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  A monkey’s dozen of binz
Some local councils are talking about imposing up to 9 different waste/recycling bins on their customers. Presumably, the ones with shares in bin manufacturers. Wot effect will doing all the collecting have on polluting the local enviromint with unnecessary vehicle emissions and killing The Planet? Silence.
Whatever happened to the concept of Refuse Reclamation Centres that can handle unsorted waste efficiently & effectively? Something which a Romiley Literary Circle author used in a novel getting on for 50 years ago!
  William Hill as was (current prop. 888 gambling) has been fined £19,200,000 for failing to stop idiots from throwing vast amounts of dosh into its coffers.
Just what we need—IRA nutters causing more trouble & death in Northern Ireland.
 British Gas Homecare is to be terminated under the Trades Descriptions Act as there is more than abundant evidence that ‘care' is the last thing on offer.
The nation's police farces have been banned from selectively concealing the names of people charged with a criminal offence.
The only claim to fame of one of the hissy legal bunch who aren't going to prosecute ecovandals is that he once battered a fox to death with a baseball bat and wasn't prostituted for animal cruelty.
 Bets are being taken on how long the self-confessed rachelist Humbug Useless will last as First Meenister in Scotland before he crashes through thin ice, as Wee Sterney Burgeon did.
Albanian people-smugglers are buying up hotels that are likely to be used for housing bogus asylum seekers from Albania.
Sirk Reepy Smarmer has been battered off his fence and forced to deny his support to the wonk lawyers who want ecovandals to have a free ride.
One helping of Japanese fast food can contain 150% or 200% of the recommended maximum daily salt intake for humans, the Xperts reckon. All of the dishes are marketed as being amazingly healthy, of course.
  In 2003, Kreepy Smarmer described tony b. liar's attack on Iraq as unlawful. Something he would rather not be reminded of when he's smarming up to mr. liar.
 ‘Stop Electing Idiots' is the fave slogan of the people who are putting boxes & bags on surveillance cameras in London to frustrate attempts by the cosmetic mayor, Sadgeek K'han't (Labour), to steal from motorists with his air quality scam.
 The latest political scam is to tell a motormouth Labour MP that some Tory has been caught in a sting offering work from a bogus company at an Xtortionate rate of pay to get a hippocritical condemnation from someone with the morals of a Putin.
 Let the Mob carry Le Can
 The French government has a cute solution to what to do with all the piles of rubbish, which build up as unsightly, stinky mountains in cities when the stroppy dustpersons go on strike.
Sending arsonist rioters round to deal with them allows the rioters to cop for the blame attached to all the pollution caused.
The rioters include trainee-scroungers who are still at school and not yet a significant burden on the handful of French taxpayers. At primary school, in some cases!
Do the riots in France echo their revolution at the end of the 18th century? If the pictures of both events show a mob surging round the same buildings, they just confirm that one mob of yobs always looks very much like any other.
There's something rather apt about The Donald holding his first come-back rally of the season in Waco, Texas, the sometime home of some of the most notorious wackos on record.
  Who’s been a bunch of busy bees?
Prethetica, the gang of animal rights wonks, wants to ban all sports terms that include animal references to avoid offence to non-human creatures. No more bull's eyes in dart, worm burners in golf, hot dogs in tennis, etc. Even relatively obscure terms such as pigeon pooper are on their cancellation list. Bugging in all senses is also out.
Next up, a ban on foodstuff references, such as nutmeg; used in football; and everything else providing offence to a fertile imagination parked in an idle mind?
 “No more aces in tennis as that refers to playing cards, which are used in gambling to impoverish mugs. No more bogies in golf as that contemptibilizes the nasally challenged.” O. Jourdwee
  We are being invited to accept that the people running Britisch defence companies are idiots who don't think employing Chinese spies is a Bad Idea.
This is not something the spies can get away with in the Untied States as it is against the legal law, hence the rush to get in somewhere here.
“Given the general standard of firms with a hand in the taxpayer's pocket, that comes as no surprise.” Palin D. Rome
  The Office for Budgie Responsibility is planning to make the customers wait 5 years before they can restore their spending to pre-Chinese plague levels. This plot is in the hands of wailing Bremoaners and has the full support of the BierBC.
 Gorbal Warmage Fraud Food Disaster
 Farmers in Holland & Belgium are staging a revolt against estupido government wonks, who want to put an end to farming on bogus planet-saving grounds and make the customers eat insects—boiled or fried, according to their religious preferences.
“I can just see the Belgiques standing for chips & mayo made from bugs!” M. Stron
 National hissy fit looms?
If it's true that ‘the people' will not forgive the Tories for the costa living crisis, what will they do? Replace the Tories with Labour, which has a history of making things worse?
That would be Masochists Unanimous on steroids!
More hissiness
“Some Tory MP is alleged to have said when Boris did a ‘hand on heart' statement in the Harperson kangaroo court, he had both hands flat on the table. The whinger deserves a week of custard pies in the mush, a month of wet weekends in the stocks and NO Xpenses until his/her/its disgrace is purged.” Ser Vility
  More uselessness—Humbug Useless, the latest 1st Meenister in Scotland, hasn't heard that Ukraine is being attacked by Putinstan and has been in a state of war for over a year. HUTAgonian, or what!
 Q: Is Humbug Useless as shallow as a spring puddle?
 A: Not if the Met Office is right about the downpours we're about to have!
 Boycott Candidate:
Harper-Collins for mutilating the works of Agatha Christie.
  Consistency not necessarily a virtue
Wee Sterny Burgeon has been described as an effective party politician (context: the SNP) but NBG @ governing. Her successor is NBG @ everything.
Humbug Useless was responsible for the double ferry disaster and its monster cost over-run, he's a bogus hate crime confecter and he was particularly useless in charge of the Scottish NHS.
The NHS chiefs operating in England are working on a staff shortage of 570,000 bodies by 2036.
National Heritage Status is being used to frustrate plans to dump bogus asylum seekers @ iconic historical locations, such as the former home of the RAF's 617 ‘Dambusters' Squadron.
Ludicrous left councils are frustrating plans for street parties to mark King Chuck's coronation because that's the sort of mizrabul gitz they are.
 New Wonk Perversions
Mario Puzo's novel about a Mafia family is to be cancelled as his title The Godfather includes the banned word ‘fat' and ‘father' Xcludes females.
"Laughing all the way to the bank" has been cancelled as branch offices are now impossible to find.
“We don't really need transister actors ‘coz there are lotz of femmes who can do women perfectly, being one. Same with transbros. Lotz & lotz of blokes.” Ura Nasso
 Civil war in Israel postponed
The prime monster, B. Net&yahoo, has been forced to delay imposing his plans to put a head-lock on the judiciary, which would have had the spin-off of helping corrupt politicians and fraudsters to get away with it.
Part of the price for the agreement of his Xtremist religious party allies is the creation of a new police department along the lines of the Iranian Revolutionary Guards, which will be under the control of the Xtremists.
 Labour market ishues sorted
The development of A.I. systems will make 300,000,000 human jobs vanish, we are assured. The good news is that most of the targets will be lawyers & pen-pushing burrocraps.
The better news is that humans will be redirected to productive work and grow the global GDP by 7% over a decade.
  Spot On
Apparently, Angelica Robot, Sir Smarmer's unloved deputy, was told at the age of 16 that she would never amount to anything.
"How true those words are, even today".
 If an 11th rise in interest rates is evidence that the previous 10 didn't work, as a self-appointed financial Xpert has pointed out, then there will have to be a 12th rise if this current one doesn't work out. Stands to reason.
“The useless clowns on TV, we are told, pronounce ‘our' as ‘are'. Does that make them a bunch of oursoles?” Klep Toegark
A Smarmer Promise:
He'll freeze Council Tax for a year. But not if he wins a general election and becomes the prime monster.
Illegal entrants to the UK are taking £3.5 BILLION out of the foreign aid budget and putting it into the Britisch economy; £2.2 BILLION of it is going to the hotel industry.
“Of course, you know what will happen if the government commissions a whole gang of mini-nuclear power stations—at vast Xpense—to cut the cost of electricity. The nuclear fuel for them will suddenly become unaffordable.” S. Eeghile
 Today’s Stupendous Stat:
Firepersons all over Englandland spend 27 times more of their day bullying and being nasty than they do tackling fires.
 Deferably not on our side
Ofwat, the alleged regulator, is on-side with water companies using creative billing to swindle customers as an alternative to fixing leaks and ensuring a sufficient supply is maintained.
[Attention the typo-spotters who thought it should be 'Oftwat'—there are a hell of a lot of you! Ed.]
Q: Why is the Royal Mail collapsing.
A: Losing a million quid a day might have something to do with it. Also being privatized by the then Trivial leader, V. Cable. But mainly because the company's trade union doesn't believe that its members should do a fair day's work for less than a week's pay.
  Back to Square One!
What exactly will theGrauniad spend its £10M of slavery virtue-flagging dosh on? Moving the descendants of slaves back to Africa, building them a mud hut and leaving them to get on with it no phone and internet service, and no other modern conveniences seems appropriate.
“If the Groaner's trust has over a billion quid, ten mil looks positively paltry compared with the hundred mil the Church of England is tossing at its pointless conscience caper.” Pri Krasny
“Is theGuardian going to give any of its millions of pounds of guilt cash to the descendants of people who were exploited when working in Lancashire's cotton mills when they were processing cotton grown by slaves. Or are they not black enough to score woke virtue points?” Vin Tijvolt
Q: What's a good way to upset the Bremoaners of the BierBC, the Labour party, theGrauniad and other ludicrous lefties?
A: Taking the UK into the Trans-Pacific Partnership free trade group and joining 11 major American, Pacific & Asian countries in preference to the EFU.
Q: Is this Partnership just for transisters, transbros and their transporter apologists?
A: No, it's for normal people as well.
 A generation of political assassins
Our SnackStabber PM did it to President Boris to get his job. Sirk Reepy Smarmer is doing it to his former best buddy and the guy he tried to sell as the most suitable bloke in the world to be our prime monster; O.J. Corbynstein; to get the SnackStabber's job.
Is there anything more poisonous than a politician and a more poisonous combination than a lawyer turned politician?
Q: Why do they call it Heinz criminal (rather than cream of) tomato soup?
A: Because the price has been greedflated by 74% in the year to January.
 
 Upset citizens of Rochdale are fighting back against attempts by the looney local council to prevent free movement of traffic—especially of emergency vehicles—by igniting the planters dumped in roadways as obstructions.
98% of car-stealing criminals get away with it. The police have lost interest in this anti-social practice. As they have with burgalry.
The ferries that the SNP government in Burneystan is failing to provide cannot be used for storing illegal entrants to the UK until the painted-on windows have been replaced by real ones.
Is porn person S. Daniels really advocating violence & death over his persecution of Pres. Trump by the jumped-up Noo Yawk DA?
The attempt by the cricketing authorities to sleaze former England captain turned pundit M. Vaughan with confected rachelism has ended in epic failure and served only to Xpose the rachelism of his main accuser and the contempt for due process shown by the cricket bods and the BierBC.
It were ’im!
The Gov. of the Bonk of England is out of Xcuses for inflation. Blaming everyone else hasn't worked and the Xperts are lining up to point fingers at him as the real cause.
 Goofing in the direction of off
The civil servants of the Education Dept. are trying to set a new record for foot-dragging. It is four years and counting since they were told to get the job done and there is still no advice for schools telling them how to deal with kids playing gender games.
 “What we've got is adult attention-seekers bamboozling kids into joining in their game. Result: a generation of kids who kno nuffunk 'coz when they weren't bunking off, they were playing silly games instead of doing schoolwork.” Wah Shinup
“Teachers too dim to spot what's going on or too scared of being labelled unwoke to do anything. Both go to the same destination.” Fee Ni
 Rat’s RoundUp
Transporters, who lift & carry for the trans mob but are not practising members of it, are working hard to become Misogynists R Us. As well as Entitlement R Us.
President Creaky Joe has been judged to be too pretend-Irish to be permitted to attend King Chuck's coronation.
Any penalty confected for President Trump by the Democraps in Noo Yawk can be no more than one-eighth of what Slick Willy Clinton got** for the same ‘offence' under Federal political equemtocy laws.
[**Zilch, in case anyone was wondering Ed.]
Sirk Reepy Smarmer has been mightily upset by the Tories turning rivers into open sewers and not letting him have a chance to do it.
 Radical Policy Change:
All migrants will be allowed into the UK.
Enuff members of the ludicrous left to make room for them will be deported at the time of entry of new citizens.
Those who raised vexatious objections to this policy will not be allowed to take anything out of the UK when they are deported, and
The totality of their abandoned assets will become the property of the Britisch nation.
Advertisement
Coming soon to Channel Four?
DRAGULA Steps It Up
Anything goes in the battle to preserve the transister vampire private eye's sinister secret! All the Season 2 action coming your way? |
 Q: What sort of an idiot doesn't know it's a bad idea to bang your really expensive watch against a solid table?
A: An idiot who's the president of France.
Q: Is it true that only 40 countries operate under the rule of law?
A: Make that 4 and you're closer to the mark.
 Q: Is Nasty Pelosi (184) senile if she thinks she's entitled to ignore the presumption of innocence about President Trump?
A: She's just a routine Democrap out of the same ludicrous left dustbin as Harridan Harperson and her kangaroo courtiers.
The wonk barristers, who are on the side of ecoyobs, could be struck off for breach of their code of conduct, we are told. But will they be?
Joke. We are talking about the legal trade, which considers ethics & morals are just for the little people.
  Thought the UN was just a sick joke and a total waste of time and your money? In that case, it will comes as no surprise to learn that Putinstan is being allowed to be in charge of the joke Security Council for April Fool month.
If you look at the yobs running riot in France, you realize they're 30 or 40 years away from pension age. Which means they're just rioting because they're scum and that's what scum do.
 Is A.I. actually artificial intelligence? Or just an artificial appearance of intelligence if the machine has no consciousness and awareness of what it is doing? Discuss.
Distractions R Us
Millions of people are victims of climate chaos, claims Greenpeace (which is making money out of this bollocks), whilst a tiny minority are burning jet fuel like there's no tomorrow (in their private jets).
Such a tiny minority, in fact, that their activities have an insignificant effect on the world's climate. But that's too much truth for agitators to handle.
A surrogate mother who carried a celeb's baby to term complained she was treated like an employee. But what else was she but a hired body?
The government is trying to kill people
A gas Xplosion can take out several adjacent houses. A good hydrogen Xplosion will take out whole streets.
Which makes the plan to blow billions of pounds of taxpayers' dosh on turning houses with a hydrogen boiler and/or cooker into insulated, air-tight boxes totally lunatic.
They need to be draughty as hell to prevent a hydrogen leak from forming an Xplosive mixture with air. But admitting that is politically inconvenient and if a few dozen customers are written off, tough. There are lotz more where they came from.
Q: What do you get if you're a blogger plugging Putrid the Poisoner?
A: Blown up in a café in St. Petersburg to encourage the others to be more Goebbels.
  Slogans R Us(eless)
Scotland's new 1st Meenister has shown why he's called Useless by sidelining Transport—fixing roads, ferries, etc.—in favour of cosmetic posturing in the Net Zero direction. Vain greenwash garbage rather than economic growth and prosperity is all Humbug has to offer.
 SNAFU
Scotland's Deposit Return Scam for used bottles is a shambles. [an SNP shambles? Surprise!! Ed.] and lotz of infrastructure won't be in place by August 16th, when it is due to start.
If you find your fave beer is wearing a 'Not For Sale in Scotland' banner, it's because the manufacturer has decided that the Xtra Xpense of jumping through the hoops in Scitland isn't worth all the hassle.
Age Scotland reckons that the SNP is ignoring impoverished pensioners as a matter of deliberate policy. Presumably, 'coz they have too much dignity to pretend to be mental elves and be fashionable.
 All the climate change clowns in the UK need to be locked up and deprived of their subsidies until they can grasp the simple truth that they can't change the climate if they have no means of controlling it.
 Fair’s Fair or Justice Schmustice
If The Donald can be prosecuted for influencing an election result by burying damaging stories, then his opponents belong in the dock beside him for publishing damaging stories to influence the election result.
Nutters seem to be curiously abundant in the Untied States. Probably something to do with gorbal warmage.
 ++ England penalty pooper H. Kane breaks eyelash in precious moment during Spurs v Everton match ++
Are the IRA really going to blow up Belfast just to show they can when Creaky Joe is there and pretending to be totally Irish?
Them Frogs are still arson about across the way. It will be interesting to see what they'll do when they've burnt everything to the ground.
 Time of change
French vineyards are having to switch to olives and walnuts 'coz young boozers there are happier with fizzy drinks than with the red wines their elders booze. Annual per capita consumption is Xpected to drop from 216 bottles in 1970 to around 40 in 2025.
Just like the not so great bliar regime diesel scandal, when manufacturers lied about their engine emissions, electric car manufacturers are doing the same about the range of their vehicles.
+20% of the real range is a typical claim. And the cost of giving the vehicle a full charge is typically +15% of what the manufacturer tells you.
Do you have to be a Kreepy Smarmer to wear Dracula Boots?
No way, José!
Normal people L*o*v*e them.
Join the trend @
RomBootz, 72c Riverside Drive
|
 Is the real reason why Wee Sterney Burgeon quit that she was tipped off that her husband was about to be busted for shenannygoats with the SNP's finances?
If she had stayed on as 1st Meenister, she wouldn't have been able to run away and hide from awkward questions when it happened.
Political Jargon Xplained:
Extreme Agenda—official Xcuse for murder by the state of people doing ordinary things. Usually deployed in China, Iran, North Korea & Putridstan.
Q: The government plans to blow £20,000,000,000 of our money on storing 20 billion tons of carbon dioxide under the North Sea. How much difference will this make to the amount in the atmosphere?
A: As the atmosphere contains 3,284.4 billion tons of it, not bloody much.
Nice work if you can get it
The Scottish Child Abuse Inquiry has shoved over £60 MILLION into the pockets of the legal trade and there's a lot more to come, given the amount of foot-dragging that remains to be done.
Same old, same old; new name
Giving alms to the poor is out of fashion now. Today's version is paying other people's dosh to people who say they're having mental ishues. Which is just another name for doshing the poor, most of the time.
Apparently, the costa living is driving them mental.
The SNP has allowed the buildings housing Police Scotland to crumble to the Xtent that repairs will cost hundreds of millions of pounds of English taxpayers' dosh. If the SNP can be arsed to make them.
  Putrid News
Putrid the Poisoner, the notorious bunker-hunkerer, is attempting to convince his customers that a nuclear war ain't necessarily a Bad Thing. So what if a few of you get fried and start glowing in the dark? is his message. There will be lotz of you left to worship the Blessed Leader or one of his corps of doubles.
Putrid's main support base is alleged to be oldies, who view him as their playful grandson. Which rules out anyone younger than 99 years old!! So not Xactly a MASSIVE customer base.
 Colonel Atrocityenko of the Putinstani forces has been outed as the war criminal responsible for bombing raids which were intended to murder thousands of non-combatants in Ukraine, especially children and people in hospitals.
The Putinutters are also reputed to think their own pension-age grandchildren should be getting themselves killed in Ukraine. Clearly, a generation of head-bangers and Xactly how some of them managed to klingon to such an advanced age has to be another of life's mysteries.
The sometime Dodgy Cars Bloke and Royal funeral queue-jumper has confirmed via his antics with his criminal bro that he definitely is to be avoided.
Sirk Reepy Smarmer would like it known that he is not in the same 1% of the population as the prime monster.
The Snackstabber is in the 1% at the top of the richest list. Smarmer is on the list of people who pay their way 1% of the time.
Q: Is it news that Sirk Reepy Smarmer is a waste of space, according to the greater part of the electorate?
A: More like ancient history if it has been common knowledge for years.
The Labour party is in favour of paying doctors 35% more as long as Labourites don't have to contribute any of the Xtra cash.
 Which is dafter, buy an Easter egg made of cheese instead of chocolate just to be different, or shelling out fifty quid for a chocky bunny with a fancy label?
 Crime writer Lynda La Vegetable must be really easy to bamboozle. She thinks Wee Bee did incredible work when the discarded 1st Meenister only ever did things incredibly badly.
 Another disgraceful agenda
Labour's attempt to pretend that the SnackStabber doesn't think criminals should be sent to gaol just reminds everyone that the party is led by a man who kept J. Savile out of gaol when he was the Dir. of Pubic Prost., who assured us that O.J. Corbynstein would be a brilliant prime monster and put the criminal confecter T. Watson in the House of Lords.
Smarmer is also, in the opinion of sometime staunch female Labour supporters who were put off the party by O.J.C., a pathetic coward if he pretends to think that some women have a pianist.
  All this garbage about 237 different ‘genders' is . . . garbage. We have the perfectly good Latin-origin word ‘nondescript' to describe something that is unclassified and neither one thing nor another.
Thus three genders are quite sufficient; male, female and nondescript, which has the pronouns non for one and ney for a gang of them. And if the nondescripts start creating personal subdivisions in their category, they should be left to get on with it and dismissed by non-nons as just ignorable attention-seekers.
The struggling aerospace operation Virgin Orbit, which was widely seen as a personal publicity exercise by that bloke with a beard, has failed to attract the capital it needed to continue and it is going into orbit around the bankruptcy courts.
 Esso petrol in Romiley 144.9p/litre (rip-off)
Esso diesel in Romiley 155.9p/litre (less of one)
Another epic fail
The wettest March since 1981; caused by gorbal warmage, natch; hasn't filled up the nation's reservoirs to the brim. It would have if the water companies had been forced to repair their leaky pipes, but long Xperience of government inertia tells us that's not gonna happen, is it?
 “There were gangs in orange vests as well as the Yellow Vest Pests messing about in France during the week. Who were they? A different sort of Pest?” Impy Cunious
[Cudda bin les Flics, making their own personal contribution to the general chaos. Ed.]
“Anyone who tries to cross the Channel by an official route at the moment should get an official Masochism Certificate.” Fu Yun Huk
  Council tax to soar
The NHS is under pressure to release figures for the number of customers whose death was a direct result of delays caused to an ambulance by Low Traffic Neighbourhood obstructions erected in roadways by the minions of local councils.
The councils responsible for these outrages will become liable to pay compenbloodysation to relatives & dependents of the deceased when the legal trade gets busy with another racket.
“Is there such a thing as a criminal type? The pix in the papers of the Brighton bomber P. McGee can be mistaken for ones of the Yorkshire Ripper to a casual glance.” Sharm I'kastren.
 Trump short-changed by Democraps in Noo Yawk. Only 34 trumped up charges confected, not the 42 to which he is entitled.
Rule of Law in USA now official dead.
Trump to get hush money refunded as no hush delivered and contract breached?
Trump could be elected President of the Untied States again, sent to gaol and be able to pardon himself on the way there! That's how distant the US has drifted from reality.
SNAFU in Uselessstan
++ Wee Burney does a 'not me, Gov.' over old man's £600Kgate SNP funding gap ShockHorror ++
“Surprised that Wee Burney claimed she had no idea her old man was about to be busted? Not really if all she can tell are lies and she wouldn't know the truth if it bit her leg off.” Tommy Hifiver
“Why did the polis who turned over her gaff have riot shields and why did they stroll off with the barbeque?” Mac Aigrey
“20 of them? No doubt all Xpecting cups of tea and bisquits from the lady of the hoose as thanks for digging her garden for her.” Fass Aisle
Stereotyping the Pigeon Holes
Sirk Reepy Smarmer has a severe problem with getting to Downing Street. He has been told that he needs the votes of the Stevenage Woman category; people who are more occupied with real life ishues like the costa living crisis rather than politics.
Which is a Major Serious Problem for a bloke who doesn't know what a woman is, and who thinks that 0.1% of women have a pianist.
 East Suffolk council has received the Bollocks of the Month Award for claiming that removing 32 parking meters created a meaningful reduction in its carbon emissions.
Putinstan has threatened the Vatican with a nuclear seeing-to if the Putrid blogger who was blown up in St. Petersburg is not sanctified immediately.
No Xcuses or delaying tactics accepted.
Easter Monday Special
 Totally non-fattening!
‘Eat’ as many as you like!
There's nowt as virtual as an E-Stregg!!!
All sizes & types visually in stock!
Grab ’em while you can!
Romiley Delicacies, 221c Riverside Drive
 Modest RoundUp
Bud Lite is good only to use as a target when you try out your collection of automatic weapons, is the message coming out of the Untied States following the decision to rebrand it with a picture of a transvestite and trigger a boycott of unimpressed blokes in bars.
The Polish woman who was claiming to be missing Maddie McCann has been debunked. TV person Dr. Phil has eggon face big time for indulging her fantasy.
Female politicians in New Zealand, Wee Burneystan and now Finland have found that their electorate applies the rule: Go Woke, be Treated Like a Joke.
Putrid the Poisoner sez Finland, which has just become the 31st member of NATO, is now on his invasion list.
Conflating sex & gender is to be taken as evidence of mental incapacity from now on.
“What we need to do is go to France and stick an extra ‘e' at the end of the first word on all the ‘HORS SERVICE' signs to confuse the natives.” Tol Chok
Hospitals are trying to shed customers ahead of the doctors' strike to reduce the number of embarrassing deaths on the premises.
Sirk Reepy Smarmer to Xpel Finland from NATO if he becomes prime monster as the Finns didn't ask his permission to join.
That'll larn 'em!
SNP MSP claims that noticing that Humbug Useless is useless is rachelism!!!
[Mega mental incapacity, or what! Ed.]
 ++ Princess Fergiana biffs Mhegan the Muciloid & her hairy mate ++ Behave nicely or stay in California for King Chuck's coronation, she orders ++ The Moochers spend 1 hour per week doing charity work & every other hour has to be paid for by someone else ++ Hapless Hairy must test drug-free before being allowed back into UK ++
Today’s Condition:
encephelatio—fatal brain disease caused by giving oral sex to transisters.
No danger of putting their own house in order?
How curious that the Labour party should yell @ the Home Sec. for daring to cite the well-known fact that some child-grooming gangs involve men of Pakistani origin living in traditional Labour-controlled areas, and they're allowed to get away with it by politically correct police & mainly Labour politicians.
Sirb Eery Smarmer does ‘not me, Gov.' over Labour's route back to nasty party status via trying to sleaze SnackStabber Tory PM with crude lies about keeping sex criminals out of gaol when working hard to do this is something that is the traditional task of the members of the ludicrous left in the legal trade.
“Labour the party of loran orda? No one's going to believe that, no matter how much the likes of Lady Nougat, the person who has so much contempt for people who fly an England flag, pretend the party has done a one-eighty on being the criminal's friend.” Ripyara Newon
 ++ Kreepy Smarmer stands behind Labour libel that the SnackStabber PM is pro-paedophile ++ Labour to be cancelled for getting aboard Banter Band Wagon ++ Labour claims we should still be locked in whilst traces of Chinese plague remain in order to trash economy totally ++
“That's rich coming from the bloke who kept J. Savile, paedophile of this parish, out of gaol and put T. Watson, bogus paedophilia & murder confecter, in the House of Frauds.” Fun McGunn
“Smarmer by name, Scumbag's his game.” Nishku Marr
“Is Smarmer on a guilt trip for keeping Savile out of gaol? Looks like it.” Mike Muppetdisaster
 Go, Ebbels! Go Ebbels! Go, go, go!
“There doesn't seem to be anything about the BierBC's personal Dr. Goebbels on the front pages at the moment. Not that I'm complaining, mind. But, no doubt, the gobnarzi is brewing up something particularly offensive for King Chuck's Coronation Day Bank Holiday or the run-up to it.” Harry Zoner
“Never mind saying 'No!' to the reparations scroungers, we should be telling the lot of them, and their hangers on, to fuck off and cancel the whole poisonous bunch.” Reol Deol
++ Big baby Liverpool full back assaults linesman ++ Pundit called gary claims violent attack made on baby by official! ++
 Hey! Hey! striking for pay!
How many more have you killed today?
 Terrible shame they have nothing remotely useful to do with themselves
The cricket honchos in England have now cancelled the word ‘banter' as well as the activity.
Cricketing activities must now be conducted in dead silence during training, in locker rooms and on the pitch during matches in case some snoflake is offended, or pretends to be, by an entirely harmless remark.
 theGrauniad, which was founded by an unashamed slave trader, is taking a pop @ King Chuck over his obsession with Royal connections to slavery in order to make the Grauniadistas feel less bastardish.
The ban on banter mentality in an increasing number of settings is the perfect recipe for rachel segregation; either iggorantly on PC grounds or by deliberate design.
A spokes for a major employer told BFN:
"We don't employ people of other ethnic origins here to avoid upsetting them with language which is commonly used in our society but which might not be put in its proper context in theirs and cause offence, real or confected."
How apt that a James Babbage—a modern descendant of the Difference Engine bloke?—should be in charge of the formerly top secret National Cyber Force, which counters attacks by criminal states such as Iran & Putinstan.
How curious also that our SnackStabber PM is on-side with a Liberal party attempt to shove more of our cash into the pockets of the legal trade by letting a scumbag sue an employer for compenbloodysation because the scumbag is claiming to have been offended by something the scumbag earwigged, even if it has nothing to do with the employer.
Neither curiosity nor surprise involved in the revelation that Sirk Reepy Smarmer wants to put migrants in 5-star hotels to maximize the cost to the taxpayer for some perverse reason which he is keeping to himself.
Q: Is theGrauniad behind all the slaving that's still going on around the world?
A: All the finger-pointing @ others to deflect attention away from the insidious Groaners makes it look entirely possible!
Q: If a criminal is dragged into court to be forced to be present when a judge pontificates the sentence for a heinous crime, is there anything to stop the crim from sticking fingers in his/her/its ears to avoid listening to the judge?
A: If handcuffs are applied behind the crim's back to frustrate this manoeuvre, there's nothing to stop the crim from shutting its eyes and trying to remember all the verses of The Good Ship Venus as a distraction from what is happening around the convicted crim.
The 4-day strike by junior doctors is being blamed on infiltraitors who have put the BMA in the hands of the juvenile wing of the Corbynsteiner Momentumers.
A teaching union has voted for more drag-queens doing their act in schools so teachers can take more time off from doing what they're paid to do.
Things politicians get up to No. 821:
Former French PM E. Cresson did an in depth survey of English men and concluded that 25% of the ones she had met were homosexualists.
The operators of the Chinese gadget TiqToq have been obliged by the regulator to bung a modest £12.7 MILLION to the nation's coffers for abuse of the data of under-13s.
 The latest line from the doctors' union is that there are so many people waiting for treatment that the ones who don't get it because of their strike won't add all that much to the backlog.
Striking junior doctors can get counselling from other doctors who aren't on strike via their union to make them impervious to unkind people who have the gall to remind them that their strike is killing people who pay their wages, and leaving the ones they don't kill with untreated, distressing, worsening conditions.
The junior doctors' strike is Xpected to create excess deaths in numbers comparable to those from a really severe winter or the early part of the Chinese plague pandemic.
“Has the medical trade been buying up shares in the funeral industry?” Mike L. Ripper
“Jr.Docs helping people . . . into an early grave. Wunderbar!” Furl Insey
The SNP is getting the blame for judges in Scotland going soft on the crime of rape and effectively telling criminals that the first one is for free and there will be no gaol time.
Humbug Useless, the current 1st Meenister (but for how much longer?), responded with a routine "Not me, Gov."
[His job used to be screwing up the Health Service rather than the Justice System. Ed.]
South of the border, customers are being reminded that it was Sirk Reepy Smarmer, when Dir. Pub. Prost., who was responsible for softening sentencing laws to let judges let criminals off. Something which Labour, with typical dishonesty, is trying to blame on the SnackStabber PM.
Green Energy Boosts Our Exports—of jobs to China.
++ Government scraps house-building targets ++ Migrants will not be permitted to stay here unless they bring their own house ++
Wearing face masks during the worst of the Chinese plague was a waste of time & money, as the government knew over a decade earlier, and Wee Sterney Burgeon is to blame for it. And Sirb Eery Smarmer.
theGrauniad is to be renamed theSlave Trader's Gazette in recognition of its origins & its proud tradition of bringing enlightenment to savages.
The Afron newspaper theVoice is to be renamed theWhinge over its connections to the slavery repayment industry.
Smarmer's obstruction of proceedings against illegal entrants is recognized as a main contribution to helping terrorists to stay in the UK.
Saying NO to Nike
Customers are asked to be kind and inclusive.
In particular, they are being asked to stop moaning about a bloke being used to advertise clothing which is only for females.
Especially if he is doing sports clothing intended to control wobbly bits that blokes don't have if they are athletic
“Which the drag queen bloke isn't, we are assured by the Xperts.” Ron D'Ecoy
Q: Why is the Met institutionally rachelist, misogynist and all the rest?
A: Because the ‘independent commissions' which review the conduct of coppers won't let the Commissioner sack bad hats. It is the view of the legal trade that bad guys have to retain their job in the interests of diversity & inclusion.
More fossilized timber
The University of Greenwich is in line for losing its academic status after telling customers to beware of scary supernatural stuff, and spiders & other scary bugs in the B. Stoker classic Dracula.
[The wonks can't be described as having a culture as having a brain is a necessary prerequisite for that. Ed.]
King Chuck to do his coronation in dreadlocks to be diverse?
Certainly sounds daft enuff to be possible.
Today’s Quotation:
Part of serving well is to know when the time is right to do a bunk. – W.B. Sturgeon
Hey! Hey! striking for more!
Piled enuff bodies on your score?
Junior doctors are hoping for a place in the Guinness Book of Records for causing the maximum amount of NHS disruption possible . . .
. . . which is nice.
 Customers have been advised to do nothing risky this week whilst the Jr.Docs are on strike. "Stay in bed until the weekend", is the best strategy on offer.
“Won't that ruin the economy and make it impossible to pay the Jr.Docs anything at all?” T. Dairypimple
[As ruining the economy is current Labour party policy, we can just dump the problem on them. Ed.]
 People who have lost access to the NHS but who manage to keep on trucking regardless are starting to undermine the myth that we can't survive without it and asking pointed questions about the amount of dosh that's hurled into the bottomless pit of the NHS. Such as ‘could it be spent on something beneficial?'
The slave trade contributed only 3% tops to the Britisch economy back in the day. Which means that the claim that the Industrial Revolution and the wealth of the Empire were bought by slavery is just a deliberate black lie cooked up by repayment scroungers and bogus academics.
Humbug Useless is setting the tone for the new continuity SNP by downgrading the status of the Meenister for Oldies. He has other priorities.
“Is it possible to read the word ‘continuity' without assuming the IRA is involved?” Mike Robe
  The rush to get it done is being taken as proof that the SNP rigged its party leadership ‘contest' to put the continuity candidate, Humbug Useless, in place before Wee Burney's husband was busted and the continuity scam became even more poisoned. Wee Bee zooming off into hiding to dodge questions is added fuel to the flames.
A fair question
“Given that the polis were sniffing around for a couple of months before they did the clodhopper megabust, is it really likely that any really dodgy evidence was left just lying around for them to find when they eventually pulled the pin?” Job Swerth
 “Is Wee Bee's old man going to confess when confronted with the stuff they dug up from his garden and grabbed out of the recycling binz, like they always do at the end of an episode of Murder, She Wrote?” Vanilla Mayntrub
“What Xactly is the point of employing an accountancy firm if they don't notice that £600K has vanished?” I. Squeueb
Putin the ‘mess’ into message
An Occupied West Bank okay, occupied bits of Ukraine nokay.
There's nothing like politics for creating absurdities.
Something else absurd is the Archybish of Cantab thinking the world's oppressors would take any notice of him telling them they'll face divine justice when they're dead & gone. Putrid the Poisoner trembling in his boots? Like that's gonna happen.
Q: How many Essex Police does it take to kidnap 15 gollywog dolls from a pub on bogus hate crime grounds?
A: Fifteen. Well, it was a pub they busted.
Q: How many burgalries do the Essex Police actually investigate in a good month?
A: Maybe a couple. Maybe.
 “How does the concept of Yin & Yang cope with transisters & transbros, who don't fit the dualistic, interlocking pattern? Is a whole branch of philosophy in need of a wonk rewrite? Which will probably cause more trouble than it's worth?” Davol Gester
 There’s GW Fraud & there’s this!
One-man buses on some routes in Scotland are to be replaced by driverless vehicles, which will have a crew of two.
The ‘safety driver' will look at dials and twiddle his/her thumbs while the ‘bus captain' will help passengers with getting on & off, and with buying tickets.
Double-crewing is being touted as a cost-saving Xercise with planet-saving virtues.
“Driverless, but not as we kno it, Jum.” D'Arren Bingar
Fat fishermen are being banned from going to sea on 'elf & safety grounds.
Another triumph for the Body Mass industry.
Offensive Idiots Everywhere
theGrauniad Meeja Group is awash with dosh but it still rattles a begging bowl @ its readers. Which puts it in the same box as the beggar who lurks on big city streets, looking prethetic, then drives home with his loot in his Jag to his manor house in the country with hot & cold running bimbos.
 theGrauniad is claiming success for its campaign of pretending that the UK is irretrievably rachelist to justify its Xistence.
Today’s Quotation:
Anybody called John can become Pope – Pope John 23rd
“It's totally ludicrous to talk about Creaky Joe ‘running' for another shot at president of the Untied States. Maybe someone can come up with a more apt term before all the hoo-haa kicks off. Wheelchairing it, maybe?” Inser Gent
Creaky Joe RoundUp
Brit-hating Irish Joe has decided that the Southern Irish government needs to be put in charge of ruling Northern Ireland in his capacity as an honest broker who's a little bit biased.
The only connection between Ireland and the Untied States is the amount of dosh fake Irish bods in the USA present to the IRA; something Joe feels entirely able to ignore.
 Corbynstein’s monster
He learned to be soft on crime as part of the ludicrous wing of the legal establishment.
He learned the black art of emitting bare-faced political dishonesty outwardly shamelessly on Team Corbynstein.
Now, he seeks to destroy the country that his kind hate so much.
Welcome to the world of Corbynstein's Monster!
What HAS he done??
“Just when you thought he's the kreepiest smarmer in the known universe, he attaches his name to the crudest of libels aimed at the prime monster by the most ludicrous of the Labour left. For a lawyer to do this, it can only be evidence that he's hoping to deflect attention from something he's done that's multi-megashameful.” Des Peration
Today’s Epic Ishue: Xxxx's Deviation
Who gets their name attached to the practice of bending the truth out of shape blatantly and in so many ludicrous ways—Prince Hairy or Corbynstein's Monster?
“It's pointless moaning about the lack of vision on offer from Corbynstein's Monster. It's obvious he's incapable of coming up with one himself and also of hiring someone to do it for him.” Petro Dollar
“Maybe he needs to have a word with Hapless Hairy about what drugs to take to have a totally Xceptional vision!” Klep Toecap
“Blimey! Is it really 3 years since Labour swapped Corbynstein for his Monster, the Todger Bodger, who thinks 3½ million women have one? And that's all he's got to show off for the 3 years in the job? Being a Todger Bodger?” Lowi Slain
Public Service Announcement He's been called the Blogger of the Decade
His intellect is matched only by the size of his luck and the size of his bank balance. And yet he manages to keep his Feet On The Ground with the greatest of ease. Do yourself a favour and find out what Xavier has had to say about what's going on Right Now! |
The current inflation surge is being blamed on all the cash that was thrown @ the NHS during the worst of the Chinese plague whilst the nation was locked in.
And whose idea was that locking-in? The medical trade's. That's the bunch who keep leaping out on strike every two seconds, let us not forget.
  Yet more ‘do as I say not as I do’
One of the Corbynsteiners behind the Jr.Doc strike is receiving mega amounts of derision because he wasn't being rained on @ a picket line.
No, he skived off on holiday, which meant he was on leave and still being paid whilst the stooges out on strike weren't.
“Well, you can't Xpect a back-room Trot actually to get his hands dirty, can you? Or to lose the dosh.” Lurid Furnier
Today’s Vital Acronym:
GBAG—gang-banger avec gat
Today’s Quotation:
Part of serving well is to know when the time is right to do a bunk. – W.B. Sturgeon
 Doing the customers a BIG favour
Some kind person has booted the SnackStabber up the bum and he no longer thinks the Trivials' bill to let people sue their employer ‘coz they feel offended by someone outside the company is such a great idea after all.
“You just have to find out where the thought process goes on. For some, a smack round the back of the head jars a stalled thinking process into action. For others, it's a kick up the bum that does the trick.” Dan D'Rufft
Q: What's the Mickeyest of Mouse degrees on offer?
A: The MA in dragqueenology on offer by the Rose Bedford College in Kent.
Q: Channel 4 has a show featuring flashers Xposing themselves to schoolchildren. Is this the absolute pits of perversion?
A: No way. The Channel 4 sewer is . . . not bottomless, that's for sure!
++ Humbug Useless declares total camper van war on government in Westmonster ++ One for every transister & transbro as a right, he demands ++
Today's Moral Dilemma:
You come across a crashed car and there's a Jr.Doc trapped inside it.
Do you (a) stop and help? or (b) tell yourself life's a bitch and then you die, and just walk on by?
Creaky Joe Biden is to go for a 2nd term as POTUS? If that's the best his party has to offer, no wonder they're called DemoCRAPS!
Putin things in perve-spective
Labour is the party of OUTlaw & DISorder, and led by a lawyer who is on the side of terrorists & paedos.
"The Labour party is a moral crusade or it is nothing" – H. Wislon, failed prime monster
"Let it be nothing" – Corbynstein's Monster, PM wannabe
“Let us not forget that the Balls-Cooper woman was one of the friends of the Paedophile Information Xchange when she was a minister in the corrupt bliar labour administration.” Perry Dontal
“This was when Corbynstein's Monster was Dir. of Pub. Prostitutions and rewriting the rules to let judges keep criminals out of gaol. And making no attempt to put J. Savile behind bars.” Scru Tineyes
[He's not exactly done himself many favours, has he, this Smarmer guy! He opened Labour's political sewer, didn't have the good sense to stand well out of the way and got himself well splashed. Ed.]
  ++ King Chuck's coronation to be Muciloid-free zone ++ Mhegan has lotz to do in California like feeding the dogz ++ Nation's egg-hurlers outraged by Muciloid's refusal to be side show & target on Big Day ++
“Hapless Hairy—is he pussy-whipped with a cat o'nine tails? We should be told.” Noah Zark
It’s only other people’s dosh
The waxworks in China have wasted the equivalent of $9.96 million on naval & air force Xercises aimed at intimidating the government of Taiwan, which is much too important to the global market to be allowed to fall under the dead hand of communism.
Smarmer's Rulz on being soft on bad guys are keeping at least two dozen active Islamist terrorists at large in the UK.
Squandering a global asset
There are growing fears that the world's supply of lies is running out due to Corbynstein's Monster's reckless use of them.
“Didn't there use to be someone called Nickerless Turgeon in the news all the time? Whatever happened to her? On second thoughts, don't tell me. Who cares?” Jasmin Covid
Gone, Ebbels! Gone, Ebbels! Gone, gone gone!
“Same story with the BierBC's gobnarzi. Another who never will be missed.” Nascar Monty
  Police farces in England & Wales blew £44 million last year on ineffective spin doctors, who failed to make an avalanche of crimes ignored by those paid to deal with them go away.
++ Putin sex tapes become internet sensation ++ Furious 'Totally false sez Kreml' being taken as proof positive they are genuine ++
Creaky Joe is about 3% Irish but he think that gives him a licence to get his minions to toss a few petrol bombs about in Ulster on his behalf.
Joe, of course, being more likely to drop a lit petrol bomb on his foot than chuck it at the police, has to delegate the task.
Wheels come off medical boguses?
One major spin-off from the NHS strikes is that people deprived of ‘treatments' for various dodgy ‘syndromes' are finding that not taking the drugs they used to get on prescription (‘coz the ‘Xperts' of the medical trade are unavailable) is leaving them no different or actually feeling better.
from January 2015
The Council for Diversity in England will be investigating the important issue of why Improvised Snow Statues are always white and male.
Also under discussion will be the suggestion that 'diversity' is too limiting and what the country really needs is 'multiversity'.
The Council will also address the thorny issue of whether every university should be abolished on the grounds of singularity.
A report is Xpected in the next 2-3 years on the first 2 ishues. As far as the third is concerned, the Council is about to propose abolition of all universities and their replacement with multiversities.
 The Scottish NHS; the former fief of SNP honcho Humbug Useless; is so useless that it won't take blood from a male donor who won't waste time on ticking the box to certify he's not pregnant.
BierBCensorship Xposed by Marsman Musk
The simple device of showing an interview, which the Marsman did with a BierBC stooge, in full on Twatter is letting the customers see which bitz the BierBC chopped out as too embarrassing to show to its customers.
Monopoly-busting has its benefits.
Bud Lite, the drink for blokes in drag!
How big a market is there for that? Do you need both hands to count the potential customers? You certainly need a whole bunch of hands to count the $6 BILLION in trade and value that the company has lost when blokes in bars stopped buying cans adorning with a picture of a drag queen.
“A bloke in a frock doesn't Xactly fit the rough, tough frontiersman image cherished by Bloke In Bar.” Albi Baque
 On the way out
The Confederation of Britisch Industry used to be the bosses' mouthpiece but it has descended into ludicrous confusion and sleaze.
The membership has plummeted since it was taken over by woke Bremoaners, who are now being outed as sex pests.
Pundits are claiming it needs to be replaced by thrusting new industrialists who are carrying the twin torches of green ishues & gorbal warmage fraud. Which is exactly the last thing we need. But that's pundits for you. At least twice as many for every daft idea as the supporters of sensible ones.
At the start of 2015, Red Ed Milipede brought 2-Shags Prescott back into Labour's front row on the grounds that ‘he connects with people'.
Alas, no one told Edstone that 2-Shags does his connecting via smacking the customers in the mush.
Prescott's job back then was being Red Ed's climate-change advisor. You can't make stuff like that up.
The strike confecting but dodging leader of the Jr.Docs' trade union is being positioned as some sort of dilettante, who is never likely to work for a living as a medic as he has family wealth.
Will his puerile antics cost the BMA vital public support? As the BMA is now viewed as just another trade union, like the one fronted by Muck Lunch, and the Jr.Docs have the support only of their mums & dads; well, only some of them; probably not.
They're on the gross & greedy list, and likely to stay there.
 Transpifligaters are up in arms over the decision to award energetic & severe storms only male & female names.
“Unless the French do it. Noa for the last one? What's that supposed to be? Someone ran out of h's when trying to call it Noah? Bloody Frogs.” Logan Rithem
Councils in the Blackpool-Wakefield-Birmingham Triangle and the Hull-North. Lincs Axis are crap at keeping their roads in good repair and useless @ dealing with potholes.
Our Enemies No. 1,814: The Legal Trade
 From the lowest trainee smarmer to the top of the heap judge, they all have a vested interest in keeping criminals of all sorts out of gaol, committing crimes and providing them with the chance to stiff the taxpayer for a shedload of dosh.
Where there's a wig, there's wickedness.
Q: Lucy pill?
A: They give you ha-lucy-nations.
[See Hapless Hairy for a more detailed Xplanation. Ed.]
More gushings from the Labour political sewer:
If made prime monster, Corbynstein's will reduce the age of consent to 6 years old and award knighthoods to all members of the Paedophile Info Xchange.
 Marsman Musk reckons his decision to make his doggie the CEO of Twatter was the vital step in the process of making the company profitable and therefore floggable to some other mug.
[No, the dog will not be part of the deal. Ed.]
 “The French storm, Noa, which bashed the South of England last week, was advertised as 96 mph. If it was French, is that metres per hour? Which ain't all that impressive. I can walk 96 metres in a lot less than an hour.” A.L.M.
[Well, you know what the French are like for exaggerating. Ed.]
More dodgy data at great public Xpense
The last census made a bog of calculating the number of transpicaters. The Office for Notional Sadistics has been forced to shift a decimal point and reveal that they comprise just 0.0419% of the population of England & Wales.
How did the ONS manage to bog things up so badly? It could well be the work of transpifligater insiders attempting to make their chosen minority appear more numerous & influential than it actually is.
There is no guarantee that those who described themself as transpicaters of one sort or another were actually telling the truth, given that there is no legal way of confirming the claim if a hearty does of waterboarding is not permitted.
 “If Creaky Joe spent 13½ hours of his 17 hours in Northern Ireland asleep, is there enuff left to count as a visit rather than just a transit delay on his way to Eire?” J.L. Swerve
“Why does a transister need she and they as pronouns? Do they use them on alternate days to have an Xcuse to kick up a stink if someone doesn't know their system?” Athol Vetak
Industrial level bile
Why are Jr.Docs destroying the NHS & the health of the nation with a strike based on lies and a sense of entitlement as big as Mhegan & Hairy's? Because they can. And because they hate the customers as much as Creaky Joe hates the Britisch, especially the ones in Ulster who aren't IRA members.
“They really must hate the Britisch if 99% of a group of what are supposed to be well-educated people casually go along with the lies of the ludicrous lefties in charge of their trade union.” Zender Populate
Tell ’em anything; some might swallow it
R. Laurenson, the BMA strike confecter who shot off on a week's holiday to do a friend's wedding during the recent strike, is claiming he's ‘so sorry' for doing it.
Maybe his qualifier needs to be adjusted to ‘so-so' or even ‘not that'.
Nudging the Numbers
In cash terms, a 10.1% raise in the old state pension is the equivalent of 2.1% more for an NHS nurse on the average salary. Which means that a 5% pay rise for them is the equivalent of a 24% rise for pensioners.
2,423 XS deaths were caused by the 72-hour strike of hospital doctors.
10% of customers arriving at an A&E department need to bring at least 2 packed lunches and some snacks as they face a 12-hour wait for treatment.
Honcho of the SNP** Humbug Useless is being ordered to give Wee Burney the Salmonella treatment and hang her out to dry. And while they're at it, maybe Humbug should get more of the same himself as he had to know about the shenannygoats that were going on with the SNP's finances.
[*** being described as the BNP with kilts! Ed.]
The Green party's BIG Ideas for the 2015 general election included reducing the size of the Britisch population by encouraging spontaneous human combustion & cannibalism!
 
Prince Wills & Hapless Hairy won't be making eye contact @ their dad's coronation as the paper bag that gives Hairy his privacy will be installed backwards before he disembarks from his flight from California.
Gorbal Warmage not to blame for once
Polis Scotland is having to send patrols into the Cairngorms National Park to stop eco-saboteurs, who are trying the prevent the iconic caparcallies from breeding and drive them into Xtinction. No motive is on offer, but that's not something nutters always feel obliged to reveal.
SNAFU unsnaffle plan
The unappetizing former leader of the SNP pack in the House of Commons, I. Blackford, multiple winner of the Miserable Git of the Year Award, is urging the Ministry of Defence to rescue the island-based customers of the useless SNP regime north of the border.
His plan is for the Royal Navy to take over the economically essential ferry services which the useless SNP government and useless local councils have bogged up. His pretext is that it will provide useful training opportunities for naval personnel.
Of course, English taxpayers will be Xpected to foot the bill.
It will all be over by Xmas?
In May 2015, the Xperts were claiming that the internet would overload glassfibre optical cables and the whole thing would collapse in 8 years' time. That's in 2023. So something to look forward to in the next 9 months.
The National Register of Bigots is being reviewed and those who are Xtremists will be moved to the Multigots' Register.
Humbug the Useless, the Scittish 1st Meenister, is trying to rubbish warnings that the cronified SNP faces bankruptcy. Which means that it has to be on the way. Especially if Polis Scotland is now taking a keen interest in the treasurer of the SNP.
Same garbage, different source
Labour is in danger of achieving sufficient uselessness to take over in Scotlandland as the biggest party in the devolved government.
The Scots have had enuff of the uselessness the SNP is offering and they are seeking a different brand of this essential political commodity, just for a change.
 Q: American gorbal warmage swindler A. Gore was promising that the entire Arctic icecap would have melted by 2014. How did that work out?
A: Nobody has been able to do a survey of the Arctic icecap for the last few years due to the threat to life & limb from the unXtinct polar bears.
Mr. Gore, for some unexplained reason, is refusing to take the job on.
 A BierBC doesn’t change its Bias
"BierBC presenter fails to meet required editorial standards of fairness & impartiality", an item tagged on at the end of another newspaper story told us.
Which confirms that nothing will be done about the outrage and the bias and abuse of fairness will keep on going on.
Because the BierBC is run by the entitled for the entitled and the natural refuge of the gobnarzi.
18,000 dairy cows were killed by what is thought to have been a methane Xplosion in a barn on a ranch in Texas. Musta bin a helluva big barn to get all them cows into it!
++ Man with just 3% vision encouraged by Labour to demand driving licence as ‘uman bluddy right ++
A mere 5.81% of the reports cited by the gorbal warmage fraudsters are done rigorously enuff to yield valid & meaningful results.
Thanks to the Labour party, some people in Category 3 have to wait 2½ days for an ambulance to turn up after their 999 call.
The man who was in charge of China's response to the Chinese plague has admitted that details of where and how it started are too sensitive and politically embarrassing to the regime ever to be released.
Stop Oil looneys claim snooker is wrecking The Planet and must be made illegal and stopped at all costs.
All the more to slosh on King Chuck!
Queen Camilla will be slopped with Holy Gloop only on the crown of her head during the coronation annointments. The Archybish of Cantab is under strict orders not to wreck the hairdo and there will be a minion on hand to repair any damage before the Royal couple emerge from the Abbey.
King Chuck is to replace the chicken in Coronation Pie with dandelion leaves—shredded & wilted, of course.
In one year, police farces waste 1,323,000 hours on Twatter spats, trivial disputes between neighbours & unnecessary form-filling instead of work useful to the people who pay them.
 Sherie bobs back again . . .
“What the pensioners got; or will get next month ‘coz they're paid a month in arrears; amounts to 3.73% of what the Jr.Docs are demanding in the way of Xtra cash.” Brantug Astov
“If Jr.Docs are saving lives but have no savings, as their propaganda would have us believe, could that be because that they've blown their cash on riotous living instead of stashing it in a bank @ a piss-poor interest rate?” Mol Lodozhen
 “The problem with Jr.Docs seems to be that they Xpected a glamorous career and to be worshipped after watching Docs on TV, and they're finding the reality of having to work for a living more than they can hack.” Praq Tickle
“That Laurenson bloke, who confected the last strike then buggered off on a week's leave, has been diagnosed as having chronic plonkeritis.” Cy Licone
 “What happens if you switch your pocket phone off and take out the battery & the Service Interruption Module card? How is the government going to make it yell at you on Scare Everyone Sunday?” Petrov 'Spike' Newsagent
Do they have to take stoopid lessons?
It takes a Trivial member of the House of Frauds to think that one coal mine in Cumbria is going to make the slightest difference to the climate of The Planet and that it must be stopped at all costs.
[Sheer attention-seeking, total waste of time amendment, no wonder they're called the trivials. Ed.]
Despite the best efforts of the Labour party to spread doom & gloom
the apple blossom is in full bloom again
 Political Logic from the Labour Think Tank
1. Religious communities are not allowed to disapprove of members of the BGT-L Boutique deviants community but they are allowed to disapprove of the religion involved.
Provided it is non-violent and unlikely to respond with bombings and beheadings, of course.
2. It is egregious for an American state to ban the Chinese CrApp TiqToq but it is not egregious for the Chinese government to be able to Xamine the customers' data.
The gorbal warmagers are doing their best to position the UK at the top of the world's wildlife depletion list. No doubt in search of taxpayers' money via their contacts in the Dept. For Enviromint Wreckage.
[No mention of the effects of the bird flu epidemic of foreign origin on species decline, of course. Ed.]
No wonder he has to wear a bag on his head
The Can't Prosecute Service was ruled incompetent when he was Dir. Pub. Prost.
He did the taxpayer for around £200,000 of unnecessary Xpenses whilst Dir. of Pub. Prost. and not putting J. Savile (paedophile) in gaol. This is something which has been branded as using public money like a cash machine by the leader of the Labour party, a noted hypocrite.
He was responsible for the culture of believing every fantasy offered by a delusional 'victim', no matter how non-existent the evidence to support it.
He has a history of pushing prosecutions that were obviously going to fail to push cash into the pockets of the legal trade.
He changed the rules to keep criminals out of gaol so they could continue to break the law and push cash into the pockets of the legal trade.
He was responsible for creating a culture of widespread & systemic daftness in the CPS.
He introduced a culture of letting off those who commit aggravated trespass and block highways.
He has a self-editing memory, which retains nothing of any of the above.
The Royal College of Diligent Dabblers has approved the above for publication as an essential public service.
Creaky Joe to star in a revival of The Last of the Old Fellers on the BierBC?
Can't hardly wait!
Despite the upgrade in the pension age from 62 to 64, the French are still seen as the skivingest bastards of Europe.
Veston Peston Jaune Rule, Nokay!
Esso petrol in Romiley 146.9p/litre (more of a rip-off)
Esso diesel in Romiley 154.9p/litre (slightly less of one)
North Britain Noos
Wee Burney, currently in hiding, is being blamed for wrecking the Scottish separatist movement.
The Kreepy Smarmer is being seriously challenged by Wee Bee for the position of biggest hippocrite in the Britisch Isles.
Polis Scotland is arresting everyone in sight in the hope that someone will confess to something or other, no matter how trivial, to save them the bother of making something up.
Is Wee Bee on the Polis Scotland hit list for arrests? She's certainly up to her neck in the toxic culture created in politics by the SNP in its role as successor to Labour. What would they be like in charge of an independent Scotland?
Sherie does some Turn About views
“Smarmer—as soft on crime as he is in the head.” Clovis Flowers
“The NHS is Broken, sez Smarmer, the man who broke it.” Marr Shmallow
“Another of his smarmy lies—claiming to be politically neutral when prostituting a public office.” Pepp Ermint
“Labour doesn't think the Tories now running Croydon in London should be allowed to raise the Council Tax to rebuild the finances after a LABOUR regime drove the borough into bankruptcy.” Ovran Dunnit
“Bier Smarmer, the sex criminal's mate, his record as Dir. Pub. Prost. shows.” R. Thropod
 The rich & enterprising are not Xperiencing a costa living crisis and they are still blowing lotz of cash on trendy luxuries, despite the best efforts of the miserable gitz in the Labour party.
 As the police are involved in investigating the allegations of misconduct @ the CBI, nothing is Xpected to happen for 4-7 years.
Today’s Question:
If a sizeable meteor were to land on Dartmoor, would that affect the BierBC's shoddy record on bias?
SpaceX has NASA moment . . .
. . . when the booster failed to separate from its Starship space vehicle 4 minutes after launch and the whole things went fuel-KABLOOIE!
Unfazed, Marsman Musk is going to try, and try again.
Q: What's a great way to set a great time in a marathon race?
A: Get a lift from a helpful motorist if you feel wonky and accept the third place medal if you get to the finish in a good time.
One positive spin-off from all the NHS strikes and delayed treatments is that if you can't get into a hospital, you are unlikely to be raped by some anonymous fiend in a mask and scrubs.
There is a movement afoot to strip Metropolitan Police officers of their warrant cards to prevent rapists & killers from using them to bamboozle members of the public.
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 Mr. Wydey’s Book List
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More of Sherie’s picks
“Personal apologies to the family of everyone who died as a result of his strike from the holidaying strike confecter Mr. Laurenson of the BMA? Like that's going to happen.” M. Strongenger
“If Jr.Docs are going to food banks, as the BMA propaganda machine would have us believe, it's only to take the piss out of the mugs who donated the stuff they're snaffling.” Mac Aigrey
“Strike confecter Elidh Garrett of Manchester (near Romiley) is a trainee Jr.Doc who can afford to have liposuction on her thighs & abdomen between trips to a food bank and avoiding picket lines? Ain't life grand!” Pyu Tinazi
“Maybe she gets a trade discount, being in the biz.” Shah Mikastren
Scumspread
The theatre trade is finding itself increasingly invaded by loud & obstreperous drunks, who ‘sing' out of tune in musicals and kick up a stink when the security staff evict them.
This is being viewed as a part of the widespread lowering of standards encouraged by the Smarmer Labour movement.
Life will go on
 “There's an amazing amount of eco-fraud going on with the inevitable TV ad attached. Nature abhors a vacuum. Which means that if some species die out, others will fill the gap. The Planet didn't exactly end up devoid of life when the dinosaurs had run their course, did it?
“So there's no real point in giving the eco-scroungers ten quid per month or whatever. The Planet has another five billion years left before the Sun goes nova and swallows it up. There's going to be lots more evolution, despite the best efforts of the TV doombuggers to persuade us that only they can make it possible.” Power Paq
Things to be avoided:
Penguin-Random House bowdlerized and creepified editions of the works of P.G. Wodehouse. Don't buy their versions, do buy copies of older editions second-hand if you want authenticity.
Preta Menagerie is being outed as a primary source of greedflation. Other eateries, including McDonuts, are in the same box.
Do we swallow this?
If the average Jr.Doc makes £55,420 p.a., and they are paid £14/hour, as the strikers claim, that means they do an 84-hour week.
Really? 12 hours per day every day of the week except when they're on holiday?
Mutual Mentality
It is increasingly difficult to find much difference between a contemporary trade union leader and a boss of the Mafia, the Triads & the Yakuza, or V. Putrid.
All these NHS strikes are being viewed as a cynical ploy to build up customer numbers and ensure continuation of employment. Nice!
Allgemeine Dummheit
The Black Forest region of Germany is to be renamed as its title contains a colourist word. Discussions aimed at finding an alternative acceptable to the Gateau manufacturers are Xpected to drag on for 8-13 years and involve the consumption of vast numbers of free lunches.
 Decarbonizers on acid?
The lunatics in charge of the Brecon Beacons National Park in the south of Wales are trying to bury the image of beacons burning carboniferous fuels. They also think the mention of the word beacon encourages nutters to rush into the park with petrol & matches to start wildfires. [Which the management can blame on gorbal warmage, of course. Ed.]
Those whom the Gods want to destroy, they first make mad. How true those words are, even today.
C. Melting-Jones, the hot honcho of the gang running the park, is being consigned to the Welsh Division of the Numptie Bunker.
 ++ Scots up in arms ++ Looney decarbonizers trying to cancel Burns Nicht as threat to public safety ++
++ Resigned in disgust—Deputy PM Raab victim of bullying by Civil Service Blob & legal trade ++ Trial by meeja & political stitching up by anti-Tory luvvies ++ Quality of 'investigation' as ludicrous & lackadaisical as Boris stitch-up by Sugar Ray & Harridan Harperson ++ Smarmer Labour blamed for using up entire world supply of shame ++
 Back in 2015, when Putrid the Poisoner was busy rolling out his invasion plan for bitz of Ukraine, the good people of Odessa remodelled a 'much unloved' statue of V.I. Lenin to look like Darth Invader.
Could that be the likely fate of the statues of Putrid in Moscow when he gets the chop? As he surely must do when someone else works up the nerve to take over his racket.
BFN was doing a 'spot the difference' involving the BMA and the strike-happy rail unions back in November 2015.
Plus ça change, and all that.
 The bosses of the Women's Institute are in trouble with the members for bending the rules to let blokes who claim they are female join its branches, and forcing the branches to accept the bending. The dead hand of tyranny, and all that.
“A dishonourable membership of the W.I. for the Kreepy Smarmer bloke who doesn't know what a woman is?” Ura Nasso
Despite a pledge made by the government in 2010 to stop sending aid money to China, the aid bozos have managed to shovel £400 MILLION of taxpayers' cash out East over the last 12 years.
No sackings for misconduct in a public office are Xpected, of course.
Today’s Word: Intercostals
 The Humbug Syndrome
There seems to be a growing subversive movement everywhere dedicated to protecting the useless. The resignation of Deputy PM D. Raab was confected to protect obstructive civil servants from getting a talking to when they fail to do the jobs assigned to them.
The 'went woke, went broke' sacked honco of the CBI, T. Danker, is another example. He's outraged by getting the sack over MeeToo! stuff that went on 3 years before he got the job.
He also feels entitled to be outraged 'coz being a Grauniadista didn't protect him from getting the push on the basis of the ludicrous and totally trivial charges—compared to the MeeToo! stuff—that were made against him.
Who's next? One thing you can be completely sure of is that it won't be someone who's genuinely useless, like Humbug Useless, honcho of the SNP. Or, indeed, Sirk Reepy Smarmer.
“It's the ones who got a gong or two as their reward for a civil service work career devoted to making up Xcuses for why nothing useful was ever done who are usually the worst offenders. Especially when they're on their massive pension. The really Gustacious ones.” Jerome E'Park
Putin the ‘mess’ into message
One of theGrauniad's journalists reckons that he's spotted where Kreepy Smarmer is going wrong.
Smarmer is doing mindless polit-speak and behaving like a HUTAgonian Grauniadista, and real people don't identify with someone like that and won't make an effort to try to decypher the kreepy & ludicrous messages.
“Yaa, boo, you suck!”
“I see Angular Robot, Kreepy's deputy, remains a card-carrying member of the gobnarzi tendency and not bovvered about making a mockery of her beery leader's pretence to be a civilized alternative to the Tories.” Klep Toegark
Dr. Internet has overtaken the failed NHS GP system as the first destination of people when they are feeling wonky.
 Still out for No. 1, no change
Crumbs! Back in January of 2016, their union boss was claiming that when the Jr.Docs went on all-out strike in England & Wales, no one would die.
So no surprise that the BMA is just another trade union and still ready to let the customers go to hell. And all that chat about medicine being a calling and a profession and something special is just trade union BS.
Code B or Code BS?
We had all the diversity & gender stuff, and demands for Oscars handed out based on ethnic quotas crap going on seven years ago. About the only difference was that Corbynstein rather than his Monster was being crap in charge of the Labour party.
Oh, yes, and the BierBC was playing silly buggers with the plot of classic novels and doing it's "Ain't we clever?" routine.
 Also back then, the National Union of Teachers wanted to create a mega-union of all trades, which would prevent the natural ignorance of children from being tainted with learning supremacy, and also keep the sick from receiving medical attention from the NHS.
Team Putrid, or what!
Come on! See the World! [and get killed in Ukraine]
Putrid the Poisoner's recruitment ads for the army tell his customers that he wants only real men. No poofters, no blacks, no transbros, just solid (between the ears) Russian meat-grinder fodder to keep his kleptocracy campaign going.
Another Putrid double lost the raffle and had to make a trip to occupied Ukraine in the week just gone.
Humbug Useless vs Labour's AnAss AahWaah.
What a choice for Scotland.
Corbynstein's Monster triumphant! He's found a pretext to boot his maker's sometime girlfriend, D. 'Abacus' Abbott, out of the Labour gang.
Only high-definition rachelism is acceptable to the Labour party now. Accept no substitutes! Abbott's Law Rulz!
How DID we manage without him?
The inflation crisis, the costa living crisis, the fuel crisis and gorbal warmage are all down to the useless Gov. of the Bonk of England, who thought it would be a good idea to push £450,000,000,000 of Monopoly money into the Britisch economy after President Shish of China let us try out his pandemic plague for free.
Another good Xcuse for an instigater not doing a BMA picket line and not being out on strike and not losing any excessive pay as a consequence is to claim you're recovering from some urgently necessary liposuction.
What passes for a government in Wales is going to hand £1,600 per month of English taxpayers' dosh to migrants. Which is a grand more than pensioners get to last out their month. Typical bloody Labour.
 Somebody else desperate to be noticed . . .
Sometime Tory honcho Billy "14 pints" Hague is getting his nose biffed for poking it in to the business of the Women's Institute and the members' reaction to The Invasion of the Transisters. [cue sinister music! Ed.]
“Maybe he had 15 pints if he thinks transisters are the future of a modern Britain.” S. Iegheil
“Is the W.I. also going to have to run a parallel 'Say Hello to your Transbro' campaign on diversity & equality grounds? Calling the organization the Women's something is pretty bloody discriminatory.” Goldarn Gates
 Nutrition for the Nation or Sheesh! It’s Kishe!
King Chuck's home-cooked dandelion Coronation Kishe is getting the hard sell from members of his family. Prince Hairy is reported to be outraged that no one has invited him to a taste test.
Those who want something a bit more Xotic than boring old kishe will be offered the dandelion pizza with rose-petal puddles.
Go! lots of Ebbels!
The boss of GCHQ is worried that A.I.s could unleash an Xplosion of fake news. Which confirms that he is not paying attention. We already have one—most of it coming from the BierBC's gobnarzis. And the interweb, of course.
Make the effort to get it right, mate
"The truth does not know red and blue", a US lawyer said, referencing the Repubelican & Democrap causes.
Which leaves the rest of us thinking: "And political red & blue don't know the truth, mate. Not does the legal trade, if we're being accurate. So that's a one-all draw."
The Quality of Quibbles is Strained
What do you get for having a legal A.I. equivalent on the payroll for 5 months? No smoking gun. Just a mass of recycled whinges. And a few rather odd conclusions. Such as it's not on to move a minion who goes off the reservation and gives false Bremoaner information to a foreign government. Really?
Such as it's not on to tell minions their work is woeful & inadequate without giving them a full run-down of what they should have produced. Really? Even if that makes the minion totally dispensable if the Minister has to do its work for it?
And so it goes on.
Today’s Icelandic Words:
1. Gescheftingscrook – businessperson
2. Valtingscrook – politician
Timbers duly shivered
 Do the people who do newspaper & WWW columns really have so little to do that they can sit around confecting silly stories about A.I. systems wiping out the human race?
If humans are just clunky inferiors, aren't A.I. systems just going to ignore them? Why go to all the trouble of wiping them out if they are so irrelevant to the machine world?
Gorbal warmage? Not something super-computers can't circumvent. No trees or vegetation or insects? Species decline? Not something that will bother machines either.
“What's actually at the back of it is the knowledge that AI systems will be able to make up much stoopider stories than any human and the hacks are all going to end up on the scrap heap with no source of income.” L.G.R.
Coronation Kishe—Duke Ed of Edinburgh nails it for cookist Dame P. Leith!
“Are they going to serve dandelion & burdock instead of wine with the dandelion Coronation Kische or Pizza?” Optical Vrith
FIFA, which holds world records for being the most corrupt organization on the planet; something that makes the CBI look like a bunch of amateurs; is Xpected to fail hundreds of football agents after subjecting them to its new qualification test.
The object of the Xercise is to prevent parents from representing their offspring, who will be forced onto the books and into the clutches of a usual suspect.
Labour is being done for Islamoconfusion after a mouthpiece for the national party referred to the SNP Firstie, Humbug Useless, as Mohammed Useless.
 How desperate can you get!
The O.J. Corbynstein lookalike Slick Willy Clinton, 103, is being dragged out of his box to try to jolly the DUP back to the vacant Stormont parliament building in Ulster.
Creaky Joe Biden, a notorious IRA fan, has clearly been deemed unsuited to the job.
 Equine Noos
The leisure wonks who tried to sabotage the Grand National are moaning that the police got tough with them when they resisted arrest. No doubt they are hoping that some soft-hearted judge will bung them some compenbloodysation as a bonus after letting them off public disorder charges.
Polis Scotland is not completely totally useless and beyond hope. Its minions managed to prevent a gang of ludicrous nuisances from carrying out their bid to cancel the Scottish Grand National @ Ayr.
Today’s Question:
Big panic to evacuate Brits ‘coz the natives are restless but you do have to ask: "Why would anyone want to be in a country like Sudan in the first place?"
Today’s Other Question:
Who was the fat woman with the lad in the naff jacket in the paper the other day?
 Today’s Over-abused Word: Earn
People, usually in the public sector but not Xclusively, are paid stupid amounts of usually taxpayers' money, e.g. civil servants, local council officers, investigating lawyers, university vice-chancellors and BierBC gobnarzis, but one of them actually earning the cash is an occasion for putin the flags out.
 The NHS is a sacred cow that scoffs loads of hay but fails to turn it into milk.
 Putrid’s Alibi:
My enemies are trying to frame me. They invaded Ukraine whilst I was in hospital being treated for 32 life-threatening conditions.
Not me, Gov! Honest!
Keep an eye on the Kipper Squad
Patel trashed by Whitehall's fifth column. Raab too. Braverperson next?
There has to be more if the usual suspects are putting alibis in place. "Move along, please. There's nothing to see here."
“Nothing to see because it's confected & trivial & overblown & a nice little earner.” Hartley Wurthit
“Could D. Raab really Xpect a just decision from a PM with a record as a Snackstabber in the back? This is just what the Tories need; a leader no one can trust. Not.” Davol Gester
 The latest bit of alarmism being hurled at us is that prolonged wearing of a face mask could be much more dangerous to the human body than a severe dose of the Chinese plague. Is this the Xplanation of what's wrong with the face mask-wearing medical trade?
 Must try harder . . .
What does it say about the Blues in the Untied States if the best they have to offer is Creaky Joe Biden, who's about 198 and counting,? If he gets another term as president, his party will be confirmed as the DemoCRAPs.
“What the Untied States really, really needs is a president with all his marbles.” Noh Azark
70% of Yanks say: "Don't run, Joe!"
The Democraps in the US are trying to blame the Britisch for setting off phone alarms in Florida @ 4:45 a.m. last Friday. The Biden Bunch are trying to claim it was a misdirected rehearsal for the UK's Scare U Sunday.
“The object of testing is to find out if something works and to spot area that are defective. That's what Scare U Sunday has achieved. So anyone who's moaning that bitz didn't work is an idiot.” Inser Gent
 Blame President Shish
It seems that all the current bad behaviour in theatres is the fault of the Chinese plague and lock-in. Yobs weren't able to indulge in minor bad behaviour in a public place when locked out of theatres and they are now making up for lost time.
Q: If you're the SNP, how much of the £58,452,333 received as income over the last 16 years do you spend?
A: £59,158,110.
 Unlocated Scam Phone Calls
One came from 07746 980 662 and was a recorded message claiming to be the VISA fraud department about a payment of £800 to an on-line gambling operation in the Untied States.
Exactly the same message arrived a few days earlier but from a different pocket phone number: 07796 954 785.
Being blunt with Hunt
Business leaders want the Chancellor to scrap the Tourist Tax imposed by ending VAT-free shopping for foreign visitors as it has a negative effect on the economy. Which seems to be what Hunt is all about, so they're not likely to have much luck.
Just zap some bugger, any bugger
The Russian air strike was a complete success. Alas, the pilot was just a bit off course and a town to the east of the border with Ukraine was zapped.
Oh, well, Putinstan is a big place and one small Belgorod less doesn't really matter.
[Belgorod translates as White Town. Not any more. Ed.]
Official: 2 citizens were admitted to hospital with hypertension.
The Xtinctionists have revealed that they didn't fancy their chances against the thousands taking part in the London Marathon last Sunday, and chose to remain unzapped in their suburban mansions.
The Prince Hairy fiction factory is really struggling for something that hasn't been recycled multiple times. Yawn.
++ No General Gordon crisis in Khartoum ++ Britisch ambassador consulting & on holiday in London when mad Mahdis kicked off ++ 10/10 for good political sense ++
“Why is anyone pretending to believe that British diplomats are the best in the world? The Foreign Office has spent decades proving it's just a cosmetic adornment, and the headlines on the newspaper outrage pieces from Xperts confirm it. Which puts the confected outrage about what's going on in Sudan beyond hippocrisy.” Jan Jerweed
Understanding casual evil
On the one hand, you might think that Beery Smarmer is a sociopath who wouldn't recognize the truth if it bit both his legs off. On the other hand, you have to remember that he's a lawyer and a politician.
Members of both trades feel entitled to ignore the truth; or make sure they don't hear it; if they feel that it could be inconvenient.
They are happy to offer only part of the truth, or its Xact opposite, if that suits their devious purposes better.
Remember: Morals just don't matter to that sort.
Sherie gets stuck in again
“If deportations of criminals have dropped under the Tories, that's down to ludicrous left judges, lawyers, luvvies and the likes of B. Smarmer. Labour is still determined to be the party of the criminal.” S. Auerstoff
“The latest ludicrous left Xcuse for bigotry & rachelism & the rest is 'a need to Xpress honest anger'. That's a need felt by people who wouldn't know honesty if it bit their bum off.” Dan D'Rufft
“Is Bier Smarmer trying to make a virtue of reverse rachelism combined with reverse criminality? It's certainly stands up as the reason why he blocks deportations of black Jamaicans who are convicted criminals.” Des Peration
“Is there really, as the BLAME Bunchers want us to accept, something homogeneous that amounts to 'black people' given the range of types around the world? If their heroes are just dead American criminals, they're not really a gang to be appreciated.” Fass Aisle
Buddies under the skin
Israel, run by Mr. Net&Yahoo, who is reputed to be as corrupt as sometime FIFA honcho S. Blatter, is getting pally with energy-rich Turkmenistan, which has the world's worst 'uman bluddy rights record.
Where do you start making comments about that!
Self-imposed snag
A new ethical problem for Jr.Docs is how to cope with customers whose condition has worsened from inconvenient & painful to life-threatening & downright Xcruciating as a result of neglect by the medical trade.
++ Civil service union demands 4 day week for 5 days' pay ++ No one even slightly surprised ++ 'Scrounging bastards' is general response ++ But less scrounging than 35% pay demand from Jr.Docs ++
Must try harder
Examination of the videos released by the Putinstani army showing lengthy queues @ recruitment offices reveals an unsurprising number of the same faces at offices hundreds or thousands of kilometres apart.
The time stamps on the videos, curiously, have been crudely changed to disguise the fact that the queue gangs are being bussed around the country in coaches with blacked-out windows. Maybe Putin needs to blag some Chinese technology to get his video problems sorted.
Despite the transdemic, the W.I. has managed to resist approving a membership application from a transister who bragged about being a sadistic & violent thug and a bone-breaker on Twatter.
++ Rail unions target the Eurovision Song Contest, the Cup Final & the Derby with strikes ++
++ theGrauniad trying to pretend UK chockablock with rachelist serial killers—based on not that much, actually ++
RCN pleads poverty. The Nurses' union was unable to afford a 2023 calendar and that's how a strike was Xtended illegally.
[An incompetent trade union? The mind boggles! Ed.]
Is your name too white?
Do the nominal racialists judge you unfairly sight unseen?
Neutral Names of Romiley should be your next stop;
and your salvation.
152b Riverside Drive, Upper Romiley
Who needs celebs any more?
Not some of the more enterprising magazines. They just feed their chosen target's public burblings into an A.I. gadget and confect an 'interview' on any topic of current interest.
There is a downside however. The exors. of M. Schumacher are up in arms about him becoming the target of a confection.
Schumacher (German) is remembered for swindling D. Hill (Britisch) out of an F1 drivers' championship and failing to do the same to Jolly Jacques Villeneuve (Canadian) before suffering loss of personality following a catastrophe on a ski slope.
Mhegan the Muciloid wrote to the then Prince Chuck a couple of years ago to warn him that she would be unable to contain her innate rachelism. Or something.
That's a wonderfully ludicrous left concept—a rachel victimhood tree with 'Abacus' Abbott as the fairy on the top and some bald white bloke who used to have red hair right down at the bottom.
The BierBC now has a fact-confecter minion who is off the chart to the left of ludicrous left. No one is surprised.
“Does Abacus Abbott's fate really matter any more than Sirk Reepy's?” Slim Dunk
Q: Why do universities have vice-chancellors but not chancellors?
A: Have you seen how much vice-chancellors are paid? They couldn't afford a full chancellor.
Q: B.B.?
A: Ball bearing or bent brief, according to the context.
Q: Why won't the self-righteous talk about the time Britisch warships spent hunting down slave ships and freeing the prisoners?
A: Because there's neither money nor guilt-trip virtue points in it.
Q: Exotic?
A: Exo = foreign, tic= minor waste of space.
A Zero Expectations Society
“The Tolley Report was a complete waste of 5 months of taxpayers' dosh. He found that D. Raab had done nothing dreadful & unreasonable, but Raab still got what amounts to the boot 'coz his SnackStabber leader wouldn't support him. Meritocracy has sunk in the woke swamp to the Xtent that little remains and The Blob has a free hand..” Perry Zontal
Ofcom is planning to let the low-number TV channels shove in 71.4% more advertising, even though its own research sez the customers are violently against the idea. This is another part of the 'Creep State'** dumbing down agenda of The Blob. And there is dosh involved, of course.
[** more blatant version of the Deep State conspiracy, Ed.]
The Scrounger Tendency is busy busting a gut to confect a truly monstrous total for King Chuck's inherited wealth so they can stamp their little feet and demand a share of it. Get a job! A real one.
Today’s Question:
If White Silence = Vilence, what does Black Noise equal?
Vulture ‘n’ Rat RoundUp
London hotels are in competition to see which can get away with the biggest greedflation mark-up when King Chuck gets coronated.
Prince Hairy accuses The Scum journalists of having blood-soaked typing fingers.
Wee Burney demands that her mush should go on the new Scottish pound note.
BoE bigwig tells peasants to stop being revolting & deal with being poor without so much whining.
The Notional Truss is Xpecting a decline in visitors due to a decision to replace useable car park payment methods with a crApp which, natch, doesn't work.
NHS contract doctors in Sudan are outraged by not being allowed on to air-lift flights towards the UK if they don't have a valid UK passport. Attempts by left-wing news outlets to suppress the bit about not having a passport have failed.
Chairman of BierBC forced to quit for being a Tory who knows who President Boris is.
Humbug Useless is the most popular politician in Scotland—with the SNP's opponents. He bogs things up so completely & so often that the other parties know that they can never ever blunder badly enuff to out-humbug Mr. Useless.
Mind you, he is getting really severe competition from his Labour counterpart, Mr. AnAss AahWaah.
Non-shock, Non-horror
No one is ever surprised to learn that the BierBC's political fact-checking unit is staffed by ludicrosities who try to ensure that nothing embarrassing to the Labour party & other ludicrous left causes is ever presented to the paying customers.
A spokes for the BierBC announced that paying lip-service to impartiality, rather than actually observing it, is more than sufficient.
“The Abacus woman has come up with an interesting reason why Labour's anti-Semitism doesn't matter. If it's only a prejudice rather than rachelism, that's okay. Maybe if she gets the sack as an MP, she can get a job at the BierBC.” Baq Paq
  The Statue of Liberty is to be remodelled to ditch the torch, which has a planet-destroying combustion image. The lady, who is already the green colour of decayed copper, is to be provided with an LED energy-saver lamp (optionally bearing a green-energy logo) and fitted with a wind turbine on her head to power it occasionally.
“Like that windmill Dave the Leader had stuck on his suburban home when he was being wonky?” G.W. Freud
Pick your own Slogan
Gesture Hero, Achieving Zero
Green Mime, Wasted Time
It won't Wash, You just want Dosh
Wham, Bam! It's a Scam!
Ain't no Riddle, the Tale is Wibble
Hey! Hey! striking for pay!
How many more will you killed today?
The Labour party insists that government ministers should be ficially black rather than superficially black. In practice, this means that Afrons have to sound like Yardies on the phone rather than products of a decent English school.
 Where does it say in the rule book that Europe is entitled to have glaciers? And why are the people who want to keep them not demanding that the Chinese & the Indians stop dumping carbon dioxide into the atmosphere if that's what's melting their glaciers? Too scared of President Shish?
Today’s Proverb:
Convictions without courage of them cut no ice.
 Another peeved minority heard from
The civil service Thudders' Club is demanding sound-proofed spaces in the workplace where they can tie one another up and indulge in sado-masochism without interruptions, e.g. to investigate screams of agony.
They are running into a major obstacle, however. So many of them are Shirking @ Home that they can't round up the necessary numbers in the workplace to justify their demand.
The odds of winning a bet that Creaky Joe will last a full second turn without croaking or going totally ga-ga are not Xactly wonderful.
“Why can't people in show biz & politics retire gracefully when they get to pension age and shut the hell up?” Reol Deol
PR Catastrophe due to Scum Rising
The Jr.Docs are up in arms 'coz their union leaders are being Xposed as anti-Semitic, anti-Tory, anti-white rachelists and general scumbags, which is doing untold damage to the BMA's public image.
"How dare they ignore our shield of entitlement," is the vexed message.
Today’s German Word: Pfefferblatter
Someone who pays the bribes to trouble-makers
Another charge against President Shish
Despite the costa living crisis, more people are able to afford to drink themselves to death than the pre-pandemic scores. The Chinese plague encouraging more boozing is getting the blame.
Brits need to stop going to Europe to spend their spare cash until the EFU stops twatting about & building unnecessary queues @ borders. Hit the bastards where it hurts! And Hunt the Useless needs to stop blocking VAT relief for wealthy foreign visitors to the UK.
Do you suck up to the Todger Dodgers?
Bier Smarmer does 'coz he's that sort of guy.
Anything goes if there's summat in it for him.
posted by the Campain for a Smarmier Brittan
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RCN union bosses were dismayed by the government's decision to take their advice and stand up to bullies instead of letting them Xpand their strike mandate illegally.
The Labour party's official St. George's Day (English) video featured Sirb Eery trying to smarm SNP voters in Glasgow (Scotland). Perfunctory, or what.
The Office for Notional Sadistics is getting its knuckles rapped for confecting a wild overestimate of the numbers of transists in England & Wales.
Partygate probist Sugar Ray is under investigation for ignoring the rules on political neutrality and insider knowledge.
The CBI has severed its connections with the Labour party over Labour's record of anti-Semmitism.
Eating fried food can raise anxiety levels by a massive 4%. Eating fried chips can deepen depression by a HUGE 2%. Prethetic confection, or what!
++ Chairman of BierBC forced out for knowing President Boris ++ Garbage about potential conflict of interest just garbage now that Boris no longer in charge ++
 Below the line mission statement: Some of the above is true. BFN is recognized as a premiere class observational blog and a multiple winner of the OB of the Year award.
We are constantly exposed to dodgy conclusions drawn from dodgy data by the 'experts', especially those found in the world of politics and especially those at the Treasury and in opposition. Some of us civilians at BFN like to join in to let them know that anyone can do it and we ain't impressed by their efforts.
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top | Created for Romiley Anarchists' League by workers in revolt against oppression to set the record straight in the 3rd millennium.
© RAL, April MM23 like anyone cares. |
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