Can you possible survive without Erato Tropicalé?
You don't need to! We have plenty!
New season, new flavours, old favourites; they are all on offer
Romiley Erato Delicacies, 33c Riverside Drive
 Procipation or Anticipation? If you can hack it, why not? And if you can't, don't.
But don't spoil it for others, even if you feel ludicrously entitled.
 Sherie Unloads a Bumper Bundle
 “China musta made a bomb out of the corrynation. Just think where all them flags were made.” Talshir Gulliver
“At the last coronation, in 1953, the nation was still tired & poverty-stricken after coming through World War Two. This time around, we've been poverty-stricken since Gordon F. Broon blew all our cash and we're tired ‘coz of the Chinese plague and all them strikes. Plus ça change.” Kar Ashow
 “It's telling that the honcho of the EFU did her speech in Kyiv in English rather than a mainland europeon language. If you want to communicate to the max, you need the language most people in the West see as essential.” Tomar Nold
“There are times when the police have to make value judgements and on Coronation Saturday, they delivered some Xtremely rare value for money judgements against ludicrous yobos.” 4 Ensic
“Why do they have semi-finals for the Yurovision song thing? What do they think they're getting ready for? The FAC Up?” A. Mintosh
  Inflation In Action
The amount involved in the VISA card scam from an 07 phone number has gone up. It was £800. It is now £900.
“What looks dafter than some stooge standing under an umbrella outside the Bonk of England building in the pouring rain as he tells us the bank rate has gone up to 4.5%? Nothing much comes to mind.” Kree Kinabit
  Using a phone for more than 4 minutes 17 seconds per day will give you high blood pressure, the Xperts reckon. Which leaves us asking why all those needing to get a life bozos who spend all day yakking into a pocket phone haven't Xploded yet.
 Noo Yawk is attempting to make it a rule that persons of colour, especially scruffy to the max derelicts, can run riot on subway trains and may not be challenged and told to Foxtrot Oscar.
“You have to wonder what the guy; it's always a guy; is doing on the subway without a ticket, which he won't have if he's a derelict.” O. Farkit
 No $100M payday for the heirs of dead pop person M. Gaye (American). They tried, and failed, to do live pop person E. Sheeran (Britisch) for copyright infringement. Mr. Sheeran is determined not to be a piggy bank.
 The UK Health Security Agency is predicting an epidemic of measles in the UK thanks to the efforts of the anti-vaxxers and the gullibility of snoflakes.
  99 bottles of bier on the wall
Is anyone surprised that republican Bier Smarmer sank a few bottles of bier and found himself able to pretend to flip-flop and be all in favour of King Chuck?
Insincerity is as insincerity does.
“You always have to ask: ‘Is it the bier talking?' Which is probably is.” Lou Sifer
“You can't really accuse Bier Smarmer of throwing his principles under a bus if he doesn't have any. On the other hand, if the context is politics, facts don't really matter.” Mick Chewrater
 Website or Wibblesite?
Where do you draw the line?
 Dreadful handicap
Bier Smarmer reckons our Snackstabber PM can't understand the problems of the peasantry ‘coz Rikishi made the effort to make himself seriously rich.
But Smarmer himself isn't Xactly short of a few bob, having had his hand in the taxpayer's pocket up to the shoulder for decades in one non-job or another. Spiked on his own harpoon but probably too biered up to notice.
 Hate! Hate! Hate!
Some anti-Britisch rachelist of colour female actor person has been encouraged by ITV and the BierBC to moan about the lack of black faces on the Buck House balcony after King Chuck's coronation.
No great surprise, though. That sort will do anything to be noticed and the ludicrous meeja will give them every encouragement.
 Ludicrous politics
Labour & Trivials conspiring anti-democratically to swindle a Tory candidate in an election is a pro-gressive alliance.
[See ‘pro', see a swindle on the way is a sound rule of thumb Ed.]
 If there is an anti-Tory majority in the country, there is also an equivalent anti-Labour majority and a HUGE anti-Trivial majority & a STONKING anti-Green majority.
But so bloody what? That's the way it always has been and always will be.
 Wishfulness
What the NHS is really, really hoping for is that people will get the message that the NHS can't cope and there's no real point in bothering it and things would be so much simpler if the customers just stayed @ home and croaked quietly.
  Supposition as the mother of invention
"Can this big barge solve the boat people crisis?" we were asked as the TV news showed pictures of the Big Black Thing.
If it holds only on day's cross-Channel trippers, it's more symbolic than practical. But it does serve the useful purpose of annoying some usual suspects with nothing better to do than find ways to hurl other people's money around.
“It's not crool to use it for people who chose to impose themselves on us uninvited, Xpecting to freeload. They do have the option of going somewhere else.” Passion Hagt
 Today’s Wisdom:
There is ox and there is bollox. If politics is involved, the latter usually applies.
  Attempts are being made to position Sugar ‘Smarmergate' Ray as a James Bondish hero who spied on the IRA in the 1990s whilst making a bog of running a pub near the border with Southern Ireland alongside a Country & Western star wannabe.
“For sure, we're going to remember her as the woman who single-handedly zapped what little was left of the servile service's reputation for impartiality.” Titan Grass
 A fellow Partygate confecter & the current Cabinet Sec., S. Case, is also heading for the political dustbin for being deliberately obstructive.
 Q: Yamomas?
 A: Ya momma's mustache. A traditional Italian-American insult.
Despite all the chat about how dreadfully its cost is increasing, living is proving to be as popular as ever.
The government is giving GPs £240 MILLION of taxpayers' dosh for new phone systems to make it a lot easier to tell the customers that there are no appointments on offer.
 The constant coming out of political focus group sessions is that the customers see Bier Smarmer as useless. As the Sassenach version of Humbug Useless, in fact.
  Smarmer's Chancellor wannabe, R. Reeves, belongs in the same club if she knows nothing about Sadgeek K'han't's ULEZ [so close to Useless! Ed.] stealth tax on London's motorists.
Reeves is offering being an MP for Leeds as an alibi for her iggorance, even though she was born in London, she tried to become the MP for a constituency in the area, she has a taxpayer-funded billet there and she's supposed to work in central London.
Beyond prethetic, but that's typical of Labour.
 Also, Smarmer's Attorney General wannabe, Lady Thornberry, is bidding to take over from ‘Abacus' Abbott as Labour's financial genius without a clue, which seems to be an essential position in the party's hierarchy.
 Getting the balance right
Notwork Rail is finding it cheaper to do essential maintenance work on days when train drivers are on strike and nothing is moving as an alternative to night and weekend work.
 Putinstan is targetting Red Cross depots in Ukraine with missles.
How very humanitarian of Putrid.
 “Is voting in a Labour or Trivial council that will deliver a worse service @ a higher cost a protest or masochism?” K. Anchter
“Local elections and general elections are totally different animals with completely different ishues. But, of course, it doesn't suit the BS merchants to recognize this fact.” B. Orda
Q: Cybier attack?
A: Assault by boozed up A.I.s with a ludicrous left bias.
  Always on the cards
The Bet On Anything gang are now giving odds on when the usual suspects will stop going on about what was right and/or wrong about the corrynation.
“An end to contrasts between the Prince of Wales & the Prince of Wails? That doesn't really seem possible!” Lou Sifer
Q: H.R.H.?
A: Hapless Ratbag Hairy, in his case.
Today’s Wisdom:
Wonk Window Dressing invites the Brick of Derision through the glass.
 The Snackstabber has done a U-turn on scrapping thousands of vexatious EFU regulations. Who does he think he is? Bier Smarmer?
Bremoaner Blobists are getting the blame for sabotaging his efforts.
 Time for the bin
The Archybish of Cantab told the House of Frauds that the government is treating migrants as invaders. Which is Xactly what the boat people & the stowaways on lorries and all the rest are.
Do we really need an Archybish who fails to grasp the bleedin' obvious when it's right under his nose?
“So if someone climbs through a window and camps in a spare room in one of his palatial residences, that's okay?” K. Anchter
“Or if a gang of dossers does it, that's officially a Good Thing?” B. Orda
“What make the Archybish so keen on encouraging the people smugglers? Is the Mostly Revolting J. Welby getting an advertising budget from them?” Egoni Blick
 Today’s Question:
Which will happen first, Hapless Hairy going bald or Hairy stopping going bang in all directions?
Today’s Other Question:
Why isn't that rachelist of colour woman who called the Royals ‘terribly white' in gaol for preaching rachel hatred? Could her terribly not-whiteness have anything to do with it?
Are pharmacies really going to hand out prescription drugs without a doctor's line if they lose money on the service? We're in the realm of ‘in your dreams' with that one.
"Thurson on Thursday"
And every other day of the week!
There's a price-hold—but only while stocks last
Thurston of Romiley, 42a Riverside Drive
Q: How do you make sure that Britain doesn't win Ukraine's Song Contest, which Eurovision forced them to hold here?
A: Give the Britisch entry to a ludicrous Corbynsteiner UK-hater. That will definitely do it every time.
 A university in Finland is trying to promote family discord in Wales with a claim that grandkids get a better deal from their maternal grandparents than from their paternal grandparents.
Why did the Snackstabber stab President Boris in the back? ‘Coz Boris was about to give him the sack for refusing to cut taxes.
Why aren't we getting warm spring weather?
Gorbal warmage. Get out of that.
 Big is different but not always better
The government is to allow the use of super-long lorry + trailer combinations from the end of the month. With the railways always on strike, distribution is a problem.
But as the heavier lorries will break up roads faster than the ones in use now, and they will be a hazard to life & limb, especially on ‘smart' motorways, the cost-benefit guesstimate of £7 BILLION over 5 years is looking decidedly dodgy.
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Those in positions of authority are advised to refrain from apologizing to vexatious Xhibitionists as it makes the apologist look unfit for purpose and only encourages the vexatious to be even more so.
 The Pope has ordered his customers to go forth & multiply ‘coz he is running out of donors of serious cash and his churches are looking empty.
 Yellow Snow
A snivel service trade union boss wants everyone to stop noticing that his members are wonks, lazy, useless Bremoaners & saboteur snoflakes. Stamped bootie month?
He's also upset ‘coz the entire system is designed to protect the prime monster and not moaning minions who make vexatious complaints.
 Bier Smarmer's decision to embrace woke just confirms what an air-head he is and that he is someone who lives on his knees to every passing bunch of bandwagoners.
The Smarmer Banana—yeller as they come!
[One gets a sense of a certain amount of hostility. Ed.]
  Smarmer reveals that his party takes charges of sexual harassment as unseriously as charges of anti-Semmitism.
 Smarmer wants to take the UK back to the good old daze of illegal warmongering and tax & waste that was on offer from corrupt new labour. Wunderbar.
 
 NHS England blows £40 MILLION/year on diversity wonks instead of providing NHS services of actual use to the customers.
 Honcos of 3 sewage-dumping water companies have been shamed out of taking vast bonuses for failure. But, no doubt, some other perk will be on offer.
Pakistan is doing well in the league of corruption tolerant countries, which go on the rampage when a previously top politician is busted for it.
Had he survived, the bloke who inspired the oath "Gordon Bennett!" would have been 182 years old this month.
 Self-fulfilling prophecy
China sez Trussty Lizzie going on a visit to Taiwan is something that will raise tensions. No Sugar Shirley time if everyone knows President Shish will be doing the raising. Or his minions.
Q: Should we be pleased that wind power created more electricity than gas in the period from January to March of this year?
A: If the electricity cost a hell of a lot more in subsidies, Nope!
“How long will it be before the country is covered with dumps of unrecyclable wind turbine blades?” D. Ragon
“Maybe everyone will have been driven crazy by the infrasound and low-frequency noise from wind farms and we'll be beyond caring.” Perce E. Cute
  “It's a s**t show”
SNP insiders, talking about the cult of obsessive security in the party's leadership, reckon it's time to drain the swamp. How soon before Labour's leadership wannabes start yelling the same about Smarmer's dirty & nasty policy?
“The wannabes might yell about swamp drainage but it's politics and it ain't gonna happen. Didn't happen after t.b. liar was evicted, nor with Corbynstein. So why should it happen when Corbynstein's monster gets tossed into another gutter from the one the party wallows in?” Mikheil Hearse
“The lower orders in the SNP are complaining about a lack of transparency and the honchos are claiming they are improving it. But how to do you make a chunk of Edinburgh rock transparent? Apart from applying enuff dynamite to turn it to non-obstructing dust.” D. Awesom
Today’s Wisdom:
Sometimes, the Gods smile on you. Probably because they're planning to grot all over you all next week. So make the most of it while you can.
 Noo Yawk Logic:
A jury can find someone not guilty of a rape but guilty of defaming the unraped woman by maintaining that he hadn't raped her.
Another triumph of Democrap politics over justice & reality in the Land of the Free.
Rat’s RoundUp
"One-tank Putrid", they're calling him after he could manage only one antique for his Big Putinazi Parade in Moscovicious.
Bier Smarmer announces that Labour is preparing a dirty & nasty campaign for the next general election.
Smarmer to let EFU citizens vote for Labour in UK elections & reverse Brexit unilaterally to get it done.
Plus reducing voting age to 13.
Archybish Welby upsetting the gobnarzi by grabbing his fans?
Smarmer admits nasty is in Labour's DNA.
Labour wimmin demanding their turn @ leadership—will they get nasty with Smarmer?
Sherie Steps In
“What's corrupt new labour on steroids? Nasty Smarmer invading Putinstan?” Cash O'Neely
“If Smarmer ever gets to be PM, we won't have to worry about climate change. He'll make things so ghastly that what the climate is doing will be totally trivial in comparison.” Terry Fick
Costa Shirking
Shirk @ Homers are being warned that if their job can be done without their presence in the workplace, then it is liable to be outsourced to someone overseas who will do it cheaper.
 Those who do a 3-day week in the office are now officially known as TWATs—Tuesday, Wednesday And Thursdays.
“Oxford & Cambridge graduates need not apply”
How soon before we see these words in job advertisements now that both former seats of learning have gone down the woke hole and made their degrees worthless?
 The contempt right back at yer
US propagandists are on a loser if they Xpect us to believe that Creaky Joe was in Ireland to prevent the Brits from screwing around with the peace process. One small problem. Joe would need to be awake and aware to actually do anything useful.
“And the Brits would have to be daft enough to go along with his pro-IRA B.S.” D. Innerfash
Some choice!
It's all very well, the Californian Xperts ordering us to pause A.I. development, but unless China, Putinstan and other unfriendly states do the same, we ‘umans will all be wiped out by their A.I.s rather than by ones created in the West.
Attention Clout-Casters: May be out [hawthorn in flower, Ed.]
Bluebells are also out but Whitebells [red arrow] are mostly on strike
 It never stops
The clots @ the Prison Service, prop. P. Copple [right], have cancelled the word ‘convict' applied to criminals who have been gaoled in case it upsets the poor darlings. (diddums!)
Ex-cons must be called ‘prison leavers' or ‘persons with lived Xperience'.
[Which makes dead people ‘persons no longer with lived Xperience'? Ed.]
Current convicts are ‘residents' in prison resort hotels.
No doubt the bloke in charge of the gang is in line for an MBE [Moron of the Blob Establishment] followed by an OBE [Obstructer of the Blob Establishment]
[We were advised not to do the ‘C' of CBE on taste grounds. Ed.]
“Cue lotz of jokes about not having a copple of brain cells to rub together?” S.O. Sueme
 
Are we surprised to hear that Harridan Harperson, the Partygate stitch-up confecter, has been on nod & wink terms with Sugar Smarmergate Ray for ages?
Nope. S.O.P. for that mob.
 The wonk Metropolitan Polis farce. prop. M. Rowley, has renamed its anti-gun-crime Operation Viper unit because the name sounds too aggressive toward evil & dangerous criminals with weapons. It is now the Proactive Firearms Team. And we all know that any word starting with ‘pro' in the public sector signals a con job on the way.
[No doubt the term ‘con job' in the confidence trick sense will have to be cancelled in case it upsets convicts. Ed.]
 Q: M.A.B.?
A: Messing A-Bout. Something cats are notorious for.
Q: Does anyone really give a revolving rattenkrantz about the ITV minion Poisonous Pill, the notorious queue jumper?
A: Nope.
Q: How does Smarmer Labour try to deflect attention from the sex pests in its ranks?
A: With a ludicrous claim that Britain is failing to give any arms & ammo to Ukraine.
Q: What could be worse than a 'terribly brown' Shogbam Bimbo?
A: How about two of them!
The Bonk of England's head Wonk, A. Bailey, has failed to talk the UK into recession. His next offer is sky-hi inflation lasting forever.
 Is it a skive, or what?
Just 4.76% of the cacti of equivalent size to this one @ the Romiley Cactus Ranch are currently in flower.
Gorbal warmage is getting the blame at the moment, but no doubt a better Xcuse will be along in a minute.
Eurovision scam works a treat
Giving the Britisch entry to a ludicrous Corbynsteiner UK-hater ensured a 25th place finish and removed all possible danger of overshadowing Ukraine, the nominal host, which was 6th.
The boss of the snivel service is threatening a walk out if people don't stop noticing how idle, obstructive and generally useless his members are. As most of them are currently being allowed to Shirk @ Home, little difference in the look of Whitehall is Xpected.
“De guy is a diet soda caterpillar.” B. Verton
“He sez: 'Would I lie to you?' We say: 'When have you ever done anything else?'” Linus Height
 Putin the ‘hype’ into hyperbole
++ Hapless Hairy claims he was in 2-hour car chase in Noo Yawk ++ What was he smoking? ++ In-car shots show Muciloid Mhegan not wearing seat belt & not looking imperilled ++ Near catastrophic chase tale involving paparazzi total BS ++ BierBC & ITV face derision for failing to fact-check ++ Just bought BS! ++ BierBC clown thinks Dam Busters raid 80 years ago was ‘infamous' ++ No one ‘nearly killed' in Noo Yawk ++ Photos of chase still being confected in back room ++ Tests confirm sausage rolls non dunkable, shock horror ++ Bier Smarmer has a policy [only joking, Ed.] ++ Bier Smarmer is a twit [this is in fact true, Ed.] ++ Smarmer to allow Green Belt to be built upon & o'bliterated if made PM [true, Ed.] ++ Ludicrous left trying to replace Holocaust guilt with slavery guilt ++ Confecter Grauniadistas feel free to slander A. Widdecombe ‘coz she's a Tory ++ Smarmer tries to identify as intelligent ‘uman bean ++ Derision universal ++
 Well, why not?
Let Donald Trump on to US national TV, even if it's only to lark around and have a bit of a laff, and watch the Democraps Xplode with rage. ‘Coz they never have a laff on account of having zero sense of humour.
“If so, how do you Xplain making Creaky Joe their leader and next candidate for president?” 40 Chewed
[Group insanity? Ed.]
Reality Shift
R. Sharp, who was evicted from the job of BierBC chairman by a ludicrosity witch hunt, did no evil whilst in the job, an internal BierBC review has been forced to admit.
Natch, no apology for the slanders is on offer.
“What we have to ask ourselves is would we as a nation survive without the BierBC? And the answer has to be a resounding: ‘Sure, we would!' as there are lotz of alternatives. Someone needs to be put in charge of banging heads together to get this point through ludicrously thick skulls.” Denny Zen
 Something else bursting forth . . .
The meadow buttercups [picture right] are leaping up in vacant slots.
Bankruptcy beckons . . .
Universities which fail to get the staff to mark the course work needed to issue a degree certificate face having to repay up to £37,000 in tuition fees PLUS additional compenbloodysation for lost income during the time wasted @ the university and mental ‘elf damage.
White hatred okay?
A decline in intelligence in the population @ large has made a brewery rename a member of a hare-themed series of beers from White Face to Cheeky Jack.
No doubt those in search of offence will now start yelling jackism instead of rachelism.
 “How long before everything on the interweb has to be black text on a solid black background; or white on white; in the interests of levelling up and equality?” M.K.
Making Do or Clothears Rides Again
1. She said ‘bay leaves', he heard ‘Bailey's'. He shopped, she cooked the recipe without the herb and after they'd finished the bottle, they agreed it had been a great meal.
2. Quality Talibans? Quality caravans, Clothears!
 In Hapless Hairy's world, a story based on something he said in an on the record interview is a leak and worth a HUGE bundle of compenbloodysation cash from the newspaper that printed his ‘leak'!
Hapless Hairy's ghostwriter seems to have caught his customer's deluded outlook if he thinks the stuff he churns out is an essential public service. Gone spare too?
Q: Is it okay for Scottish coppers to taser an 11-year-old kid who's menacing them with a knife?
A: If they'd get the sack for laying hands on the brat, it's the only way, José
Q: Is there anything more socially divisive than multiculturalism?
A: Given the declared motive of the people behind it, namely destroying social cohesion, Nope!
Could happen and probably will
A fat Democrap councilman in Noo Yawk got a weight and height discrimination bill passed to protect his job? When are they going to protect the civil rights of muggers and other fringe elements to do their chosen thing, no matter how destructive to others?
“Looks like Noo Yawk City is in fierce competition with most of the cities in California for the Wack Job of the Western World title.” 40 Fication
 Schemocracy
The snivel service's senior members are busy crawling into Bier Smarmer's pocket and ramping up their efforts to sabotage Tory policies in the hope of more pay and lotz of gongs if Smarmer makes it to Downing St.
Meanwhile, BS is drawing up a '100 days plan' of rivers he can sell Britain down during his attempts to cram the UK back into the EFU if he gets to be PM BS.
[Sick transit for Gloria Mendacity. Ed.]
  A woman who makes a living out of flogging stuff to women who want to look stylish & comical reckons her customers should be paid more so they can afford more of her stuff.
“The outfit the woman is togged out in for her photo in the paper is a good reason for paying her customers lotz less!” M. Agonster
Putinstan's troops & hirelings do not flee battle zones like a disorderly rabble with their tails between their legs. They just adopt more favourable positions where no one is shooting at them.
Train drivers on £100K per year are striking for more. Maybe there should be a special tax introduced on excess payments.
[Making the distinction between payments & earnings? Deferably! Ed.]
 ++ Nigel Farage, the bloke who knows, blows gaff on Brexit ++ Britain's burrocraps as crap as Youropeon ones ++ Potential benefits from Brexit blown by Blob bunglers ++
Older drivers are being forced off the roads at night, dazzled by vehicles with LED bulbs in headlights which are not designed for them. Which leaves that bit more room to manoeuvre for crash-prone junior drivers.
Q: Baftas?
A: Big-Ass Femmes Take All Slots.
 An award for doing 1 hour per week of charity work? [What, every single week? Ed.] An award to give publicity to the outfit which coughed up the ‘award', more like.
Today’s Sadistic:
2.5 million too sick to work but not too sick to shirk!
Took them bloody long enuff
Some university lecturers, who should be mature & sensible adults, are starting to realize that 18-year-old students don't know nuffink about nuffink, and their attempts to cancel everything in sight are just their way of hiding their supreme iggorance.
An Xpert @ Oxford U. has realized that red wine with meat and not with fish isn't a Law of the Universe, it's just a marketing whim and champagne goes just as well with pilchards as with oysters. The colour of the food is no guide to whether it contains components which complement red or white wine.
 We are currently having to put up with Generation Entitled, who assume they can do no wrong.
 A Labour MP is demanding a 4-day week for the public sector [which funds her party via union subs, let us not forget, Ed.] ‘coz she'd rather be operated on by a well-rested doctor who's had a 3-day weekend.
But what if her operation is on Thursday and the doc is too busy thinking about his next 3 days off to concentrate on grinding & polishing her ego?
Silence.
Today’s Wisdom 
 Getting a grip
Germany's leader, Sergeant Schultz, has turned his back on the ‘hoover the world' policy of his commie predecessor, Angular Mherkel. Migrants will now be subject to checks of quality and where they are & what they are up to.
It's all very well for gorbal warmage spivs to claim that a house with an electric heat pump could be spending £10 per year on gas by 2035. But if the inmates have to set fire to the furniture to get warm when the temperature drops, it's hardly a giant leap forward.
 “It's rather curious that Boris Johnson is still being twitted by usual suspects for writing lists of reasons for Brexit and reasons for Bremain, and then making up his mind on the evidence before him.
“About all he can be accused of is not following the lawyerly political path of asking himself ‘what's best for me financially and favourwise?' And going with that line no matter how much death & destruction it causes.” R.E. Morse-Fulday
Who wants to be the boss of the BierBC now? D. Blunkett, who was sacked from a corrupt new labour government for abuse of office. Ludicrously apt.
“Guess what! Hapless Hairy & Bier Smarmer have something in common. When someone mentions their name, I switch my ears off.” Duncan Disorderly
Q: Is it okay for a bloke got up to look like a woman to claim to be a baron to get into the House of Frauds?
A: Apparently so.
 We're being invited to believe that 10% of the current generation of schoolkids want to change their gender. Just how daft do the transpicaters think we are?
[As a brush sounds about right. Ed.]
Schmistory
The dams in England, which 617 Squadron used for rehearsals of their historic dam-busting wartime raid on Germany, are under threat from the water company that operates them.
If the company gets its way, the Derwent and Howden dams will disappear under the waters of a new super-reservoir. Xcept when a drought Xposes them, of course.
Schminance
We are told that the NHS's problems will be solved by getting more doctors and having fewer managers. Which ignores the essential fact that doctors take time to train and any idiot can do diversity crap and come up with waste-of-time garbage.
Getting rid of the managers will free up some cash but the remaining burrocraps will just waste it.
Reality, but not as we know it, Jum
The sanity of theGroaner's scribblers is deeply in question if they think a multi-millionaire prime monster needs to be able to Xperience the joys of a costa living crisis as a job qualification.
This is something not Xperienced by overpaid Groanistas, or Smarmers, but don't tell anyone!
 Federal Bureau of Instigation caned
The attempt by the FBI to confect a conspiracy in 2016 between future US president D. Trump and Putinstan was a shambles, and that's official.
There was zero evidence to justify Operation WrapUp in 2019 by the special counsel R. Mueller and all the Feds did was rattle tittle-tattle uselessly.
After 4 years of digging into the Mueller mess, the next special counsel, J. Durham, has concluded that the 'investigation' done by the Feds was just a sloppy & failed 'Get Trump' job.
 Boycott the Budgie-Smuggling Bastards, say Femmes
Q: What's a good way to commit commercial suicide?
A: Get a bloke with an obvious bulge in the pants area to model female swimwear. Worked for Adidas.
“A Mheganic compulsion to be noticed, however bizarrely and irrespective of the collateral damage.” R.T. Fact
Snackstabber & Hunt doing a Gordon F. Broon
Freezing tax thresholds; blatantly or stealthily; has destroyed the purpose of the 40% income tax band, which was intended to affect only the rich or overpaid.
To correct this would require the threshold to be raised from the present £50K to £100K; i.e.. what train drivers get. But like that's gonna happen.
Sherie’s Back
“We all kno who's to blame for the UK's Eurovision disaster. ‘I wrote a song' was its name. With which should be coupled: ‘which was so crap that it came second last'. Go Woke, Be a Joke.” J. Cobmogg
“Will the prime monster return home glowing in the dark after attending a G7 meeting in Hiroshima?” Tye Mout
Smarmer, Hunt, etc. Xplained
“Is gorbal warmage affecting the thinking processes of politicians? Is that why so many of them are crap?” B. Ware
“Why all the BS about artificial intelligence. Why can't we concentrate on real intelligence instead of going for what's just an el cheapo substitute?” P. Anique
 President Cashmachineko of Byellerosarussia has joined the list of dicktaters who feel a constant need to tell everyone they are not dead.
Supermarkets are being outed as grabbing bastards with inflated fuel prices by the Competition & Markets Authority
 Esso petrol in Romiley 141.9p/litre
Esso diesel in Romiley 147.9p/litre
Everyone in London who doesn't back the cosmetic mayor's UseLEZ pollution scam against motorists will get lung cancer, claims Smarmer.
Today’s Quotation
De guy is a bloton, landscapewise.
Q: How do you get your train service noticed and take a dig at countries like ours which don't have one that works?
A: Play a bit of a speech by someone notorious like dead dicktater A. Hilter. Worked for Austrian Railways.
 Q: How can you tell that the luxury boat you're on is sinking?
A: Seeing fish swim past your cabin window is a dead giveaway.
Q: How do you know you're being swindled?
A: When your bank quotes your credit card interest rates to four; yes, 4!!; decimal places.
Q: What are the implications of 4 days' work for 5 days' pay in the public sector?
A: No increase in productivity, 25-30% more staff needed to do the work no longer being tackled by the 4-day skivers, and demands for a 3-day week with 5 days' pay.
++ Muciloid Mhegan frantically bolting more wheels on 2-hour ultra-dangerous vehicular crash fest fairy tale ++ Hoping to make up for some of wheels that have come off ++
“What were the cops doing her protection escort doing during the attempt in Noo Yawk to outdo the Princess Di death crash in Paris? Silence.” Sun Neespot
“The mayor of Noo Yawk looked like he was ready to buy the H&M fairy tale to serve an anti-Britisch agenda, but even he choked on the notion of a 2-hour chase on his city's over-crowded streets.” Dr. Acula
Putridstan is claiming that it has bashtalverized a bit more, an already battered to bitz part of Ukraine.
Desperate for a glorious Hairy & Mheganoid victory, or what!
 Surprise! Gooble is swindling the companies whose news it blags. Kicking back just 8½% of the revenues it gets to sources, say accusers.
Other search engines exist, e.g. StartPage.com, which doesn't spy on users.
Q: Is the lack of investment in the NHS damaging the economy?
A: You could tip every penny The Planet's economy raises into the Brown Hole of the NHS and our economy would be no better off.
 Negative mental nosh
Cultural Marxism in the education industry Blob is getting the blame for the teenage mental 'elf crisis. The constant undermining of Britain & our values is confusing the little dears as there is nothing positive & inspiring on offer.
“If the EdBlob is right and Britain really is a terrible place, does that mean all the migrants trying to cram in here are the world's misery-gutz & masochists?” Fahr Kinnel
Q: How do you mug gambling-fanatic mugs?
A: Get them into the 'one more go, phukit' mode.
 Is it news that multi-billionaire J.B. Zos of Amazon was on his superyacht? Not really. There's no point in owning a supery acht if you don't visit it occasionally, and maybe even sail about a bit on it.
Death by gobbling
A takeaway pizza can contain as much salt as 3½ bottles of olives and eating more than one per month will kill you stone dead, the Xperts reckon. Eventually.
The BierBC is claiming that Radio Four is 'modern' rather than woke. This is the alibi for losing 1.2 MILLION listeners-in over the last year.
“Are there enuff rivers in the UK for Smarmer to sell us down? Or is he going to have to use our money to buy time-share on Europeon rivers?” 2-10 Carmen
“He's likely to have to cough up zillions of our cash to the operaters of the Amazon and the mighty Ganges to meet his quota needs.” D.R. Ekkt
Today's Question:
How many more kids is President Boris going to have by the end of the decade?
[Answers on a PC to the usual address—better make it a big 'un! Ed.]
A calculation Xpert has found that o'bese customers cost the NHS £14 BILLION per year. This sum could be raised by a banded weight tax on those who are overweight, o'bese and HUGE. Something for the Chancellor to think about?
Scotia News
The Kirk of Scotland has been forced to acquire a new Moderator as the old one was going woke and letting things become decidedly immoderate.
 That heatwave the weather buffoons have been threatening us with for weeks & weeks & weeks won't be here this week either.
Q: Chronic Appetite Dysregulation?
A: The fatness industry thinks that o'besity is too simple a description and BIG people deserve a BIG gob-stretching name. Cue the dash for CADs.
Immensely qualified
A much-gaoled bloke [around 8 years' incarceration inconvenience self-confessed, Ed.] who used to confect BS for the late, lamented News of the Screws is now working for Hapless Hairy on the 'sue everyone in sight' team. The bloke reckons his days as a convincing faker are over.
Which makes him what now? An unconvincing faker?
“Was he the bloke behind the Noo Yawk never-happened car-carnage BS? That was totally unconvincing.” 7 Eleven
 ++ Hairy & Mucilod Mhegan fight off savage & massive alien invasion fleet from Planet Zarg ++ 12-hour battle with enormous destruction ++ The World can breathe again ++
Dosh & Disorder
The racket-busters are going after the ADHD merchants, who are just in search of achievement points. The ADHD industry is raking in zillions with its pills & potions & counselling after it was able to Xtend its reach from children to adults.
The fight is Xpected to be long & nasty with all the cash at stake and the enormous alibi potential associated with what could be an imaginary disorder.
There is no universally recognized test for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder & the cause remains unknown. Which makes treatment difficult and a cure impossible.
The Tate Gallery is failing to hit its target for Xhibits by transpicaters and it is in a frantic search for dead artists who won't object [or sue, Ed.] if labelled a transister or transbro.
A SplATS reading test for kids of 10/11 was based on a book for kids of 13-16. No wonder confidence in the exam trade is at an all-time low.
The crappiest police farce in the world is in Australia, where coppers who couldn't get out of the way of a 95-year-old woman in a care home claimed they had no option but to use a taser on her.
 Smarmer offering 4 demented changes for NHS. Or something.
Academics are recommending that mothers-to-be should stop breathing to prevent their child from being born with chemicals in the brain.
Millennial veganists have been Xposed as attention seekers, who are just waving virtue flags @ other people to try to shame them.
Children should be encouraged to use stilts, or at least wear platform boots, to lift themselves higher off the ground and above potentially harmful vehicle exhaust fumes
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Q: If you're a former French president and you've been convicted of corruption, is there any danger you'll end up in gaol?
A: What have you been smoking!
Q: Classified as a PG?
A: Put your Glasses on (or you might miss something.)
Q: Ow! Ow! Ow! What's that?
A: The sound of Bier Smarmer booting himself up the bum for not blagging the job of holding the sword @ King Chuck's coronating and getting all the kudos that went to the muscular P. Mordor instead.
Q: Did Putridstan launch unstoppable hypersonic missles @ Ukraine last week?
A: If they were shot to tiny bitz with anti-missle missles, no. But if they weren't, yes.
Tonight’s Film:
Meateorites (1998) Earth is bombarded with unsaleable burgers ejected from a bankrupt Martian eatery.
“Nice that the first lot landed on a holier than thou Yank who was busy thanking his lord for what he was about to receive!” B. Vertical
Our Defence Sec., B. Wallace, is talking up a world war before the end of the decade. What has he been smoking?
 Awash with trend dosh
Research has found that Millennials will pay stoopid prices for standard vegan nosh that photographs well.
Once they've got something for their auntie-social meeja page, they can take a couple of bites from the overpriced stuff then sneak off in search of something unworthy but more tasty.
Q: De-evolution advocates?
A: Those north of the border who are demanding that Scotland be given back to the dinosaurs.
 Must try harder
'Nurses are striking because patients are dying', as claimed by P. Cullen, honcho of the RCN trade union, has to be an Xample of total slogan ineptitude.
Nurses are striking for more dosh. End of.
And more patients are dying because they're not getting the care they need because the NHS can't be there for them.
In practice, it's a rather crude form of natural selection.
Q: What's the last thing you should do when you're accused of being a slag who messed about with ex-President Trump?
A: Confirm it for dosh.
 Today's Major Ishue:
Is Putinstan or China behind this obsession with A.I. in order to distract attention from the real threat to the future of the 'uman race, i.e. serious weapons in the hands of dicktaters?
Today's Other Ishue:
Which is not fit for purpose—the NHS or the unfit, o'bese & ancient customers?
“People of weight? Sheesh!” Al X. Ander
++ Smarmer to 'swim' English Channel by proxy as attention-getting bid? ++ O.J. Corbynstein to try same trick as comeback prelude? ++ Running for London's cosmetic mayor as his next trick? ++
“The thing you have to remember is that most Labour MPs are basically evil people or useless place-holders.” Al E. Gator
The appearance of getting tough
The Notional Crime Agency is going after the gangs of bent briefs who confect modern slavery fantasies for illegal immigrants.
The Solicitors Regulation Apology, which has lost the gig, was doing a wonderful job, nailing an average of 3-4 bad guys per year.
 BT has decided that it will be cheaper to get ChatBots to do its customer 'service' than to use 'uman beans located half-way across the world.
The SnackStabber PM is confident that the UK will lead the world in not having A.I. systems that work well enuff to be in charge of anything.
Things have come to a pretty pass when we have a former prime monster threatening to sue the snivel servants of the Cabinet Office for trying to get the police to confect criminal charges against him as part of a Get Boris agenda.
Q: Oftwat?
A: Office of Useless Twats is the full title of the 'regulator' for the water industry, which is honchoed by Strewth Kelly, a failed Labour MP. Oftwat thinks it is okay for the water industry to pay BILLIONs to shareholders & bosses and demand more BILLIONs from the customers for doing cosmetic repairs to its decades of infrastructure neglect whilst continuing to dump raw sewage into waterways & coastal waters.
“Strewth! Sounds like a candidate for the Spanish Inquisition and a spot of dangling from lamp posts alongside politicians and trade union leaders.” Shoss Iment
 Piles of Panic Potential
The most terrifying moments in the 12-hour Noo Yawk mega-crashfest, a survey has found, was when a giant ape climbed down from the Empire State Building and crossed the road against a DON'T WALK sign, causing traffic chaos for 3½ minutes.
 ++ Queen of Monsters triumphs ++ Mhegan & sidekick Hairy Horribilis vs Mothra was no contest ++ Muciloid victorious over Titan ++ Planet saved!! ++ But is any bugger grateful? ++
The M&H 18-hour car chase through Noo Yawk, we have been told, happened only because the hotel where it all began refused to let the drop-in chancers have a top-of-the-range suite as a freebie.
"How dare they refuse to indulge the entitled self-styled Queen of the Freebies!" was the Muciloid's reaction and orf she jolly well went to grab some more victimhood points.
 Q: What do you do if some stooge who's picked your name out of a phone book rings up claiming to be from MicroSoft?
A: When he goes into his spiel about your computer doing something or other, ask him which version of MicroSoft he's talking about as you have several computers running different ones.
Phone down at his end, orf to try to swindle someone else.
 The NHS is trying to match its statistics for sexual assaults by staff on customers with those of vice versas in the interests of equality & diversity.
Going for gold
NHS GPs are demanding the right to charge customers for private appointments in their abundant free time if they can charge £550 per hour for them.
Dentists dropping NHS services to expand a private practice are being offered as a precedent.
++ Scruffy yob busted for crashing car into Downing Street gates ++ Nation staggered to learn Met police actually busted looney instead of awarding him cuppa char and burgher ++
 If the Snackstabber needs someone to tell him what's ethical, he's in the wrong job, sez Little John of the Daily Disaster, who is right, as usual.
Esso petrol in Romiley 139.9p/litre
Esso diesel in Romiley 145.9p/litre— A WW II dates anagram!
 Confect the Noos, no bugger cares
The BierBC is whitewashing itself after its unbalanced coverage of the boat people invasion ishue got too blatant.
Latest policy from the patron, Bier Smarmer—admit more migrants if they agree to vote Labour in all elections.
“Are we really Xpected to believe that Smarmer, with his hand in the taxpayer's pocket up to the shoulder, knows what struggling to make ends meet is all about and can relate to poor people? Just how gullible does he think we are? Or is he just too intellectually lazy to care?” M. Achoo
 Big step up
Current Defence Sec. B. Wallace, who is trying to talk up a world war by the end of the decade, is lobbying to make his self-appointed task easier by becoming the honcho of NATO.
The job of Secretary of that organization would involve a significant promotion for a mere MP with a constituency which is about to vanish. It would make his job title 'the NATO Secretary, General B. Wallace'.
Nice work if you can get it.
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 Q: What is the A.I. threat to education?
A: Allowing children to use A.I.s to tackle essay writing, maths and everything else creates adults with a façade of education, who are unable to do anything much if reduced to relying on their own devices.
[In the non-electronic device sense, Ed.]
 Woman up, Nadine!
If the sometime candidate for our local parliamentary constituency of Hazel Grove, N. Dorries, had no pity for scrofulous Scoff, why did she feel a need to say sorry for expressing this view?
  The Tories have been in charge for longer than corrupt bliar labour. Are things wonderful?
Thanks to having to be in coalition with the Trivials for a while, plus the added burden of the deadleg drag of the anti-Britisch snivel service Blob, no, not all that wonderful.
We also had a Chinese plague doing the wrecking job formerly held by Gordon F. Broon.
Xcellent point from Platell's People in the Daily Disaster – if 10% of snoflake kids don't know if they're a boy or a girl, how can 16-year-olds Xpect to be able to tell the difference between the Tories & Smarmer Labour?
Hapless Hairy & his boss to be sued by 14.2 million people who claim they have been traumatized by having to listen to the details of the entitled pair's 2-day cartastrophe in Noo Yawk.
Life’s Tragedies:
I was told I had inherited a Healey sports car. Sadly, instead of a Jensen-Healey, it turned out to be a Denis Healey.
[Bungling Chancellor of Harold Bloody Wilson era. Ed.]
Q: Imoota?
A: A reference to the late Scottish actor Mark McManus. Im oota Taggart.
The ‘not me, guv’ attitude in play
 Xperts in Israel have concluded that o'besity in the elderly is a lifestyle choice, not a disease. They know they're gobblers and they ain't gonna stop.
The young, in contrast, blame being the size of a house on the ease with which they can use a pocket phone to dial up a takeaway rather than a lack of personal discipline & Xercise.
[Definitely another reason for giving them the vote! Ed.]
Despite the best attempts of the Labour party and the public sector Blob to talk it up, inflation has fallen below 10%.
Amnesty International has knocked a bit more polished off an already badly tarnished image by handing a cosmetic ‘award' to the gobnarzi.
  Labour plotting universal UseLEZ areas
If Smarmer & his crew win a general election, this will be just one of their multiple acts of revenge on a population which kept them out of the plum jobs, public sector glad-handing and fiddle opportunities for a decade and a half.
Natch, our local cosmetic mayor, Jonah Burnham, is gagging to wreck Manchester for motorists with UseLEZness.
 The BIGGER bigot
The of colour version of apartheid now on offer in the theatre industry is to declare that nobody is Xcluded from a show about luminous of colour victimhood but anyone with a white face will not be made welcome.
[Wot about white people who turn up wearing B&W Minstrel face paint? And wearing gloves, of course. Ed.]
Today’s Wisdom:
Iggorance is the root of fortune for a gobnarzi, but
Symmetry is the antidote to greedy self-interest.
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When it comes to boring, weak & untrustworthy, Bier Smarmer is well out in front of every other political leader.
Probably incapable of doing a worser job, is the opinion of most focus groups.
Inflation has wiped out most of the demand for overpriced vegan substitutes for real foodstuffs. Only real mugs are going for it now.
More from the Fiction Factory
The sex education industry is claiming that every child is ‘given' a gender when he/she is born. Which suggests it's just something as optional as a christening mug and with as many associated design choices, which is BS.
[But what else do you Xpect from a sub-set of Those People? Ed.]
 Not a Given
The vehicle industry is warning posturing politicians that a lack of electric vehicles; mainly due to battery shortages and a lack of rapid charging points in public places; will turn a ban on sales of petrol-fuelled cars in 2030 into a catastrophe.
But will the dickheads listen? Not something they're noted for.
Are the Chinese behind the woke virus which has affected so many of the country's ludicrosities? They are certainly diabolical enuff to try something like that.
Let us be clear: there isn't a secret plot against President Boris. If the Cabinet Office is stirring up trouble for him, it's not a secret conspiracy, it's just bollocks from usual suspect snivellers.
“What the prime monster needs to do as a matter of urgency is to set up a snitch hunt to rid the snivel service of the vindictive & useless buggers, who confect spurious complaints against Tories. Johnson, Raab, Braverperson, etc., etc.
“Only when they are history will we have a civil service worthy of some respect. After it has been earned, of course, because the respect tin is currently empty.” Brandis Napp
“And a wet month in the stocks for every sniveller who makes a vexatious complaint?” Per Vermicelli
Travellers took to social meeja to bitch about the failure of the Border Farce passport e-gate system @ airports on the last Friday/Saturday of the month—and achieved bugger all.
Why was the idiot who drove a car into the Downing Street gates arrested on suspicion of causing criminal damage when he did in front of a whole gang of witnesses and him doing it was all over the TV news for ages afterwards?
Why are the police now ignoring this crime? What Xactly is the Met for that's any use?
Mount Sherie Erupts Again!
“What we need are 3 categories of toilet facilities—XX, XY and Whatever. And anyone who is found to be abusing either of the first two categories gets 12 months in gaol with zero hope of remission.” K Arman
“Maybe we need to make being a vexatious transpicator a criminal offence. Then they'd really have something to whinge about!” Yoven Earp
“Is there really anything surprising about people preferring pictures of Princess Kate in a posh frock to pix of King Chuck? Only a meeja idiot would think so.” Wher Jagoin
“What use is an energy price cap quoted as so much per year if it doesn't last for 12 months?” Stunner O'Bummer
Finally, one of Smarmer's stooges, S. Rodhouse, late of the Metropolitan Police, is to face misconduct charges over Operation Midland, the VIP child abuse & murder fantasy and the shameless attempt to frame senior Tory politicians.
Tankerloads of whitewash are being lined up. Smarmer has his name on at least 2 of the biggest.
The usual stitch-up by Those People?
Rodhouse, now a boss @ the Notional Crime Agency, is Xpected to be found guilty of some trivial charge and told not to do it again.
What does he have in common with Bier Smarmer? He's another of the crew who kept J. Savile, notorious paedophile, out of gaol.
Q: What has the snivel service got against Mrs. Braverperson?
A: She Xpects them to do things occasionally to justify their overpay.
Today’s Question:
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 Fair Comment is Fair Exchange
The BMA trade union has described the government's pay offer of 5% plus a one-off bonus—which was accepted by other unions—as not credible.
A government spokes responded:
"They were obviously taking the piss with their demand for 35% more across the board. They're lucky we didn't repay the compliment with an offer of 0.35%."
If the Equality & ‘Uman Rights Commission has become a nest of vindictive transpicaters, the Public Sector Cleansing Department needs to be put on the job pronto.
Not even as useful as old rope
Something that apparently isn't a piss-take is that people who have fallen for the rewilding scam are paying good money for dandelions; 32 quid for a tray of 25, if you can get it.
A survey of our contributors revealed that all of them press the destruct button when they see a dandelion in their garden and the buttercup, big & small, is the yellow wildflower of choice.
[The Chelsea Flower Show installation of rubble with dandelions has to have been an actual piss-take; one which was showered with derision by the Xperts. Ed.]
 Dum-dum, dum-dum, DUM-DUM!
The people in charge of Scottish salmon rivers are having to defend them against an invasion of inferior Russian hump-back pink salmon.
An A.I. system is currently used by Norway as part of its defence strategy against contamination of Atlantic salmon stocks. They're going to have to think of something else when A.I.s are banned!
Loot, Loot, Loot, Loot!
Bier Smarmer reckons a Labour government will abolishing NHS waiting lists—turn up, get done on the spot will be the rule. Plus:
a named GP at the beck & call of every customer 24/7
an end to deaths from heart disease & cancer within weeks, and
double their pay & half the working hours for all NHS staff
[How much will all this wonderful stuff cost and where will the money come from, Mr. Bier? Silence. Ed.]
“Sounds like the men in white coats and the yellow van from the looney bin are going to be fully occupied in the run up to the next general election.” X. Plain
Infinite sky-pie
Something else a Labour government will do is stop the decline in the numbers of members of the Britisch armed forces but there will be no attempt to build them up again to avoid giving offence to our Enemies in the East.
 Something no one told that bloke ITV sacked, or
It's all very well to Scoff:
Be nice to people on the way up and at the top, and they might do the same when you're on the way down.
Toughness needed
The Law Commish is talking about eliminating a jury from rape case trials to increase the conviction rate and prevent lawyers from bamboozling a jury with myths & misconceptions.
Only people who have been briefed fully on the reactions of people under Xtreme stress will be allowed to pass judgement.
  FakeBuk has been fined a billion quid by the government of Southern Ireland for mishandling users' info? BFD. A mere drop in the ocean.
What did they Xpect after giving a cosmetic job to failed Britisch Trivial politician Calamity Clegg?
A man with a usefulness rating similar to that of Greater Manchester's cosmetic mayor, Jonah Burnham.
Good fortune and a rockless road?
Q: What do you get if you crash a car into the Downing Street gates?
A: Done as a paedo thanks to a bootful of kiddie-porn!
International Moronic Fabricaters?
The honco of the IMF is claiming that the Global Economic Enviromint is highly uncertain and full of structural challenges.
Translation: any of its 'forecasts', like the ones from our own, dear Bonk of England, are just guesses and invariably bad ones.
“Bier Smarmer and his roustabout Chancellor wannabe R. Reeves, are looking particularly glum as their ludicrous self-appointed task of talking Britain down gets harder.” Ser Ghonde
“And Reeves is rocking the boat because she's against Labour's plan to hoover the world for the scum of the Earth in search of a voting majority.” K. Arandash
Reeves is a big fan of the Gordon F. Broon national impoverishment scam involving tax & splurge and borrow & splurge.
Useless is as useless does
The outgoing (in August) head of Police Scotland has been bragging that he has created an institutionally rachelist & woke & PC organization. Where do they get these deadlegs?
 ++ Gobnarzi takes meaningless 'award' as endorsement of his 'uman bloody right to voice stoopid views ++ Has been diagnosed with an enduring stroppy teenage mentality ++ Perfect fit for current state of BierBC ++
 More Xcitement than you can shake a stick at?
Noo Yawk is to turn the H&M Death Race into an annual event of some sort.
The BIG debate at the moment is whether to make next May's jamboree just a recreation, or whether to make it a competitive TV spectacular with BIG prizes.
 Another national security flop
The latest Chinese threat is based on the revelation that they are hoovering up Western DNA data via el cheapo maternity tests with a view to tailoring future global plagues more closely to Europeans & Americans.
The Methodist Church is the latest organization to be done over with allegations of misogynistic & toxic attitudes.
 Go Smarmer, Go Broke
Labour's plan to tax non-doms into leaving the country will put an £8 BILLION Brown Hole in the Smarmer's accounts. No suggestions as to how the hole will be filled in on offer, of course, 'coz the smarmy one ain't that hot on the money ishues.
“Just at grabbing it off other people.” Joedan Yells
Putrid the Poisoner has terminated a deputy science minister who dared to oppose his attack on Ukraine. P. Kucherenko was awarded a fatal heart attack on a flight to Moscovicious.
KG used to B? Same psycho stooges in the FSB, slightly different name.
 Today's Philosophy:
It's difficult to see much difference between the 20th century communists & Nazis and the 21st century wokists.
If anything, the wokists are worse.
The 20th century bastards killed their victims. The 21st century bastards prefer to leave their victims alive and cancelled so that they suffer longer.
And the level of hippocrisy is that much higher.
Putin the snivel service on 4 days' work for 5 days' pay
will cost the taxpayer
£30,000,000,000!!!!!
Rugby football is Xpected to become Xtinct in Europe by 2040 because some players end up with serious & untreatable concussion ishues.
 Fifty-fifty
Today is supposed to be cloudy but warm, according to Monday's weather guesses for the days ahead. Well, it's cloudy, so they got it half right.
More From Sherie . . .
“The Welsh NHS, run by Labour in a shambles, relies on sending customers to England. Where will a Smarmer Labour-run NHS shambles in England send the customers? We should be told.” Bolo Kintime
“What we have is a bunch of scammers pretending they can predict the direction and rate of climatic change and direct it. They belong in gaol, not on a gravy train.” Hend Rikk
“Of course, the main thing the ludicrosities hate about President Boris is that he has made 5 million quid since being snackstabbed out of office and they haven't got a hope of making 5p in Xternal income if they have to do it honestly.” D. Ambuster
“Five million quid? That's probably half what the legal trade is screwing out of the taxpayer for the pantomime 'inquiry' and the Get Boris stitch-up campaign.” L. Ifesupport
“Sack every last Blobist stooge in the Cabinet Office? Not until after the miserable git Bremoaner buggers have all been done for wasting police time. Fine + gaol.” Ak Qavint
 Legal fantasy football
What evidence does the Law Commission have that the conviction rate for rape cases isn't about right?
If this evidence Xists, why is it not on offer to those paying their salaries?
If the Law Commish is allowed to set target levels for convictions for one crime, how soon before it's demanding to do the same for all crimes as a prelude to fiddling the figures to make itself look good?
Do we really have to put up with concepts of justice that are based on myths & misleading stats spread by the likes of the Balls-Cooper woman?
 The People’s Choice
The Xperts are still declaring the SNP to be the voter's choice north of the border—the majority party, at least—and the Scots are stuck with Humbug Useless for the immediate future.
It is abundantly clear that what the Scots want is 100% authentic Scottish uselessness, not the English stuff recycled by Bier Smarmer and his Corbynstein rump.
The confecters at it again
"The Female sex has a double X, if there's a Y, it's a Guy."
What's complicated about that?
Nothing, which is why the transpicaters are having to bust every gut available to invent complications.
Sensible alternative required
A 10-minute stop for 300 miles of fuel for a proper car versus 35 minutes for a 100-mile top-up for an electric job. How is that progress?
“It's a plot to get people on electric trains for long journeys and put back at the mercy of the grabbing bastards in the rail unions.” G. Orbich
A Sherie Special
“With all these investigations going on of totally trivial confections; Partygate, Speeding-Finegate, Bullyinggate, ect., ect.; you can understand why lawyers will be dangling from lamp posts with politicians & trade union leaders come the revolution.” Lee Hang Samich
“Maybe there should be anonymity only for genuine whistle-blowers and all the vexatious bastards who make trivial complaints should be named & shamed on the company or another applicable website by law.” O.V. Rashgan
Rattenkranz Month-End RoundUp
++ Moscovicious attacked by 400 drones ++ None got through ++ No structural damage ++ No one dead ++
++ Xposed! ++ Role of Harridan Harperson leaky crony in Downing Street snivel service ++ His part in President Boris stitch-up ++
++ Smarmer pretending to be against eco-louts but keen to take millions from green energy Xploiters who bankroll louts ++
 Below the line mission statement: Some of the above is true. BFN is recognized as a premiere class observational blog and a multiple winner of the OB of the Year award.
We are constantly exposed to dodgy conclusions drawn from dodgy data by the 'experts', especially those found in the world of politics and especially those at the Treasury and in opposition and running trade unions. Some of us civilians at BFN like to join in to let them know that anyone can do it and we ain't impressed by their efforts.
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top | Created for Romiley Anarchists' League by workers in revolt against oppression to set the record straight in the 3rd millennium.
© RAL, May MM23 like anyone cares. |
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The Homage of the People chant on Saturday is voluntary not compulsory, as the ludicrosities would have us believe.
A majority of his subjects thinks that King Chuck has no need to apologize to all the scrounger countries for our nation's role in civilizing the rest of the world.
The town clerk of the South Cambridgeshire council (Trivial) introduced a 4-day week for the minions with the connivance of the council leader so that she could write a Ph.D. thesis about it.
A slave trade confecter is trying to haul Man. City & Man. Utd. FCs into the reparations fantasies with a claim that sailing ships like the ones on the club badges might, cudda maybe have been used for hauling slaves around.
