the bricks & Mr. Mayor will be lucky if he can get the 2-storey pub rebuilt to the level of the ground floor window sills.
Still, it can always be rebranded as Britain's smallest pub.
 A licence to be downright doshan
The management of the museum housing the artefacts recovered from the wreck of Henry VIII's ship the Mary Rose is attracting buckets of derision by pretending that a sailor's nit comb, a mirror and a ring prove that there were sexual deviants in the crew.
Q: Why do black holes spin?
A: There's not a lot else you can do to amuse yourself @ the depths of a void.
Today’s Xhortation
Footballers! Get off yer bluddy knees! Stop posturing and ger on with what you're overpaid to do; playing footie.
No one is at fault, of course
That migrant barge has been put out of action by Legionella bacteria in the water supply, which raises a lot of questions, starting with:
1. Why weren't the tests done ages ago and why haven't the sdrut who failed to get the tests done been sacked?
2. Were the tests originally negative and they're positive now because of deliberate sabotage by the evil left?
We should be told and heads should roll.
Same sorry shower, same outcome
New bloody labour left the nation's coffers empty thanks to the efforts of Gordon F. Broon and his tax & waste antics, which came to a halt in 2010. Labour-run Wales has done even better in 2023. Its £20 BILLION budget contains a £1 BILLION Broon Hole and NHS customers are having to sneak over the border to England to get treatment.
 “Just shows how bright our neighbours in Wales are if they keep a useless Labour gang like the present crew in office. Maybe they should adjust the Barnett Formula to take account of the natural intelligence, or lack of it, of the recipients and give English taxpayers the break that they so richly deserve.” Sy Dwinder
“Socialism works only for as long as there are mugs around to pay all the bills.” X. Planation
“We should definitely be living in fear & trembling if Bier Smarmer sees the catastrophe that is the Welsh NHS as a blueprint for what Labour would do to the NHS in England.” Marty Nez
In the Doshan Ditch
The Magistrates' Association has gone woke, suggesting that failing to keep this job Xclusively for 60ish men in their right mind, and going for all the usual diversity bollocks, has been an utter catastrophe.
Eton school, sadly, has a head teacher who is hopelessly woke, which will destroy the credibility of all of its inmates when they become outmates.
“Maybe Marsman Musk should open an Elon School here to show the wonks how meaningful education should be delivered.” Cease Hawes
Reward for Failure
Wee Burney Sturgeon Xpects to be paid £1 MILLION for her book. Which leaves her £13 MILLION short of repaying the cash which the SNP blew on frivolities like lipstick when she was in charge.
“How much is the ghost getting? We should be told” Mickel Muckle
“The Really Big Question is how much of her memory has returned. She spent most of her time in front of the inquiry into how her government tackled the investigation of sexual harassment charges against Alex Salmonella saying, 'I can't remember.' It's not going to be much of a book if that's all she can offer.” Barr Rumbug
Fake meat is dreadful, is the opinion of consumers. Worse, the price is a disgusting rip-off—300% or more greater than that of proper food.
"Protein transition" is never going to happen, to the annoyance of control freak veggies & veganists if the alternative on offer is unpalatable. Especially if the alternatives contain more e-numbers than you shake a stick at.
“The tech giant Mike Roesoft has ‘invested' millions in junk foods and he Xpects meat-eating to have stopped by 2050. Shame he's not going to live that long and be Xposed as humiliatingly wrong.” Ben Doon,
Q: Transpicater?
A: Rarely a transister or transbro. They are in vanishingly small numbers. Generally someone embracing a cause that allows them to be outraged half a dozen times per day. Or even more.
Q: Celebrate diversity?
A: If something is worthy of celebration, that will occur spontaneously. If it has to be forced on an unwilling/uninterested majority by waste-of-money public servants, lawyers & control freaks with a cause, the result will be cynicism & derision.
 The government is worried about hackers & other criminals using A.I.s and sees no point in unlevelling the playing field by not using them itself. Even though this upsets the ludicrous left, terrorists & public order criminals.
Today’s Edict:
Nobody who crosses the Channel and lands here without invitation should be allowed to stay if they don't bring a house with them.
There has to be a limit to what the poor old customers will swallow? Apparently not!
[irritating music]
The SNP is doing its best to make everything a hate crime and if the Useless Humbug & his crew get their way, everyone will end up in gaol. After the English have coughed up the cash to build more of them, of course.
Bonce-bonker!
The Indian government takes a very pragmatic view of employee safety @ work. The minions tasked with helping the development of infrastructure in their local area in the south of the country are housed in a building with collapsible ceilings. So they have been issued with motorbike crash helmets to wear when sitting at their computer work stations.
Where’s the ’uman eye?
The rogue apostrophizer of the Daily Disaster strikes again. Superyacht became supery- acht memorably across a line break in April of 2022.
Has this been topped by rightsholder becoming right- sholder @ another line break this month?
The jury is out, deliberating.
Q: How do seagulls know that a field has been ploughed?
A: Looking at it would give them a pretty good clue.
Sherie Does A RoundUp
“Return of the TIG? A TIG returned is a GIT. Is there a message there?” Argon Export
“The pronoun ‘they' is inclusive of ‘he' but not of the whole of ‘her'. Where's the inclusivity in that?” Vel Ikovskiy
“Is it illegal to have a phobia? Acrophobia, agoraphobia, arachnophobia, etc.? If so, why is transphobia a licence for someone to be the target of unlimited hate crimes?” Flynn Vanish
“It's an obvious abuse of concept by dangerous hate criminals, who are allowed to get away with it mainly through the evil left's universal licence to get away with it. They can't be bothered to come up with a word which separates indifference from fear.” Tackyer Thyme
“Most of the hostility seems to be due to people who are incapable of doing useful work being paid a fancy salary out of the public purse instead of being required to dig ditches to support themself.” Tuff Customer
“Fake meat, we were told yesterday, tastes like burnt dog food, a pundit reckons. But how does the person concerned know what that tastes like? A personal dietary perversion?” Coada Varms
Retribution non-existent
We hear a lot of whinges about artificial intelligence but could it be that most of them are based on A.I.s showing up lack of it in 'umans?
For example, the characters who failed to spot that they had uploaded details of name, address, date of birth, etc. of all Cumbria police personnel to the force's website.
As with the mob in Northern Ireland, no sackings are Xpected.
Norfolk & Suffolk Constabulary has also been throwing data around carelessly. No sackings anticipated.
 Hippocrisy by the bucketful
13 of the 24 Russell Group top universities have blown at least £32 MILLION on flying bods around the country & the world, despite claiming to be leaders in the fight against climate change.
[Whether or not we'd prefer things to be warmer is not something that concerns them. Ed.]
The actual Xpenditure has been estimated @ £69.7 MILLION for the entire group.
How is dumping megatons more carbon dioxide into the atmosphere going to promote the global cooling they claim they can deliver?
Silence.
 Cut off at the knees
Attacking Ukraine has deprived Putinstan of the Western tech it needed to add a rover to its Luna-25 mission to the south pole of the Moon.
The lander is Xpected to touch down this later month—at about the same time as one launched from India in July using some of the cash which our stoopid government insists on handing over to fund the Indian space programme.
1. How entitled is greanpeas? Entitled enuff to Xpect more free lunches on the taxpayer and unlimited access to the government's circles despite kicking half the slates off the PM's Yorkshire residence.
2. Will the police ever learn the difference between complying with legitimate freedom of information and taking dangerous liberties with sensitive employee information? The current outbreak of leaks with no sackings suggests not.
“greanpeas—that's the outfit that scared the Germans into closing down their nuclear power stations in case they got hit by a tsunami, like the power station in Fukushima, Japan, where everyone who died was killed by the flooding, not radiation.” Ban Krobber
“Right. And presumably greanpeas is okay with the Germans building 20 coal-fired power stations to keep the lights on as they are producing healthy, green carbon dioxide, which doesn't cause gorbal warmage.” Soup Lex
 Politics first, the job second
Sugar Ray, the outed Smarmer crony, is now being positioned as an evil foot-dragger who prevented the failures of the Welsh NHS from being Xposed when she was in charge of the Cabinet Office to avoid embarrassing Labour with yet more examples of its innate ineptitude.
We are also being told that she had to be pretty well bludgeoned into arranging a deal for data sharing between devolved Wales & the national government, which puts a whole new slant on the 'servant' part of civil servant.
Wot a rotter!
Whatever happened to dignity & decorum?
How desperate for notice can a former US president get? B. O'Bummer is having to do a pan-sexual weirdo with homosexual fantasies act to get a write-up in the meeja.
Wot next?
TNF: The Edmonton Antlers In Hamilton
Under threatening skies, we got lots of defence to start. Under sack pressure, Ford fired a TD pass to ex-TiCat Dunbar after 14 minutes. The Cats opened Q2 with a TD but no PAT, 7-6. Cornelius reached over the bunch for a TD after 5 minutes, 14-6. Another TD for Dunbar after 8 minutes, 21-6. A FG for the Cats closed the half, 21-9.
A FG try by the Cats 11 minutes in to Q3 was a bad miss. Another miss early in Q4 got the Cats a single and a chorus from the Boo-Birds, 21-10. The Ants kicked a FG after 7 minutes, 24-10. More sacks on Powell, the Ants held on for their first win of the season in Week 11. Yay!
 London's loose cannon cosmetic mayor is getting the blame for Bier Smarmer's flagship policy of spreading UseLEZ zones across the country having to be quietly binned as a guaranteed vote-loser. Virtue points gained, time to move on, hope no one noticed the U-ey.
“Alternatively, we're being told by some parts of the Labour party that clean air is a Tory policy. Which means that everyone having to have dirty air has to be Labour policy.” Rhea Life
 “Three months ago, back in May, Smarmer & our local cosmetic mayor, Jonah Burnham, were in competition with each other to be the biggest UseLEZ clot. Smarmer's programmers have realized it's a vote loser and he's now trying to do a 'never not me, guv'.
“Jonah, whose every move is towards the next catastrophe, ain't bovvered about the damage. All he can see is the cash.” Palin D. Rome
What they do
Are we surprised that ditched UK PM t.b. liar's minions kept working for the Saudi prince who had the journalist J. Kashoggi slaughtered & butchered @ a consulate in Turkey?
Surprised by the actions of the minions of the bloke wot lied his head off to confect a reason to attack Iraq? Joke.
You get the impression that the Met Office bods are scaring themselves witless with all the blue with yellow flashes that they confect for their weather maps to the Xtent that they are out of touch with reality.
"Storm Betty" was just a brief bit of rain here, not some deadly tempest.
“Was that bit of rain last night Storm Bett-i or Storm Bett-1? We should be told.” Nas Drovyear
 Off-world focus
Marsman X. Musk is being accused of chickening out of a cage brawl with Fakebuk guy M. Metaberg @ the Colosseum in Rome.
But if he's hoping to get his Mars colony up & running in 2024, Mr. Musk has to have other priorities.
  Eyes wide open
The Fisheries Protection Service is having to maintain Xtra surveillance on the areas in which Xtremely valuable bluefin tuna can now be caught around the UK. Invaders from the Far East raw fish trade are Xpected in view of the amounts of money that can be made.
FNF: the Blue Bombers in chilly Calgary
Punt by the stamps, FG by the Bombers. One for the Stamps after 12 minutes, 3-all. Another with a minute left, 3-6. The BB were held to a FG 3 minutes in to Q2, 6-all. A 45 yard try by Paredes hit the upright, nowt for the Stamps. Lots of punting in the last couple of minutes.
Paredes again in the 6th minute of Q3, 6-9. A promising drive blew up, FG, 6-12. The BB were sacked to a FG in the last minute of the quarter, 9-12. Bang! a pick-6 with 0.00 on the clock, 16-12. Paredes in the 5th minute of Q4, 16-15. One for the Bombers after 8 minute, 19-15. Paredes in the 11th minute, 19-18 but his 50-yard try for the lead in the 14th minute was short. The Bombers roll on victorious.
 The DoomBuggers would have us believe that Putrid's insane invasion of Ukraine proves that he is desperate for an Xcuse to push the nuclear button and wipe out all life on The Planet.
Which puts UseLEZ, the Just Stoppers and the likes of greanpeas & transpicaters in their proper perspective.
“How long would it take the cancellers to get on the case of a reincarnation of the late Michael Parkinson? More than 3 seconds?” Al Bieria
The nicest BIG earner in legal history has come to an end after 10 months with the conviction of the nurse L. Letby on multiple counts of infant murder @ the hospital where she worked.
No danger of any of the managers who rallied round to protect her & let her carry on killing being sacked.
Oh, Joy!
We're in for a plague of vexatious trouble-makers in the fairly near future, the Xperts are warning. Sociology degrees are coming back into fashion as activist wannabes see them as a way of finding out how to push society's buttons and cause the maximum amount of trouble over something trivial with minimal effort.
 “Plaisir de cochon!”
The lunatics running the Notional ‘Elf Service are blaming colonialism for dividing the population into male & female genders.
This is their Xcuse for the present mish-mash of directives to staff, which include a claim that blokes done up as transisters can pretend to be legsbians, if they feel the need for a bit of Xtra attention.
It’s the norm, not something different
University strikes are preventing students from graduating, drop-out rates are soaring, as is student debt, and their customer service rating is generally lousy.
What other business would treat so many of their customers so badly? the Daily Disaster asked.
How about banks, water companies, energy companies, the NHS, etc., etc.
President Trump has irrefutable proof of fraud in Georgia during the last presidential election. He wasn't engaged in a criminal enterprise there, the Democraps were!
More shrinkflation—Colgate toothpaste down from 100 ml in a tube to 75 ml with no price reduction.
Are we surprised that Irish terrorists have the personal details so carelessly hurled around by the minions of the Northern Ireland police? Of course not. Public sector, so SNAFU.
Is Creaky Joe going to end up in gaol for refusing to disclose self-confessed druggie Hapless Hairy's visa application details, putting himself in contempt of the same court system, which his administration is abusing to get President Trump?
++ Edinburgh Festival Fringe loses credibility ++ No Jokes Not Woke ++ Just a tedious procession of evil left views now ++
The Notional Health Service has been warned to keep politics, especially gender politics, out of medicine. No bugger is Xpected to take any notice unless severe sanctions are put in place.
“A substantial stone wall needs to be built between patients & politics to protect the patients from fanatics & cynics with their hand out for other people's dosh.” Denny Zen
Standing up to tyranny
Gardening centres & shops in Greater London are running short of long-handled tree trimmers. Protesters against the Sad Geek's UseLEZ scam are snapping them up to chop through cables on his spy cameras and frustrate his evil intrusions into customers' pockets..
A spokes for Transport for London (right) announced that all the incidents are reported to the police so that the Met can take the responsibility for ignoring them.
SatNF: the Albertines in the beautiful nation’s capital
Not raining and, to confuse us, the Alouettes were in red, not blue, and the RedBlacks in white. Sacks to start. The Als reached the RB 18, only to see a pick returned to their 21. Goal line scramble, TD for the RedBlacks to close the quarter. The Als were held to a FG 5 minutes in to Q2, 3-7. A fumble by Evans went to the RBs, on to a TD, 3-14. Ward with a FG in the last minute, 3-17. Time enuff for another pick.
The Als collected a fumble early in Q3, TD pass by the much sacked Evans, 10-17. All defence to Q4. The RBs reached the MA 13 after 5 minutes, TD sprint by QB Crum, 10-24. Cote booted a 50-yarder, 13-24. The Als reached the RB 20, a second TD for Sneed, no +2, 19-24. 3rd & goal @ the RB 2 for the Als in the last minute. Evans to the end zone, no +2, 25-24, 14 seconds left. A pick stopped the RBs. No lead is safe in the CFL!
 Correction: "Sir Bier Smarmer changes his mind as often as he breaks wind" has been described as an error in transcription.
 Time saver:
There is no need to ask Bier Smarmer what he thinks about anything this week as he does a U-ey back to last week's opinion next week as a rolling pattern. Unless he needs to come up with something even more contradictory for a particular audience.
The Just Stoppers are getting the blame for putting the glue on the fence to which Creapy Steamer is stuck on every ishue imaginable.
[doleful music]
The miracle fat-loss drug semagutide has become a busted flush. Celeb endorsements have resulted in supplies being hoovered up & plans to let NHS GPs here prescribe it are on the scrap heap as production can't get close to demand.
 The latest guessing game is how many of the 2.5 million people who are supposed to be incapable of work here are actually swinging the lead on benefits.
Benevolent Entities
There is a feeling that universities which hoover up foreign students for the Xtra dosh on offer are doing Britisch students a favour. How? By sparing them a huge student debt on the way to a dodgy degree from an establishment that's hopelessly woke.
How can messages Xchanged by 6 former Met coppers online in a closed group possibly be grossly rachelly offensive? Clearly, the 6 men weren't offended by the messages, and if no one else saw them, no one at all was offended. Which makes the charges confected against them BS.
“An alleged legsbian with a beard is obviously taking the piss. Quite blatantly, in fact. And yet the social engineers see nothing wrong with this.” U. Slagatha
 Lioness Letdown
Just one goal in the femme football final in Australia and the Spanish scored it.
“Too much Britisch politeness. 'After you, Carlotta.' Groan.” Hilla Beenz
 Quick, get the news censor on the job!
Putrid the Poisoner is getting the blame for the failure of Putinstan's first Moon mission for 5 decades. His obsession with conquering Ukraine denied his space agency access to the tech it needed to achieve a soft landing on our major satellite.
Crunch! Zillions of roubles down the plughole, zero data on how much frozen water is available at the Moon's south pole.
Which leaves the field clear for the Indian Moon-probe, which was launched toward the same area in July using funding from the over-generous British Overseas Aid bottomless pit.
Humbleperson, she ain’t!
There's a female academic called Proudman, who makes a living out of yelling about gender inequality.
What does it tell you about her that she keeps hold of that name? Another of the gang busting a gut to be offended? Or a really nice woman being razzed by the wise guys here?**
“Is someone yelling at her to get off the grass @ a Cambridge college really worth a half-page article? Depends how desperate you are to pad out the adverts, I guess.” Nik Binliner
“It certainly tells you how seriously to take her professional whinges. Or not.” Buß Tergut
“Good name for a transbro—Proudman!” Kay Yoss
** Proudperson has been outed as an entitled victimhood & attention seeker, and she deserves all the slagging she gets.
Vote Smarmer Labour, get another dose of warmonger tony b. liar, as he has the characterless current Labour leader in his pocket.
Q: What do you get if you go on a canoe Xpedition up the Amazon?
A: Shot up by Peruvian pirates.
 What the Notional ‘Elf Service needs is to be clobbered by a Task Force, which has a mandate to do a hit-squad trawl through the management to weed out the ones doing irrelevant social engineering, the financial incompetents and other space-wasters, and redirect the cash toward treating customers instead of image-polishing for the benefit of overpaid waxworks.
SunNF: the BC Lions in cloudy Regina
2 & fumble, RoughRiders' ball! What a start! TD for Shaker Baker. Almost a TD for the Lions after 8 minute, they scored with a FG with 4 minutes left, 3-7. Crunching D by the Riders but a bomb pass, Adams to Hollins, put BC ahead 10-7 in Q2. The Riders answered with a TD, 10-14. Another fumble to the Riders, another TD, 10-21. Lauther squeaked a 53 yard FG with a minute left. One for the Lions to close the half at 13-24.
An amazing wild pass & catch gave the Riders another TD in the 11th minute of Q3, 13-31. One for BC after 5 minutes of Q4, 20-31. TD for Lucky Whitehead, no +2, 26-31, 6 minutes left. A FG with 2 minutes left got the Lions to 29-31. The Lions had another try but they were sacked to a standstill in RR field goal range. 29-34 final.
We have to ask ourselves if Prince Wills is looking forward to being the King of Australia or whether he'd rather the Republicans there have their way before he moves up to the top job & spare him the need to trail half-way round the world for PR visits.
“When are the Egyptians, the Romans and all the others who built an empire going to be forced to decolonize? Or is this sort of time-wasting unique to Britain?” Onya Bike
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Q: Will the Lionesses get back here to find that their passports have been cancelled and their entry rights have mysteriously evaporated?
A: Mind boggling, please hold.
Getting rid of some meaningless cancer targets to improve things for customers is considered to be a Good Thing by health chiefs. The burrocraps who push paper pointlessly, however, are up in arms over the changes.
They are particularly upset that the new targets were agreed by clinical Xperts & cancer charities and not knocked up by PPPs.
Oh, Canada (sadly), our home and native land . . .
A bloke pretending he's a woman can ‘smash' female weight-lifting records in Canada? That Trudeau tosser has one Hell of a lot to answer for if this sort of thing is allowed to pass unchallenged.
No need for mutilation surgery. Just say: "Today, I'm a femme!", hoover up the prizes & become a bloke again when you get back home.
“Is there something in the water that's causing all this universal insanity?” Confey Dent
“It's as much cheating as a grown up joining in an egg & spoon race for 7-year-olds and being allowed to put something sticky on the spoon to stop the egg from falling off.” Jess Turing
The social engineers see creating both public & private sector non-jobs for people who are incapable of doing useful work as a useful income stream, which is boosted by the gratitude of those who get the illusion of doing something useful.
Q: What's a good way to offend your council taxpayers?
A: South Kesteven district council blew £1.8 million on a dozen newbuild houses for refugees. Locals are outraged @ the reduction of their chances to get on the housing ladder but the council claimed the houses will be assigned to refugees from Afghanistan & Ukraine.
Another beef is that legal migrants are getting priority over the council's list of locals in need of housing.
A Quick Flash RoundUp from Sherie
“The raison d'etre for the Edinburgh Fringe has always been to push the boundaries of comedy, etc. If the social saboteurs are allowed to put an end to this with their cancel non-culture, wot's the point of the Fringe?” I.O. Vry
“Inclusion based on selective Xclusion. How twisted is that? No wonder they're called the ludicrous left.” Barr BaaBar
“It's Stafford Hospital all over again in the Letby case. Deferably corporate manslaughter charges for ALL those responsible for not stopping her.” Wiley Minoglue
“Will the hospital waxworks who covered up and let Nurse Letby keep on killing after the whistle was blown face any sanctions? Joke.” Prem Plankton
“In Roman times, they were growing grape vines @ Hadrian's Wall. So what's all the pathetic whingeing about today's climate all about?” X. Clusion
Esso petrol 148.9p/litre.
Esso diesel 151.9p/litre.
The petrol rip is going even further off the charts.
  Bier Smarmer is no longer the nation's universal U-turn bloke. He is now in the W-turn category. Wibble, wobble and all sorts of other words beginning with W. That's pending the creation of something that's even more wobbly as a more accurate description of his permanent indecision.
“And there I was, thinking that symbol stands for 'does my bum look big in this?'” Barry Tone
More of a twatbot?
Analysis of the performance of chatbots has revealed that their programming shows a distinct bias to the looney left. Sensible people, therefore, should not take any notice of them.
Luckily for the hucksters offering chatbot services, people with less than 2 working brain cells, and spare cash, are not in short supply.
Local councils ignoring potholes put 50,000 vehicles off the nation's roads in July as part of their stealth road traffic reduction plans.
Gorbal warmage is being blamed by useless councils for their failures.
“Ms Proudperson, the entitled academic who does lawn posing, reckons she's a Feminarzi, which has to be as lovely as a Putinarzi.” Kalash Nikov
“Almost as bad as a gobnarzi.” Faz Ackeley
A definite decline with time
The descendants of former British PM Wm. Gladstone making slavery payments—what's that all about? The descendants are either iggorant idiots who can't be bothered to read up on our history to find out what their ancestor did or cynical virtue flaggers indulging in the tokenism of a meaningless apology. Either way, they're obvious cancel fodder.
Q: If small, valuable items have been disappearing from insecure British Museum store rooms in large quantities over several years, does that put the Elgin Marbles at risk?
A: You'd need bloody big pockets to make off with marbles of that size. And if you could move with your pockets stuffed, some nosy person would be bound to notice—probably a tourist rather than a member of staff.
Q: So the ‘concerns' of art Xperts are just attention-seeking BS?
A: And cash-seeking, more like.
Q: The Education Sec. says that no one will be interested in someone's A-Level results 10 years on from the event. Her Labour shadow pretends to get the hump about this. What does this say about both women?
A: G. Keegan, the minister, is in touch with the real world. B. Phillipson, the wannabe, is a waxwork & a waste of space.
Another PSNI catastrophe waiting to happen
 Police Scotland is storing sensitive data on people & investigations insecurely & hackably. How? By going along with a scheme introduced by the current First Meenister, Humbug Useless, when he was taking a turn in the Justice Sec. job.
He thought it would be a good idea to offshore the details to the US firm run by Mike Roesoft rather than keep it 100% in the UK, under Britisch control and not liable to be trawled through if US agencies such as the Federal Bureau of Instigation get an urge to be nosy.
It is predicted that the Scottish ferry industry will come to a dead stop in 4-6 years.
Replacements for increasingly unreliable boats are already years late and millions over budget with no delivery date in sight, and crumbling ports face compulsory closure on public safety grounds.
Stay where you are and do it all on the internet, seems to be the message from the Scittish government. If you've got the internet, of course.
 ++ The Bulletproof Man ++ Fawcett the Fence innocent for a third time ++ Met on its knees in despair ++
A consultant on £130K has his back to
the wall? We’re supposed to believe that?
“He's obviously too hard up to pay a press agent to come up with a sound-bite that's even half-way credible.” Phil Tration
 Cities in Putinstan are filling up with dangerous criminals, who were transferred from gaols to the front line in Ukraine, and did a runner rather than become cannon fodder.
A lunar research device, paid for by Britisch taxpayers, has made a successful soft landing @ the Moon's south pole, compounding the misery of the Putinstani lander's devastating crash. Well done, our Indian sub-contractors.
The Vagner boss Prigoshin & his deputy have been Putinized in a fake air crash near Moscovicious.
“Makes a change from a dive out of a 6th-floor hotel window or a dose of poison or something radioactive.” Luke Inglas
Customers, Schmustomers
 BT is being accused of being prepared to let customers die by imposing a digital phone system on rural areas. If there is a power cut, it won't work and rural Scotland has cuts that last for days.
Xisting BT analogue phone lines are ‘always' on as the system has its own 50 Volt supply which is independent of the electricity mains system.
 The latest daft conspiracy theory from a former SNP MP is that the party has been taken over by MI5 and the Britisch state is using Humbug Useless as a helpless puppet.
Following the mention that street crossing times are to be increased to help oldies & the o'bese get across roads undamaged, it has been revealed that the green light for pedestrians will be on for One Whole Second longer!!!!
Alarmist tosh
Does the lowest birth rate for 20 years really cast a cloud over the nation's ability to pay pensions in the future?
No, there will be plenty of cash if the government does something about the GINORMOUS amounts lost to fraud and incompetence, especially in the tax system & the NHS, and we make sure we never ever again have an economy-wrecking Chancellor/PM like Gordon F. Broon.
 Natives definitely not friendly!
If you see a sign in English warning about dangerous jelly fish, falling rocks or sewage in the sea off a Majorcan beach, it's a fake if there's a message for the locals in Catalan telling them to ignore the sign.
Some of these locals have got the hump about foreign tourists daring to visit their island and throw money around.
No motoring crime left undetected?
A.I. speed cameras can also get dosh from drivers using a portable phone and drivers & passengers who aren't wearing a seat belt.
Adding on some tweaking lets the spy cameras help to stick fines on the operators of excessively noisy vehicles. As well as speeders, of course.
[Unless some indignant citizen with a long-reach snipper chops though the camera's cable, of course. Ed.]
Nothing Worksland
 The Universe has grotted on a Green party member of the German coalition government run by Sergeant Schultz. Her party is supposed to be against the use of official aircraft for foreign junket trips but that didn't stop her from zooming off to Abu Dhabi on one for a jolly.
Wot a shame. The plane broke down and she had to call off the trip and head back to Berlin on a commercial flight.
Good for them for once
The doctors' trade union is demanding accountability for the management waxworks who persist with their refusals to make hospitals safe places where the customers are not liable to be murdered by staff members or allowed to die of neglect.
You consultants striking for pay!
How many more will you kill today?
The Esso petrol station in Romiley has come up with a cute dodge to prevent drivers approaching from the east being able to see how HUGE the jacked-up fuel prices have become.
The minions have shoved the giant banner flag in front of the price display to block the view of it.
Esso petrol 149.9p/litre.
Esso diesel 153.9p/litre.
Both rips are now going even further off the charts.
 Today's credit card scam phone call came from 0161 431 0077, which could be the Heaton Moor area of Stockport, or the number could have been moved elsewhere under portability rules.
300 quid to Amazon, 1,300 quid for an international money transfer.
Press 1 to be scammed, Press 2 to be scammed.
  More cash down that drain
600+ coppers facing misconduct charges are shirking @ home on full pay @ a cost to the nation of £1.6 MILLION per month, left parked in limbo—for years rather than months is not uncommon—thanks to the ability of burrocraps & the legal trade to spin out the injustice system relentlessly.
Another reason for not binning A.I.s is that they are being used to find and return to the owner, the luggage that airlines seem to delight in losing & misdirecting, especially RyanGrounded & BA.
The insurance industry is delighted by this development, which means a lot less slagging off by frustrated customers who have been swindled with a non-payment of a perfectly valid policy.
 Nothing Worksland II
16 years of Mherkel Misrule are getting the blame for the sorry current state of Germany, Yourope's former power-house. Now, every part of the country looks as bad as how the Soviet-controlled DDR, where Mutti Mherkel grew up, used to be. And the coalition government contains a Green party which is cool with closing down the non-carbon emitting nuclear power stations and opening new coal mines to feed the coal-fired electricity-generating replacements.
It would appear that the Greens don't think they should be inconvenienced by all the virtue-flagging BS they try to stick on others.
TNF: the Albertines in Winnipeg in week 12
The Blue Bombers started and the first play by Collards went for a pick-6 by Richards!!!. The BB missed a long FG try after 6 minutes. They were back for a TD pass to Schoen in the last minute of the quarter, 7-all. The Als went ahead with a FG early in Q2, 10-7. A big pass to Demski, another TD pass to Schoen, 10-14. Collards threw into double coverage and gave the Als another pick with 4 minutes to go. No damage but another pick-6 for the Als put them 17-14 ahead. Olivera with a TD run with a minute left, 17-21.
Fajardo was picked early in Q3, the BB marched on to a TD after 7 minutes, 17-27. A bad snap by the Als gave the BB the ball @ their 35, FG from it, 17-30. Another turnover, another TD; for Lawler; in the 14th minute, 17-37. A TD catch for Olivera early in Q4, 17-44. Add a FG with 3 minutes to go after 700 yards of offense, 17-47. And that was enuff.
 Imagination needed
What sort of sanctions can Putinstan impose on a Britisch prosecutor @ the International Criminal Court @ den Haag as a reprisal for his war-crimes & kidnapping charges against Putrid the Poisoner? Demand that he relocate to Moscovicious so that the KGB can chuck in out of a 6th-floor hotel window or blow him up with a fake Ukrainian drone strike?
 Inspiration needed
Current parents of small children, the Xperts are telling us, are unable to understand how parents coped back in the 20th century without personal phones and the internet.
Well enough, has to be the answer, even with bombs falling on them from German Zeppelins & aeroplanes. Not being snoflakes and not being bombarded with idiocy from influencers probably helped, too.
 Look! I reely am inneresting!
Bier Smarmer's deputy, Slagatha Robot, would have us believe that when she's on holiday, she spends the night chugging through a bucket containing bottles of vodka & Southern Comfort, 10 bottles of some blue stuff and a litre of orange juice to let her pretend it's healthy. And when she's not boozin', she's boppin' with girls half her age (43).
What's the big argument in favour of a driverless taxi? No driver, no tip. Xcept that the fare is bound to be inflated as a hidden rip-off to pay a tip to the remote driver, who has to be ready to take over in an egermency.
FNF: the Calgary Stampeders in T’ronno
A wide open Harris opened the scoring for the Argonauts in the 10th minute. Kelly kept the ball on a play from the SC 2 5 minutes into Q2, 0-14. Just about a minute later, the Stamps scored with a 65 yard TD pass, 7-14. The Stamps set up for a FG with 5 minutes left in the half but a penalty on the Argos gave them a 1st down. TD instead, 14-all. The Argos kicked a FG in the 13th minute, 14-17. Begelton wide open for a TD, 21-17. 67 yards, Kelly to Kelce, TD for the Argos in the last minute, 21-24.
2 minutes in to Q3, Maier to Begelton again for a TD, 28-24. Big pass to a wide open Daniels after 5 minutes, 28-31. Almost a TD in the 1st minute of Q3, FG instead, 31-all. Leake returned a CS punt for a TD, 31-38. A single from a TA punt, 31-39 and the Argos were able to run out the last couple of minutes for another win.
On the one hand . . .
The government is claiming that paying pension to oldies is going to be a severe problem in a decade or so due to their increasing numbers. But what about paying ‘You're Useless' cash to support the 30 million people who will be out of work thanks to A.I.s and robots by 2035, as predicted by the Xperts?
That will make the paying pensions problem look incidental.
But on the other . . .
“Whatever happened to that GW Fraudster tale that a warmer climate will deprive pensioners of sleep, making them more susceptible to diseases, which will kill them off faster?” Paqui Tinn
"If the Warmists could modify the Earth's climate (which they can't, no matter what they tell us), could we trust them to do a competent job of it?"
This question keeps being asked and the answer remains: "No, they can't be trusted to do anything other than stuff their pockets with our cash and disappear back into the woodwork when Xposed as fraudsters."
 6 years ago, BFN was pointing out that the only way to improve air quality in cities is to Xclude the vehicles causing the pollution. Pay to Pollute just stuffs cash into the pockets of crooked politicians to waste on scams and bungs to mates, and does nothing for the customers.
D. Trump is fully entitled to look pissed off in his mug shot as he is being Putinized by the Democraps. Political BS Rulz.
Former pop person Sir C. Richard is still feeling the pinch but hoping to ease it with his 2024 calendar showing him recreating variously.
The Conscious Advertising Network is upset by the threat of the government poking its nose into its politically motivated boycotts of meeja outlets & shining a light on the CAN's anti-freedom & anti-choice agenda.
Not winning their world cup hasn't damaged the Lioness' earning potential, which is Xpected to run into the tens of millions.
Big stores are offering free coffee & discounts on products in the hope of attracting police officers and discouraging thieves & making them less aggressive when challenged.
The police ignore 90% of cyber-crime, 10% of reported cases, i.e. 0.1% of the total, result in prosecutions and 99.975% of cyber-criminals get away with it.
 CIA Exposé
There was no one alive on the Prigozhin death crash plane at the end. The crew of 2, who handled the take off, baled out after 5 minutes & the plane with its cargo of bodies; all enemies of Putrid the Poisoner & his string-pullers; was guided to a harmless crash in open country by a chase plane, which had it under radio control.
The confusion industry then went into overdrive with tales of ground-fired missles and a bomb disguised as a case of fine wine. Plus a tale that the Prigozhin aboard was a crony who'd changed his name to that of the boss, who is still alive.
Just plain shameless
Sadgeek K'han't and his deputy, S. Rodriques, have been caught in the act of tampering with an assessment by university academics of their UseLEZ scam. The report points out the lack of significant improvement of air quality (3% tops) on offer.
This is being taken as absolute confirmation that it is just another Labour financial fraud aimed at London's motorists and that those in charge know it is. Especially K'han't, who admitted knowing that UseLEZ has little effect on air quality 2 years ago.
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Despite the best efforts of GW fraudsters to cook the books, climate change is having Net Zero effect on the frequency of earthquakes in the UK, where the Manchester area is a particular hot zone.
See HERE
SatNF: the Hamilton TigerCats in Vancouver
Their 100th clash took place on a pleasant summer afternoon. BC forced a turnover on downs, nowt from it. A big dose of Butler got the Cats to scoring range at the end of Q1, Butler with a dive over the pack as the 2nd play of Q2, 7-0. BC missed a 49-yard FG try. The Cats made one in the 13th minute, 10-0. A FG for BC closed the half @ 10-3.
BC got the passing game going in Q3, another FG, 10-6. Butler took a pass for his 2nd TD in the 10th minute, 17-6. The Cats recovered a fumble in the 4th minute of Q4, sacked to a FG, 20-6. BC went for a 3rd down, only to see the pass picked off by the Cats, FG from it, 23-6. Finally a TD for BC, Hatcher at the start of the 14th minute, 23-13. A pick-6 by the Cats right away when BC tried a short kick-off in an attempt to get the ball again made the final score 30-13.
 Portrait of a man facing evil with defiance
The D. Trump Georgia mugshot is styled on the iconic W. Churchill mugshot, which, sadly, was created before merchandizing cash-ins had been invented.
Fetês Vos Jeux:
How many millions of bucks will D. Trump make out of merchandizing his mugshot?
[Clue: it will be more than the GDP of an average 3rd world dictatership.]
“Is it the Untied States of America or Putinstan or China if Trump is facing 700 years' worth of trumped up, politically motivated BS?” Jock Yewlar
“Consumer protection organizations in the US are having to warn the public about fake goods bearing the now iconic Georgia mugshot of President Trump. Democrap spivs see no reason why they shouldn't make a few bob out of the trumped up charges.” Y.I. Yabugga
 Bankster Morals or No bad deed left unrewarded
Blabbermouth Rose, the NatWest bank boss who abandoned client confidentiality on N. Farage's Cootts account and lied to the BierBC about the state of it, is to stroll off into the sunset with a £2.4 MILLION reward for failure. Plus a massive pension pot. It the government doesn't put a block on it.
 "Pound Falls", yelled the DoomBugger.
Four pages further on, the truth emerged.
Down 0.0022 against the dollar and 0.0037 against the euro.
Back in April 2017, Jonah Burnham, who was a health minister when Stafford Hospital's management was killing patients with neglect, was getting himself into the job of cosmetic mayor of Greater Manchester and that MacRon bloke was beating Marine Plume de ma Tante to become president of France.
Has either been a resounding success in the job? Not so's you'd notice.
Opinions vary
 Some people are drinking coffee more often than tea. Does that matter? Only to retailers, who find they're selling twice as many packets of coffee as tea, even though the price of instant coffee is a total rip-off and ‘display only' jars are going on supermarket shelves to frustrate thieves.
The trend is being welcomed by barstewardistas, who can come up with 199 ways to mess about with a cup of coffee but who are clueless about doing the same with tea.
“Tea is becoming outdate? Try telling them that in Yorkshire!” Olog Undaya
Bonk Holiday Monday in case anyone is unaware of it. But the rain is probably a good enuff clue? Well, not to start off. The Sun even looked out a bit.
 Anything made of gold found by a detectorist anywhere near Nottingham will be described in an auction catalogue as having been buried by a Sheriff to hide it from outlaws. That's the rule. Even if it's found 27 miles from the outer fringes of Sherwood Forest.
Someone we haven't heard anything about for a long time is Fuk Jon Sno, the Corbynsteiner meeja clown. Anyone miss him? No?
Sherie Bounces Back
“A good day to hide bad news. The Met's latest Fawcett flop was revealed on Letby sentence day.” Huw Cantspel
“We can't speak for the dead remains as true as ever. It's a reality which the slavery apologizers are too busy with their virtue-flagging to get, however.” Aphid Placebo
“Strange how the Africans, Arabs, etc. who were making the slave trade work are not being tapped up for cash. Rachelism is condoned, if not compulsory, if it's directed @ Europeans.” Onya Mettle
“Is being totally evil a basic qualification for being a senior manager of an NHS hospital trust? We should be told.” Nemya Poison
SunNF: The Ottawa RedBlacks in Edmonton
The RB opener produced a single from a punt. All defence to the end of Q1, when Ford had a pass batted away in the RB end zone. So he ran for a TD himself in the 2nd minute of Q2! 1-7. Ward made a long FG after 7 minutes, 4-7. One back for the Antlers, 4-10. A try by Ward was a bad miss for a single, 5-7. Ford to Lewis in the last minute, he ducked out of a tackle and hit the end zone, 5-17.
A bomb pass got the Ants to the RB 2, Cornelius came on for a charge TD, 5-24. Ward with a 53-yard FG, 8-24. One for the Ants, 8-27. The RBs drove in to Q4, Williams escaped from a mob, on, on to the end zone, 14-27.
Faithfull with a 37-yarder, 14-30 in the 11th minute? A major foul by the Ants wiped out the points. Roughing the kicker by the RBs kept the drive going when it seemed about to end in a punt, Faithfull again from 27 yards, 14-30 with 2:40 left. That has to be the end of the interminable 22-game home losing streak!!
The RBs reached the EA 1 with a minute left, TD but no +2, 20-30. Ford did some more running and the Antlers ran out the clock.
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Barnet Fair of Romiley, 62c Riverside Drive
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22 quid for a loaf that can ‘ease' (no extent on offer) Irritating Bowel Syndrome? Great. Xcept that it creates Irritated Wallet Syndrome.
Singing “Politics, Politics, Über Alles!”
The Davey Trivials have decided that what a human body can do is no longer a matter for biology & science, it's what the members of the Trivial party are prepared to vote for.
Including ruling that menstruating is something men can do because why else would it be called that?
No wonder his mob are setting new records for irrelevance.
“In the case of those whack jobs, they need a good whack round the skull with a lump hammer to knock some sense into them.” Y. Nott
The Co-op Bank is cooler than Cootts and sees nothing wrong with letting female serial killers have an account and banning femmes who stand up for women's rights. Which must have the founders of the Co-op Movement rotating furiously in their graves.
Brexit and/or gorbal warmage is probably getting the blame.
 Eyes shut, the World safe
Creaky Joe is in trouble for claiming that a minor fire in the kitchen of his holiday home was on a par with the wildfires that have killed so many people in Hawaii. 100+ dead, 850 missing.
He also thinks he's currently campaigning for a job as a senator, not another stint as the president of the Untied States. Worse, all the Democraps have to offer in the way of an alternative is an entitled Kennedy conspiracy nutter.
1. The world is not on fire as the likes of Prince Hairy and the secretary of the UN, General A. Guterrez would have us believe.
2. This is a deliberate lie mainly from politicians who know that we know they're lying but keep on doing it.
3. There are wild fires burning in some areas of the world. The UN is doing nothing to Xtinguish them.
4. The UN is a political organization which ignores/perverts science. Would you trust self-serving politicians to use your money to mess about with the climate of The Planet, knowing that if they cause a disaster, they will spin it as a triumph?
The British Museum was told 2 years ago that items were being stolen from its stored collections but the waxworks in charge, like those @ the Countess of Chester hospital, chose to do nothing.
Fascinating Fact from Fawcett 3:
No matter what the monarch's minions do, or do not, get up to, the holder of the job is immune from prosecution unless Parliament passes an Act removing the incumbent from the throne and cancelling his/her can't be touchedness. That's an Act which would require the monarch's signature to allow it to pass into law.
“Free the Fawcett Three!!! Oh, they have.” Arnie Dingbat
We had a fine example of why they're called the ludicrous left on the Dan Wootton show on GBViews last night. One of the panellists complained about the way the NHS is pandering to the rainbow badgers and allowing female spaces to be invaded by men.
Benjamin, the obligatory mockable lefty, promptly misquoted her and started doing a rant based on his misquotation, not what had actually been said.
On the BierBC, he'd have been allowed to get away with it.
 Six years on,
Lest we forget:
The cladding on the Grenfell Tower apartment building complied with EFU thermal efficiency edicts and the UK government had no say in the matter, having handed this responsibility to the EFU.
Regulations relating to fire risk in high-rise buildings were completely under EFU control when the cladding was applied and the UK government had no say in the matter.
Thus responsibility for the severity of the fire caused by the dodgy fridge bloke and all the deaths caused by the blaze lies fair & square on the EFU.
Today’s Conspiracy Theory:
The bosses @ the Britisch Museum are believed to rejoice when someone steals treasures from the archives as it reduces both their burden of acquisition guilt and also the chances of their having to make an apology to someone foreign & pushily obnoxious.
Spot the worse of them
If it takes a special kind of evil to kill babies in your care, it takes a special kind of evil left lunacy to blame the Letby murders on white privilege as a means of attention-getting.
“Both the killer & the gobnarzi activist should be put on a plane and crashed 10 miles from Moscow pour encourager les autres.” X. O'cution
 The man who would be our PM
Serbia Smarmer is so afraid of the transpicater lobby that he goes straight into wibble mode when asked if he'd be overjoyed to have the cross-dresser Freddy Gizzard as the Labour candidate for the next election @ Brighton Pavilion.
Pretty much @ the death knell end of the 'ringing endorsement' spectrum.
Foul! Unfair! Presecution!
The legal trade is up in arms in Scotland because a proposed Bill to regulate lawyers will give government ministers in the devolved Parliament the power to impose financial penalties on lawyers who don't do their job well enuff.
Even though litigation in this area provides the legal trade with a big chunk of its income, the thought of wig-wearers in the dock is creating a severe attack of the heebie-jeebies.
“As with the medical trade, the lawyers are claiming that incompetence should have no adverse consequences in their special case.” Les Éfair
The Indian south-pole Moon lander cost Britisch taxpayers £60 MILLION. It is being passed off as a bargain-price venture.
Strikes by the Jr.Dox & NHS consultants have achieve the
1 MILLION mark for cancelled operations.
With even more yet to come.
Q: Why haven't we heard a squeak from the ludicrous left about the murder of 4,000 farmers in Sarf Efrica over the last 30 years?
A: Because they were white. Blacque people can slaughter as many whites as they like without bothering the evil left. Anti-white rachelism is what they do. The blacks hate the whites as exploiters but they freely admit that corruption under black rule is much, much worse.
Are you getting pushed around?
Release your Inner Dominator!
9-Step Course to Confidence
All ages catered for
Aggress Maxima, 12 The Sidings, Higher Romiley
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 Don't take your dog to Wolverhampton if it's wearing a blue shirt. The cops there will bust it and look enormously pleased with themselves.
They are weird like that.
 Creaky Joe has a 4% approval rating with young people in the Untied States, but this is not seen as a problem. The youngies will become oldies and there will be lotz more iggorant youngies along for the next election.
50% of hospital staff still trust their managers despite the Xposure of a widespread culture of cover up & self-serving.
Something Worth Remembering:
Labour is a government in waiting, we are assured. The trouble is that all Labour is doing is waiting to burgle the national piggy bank again.
[No, there isn't a prize for remembering when we last offered this pearl of wisdom. Ed.]
 “Prigozhin is a dead man who is no longer walking—or is he? Who's going to trust DNA evidence from somewhere as dodgy as Putinstan?” Euart de Ferq
“No surprise that stuff has been vanishing from the Britisch Museum if former Chancellor G. 10-Jobs Osborne is now the chairman of the trustees.” Aung Baque
“I see Vague magazine is in trouble for putting a bloke who is being redone as a female lookalike into its list of 25 female powerhouses. It definitely must be something in the water.” Stan Dingroom
“A one-nil final match to a world cup series is a magnificent advert for women's football? Depends how low you want to set the bar.” G. Obnarzi
There is a revival on the cards of the plan to use the salutation adopted by the actor Sid James to replace the plague of pronouns sprayed about by the BLT community. Everyone will be 'Mush' – applied without fear, favour or discrimination.
Q: If Scotland is Alba, does that make the natives Albanians & the objectionable ones liable to be Xported to Albania?
A: Definitely something to consider in the case of the useless ones.
 Humbug Useless is taking a pragmatic attitude to the governance of Scotland. If the SNP has the electoral momentum of a stalled £110,000 camper van, he sees now as an ideal time to piss off the customers to get back at them for all the reminders of his endemic uselessness.
Being on the side of the Gorbal Warmage Fraudsters is his No. 1 Strike-Back Tactic, with frustrating North Sea oil & gas Xtraction at the top of his menu as this would have the effect of a Gordon F. Broon-size wrecking ball on the Scottish economy.
The French government is blowing €200 MILLION on destroying surplus wine stocks. The alcohol will be Xtracted for use in cleaning products. This major embarrassment was caused by over-production and a failure to notice that pesky customers were switching to craft beers for a change.
The costa living crisis & probably also Brexit & gorbal warmage, are getting the blame, none of which can be attached to Pres. MacRon, of course.
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The Powerful suction motor features a blow function for clearing out those annoyingly awkward & inaccessible spaces
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If your home is invaded, use the blow function to fire one-ounce lead slugs at the intruder to distress & disable
Romiley Accessories, 34b Riverside Drive
 From our Theatre Critic:
If it's a woman not Count Dracula in the lead role, then the play is a loada knock-off tripe.
Sheer Warmist perversity
Why would anyone with more than 2 brain cells to rub together buy electric ambulances & fire engines when diesel-powered ones are half the price and don't conk out, needing a lengthy recharging period, after a few hours.
BS Baffles Brains.
Lest We Forget:
It was President Trump who upset Those People by declaring that their anti-white rachelism is as bad as white rachelism. Bad people & their allies are bad, whatever their colour & origins.
The Dodds woman, one of Bier Smarmer's sidekicks, was trying to tell us that no one knows what our Snackstabber PM stands for. Which only served to remind us that this is Xactly what is being said about her boss.
Not Xactly noted for originality & clarity of thought, the Labour lot. Or consistency.
The management of 77 NHS hospital trusts has proved itself unfit for purpose by paying our money to join a scam which puts vexatious minority agitation before biology & patient safety.
The last refuge of the scamdrel
engaged in blaggerdoccio
London's cosmetic mayor, Sadgeek K'han't, is just one step away from claiming that people who won't fall for his UseLEZ scam are out of the same box as Holocaust deniers, having fired off a Chinese plague deniers rant.
He's that desperate for justification with no science to back him up and the entire nation knowing that the scam is just another Labour hand in the customer's pocket.
The UseLEZ system's cameras are having to be fitted with armour plating in an attempt to defend them from attacks by public-minded citizens.
The Director of the Britisch Museum has been accused of telling deliberate lies about the 2021 whistle blower, a Danish art collector, who reported that stuff from the museum's collection was being sold covertly. Which doesn't Xactly generate confidence in the BM's management.
Especially if the BM bosses treated Dr. Gradel like a village idiot at the time.
“If they get the sack for uselessness, the BuM bosses can always go & manage an NHS hospital trust.” Per Pusful
A violent 80-year-old conductor has been dumped out of this year's Promenade Concert series after attacking a performer in a rage backstage.
 Below the line mission statement: Some of the above is true. BFN is recognized as a premiere class observational blog and a multiple winner of the OB of the Year award.
We are constantly exposed to dodgy conclusions drawn from dodgy data by the 'experts', especially those found in the world of politics and especially those at the Treasury and in opposition and running trade unions.
Some of us civilians at BFN like to join in to let them know that anyone can do it and we ain't impressed by their efforts.
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