WEEK 1    Trump does tariffs, Smarmer sits on his hands

 
The Worst April Fool of all time
Iran is going to attack the UK/US base on the Chagos island Diego Garcia to prevent Bier Smarmer from giving it away.

Less for more
Despite a big jump in Council Tax, our wonderful council (Stockport) is abandoning collections of garden waste unless the mug coughs up £59, which will probably be spent on diversity crap and other things of Nett Zero value to the average resident. Wunderbar.
   Water, gas, electricity, essentials of everyday life, just about everything you can think of is also going up this month in response to Thievin's disastrous Budget, Edstone Milipede & grabbing by the rest of Smarmer's Army.
   See what you get when you let only 20% of the electorate give you a government? Dopes, the lot of you.

Bier Smarmer claims he's working hard on a trade deal with the US before Pres. XL slaps tariffs on everything in sight. And Bier is working hard with the industries that will be affected. Which tells us that the cliché mill is all that's working hard to produce hot air & nothing useful will be on offer.

Science marches on!
Chemical tinkerers in Germany have come up with a way of creating fois gras without animal cruelty. Instead of force-feeding ducks or geese until their liver Xplodes, the animals are terminated humanely and the livers are treated with enzymes to create something that resembles fois gras in texture & smell.

Go woke, go broke
Sussex University has been fined a record £585,000 for joining in a student campaign against a professor who tried to defend the concept of women-only spaces against the transpicater lobby and was cancelled.
Universities are Xpected to be hit with more fines for endorsing attacks on free speech.
The Sussex fine could have been over three million quid (!!) but the university was let off lightly for being the first offender to be done over.
The uni, meanwhile, is absolutely outraged by what is sees as an attack on what speech it wants to be free and what speech it wants banned. It's the old Two-Bier Justice system misapplied in yet another way.

India is chuffed @ having produced a billion tons of coal for its power stations for the first time ever and the management feels that the nation is on course to become a global energy leader.

Eyes off the ball
The Chancellor is getting a booting for letting the Office of Budget Responsibility approve everything she does. Mainly because she hasn't been paying attention & she hasn't spotted that the OBR has a long history of getting its guesses horribly wrong.
   Last October, after the Budget, the OBR was guessing that economic growth would be 2% this year. A guess which is now down to 1%. Or 0.7%, according to the Bank of England.

On a visit there, VPOTUS Judy Vance accuses Putinstan & China of trying to steal Greenland before Pres. XL can get his mitts on it. Every day, something dafter.

The wheels are coming off the Angrier Robot plan to carpet the Green Belt with new houses for illegal immigrants. Not enuff bodies in the construction industry ain't helping and neither is Thievin's tax assault on businesses.

More KerKlunk
The OBR reckons that Angular Robot's Shirker's Rights Charter will damage the economy to an incalculable degree. There is insufficient data available to predict the full impact. Okay, but why isn't the OBR offering a vague guess? Or is the mockery starting to get through?
"An employment Bill that does the opposite of what is says on the tin," according to the Conservative business spokes.

Thievin Reeves has been voted the most dishonest minister of all time. And by a considerable margin over everyone in the New Labour government.

The Office for Notional Sadistics got the number of transpicaters in England & Wales so badly wrong that this piece of 2021 census data is having to be discarded.
   People who didn't have English as their first language gave all sorts of unreliable answers and outright guesses as they didn't understand the questions.
The ONS & other government bodies are heavily infiltrated by far-Left wonks, who falsify data by conflating actual sex & gender of the day. It is entirely down to them that these dodgy numbers have not been discarded sooner.

Q: If you work for Harrods, how do you get away with stealing handbags worth £15,000?
A: Tell the judge that life in London is expensive and there's a good chance you won't go to gaol.

Thievin Economics
The price of chocolate has gone up by 16.5% this year and this is being used as an Xcuse for some retailers to boost the price of their Easter eggs by 50% or even more.

Labour will cost the nation £600 BILLION in debt interest over the next half-decade. Freebie Reeves has turned growth into Noth. Or shrinkth.

Esso petrol 135.9p/litre in Romiley.
Esso diesel 141.9p/litre.
Petrol retailers are being accused of ripping off their customers by taking a double profit margin compared to 2015-2019.

Smarmer & Trump hold crunch talks. About what? Rice crispies? Toffee crisp? Potato crisps? We should be told.

“Whoever it was who got a toddler chucked out of a nursery school for being ‘transphobic' should be dropped down a deep, dark hole and banned from the education industry for life.” Fedor Ahat

The Equality Tsar is blaming the far-Left theGrauniad mentality for triggering the riots following the Southport murders by pursuing a relentless anti-white agenda. There are also the imaginary far-Right conspiracies to be taken into account.

The deindustrializers
Trump tariffs & Edstone Milipede Nett Zero green taxes will close down the British steel industry and all new steel will have to be imported from abroad. That's what fate has in store in June or September unless someone boots Bier Smarmer up the bum and forces him to keep his promise to save the plant @ Scunthorpe.
   Which is not looking like a good bet, going from Smarmer's record in office.
Edstone Milipede's contributions to deindustrialization include passing business to China. Steel is unprofitable due to high energy costs, which are boosted by Milipede's spurious green taxes. No such problems in China.

For once, the Opposition has got it wrong. The government hasn't lost its grip on illegal immigration, it never had one.
A French court has awarded France's most popular politician, Marine Le Pen, political martyr status via a really OTT sentence over financial shenannygoats. An appeal and lotz of riots are Xpected.
The government has been forced to get off its arse & legislate to prevent the Sentencing Council from imposing anti-white Two-Bier justice. Sacking the SC is obviously too good an idea for Smarmer's Army to grasp.

Well off target
Thievin Reeves is getting a good booting for taking cash away from carers, who do an essential job cheaply, rather than grabbing from the skivers who choose not to work. Further evidence that she just don't get it.

Great idea! Stick water company bosses in gaol if they fail to stop polluting rivers, lakes & the sea with raw sewage.

Yawn
Sugar Ray, the Boris back-stabber & Smarmer crony, has done a maiden speech in the House of Frauds. She doesn't want people to have the freedom to write about the various Blobs & ‘pen-pushers' because that upsets those in the snivel service with these tendencies. Like anyone in the real world cares.

The Indian government reckons it is on track for a severely unbalanced population in 2050. 440 million Indians will be o'bese from eating junk foods and 800 million will be collecting state charity & subsisting on a handful of rice a day.

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Scores more, if not hundreds
That toddler who was booted out of a nursery because some crazy adult thought the kid is transphobic is by no means an isolated case.
   A survey has found that there are lotz of crazy adults about, who claim that everyone should believe that a boy in a frock is a girl. In the interests of social sanity, they should all be rounded up & parked in re-education camps somewhere remote until they gain contact with reality.
“Next thing you know, there will be police farces sending half a dozen coppers round to bust the kids concerned for an imaginary hate crime.” Purpurs Fully
“Let us make sure the crazies are parked somewhere with lotz of really fierce midges.” Gunn F'hire

The London Museum in Dockland is now a place to avoid. The wonks running it have substituted a continual anti-whiteness agenda for offering an accurate historical record. Everything but everything is the fault of those with a white skin.

Edstone Milipede has had a good booting from the Public Accounts Committee. He's failing to tackle soaring energy prices by not delivering on his promise to rebalance the prices of electricity & gas, and he is failing to deliver energy security when only occasional sources of power; wind & solar; are available.
Freebie Reeves is getting a booting from the Office for Notional Sadistics by taking over an economy that was growing at a gangbusters rate in the first half of 2024 and bringing it to a dead stop, something which she seems to be amazingly smug about.

Greenland is in the same situation as Scotland, as far as independence is concerned. Just as the Scots can't Xist without huge subsidies from England, Greenland is reliant on the funding it gets from Denmark.

Who or what is writing America's script now? And increasingly popular theory is that it's a what—an A.I., which has been loaded with the George Orwell novel 1984.
   Hence all the lies offered as official truth & vice versa. And the fantasies presented as realities.

Donald Slump
Stock markets everywhere are nose-diving after the tariff fest.

Putin the poisoner is claiming he's going to finish off Ukraine. And the UK is next!! What do we have in the way of natural resources that's worth grabbing?

Bier—playing it cool or just clueless?
Pres. XL announces 55% tariff on UK luxury items knowing that Bier Smarmer is too soggy to respond in kind.
   Far-Left attempts to stifle free speech & the anti-white bias of the judiciary and police farces are not helping to give good old XL a good opinion of us.

Clash of priorities
The train drivers' union, appropriately named ASLEEP, has no problem with calling a strike after a driver with a history of falling asleep at the controls of a 125 mph train was sacked. Looks like this is a public safety ishue which the union finds irrelevant.
   The union called an 8-week strike, starting this week, of the Hull to London service. Just 20% of the trains have been cancelled as lotz of the union's members are sensible bods who are ignoring the strike call.

Bier Smarmer is still gaslighting the nation by claiming he's giving millions of people a pay rise.
   It is now clear, if there was ever any doubt, that when he has his gob open, he's lying.

The MP for Birmingham, now rat & rubbish city, is getting a booting for agitating for the construction of a new international airport in Pakistan instead of doing anything about the chaos in his constituency.
“How strange that Xpanding Heathrow airport will totally wreck the global climate, according to Labour MPs, but building airports in Pakistan won't.” B. Lashkol

Just get on with it
Bier Smarmer claims he gets it over boat people. But he's all talk. What he needs to do is pass an emergency law stating that everyone who arrives here by boat; from dinghy to luxury yacht; is responsible for paying their own way & not eligible for cash from the Britisch taxpayer.

Pres. XL is getting highly pissed off with Putin the Poisoner, who is dragging his feet over a deal to stitch up Ukraine. All XL seems to have on offer is even more tariffs on Putinstan.
   He's also threatening to thump Ukraine unless President Zelenskiy gives the Untied States unlimited access to its rare minerals with no attached concrete security protocols. No danger that he'll ever play nice, then?

Apple blossom is showering all over the place in Romiley when the wind blows.

Maximum pay-out of taxpayers’s cash
Freebie Reeves has hired, @ the taxpayer's Xpense, the 4 most Xpensive KCs she could find. Each was educated privately and they will be used to squash parents who send their kids to a private school if they dare to challenge Thievin's VAT raid.

He’s at it again
1. Bier Smarmer promises to tackle the pothole plague.
2. The funding on offer is 5% less than last year's allocation.
3. Another Labour swindle.

More ‘Labour Hates Britain’
Another of Edstone Milipede's scams is closing down the fishing industry by making fishing boat all-electric by law. The weight of the batteries needed will put all small fishing boats out of business right away.
   How is this going to affect the global climate? It won't. Milipede is an idiot.
“No fishing industry? Bier Smarmer can let the French hoover away to their heart's content in our coastal waters after another of his betrayals.” Walkon D. Wildside

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Another Smarmer lie—the Tories left interest rates @ 11%. Not before the last general election. They were last that high in 1991 but that didn't give Labour a win in the 1992 election.
   Is there any lie that Bier won't tell? Or is he just too lazy to check the 'facts' that his minions hand him?

The government's anti-Semitism advisor, Lord Mann, has the hump with the boss of the BierBC, T. Davey, who keeps 'arrogantly' refusing to take training on the ishue. Davey's version is that the Beeb gets its training from other sources, so there!

Today’s Question:
Smug Bugger—who's that? It used to be tony b. liar but the title has now been taken over by Freebie Reeves.

Still working hard to promote negative growth
The hospitality industry, worth £93 billion per year, has been lumbered with £3.4 billion in Xtra taxes from this month courtesy of Freebie Reeves, who has reduced confidence levels to those Xperienced during the depths of the Chinese plague pandemic.

The Daily Mail April Fool
A gaggle of skivers want to make not choosing to move on to British Summer Tiemn a 'uman bluddy right so they can turn up for work an hour late. Some even want to choose which time zone from around the world that they observe.
   The above works because it sounds no dafter than people choosing which of 100+ genders they're going to be on a given day.

Working Xceptionally hard to create social injustice via Two-Bier justice
According to the police Anti-Rachelism Commitment, it is not rachelist to give preferential treatment to criminals who are not white.
   Worse, the National Police Chiefs' Council wants undeserved leniency for black criminals so that their arrest & charging statistics match Xactly those of white crims.

If a politician tells us he/she isn't going to do a knee-jerk reaction, it's just virtue flagging. Because that's their natural reaction and they're usually totally shameless about it.

Israel is threatening to add most of Gaza to its Occupied Territories & to pack the current occupants into a tiny ‘humanitarian zone'.

Even more of the ‘Hate Britain’ campaign
It should be possible for the government to pass a law blocking the Sentencing Council's discrimination against males, white people & Christians in a day. But the far-Left in the Commons & Lords are refusing to see sense & nothing will happen until after Easter @ the earliest.
“Bier Smarmer is supposed to be having a bonfire of UseLEZ QANGOs. How come the Sentencing Council still has a fist in our pockets? More Two-Bier double talk.” Jez Paxpersona

Summit conferences used to be rare events involving the USA & the USSR glaring frostily @ each other across a conference table. Now, they are just junket talking shops offered as an alternative to actually doing something about things like migrant invaders.
The next one is a Home Office mobile phone thefts summit, @ which Pixie Balls & chums will flap their jaws & achieve Nett Zero.

Prince Hairy is highly pissed off by the hostile take-over of his charity by a pushy lawyer. But it's what they do, mate.

Pharmacies in England have called off a reduction in opening hours after the Dept. of Health was shamed into paying a fairer price for their services.

Pres. XL wanted to put tariffs on everything on April 1st. He had to be reminded that it would be idiotic to do it on April Fool's Day.

Satisfaction with the NHS = 20%, dissatisfaction = 60%.

A whole lot more of it
After the revelation that a toddler was Xpelled from a nursery for being transphobic in some idiot's opinion, 94 other cases of this nonsense have come to light.
   An Education Dept. spokes said, "The Education Secretary Xpects schools to enforce good behaviour."
   How about the Ed. Sec. doing some enforcing on school staff & sacking the crazy ones?

The waste is right on your doorstep
If you want to know where your rip-off Council Tax rise is going, take a look at the Town Hall staff. 4,000 of them are paid £100 grand or more; plus pension & Xpenses; and over 800 of the buggers get more than the prime monster.

Q: What do you do if your National Security advisor & his minions use ordinary email accounts to conduct government business?
A: Claim it's a witch hunt & refuse to fire the offenders if you're Pres. XL.

Is he in or is he out? Marsman Musk to leave his government anti-waste job in the next few months. Garbage, sez on official spokes.
   His shareholders are hoping he's going back to his businesses, which have been battered by the Trump Slump of tariffs. Good luck with fixing them.

What’s a good way to respond to the Trump tariffs?
In India, they turned him into Guy Fawkes and stuck him on bonfires.
   Despite Bier Smarmer's claims of a triumph after we ended up in the 10% Trump Tariff bin, we're actually in there with 125 other countries, most of them irrelevant to the Untied States.
   Such as Afghanistan, a.k.a. Talibanistan, and some islands inhabited only by penguins.
   Not that big a deal after all, Bier.

The monster defects in the current rules of the sport of fencing have been highlighted by the disqualification of a female fencer in the USA when she refused to be involved in a match with a man claiming to be female.
   The rights of this bloke, and others like him, obviously outweigh those of real women with wokists contaminating the sport.

Trust in Xtremely short supply
The Attorney General, Lord Squirmer, is getting a good booting for moaning about politicians daring to notice the dodgy rulings of the likes of immigration judges. He's accused of binning the rule of law in favour of the rule of lawyers.
The Lady Chief Justice is also on Team Squirmer, which creates even less confidence in the legal trade.
“Parliament is where laws are made and if they are abused, MP are entitled to say so and do something about it. And yah, boo, sucks to the arrogant lawyers.” Con Taminate

Not what they pay for
The Hampshire village of Nether Wallop, where the then BBC filmed the Miss Marple TV shows, is not a happy place. The residents reported 98 burglaries to the local fuzz in 2024. Not one single case was cracked. A spot of counselling to the crime victims is all that's on offer.
“Maybe the coppers are too busy looking for people whose feelings have been hurt by something said on the interweb.” Ian O'Vext

WEEK 2    The Sun keeps shining; how long before a hosepipe ban?

 
Dangerous obsession
A veganist who stole a lamb with a broken leg from a field has been banned from the farm where she stole it, and banned from keeping sheep permanently. The unfortunate creature was severely malnourished & underweight and in need of a week's veterinary care when the police busted the woman.

The boss of Heathrow was warned that its power supply situation is dodgy after a couple of incidents, one of which took our runway lights. Then, 6 days later, came the Day of Disaster when the substation fire shut the place down completely.

MP D. Davis is demanding protection for our soldiers from IRA attempts to rewrite history following a coroner's decision to accuse an SAS unit of unlawful killing decades after the 4 men were found to have acted lawfully.

Labour is the party of change. And they'll have their hand in your pocket for that, as well.

Video of a medical convoy in Gaza, which the Israelis blasted to bitz, killing 15 medical personnel, shows that it wasn't sneaking around at night with no lights showing. It had headlights on and also the flashing lights. Which must have made it the easiest target in the world.

Ten grand to the good
The SNP has the hump with a millionaire former treasurer, who bought properties to rent in the north of England. If he had done this in Scotland, he'd have had to pay out thousands of pounds after the SNP slapped a tax on second homes.
   C. Beattie hasn't broken the law and all the SNP leader, J. Swinney, can do is moan that what Beattie did was morally wrong. Which is about as prethetic as you can get.
“Shove your taxes up and the money goes away. Shame that politicians never seem to grasp that, despite the exodus of millionaires from the UK since Labour got in.” Wild F'hire

Something well worth considering
The medical trade is starting to ask ‘What is the point of living longer if those final years are spent in physical decline & inability to cope with more than a very basic lifestyle?'
   There needs to be more focus on health-span rather than lifespan. But given the state the current management of the NHS has got it into, customers are advised not to get their hopes up.

The UK government shipped 6,000 migrants to Scotland as part of a dispersal plan. But not to the midge-infested remote islands recommended by those footing the bill.
Trump tariff forces Smarmer to bin 2030 ban on petrol cars for the sake of the economy. Two fingers waved @ Edstone Milipede. Lest we forget, nothing done here has a measurable effect on the global climate.
White Van Man has joined the list of persecuted minorities and most are nothing like their stereotype. Lotz have a degree and many have gone all woke & silly.

Jaguar Land Rover is giving the Untied States a miss, as far as Xports of vehicles are concerned, in response to the Trump Slump tariff.
   Dealerships have a couple of months' stock in hand, which gives the firm a bit of thinking time to come up with a new strategy.

An element of good sense
Luton airport is to be allowed to Xpand as part of a growth over green bollocks agenda, which has been forced on Bier Smarmer. Looks like some others in the government are getting the simple scientific fact that we don't control the global climate and the Milipede economy wreckers need to be ignored if they can't be Xterminated.

Sherie has been off on holiday but she’s back now
“Smarmer's response to the Trump Slump? A 417 page list of US stuff which ‘could' be hit with reciprocal tariffs but probably won't be. A minor squeak rather than sound & fury.” Barry Cade
“His famous deal with the US is looking very like the smash the gangs thing. All talk and no action.” Fuller Vimself
“One tick in the win column for the Trump Tariff Blitz. JCB is going to Xpand a factory in Texas as a way of getting round the imposition on imports. Cute!” F. Lowry

Bum bitten by past sins
Being in the Trump 10% tariff bin thanks to Brexit is now a major source of embarrassment to the Labour lot. No surprise, given that Bier Smarmer voted against Brexit 48 times in the Commons & tried to get the referendum cancelled.

One of them there studies has found that a disturbing number of blokes are seriously deluded about the animals they could outrun.
   Horses & stampeding elephants are on the list of supposed animal slowcoaches.

Britain's pub & restaurant chains are being targeted by gangs of gypsies, who confect a claim of discrimination against them by being deliberately provocative, then head to court with a compliant brief in tow to try to Xtract compenbloodysation for the imagined slight.
   They're doing it so often that there is clear evidence of a racket. Not much sign of the police doing anything about it, though.

Adjustment vital now
The disastrous Freebie Reeves Budget is getting a lot more attention as the fallout from the Trump Slump becomes clearer. Some unpicking of that, and the Angular Robot Skivers' Charter and the Milipede green bollocks scams, would be sensible & prudent.
   But these are not qualities associated with a Labour government.

“How accurate is the guess that 17,000 tons of rubbish have been dumped on Birmingham's streets? Plus or minus 5,000 tons? We should be told. ” Print O'siris

The UK's largest solar farm, Porth Wen on Anglesea, was ‘ripped to shreds' by Storm D in December of last year. It's still not back working again.
   How's that giving us energy security, Mr. Milipede?

Always happens
Apparently, Labour knew last July that its tax grab on private schools would close 100 of them, pushing the pupils into the state sector. But greed won over decency & good sense.

Never put your hand in your own pocket
A new freebie count has put Serbia Smarmer way out ahead of everyone else in Parliament. No one surprised that he's still got his nose deepest into the trough. And as for paying instead of accepting a freebie, he has short arms & deep pockets.
“Doesn't say much for the morals of the typical working class member of the boilermakers' union.” Gra Sinol
“About the best Xcuse that Labour's apologists can come up with for his greed is that Tories have accepted freebies in the past, and please don't notice the industrial scale of Serbia's grabbing.” Gill Tea

Dishonest, dathonest, no sort of honest at all
The goverment is planning to waste 4 years pretending to do a technical review of copyright laws, knowing that tech firms are stealing copyrighted material right now and need to be made to pay for what they feed to their A.I.s.
   Fat chance of that happening with Smarmer's Army in charge, especially if the ‘review' will be aimed at supporting Labour's preference to Xempt tech firms from having to pay copyright fees.

Me, me and sod everyone else but me
Should we be worried that people doing ‘silent prayer' or holding up a sign inviting conversation within the exclusion zone around an abortion clinic are now liable to stonking fines & bills for costs for interfering with the ‘uman rights of others?
   Nope. This is nothing to do with freedom of speech, as the American anti-abortionists supporting them are pretending, and all to do with self-righteous individuals attempting to intimidate women going about their lawful occasions by deliberately invading the exclusion zone.

Condemned with faint praise! The recently retired by compulsion Archybish of Cantab & child abuse ignorer, J. Wetby, is now being described as ‘unexceptional'.

Q: How can you tell that President MacRon of France is nearby?
A: According to a sneaky insider, he splashes on cologne recklessly all through the day and he can be detected nasally when 30 yards away!
“Same territorial marking concept as a dog weeveling on a lamp post?” Jusbin Robbery

Yer pays yer money and yer takes yer choice
According to ‘security sources', everyone in the UK needs to have a 72-hour survival kit on hand of food, water, medicines & a Swiss Army knife for when Putinstan attacks the energy pipelines in the North Sea and the country becomes as dead as Heathrow airport after its substation fire.
   According to (former) military sources, the survival kit idea is a load of bollocks and what we need to be doing is upping our defences to make sure that Putin's sneakers don't get close enough to do the damage.

Champagne sales in the UK are at an all-time low due to both the huge price and GenZ [those born between the mid-1990s & early 2010s] going for cheaper, less fizzy booze instead of champagne.

“How big is this table the Chancellor keeps telling us nothing is off? The Isle of Wight? Wales? Putinstan? We should be told.” D'eath Drake

Labour's ‘reforms' of the bloated bill for benefits are anything but ‘tough', an analysis has found. Sickness benefit is still out of control without scrutiny of whether self-certifying claimants are actually sick, and it is heading for unsustainable in the near future.
   No sign of any awareness in the Dept. of Handing Out Dosh, though.

Our globe-trotting Commons Squeaker, L. Hoyle, is outraged that he doesn't have his own private jet. Other countries give their Squeaker a jet and they don't make a fuss about the swanning about done by their Squeaker.
   Tough. All countries are not the same.

The supermarket chain Asda is having a trial of live facial recognition software in the Greater Manchester area as a defence against the persistent & violent shoplifters whom the police persist in ignoring.

Peaceful protest & lotz of it
Political martyr Marine Le Pen is channelling US civil rights agitator M.L. King in her fight against the blatantly political judicial ruling which is keeping her out of the 2027 French presidential election.

No Xplanation is forthcoming from Israel about the lies told about blasting a convoy of Palestinian aid workers to bitz and then using bulldozers to dig a hole big enuff to bury the evidence; vehicles as well as corpses.

Four of the 43 police farces in England & Wales responded to information requests about the Motability cars given to benefits claimants.
   They reported impounding over 500 vehicles, which were being used for drug dealing, sex crimes, burglaries & all sorts of other stuff.
Around 5,500 Motability vehicles being used in England & Wales for criminal activities if the 39 abstainers have the same rate of misuse?

Apparently, it was World Rat Day on April 4th. How much was that celebrated in Birmingham?
“Probably only by the striking members of Unite.” Rah Jastan

Q: Should the Israeli goverment be worried that keeping 2 anti-Israel Labour MPs out of their country has handed a propaganda coup to the anti-Israel faction in the Labour party?
A: Not really. Labour's antis would just have found something else to rant about if they'd been denied this ishue.

50% of MPs for the Borough of Camden are actively opposing the closure of the maternity unit @ the Royal Free Hospital.
   So who's the silent deadleg?
   Some 'couldn't give a monkey's' bum called Serbia Smarmer.

Q: Which Chief Constable should be sacked on the spot?
A: The one who placed a ban on white-skinned recruits, i.e. West Yorkshire's.
“This has to be illegal. So can we Xpect the chump to arrest himself?” Himmer Layer
“This is the police farce that blows over a million quid per year on diversity crap. Deferably not fit for purpose. Not that the Home Office will do anything about it, of course.” N. Campment

Entirely predictable
1. Bier Smarmer claims he's going to rip up red tape & have a bonfire of QANGOs.
2. Smarmer creates an equal pay QANGO with the job of applying the red tape of making employers record staff wages by race.
3. No one surprised that he was lying in 1.

Freebie Reeves has been forced to declare another one despite all the promises to stop grabbing and start paying—a free night out involving dinner and a trip to the theatre with her husband.

Strange as it may seem, Israel does have a right to refuse entry to known enemies of the state, even if they are Labour MPs.
“Especially if they're looking for stuff to make trouble about.” D'eath Drake

Encouraged by the mess its binpersons have made of Birmingham, the Unite trade union is eager to do the same elsewhere as the ban on recycling collections in Sheffield isn't having much of an impact.

We now have to add a period of uncertainty to the Trump Slump.
No one thrilled.

A headmaster clobbered his deputy 5 times with an 18" pipe wrench and was charged with grievous body harm. The target had hospital treatment for what were described only as 'minor injuries'. How grievous is that?

Another missed Opportunity to be Useful?
Xperts are pointing out that the Trump Slump tariffs give Serbia Smarmer a perfect Xcuse to ditch all the Milipede Nett Zero bollocks. No one terribly hopeful that old Bier will get something that sensible as he is notorious for going for vain hope over reality.
The green bollocks here doesn't affect the global climate but it does drive businesses into Xtinction. And there is Labour's record of hating Britisch success to consider.

Bier Smarmer is claiming he'll put more coppers on the streets. Is he going to sack the chief constables who turn away white recruits first? Like that's going to happen!
The Home Office is to do a U-turn & hold at least 5 watered-down grooming gang inquiries as its usual alternative to doing anything useful.
The government has taxed London out of the top 5 wealthiest cities in the world by inspiring 11,300 of the richest residents to move elsewhere, taking their dosh with them.
Research in Sydney, Australia, has found that while women think they look better with big, fat lips pumped full of Xpensive fillers, it's off-putting for blokes. But hey, when did good sense ever get in the way of fashion.

Wee Streeting, the health miniature, is not happy about the public health crisis the Unite union is causing in Birmingham with its blockade of refuse lorry depots.
   A. Khan (Independent), the MP for Perry Barr, wants the governent to send in the Army to clear the streets.
   Like Smarmer's Army would do that to one of its paymasters.
Prime Monster Serbia Smarmer isn't happy that the Office for Budget Responsibility, of which he used to be a huge fan in Opposition, isn't taking his word for the glorious future Uncle Bier keeps claiming he's creating.
   The OBR, he reckons, is being deliberately rotten to him because it keeps demanding proof, of which there never is any, to back up his endlessly optimistic claims.

The Scottish Fire & Rescue Service has issued an Extreme Risk alert for wildfiles across the whole of the country. So mind how you go!
This morning, Weather Control tried to inflict some rain on Romiley but made an utter bog of it. Maybe more in the afternoon now we have total cloud cover?

Serbia Smarmer still wants votes for 16-year-olds after ‘political education' has been added to the schools curriculum. More cash for the lawyers when the usual suspects try to give lessons a heavy far-Left bias?

Xperimenters in the Untied States have built 3 replicas of the species dire wolf, which went Xtinct 12,000 years ago.

Israel batters Gaza a lot more as part of its quest to turn the place into another occupied territory. Putinstan continues to find Xcuses for not beginning the 30-day cease fire with Ukraine.

Putinstan is running so short of troops to use against Ukraine that it is having to sneak in imports from China, blowing the Chinese regime's claim of neutrality out of the water.
North Korean troops & Yemeni mercenaries are also plugging gaps.

What he means ain’t what he sez
Serbia Smarmer claimed he's backing Britisch business to the hilt during the week when it started to be clobbered with the Freebie Reeves £25 BILLION increase in National Insurance payments.
   That's backing as in ‘over the edge of a cliff', is it, Uncle Bier?

70% of the nation thinks that a £1.70 first class stamp is unaffordable.
Not that anything will be done about this.

Q: Is there a climate crisis here in the UK and can we do anything about it if there is one?
A: No to everything. It's just crooks trying to create confusion, during which they hope to steal even more of your money.

More talk and still no action
Angular Robot to send in the Army? Like that's going to happen!
   The government's response to the ‘major incident' in Birmingham is to call in the Army, but just some of it. No troops will be sent to clear away the Unite union's mess, Uncle Bier is just get some military planners to sit in an office and do planning.
Some neighbouring councils are helping out by extending tip opening hours to let Birmingham residents take waste there.

“What we need is a new offence of indecent annoyance with a fixed-penalty fine of £20K for people who go into a restricted zone deliberately in order to harass others, either actively or passively.” N. Capsulate

Serbia Smarmer keeps telling us that the Nett Zero bollocks is the path to the jobs of the future. But what he keeps quiet about is that the jobs will be created in China.

There is also Serbia's plan to fine car manufacturers if they don't build as many electric vehicles as he wants, even if there's no market for them. The lawyer just don't get it.

A question they can’t answer
The companies recreating Xtinct animals have all sorts of plans for things like creating mammoths to stop global warming in the Arctic Circle. But there's one vital thing (at least) which they don't know how to do, and that's provide parents to teach their baby creatures how to survive in the wild as this knowledge is gone forever.
   Something to do with the Xtinction process.

Something else the NHS won't be able to afford to deliver is a womb transplant on demand following a woman born without one giving birth successfully after her sister supplied the womb.

Most of the people paying for his globe-trotting think Squeaker Hoyle should get a bus pass, not his own taxpayer-funded private jet, and that's it!

An unhealthy number of Britisch bosses seem determined to continue with the woke diversity crap, which the Trump regime is zapping so effectively in the Untied States.
   Which doesn't Xactly create much confidence in these looney-left bozos in a time of crisis created by our wonderfully looney-Left government.

Devolved Daftness
Welsh wokeness is demanding double names for villages with a name based on a local landmark of English origin. Thus some of the residents of Northrop Hall want to add Pentre-moch, or Pig Village, to the signs in the area as there were pig ranches in the area centuries ago.
   Naturally, the people with working brain cells find the idea appalling. But they are probably doomed to having to scowl and bear it with mindless fanatics around them.

Public Service Announcement He's been called the Blogger of the Decade His intellect is matched only by the size of his luck and the size of his bank balance. And yet he manages to keep his Feet On The Ground with the greatest of ease. Do yourself a favour and find out what Xavier has had to say about what's going on Right Now!

WEEK 3    Today’s crisis is nowt next to what tomorow has in store

The guess for the amount of rubbish piled up on the streets of Rat City, a.k.a. Birmingham, is now 21,000 tons. Whether this includes a guess for the rat component has not been disclosed.
The Labour council of Rat City has dug a £350 MILLION Brown Hole in the accounts.
The strike is now being described as vexatious as only 17 bin staff are involved in the proposed reduction in recycling. The Unite union is claiming 150 binpersons are involved.
In-fighting within the union & interference by its national leadership are getting in the way of a local settlement.

All talk Noos
President XL, who was going to end the Putinstani assault on Ukraine in a matter of days, is having no luck with getting his mate Putin the Poisoner to look even vaguely interested in a cease-fire as a start to a settlement.
Another current persistent delusion is that the UK government is days away from a trade deal with the USA. All talk, no action, that's Smarmer's Army.

Even more government insanity
As a result of Edstone Milipede being allowed to ban a new coking coal mine in the UK as a virtue-flagging Xercise, Britisch Steel is having to import the stuff from JAPAN to keep the steelworks @ Scunthorpe going. At a cost of £7.2 million.
   And the dithering about the future of the works goes on and on and bloody on.

The Hamas are using a UK law firm to claim that they have a ‘uman bluddy right not to be called terrorists, even if that's what they are.

Self-created unemployables
Employers are advised to give GenZ (18 to 28-year-olds) a miss as they have to look @ their pocket phone about every 2 minutes, which makes them unable to concentrate on a job of work.

“Bier Smarmer shouldn't be ordering Edstone Milipede to swallow his pride & reverse his Nett Zero lunacy. If he had any gutz, Smarmer would sack the useless nutter and get someone in his/her right mind in the energy minister job. But we are talking about Uncle Bier . . .” Omit Scobie

There are E Streggs and there are Large E Streggs! They just don't come any bigger! All sizes & types in stock at affordable prices! Grab 'em while you can! Romiley Delicacies, 221c Riverside Drive

Anyone who decides to drive somewhere @ the Easter weekend will have to be a bit of a nutter as the Xperts are predicting that the nation's roads will be packed with an Xtra 15% of bank holiday traffic.
Motoring organizations are Xpecting a busy time fixing breakdowns of inadequately prepared vehicles.

The latest silly story
An Iranian, appropriately known as BS, has escaped deportation for the umpteenth time in 9 years by persuading a judge that the stuff he puts on FakeBuk will make the Iranian authorities really eager to lock him up & torture him.
   Wot next?

President XL has been forced to Xclude pocket phones and computers from his tariff fest to avoid an uprising of outraged Americans!

Stand by to PANIC!!
Something else to panic about! If you don't take your shoes off at the front door, a gang of experts reckons, you track millions of particles containing stuff like pesticides into your home.
   Combinations of these pesticides cause cancers and all sort of other nasty stuff. As a result, you're doomed.
   Worse, cats and dogs also bring in particles, which means that their shoes need to be removed at the door and they need to be shampoo'd before admission.

First-class post is heading for ‘when it gets there' status, like second-class post, and it will cost even more than the current base of £1.70 if the Czech Vampire is allowed to pile billions of pounds of debt on to the Royal Mail by buying it with borrowed cash.

Looking the wrong way
The Bank of England is claiming that the Trump Slump tariff antics could put the UK's financial stability at risk. But is it likely that Trump will do anything that's more than minor compared to the trashing that Thievin Reeves & the rest of Smarmer's Army have already inflicted on our economy?
   Especially if Thievin & Smarmer are cosying up to the EFU for a trade deal which will really clobber us as revenge for Brexit.

Q: Our government sez ‘we will coolly & calmly negotiate'. Translation?
A: We will sit on our hands and look helpless, as usual.

Useless & Missing In Action, the voters say
The Labour MP for parts of Birmingham is so concerned about the rubbish crisis that he chose to Xtend a Parliamentary jolly in Japan last week with a personal holiday to coincide with the Commons' Easter recess, which runs until Tuesday of next week.
This is the same L. Byrne who left the note in the Treasury after the eviction of the Gordon F. Broon regime in 2010 warning that there was no money left.
“Angular Raygun brings in the Army? What BS.The government should be rounding up gangs of illegal immigrants and getting them to load the Birmingham garbage into lorries to be moved to nearby tips.” Andy Arkensaw

Prince Hairy's lawyer is trying to convince a court that his life is at stake if he doesn't get a taxpayer-funded private army to surround him when he visits the UK.
   To which the obvious response is that if he doesn't come here, he'll be okay, and if he chooses to put his life in danger deliberately, that's his lookout.

The Ministry of Justice is setting up an A.I. system to monitor dangerous criminals with the object of detecting when they are likely to do something really nasty. The Friends of Dangerous Criminals are outraged.
“Why not just bump the bastards off quietly to the benefit of the nation?” D. Mented

Q: Is Amazon boss J.B. Zos sending 6 female space tourists to the edge of space in a Blue Horizon capsule then landing them in Texas a great leap forward for personkind?
A: Nah, it's just a dear trick (as opposed to a cheap one) and a publicity stunt for the tourists, who will now claim to be astronauts.
“An 11-minute sub-orbital flight? Big effin deal. Deferably putting the 'ass' into astronaut.” Con Tiguous

The government is trying to blame a slump in the housing market on the Trump tariffs rather than the Thievin Slump due by her stamp duty grab, which is the actual cause.

Q: What's a good way to destroy 5 police cars?
A: Try to box in a speeding BMW to stop it on the A1 in the middle of the night.

Ukraine has its own version of Lt.-Colonel D. Stirling's SAS-prototype causing trouble inside Putinstan. They sneak in, get close to a target and report the success of strikes on it, then sneak back home.

How to lie with a picture
1. Show an image of the cooling towers @ the Drax power station.
2. Include the word ‘smoke' in the caption.
3. Keep quiet about the clouds billowing above the cooling towers being a mixture of steam and water vapour, not a product of combustion.
“None of which alters the fact that Drax is the most grievous green scam in the world & Edstone Milipede is to blame for it.” Watt D. Farook

It’s only taxpayers’ dosh
HM Inspectorate for Prisons in Scotland is demanding that the taxpayer coughs up for wigs & underwear for male prisoners who are claiming to be female.
   Sounds like some sackings in the ranks of the IP for S are long overdue.

Something for real women to cheer
The Supreme Court has ruled that being a woman is a matter of biology, not the whim of the moment.
   Which puts the transpicaters & their virtue-flagging cheerleaders in the same box as the likes of Flat Earthers. And leaves obstructive politicians without a licence to be perverse.

The fantasist Virginia Guff was spotted swanning around on the outskirts of Perth, Australia, 8 days after she claimed she had been given four days to live after being in a minor shunt, which just broke a tail light of her vehicle.

Labour councillors MUST NOT be held to account
Marsman Musk got it right at the beginning of the year when he accused Smarmer's Army of a cover-up of the activities of Moslem grooming gangs. It is now clear that the truth is too politically toxic for Labour to let it see the light of day. And that's why the 'inquiries' were watered down by Home Office minister J. Phillips just before Parliament broke up for its Easter recess.

“The UK government & the Chinese owners are faffing around & keeping the Scunthorpe steel plant on the edge of disaster. Don't you just wish Smarmer's Army could get a grip just once?” Locom O'Tive

The National Trust has had to put a ban on coaches taking people to the chalk cliffs @ Birling Gap in East Susses. Gangs of tourists are causing havoc to the areas above the cliffs whilst coastal erosion is eating them away.

1. Gangs smashed, 0
2. Boat people illegals arriving here, another record number.

Today’s Question:
Is putting people in gaol for the sin of posting stuff on anti-social meeja an assault on free speech & a major propaganda victory for dictatorships like Putinstan, where they don't lock people up, they just kill them instead?

WeightWatchers is going into bankruptcy. Helping people to eat sensibly just can't compete with injections of appetite suppressants.
London's cosmetic mayor is going ahead with the sell-out to the ASLEEP union of giving Tube train drivers a 4-day week for a salary that starts @ £64K.
Millionaire A. Banks, who is hoping to become a Reform UK cosmetic mayor for the West of England, reckons older people have way to much money. Which just confirms that being rich & successful is no barrier to talking like a twat.
Going for a cup of coffee in London is a bad idea if the price has gone up to £4/cup. But it's not as bad as New York, where the scalpers charge 8 bucks per cup.
VPOTUS Judy Vance has made more trade deals than you can shake a stick at.

Sherie with a quick splash
“If Birmingham council isn't paying wages to the bin strikers, how long will it take to clear the council's £350 million Brown Hole?” Keith Clouded
“Angular Robot called in the Army? Just a handful of planners Xaggerated into a regiment by a Labour fantasist.” Fred Winchester
“Anyone who thinks giving police forces diversity ratings will improve their service is a dangerous nutter, who needs to be locked up.” Matt U. Ration
“Londoners have promised to think about riding a bike if they see their Sadgeek of a cosmetic mayor doing it instead of swanning around in a £350K bullet-proof, gas-guzzling limo with a police escort.” Futt Therbill

Some weird goes around
Bangladesh has issued an arrest warrant for Labour's former City & anti-corruption minister Tulip Saddiq on corruption charges. Her aunt, who used to be prime monster of Bangladesh before being booted out, and other members of the family, are accused of helping themselves to £4 billion from a nuclear power plant scheme built by Putinstan.

HM Inspectorate of Constabulary for England & Wales will spend the next 2 years further reducing confidence in police farces with a load of diversity crap. Ethinic representation to trump ability @ every turn.

A spot of blame game
The Crown Prosecution Service caused the information vacuum, which led to the riots after the murder of those little girls in Southport last July. No one to be sacked.
“Helped by the Two-Bier justice handed out by the courts to support the PM's claim that it was a vast far-Right conspiracy against him.” S.M. Armer

Being the £300K boss of NHS England is a great job. Nine days in to it, he was off for a holiday in Portugal.

Today’s Question:
If Greece can borrow cash at a lower interest rate than the Untied States, why doesn't Pres. XL got Greece to borrow some cash, lend it to the US and split the difference in their respective interest rates?
   That way, America pays less, Greece gets a bit more and everyone is happy.

Bier Smarmer got a booting from the National Education Union conference for pretending that showing a mockumentary made by NeatFlix instead of education by teachers is the way to tackle misogyny in schools.
Typical bloody union—the NEU wants to abolish the Xcellent academy schools & put them back into the state sector and under the union's dead hand.

Wanted, a new gimmick for the Chelsea Flower Show. Ah! How about a garden for dogs to lark about in?

No surprise that the bin strike in Birmingham is all about a few dozen non-jobs of the sort on which Labour councils waste a ton of money on when trade unions are being unreasonable.

Even more phoney fiction
Treasury minister J. Murray is claiming that China is not a hostile state. As he did it right after the Chinese owners tried to shut down the Scunthorpe steel works to force us to buy virgin steel from them, it is clear that either Murray doesn't know what he's talking about or he's crap at telling lies. Something which seems usual among Labour ministers & MPs.
No surprise that Edstone Milipede is trying hard to sell us out to the Chinese & Bier Smarmer is letting him.
The Chinese are blaming Milipede's insane green taxes for making the energy needed by the Scunthorpe plant unaffordable and the business loss-making.

It will be an unhappy Easter weekend for those living in the South-East of England, Wales, the Isle of Man & Northern Ireland. They can Xpect a good drenching, and maybe floods & thunderstorms.
   Not wonderful weather for going somewhere an breaking down en route.
“You can tell the Labour lot are in charge of Weather Control.” Dan Geroose

Pres. XL, who claimed he could stop Putinstan's assault on Ukraine in a couple of days, is trying a new tactic. He sees ranting @ President Zelenskiy and accusing him of starting the war & killing billions of people and telling Ukraine to surrender as his best route to a stitch-up with Putin the Poisoner.

Our wonderful government's tactic of doing consultations rather than making vital changes has brought NHS cancer care to breaking point, the Xperts reckon.
We have been lied to since the 1990s. Mass immigration is cutting wages, not increasing GDP and making everyone but those with a nose in the public trough worse off.

More reckless endangerment
The government is making NHS GP patient files accessible to Chinese applicants. No sound & sensible reason for doing this is on offer. And, no doubt, the next Chinese plague will be more debilitating to us thanks to the tailoring information the virus brewers are getting.

Israel won't stop pounding Gaza & the Hamas won't submit to unilateral disarmament. And so the carnage goes on.

More selling in the direction of out
Another episode of Brexit betrayal is on the way. Instead of the EFU agreeing that our laws on food are the equivalent of theirs, it's demanding that the UK becomes rule-takers from them with no say in how the rules are formulated.
   Bier Smarmer is minded to go along with this. No one surprised.

Job vacancies are at their lowest level for 5 years thanks to the Thievin Budget tax grabs.

Q: Why is it that the libertine establishment leapt onto the transpicater bandwagon & claimed they should have special priorities?
A: Because those people are driven by an irresistible urge to be annoying & contrary, and they saw pushing the transpicater cause as an excellent way of doing both.
Q: Does burning Japanese & Australian coal not produce carbon dioxide?
A: Nope. Not in Edstone Milipede's fantasy world.
Q: Is a Labour government taking charge of a vital business which in the clutches of a malign foreign power likely to improve the situation?
A: Quite the reverse.

More if and maybe
Astronomers using data from the James Webb space telescope think they may have spotted chemicals characteristic of life in the atmoshere of a planet 124 light years away.
   But before you get excited about a planet that seems to be teeming with life, remember they're going to spend another year or two confirming the observation.
   It's rather surprising that anyone takes the 'are we alone' issue seriously any more, given the sheer size of the universe, and there are actually people eager for proof that life on Earth is not unique.
   Not that we're likely to get any visitors from this exoplanet if it's 8 times the size of Earth, covered in oceans and so close to its red dwarf primary that it whizzes round it in just 33 days.

Bought & paid for
Angela Ratner is getting a booting for plotting to hand even more power to Labour's paymaster trade unions to make it even easier for them to hold the general public to ransom

Today’s Question:
Was Vote Farage, Get Labour such a brilliant idea after all?

A general opinion among female celebs is that the Blue Horizon Six should be sent into space again, but not brought back this time!

Car mechanics are enjoying a boom due to what they're calling bodgeflation.
   That's DIY repairs botched by the customer, which end up costing a lot more to fix than going straight to a mechanic.

The cry baby culture gets going
The Metropolitan Police force got a booting for organizing an Easter egg hunt for a counter-terrorism unit. A Met spokes countered with the information that those involved do not deal with routine crimes & the hunt will take place in break time. So no loss of service to the taxpayer. Just the Usual Suspects being vexatious.

A local counterblast
The Chief Constable of Greater Manchester Police has taken a vigorous pop @ forces which lock up people for "guff" like complaining about their kid's school on the internet.
This trend is likely to get worse when Angela Ratner's ‘cry-baby' culture employment bill becomes law and the legal trade starts making another mint out of complaints from people with hurt feelings and scammers.

Not us, Gov!
The boss of the Unite union blames Angela Ratner for the failure to give her members a stonking pay rise, which Birmingham councillors think they don't deserve.
The union is getting a booting for posturing about the situation in Gaza at its annual conference instead of concentrating on the mess which it has created in Birmingham.

The NHS is going in for million-pound robots to provide precision work in certain types of surgery. The hope is a better repair and a faster ejection from hospital.

WEEK 4    What’s today’s Trump Bump?

 
President XL goes for the truth
US websites giving information about the Chinese plague vaccines, treatments & secondary conditions have been given a White House makeover. They now put the blame for everything on the leak from the lab in Wuhan.
   Creaky Joe Biden & the World Health Organization also get a good booting for their mishandling of the response to the pandemic. Being in China's pocket is not being accepted as an alibi for the WHO.

Sherie leaps back
“It comes as no surprise that trade unions are yelling that they will ignore the Supreme Court ruling on biological sex. It just confirms that they see their role as making trouble and being as impossible as they can.” Y.I. Yabooga
“There's a lot of that same attitude in the Labour party, especially in the Cabinet.” Joe E. Carillion
“Does the ailing Pope being obliged to meet VPOTUS Judy Vance count as a cruel & unusual punishment?” Sam Chopanza

If he was conscious at the time, which seems unlikely, Pope Francis must have shed the job with a sense of enormous relief. It certainly counts as a cruel and unusual punishment to expect an ailing ancient, chocked up by modern medicine, to struggle on to his last gasp.
   His ending makes the decision of Pope Benedict 16th to retire look all the more brave and sensible.
   As for a legacy, Pope Francis touched lots of people at an individual level but his office no longer has any power. A Pope can call for an end to wars in places like Gaza and Ukraine, and an end to climate change, but still they go on.

Scottish ambulance staff feel that their lack of rest time is putting them in a life-threatening position. So their union is going to hold a strike ballot to let them vote for a good rest.
“When you compare their working conditions with those of the managers who took away their breaks during the pandemic and haven't restored them, they have a point.” F. Airdoos

Pres. XL's clear-out has put thousands of pages of once classified stuff about the assassination of JFK in the public domain.
   What about the attack on the passenger airliner which crashed onto Lockerbie killing 270 people? Nothing.

Something else for us to worry about—A.I. systems which can do a Scots or other regional accent, which scammers can use for their assaults on us.

Israel has been forced to own up to wiping out that clearly marked Palestinian medical convoy with an unprovoked attack. Video of the convoy and the mass grave dug for the victims and their vehicles in an attempt to cover up the crime was just a bit too much to deny convincingly.

You don’t have to be mad to do this, but it must help
Boffins @ the University of California, Berkeley, have been firing laser pulses at their retinas. They claim they Xperienced a new colour. To which they have awarded the totally uninspiring name 'olo'.

Q: What's the difference between a road full of potholes and the Trump Bumps?
A: Not a lot, if you're hoping to get somewhere.

There’s feeble, and then there’s this
The brief for an Jew-hating Palestinian illegal wants a court to rule that he can't be prosecuted for entering the UK illegally if he wasn't steering the dinghy which was carrying him.
   Logically, if he was on the boat & coming here uninvited, he's an illegal. The tragedy is that there could be a judge who will go along with the brief's contention, given the current sorry state of our judiciary.

Scotland's First Meenister, J. Swinney, thinks making plans to tackle the imaginary far-Right threat is more important than addressing the actual problem of criminal gangs. Anything to avoid doing something useful, eh?

Nasty loses out
One big win for President Zelenskiy! He's getting a minerals deal with the US that pays for the aid Ukraine has received, not three times the actual amount, as Pres. XL was demanding. And might well have got, if he and his Vice hadn't chosen to humiliate Zelenskiy for the TV cameras earlier in the year.

Our gang-smashing government is on course for importing 10,000 boat people illegals before the end of this month.

How typical. A Lloyds bank boss cherishes & celebrates all the bank's transpicater employees. The rest, who are normal, don't count?

It has taken a week, but the backroom bods who tell Bier Smarmer what to pretend to think have decided that there are more votes in accepting the Supreme Court ruling on what women are than in challenging it.
   Bier seems to be leaving that up to his ministers.
   And it is understood that the Bier View is subject to change if it becomes more convenient to pretend to favour Xclusive rights for transpicaters.

Irresistible?
Former Tory, now Reform UK Dame A. Jenkyns, is being swatted off the list of candidates for cosmetic mayor of Lincolnshire for pulling the Ginger Ratner trick of picking a convenient one of multiple addresses. She doesn't actually live in the country but was ready do it the favour of moving her base of operations there if elected, was her story.

Gooble is being swatted down to size for illegally operating an advertising monopoly on online markets. The US Department of Justice has announced that it is seeking to level the playing field, increase competition & prevent Gooble from making monopoly deals with phone companies & racking up even more ill-gotten gains from illegally acquired advantages.

The Usual Suspects are trying to confect a Tory coup story after MP R. Jenkin made a bog of telling members of a WhatsCrApp group that he's running for charity in the London Marathon.

No sell-out ever shunned?
The Asphalt Industry Alliance reckons it would cost £17 BILLION to fix all the potholes in the roads in England & Wales.
   How much is Bier Smarmer's Chagos Betrayal going to cost us?
   £18 BILLION. Enough to get the job done and give Thievin Reeves a billion quid of slack in her fudged accounts.
   Something to keep reminding Uncle Bier of at every opportunity.

The amazement factor of gases produced only by marine life forms on Earth being found in the atmosphere of a water world 124 light years distant has been diluted considerably. It could be just one of 200 trillion planets capable of supporting life as we know it in some form.
   Untick the box for ‘special'.

What drop in oil prices?
Not here in Romiley.

Rights only where most trouble can be made?
Everyone in the country, silent majority as well as noisy minorities, has rights; the same ones. Which means that transpicaters are not entitled to have additional ones on fairness grounds.
   Not that fairness is ever a consideration when a Labour government is doing one of its stitch-ups.
“One big benefit of the Supreme Court ruling is that it shut Bier Smarmer right up.” Zes P. Cater

Eye permanently off the ball
The Metropolitan Police are putting circular plaques on walls near where a member of the public had a phone stolen as an alternative to doing anything about phone thefts.
“Getting out in the streets to install the plaques probably makes a nice change from making up lists of things that aren't crimes.” U.R. Nikt

Not something anyone’s buying
There's some pathetic buck-passing going on as companies shift from a pro-transpicater stance to a lawful one. The most prethetic Xcuse for a big online company ditching an organization which dares to promote women's rights is an attempt to blame it all on a free-lance minion, who no longer works for the company, rather than the woke bosses.

“How like Bier Smarmer to pollute St. George's Day with more of his BS about the imaginary far-Right.” R. Avishol
“The only way to reclaim St. George's Flag from those who sow division is to reclaim it from Serbia Smarmer.” Dan Jeruss
“Serbia has spent his whole life attacking Britisch culture. He has Nett Zero credibility left.” L.B.W. Oot

Another reason for not buying undersized & overpriced Toblerone bars—the dark chocolate version has been axed in the UK for no apparent reason.
[To be replaced by baked bean flavour? Ed.]

back to the fiction factory . . .
Labour lairds are worried about the damage Reform UK can do in the coming elections by weaponizing Labour's shutdown of North Sea oil & gas production, forcing both to be imported.
   Bier Smarmer is claiming it's something Labour won the election on. With 20% of the electorate on their side? There's BS and there are Bier's fantasies.

Reality bite
The boss of the GMB union, another of Labour's paymasters, isn't helping Bier by dismissing his Nett Zero stuff as ‘bonkers' and the claim that the shift to occasional sources of energy will create 600,000 jobs. "Yeah, in China."
“Smarmer is pretending there will be a phased & responsible transition in the North Sea. The first is possible, but the second is a no-hoper. Labour never does responsible.” Kliefer Oben

Ice cream manufacturers are bunging any old crap into their products, knowing that there will be young nutters who will buy it. Custard flavoured sounds rather harmless. But baked bean? Soy sauce?

Better quality control needed
Holding parents responsible when their kids behave badly @ school is such a no-brainer. Even so, a teaching union is having to urge head teachers to bloody do it. Which doesn't say much for the quality of the people in charge of schools these days.
Just wibble from the inevitable Education Dept. spokes.

There could/maybe/might be 2 million drivers on Britain's roads with eyesight so bad that they could/maybe/might cause a lethal crash at any moment.

Where are they now?
Not a word about Labour bankroller Lord Alli recently. Being discreet? Or has he zoomed off to pastures new where he hopes to be more appreciated?

Oxygen, the gas in the atmosphere, gives you life.
O₂, the company, doesn't.

Mass migration grows crime rates
Labour's Xcuse for not revealing the crime rates of migrants is that it's not being done to avoid stoking rachel tensions.
   When you see what's available in the way of statistics, the real reason becomes clear.
   It's to avoid admitting that Bad Guys make up a large proportion of the migrants Labour lets into the country so casually.

The General Medical Council is working hard to prevent female patients from knowing if they are being treated by a bloke claiming to be female.

Esso petrol 134.9p/litre in Romiley.
Esso diesel 139.9p/litre.

Today’s Question:
Wot use is a bloke who doesn't kno how to eat a bacon butty?
[Clue: none would be a good answer. Ed.]

Mr. Farage from the garage is making binning Edstone Milipede's Nett Zero garbage the Next Big Cause after Brexit. Which he won.

Aqueous analogies are the trend for our PM. He is weak as water, he couldn't run a bath, etc.
   No surprise, really, if he's a lawyer who has to be told what his view is on any given ishue @ a particular time.
   And if he has a backroom making up all his stuff, when the wheels come off, it's their fault not his.

Another Labour betrayal on the way
Firms which employ Armed Forces veterans will lose the associated tax break if Thievin Reeves make an even bigger bog of her job and needs to raise more cash.
Something to remember during the 80th anniversary of VE-Day next month. That not all of the enemies are without, there are lotz within.

Nasty is as nasty does
Lest we forget, Trivial leader E Gravey may pretend to be on the side of Mr. Bates & others done over by the Post Office Horizon scandal.
   But he remains the Post Office Minister who let Horizon happen. And who refused to meet Mr. Bates. And who took £275,000 in legal fees from the Post Office when he was helping to persecute the likes of Mr. Bates.

Incompetence Rulz, Nokay
It kind of takes the shine off the virtue flagging when Labour ministers release a version of their tax return for 2023/24 which includes an MP's salary 10 grand less than what they were actually paid.
“How come they weren't prosecuted for tax fraud? A word in the right ear at the right time?” Trig O'Metric

How does FakeBuk disclaim responsibility for pirating works by Britisch authors? Their story is that it's a gang of pirates operating in Putinstan who do the actual theft, and they pass on their trawlings to Meta's A.I. program.

Prison guards are demanding the protection of units with tasers when they have to deal with violent criminals. They could also be used on brain-dead ministers who give violent convicts access to boiling oil & materials which and be turned into weapons.
“What sort of a twat thinks giving prison officers stab vests ‘militarizes' prisons & creates an environment which is traumatizing for the prisoners?” Adan $mok

Both Eyes Shut
If Smarmer ministers start trying to undermine the Supreme Court ruling on what is a woman, the Downing Street Mafia goes straight into denial & claims they're not doing it.

Making a real meal of it
The Catholic Church will have a new Pope in a matter of weeks. Meanwhile, the Church of England, which has been rudderless since ArchyBish Wetby got the boot last November, won't even start the selection process until next month. And it will drag on and on into the autumn.

Self-inflicted damage
Nitrous oxide abusers are giving themselves severe frostbite of the thighs by holding the canisters between their legs when they fill balloons for later inhalation. Mainly women are affected & the wounds take 4 months to heal.

Labour MPs have shamed Edstone Milipede into banning goods from China made with materials produced by slave labour. Just how effective the ban will be remains doubtful, given the degree of obfuscation of origin that could be achieved.

Home Sec. Pixie Balls has been shamed into releasing league tables of foreign criminals. ‘By the end of the year'. So no great sense of urgency.

The IMF has lowered its guess for economic growth in the UK to 1.1% and dumped the blame where it belongs. On Thievin Reeves rather than Pres. XL.

Too busy doing nothing useful?
The government is doing nothing about Hamas supporters spreading their anti-Israel propaganda in schools. The members of the National Education Union are leading the way. But the NASUWT has just made a former fireman its boss; a fat lot he's going to know about education; and he's another of the anti-Israel propagandists.

Not a record to be proud of
Our wonderful Chancellor has created a new world record. The cost of servicing the mountain of debt she's created reached £4.3 BILLION in March. The highest level for that month since records began.
Her borrowing binge for the tax year 2024/25 of £152 BILLION is the third biggest since 1947 & shows that her fully costed plans are lying in tatters around her ankles.

Edstone Milipede's back-tracking on solar stuff with slave labour content was triggered by one of the biggest Labour backbench rebellions ever. Looks like there is some decency @ the back of the party even if they're none at the front.

The government is to blow £50 million our money on a scam to reflect the Sun's rays away from the Earth to stop gorbal warmage. The ideas include deploying vast amounts of aerosols in the atmosphere & adding sea salt particle to clouds.
   This is yet another part of Labour's delusion that the UK can control the global climate.

Something else our wonderful Labour government is failing to do is make a dent in the backlog of driving tests. It's now 50% higher than it was a year ago.
   Another failure is a booking system which lets wise guys use a bot to make block bookings, which they can sell on to desperate punters.

Its Digital Marketing Act is proving to be a useful source of revenue for the EFU. Apple & Meta are being done for the equivalent of a total of £600 million for breaking the rules on competition & user choice. Pres. XL will not be pleased!

The Science Secretary is considering an online equivalent of the TV watershed for under-16s due to the impact of anti-social media have on their lives. He is monitoring TikTok's 10 p.m. curfew for children to see how effective it is.

China has one million Uighur Moslems in its slave-labour re-educations camps.

The government & its legal minions are getting a good booting for handing out compensation to the victims of the Post Office's Horizon scandal at less than a snail's pace. The charges include deliberate over-complication & vexatious fighting of the size of the larger claims.
   Legal action against the government is now being seen as the only way forward for those being messed about by cynical lawyers.

Despite universal disapproval, Serbia Smarmer is still looking for a way to let Big Tech use pirated material for free to train its A.I. systems—literary works & music.

The linking of deafness to dementia has succeeded only in dismaying those seeking a hearing test & finding themself @ the tail end of a queue that's up to 2 years long.
   Good intentions, not that good outcome.

So much for his place in history
Pres. XL's plan for ending the war in Ukraine has been described as worse than the Munich Agreement of 1938, which gave the Sudetenland to Nazi Germany. Which was followed by the grab of the whole of Czechoslovakia 6 months later.
   Trump's deal is a total sell-out of Ukraine, Professor Fawn of St. Andrews University reckons. But his repeated monstrous misrepresentations of the war & attacks on Pres. Zelenskiy are likely to have strengthened Ukraine's resolve.
   Ukraine deserves to have the support of right-minded nations, even if the list no longer includes the USA.

The animal rights lobby is campaigning to make greyhound racing illegal in Scotland, which should ensure the virtual Xtinction of the racing dogs.

Pakistan is trying to start a small border war with India in Kashmir as a follow-up to a terror attack in India. Some ammo Xpended by both sides on consecutive nights. & lots of the usual accusations flying about.

Millions in Sweden have little to do other than watch TV coverage of the country's moose population migrating.

WEEK 5    Putin the ‘phew’ into funeral

 
Two Islamist terrorists busted for throwing red power around on Tower Bridge during the London Marathon. That's going to do wonders for their cause.

Not that much accountability
No surprise! The bod in charge of the Aria sun-blocking climate scam isn't a climate scientist & totally immune to freedom of information requests about what the outfit is doing and what Xactly it's blowing the £50 million Uncle Bier coughed up on.
It's ludicrous that they will be able to create a sun-reflecting layer that won't be blown to bitz by the jetstream.
All the Labour apologists have on offer is wibble & lots of chat about consultations instead of anything useful.

Home Sec. Pixie Balls is letting an Islamist hate preacher do a tour of the UK. No reason on offer for why he's been allowed to tell his customers that cutting off hands is a great idea, even though it's totally illegal here.

Just more betrayal
Bier Smarmer is considering relaxing visa rules to allow youth mobility from the EFU. Attached is a scam which prevents the visitors from showing up in migration statistics & betrays Brexit further.

Mr. Farage from the garage has screeched into a U-turn. Last September, he declared it literally impossible to deport all visa overstayers.
   Now, he's all revved up to get shot of every illegal in the UK.

Regulation betrayal
Ofcom's new online safety rules have been Xposed as being all about boosting the profits of Big Tech @ the Xpense of children's safety.
The Children's Commissioner has administered a severe booting to Ofcom's pathetic scam. The Tech Sec. is also in the firing line for cosying up to Big Tech in USA as part of Bier Smarmer's plan to sell out UK copyrightholders rights

More insanity sanctioned by Smarmer
Edstone Milipede's plan to turn energy pricing into a postcode lottery is still getting a vigorous booting from all sides. He is also under fire for letting sham ‘green' companies like Drax mark their own homework to conceal the lack of value for money & green credentials on offer to the taxpayer.

Milipede is trying to deny that energy price tiers was ever anything to do with him. But making his usual bog of being convincing.

"It's all about bullying blokes peeing on lamp posts to mark out their territory." That's the verdict on the 'bloke in a frock with a cock' set.
“It's never women who want to be blokes who cause the trouble, it's always the blokes in frocks. And the mob who want to give transpicaters special privileges.” Hot Summers

Not so bloody petty
Retailers lose £2.2 BILLION per year to the (gangs) of thieves who strole in, grab and just stroll out again. The police claim this is petty crime, even when a vanload of stuff is grabbed, & use that as an Xcuse to ignore it in favour of logging imaginary non-crimes.
   What is the Home Sec. doing about this? As much as she's doing about stopping the small boats & smashing the gangs, i.e. bugger all.

More dumbing in the direction of down
Cambridge University will stop posting exam results when the customers can see them & stop telling the customers their position in the rankings.
   This is to stop the bright ones from overworking and to avoid damaging the mental ‘elf of the duffers.
   It's the outcome of the dumbling down of Xams, which began under John Major & tony b. liar. Everyone gets a sweetie, even if they don't deserve it.

Not such a daft idea after all, Bier
Pres. XL is dumping undesirables in Rwanda. It's the ideal place to send the likes of Iraqi terrorists whom the bleeding hearts insist can't be returned to their country of origin.
“Mucho egg on the mush of Bier Smarmer, who binned the scheme he inherited from the Tories and wasted a billion quid, or so.” Jacques Boot

Thievin Reeves goes to the US to get a trade deal on the cards; only to start telling people that Smarmer's Army is more interested in a deal with the EFU to allow Labour to betray Brexit even more.

Extinction reversal, sort of
A company in the US is planning to create a leather substitute with the texture of T-Rex skin using genetic material from the dinosaur. The fabric will be used by the fashion trade to create luxury goods for people who want to pretend they're being environmentally responsible by buying the synthetic material at a fancy price.

Pres. XL is doing a Milipede-style ‘not me, Guv' by claiming he was only joking when he said he could end the war in Ukraine in a day.
The conclusion from Pres. XL's first 100 daze in office? America is being run by banana Republicans.
   More a political millstone than a milestone

No surprise that a theatre director who wants a ban on plays by men for a year is female & American.

Below the line mission statement: Some of this is true, maybe, but probably not the parts that seem most real and most likely as we use current standards of elasticity where facts are concerned.
   We are constantly exposed to dodgy conclusions drawn from dodgy data by jumped-up 'experts', especially the ones found in the world of politics and particularly those at the Treasury and running trade unions.
   Some of us civilians at BFN like to join in to let them know that anyone can do it and we ain't impressed by their efforts.

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Created for Romiley Anarchists' League by workers in revolt against oppression to set the record straight in the 3rd millennium. © RAL, April MM25 like anyone cares.