Attention all copyright pirates: If you steal from us, we will feel entitled to help ourselves to anything we fancy of yours. It’s only fair. R.A.L.

WEEK 1    Living in fear of the far-Right being . . . right!

 
It is now March, which begins for the Met Office with the end of its garbage concept meteorological winter. Real people kno that real winter doesn’t end until the spring equinox, 3 weeks in to March.

Bier Smarmer has had to send a lengthy memo to the members of his Cabinet ordering them to stop looking down on working class people because it bolsters Reform UK and makes him look bad.

Smarmer’s Next Betrayal?
The most likely one is letting the EFU back into our coastal waters to hoover up the fish we protected after Brexit.
   Probably with Dippy Dave lending a helping hand.

Apple has been forced to switch off its data encryption tool to let the government, & hackers, access everything the user stores via a pocket phone without needing a warrant.

Rhubarb is the latest Big New Thing. It is going into everything from gin, vodka, washing up liquid, candles, hot-X buns & paper, to anything anyone can come up with.

Trump picks a fight with President Zelenskiy of Ukraine @ a televised meeting @ the White House. No minerals deal. No nothing.
“That was Trump doing a master class in The Art of Avoiding a Deal yesterday. Be a jerk, pick a fight with the other guy, no chance in Hell of a deal.” G. Obsmackt

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Failed Maths O-Level?
Smarmer's sums on Defence spending don't add up. £13 billion is being removed from the Defence budget in the current financial year. And his claim that an Xtra £13.4 billion will go to Defence from 2027 on is an obvious fantasy. No one surprised.

“On entering the Treasury, Thievin boasted she knew how to run the economy. She just forgot to add ‘into the ground'.” Mom P. Tissue

Reality bites again
Now that Pax Americana has turned into Pox On Everyone Else, we have a viable way forward. Toss Edstone Milipede into a deep, dark hole and use the trillions he wants to splurge on Nett Zero crap on building up our defences & providing reliable energy using the resources around & under the Britisch Isles.
   You kno it makes sense and that wind & solar farms are just subsidy munchers which produce electricity that's ridiculously overpriced using kit which is neither green nor clean. And neither are the concrete foundations on which the kit is parked.
   As for the green jobs bonanza—that's just another Labour fantasy.

Neither use nor ornament
Does Edstone Milipede really need to put on the public payroll ‘advisors' who think the world is going through a mass Xtinction? How can they possibly make the deranged Edstone even nuttier than he is now?
Predictably, the ‘advisors' have sanitized their online past in an attempt to appear to be normals.

The bloke who stabbed the author S. Rushdie 15 times has been convicted of attempted murder. The world reels in astonishment @ a court getting something right for once.
[Wait for the appeal, the cynics are saying. Ed.]
White Van Man, much despised by Labour luvvies like Lady Nugee Thornberry, could be a person of consequence. One-third of them went to a grammar or private school, and almost half of them have a degree. Driving a white van is their lifestyle choice.
The Chinese virus factory in Wuhan has come across a coronavirus strain in bats with the potential to kill 33% of those infected, if it can jump species to humans. Or be made to.
Immigrants from primitive African countries are getting the blame for inflicting witchcraft on their children at an increasing rate.

Today’s Question:
Is K. Badenuff, the Tory leader, as boring as Bier Smarmer? And as good @ spouting lotz of words without actually saying anything?
[Audio constipation, is how a mimic describes Smarmer. K.B. too? Ed.]

The Idiots of the Month award for February has gone to the parish council @ Corton, near Lowestoft, for trying to prevent people from taking their clothes off @ Corton beach, which was declared a nudist beach by East Suffolk Council in the 1970s.

No more Mr. Nice Guy
President Strangelove has concluded that the EFU was created just to screw the Untied States and he's going to slap a 25% tax on all imports from the EFU in retaliation.
“Was Trump being the XL Bully with President Zelenskiy part of a plan to shed America's leadership of the West and establish another Axis of Freedom in a Europe forced to defend itself against Putinstan without help from the Uncle Sam, who now sees himself as Uncle Sucker?” Giva Rattenkrantz

Generational commitment
It took the UK 61 years to pay off our bill to the United States after 6 years of World War II. 30.5 years of payments in store for Ukraine to do the same for their war with Putinstan? Let us hope the minerals last out.
“The ‘Putrid is blackmailing Trump over his business deals in Putinstan in the 1980s' story looks like running & running. Trump, being Trump, doesn't seem at all bovvered by it.” B.Y. Stander

Edstone Milipede is being accused of being in Putin the Poisoner's pocket by preventing fracking & recovery here of shale gas, a vital asset that's 100% under our control.
Belief in global Nett Zero being achieved by 2050 is down to 16% among the bosses of the energy industry.
A spokes for the Dept. of Energy announced that the only way to protect current & future generations (of foreigners) is by leading global climate action (so that foreigners can see what a catastrophe the Milipede approach is).
“Milipede's way of setting an example to the world is like someone deciding he can cut the amount he spends on shoes in half by chopping one of his legs off. And then being amazed when the rest of the world laughs at the struggle poor old hoppy is having to get around.” Pes Imist

Oh, dear! Another of Thievin's fantasies has been Xposed.
   She's not a chess grand master. The reality is that she's quite the reverse. Her game is to faff about & establish a losing position without delay, and then keep on faffing about until the inevitable checkmate.
“Just a thought, but that £22 billion Brown Hole that Thievin was going on about—could it be the one Gordon F. Broon created when he depressed the world price of gold & sold off half of our stocks @ what became a loss of over £20 billion?” Half A. Scaregill

Another reason for banning the interweb:
Spivs in Africa are offering bushmeat contaminated with the ebola virus to suckers who want something exotic & not available legitimately here. Foot & mouth, anthrax, TB & cholera-infected meat is also on offer.

Q: What do you get if you're a Labour MP who batters a constituent when in a drunken rage, all filmed on CCTV?
A: A 10-week gaol sentence. Suspended on appeal.
Q: In other words, away with it?
A: In one.

Crumbs! Another Reeves fantasy
In 2023, she told the world that consultants to government departments must demonstrate value for money. But how much value did we get out of the best part of a billion quid blown by our wonderful Labour government on consultants in the latter half of 2024? Clue: The economy is in a catastrophic state.

Sherie offers several of pearls of wisdom
“Smarmer's big problem is that no one trusts a 'uman bluddy rights lawyer as everyone knows they will swear black is blue if someone waves cash under their nose. Same with Lord Shirker.” Bjorn McGorn
“J.D. Vance is right. The biggest threat we face is from the traitors within rather than enemies without. Although, where Trump & Vance are concerned, it's a close-run thing.” Eleven Borgnine
“Only a Labour government could think its reasonable to change copyright law to allow tech firms to scrape intellectual property for free to feed their A.I. systems. That's the sort of people the Labour lot are. No morals, no social conscience, no qualms about stealing other people's cash or letting spivs do it.” Herman Karandash
“When it comes to selling his country, Bier knows only two ways—short & out.” Vera Cross
“When they concrete over the fracking sites in England, can the PM arrange for Edstone Milipede to be down one of the holes when the concrete is poured?” D. O'Shanblida

In an attempt to placate farmers following the theft of their inheritance tax exemptions, Enviromint Sec. S. Reed has ruled that @ least 50% of the cash spent on public sector catering must go on Britisch-sourced products.

Scottish judges are claiming that they are overworked, underpaid and underappreciated. No one surprised.

Still more from Sherie
“Any 'stepping up' in the face of the threat from Putinstan will have to be done by individual leaders of Europeon countries as the management of the EFU seems to be too busy with the task of moving subscriptions into the pockets of the crooks & scroungers gaming its systems to be bothered about anything else.” Passed Rami
“America first, Putinstan second, everyone else nowhere. That's the message from President XL Bully.” Des Pirate
“That's really going to wind President XL up. President Zelenskiy has no problems with meeting our King but the bloke on the other side of the Atlantic is going to have to wait his turn.” Bash Talverize

A Jamaican judge involved in the Chagos ruling is demanding £18 TRILLION in slavery repayments. Nothing to do with historical or modern slavery, just a pot of gold to shove in the pockets of crooks & scroungers.
Dave the Leader, when Foreign Sec., saw the Chagos ruling as a scam but subsequent ministers betrayed us on and up to Dippy Dave, the worst of the lot.
“If Europe is going to have to stop freeloading on America for its Defence against Russia Putinstan, then it's only right that the rest of the world stops freeloading on the UK via foreign aid.” Des Perado

Marsman Musk is predicting that AfD will win a majority in the 2029 German elections. Is he planning to shower them with millions of dollars to help them on their way? Or will he turn his back on them next week. Probably, the latter.

75% of snivel servants will admit that the 3 days in the office regime is a total failure and that their productivity continues to decline.
   Their trade union; Surprise!; wants even more Shirk @ Home & sod productivity.

Failure followed by . . . failure
Violent crimes on London's Tube network have been increasing relentlessly ever since Sadgeek K'han't became the capital's cosmetic mayor in 2016.
   2023 set a new world record with the violent crime count up about 52% on 2022's numbers.
   The Geek is also the city's Police & Crime Commissioner. But obviously not much of one. Maybe he should be concentrating on policing instead of offering ludicrous invitations to President XL to come & visit him.

The DoomBuggers are warning that the medical world is slipping back into complacency & yakking instead of learning from the Chinese plague.
   They confidently Xpect the next global pandemic to be more lethal & more transmissible, and the medical & political trades to be totally useless @ reacting to the new threat.
[Especially here if we have a Labour government. Ed.]
As usual, the DoomBuggers; each separate camp of them; think their proposed strategy is the right one and every other strategy is the wrong one.

Cash Power
BP's investors are forcing the company bosses to ditch green bollocks and plans to cut oil & gas production, which can be only a good thing, given that the government's Nett Zero advisers have admitted that we will fall a long way short of our needs with fracking and North Sea extraction banned.
[Edstone Milipede is quite happy to put us at the mercy of foreign fossil fuel suppliers. How he must hate the UK. Ed.]

Kreepy Maths from December 2021: 368 MPs voted in favour of President Boris' latest Chinese plague restrictions and 156 couldn't be arsed to vote. That's a total of 70% of the Commoners.
   But Sirk Reepy Steamer was trying to spin that as a defeat for President Boris.
[Get out of that! Ed.]

More Pie in the Sky
A research group in Germany is studying hormones to come up with at treatment to prevent wrinkles from forming & hair from going grey with age. Results are Xpected
. . . sometime in the future.

Dam’ Fine Scam!
Instead of the government & local authorities doing their job and creating effective flood defences, the plan now is to release beavers at strategic points to build green dams to deal with a local flooding problem.
   And if there is any flooding, it's the fault of the beavers, not the politicians! Cute, or what!

Attention those hoping to witness an asteroid strike
The spoilsports @ NASA & the Europeon Space Agency have revised the odds of the asteroid 2024 YR4 of hitting The Planet from 3% down to 0.001% (ESA) and 0.0027% (NASA).
NASA is putting the odds of a pre-Xmas impact with the Moon on 2032/12/22 @ 1.7%. But it will probably be on the far side, if it happens, Just to be annoying.

It's called Artificial Intelligence, but if we live in an age when 'police' forces ignore real crimes & focus on non-crimes, how reliable is that 'intelligence' tag?

Sneakiness is the key
Europe is boycotting Marsman Musk's electric cars in response to his shift to enemy status. Curiously, the sales are going to another enemy, China, which is less overt when it meddles in Europeon polyticks.

One lie after another
Edstone Milipede is gaslighting UK consumers. Energy prices are sky high because of ginormous subsidies going to occasionals; not, as the lying bastard Milipede claims, because of higher gas prices. Not that you can Xpect anything other than incoherence & treasonous policies from the bloke who is doing us out of shale gas & our offshore oil & gas because Bier is letting him.

President XL is doing creative destruction
That's the current alibi. More likely, it's random destruction with the stuff that doesn't work being conveniently forgotten.
   But the performance aimed at Ukraine contains a HUGE element of President Roosevelt taking a ton of flesh from Britain after World War II and the Untied States keeping us paying for 61 years.
King Chuck's invitation to visit was made @ the request of Bier Smarmer, who made a meal out of presenting the letter to President XL. Now that the wheels have come off, Sirkreepy is trying to pretend it's nothing to do with him. No one surprised.

Treachery comes naturally to traitors
1. Throw away the Chagos Islands & £18 billion.
2. Keep the Chagos & spend the £18 billion on the Defence of the UK.
   Which will Smarmer do? No prizes for picking option 1.
There is an option 3. Take the rent on Diego Garcia out of the Defence budget so that the claimed increase in this budget becomes even more of a fantasy.
If President XL is now apparently unconcerned by the £18 billion Chagos betrayal by Bier Smarmer, it could be because every failure of another leader makes him look better in comparison.
“If so, Bier is making him look like the best POTUS anyone could hope for.” X. Onerate

Be the boss, get your way
Amazon boss & rocketman J.B. Zos has outraged the far-Left in the Untied States by announcing that The Washington Post will shift its editorial policy to focus on support for personal liberties & free markets.
   Anyone who supports oppression & controls will have to read stuff on the internet from now on.

Nothing like a spot of popularity
The poisonous VPOTUS, J.D. Viper, was chased out of a ski resort in Vermont after he & his family arrived on the day after the assault on Pres. Zelenskiy & Ukraine @ the White House.
   Massed protesters advised the ‘Nazi scum' to go and ski in Putinstan.

The government is still getting an enormous booting over its plan to endorse copyright theft by foreign A.I. firms.

Aston-Martin is back-stacking the launch of its fully electric car from next year to the end of the decade. The market is more receptive to battery/petrol hybrids @ the moment.

Labour's ban on petrol & diesel cars will create an £8 billion Brown Hole in the national tax revenues, the Climate Change Committee has calculated.
It is no secret that the scam will have Nett Zero measurable effect on the global climate. It will just mean that electric vehicles will have to be taxed to bridge the yawning gap, making them even more unaffordable.
Greenpeas UK & other climate activists are getting a booting for failing to grasp that there is no solution to their climate crisis on offer in the UK.
The CCC is also getting a booting for failing to realize that the biggest industrial economies have binned Nett Zero B.S.

Medical schools are putting patient safety concerns on hold by accepting students from an unfortunate background with lower grades in the name of diversity.

60% of those polled by the firm Ipsos think prison sentences are not long enuff. The government is doing one of its reviews to 'justify' reducing prison sentences even more.
   An opinion emerged from the review last month to the effect that previous governments (Tory) have been increasing gaol sentences as a 'knee jerk' reaction & being tough on crime has brought the prison system to the verge of collapse.
   This serves to remind us of the knee jerked by our PM following the riots in the wake of the Southport child murders after the government chose to conceal the identity of the killer.
Respondents to the survey also agreed that keeping bad guys in gaol longer has the significant effect of protecting society from them. Not something that concerns the Labour party evidently.

Kept confidential
Local councils sticking a Green badge on their scams to justify reducing the frequency of refuse collections have created an epidemic of fly-tipping.
   Most councils are being very coy about whether the amount saved by reducing collections covers the cost of clearing fly-tips.

Firms involved in the demise of Grenfell Tower via its flammable cladding COULD be banned from future public sector deals. A mere 8 years after the event. No unseemly rush, then.
“What about the bloke who started the fire with his dodgy fridge? Is he being banned, too?” Kup Pattee

Private enterprise in space
The Blue Ghost lander, sent to the Moon by Firefly Aerospace, touched down successfully on the first Sunday of this month, the first such attempt by a private company. The lander was sent on its way in January by a SpaceX launcher.
   The vehicle, now in the Mare Crisium, contains 10 experiments for NASA, which has given up on rocketry & lunar flights. $145 million for the deal.
   The planned 60-day mission aims to analyze lunar regolith, study geophysical characteristics, and investigate interactions between the solar wind and Earth's magnetic field.

gary bloody lineker is so desperate to be noticed that he is backing the campaign to force the BierBC to put the recent Hamas propaganda documentary back on its iPlayer service. Upsetting gbl and his fellow campaigners is being taken as proof that the BierBC got it right for once by parking the item.

More Two Bier Justice
How strange that the Metropolitan Police can set limits on the number of tractors doing a Farmers' Pancake Day rally in London but they're okay with letting Hamas supporters clog the streets at will.
“It's not as if the farmers will be chucking petrol bombs around as they were in Athens in current protests about the fatal train crash involving toxic waste two years ago.” R.E. Cucler

A Polish drug dealer can't be sent there on ‘uman bluddy rights grounds, a judge has ruled. He's claiming he can't speak Polish. Send the judge instead?
“The fucqer is a drug dealer. He shouldn't be allowed to stay here. Tell him to bloody well learn Polish in Poland.” X. Porter

Today’s Question:
Is it virtue flagging or virtue flogging in the sense of offering a scam from which the purveyors Xpect a tidy profit.

“We don't seem to be hearing anything about Lord Squirmer any more. Has he been sidelined? Or has the Labour party learned to suppress news of everything he's up to now?” H.T.S.
[Lord Alli also seems to have been varnished. Ed.]

The big problem with having a summit of 18 Europeon countries is that there will be a scattering of saboteurs. Which means no unanimity & the authority it conveys and little chance of anything meaningful coming out of the jamboree & day out.
   And the quality of the people who would end up leading the way doesn't Xactly inspire confidence. Smarmer's Europeon ‘allies', for instance, don't think he's capable of running a bath.

WEEK 2    Unction pumps to maximum, Bier!

 
Cash go round
Stealing the Winter Fuel Payment from pensioners has resulted in an 81% increase in claims for pension credit, which gives some help. The government is keeping very quiet about how much of the cash stolen from pensioners is going on the surge of bureaucracy created by the PC claims.
   "We are absolutely committed to ensuring that every pensioner is supported," said a DWP spokes. Which is obviously B.S.

Our Justice Sec. went on nothing more than a freebie jolly in Texas. The story was that she was looking at their system of giving discounts from prison sentences but as the Texan justice system is vastly more severe than ours; it still includes the death penalty; cherry picking bits of it to use here is impossible, the Xperts reckon.

The Tech. Sec., P. Kyle, has declared his support for the copyright payments betrayal & allowing scraping for free by A.I. firms. No one surprised.
More Two-Biers for the A.I. industry. The government's 'consultation' has officially ended but any tech companies that want to post something @ the back door can do so.

Make
America
Grot
Atrociously

More crossed fingers at the time of delivery
Bier Smarmer's election manifesto included a promise to end the use of asylum hotels. In government, he's okay with the number of illegals in hotels going up by 29%. In contrast, removals of boat people are down; just 4% of them are being Xported.

Professors from allegedly top universities are demanding that the Education Sec. has the schools curriculum rewritten to include not-so-great global warming swindle propaganda in every lesson. No one surprised.
There is also far-Left pressure for decolonizing the curriculum to hide every achievement & Britisch success, and ascribe every positive to foreigners, preferably those of colour.

In response to President XL's complaint that offshore wind turbines are killing thousands of birds, the government has decided to paint the blades black. Which is daft. A pattern of violent stripes would be a much better warning of an area of danger which needs to be avoided.
The latest bit of daftness from Those People is that Europeans had dark brown skin 3,000 years ago & Stonehenge was built by brownies. Naturally, no Xplanation is on offer for what made the Ancient Brits lighten up.
After he's taken over Canada & Greenland, President XL is going after Ukraine for all them minerals.
75% of Britisch adults will be o'bese by 2050, the Xperts reckon. This will be used to justify a body mass tax by a future Labour government.

Today’s Question:
Who would have been the bigger disaster as prime monster, Edstone Milipede or O.J. Corbynstein?

Recording companies are having to trawl the internet to cancel tracks created by an A.I. system in the style of a recognized artist, which pay streaming fees into the pockets of thieves.
   Smarmer's proposed copyright betrayal will just make things worse. Strange that he's unable to grasp that.

The hapless Business Sec., J. Reynolds, is getting a booting for being in favour of the Czech Vampire taking the Royal Mail into a Brown Hole similar to the one he created for the Dutch postal service, PostNL.
   It will be the Thames Water debt plunge all over again thanks to another UseLEZ Labour minister.
“Groomed? Bunged?” Dobriy Cynic

Marsman Musk wants the Untied States to quit NATO & the UN.
No one surprised.

Just not paying attention
The US is supposed to be big on the military & uniforms, which makes it very peculiar that President XL & VP Judy Viper didn't get that President Zelenskiy arrived @ the White House in what he has established as the uniform of Ukraine's president.
“The draft-dodger & his corporal bum-boy. Which pair of American self-styled military Xperts does that bring to mind? U Suck America. Well, some of it, anyway.” B.U. Collic

Thievin Reeves & Angrier Raygun have given a big boost to the robot industry. Firms are going for automation instead of human employees to relieve themselves of N.I. raids & strikes.
   The world awaits their next moves.

Scoffing treats when on holiday can create brain o'besity, boffins in Germany have found. The condition is quick to take hold and slow to reverse if the scoffing is halted.

1 million people in the UK refuse to speak English and 10% of the population struggle with it. That's the extent of the failure to integrate achieved by the multiculturalists.

President XL is warning the Hamas that if they don't shape up & release all their Israeli prisoners pronto, they can forget having Gaza turned into a vast Las Vegas-style holiday resort with coastal add-ons.

Soft-touch Labour has boosted the number of small boat invaders by 26% since taking office last July.

Send the judge
A Britisch court has ruled that a Jamaican criminal who was gaoled for manslaughter here can't be Xported back to Jamaica as his criminal record would prevent him from getting a job there.
   So it's all right for the scumbag to sponge off the Britisch taxpayer? Sheesh!

Holiday Hoyle, or The Man With The Golden Credit Card
The Commons Squeaker has blown £250,000 of our cash on first class round-the-world travel over the last 2 years.
“Just Stop, Hoyle.” Des Perado

VPOTUS Judy Vance is getting a good booting for his ignorant gobshitery about British & French troops who were involved in America's wars.

Further down the plughole
Currently, employees must have been off sick for 3 days & earn a specified amount before they can claim statutory sick pay. Under the new government plans, the income qualification will be cut by a fiver & people will be allowed to lodge their claim 3 days before they Xpect to become ill.

Pensioner punishment
The government has a brilliant scam for preventing pensioners from claiming pension credit & winter fuel allowance. It involves asking 450 questions on a form that can take some old people a very distressing 4 hours to complete, even with a trained advisor helping.

The woke council @ Wokingham in Berkshire [stress on the Berk, Ed.] has banned its minions from talking about ‘hard-working families' as this distresses the workless & skivers.

More conventional wisdom binned
Women aren't more likely to get dementia than men because they live longer. The Xperts now reckon it's because they are better than men at collecting toxic proteins in their brain.

The wheels are coming off the Labour scam to cut NHS waiting lists. The scam involves paying less to the private sector for farmed out appointments and the private sector ain't going along with it.
The US turning its back on Ukraine has prompted an attempt to form a 20 nation Coalition of the Willing for Ukraine. Xcluding Putin's stooges such as Hungary, of course.
Disney has been obliged to cancel the planned London premiere of its actors/CGI version of classic animation Snow White to avoid an anti-woke backlash against the company from real people.

Legless Legalese
A challenge to the far-Left injustice system & its discrimination against white male Brits! The Justice Sec. is at war with the Sentencing Council over its Xpansion of Two-Tier Justice with further recommendations, which include going easy on anyone who isn't a white native Briton. The SC wants to give extra excuses to ethnic minorities, transpicaters, and any other 'deserving' group the legal trade can concoct. Which just happens to be in line with our prime monster's Two-Bier Southport riots reaction.
The Justice Sec. is getting a booting for claiming she had no advance warning of the SC's Two-Bier rulings, even though her minions were @ the meetings which concocted them.
R. Jenrick, the Tory shadow, is making noises about a judicial review. But can anything short of sackings make this qango listen?

As usual, it’s all about the money
The reason why Labour is rushing Angular Robot's Strike Mandate Bill through Parliament without proper scrutiny has been Xposed. Trade unions won't have to ask their members if they want to make a political donation to Labour, they'll be allowed just to do it.
Also included in the Bill is a plan to set up a qango which will poke its governmental nose into worker compenbloodysation cases and award cash to people who weren't involved in the case.
   Not something calculated to grow employment & the economy but, let's face it, that has never been the government's intention if you consider its actions rather than the words.

Don’t put the flags out just yet
The Gov. of the Bonk of England has found something about the economy which is strengthening. Unfortunately, it is ‘demand weakness' created by Thievin's catastrophic Budget, which has been an apocalypse on business.

Blind eye turned
Smarmer's Army is ready to let Chinese spies & agents & assassins have the freedom of the UK in pursuit of a trade deal with China.

The Teashop of Southern Ireland has announced that he is up for helping Bier Smarmer to unpick Brexit by stealth. Wunderbar.

Evolution in action
The human mid-life crisis is in time-slip and will soon have to be renamed as younger and younger people are hitting the buffers sooner.

Today’s Wisdom:
Before you can pull your pants up, you have to put them on.

The regime in the Untied States claimed that it is just pausing its aid to Ukraine. Translation: a blackmail tactic.

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Making life unsafer
Government ministers have been watering down the Safer Phones Bill to the point of rendering it worthless. The original idea was to prevent those younger than 16 from having access to libel lounges. But Cabinet axes have chopped it to bitz.
The social media addicts of GenZ are now reported to be in favour of keeping their kids off the internet as it has gone steeply downhill since they started wandering about on it.

Education in Scotland is a tech shambles with schools approving anything from 0 to 902 crApps for pupils to use as add-ons to their classwork.
[Imagine having to remember 902 passwords! Ed.]

The decision by FIFA to stick a half-hour half-time music show into the 2026 World Cup final is getting a good booting. The event will be co-hosted by Canada, Mexico & the US, and the idea is to make it appeal to an American TV audience for the sake of the advertising revenue.
   The players are not at all happy about having to keep active for all that time to avoid seizing up when play resumes.

Esso petrol 137.9p/litre in Romiley.
Esso diesel 143.9p/litre.
Gone down!

A secret College of Policing Protocol requiring coppers to report contacts with journalists as well as criminals, suspects & Xtremists has been Xposed & cancelled.
   A 2-year campaign by members of His Majesty's Press was required to end their portrayal as enemies of society and a danger to the police!

Q: The prime monster writes a letter to his daughter & turns it into a press release on World Women's Day. What's that all about?
A: A lawyer getting his alibis in place.

Police Scotland is heading for an HUGE legal bust-up by letting coppers use changing rooms according to whichever gender they've decided to be. Blokes invading female spaces will be the trigger.

Are there cracks appearing in the Trump/Musk best mates act? Given the type of people they are, no one surprised.

The government has upset snivel servants by making noises about 'incentivising' slackers to get another job and linking performance to the pay of senior officials.

Today’s Major Ishue:
Will President XL start World War Three before he completes the first 100 days of his second & final term?

The RAF is running out of Top Gun pilots because of the Ministry of Defence diversity policy with has prevented recruitment of white male Brits. There is a lot of frantic reversing going on currently. The discrimination policy imposed by Air Force bosses was illegal but no sackings are Xpected.
The policy has slapped egg on the face of the prime monster, who promised to put jets in the sky over Ukraine.

Sudetenland-style sell-out?
President XL doesn't know if Ukraine can survive. Is this a preview of a plan to sell out Ukraine to his mate Putrid? Or is Putrid playing the blackmail card relating to the 1990s rather successfully?

Men have abandoned the doctoring trade to the Xtent that there are now more female doctors than male ones.
Female doctors put in 87.6% of the working hours of male doctors for one reason or another.
More female doctors than men choose to work part-time & they tend to retire earlier.

A mess in need of resolution
Bier Smarmer, the ‘uman bluddy rights lawyer, has been booted below the belt by a KC who reckons the copyright theft deal proposed by Bier conflicts with international law.
   It violates the Berne Convention, which established that copyright Xists as soon as an item is written down or recorded. Bier's plan to grant A.I. companies a blanket Xemption amounts to plain grabbery.
The Berne Convention doesn't mention A.I. specifically. This is what our wonderful government is using as an alibi. Maybe because A.I. was just science fiction back in 1886 when the Convention was created?
[Just a thought; send Bier to gaol as an accessory before, during & after the fact if he goes ahead with his scam & let the de-copyrighted sue the bastard for every penny he has? Ed.]
Former Chancellor Hunt the Stunt is advocating a UK equivalent of Silicon Valley based on A.I. But it sounds too dangerously like a means to grow the economy for our wonderful government to endorse.

Next month's Spring Statement from Thievin Reeves will include more tax rises. Labour ministers are already trailing this.
The Poundland company & over 800 UK stores are up for sale as our wonderful government has knocked the stuffing out of the pound concept.
The London School of Economics and lotz of its inmates are on Team Hamas. No one surprised.
Physician Associates are all over the NHS. Surprise! A review has found that there is little evidence that it is safe to employ them or they improve patient care. But hey! It's the NHS. Who Xpects it to work!
Is there any connection between this revelation & the sudden disappearance of top NHS bods Pritchard & Powls?
The UK & Putinstan are having another game of ‘Xpel the diplomat for spying'.

If President XL won't let Ukraine into NATO, could Commonwealth membership be an alternative if no previous association with Britain is no barrier? Could happen if someone boots Bier up the bum & tells him to get on with it.

Someone looked up the history of the charity Macmillan Cancer Support & found, to his amazement, that it has managed to survive for 114 years without needing a diversity crap wonk on £100K.

“Is it fair to boot VPOTUS Judy Vance for doing what comes naturally to a politician? Flap his tongue to disrespect the UK about it's lack of participation in wars with his brain disengaged? It's what politicians do, after all.” Blan Dishment

It's all very well for the government to talk about beefing up the UK's defences but the far-Left has put in place all sorts of rules to prevent companies in its clutches from doing having anything to with military ishues on 'ethical' grounds.
   Or wokeness. Or simply anti-Britischness.

Massive betrayal
Why is Labour trying to end the farming industry in the UK? An inheritance tax grab which will destroy family farms. A compulsory land grab plot @ bargain basement prices instead of fair ones. And now an end to farming subsidies. Wot next?
[A countryside full of houses and the inmates eating one another in the absence of anything else on offer? Ed.]

The Court of Appeal has reduced the prison sentences on Just Stoppers who twatted about on the M25 in 2022 & attacked works of art. No one surprised.
The Tories are stirring the pot over the Two-Bier Sentencing Council, daring the Justice Sec. to sack any of the qango's members who won't see sense.
Broke Birmingham is now Rat City with the binmen on strike.
Chinese garment companies are already using A.I. to create cheap knock-offs of Britisch fashion designs. No danger of Bier slapping a tariff on them, of course.
A dozen Labour councillors for Liverpool are facing bribery & corruption charges over selling off sites to developers. No one surprised.

Man Utd. looks set to grow its £1 BILLION debt Brown Hole to £3 BILLION if it goes ahead with its 100,000-seater New Trafford stadium. One problem; will local fans be able to afford the new, amazing ticket prices?

Today’s Question:
Is it surprising that people are going for more mature & taste-full cheeses? Is that more surprising than settling for mild, taste-less lumps of the stuff in the past?

President Boris would have us believe the disgraceful ambush of Pres. Zelenskiy @ the White House wasn't meant to happen, & Putin the Poisoner doesn't have enuff blackmail goods to turn Pres. XL into a stooge.
   A minerals deal will give Ukraine security as it will be in America's interests to provide it. Having bashed Ukraine, XL's next move will be to bash Putinstan. Really? We'll see.
   Putinstan is broke, Pres. Boris reckons, and has no option but to go along with an XL deal.
Why does Pres. XL have to make the deal happen? If Ukraine goes under, that will trigger a global loss of confidence in America & be a disaster which defines the XL presidency in the history books. Something a bloke with an ego 10x as big as all outdoors can't live with.
Alternatively, XL is an unprincipled, narcissistic charlatan. (Andrew Neil, also in the Daily Mail)

Ain’t he great!
Marsman Musk is playing the Good Guy card over the refusal of X-witter to hand over details of clients to UK police farces which were seeking to stitch people up for inline comments during the 2024 riots in July & August. Well, 53% of the details not handed over. So just half a card?

Postage starter prices are going up on April 7th. First class post will cost £1.70 (up 5p) and Second Class goes to 87p (up 3p). That's the 6th increase in 3 years for 1st class.

The BierBC's latest wheeze for taking the piss out of the licence payer is to recruit a Head of Belonging on £125K.

A phrase worth reviving for certain members of the judiciary:
Tête de Richard.

The St. John Ambulance mob are the latest candidates for a good booting for trying to cancel women. Bloody wonks.

Oh, Canada, we stand on guard for thee!
Canada is in despair after former Bonk of England boss M. Carney was elected leader of the Liberal party there and will be the next PM, despite not actually being an MP.
   Lawyers who become prime monsters are generally failures looking for an easy time at the taxpayer's Xpense. Does the same rule apply to bankers?

Our wonderful PM is planning to apply antibiotics to shrink the infection that is the snivel service, which has become exceptionally bloated since the Chinese plague was at its worst.
   Is that by the end of the decade, Bier? Or the end of the century?
The unions are demanding that the government stops using the snivel service as a political punchbag & keeps on letting their members use it as a cushy refuge for the incompetent.

Public Service Announcement He's been called the Blogger of the Decade His intellect is matched only by the size of his luck and the size of his bank balance. And yet he manages to keep his Feet On The Ground with the greatest of ease. Do yourself a favour and find out what Xavier has had to say about what's going on Right Now!

WEEK 3    Foundations not fixed, Gangs not smashed just yet

 
The terrorist regime in Syria has been sending its gunmen out to massacre members of communities associated with the murderous & deposed tyrant Assad. Nothing changes here.
The captain of the cargo ship which rammed an anchored fuel tanker amidships is Putinstani & under arrest.
Israel has come up with a different way to harass its Gazan neighbours—cutting off power supplies as well as blocking aid convoys. This will damage drinking water production in Gaza as power is needed for the distillation process.
Trump tariff tantrums are pushing America toward recession?

Two of a kind?
The latest Trump theory is that rather than being a stooge of the world's richest Putin, he's hoping to make enormous amounts of dosh out of their association.
   And as far as the blackmail angle goes, Putin must know he can't shame a man who has no shame.

The cosmetic mayor of York & North Yorkshire (Labour) thinks always spending taxpayers' money wisely included splurging £32K on an underwhelming new logo for his fief.

The Xperts are predicting a really bad time for hay fever sufferers this year with an early onset of the season & lotz more pollen than usual.

A touring production of Agatha Christie's Murder on the Orient Express is being mocked for its wonk trigger warning about depictions of murder.

This month contains the 5th anniversary of the arrival of the Chinese plague in the UK.
The ‘Xperts' who covered up the source of the plague; a leak from the Wuhan virus laboratory; are still in plum jobs.

Edstone Milipede's Nett Zero gang racked up 5½ million air miles last year, MP R. Lowe has discovered.

Not all wimps!
As the young lads of GenZ shrink into wimpishness, the girls are stepping up to fill gaps in jobs like being an HGV driver. The Chinese plague drove a lot of older drivers into retirement & the need to keep supermarkets stocked means that the pay for driving a lorry is a lot better than a new graduate with, say, an English degree can Xpect.

Thievin Reeves has reduced business confidence to its lowest level for 4 years. No one surprised.

Finance ministers are looking @ the idea of a Europeon ‘bomb bank' as a means of funding defence spending without pushing up national debt.
   It is also seen as a way of outflanking those posturing unworthies who shun defence companies on virtue-flagging pretend ethical grounds.

If you fancy 8 days stuck in an NHS hospital corridor, Worcester Royal Hospital is the place to be.

Today’s Question:
How many gangs has Home Sec. Pixie Balls smashed this year? Any at all?

Climate Criminals In Action
CopOut30 in Brazil, another last chance to save The Planet from climate change, needs a four-lane super-highway to be hacked through what used to be protected Amazon rain forest. 50,000 stooges of all magnitude will be enjoying the freebie in November.
   How's that any help for the enviromint? None at all, say the people who used to make a living from the destroyed forest.

Reform UK, as a political party, is very Like Labour in that its membership doesn't include enuff people who know how to do government to be able to form a government which can offer good sense, efficiency & value for money.

Minions with ideas WELL above their station
The legal trade is telling the Justice Sec. to get lost & it intends to carry on with its Two-Bier Justice, which favours minorities unfairly. Slapping down urgently needed.

The BierBC is paying more to bosses who tick a diversity box. So much for protection against discrimination.

No mercy for the long grass
Having used consultation as a means of booting an ishue into the long grass, our wonderful government is now doing consultations about consultations to delay having to make a decision even longer.

A bit more fantasizing
The government is planning generous rewards for whistle blowers who shop tax fraudsters.
"We have zero tolerance for anyone who commits fraud," said a government spokes. Which doesn't achieve much if they have zero knowledge of fraud going on.

Genocide now okay?
"How many poor people will Woe & Penury Sec. L. Kendall see off with her proposed £6 billion cut to the welfare bill?"
   That's what her party would be yelling in Opposition. Reality bites in Government.
Big snag, Big snag. Thievin's National Insurance grab will kill off the part-time jobs which some people need to get back into the routines of working after a lay-off.

Q: Smarmer to abolish bitz of the qangocracy to remove duplication of effort; is that a Good Thing?
A: Not if it takes 2 years to demolish a qango, e.g. NHS England, & the savings will be watered down to homeopathic levels in the process.

Corporal Pillockment
Gulp! VPOTUS Judy Vance was exited from the US Marines as a corporal. He now thinks it's his job to cause trouble in Europe. Which has reminded a lot of people that another ex-corporal was doing much the same thing in the 1930s. And look where that ended up.

Are there any rare & useful minerals under Gaza? That seems to be the Israeli government's only hope of paying America's aid & munitions bill when it crashes onto them.

"Hey, the FTSE is over 8900, which is an new record," we were told.
   It's down 300 points now.
Thievin on the job of preventing economic growth?

Q: What do you get if you go on an 8-day jaunt to the International Space Station?
A: In the case of US astronauts Butch Wilmore and Suni "Big Hair" Williams, stuck there for over nine months. A SpaceX vehicle carrying replacement crew members was launched on the third Saturday of the month and the castaways hope to use it for a trip back to Earth. When that will happen depends on The Planet's weather.
   The pair were launched into space on a Boeing experimental Starliner vehicle, which developed multiple problems and NASA decided not to risk using it for the return trip. Which made Boeing very unhappy.
Splashdown of the Dragon capsule, if it goes ahead this coming Wednesday, will be in either the Gulf of America or the Gulf of Florida, depending on who is telling the tale.

Just a Thought but is Bier Smarmer going to start his war on qangos with the 27 which he himself has created since last July?
He started his campaign with a plan to abolish the Payment Systems Regulator, which deals with the likes of credit cards. But he will have to get a new law through parliament to do this. And Nett Zero taxpayers' dosh will be saved. Cosmetic, or what, Bier!

Was it ‘unexpected' that the economy shrank by 0.1% in January? Not with Thievin as Chancellor & economy wrecker.

Wee Burney Sturgeon would have us believe that still being investigated over the disappearance of SNP funds is nothing to do with her decision not to defend her seat in Holyrood next year.
   Off she goes into the wilderness with a £75K golden handshake plus a £62K pension, a £300K book deal and anything else she can hoover up.
Polis Scotland has managed to blow 2 million quid on Operation Branchform to date. With more to come.

Just as well!
According to a member of the tanker which was rammed by a cargo ship when at anchor off the Yorkshire coast, the crew did ‘emergency prep' non-stop. And that's why every member of that ship's crew survived.
   Just as well if the cargo ship's crew put their vessel on autopilot and didn't bother to make sure that it was going in the right direction.
The cargo ship captain is being done for the manslaughter of the crew member who wasn't found.

Conservative leader K. Badenuff wants handouts to bogus asylum seekers to be redone as loans. Big problem; there are as likely to be repaid as most student grants.

Another shambles
Notwork Rail has made a total bog of its £200 million ‘sustainable' station @ Cambridge South. Nett Zero parking spaces for cars, insufficient secure parking for bikes & Xtremely poor access via public transport.
   The opening of this inadequate shambles has been put back to next year, when parking chaos in local streets is Xpected.
Cambridge is the cycle-theft capital of . . . is it the UK or the world?

Q: What do you get in court if you have 171 convictions for shoplifting and you find yourself back before the beak?
A: Away with it.

How strange that Bier Smarmer's QANGO cull didn't start with the Sentencing Council, a creation of Gordon F. Broon (Labour), which makes a lie out of the judicial pledge to do right to all manner of people; i.e. no special treatment if you're not white, British and, worst of all in the eyes of the woke, male.
   How strange that the alleged legal eagles of the SC won't admit that they are making a nonsense of the Equality Act.

The Aussie government is looking for an Xcuse to deport an American woman who grabbed a baby wombat away from its mother and put a video of her animal cruelty online.
   Why wait, Aussies? Just escort the woman to an airport & send her on her way & claim you're doing it ‘for her own safety'.
   And make sure you have an indignant mob with placards on hand @ the airport to drive home the message.

Another Labour swindle
Taxpayers' cash will be used to boot the rail freight terminal on which the Man. Utd. fairy cake New Trafford stadium will be built 20 miles away to St. Helens. That's hundreds of millions of pounds which Man. Utd. won't have to add to its debt, courtesy of Jonah Burnham (Lab.), Greater Manchester's cosmetic mayor.

“That couple who were fined £1,500 for an illegal immigrant stowaway who hid in the bike rack on their camper van—everyone involved in imposing the fine should be sacked for misconduct in a public office & bringing the law into disrepute. Justice for all, not the few.” H. Ardnose
“Isn't that what the Border Farce & lifeboats do, bring migrants here? Definitely sack the fine-mongers with a ban on rejoining the public sector.” Dr. Acula

Thievin Reeves has got the number of higher rate (40%) taxpayers up to 5 million & is on course to hit 9 million in 2028.
Another 4 million who don't currently pay the basic rate of income tax will be hoovered into it by 2028 if the threshold stays frozen. The government will be paying out the old age pension with one hand and grabbing back a slice as income tax with the other. Definitely grounds for a revolution and lamp posts with a crossbar put to good use.

Lord Norton of Louth is trying to restrict awards of new peerages to persons of merit to prevent steamers like Bier Smarmer from elevating their pals & stooges.

Action vs Smarming
Canada shot back when President XL doubled metal tariffs. Even the EFU found some guts and £22 billion worth of reprisal tariffs for the US.
   Here, our beery PM said he was disappointed by the damage our ailing steel industry will suffer but he seems unable to be arsed to respond in kind. His strategy is said to be hoping that XL will take pity on him if he smarms enuff @ their next meeting.

Q: What do you get when Thievin's VAT grab makes a private school unaffordable?
A: A bill for over 8 grand/year for taxis to get the displaced pupil to a state school 25 miles from her home.

Today’s Assignment:
Which is the bigger threat to the UK steel industry? Foreign tariffs or Edstone Milipede's insane Nett Zero crap? Discuss.

Tech Fantasies
A.I. systems will be used to digitize the snivel service in a bid to save £45 billion. Xperts believe that the more likely outcome will be a cost to the nation of that much, given the government's record for bungling major projects. And then there will be the hacker attacks if the data security is insufficient.
No shedding of snivel servants who are serving no useful purpose is on offer to keep Labour's trade union paymasters on-side.

President XL has bared his teeth @ Putin the Poisoner. Agree a cease-fire deal with Ukraine or your economy will be devastated is the latest message to his chum.
The Europeon Coalition of the Willing is coming apart already. Italy doesn't want to put peace-keeping troops in Ukraine. A buncha pizza-eating surrender monkeys?
The ruling of a High Court judge was offered as a major safeguard when MPs voted for the Assisted Suicide Bill last November. That High Court judge is now history, watered down & out.

Q: Has Bier Smarmer turned into Action Man with all his announcements of plans to sort out the bloated & wasteful public sector?
A: Announcements are just talk, not action. We need to see some deeds which achieve a positive result for the taxpayer before we start cheering. And we need to see the likes of Edstone Milipede & other deadlegs in the bin, where they belong.

Oh, dear! Dyslexia & ADHD have been Xposed as lifestyle choices and the product of education failures rather than definable medical conditions.

Unhelpful to the max
The Scottish government is doing its best to collect flak from all sides by doing things like cancelling an order preventing Scottish Water from dumping raw sewage into the harbour @ Kinghorn, Fife, and allowing transpicater male prison officers to search female prisoners and visitors to gaols. The visitors don't have to put up with this according to the rules, but they are not told this.

Marsman Musk has announced a new timetable for his conquest of space. He hopes to put a robot on the Red Planet by the end of 2026 and humans, maybe, in 2029.

Havoc by design
Making the centres of 4 Scottish cities low emissions zones has been good for retail parks outside the zone but bad for city-centre shops, which drivers of older vehicles are avoiding to avoid the stonking fines.
   Unreliable public transport is also contributing to the city-centre decline.
Some city councillors are still telling the public the obvious lie that vehicle emissions in the UK change the global climate. But that's politicians for you.

The only way to do it?
It looks like President XL is going to have to put his Putin hat on & send an invasion force if he wants to annex Greenland. The population just about favours independence from Denmark but there is not much enthusiasm for becoming part of Donald World.

Thievin's Budget grab of more National Insurance has done John Lewis staff out of the store's now legendary bonus for the 4th year running. But they are getting pay rises, which is something.

Israel is back at it again, blasting hell out of Gaza and blocking supplies of humanitarian aid to keep Mr. Ne10yahoo out of court, and acting as a recruiting agent for Palestinian Xtremists.

Tory leader K. Badenuff has broken the Nett Zero consensus by declaring it an unachievable & Xpensive fantasy.

The EFU puts a retaliatory 50% tariff on bourbon whiskey, President XL makes noises about a 200% tariff on Europeon wines, especially Champagne. So much for a serious response.

How prepared are we for the next global pandemic?
As prepared as we were for the last one, lotz of Xperts reckon. As with the Chinese plague, there will be Xperts claiming that their view is the right one & everyone else is wrong. And the rest will be doing the same.
   The government will throw lotz of cash around, spivs will grab lotz of it and, if we're really lucky, a firm like AstraZeneca will come up with a vaccine to provide a breathing space until their rivals get into the act.
   And the politicians will do their best to screw things up, as they always do. And then there's the sclerotic NHS management to contend with, and the dolts @ the WHO.
   And our wonderful government having put the kybosh on AstraZeneca's plan to build a new vaccine laboratory in Liverpool won't help.

Not wonderful TV
The striking thing about the return to Earth of the stranded NASA astronauts in a SpaceX Dragon capsule has to be the immense amount of time spent faffing about instead of parking the recovery ship next to the capsule and hauling it aboard.
   And all this to a background of non-stop chat
“The astronauts must have felt the need for a book to read whilst all the messing about was going on. Something of the length of Dreamers of the Day or Prey by Jon A. Gored.” Albi Baque

for the bike rack stowaway couple. The Home Office has been bludgeoned into cancelling their £1,500 fine. But the miserable gits haven't cancelled the penalty. Or imposed any on the Customs officials who looked at the camper van and didn't spot anything amiss. Yet another Xample of Labour's Two-Bier justice.

Q: How does a Green-led council impose low traffic neighbourhood street furniture on residents who don't want it?
A: Bristol Council does the job @ 3 a.m. with police officers and private hire security guards in attendance to harass any objectors. Sneaky bastards.

The unions are making noises about patient care suffering in response to the decision to cancel NHS England. No one surprised.
Abolishing NHSE will cost the nation £800 MILLION in redundancy payments, so no great boost for the NHS front line on offer.

Eternally inventive
Race courses charge the punters such outrageous amounts for refreshments that people are bringing their own favourite booze in a cute container. Flasks made to look like a hair brush or a set of binoculars are now usual kit.

Not panic-worthy
Terror-related arrests are @ their highest level for 5 years, we are being told. But only 84; one-third of the total; led to charges. Not that impressive and about two-thirds down on the previous year's number.

Those wondering why there are no flags out following Bier Smarmer's promises to make the NHS & the snivel service effective should remember that talk is cheap & Bier isn't known for his honesty & ability.
   Thus no flags will be deployed until something worthwhile has been delivered.

Today’s Definition:
Kitschen – where pretend artists produce trash.

Essential in every household! The New Model Virtue Flagon!!! Fully endorsed by weapons-grade hypocrite Serbia Smarmer!!! PERFORATED!!! Will not hold sensible views of any sort GUARANTEED!!! Megano & Wilf of Romiley, 14 Riverside Lane

Gold is doing very well as investors put their cash into something tangible as the Trump Malarky spree messes up share prices. BP is dumping solar as the company attempts to get its business growing again.

Wonk warning
A bunch of clowns are going to decolonize The Bard. The Shakespeare Birthplace Trust wants to mess about with museum collections and distort them to reflect their weird views, which are totally irrelevant to anything Shakespeare offered.
   Shame the bastards can't find something sensible to do. But, of course, that's too much to hope for.

Islamonyetic
The control freaks need to be taught the difference between fear of something and total indifference to it. Say, a 3-month course with an exam at the end. Paid for by the control freak, of course. And a repeat if the CF fails to get an A+ score.

The wombat-harassing American didn't need to be deported from Australia, she fled the country of her own accord.

The Commons Speaker is under close scrutiny over his freebies & his £50K vanity portrait. But MPs are afraid to say anything against him because he has the power to ignore them and prevent them from saying anything in the Commons chamber.

WEEK 4    Welfare system broken – Labour has no fix

 
Esso petrol 135.9p/litre in Romiley.
Esso diesel 141.9p/litre.
Gone down more!

90% of head teachers have seen pupils skive off on holiday in term time as parents now consider school to be optional.
The travel industry is getting the blame as it pushes costs sky high during school holidays & makes a family break affordable only during term time.
Fining parents has no effect as a term-time holiday plus a fine is still a cheaper option than observing school holidays.
The Chinese plague is getting the blame for the cultural shift.

Three boots for Thievin Reeves!
One from the Downing Street mafia for trying to blame the economic slump she caused on President XL, another from Tory leader K. Badenuff for trying to pretend she didn't trash the economy with her tax grabs
   A third comes from a Labour MP in revolt against benefit cuts [presumably, worried about re-election, Ed.] after it was revealed that Thievin had blagged free admission to a pop concert @ the O2 Arena after Ministers were supposed to have stopped doing it following the rows over the freebies blagged by Serbia Smarmer & other ministers.

Is Pres. XL going to let Putin the Poisoner off the hook?
President Boris believes that his chum, Pres. XL, has the right toughness to put Putin the Poisoner in his place in response to Putin telling him to get lost over Ukraine.
   The alternative is to let Putin turn Trump into a loser.
   We'll see.

Assigning the blame
The Heathrow airport closure is ‘a direct consequence of Edstone Milipede's Nett Zero fantasies. No alternative power supply was available after a fire took out one of the airport's three main electricity sub-stations and its back-up. This was due to the pointless demands of making the airport Nett Zero compliant.
Some hysterics are claiming the closure will blight the economy for the rest of the year. More of the same to come all over the place if Milipede isn't cancelled?
Bier Smarmer is also being blamed for the closure for being daft enough to indulge Milipede's fantasies by giving him a Cabinet job.
“The bloke in charge of the airport is on about 3 million quid per year. Maybe if he were to be docked a million for each day off, that would concentrate his mind on keeping the place running.” Hi Flier

If you're a Pakistani student who has overstayed his visa & sexually assaulted a woman by groping, claim you're a homosexualist & a judge will grant you asylum without finding out if you're lying your head off.

A pair of academic wonks are trying to cancel the term midwife in favour of lead perinatal partitioner. Shame they don't have something constructive to do but academics have to look busy, no matter how unproductive they're being.

Reform UK's woes are now being blamed on the party's chairman, who is a successful businessman with Nett Zero political nous. It's all his fault that the row with Xpelled MP R. Lowe just keeps getting worse & mired in misinformation.
   Chairman Yusuf has created 200 candidates for a rival party in the May council elections by preventing them from standing for Reform. They are now the Independent Britain Group. Worse, his vetting procedures are being accused of letting nutters become regional directors for Reform.

Whose side are they on? Not ours!
1. Labour backtracks on benefits freeze
2. Labour schools minister puts interests of trade unions before those of children.
3. Thievin Reeves has wiped out the £9.9 billion headroom in her disastrous Budget & dug a Brown Hole £4.48 billion deep.
No one surprised.

More, less successful, private enterprise in space
For the second time in 2 years, a lander sent to the Moon by the private company Intuitive Machines has been unable to land on its four legs. The IM-2 Athena lander tipped over onto its side and was unable to generate power like this and the company had to declare the mission over.
   The company is taking some consolation from achieving the southernmost lunar landing ever on the first Thursday of the month. But probably not much.
   The company's first landing attempt, in February last year, ran into trouble when one of its IM-1 Odysseus probe's four landing legs broke after hitting the lunar surface faster than expected. The lander tipped over to a 30 degree angle but its instruments continued to work for a week before the Sun set and a lunar night began.
   Odysseus was not built to survive for two weeks without power from sunlight and the mission was declared concluded.
   Maybe a level platform with no broken legs next time?

Lord Vallance, a Chinese plague guru, is getting a booting for ignoring the evidence & claiming the plague wasn't released from the laboratory in Wuhan.
Rachelism & a far-Right conspiracy was the line pushed by Those People when the plague was rampant. They didn't want to upset the Chinese with an Xposure of the truth and lose research grants. Much the same story as a for a lot of those pushing the not-so-great global warming swindle.

VPOTUS Judy Vance is blaming migration for the UK's dire state.

Snivel service credit cards are supposed to be used for low-value goods & services. So how did the bastards blow £675 million with them last year?
   On nights out during foreign jaunts, & essentials like 2-grand pairs of shoes, DJ equipment, coffee pods in bulk & other essentials.

Reality Check
1. Bier Smarmer goes tough on welfare benefit bloat.
2. Far-Left MPs & trade unions kick up a stink.
3. Bier forced to backtrack, leaving nothing much of the original plans to spare the taxpayer needless Xpense.
No one surprised.

Pollsters have found that 48% of 18 to 27-year-olds have bought the far-Left line that Britain is a rachelist country and they need to apologize to the rest of the world. Abandon, ye, all hope for the future!

A practical approach
When the grabbers in Barbados start going on about trillions of pounds as slavery reparations, we should just tell them we'll settle their hash out of the trillions China owes us as plague reparations.

Two-Bier Justice is still due to begin next month, which raises the question of why Smarmer hasn't sacked his Justice Sec. in favour of someone who will take on the wonks of the Sentencing Council.
   Could it be that there is no one in the Labour party who gets the concept of equal justice for all?

After the rare minerals, President XL wants to take over Ukraine's power plants. Chomp! One bite at a time. Wot next?

Israel has got its score in Gaza up to 50,000 dead Palestinians.
The IDF is working hard on raising the score in Lebanon.

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Bad news for the climate criminals—they are now rachelist as well. Not that a name will make any difference to their grabbing.

Not exactly something to bet on
England & Wales have the highest number of centenarians in the UK—24 and 26 per 100,000 people respectively. Scotland, where life is harder, can claim a score of 18 and Northern Ireland reckons its lowest score of 15 is due to a higher birth rate diluting the number of people who hit the ton.

An attention-seeking French MEP is demanding that America returns the French-built Statue of Liberty. He has decided that Americans hold the gift in contempt for some reason apparent only to himself.

Thievin Reeves has succeeded in closing a prep school in Derbyshire with her VAT raid. Opened to provide quality education almost 140 years ago, closed by Thievin.

More dereliction
The far-Left are at it again. They want to reduce the Britischness of the school curriculum & swap Xaminations for coursework grading despite the growing amount of A.I. cheating that goes on with coursework.

More wreckers at work
Fanatics trying to erase the concept of biological sex to gain Stonewall points have corrupted NHS, police & military data, a government-commissioned probe has found. Male criminals are being listed as female, people are not being given medical appointments for sex-specific conditions, there is a safeguarding risk to children and much more.
   The presence of huge amounts of corrupted data in the national records is making none of the data held in them reliable.
“What we need is a Citizens' Committee of Vigilance to take a cruise through the ranks of all those on the public payroll and weed out the wreckers. No danger of our wonderful government doing it.” Jacq Pott

Scrutiny, the enemy of propaganda
An in-depth scrutiny of Labour's messing about with the welfare system has found that it's all talk with no gain for the taxpayer. The government is claiming £5 billion in savings will be made. Maybe £160 million, is the scrutineers' conclusion.
A separate study concluded that scroungers gaming the notoriously lax system will prevent savings.

Today’s Question:
Should pressure be applied to Home Sec. Pixie Balls-Cooper to close the loophole which let a killer teenager buy a second-hand shotgun using a DIY faked firearms licence?
   Deferably. She's not likely to do it of her own accord and a boot applied to her rear end is vital.

The Labour party is very good A Xpanding the plight of a few deserving people into a case for handing vast amounts of tax money to skivers & their supporters. Which is why all Bier Smarmer's rabbiting about ‘reforms' has come to nothing.

Judges are feeling free to take no crap from killers who don't want to be in the dock when their sentence is announced. They now feel entitled to have the killer loaded into a prison van to be hauled into the court so that the judge can sound off at the scumbag.

Anyone with £15 million to spare can blow it on a boron-doped blue diamond with a cushion cut, which will be on offer @ Sotherby's in Geneva in May.

Want to age a decade in appearance in 9 months. Try spending that long on the International Space Station. Worked for Sunita ‘Big Hair' Williams of NASA.

They are all at it, the bastards
Actors, film-makers, writers & musicians are urging President XL to prevent Big Tech A.I. firms from stealing their copyright. Something which our wonderful government is contemplating allowing.
[Probably because politicians tend to be destructive rather than creative people and they won't be losers. And there could be bungs involved. Ed.]

The Santander Bank (foreign) loves Britain so much that it plans to close 95 more branches. Spit the bones out of that.

Hungary's government has done a good job of upsetting the Wonk Tendency by proposing to Xempt mothers from income tax for life, But only if they are white and married.
Israel is getting rid of surplus bombs by blasting bitz of Lebanon.
The boss of the Federal Reserve, America's central bank, is blaming President XL for a Thievin-style slowdown in predicted economic growth. The XL tariffphilia is getting a lot of the blame.
Members of the Scottish Parliament are feeling unappreciated & 20% of them will not be seeking re-election in May next year. Double that for the SNP, which gets the blame for all the vital infrastructure ishues; ferries, roads, etc.; which have been neglected for decades.

Interest of the self sort
An opinion survey about this week's Spring Statement from Thievin has found that those who pay tax want her to cut taxes & public spending, and those who don't pay tax want her to raise taxes & have a splurge of public spending, which includes more dosh for the non-taxpayer.

Scroungers do what scroungers do
Thievin Reeves is still blagging freebies. She claims she needed a VIP ticket for a concert as it would be dangerous to sit with the plebs. Which doesn't Xplain why she can't cough up the cash for the ticket.
[Entitlement Syndrome? Ed.]

Trump's much heralded release of the remaining official files on the assassination of President Kennedy has been a bust. There's nothing new or useful in the mass of paper, much of it semi-legible or totally illegible.
   The Grassy Knollers are still blaming the CIA for the murder and convinced that all the good stuff was removed from the official records decades ago. And they still have books to write containing wilder fantasies than those already on offer.

Tech to the rescue
Frankenfoodists are doing gene editing to create bigger and tastier fruit & vegetables. Improving food security is an aim of the work. Something which is becoming vital to the UK with Edstone Milipede trying to cover prime agricultural land with solar farms & Angular Robot trying to build houses for illegal immigrants on the rest.

An exotic alien creature or the nation's favourite meal, good old Cheesy Chips? Drop in and decide @ Romiley Fine Fare, 16c Riverside Drive

President XL is being accused of making America less safe by diverting large numbers of federal agents to the major task of Xporting millions of illegal immigrants.
   Drug cartels, child abusers, bootleggers & arms dealers are all getting a lot less harassment than they merit now.

Nothing to write home about
Scotland's railways were nationalized 3 years ago; something offered as an SNP triumph by Wee Burney Sturgeon appropriately on April 1st. Have services improved and are tickets cheaper?
   Much the same as far as services go (i.e. just as unreliable) and above inflation rises for tickets, even with the massive hidden subsidies from taxpayers. Plenty of dosh & pension cash for the public sector bosses, though.

Q: Limited cease-fire?
A: Putinstan can fire missiles & Xploding drones @ Ukraine but Ukraine can't shoot back.
[If you don't understand the above, get President XL to Xplain it to you. Ed.]

The Iranian-backed Houthi insurgents in Yemen are getting the blame for the deaths of the best part of 250,000 people there over the last decade.

The government is planning to keep migrants in hotels @ the taxpayer's Xpense for . . . ever. And some will get new homes out of the 5 million which Labour is claiming will be built during this Parliament.

Plenty of ‘not me, Gov’ after major foul-up
There was enough power available to keep Heathrow operating on the day of the blackout, said the boss of the National Grid. Just one of the three substations connected to the airport can meet its power requirements. And there are backups at the airport.
   The view from Heathrow is that critical systems had to be safely powered down & rebooted, and the airport had to be shut down to get this huge restart operation done.
   Looks like there was no plan to meet a once-in-a-lifetime catastrophe, which no one had anticipated. And the Xperts are claiming their take is the right one and the other guy is wrong. Which is usual.

Freebie Thievin’s Spring Statement
Everything is someone else's fault. I'm not to blame if the economy is in tatters and the price of a pint of beer is now over a fiver. And stop going on about my bloody freebies. I'm entitled.

Labour Inaction:
Smarmer orders councils to count potholes instead of getting on with filling them.

“All the financial trouble the Labour lot have cooked up makes the Smarmer/Lammy obsession with handing the Chagos islands to Mauritius—and BILLIONs of pounds of our dosh—look increasingly insane. Shame this sorry pair are incapable of grasping this.” Amper Sand

Going from the evidence . . .
The Labour party is full of idiots or piss-takers. That's the only possible conclusion from a poll of party members which put Edstone Milipede at the top of the Cabinet minister approval ratings list instead of half a mile below the bottom place. Predictably, Angular Robot was in 2nd place.
   Thievin Reeves is the tail-end Charlie, just slightly less negative than Bier.
Apparently, about half of the Cabinet thinks that withholding state benefits from undeserving scroungers is out of step with Labour values!

Quote of last week:
"It takes a certain level of incompetence to fiddle your own fiscal rules and then to miss them." Conservative business spokes.
The Chancellor has now gone from talking about economic growth to talking about economic stability, i.e. slowing the economic decline caused by her tax & grab policies & that disastrous Budget.

Women face working until they drop, is what hysterics are claiming as equality of the retirement age is achieved.
President XL has abolished the US Department of Education & returned responsibility for delivering it from the federal government to the individual states.
Bier Smarmer has had to order Ministry of Defence bosses to buy Britisch in response to a decision by the EFU not to.
A leaked government document has revealed that Labour's Nett Zero obsession will create a surge in inflation, which will leave low-income households (Labour) unable to afford even the basics of life.

More unreliable official data
The Home Office has made a bog of counting the number of coppers assigned to neighbourhood policing. The wonks @ Whitehall have let police farces count new recruits as beat officers & go in for similar fantasies for years.
   The exaggeration factor has been calculated @ 20%. No sackings are expected among the bean counters, though.

The Immigration Judge of the Year Award goes to the one who didn't know the difference between Iraq & Iran.
[No, we didn't make that one up. Ed.]

The government's plan to endorse copyright theft is getting a booting from the luxury goods industry as Smarmer is putting its growth to £125 BILLION in danger. Whose side is the guy on, anyway? Not ours, that's for sure.
Bier Smarmer's fantasy of 30,000 troops protecting Ukraine has been reduced to 10,000. And if actually deployed, they will be put in safe zones, well away from Putinstani forces.

PANIC!
Every US military secret was revealed when a journalist was included in an online chat group, which included VPOTUS Judy Vance being rude to Europeons and discussion about whether US raids on the Houthis in Yemen are worth the effort.
Pres. X.L. sez it's no big deal and he doesn't give a crap about Europeon parasites. So everything is okay.

Esso petrol 134.9p/litre in Romiley.
Esso diesel 141.9p/litre.

Sherie blasts back with more of pearls of wisdom
“"The government's problem is that it is focussing on trying to get people to spend money rather than encouraging firms to create jobs, which will give people money to spend on goods & services, as the government wants.” Ray Paydirt
“How does the government justify paying a depressed drug addict over £700 PER WEEK; plus treats when someone on the old state pension is expected to make that much cash last a month?” Shill Bebak
“Maybe people should be allowed to opt out of supporting migrants & the bill should be shared by all those who want them so that we can find out how keen they remain when they have to put their money where their mouth is.” Manic Mikanic

Save the Enviromint with our New Electric Coffee Machine! No fossil fuel emissions! Just load with filter paper & the ground coffee of your choice, plug in to the mains, switch on and leave the rest to the DropMaster™ Megano & Wilf of Romiley, 14 Riverside Lane

Edstone Milipede is being accused of preventing a legal ban from being imposed on buying solar panels made in China by slave labour for installation on schools & other public buildings. No one surprised.
Labour votes to turn a blind eye to modern slavery
The Milipede QANGO Great Britisch Energy will blow £180 million on solar panes for schools & public buildings. Edstone ain't bovvered that they will be manufactured using power generated by coal-fired power stations, which ain't green by any stretch of the imagination. Labour has also cancelled a Lords' amendment to allow panels made involving slave labour in China to be used.
“And shipped half-way round the world. Not wonderfully green either.” E. Quality
“Why does Milipede think he's entitled to sell excess electricity generated by taxpayer funded solar panels to the National Grid? Make the taxpayer pay twice. Typical bloody Labour scam.” Noah Chance
“Let us not forget it's a scientific fact that nothing done here has a measurable effect on the global climate. All GBE is about is letting Milipede & his hangers on swan around the world, pretending they're saving it, with hands thrust up to the armpit in the taxpayer's pocket.” Bjorn Agen
“The idea that solar panels installed here will cut our carbon dioxide emissions enuff to balance the ones from China when making the panels is just Milipede hogwash.” 2-10 Karmen

Advertisement Mr. Wydey’s Book List Highly Recommended Reading, Authors worth pursuing & some Awful Warnings, Hundreds of Bux listed!

WEEK 5    Are there any freebies unhoovered by a Labour minister?

 
An interesting alibi for the Chancellor
She's not actually in charge of the economy. She's just a bag-carrier & figurehead for Bier Smarmer & his collection of back-room cronies, who actually make the decisions without being seen to have responsibility for them.
Q: Is Freebie Reeves facing a credibility crisis?
A: Not if she ain't got none.

As a result of Labour's assault on families, household bills will rise by £1,000 in the next financial year.

This war in Ukraine that Pres. XL reckoned he was going to stop a month ago. What's the word on that?

Only in America
Last month, VPOTUS Judy Vance was moaning @ Europeon leaders for abolishing free speech. This month, his boss, Pres. XL, is all for shutting down US media outlets which fail to appreciate his administration enuff.
   Does the EFU have a Judy to send across the Pond to do a rant at the inmates there?

Q: Is it reassuring to learn from the revelations of J. Goldberg, editor of The Atlantic Review magazine, that America's Top People, who included him in an online chat by mistake, are as UseLEZ as our own?
A: Only if you're looking forward to some daft bugger starting World War 3 by mistake.

Today’s Question:
How can anyone take a bloke like Edstone Milipede seriously if he can't even scoff a bacon buttie?

Q: Should a nurse be sacked for calling a male paedophile who is claiming to be female ‘Mister'?
A: No, the manager who sacked the nurse should get the sack and be made to pay the nurse compenbloodysation for the damage & distress caused.

Pres. XL's latest ambition is for the USA to become an associate member of the Commonwealth. The idea was first floating during his initial term as president. He wasn't keen then but he is now.

Well worth repeating . . .
Meaningless Wibble
"Protect the NHS" has been ruled a junk phrase after an audit revealed that the NHS has been in a permanent state of crisis ever since it fell into the hands of jobsworths, who think nothing of blowing a couple of hundred quid of taxpayers' cash on an item costing 65p, and who think covering up medical negligence is always a good idea.

Cambridge university has been awarded a 4-month injunction to prevent supporters of the Hamas from disrupting graduation ceremonies this year. Last month, a judge refused to give the university a 5-year period of relief from the trouble-makers. Typical.

The far-Left loonies @ the BierBC are offering a genderless racoon cartoon to the kiddie audience.

Something to Remember:
50% of the snivel service Blob could be sacked without affecting production.

The Arts Council of Wales is getting a booting for handing £10,000 to some bloke who wanted to decolonize Welsh cakes (popular teatime snack), which is just meaningless wibble. The ‘study' proposed by the ‘researcher' was not to be found when the ACW tried to locate it.

Infamy! They’ve all got it in for me!
Commons Speaker Hoyle would have us believe that he is in danger of being ousted by woke Labour MPs as part of a conspiracy to make Parliament woke rather than because of his insatiable appetite for junkets.
   The reason for replacing Hoyle with someone like Sir Captain Underpants is that the Labour lot Xpect to lose the next election and they want to screw things up before that happens.

Totally Triggering
A senior Labour MP puts her dog on her Parliamentary expenses—and she's allowed to get away with it.
   There are grabbing bastards and there are Labour MPs.
   Sheesh!
“Sack the gang who are supposed to check up on MP Xpenses. They are obviously skiving.” Putin Otravitel
“Three pensioners had their WFA grabbed to give this woman her freebie. Wunderbar!” Gennar O'Sity
“I suppose she'll tell us 90 grand doesn't go as far as it used to.” L. Astic

An energy minister with a working brain would encourage the domestic solar industry to Xpand with loans, tax breaks, etc. It's not as if we're in a tearing rush to get every building in the country solared up.
   But, unfortunately, Bier Smarmer is content to let Edstone Milipede blow millions of pounds unnecessarily. Which doesn't say an awful lot about the quality of Bier's judgement; except that it's inferior.

After lying about inheriting a £20 billion Brown Hole from the Tories & grabbing £40 billion at her disastrous Budget despite claiming her spending plans were fully costed, Freebie Reeves has dug a real £20 billion Brown Hole in her accounts.
   No one surprised.

Bad news for Pres. XL, who has ambitions to join the Commonwealth. Several member states are in China's pocket and they will blackball him if there is ever a vote on the ishue.

A Home Office claim that it will do anything to make sure that foreign criminals ‘are not free on Britain's streets' rings rather hollow whilst we have a judiciary which seems intent on populating those streets with the scum of the Earth.

The swindle continues
Letters from the DWP about what will happen to the old state pension next month can include the information: ‘Age addition of 25p per week will be payable from your 80th Birthday'. This ‘bonus' was introduced in 1971 and represented 4% of the pension rate then. It should be about £7 now.
   The fact that it is still being paid at the same antique rate to certain Oldies is nothing more than the government sticking up two fingers at them. Maybe our MPs, who have just received a generous pay rise, should be required to spend some time on the 1971 salary & expenses to find out how funny the joke is.

Actions speak louder than words
Europeon leaders are starting to realize that Pres. XL isn't going for a just peace in Ukraine, he's after an unjust victory for his mate Putin the Poisoner and billions for America & Putinstan for engineering it.
Having a Putin fan-boy as the US envoy to the Kreml isn't scoring any points for XL.

Every total for the number of illegals being ferried across the Channel is a new record with Labour in government.

Disney's woke remake of the classic cartoon Snow White is box-office poison. No one surprised.

The wonksters running the Britisch Antarctic Survey think that giving a job to the most qualified person constitutes rachel harassment. Where do they find these tossers?

Scamdalous!
Labour's latest plan for being soft on illegal immigrants is to put them under house arrest in a new house awarded to them, courtesy of the taxpayer, from the 5 million which Angular Robot is going to build on the Green Belt.

Q: What do you get if you live in Leicestershire and you keep 2 gas fires on all day in winter to stay warm?
A: 9 coppers demolishing your garden gate & your front door, thinking the police helicopter's thermal camera has detected the heat signature of a major urban cannabis farm.

Groan! There will have to be more taxes to pay for the Thievin Reeves freebies.
UPDATE Thievin claims she has given up freebies. No one convinced.

Modern people, a survey has found, are rubbish @ recognizing wildlife. 80% or more wouldn't be able to name a robin, a badger, a dolphin, a fox and lotz more usual creatures. Too much time spent glegging @ a pocket phone is the most likely cause of the universal iggorance.

Draft guidelines or daft ones?
Judges are being advised in the lastest version of their code of practice that they can let illegals off as they are unlikely to re-offend. If they're here, it isn't possible for them to offend again by coming here, is the ‘logic' on offer.
The Sentencing Council is forcing the government to legislate to block its anti-white, Two-Tier rules, which are due to apply from April Fool's Day.

Meanwhile, back at the Fantasy Factory . . .
1. Freebie Reeves claims her economic plan is working.
2. Official growth forecasts halved.
3. Whose bloody side is she on? Not ours, that's for sure.

One way around it
With the Assisted Suicide Bill having its can kicked out of sight along the road; Xcept on the Isle of Man for those who have lived there for 5 years; maybe those in need of an early exit should consider getting themselves admitted to somewhere like Stafford Hospital, which became notorious for letting patients die of neglect when Greater Manchester's cosmetic mayor, Jonah Burnham, was a health minister in the New Labour regime.

Below the line mission statement: Some of this is true, maybe, but probably not the parts that seem most real and most likely as we use current standards of elasticity where facts are concerned.
   We are constantly exposed to dodgy conclusions drawn from dodgy data by jumped-up 'experts', especially the ones found in the world of politics and particularly those at the Treasury and running trade unions.
   Some of us civilians at BFN like to join in to let them know that anyone can do it and we ain't impressed by their efforts.

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Created for Romiley Anarchists' League by workers in revolt against oppression to set the record straight in the 3rd millennium. © RAL, March MM25 like anyone cares.