WEEK 1    No More Tax Rises (apart from council tax & alcohol tax                         & packaging tax & stamp duty & . . .)

 
Alcohol tax goes up today. Something else to Thank Thievin for.

Distraction tactic
Claiming that those who spot Two Beir policing going on are far-Right Xtremists doesn't mean the Two Bier stuff doesn't happen. In fact, the need for Smarmer's Army to make this ridiculous claim can be taken as proof that they are responsible for lotz of Two Bier policing and ashamed of it. Especially when a real person notices what's going on.

The Xperts have decided that a Full English breakfast is healthier & better for you than the fashionable carbohydrate-loaded granola gunk & fruity yoghurts.

The Mandelsleaze has been forced to make a ‘hostage video' in which he had to say he thinks President Trump is brilliant. Will this erase the years of slagging off? Fat chance.
Global qangos like the WHO have cost the UK taxpayer £85 BILLION since 2009. Gord knows how much of it has vanished into criminal pockets. No wonder The Donald has binned the WHO.
The tech giants which make pocket phones have been accused of facilitating a plague of thefts by failing to give the handsets adequate security precautions to prevent them from being reset and sold on.
Marsman Musk wants to rename the waterway crossed by the small boatloads of illegals The George Washington Channel. But he's keeping quite about the nature of the link to one of the protagonists in America's first civil war.

More Labour Hippocrisy
How do Angular Robot having a personal photographer on £68K @ the taxpayers' Xpense & Edstone Milipede wanting on @ £50K square with the Thievin Reeves plan to cut public spending? No one amused.

If Heathrow gets the go-ahead for a third runway, it won't be operational for at least a decade, and not until 2050 is a reasonable guess. Which makes all the chat from Thievin Reeves about the extra runway promoting economic growth just another distraction from the many failures of a notorious fantasist.

One solution!
Lord Cromwell has pointed out that the mean elevation above sea level of the Chagos Islands is a mere 4 feet above the Indian Ocean. Which means that if the global warming fraudsters get their wish, they could soon disappear from view as the planet's seas rise relentlessly.

Dissatisfaction with the NHS is running @ 90% higher than the number of complaints filed. This, the Xperts reckon, is due to an almost total lack of confidence in the grievance procedure.

The UK is about 50% convenience coffee drinkers, the Xperts reckon, who go for instant instead of filter coffee or overpriced pods.

Two Bier justice in action—our PM wants just one hearing of vexatious building complaints but he's okay with letting illegals, including really seriously bad criminals, have unlimited shots @ the courts @ our Xpense for the enrichment of the legal trade.
“More Bier Smarmer hippocrisy, talking about gumming up the legal system. It's what lawyers do to make a less than honest living.” Haar Devidence

How very dare they!
B. Ne10yahoo's god complex is getting worse. How dare Israel's legal system drag him into court three times in the same week to face charges of fraud & bribery! Looks like the Israeli Death Force is about to be put on overtime to create a diversion for The Man Who Can Do No Wrong.

WHSmith closing branches is going to deprive a lot of communities of their Post Office. Something else to thank economy-trashing Reeves for.
WHS branches currently host 200 Post Offices. How many next year?

“Good idea that ridding the UK of vexatious zealots should start with Edstone Milipede. Lammy next? Or Angrier Robot?” Con Spirator

More Pots & Kettles
Our wonderful Chancellor has ordered the snivel service Blob to stop saying "No!" to ideas for economic growth. [Shame she doesn't have any ideas for this herself. Ed.]
   Which leaves us wondering who's going to tell Thievin to go for policies which promote growth instead of prevent it? Not Bier Smarmer, that's for sure.

“Maybe they should put Thievin in charge of the Prevent scam if that's what she's good at.” Syl Katargast

King Chuck has told the Royal Navy it can't name a nuclear submarine under construction Agincourt to avoid upsetting the French. A name change for Waterloo Station next?

Another U-Turn
The Wheel of Fashion turns, and it's suddenly healthy to have a long lie-in @ the weekend or on a day off to recharge the batteries.
   Grab the down-time whilst you can, is the message from the cynics, before the Wheel turns again.

Retail crime; theft & violence; costs the public £2 BILLION per year. Wot we need is a police force that is prepared to jump on thieves with both feet.
Edstone Milipede wants to take away 10% of productive farmland for his Nett Zero occasional scams and sod domestic food production.
The 'Who would you shoot first?' ranking is still Reeves then Milipede after Smarmer.
There's an alibi for the people who can't keep the pounds off after a diet. They have cells which enjoy being fat and won't be deprived!! That's why 90% of wonder weight-loss drug users will be hooked for life.

94% of terrorist murders in Britain since 1999 have been by Islamists but the Home Office doesn't want us to know this to avoid costing the Labour party Mslm votes.

The Prison Service is recruiting Nigerians who don't speak English to staff gaols. Presumably, Xpecting them not to get upset when the cons swear @ them.

’Elf Noos
The NHS is short of cash, hospitals are overflowing, so are A&E departments. So why is the NHS advertising diversity crap jobs paying over £80K? And why isn't Wee Streeting getting the sack for letting this happen?
Why is the NHS failing? Because the management is overpaid & complacent, and obstructing necessary change, the Commons Public Accounts Committee has found. But what is Bier Smarmer going to do about this? Nothing seems to be his usual offer.

All part of the destruction plan
In Opposition, Labour opposed Conservative plans to crack down on benefit fraud. In Office, Bier Smarmer made L. Kendall his minister in charge of doing nothing about this. And doing nothing is Xactly what she's doing.

Bier Smarmer is swanning off for a lunch with the EFU mob today and neglecting his job again. Again. The French PM is going to assure him that Britain is still in for further clobbering for daring to Brexit. No doubt this will appeal to Smarmer's inner masochist & hatred of everything good about Britain.

The Ministry of Defence is having to use prescription fat jabs on massive service personnel in an effort to get them looking something like nearly fighting fit. But will it fool the Putinstanis when they invade? Not too likely.

Sadgeek K'han't has blown £2 million of London taxpayers' cash on trashy art by usual suspects & minorities in an attempt to distract attention from his apparent policy of ignoring knife crime in the capital.

90% of Britisch streets contain anything up to lotz litter as the population grows loutish & councils waste money on woke trivia instead of street cleaning.
It is now fashionable for young people to claim to be a sexual deviant. 10% of them are doing it, according to a recent poll.
The bank HSBC is reducing its presence in the UK in response to the Reeves Recession. And despite the denials, the Spanish bank Santander could also trim or go.

Women are no longer going to gyms because they don't know what to wear to avoid being revealing, and blokes make comments about them.
Women only gyms are out because of transpicater predation problems.

President Trump is planning to park his worst foreign criminal invaders @ Guantanamo Bay. How about a Chagos Island for ours? Such as the one which is likely to be submerged first if the level of the Indian Ocean rises as much as the alarmists are claiming it will.

Sherie with a quick blast
“Reeves, the human(?) handbrake, just ain't listening.” Manque Mostel
“Rachel Canute is sitting with cold water lapping her knees. Is she going to get up and get something useful done? Or is she just going to stay where she is and drown?” T.J.Fooquer

Phone Guinness! Bier Smarmer has reached a record low popularity rating of -42, bottoming the -41 scored by the SnackStabber after the election last July.
The Thievin unpopularity reading is not on offer but it is believed to be negatively double the Smarmer score.

Police farces are too busy recording imaginary non-crimes to do anything about 2,000 attacks per day on shop staff & 20 MILLION thefts from shops & supermarkets per year. There is one hell of a lot which is rotten in the upper levels of management.

Vital Information
In case anyone is wondering, the current ‘symbol of the month' [left] is called a gammahex, according to a note on a scrap of paper found lurking under the cushion along the back of the editor's settee.

DEI = ‘didn't earn it', according to a GB Views viewer. Clearly, a view shared by The Donald.

The creator of the 10-cent Chinese chatbot is being accused of sneaking data out of larger, US versions; something which is banned under the terms of service. Threats of aggressive counter measures are being hurled around.

Worst Beast of all
The authorities in Scotland are working hard to rack up the cost of Storm E. The damage caused by Storm A in 2021 cost £300 million to fix, but it affected mainly rural areas of Britain.
   Storm E hit major cities in the central belt of Scotland and the damage figure could end up hitting £500 million.

Our wonderful government has put the boot in to Merseyside by causing AstraZeneca to cancel a £450 million investment in a vaccine plant by cutting back financial support offered by the Tories.
   So much for jobs & growth of the economy.

Deputy PM Angular Robot doesn't know that Islamerphobia is a meaningless junk work. No one surprised.

It wisnae us!
Mr Farage from the garage & Reform UK are being set up as fall guys in case the Scottish electorate does something radical in next year's elections for the Parliament there. Something which the other political parties can't unpick.
   A resurgence of the independence mob is threatened along with a refusal of Scotland to be part of the Union if Nige ever gets to be the PM in Westmonster. Sounds like a road to bankruptcy for the Scots as effective as the one Thievin Reeves has us on.

Wee Burney who?
Apparently, Wee Burney Sturgeon now regrets stepping away from the job of Scotland's First Meenister despite all the scandals, which haven't gone away. Missing the attention & the perks, is she?

Jaws flapping to no effect
The Spanish PM has threatened a 100% tax for foreigners buying holiday homes, knowing he'll never get it through his parliament. But he's getting his wish by other means.
   Purchases by non-EU customers, including Brits, are declining year on year. The Brits are going to Italy & elsewhere more welcoming & the Spanish economy is losing out. Which is inevitable with the looney Left in charge.

If Man. Utd. does get to redevelop its Old Trafford headquarters, the club would be well advised to keep Manchester's cosmetic mayor, Jonah Burnham, well away from the project or it will all end in tears, given Johan's record for bringing disaster to everything he touches.
Israel has been blowing up more Arabs & a hospital in the Occupied West Bank to keep its hand in for when the war erupts again in Gaza.
President Trump is using tariffs to force other nations to get serious about trade deals, migrants & the drugs trade. And he has the muscle to make it work.
Mexico blinked first on the drugs ishue, reinforcing the border with the US and getting the Trump tariffs paused for 30 days to see what happens. Then Canada crumbled and got the same deal. Looks like The Donald knows what he's doing.

The more mayhem, the merrier
The doctors' trade union wants a right for medical personnel of all types to stroll out on strike on a whim written into Angular Robot's Workers' Rights Charter. Otherwise, the cash flow from the BMA to Labour stops?
“Makes rather a mockery of Wee Streeting telling the NHS that it will have to learn to live within its means. Joke with Labour in charge as a stroll-out always means more cash coughed up by the taxpayer.” Onya Byque

Scottish Water wants householders to turn a tarmac driveway into a lawn to reduce flooding. Which raises the obvious question of what to do with the car that's parked on the solid driveway? Nothing on offer from SW, of course.

Labour Logic:
Don't Xtract oil & gas from our on- & offshore assets, pay over the odds to import them from abroad because Edstone Milipede won't keep the lights on without propping up from fossil fuels, put people out of work in the cause of pretending to save the planet and don't add BILLIONs to our national account by exploiting something vital and readily available on our doorstep. Shrinkth instead of growth.
“Makes a mockery of all the BS about growth that we get from Bier Smarmer & Co.” Onya Byque
“The Chancellor tells us her growth plan is 'all about the pounds in people's pockets'. Shame that plan involves picking those pockets until there are no more pounds in them.” Redd Outfit
“The only place Rachel Thieves is likely to kick start economic growth is into the long grass.” Don 4mat

On the road to Xtinction
Ofsted is proposing deliveries of second class mail only on two non-consecutive days during the week and not at all on Saturdays. This is Xpected to boost the price of first class mail and help the Czecq vampire with the debt mountain piled on to his purchase of the Royal Mail.
   Delivery targets for both classes of post will be reduced. Businesses, in particular the greetings card industry, are up in arms and the Post Office ain't happy too.
Bier Smarmer threatening to build millions of new delivery addresses for the Royal Mail to service ain't helping.

The Bishop of Liverpool has joined the list of Church of England top bods who have been dispensed with because of sexual ishues.

Does your art just loll about idly? If you want it to go places, get aboard the D*Y*N*A*M*I*S*M revolution T*O*D*A*Y! Romiley Virtual Reality, 32 Annex, Riverside Drive

The President of Mexico has shot himself in the foot whilst protesting about the Trump Declaration that the piece of sea south of the Untied States is The Gulf of America.
   There is no internationally recognized body for naming bodies of water and, as the Mexican president himself pointed out, a nation's sovereign territory Xtends out only 12 miles from its shores. Which means that The Gulf of America is as legitimate a name as The Gulf of Mexico.

“Smarmer's problem is buy him a dinner & he's yours. And doesn't the EFU know this.” A.L.M.

Norovirus is being a damned pest, filling twice as many hospital beds as planned for.
   The Chinese plague is being less of a pest but more of a pest than it has been for the last couple of years.
   The NHS remains without spare capacity.

Shifting air-freight away from Heathrow and making the airport passengers only would save the billions a third runway would cost. And using the returned US air base @ RAF Alconbury would solve the freight terminal problem. That or expanding Xisting local freight facilities.
   Shame there's no chance of this happening with Smarmer's lunatic Army in charge.
China is planning to build a couple of hundred new airports over the next decade. Maybe our useless lot need to ask them how it's done.

The EFU is an atrocity, Donald Trump reckons.
Quite right, sir!

There was a report on the BierBC TV news claiming that Sirkreepy Smarmer was shuffling his ‘shallow' cabinet when he was in Opposition. Judging from the present mob, spot on well in advance.

This is about 5 Biers, not 2
Bier Smarmer's lock-in violations are back in the news. The police are still doing nothing about them. This is the same police that were trumping up charges against Tories.
   President Boris was busted over a piece of cake which he didn't even get to eat. When everyone else was locked in for Xmas, Smarmer was having an Xmas Eve session with his acting coach, whom he claimed was a key worker.
   A clear & flagrant breach of the law, but nothing will happen with the fuzz in Labour's pocket.
“Is he going to do the decent thing & resign, which he's been claiming he will? No chance.” P. Rojectile
“Bier Smarmer having acting lessons when the government had cancelled everyone's Xmas? How that not breaking the law?” Matty Gashchir
“Boris-bashing is okay if you're a dishonest Labour politician?” Oliver Hardly

Smarmer doubles the offer to Mauritius for surrendering the Chagos Islands. Is there a more treacherous fucqer anywhere on The Planet? It would be difficult to come up with one.

Another £16.2 million down the Labour drain
The government has made a bog of resetting the Ofsted rating system for schools & the ludicrously costly revamp will only make matters worse, the Xperts are agreed. No one surprised.
A Labour spokes said, "The government is only trying to bamboozle parents, not people who can spot a load of old rubbish a mile off."

Two-thirds of the electorate want to government to Wage War on Woke, as President Trump has done. Cutting down the snivel service & getting rid of DEI non-jobs should be Bier Smarmer's main priority.
   But is Bier listening? Based on past form, nah.

Gesture Politics
Will Bier Smarmer bring back former Labour MP the Balls Monster to make his flatline gesture to Xplain why Thievin Reeves is getting the boot for trashing the economy?
   Six newspapers with a knocking job on Thievin as their front page lead has to be some sort of record. All she needs is Smarmer to say he has absolute confidence in her to confirm that she's doomed.

Rumbling & Grumbling
Santorini's tourist industry is getting a boot up the backside. A string of earthquakes from the beginning of this month has triggered a stampede of visitors & locals eager to get off the Greek island by air or sea.
   No one knows if the volcano, which blew the island to bitz in 1,600 BC, is about to blow its top again and few want to be around if it happens.
The Xperts are suggesting that the quakes are tectonic due to shifts in the many fault lines in the region rather than rumblings from the notorious volcano.

Not wanted on voyage
Lord Humbug, he of many accusations from the Conservatives of conflicts of interest, has upset his own party big time. The Labour lot are calling the Attorney General Lord Bottleneck over his inability to make decisions.
   Maybe it's time to boot him into the long grass, where he's clearly at home, and get someone with a bit of go about him or her.
“Bier reckons he has absolute confidence in the deadleg, so that's him doomed.” Arfur Scaregill

The Thievin alcohol tax rise is crushing gin distilleries & pubs.
No danger of Thievin doing anything about this latest catastrophe.

The Church of England's zillion billion pound reparations plan is illegal as it is based on a false assumption of profits in the past from a project which, the Xperts have declared, was in fact loss-making.
   So it's all a con job with Nett Zero transparency about where all the cash will go.

Angrier Robot is recruiting a gang of 16 stooges to come up with a hexadecimal definition of the junk word ‘islamerphobia'.

Romiley News: The Cowboys are coming back!
Is it really that long since they created the island in the road at the Stock Dove pub? Back in 2010? And botched the job at the first attempt.
   The sorry story, with pictures, is available on the Romiley Arts Federation website here
   In brief, the cowboys built an island with square corners, which was attacked almost immediately by a dangerous driver, who demolished the lamp post. Then the island was found to be too big for buses to navigate easily.
   The result was road widening and a rebuild with pointed corners.
   Fast forward a decade to page 9 of the Incidental Pictures of Romiley and the cowboys were back again to install speed bumps on the east side of the crossing and further along Compstall Road; all of which reduced ambulances to a crawl and had to be dug up and erased, wasting even more of our money.
   The latest scheme is to make a controlled crossing with lights and buttons to push at the rear access to Romiley park. Which will take ten weeks, according to the circular letter from the council. More fun & games for the cowboys.
[Back in 2010, people were wondering why they didn't just paint a pedestrian crossing on the road and save all the messing about. That question remains unanswered. Ed.]

WEEK 2    Expect the usual swindles plus some new ones

 
Easter egg prices will be @ a new ripoff level this year due to primitive cocoa production conditions in West Africa and adverse weather. But the manufacturers of the eggs are not bovvered as the mugs who buy their products seem to have deep pockets.
   Thus new lines will be available this Easter @ new world record prices.

So much for the War on Waste
1. Vanity photographs of Smarmer's Army are costing the taxpayer over half a million quid per year. Bier himself has 2 vanity photographers. No Xplanation for this on offer.
2. Labour's defence strategy involves trying to keep secret from the Britisch public, how short of weapons & equipment the Armed Services are.
   The hope is that Smarmer's Army will be able to blow the cash we need to spend on defence on stuff of no benefit to the customers.
[Assuming that all the spies for Putinstan and our other enemies are on holiday or Shirking @ Home? Ed.]

Out of touch & not in charge
A book of comments by Smarmer minions is of interest but unlikely to make a splash. Why? Because views like: "he's incapable of running a bath" are shared by most of the electorate.
“But not strictly accurate. Give him a 100-page list of instructions and a fee of 1,000 guineas and he could probably get his wife to tackle this monumental task.” A. Spire

The DWP is going to get tough with benefit criminal gangs with powers to raid their homes & grab anything of value, and impose driving bans on bad guys.
“This is all very well, the government gets tough on the bad guys, but what about getting tough on the snivel service blunderers who let BILLIONs of pounds of our money be paid out wrongly through their blundering uselessness?” Oleg Bohemia

The climate criminals have got 78% of children under 12 worried about global warming—something which is entirely outwith the UK's capacity to affect.
   Further relentless messing with young heads with misinformation is on the way to get the percentage closer to the 100% target.

Labour, out for bad guy votes, is going to cancel the Conservative law which prevents boat people from becoming UK citizens.

The prison @ Aylesbury in Buckinghamshire is giving inmates a £330 birthday boost. Instead of parcels which need to be search for drugs & other contraband, pals & relatives of cons are being encouraged to make a one-off top up to the con's personal account, which can be used to buy clothing & food @ the prison shop.
   The £330 birthday bonus, or however much is donated, must be spent only on clothing.

Creating a Green rat heaven
Bristol City Council, dominated by the lunatic Green party, thinks making black bin collections monthly is a carbon emissions & money saver.
   "Where do I store 4 weeks' used nappies?" demanded one outraged resident.
How about in a bin bag parked neatly in the town hall car park? is our best offer.

Yet another Xample of 2-Bier policing—Smarmer is being allowed to get away with his many lock-in violations of the law. The police have come up with Xcuses for ignoring every one of them.
The catastrophic Thievin Budget will close 17,200 stores in 2025 & cancel 202,000 jobs, the Centre for Retail Research forecasts.
The police ignoring theft from stores amounting to £2.2 BILLION annually & assaults on staff is not helping
Women will be particularly hard hit by the first female Chancellor's job cancellation programme.

The Robot Report
ISLAMOFAUXBIA (garbage noun), pretending the values of an alien culture take precedence over Britisch values and custom & practice in Britain. A line pushed mainly by anti-Britisch far-Left politicians, especially those who rely on the Moslem vote in their constituency.
Even more abuse
Labour will cancel local elections in 9 areas of England this year to avoid a clobbering @ the ballot box. More dirty pool by A. Robot, who is planning to put a government stooge in charge of each of the areas to frustrate local democracy.

Continuity
At the end of 2021, one of our correspondents observed that Sirk Reepy doesn't realize how big a twat he makes of himself when he does his phoney outrage act. The penny still hasn't dropped.
[Looks like the key-worker acting coach was a flop.]

The Chagos Islands have never been anything to do with Mauritius; FACT.
Paying rent on part of this gift to Mauritius is treason; FACT.
Where's that rogue asteroid when you need it so much?

"Councils may be forced to make further cuts in services" = only useful services will be cut, useless ones will be maintained or grown to provide non-jobs for the friends of the majority party.

Over 10% of the councils in the UK are looking at ways to reduce the frequency of refuse collections, or eliminate them completely, so that the cash can be blown on diversity crap & an anti-white agenda.
What's the latest con job from the global warming swindlers? Pretending that messing about with the meat content of dog food will Save The Planet.
Trump declares war on women's sport, demanding no transpicaters be allowed to compete against real women.
The Xperts are working hard to ‘prove' that plastic nanoparticles in the brain cause dementia. It promises to be a long & difficult slog as very little evidence is available one way or the other.

Apparently, passenger aircraft carry lots of freight @ great benefit to the airline, which is why Xpanding Heathrow airport with a third runway is so appealing to some if appalling to others.

Another qango flop
The Financial Conduct Authority, the alleged City watchdog, has been ruled by an all-party committee of MPs to be ‘incompetent @ best, dishonest @ worst'. The FCA is in deep denial.
“Just like the government over the loss of a £450 MILLION investment from pharmaceutical giant AstraZeneca due to some sniveller's bad attitude.” Robbi Nud

Is the gaoled nurse Lucy Letby innocent and a victim of a trade which believes in burying its mistakes and moving on as quickly & as quietly as possible?

Q: Will Bier Smarmer be charged with railroading people into gaol for daring to express opinions on the internet about the Southport child murders, given his role in suppressing the identity & origins of the killer and demanding that as many bodies as will make him look tough end up in prison?
A: Two-Bier Justice Rulz, Nokay. No chance.

You have to start somewhere
Conservative leader K. Badenuff has a policy. Which is one more than Labour.
   How come? Because the Labour lot spent 14 years on the sidelines yelling yah-boo! & that's all. They have no idea how government works. Most of them, especially Smarmer, have no idea how to be a government minister. And doesn't it show!
   Reform UK is in much the same position. Nige & a few others; usually Tory defectors; know what is what but they even more than Labour can't summon up a Cabinet of people who know how to deal with the obstructive snivel service Blob.

“Really daft things are being done”
Wee Streeting, our tiny Health Sec., has been forced to admit that the diversity mob in the NHS is pushing an anti-white agenda. Not that he intends to do anything about it.

Sherie with another quick blast
“When Serbia Smarmer talks about economic growth, he has no idea what it is or how it's achieved. He's just a lawyer saying the words that go with the job without any involvement in the concept.” Geron Dafone
“If sexual deviants & transpicaters are claiming that Lego is an abomination, what we need is some ‘Smash The Gangs' aimed at the wokists & diversity crappers at the likes of the Science Museum. Cut off their money supply NOW!” P. Vishreeves

Edstone Milipede's Nett Zero crap, if fully enacted, would cost TEN TRILLION quid!!! Which makes the trillion-pound Brown Hole dug by Gormless Gordon in the balanced economy that he inherited in 1997 look almost trivial.

Falls over in amazement. We're up to the NFL's Super Bowl 59, and The Donald is the first sitting president scheduled to attend one! How come all the others managed to avoid doing it? Weird.

Where on Earth is the Labour party going to get hold of £18 TRILLION for the brain-dead bastards @ the Foreign Office to give to people who don't deserve it as slavery reparations? On top of the Edstone Nett Zero TRILLIONs?
   Is there some rule that the Labour party has to be wall-to-wall stoopid twats?
Sherie has some responses & rebuttal
“What about them paying us reparations for all the civilizing they got from us? Roads, motor cars & bikes, telephones, the internet, railways, supermarkets, etc., etc.” Gentry Menkal
“Can we Xpect Thievin to be back to pick the pockets of pensioners again?” Ferrous Heaves
“The obvious solution is to devalue the trillion in cases where the context is obviously stoopid. In these cases, £1T = 2p. We can probably manage 36p for the reparations to Barbados & the other scroungers if we try real hard.” Sil E. Catious

More of it
The University of the West of England has stuck 200 trigger warnings on the works of Wm. Shakespeare. Clearly, the stoopid twat rule applies to their academic staff as well.

Super Bowl 59
The Philadelphia Eagles started the event in the Noo Orleans Super Dome. Their 2nd drive reached FG range thanks to a penalty on the Kansas City Chiefs, on to the KC 1, Charge! Hurts in for a TD in the 9th minute. KC had to punt. They closed Q1 with a sack.
   A pick by KC in Q2 stopped the Eagles. Their next drive ended with a 48-yard FG, 0-10. Sack, sack on Mahomes then a pick-6 by Dejean on the next play stopped the Chiefs. 0-17 after 8 minutes. Lotz of defence. A pick by the PE put them at the KC 14 with 1:45 to go. A TD pass to Brown, 0-24.
   In Q3, 2 more sacks by the Eagles then more sprinting by Hurts. The PE reached & goal but were held to a FG, 0-27. KC went out on a 4th down at their 46, Hurts to Smith for a TD on the next play! 0-34 in the 13th minute. Game over. KC managed a TD for Worthy but not +2, 6-34.
   A FG in Q4 put the Eagles 6-37 ahead. The first KC play was fumbled to the Eagles and Elliott kicked another long FG, 6-40. A penalty wiped out a pick-6 for the Eagles. A penalty on KC wiped out a TD for Brown. One for Hopkins instead, +2, 14-40. Dunk the PE coach. A TD for Worthy, +2, made the score look a little more respectable at 22-40. Then the Eagles did some kneeling to seal their win.

Tell us one we can believe!
Angular Robot is being showered with derision for claiming she's cancelling local elections in 9 areas because they would be ‘an expensive and irresponsible waste of money', something Labour never has a problem with doing.
   And if she's really concerned about wasting money, what's she doing creating a whole new gang of vastly overpaid cosmetic mayors like Jonah Burnham?

“Bier Smarmer claims Labour was never going to turn the economy round in 6 or 7 months. But what is going from growing just before the election to shrinkage now if it's not turning the economy round?” Raleigh Point

A spot of imitation
Everyone who has been paying attention knows what the initials POTUS stand for. How about something similar for our own figurehead?
   How about DGBPM for Smarmer?
[Dishonest Grabbing Bastard Prime Monster. Ed]

Deaths due to alcohol abuse are at record levels in Britain. Things can get only worse with Smarmer's Army trashing things in every direction.

The chances of seeing a doctor @ what is supposed to be a GP appointment are now less than 50%.

Get out of this
If our Chancellor has somewhere between £10 billion and nothing as wriggle room in her financial plans, how is our DGBPM going to be able to hand £18 billion to Mauritius when he surrenders the Chagos Islands?
   Where's that going to come from?
[Lord Alli to the rescue? Ed.]

When diverse becomes divisive
Experience tells us this is inevitable when politicians poke their nose in. Angular Robot is trying to create an Islam-specific blasphemy law. What about Christians, Jews, Sikhs, Buddhists, atheists and all the rest?
   If there's nothing for them the damage will be significant.
   And whatever the bumbling politicians do, they will have the disciples of free speech up in arms everywhere.

Nett Zero credibility
Bier Smarmer is wriggling desperately. He is now claiming that offering Mauritius £18 BILLION for renting a Chagos island is nothing to do with him and it was all cooked up by the sneaky PM of Mauritius.
   But as he keeps telling the obvious lie that not giving the Chagos Islands to Mauritius threatens our national security, no one is impressed. TGBPM.
[Treacherous Grabbing Bastard Prime Monster. Ed]

Another hopeless financial cause
Pleas of poverty by West Yorkshire Police are provoking derision after it was revealed that the Chief Constable is blowing £1.4 MILLION per year on diversity crap.

Creaky Joe gets the sack
Denying the outgone POTUS access to security briefings is rather cosmetic retaliation by The Donald, who had it done to him in 2021. Joe, in his present declined state, won't notice the gesture.
   Unlike over a dozen former intelligence officials, who took Biden's side in 2020 @ election time and were rewarded with Xclusion too. Play politics, get booted!

Q: What's the down side for the world champion who can scoff a haggis in under 44 seconds?
A: His girlfriend won't go near him for the next two days and his mates make sarky cracks about the pong in the pub.

Electric cars are involved in proportionately more crashes than other road vehicles. The driver is less likely to be injured, which could promote carelessness, but the repair bill is higher, as reflected by the much higher premiums charged to electric car users.
Curiously, around 75% of electric car users are over the age of 40, assumed to be more mature & sensible than younger drivers, and would be Xpected to be less crash-prone.

The beauty industry, especially the rogues in it, & female vanity are taking a pounding for dumping huge repair costs on the NHS when the cowboys get it wrong.
Drugged drivers in Scotland are getting away with it by swamping the testing laboratories with samples to the Xtent that Polis Scotland has ordered its coppers to cut back on drugged driver busts!
The Indian space programme, paid for by UK overseas aid, is doing quite well at launching satellites. Natch, PM Modi is claiming all the credit.
Ofsted's multi-million pound revamp of school rating assessments has achieved a 94% disapproval rating in the teaching trade.
Only a bunch of Italian time wasters would come up with a way to make the simple task of boiling an egg take 32 minutes & involve lotz of faffing about.
Mr. Farage from the garage has Labour jumping through all sorts of hoops in an attempt to catch up in the polls.
“Labour thinks videos of a couple of doors being kicked down makes up for the thousands of illegals who get a taxi ride here by the Border Farce? Sounds like typical DGBPM Smarmer lack of contact with reality.” Montavius Pylark

A judge refused to deport an Albanian criminal ‘coz the crim's 10-year-old kid doesn't like foreign chicken nuggets. No one surprised.
“Definitely a candidate for the ‘boot the deadlegs into touch' panel of real people, this judge.” Steve 4mal
“Smarmer's gold plating of ECHR lunacy deserves a share of the booting.” Uppa Rand

More work for the panel of real people—taking a close look @ judges & coroners who are trying to put British troops on the wrong end of murder charges in re IRA terrorists.
The chatty people on GB Views have come up independently with the concept of scrutiny of the idiocy of judges, etc., by real people.

Israel is trying to Xport Palestinians to Ireland as part of the plan to ethnically cleanse the Gaza Strip. Spain & Norway are also on the list for daring to criticize Ne10yahoo's fief.

Q: What's a good way to get the Mandelsleaze spitting feathers?
A: Ask him pointed questions about his relationship with the killed in gaol paedophile J. Epstein.

Labour is getting ready to sell out the UK to the EFU over fishing rights. The denials from Bier & Co. are the big convincer, given Smarmer's Army's growing history of blatant dishonesty.
   “Change, but not as we want it, Jim.”

Reform UK, Nigel Farage has claimed, has reached the stage of maturity where it feels obliged to kick out the lunatics & fanatics. Something the present incarnation of the Labour party is nowhere near.

Bad guy emotional blackmail
Gulp! Scumbag celebs who slag off other members of their trade are now emailing & messaging journalists to tell them if the scumbag's guilty secrets are Xposed, that will turn the scrumbag into a mental elf.
   Next step, asking how the offending journo would like being declared responsible for the elf's suicide when the shame becomes unbearable.
   Bring it on, mate!

The Attorney General, Lord Squirmer, has decided that paying slave reparations to scroungers is ‘moral'. Is he going to cough up some of the trillions of pounds being demanded out of the legal fees he got from the scroungers? Silence.

“What we really need to know is why Bier Smarmer had his voice coached to make him sound like a Dalek back when he was ignoring the legal law on lock-in.” Serbia Smarma

What actual use is Wee Streeting, our miniature Health Sec., if he has declared a ban on woke & diversity crap jobs but the NHS is ignoring him and continuing to offer salaries of £130K for woke non-jobs with Shirk @ Home options?

Will Bier Smarmer, the lock-in liar, follow President Trump's lead and ban blokes claiming to be female from competing against real women? Nah, he's too wishy-washy & UseLEZ to do anything decisive like that.

Not Xactly richly undeserved!
Chancellor Thievin is getting a good booting from the Building Societies Association over her desire to cut back on the amounts that can go into a tax-free ISA savings account.
   More damage & downturn will be the result of more Thievin predation, the BSA is warning.

Our wonderful Chancellor, Thievin Reeves, is claiming that she and her husband spent one Valentine's Day evening watching a TV special on lessons from the Swedish banking crisis. Is that where she got her ideas for trashing the UK economy?

Forcing landlords to spend money on meeting government energy efficiency targets for their properties WILL result in higher rents.
   There is no ‘could' about it. And only an Edstone Milipede could fail to grasp this obvious action & financial consequence scenario. Either the rent goes up or the landlord sells up and shrinks the market further.

President Trump has cancelled Biden paper drinking straws, which drop to bitz before the drink has been consumed.
   Plastic is back on practicality grounds.

Another one at it
A government planning inspector rejected a plan to build a nuclear power station on Anglesey because it could affect Welsh language & culture adversely.
   Going For Nuke Bier Smarmer was not at all amused. No one sacked for deserving it, though.

The NHS is allowing women who want to pretend to be a man to freeze their eggs in case they decide to change their mind. Meanwhile, female women with medical conditions are being denied this NHS service and forced to go private @ enormous cost.

The Archbishop of Westminster has done some counting and found that MPs have spent over 100 times longer jawing about banning fox hunting than on assisted dying for humans.
[I've seen the figure 700 being tossed around. Ed.]

Universities are shedding lower level minions in order to pay vast & undeserved salaries to figurehead vice-chancellors. No one Xpects good sense from the further education sector any more.
Bier Smarmer's guarantee that his government would add 1,500,000 new homes to the housing stock is now on the BS pile of broken promises now that the economy has been trashed by his fantasist of a Chancellor.
The prospect of Reform UK grabbing more votes from it has scared the government into booting into the long grass, its planned meddling with the gender certification ishue.

The government is letting a gang of Islamic hate preachers do a tour of the UK preaching Islamic hate. That has to be worth more than just 2 Biers on the Substitute For Justice Scale.
   Nothing in the way of an Xplanation on offer from the government.
“It's okay for an Aussie female footballer to call a copper stupid & white. How many Biers is that?” Prie Veyus
“Free speech gives nasty bastards a chance to prove to everyone else what they are.” Ratt 10krantz

Definitely richly deserved!
The indulgence VisitBritain is getting a booting for banning ‘able-bodied' & substituting ‘non-disabled', implying that being disabled is the norm & the able-bodied are a minority.
[And therefore ripe for persecution by idiot qangocrats? Ed.]
“What, exactly, happens to all the brains they remove from the people who get to be qangocrats? Are they sold off as delicacies for cannibals?” Don Taymartin

Public Service Announcement He's been called the Blogger of the Decade His intellect is matched only by the size of his luck and the size of his bank balance. And yet he manages to keep his Feet On The Ground with the greatest of ease. Do yourself a favour and find out what Xavier has had to say about what's going on Right Now!

WEEK 3    Smarming the ‘demic’ into academic

 
The government has been bludgeoned into going along with the view of the Opposition parties & denying illegals; particularly the ones who sneak across the Channel in small boats; any chance of gaining Britisch citizenship.
   Another triumph for lack of popularity over political perversity.

Angular Robot claims that she knows why voters are frustrated with our wonderful government. They wanted to see change and they didn't want change for the worse, which is all that the current incarnation of the Labour party can deliver.
There appears to be no prospect of any improvement, which tells us that Labour is not actually bovvered with the next general election so far away.

The Labour party is shedding one gross of members per day, according to a scrutineer, and it will vanish from sight in 5.8 years' time. We definitely need to speed that up.

The Greek island Santorini is being shaken by an earthquake swarm of hundreds of tremors, some with a magnitude of R4 and one of R5.2, which is considerable. But no casualties or major damage thus far.

The right to be rotten to the core
Labour MPs & councillors are up in arms over attempts to prevent them from slagging people off on WhatsCrapp. They consider it a blatant denial of their ‘uman bluddy right not to like some people.
The people involved in the slagging are Neo Brownites, who celebrate Gordon F. Brown's 2010 decision to slag off a voter in Rochdale who dared to challenge him about immigration. Natch, the Brown bozo didn't know he was being filmed at the time.

Due to a better harvest, olive oil prices, which have more than doubled in the last two years, should start to fall in 3 months from now. Maybe.

Ecofraud Edstone Milipede is to preside over handing hundreds of millions of pounds in Green subsidies to the Drax power station, which burns Canadian primary forest and is the absolute antithesis of Green, and produced electricity at twice the inflated going rate thanks to its fraudulent Green subsidies.
Still no sign of the 300 quid off our energy bills, which Edstone guaranteed before the last election.

Work & Pensions Sec. L. Kendall has booted a plan to cut £3 BILLION off the welfare bill into the long grass, where all the other promises to cut down spending have landed.
Thievin Reeves is shrinking the economy by taking £7 BILLION out of the retail sector with Xtra taxes. Jobs, the number of shops & growth all gone up in smoke as a result, and importing costs up.
Some universities are so desperate for customers that they are slanting their courses toward deviants & Xpecting normal students to turn up in their usual numbers as they are used to being discriminated against.
Pretend you've joined a terrorist group and some crazy immigration judge will declare that a ‘uman bluddy right to live in the UK. & Bier Smarmer will go along with it.

The Church of England is getting yet another booting for trying to swindle its Communicants with alcohol-free wine & gluten-free bread in direct violation of the established rules for being holy. No one surprised.

NBG to NBG
The Health minister minion who was sacked for WhatsCrapp offences has been replaced by a woman who thinks men who claim to be female are women and someone who identifies as a llama should be treated with respect and a straight face. Where do they get these characters?

The best way to avoid having wimmin wasting your time with replies to your job adverts is to ask for candidates with drive & ambition, the Xperts have concluded.

Asleep at the wheel
NHS productivity is just 80% of what it was before the Chinese plague arrived, the Office for Notional Sadistics has calculated.
   The honcho of the Taxpayers' Alliance reckons that Health Sec. Wee Streeting needs to light a bonfire under slacking NHS bosses. But like that's going to happen.

The Army is dropping a stoopidly woke 'fitness' assessment system introduced in 2019 in favour of getting wobbly warriors fit for purpose. No sacking of those who imposed the defective system Xpected.

Lord roadblock Shirker is the living embodiment of Serbia Smarmer's inability to pick anyone capable of doing the job for a government position. Although Bier needs to pass the job on to a minion with a few working brain cells, there seems to be no danger of that happening..

The latest forecast based on the Thievin Budget is that it will kill off 300,000 jobs in the retail sector by 2028. Growth, schmowth!

President Trump has cancelled one-cent copper coins as it costs two cents to manufacture each of them.

Rewards for treachery
Sugar Ray made it to the House of Frauds after stitching up President Boris. Bier Smarmer's minions made sure she didn't stick around for long enuff to do the same to Bier.
Sugar Ray is one of 30 more peers added to the HoF, which Serbia Smarmer guaranteed that he would abolish when in Opposition. Another lie, Bier?
“Sugar Ray had to go through the motions of swearing loyalty to King Chuck. Should we be very afraid she's plotting to do a President Boris-style stitch-up on him next?” Upp Forit

A quick blast from Sherie
“There is a world of difference between someone in the public sector earning a huge amount of our dosh and being paid a huge amount of our dosh.” V. Molodoy
“If the Health Department Is committed to protecting single-sex spaces, does that include single-species spaces? And will the new Wee Streeting minister & llama-lover A Dalton be banned from all NHS facilities?” Truli Falsch
“A judge who abuses a law for Ukrainian refugees to let a group of Gazans into the UK to join a relative they haven't seen for 17 years should be sacked on the spot. End of.” Bo Zhemoi

Sense of proportion problem
The Governor of the Bank of England feels it's necessary to warn our fantasist Chancellor not to go too crazy with her red-tape slashing. A certain level of regulation is vital, A Bailey is saying
   He is remembering what happened in 2008 when Gordon F. Broon failed to regulate the banks because he was trying to use them to buy votes in Scotland, they fell for the sub-prime mortgages scam in the USA and all of them, except Barclays, went bust, costing the poor old taxpayer zillions.
“But will Thievin listen? Costing the poor old taxpayer zillions seems to be all she'd good at.” Axel Airate

Financially challenged Thames Water guaranteed to Ofwat that it would complete 820 upgrade & other schemes between 2020 & March 2025. Which gives TW just 2 weeks to complete 720 of the schemes.
   Will they do it? Oh, the suspense.

A survey by the Sunday Express found that 15% of the respondents thought Thievin Reeves is doing a good job.
   Or did they? Or were they just taking the piss?

Hopes not raised
The latest Xcuse from the cohort of Labour apologists is that it will take the UK economy at least 2 years to recover to where it was last July, before Smarmer's Army started wrecking it.
A government spokes admitted that there is no real point in growing the economy as the proceeds from growth will just be wasted on the wealth-consuming public sector.

Smarmer smacked & ridiculed
He is now requiring his border watchdog guy to work full time in the UK instead of doing Shirking @ Home @ his residence in Finland.
   Whether or not this is a result for Bier depends on how much time the guy spends shirking @ wherever his picks to live in or near the London area. We'll just have to wait and see.

Lord Squirmer is getting another booting for claiming that P. Shiner, the criminal lawyer who tried to stick false war crimes charges on Britisch troops, is a jolly fine fellow.
   If he has worked for Shiner's law firm in the past, it can be assumed that his lordship's definition of ‘fine' is now somewhat irregular.

Dead in the water?
Does it matter if our wonderful Chancellor breaks iron-clad Budget rules, which are based on fiddles? Having trashed the Britisch economy in all directions, she has demonstrated that she's not up to the job. Which means a period of faffing about is inevitable until Smarmer works up the courage to replace her.
   If he dares.
“Her £10 billion headroom gone & Bier has his hand out for £18 billion to give to Mauritius. The iron-clads are looking very rusty.” P.S. Artist

President Trump is doing an excellent job of spreading confusion abroad. His interventions about the future of Gaza and Ukraine have created a high degree of uncertainty, interpretationwise.

Fat alcoholics will get double benefit from semaglutide weight-loss drugs, researchers @ North Carolina U. have found.
   As well as curbing the appetite for food, the drug also does the same for the urge to do heavy drinking.
[Sounds much too good not to have some terrible side-effect lurking in the background. Ed.]

Not close to getting a grip
The Smarmer/Reeves situation is now being positioned as a parallel to the Blair/Brown situation during the New Labour era. Brown kept disagreeing with 'Smug Bugger' Blair and Blair felt that he couldn't sack Brown as that would reflect badly on himself.
[Rather a distant parallel. If not one made in desperation. Ed.]

Canadians have a reputation for being nice people. But not where ice hockey is concerned. The crowd in Montreal booed the US national anthem before a 4 Nations Face-Off match, and 3 fights broke out in the first nine seconds of the proceedings.
   The US clinched a place in the final with a 3-1 win, but they could face Canada again if the stroppy buggers can Finland in their final preliminary match.
President Trump's fun & games with tariffs are being offered as an alibi for the failure of niceness.

White South Africans are reporting to President Trump that they are victims of rachelism by the South African government, which is losing aid from the US thanks to a Trump executive order made in response to a decision by the ANC government in SA to allow expropriation of any property without compensation. Which is plain theft.
NHS Scotland has found that there are not enough pharmacists to take up the slack when customers are directed to them instead of to GPs. The response of the SNP government has been to cut back on training courses for pharmacists.
The £23 BILLION awarded to the NHS has been gobbled up by pay rises, and no attempt has been made to identify & zap waste of resources. No one surprised.

The enemy within or “They don’t like it up ’em!”
Smarmer's Army is still reeling from the accusations made by USVP Vance that the far-Left policy of killing off free speech and making the police record imaginary crimes is a greater threat to the nation than Putinstan.
   Other Europeon leaders also got a bashing at the Munich conference for abandoning traditional values & not listening to the customers, but the UK was singled out as the worst of the whole rotten lot.
This disapproval could be the reason why Trump's war on VAT, which is particularly gross in the UK, will be allowed to hit the UK harder than China if no trade deal is made.

Some young people can find it difficult to understand sounds and spoken words, but if they have a hearing test, the result comes back as ‘normal'. In response, the Xperts have come up with Auditory Processing Disorder, a neurological condition of the brain, which is being blamed on overuse of noise-cancelling headphones.

An economy in growth
Sleep tourism in Scotland; going to a hotel for a really good night's sleep; is Xpected to grow & grow and put lotz of lovely cash into the economy north of the border.
   The Highlands are becoming increasingly popular winter retreats for persecuted customers of Smarmer's Army, to the joy of the wellness industry.

Honked out of town!
An attempt by Bier Smarmer to tell Milton Keynes about his fantasy plan to build 1.5 million new homes on the Green Belt ran into a wall of angry farmers with honking tractor horns. Bier had to beat a hasty retreat back to London to be photographed still wearing his bought-for-the-occasion hi-viz jacket.

A man passing himself off as a woman can be described as engaging in immersive role play, the courts have ruled.

School for scandalous perks
Where do MPs get training in fiddling their Xpenses? A BBC investigation has found that our wonderful Chancellor got hers @ HBOS, where she stuck Xmas presents and all sorts of other stuff on expenses whilst working in the customer relations department.
The mass of BS & fantasies in her online CV is now being blamed on an unidentified minion.

Labour's leader in Scotland's parliament, Anass Aahwaah, has guaranteed to fix the NHS up there, which is no longer fit for purpose. No one impressed.

Labour's guarantee to build 1.5 million new homes is another fantasy. Not nearly enuff construction workers are available to get this done by 2030. Not that Bier Smarmer seems to have noticed this inconvenience.

If you fry potatoes grown without natural sunlight, or eat crisps made from them, you will die, the Xperts reckon. The currently fashionable vertical factory farming using LED lighting creates spuds which, when fried, product 6 times more acrylamide, which is linked to causing tumours.

EPIC police failure
West Midlands Police have won the Steaming Idiots of 2025 award; yes, it's only February; but no one can possible come close in the rest of the year.
   How did WMP do it?
   By cancelling a full-face mug shot of a woman convicted of terrorism offences in favour of one showing her eyes surrounded by black fabric.
   Which totally fails to grasp the concept of using a mug shot for identifying someone.

More from the Fiction Factory
Bier Smarmer is claiming he's met a target for 2 million more NHS appointments. Which set everyone looking for the fiddle used to rig the illusion, given his record for honesty in office.
Q: How was the 2 million Xtra NHS appointments number fiddled?
A: Labour's Chief Fibologist, S.C. Umbag, compared the number of appointments on offer after the NHS strikers had been bought off with the number offered during a period of prolonged strikes.

The banker boss of J.P. Morgan Chase has told Shirkers @ Home to yell all they want but back to the office is the new order of the day, like it or lump it.

“Peace In Our Time”
Outraged Europe is dumping Trump in the Chamberlain Box over selling out Ukraine to Putinstan.
   Trump, meanwhile is determined not to let Uncle Sam become Uncle Sucker. His latest splendid deal is for Europe to buy lotz more US weapons & energy to keep him friendly(ish).

Ahora, pesetas, hombres!
In his eagerness to do a deal, any deal, with Putrid the poisoner, D. Trump has skidded off the Road to Righteousness and into the realm of the far-Wrong.
   Land for Putrid, Ukrainian minerals for Trump. And sod the people who own the land and the minerals.
“Hey, Trump is a politician, not a rocket surgeon.” Fran Siffle
“Trump did his Wednesday night Miami speech in front of F.U. Institute massed logos. What's that all about?” Dan Drift
President Zelenskiy's approval rating 4%, sez Trump.
PM Smarmer's approval rating -42, say the polls here.

GDP per head of population fell by 0.4% in the last half of 2024, when Labour was in office, making everyone worse off. Apart from those with their hand up to the elbow in the national cookie jar, of course.
The economic direction for the next 6 months is predicted to be sideways. No one surprised.

The school exams watchdog is getting on the case of pushy parents, who game the system to get Xtra time for their kid(s) during Xams. Private schools, which cost the parents serious cash, are going along with this more than the state sector.
A persistent Portuguese criminal can't be deported, the judicial Blob has decided, ‘coz his kid needs speech therapy paid for by the Britisch taxpayer. Cute.
The government endorsement of the Drax power station scam is being taken as a nod of approval to them by everyone with a wood-burning stove in their home plus either a bush in the garden or an acorn sprouting in a plant pot on a window sill as a nod in the direction of carbon capture.

Lurdexamy Adjustment Courses
The entire retinue covered
Single-sex spaces rigorously protected
Romiley Wellness Centre, 23c Riverside Drive

Q: Why doesn't GenZ drink alcohol?
A: Because they're usually too zonked on cocaine or ecstasy to open bottle or can and pour into a glass.

Another way to waste money or
   Both Ears Fully Closed
Lambeth Council is getting a booting for making decisions on Lo-Traffic Zones then holding phoney public consultations to give the customers a chance to sound off but not be listened to.
   As a direct result, the council minions who have to listen to the irate customers telling them they're useless idiots have to be given lotz of days off to recover, further reducing the council's value for money delivery.

Q: Has the Shirk @ Home era; or, indeed, error; come to a close?
A: There will be a lot more kicking & screaming done before it's drowned in the bog of failed scams.

“Where is Bier Smarmer going to find 15,000 troops to send to Ukraine? This government's fantasies are out of control now, never mind 'getting'.” M.K.

Traitor’s Gate
The view from the US about Bier Smarmer's attempts to hand the Chagos Islands and a HUGE wodge of our cash to Mauritius is much the same as the view here.
   BS is a danger to the US & his sell-out is a product of either malice or incompetence, and poison to the now notional Special Relationship.
Lest we forget, the ruling that the Chagos Islands belong to Mauritius has no legal force and can be ignored. Which shifts Smarmer away from incompetence towards malice.

Thievin Reeves gets inflation up from 2.5% in December to 3% in January. A government spokes commented: "We know things are tough, but that's just tough."

Justice confused or abused
The Chief Justice of England & Wales is deeply troubled by what's being said in the House of Commons, where laws are made, about judges @ immigration tribunals, where laws are abused.
   The particular ishue is a judge's decision to use a scheme for Ukrainian refugees to let Gazans come here on a highly dodgy pretext.
   No danger of any sackings of dodgy judges, though?

Labour in Opposition: We're going to close the migrant hotels.
Labour in Government: No, we're not going to close the hotels, we were lying.
No one surprised.

“Are we to assume that HBOS, which had collapsed as a going concern in 2008, decided just to get shot of Thievin Reeves instead of wasting time & effort on doing her for fiddling her Xpenses? It certainly Xplains why she didn't get another job between leaving HBOS and becoming an MP.” Venta Stray

Do YOU have some SERIOUS wrecking to do?
You need the Thievin™ brand sledgehammer!
Makes short work of structures of all types.
*** Foundations a Speciality ***
Romiley Construction, 113d Riverside Drive

What Xactly is Lord Squirmer up to?
Is he trying to do so much road-blocking everywhere in government circles that he gets the sack and he can then go to an industrial tribunal to get dodgy judges to award him zillions in compenbloodysation?
“The big question is how much serious damage he will do before Bier is bludgeoned into giving him the hammer & tack. It will have to be bludgeoned as Bier is too lilly-livered, or perverse, to do what's best for the nation even when he knows it needs to be done.” Notre Dome

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WEEK 4    And now, more government of self-service

 
The BierBC has been booted for making a ‘documentary' full of Hamas propaganda.
President Trump has been booted for living in a swamp of Putinstani propaganda & accusing Ukraine of starting the war with Putrid the Poisoner. Also, for accusing President Zelenskiy of being a dicktater for not holding elections whilst Putinstan is bombing the fucq out of his country.
London's cosmetic clown of a mayor, Sadgeek K'han't, is getting a booting for presuming to tell a meeting of EU ambassodors that Brexit was a mistake. Nowhere near as big a mistake as you, mate!

“The only way Bier Smarmer can act as a bridge between Europe & the White House is by lying down in a puddle and letting everyone walk along him when they visit one another.” Dunquin Donut

The UK spent £59 BILLION on defence in 2024. What a huge difference donating the £18 BILLION (or more) that Smarmer wants to hand to Mauritius to the defence budget instead would make.
The policy of watering down the Assisted Suicide Bill has almost reached the point of drowning it. As usual, the catastrophic Thievin Budget is getting the blame.
MPs have managed to reduce their working year by a full week by persistently skiving off early. No danger of a reduction in pay, though.
"The Labour lot can't hack it," a Tory spokes observed. "Just a few months in the job and the newbies have been reduced to zombies."

Artificial Intelligence, or an artificial Substitute for intelligence?
   Given the amount of looney-Left bias built in to the source material which is cited as gospel, intelligence doesn't really come in to it a lot of the time.
   The systems do have a certain amount of learning capability, as demonstrated by shifts following the election of President Trump in what are considered to be majority views, but the systems lack the scepticism needed to spot that something daft—told to them as a fact—ain't true.

Quid Pro Quo Vadis
The bloke who went up against Bier Smarmer to be the Labour candidate for Holborne & St. Pancras in 2014, and lost, is now in the House of Frauds. And he can sit next to his mother, who's another inmate.

Islamerfervour—that's what's behind the push for an Islam-biased blasphemy law to buy Moslem votes for the Labour party.

Humpback whales are larking about off the Cornish coast. They are being attracted by an abundance of grub for those visiting us in winter, the Xperts reckon.

Let’s get it right
It's a feature of the legal trade that SOME members operate the cab rank rule, taking cases as they arrive and not associating with their clients' opinions.
   It is also a feature that certain members seek out the scum of the Earth for maximum profit.

Trump’s Hard Surrender
Mr. Farage from the garage has taken on the job of Xplaining that taking D. Trump literally is a mistake. He needs interpreters like Mr. Farage to tell us what he really means when he utters something that seems outrageous or totally dumb.
“What we have to realize is that the Yanks are 3,000 to 6,000 miles from where the trouble is going on & in no danger. All they're thinking about is the money rather than the misery of people who are having the fucq bombed out of them by Putinstan.” C. Manship
“The idea that Trump will take any notice of Smarmer when they meet next week is totally ludicrous.” Giva Ninch

Don’t panic yet
Both poles are showing record levels of sea-ice reduction, boffins in the US have concluded from their satellite observations.
   How serious, or not, this is remains impossible to tell due to the relatively short period for which this data is available.

Good News: replacement human teeth could be grown in laboratories to replace broken & diseased & missing ones.
Bad News: They won't be available for over 20 years.

President Trump's slide into Putin the Poisoner's pocket has let Bier Smarmer off the hook. BS spent the beginning of the week telling Europeon leaders that Ukraine needs a security force.
   The Trump sell-out spares slippery Smarmer the embarrassment of having to admit we don't have the military resources to fulfil his promises. And we can't afford the plan anyway. The Reeves assault on the national economy has seen to that by putting the country into a debt death spiral.

interesting Fact: If the government makes spreading disinformation a criminal offence, we'll have to build Nightingale prison camps to house the nation's politicians.

FakeBuk's owner is planning to connect the UK, India, South Efrica & Brazil with an undersea communications cable, which will be 31,000 miles long.
   Enhanced burial techniques will be needed to put it deep enuff in ocean floors to be fairly protected from sabotage by China & Putinstan. Which will do a lot of damage to the overall cost of the project.

The Welsh government is insisting that pharmacists have to take a totally irrelevant course on the not-so-great global warming swindle as part of their qualification process.
   A total waste of time & money, of course, but that's the sort of woke stoopidity you expect in Labour-run Wales.

Universities are wasting £18 million per year on diversity crap with some of the wonks in charge of this diversion being paid more than senior academics doing a legitimate job.

Marsman Musk's Dept. of Government Efficiency (DOGE) in the Untied States is hoping to mash the wasteful government Blob to the Xtent of being able to offer a DOGE Dividend of $5,000 to all US citizens.
[But not to illegals, Ed.]
“Just what we need desperately here but are never likely to get.” Bollocks 2 Berko

Q: What have our judges done now?
A: Ruled that a 23-year-old bloke from Sudan is a child refugee. Sheesh!
Q: CPAC?
A: Completely Paranoid American Conservatives.
[President Boris on steroids? Ed.]

We keep being told how the government is struggling for cash. Not shedding the Chagos Islands would save £18 BILLION for starters. How come none of the geniuses in our wonderful government has thought of this? It's only one-third of the Defence budget. Not enuff to get their attention?

Edstone Milipede guaranteed we'd spend £300 less on energy. How that going to happen with Ofgem putting prices up next week?
Oftwat is putting water prices up, too, just to make matters worse.

Bier Smarmer's plan to put troops we don't have in Ukraine has managed to get Putin the Poisoner chewing his carpet. He would be really upset if troops from NATO countries visited what's left of his neighbour.
The Defence Sec., J. Healey, is getting a booting for vowing to re-arm Britain to cope with a new era of threats without having any cash to do it.
The government is also getting a booting for booting reviews of Defence spending into the long grass instead of actually doing anything.

Over and done for
The hairdressing industry has announced that Thievin's calamity of a Budget will be the final nail in its coffin. So that will be Reeves the Grey in the Commons, unless she can do a DIY dyeing job.
Some salons could survive by shedding employees & hiring self-employed staff to relieve themselves of employer NI rises.
As further fall-out, Angrier Robot's employees' rights Bill will become irrelevant when there are no employees left.

Also on the way out
The revived Dr. Who, which became a parking lot for preverts under Disney's dead hand, looks like collapsing back into o'blivion in response to viewer outrage and declining viewing figures.
The BierBC spin is that the show isn't being shelved. No, it will just be having a prolonged break until everyone has forgotten how dreadful it became.

Thievin is getting a booting for claiming she wrote articles for the Journal of Political Economy when she didn't.
The Business Sec., J. Reynolds, has Thievin's Disease. He's claiming he worked as a solicitor when he didn't.
Bier Smarmer is getting a booting for pretending that Labour's failure to do anything about migration is all Reform UK's fault.
“Vote Reform, Get Labour. And we did. Typical ingratitude from a far-Left scumbag.” Chashka Chaivon

Q: Why would a council want to destroy a successful business which sells jacket potatoes by converting the site where the owner parks his trailer into a flower bed?
A: Labour runs Tamworth Borough Council in Staffordshire.

Woke Robots
The reason why MPs are so out of touch with reality is being given as 90% of them went to universities where free speech isn't allowed & only far-Left wonky views are acceptable.

Sherie goes large
“D. Trump is human & subject to moral failure. That's behind his blaming Ukraine for forcing Putrid the Poisoner to invade. No one is perfect all of the time.” Desi Cated
“But some, like Putrid, are imperfect all the time by choice because they kno they can get away with it. There always plenty of far-Left chumps & crooks to create alibis for them.” Cyber Blitz
“Most judges do a competent job. The ones who get the public's attention are the ones who choose to make ridiculous decisions.” Cocco Van
“The legal trade is now trying to blame politicians for failing to future-proof the laws they pass rather than the failure of the legal trade to regulate itself and expel the idiots. Translation of future-proofing: The politicians failed to realize that the system would permit judges in the future to be like the ones who are screwing up so badly now.” P. Hairy Mandelswine
“Judicial quality drop-off. Cute.” B. Wildered

Our electricity & gas cost four time more than they need to due to brain-dead politicians pursuing policies of Nett Zero benefit to either the population of the UK or the global climate.
FACT: The Nett Zero agenda is hugely unaffordable & the government is being dishonest about it. The cost outweighs the benefits enormously. But the government doesn't want you to kno this.
The apologists for the Nett Zero disaster are blaming poor performance of the stooges involved rather than the idiocy of the basic concept.

Repairing the damage
Sometime Tory leader William "14 pints" Hague has kicked off his new job as the figurehead Chancellor of Oxford U. with an attack on the cancel culture now prevailing there and the arrogance of the far-Left, which pretends that people who don't share their twisted view of the world don't exist.
   "Not on my watch," is his message.

A Polish woman who claims she is the disappeared Madelaine McCann was busted on arrival in the UK on charges of stalking & harassing the McCann parents.

Not exactly a des res
The first royal tomb discovered in Egypt since King Tut's in 1922 has been assigned to Thutmose II. The tomb, found in 2022, has been badly damaged by flooding and the king's remains were removed after it was looted. The body of the king was found nearby during excavations in the 19th century.

Esso petrol 138.9p/litre in Romiley.
Esso diesel 144.9p/litre.
Diesel down 1p.

Thievin's VAT raid on private schools has helped to push inflation to its highest level for 10 months. We're back in the 1970s & stagflation. Wunderbar.

Leader of the West or useful idiot?
D. Trump is now being positioned as a narcissistic stooge, who has been in the KGB's pocket since the 1980s. Get out of that!
[He probably will. Ed.]

Going down!
The residents of Godston, Surrey, have more red barriers deployed on their high street than we have currently here in Romiley where they are converting a crossing point into one with lights and buttons to press.
   A pair of enormous sink holes opened up a couple of days apart and everyone in range of them had to be evacuated. The job in Romiley is scheduled to last 10 weeks. 10 months to get the job in Surrey done?

The Royal College of Nursing is getting a booting for putting the rights of transpicaters ahead of those of actual female nurses. This is seen as part of the current unfairness agenda which has been adopted by most far-Left dominated trade unions.
The BierBC is trying to shed responsibility for making a pro-Hamas documentary by throwing the producers under a bus. The Beeb's bosses are in full "Not me, Gov!" mode and not admitting their failure to do due diligence.

Clearing out the wokes
The Pentagon has been savaged by D. Trump. America's top military bod, Air Force General C.Q. Brown, got the chop for his support of diversity (instead of merit) & the dead criminal G. Floyd, the inspiration for the Blame Bunchers.
The new Defence Sec. in the US aims to refocus the military on its primary job of deterring, fighting & winning wars. An attitude we could do with here rather desperately.

Bier Smarmer is getting a good booting from Scottish trade unions for destroying jobs, mainly by preventing the extraction of off-shore reserves of oil & gas, which is destroying thousands of them.

Brilliant!
Two hobos in Toulouse stole a backpack & used the owner's credit card to buy a scratch card; which has won a 500,000 euro prize!
   The hobos can't cash it for fear of being arrested but the bloke whose backpack they stole is willing to drop the charges & go halves with them if they return his wallet.

Minging
Scottish Labour was indulging in all sorts of fantasies at its party conference, promising things like a Musk-style campaign of value for money If it takes over control of Stormont from the SNP.
   Which kinda ignores the prospect of Labour being wiped out in next year's elections thanks to the wrecking job that Smarmer's Army is doing in England.
The SNP is now calling the Scottish Labour leader, Anass Aahwaah, a pound-shop Elon Musk. Which is not actually a condemnation if the SNP is making no attempt to eliminate waste & get essential ferries completed, build vital bitz of road & do all the rest of the things that Scotland needs increasingly desperately. Even a pale shadow of the Musk crusade would be better than nothing.

Bier Smarmer has been booted by POTUS Trump for doing nothing to end the war in Ukraine. Which, given Smarmer's record for screwing up, might not be a bad thing.
President MacRon of France has also been booted for doing nothing. No doubt the same will happen to German's leader when there is one.

Forget 10 months, the current guess for the Godston, Surrey, sink hole repair is at least a year.

Idiots who watch the crApp TikTok are doing themselves serious injury by joining in the current estupido estremo craze for dropping heavy objects on their feet and rating the pain they get.
   Real nutters are doing it with vacuum cleaners, PC monitors, air fryers, wooden tables & similarly stoopidly heavy stuff.

Somewhat of an imbalance
Here, Labour gained 20% of the votes of the electorate in national elections and formed the government. In Germany, the patriotic AfD also got 20% but ended up in second place behind the soft-Right CDU-CSU.
   Horse-trading is now going on to create a coalition with a majority in the Bundestag.

Sometime PM & war-monger t.b. liar's think tank has savaged the Smarmer Army claim that green growth will create lotz of jobs. No, it won't. It's just another Labour fantasy and betrayal of the country.

Reality Bites Smarmer’s Bum!!
Increasing Defence spending @ the Xpense of overseas aid is the first thing Smarmer has ever done in the national interest. [And the last? Ed.] This is being hailed as a Trump victory over the Blob.
“We've been civilizing the world for centuries & hurling vast amounts of cash @ bitz of it for ages. What do we get? Gratitude? No chance! Just scroungers with their hands out for TRILLIONs more. Cutting them off is long overdue.” Splatny Kraposhch
“Bit of a laugh that eternally anti-Britisch Bier got stuck with the job!” G. Ravity
“And guess who he tried to dump the blame on—Dangerous Farage.” Musk Katonic
“This makes handing £18 BILLION and the Chagos Islands to Mauritius an even greater betrayal. But that probably doesn't bother Bier.” Blah Stoft

The Macmillan Cancer Support charity has sacked a quarter of its staff & cancelled its hardship scheme. But despite its financial straits, it can still find £100K as the salary for a head of diversity crap.
   To no one's surprise, this has produced a drop in donations as people direct their charity cash elsewhere.

Our wonderful government is getting a booting for gerrymandering the planning process to crawl into China's pocket by allowing the construction of a mega spying centre cum embassy to be built over vital infrastructure for the capital's financial services.
The General Medical Council is getting a booting from Health Sec. Wee Streeting for hiding the disciplinary record of doctors who claim they've changed sex, which gives them a new membership number.
Judges are getting a booting for being soft on repeated knife criminals. 40% of them now get just a slap on the wrist rather than gaol compared to 31% seven years ago.

Keep them coming!
Another theory for why D. Trump is trying to scrag President Zelenskiy is that he's jealous of the attention the guy is getting.
   Marvin the paranoid android and mechanical star of The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy had a brain the size of a planet. And that's how big Trump's ego is.
   The more attention someone else gets, the less is available to Trump the paranoid president.

Sherie nips back with a theme
“Copyright is a right. How strange that a human rights lawyer like Smarmer doesn't get that. How peculiar that he thinks it's okay for him to cancel it quite casually. Wot's the bung?” Tan Gential
“When the next edition of The Book of Betrayals is published, it will be interesting to see which gets the more space, those of Trump or those of Smarmer & Co.” Abb Solute

Another one at it.
To no one's surprise, Angrier Robot, she of the multiple homes & a system gamer, has got herself into a CV tangle.
   Is there anyone in Smarmer's Army who won't be outed as either confused or deliberately deceitful about their work history?
   Or is it some sort of Labour job qualification?

Edstone Milipede, the Don Quixote of the Labour party.
   Or should that be the Donkey Hoté?

The looney Left think they are right and everyone who doesn't agree with them is wrong, a study has confirmed. And they are too idle to be arsed to Xplain themselves. And their propaganda is full of basic factual errors because checking facts is beneath them.
The Cornish police are getting a booting for letting masked far-Left Xtremists attempt to blockade a Reform UK rally in Pool.

Q: How does 3 Israelis equal 369 Palestinians? a newspaper reader asked.
A: The Israelis have 123 times more Occupied Territory than the Hamas could be a clue.
“It's quite right for Israel to delay releasing Palestinian prisoners until the Hamas stop humiliating theirs by parading a couple of them before a gun-toting mob at the release point. Imagine the nightmare of assembling a baying mob of equivalent size for the release of 620 Palestinians.” Smor Gasboard

Today’s Quotation:
Smarmer's Army banged on about a costa living crisis in Opposition. In government, they have created a costa living catastrophe.

Q: LPG?
A: Labour Political Garbage, e.g. Thievin's £22 billion Brown Hole & Edstone's 300 quid off energy bills.

Someone is rather worried!
Bier Smarmer, who presides over Labour's thought crime culture, is being mocked mercilessly for pretending that the rising star Mr. Farage from the garage is dangerous and so far-Right as to be almost out of sight.
Mr. Farage takes this as evidence of how desperate Smarmer has become as everything continues to go wrong around him because Bier is just one of a gang of incompetents.
He also knows how easy it is to stick it to Smarmer, as demonstrated by his suggestion that we should sell the Chagos Islands to America instead of giving them away and wasting billions of pounds whilst doing it. That suggestion really left Smarmer floundering.
“The main danger we're in is Labour's abuse of power & doing things like sending the police after a grandmother who dared say online that a Labour councillor should resign.” Al Q'atraz
“Deeply politicized judicial system, police farces, snivel service, etc. That's what we've had from the far-Left.” Celeste Yalsphere
“Greater Manchester Police faffing about with a non-crime; who's the Polis Commissioner? Jonah Burnham. Labour.” Zuta Lors

Smarmer’s Latest Betrayal
He intends to accept EFU food laws with no say in how they're framed and more rulings from biased EFU judges.
   Just another bit of his Bugger Up Brexit plan.
“It's difficult to define the current government in one word with betrayal, dishonesty & incompetence all competing for the top spot.” A. Tholbrose

Below the line mission statement: Some of this is true, maybe, but probably not the parts that seem most real and most likely as we use current standards of elasticity where facts are concerned.
   We are constantly exposed to dodgy conclusions drawn from dodgy data by jumped-up 'experts', especially the ones found in the world of politics and particularly those at the Treasury and running trade unions.
   Some of us civilians at BFN like to join in to let them know that anyone can do it and we ain't impressed by their efforts.

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Created for Romiley Anarchists' League by workers in revolt against oppression to set the record straight in the 3rd millennium. © RAL, February MM25 like anyone cares.