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Please Note:
The Following presentation may contain stunts and experiments which should not be imitated – so that you never realize just how easy they are to do.

space news

Mere illusion

The news and anti-social meeja launched a torrent of hype about the super-Moon (14% bigger than the average) turning bright, blood red when eclipsed. All total bollocks, of course. The red Moon phenomenon is something out of the same box as galaxies ablaze with glorious colours; images which became available only since electronic detectors were strapped to telescopes. An electronic eye, plus amplification and enhancement, sees a whole lot more than the Mark One human eyeball. But hey, when have the news meeja ever let a few inconvenient facts get in the way of a chance to hype?

Romiley News

Romiley astronomers on this month's total Lunar eclipse:

“I would say most of the eclipse photographs on offer are suspect. Through binoculars at totality, the Moon was white with a dark reddish tint; think coal fire with a good layer of ash on the glowing coals; which disappeared toward the edges of the disk, and the south pole was always distinctly lighter than the rest.”

“What I saw last night is nothing like the silly picture in today's Daily Mail [2015/09/28 Ed.]. The Moon was high up in the south-east at totality, not scraping along the horizon as in the Mail's picture. To the naked eye, there was a pronounced brightening at the south pole at totality. The top half of the disk was quite dark and there were dark yellow and red patches in between. Any uniform, whole-disc blood-red in photographs has to be the medium capturing something which doesn't register on the human eye. And a ton of crafty enhancing.”


Not for nothing are they called the Looney Left
If Corbyn Labour ever gets to power, shops and supermarkets will undergo a major transformation. K. McCarthy, Labour's vegan farming mouthpiece, wants meat-eating to be put on a par with smoking. So that means shutters on all cabinets containing meat products to prevent children from seeing them and plain packs plastered with horrible pictures of the imaginary diseases, which vegans think are caused by eating meat.

This will hurt
Music publisher Warner/Chappel faces a multi-million-dollar bill for wrongly claimed copyright royalties. A judge in the US has ruled that the company holds the copyright only on a specific piano arrangement of Good Morning To You, the Happy Birthday To You tune, and has no claim on the lyrics.
   That will be a hole of around $56 MILLION in the company reserves.

Just bugger off, then
An Iranian migrant, who has been living here for 10 years and who wants a British passport, suddenly decided to try to get himself deported as an illegal immigrant because he got fed up with living in Manchester. Which leaves us asking why he doesn't just sod off back to Iran. It's not as if there's anyone trying to stop him.

black square You can tell how seriously Volkswagen is taking the engine software used to cover up pollution scandal by the fact that the member of the supervisory board who was giving TV interviews is called Olaf Lies.


What message does Corbyn's unReal Labour give to the nation?
"If we get into power, don't bother making an effort because the state will take from you to give to its supporters, especially those who can't be bothered to shift for themselves."

black square Democracy, according to the Marxist religion, to which J. Corbyn subscribes, is a bourgeois deception. Hence the gangs of trade union leaders talking about breaking the law any way they like to get the Tories out of power.

black square Wolfie Corbyn has cost the taxpayer £3 MILLION in wages and expenses. He's about to grab considerably more in his new job as leader of Her Majesty's Loyal (in theory) Opposition.

black square The Right Hon. J. Corbyn, member of the Privy Council? How quickly the old postures are forgotten when there's a fancy title up for grabs.

black square A militant vegan as shadow Farming Minister; Captain Underpants shadowing the Leader of the House; the useless Lord Forkbender shadowing Justice; a looney left tax and grab and waster and friend of the IRA as shadow Chancellor . . . Well, if you start with dross, that's where you're bound to finish.

black square Benefits for all whether they need them or not and whether or not they've made a contribution is on the agenda if Comrade Corbyn forms a New Old Labour government.

black square Comrade Corbyn is expected to play a leading role in the Leave the EU campaign, so many a Tory will just have to hold their nose and line up with him!
His colleagues lined up to boot Corbyn up the bum until he did a U-turn on the EU. His story now is that he's going to campaign to keep Britain in, no matter what sort of deal Dave the Leader cobbles together, because being in the EU will give him more excuses for tax rises to fund a tax 'n' waste economy.

black square Corbyn Attitude Adjustment: Trident is suddenly okay.
W-Turn Alert: Corbyn is now against Trident again.

black square Corbyn's education mouthpiece is a convicted arsonist! Who, no doubt, would have us believe he has paid his debt to society.

black square PMQs will feature questions from "ordinary people" who just happen to share the views of the lefty lunatic tendency.

black square Benefits for families will be unlimited and all rents will be controlled by the State.

black square Corbyn Labour will include compulsory trolling and assaults on all political opponents and everyone who has made the effort to make some money instead of expecting the State to support them.

black square There will be noises about balancing the budget whilst a Corbyn government would print as much money as it needs to make the deficit go away. The currency will be devalued whilst National Insurance, inheritance tax and all other taxes on people who chose to work and save to pass assets on to their family will be increased.

black square Corbyn is really serious about recycling. He even compiled his party conference speech out of old scripts, which have been rejected by every Labour leader since Michael Foot in the 1980s because they are full of "them and us" crap, envious misery and other unelectable loser stuff.

black square Don't mention the deficit, immigration, Labour's election-losing policies, support for terrorists, approval of cyber-bullying and rioting and assaults on political opponents, scrapping Trident, etc., etc.


global warming sloganSomething wrong here
The Met Office has assured us that global warming will give us warmer and drier summers. So why is it so bloody cold now, even when the sun is shining? Why doesn't washing dry properly and why does it keep getting rained on? And will giving the Met Office another £100 MILLION for another super-duper computer change anything? Probably not.

global warming sloganNameless is okay
The Met Office has come up with another wonderful way to waste money: a committee to draw up a list of names for storms heading for the British Isles. It's just pointless imitation of the existing systems for giving names to hurricanes and typhoons, and it will be applied to events which don't merit the same attention.

global warming sloganDaft calculation
One worthy of the proverbial biscuit is the notion that burning all of the world's fossil fuels over a period of 500 years could melt the Antarctic ice cap and raise sea levels by 60 metres – which would take place over 10,000 years. It's never going to happen but that didn't stop some genius from wasting time on it.

global warming sloganMaybe it will, maybe it won't
Attention, anyone hoping for global warming! The Met Office is predicting a decade of colder but drier summers. So don't throw your woollies away just yet. Alternatively, nothing might happen if the temperature drop is cancelled out by El Niño or something similar. Or things might get even colder if a good volcanic eruption hurls enough ash into the skies.

world news

Daft diktat from Scottish nanny
The Scottish government's minions have drawn up a plan to ban domestic washing machines and dishwashers and force everyone to lug their washing and dishes to public washeries fitted with super-efficient appliances. No surprise that the pay-as-you-wash scheme was concocted in the name of saving the planet.

Just typical! No loot!
As soon as a brilliant story comes along, some expert will pop out of the woodwork to debunk it. Which is exactly what has happened to the Nazi gold train in Poland story. The ground-penetrating radar shots showing the alleged train have been condemned as a hoax, and a not very good one at that.

One day, you'll get it right
Wee Burney, the Scots Gnats leader, seems to have adopted an EU attitude to Scottish independence. Her nation got it wrong the first time they voted so she's looking for an excuse to do it again, and again, and again until the result goes the right way.

Political posturing backfires
Germany has room for migrants as its population is falling. So Chancellor Angular Merkat chose to open the border to them in an attempt to win some political high ground. What a shame that she had to slam them shut a few days later when the gush from the East became a tsunami. Still, you always risk looking stoopid when you go for a gesture.

Inconvenient fact
80% of the migrants arriving in Europe are not from Syria, Eurostat, the official statistical body of the European Commission has discovered. So 80% of the shroud-waving about the Syrian internal war by lefty luvvies, especially those on the BBC and most especially the lefty gits on the News Quiz, is just opportunist posturing.


Imagination overload
The headline Eurosceptic Tories Threaten Cameron in the Daily Mail conjured up delightful mental images of a mob of them surrounding Dave and threatening to give his ankles a good kicking if he doesn't buck his ideas up.

Best comment on the issue:
"MPs voted against an assisted dying bill on the day after voting closed on Labour's act of voluntary political suicide and the election of protest-professional J. do as I say, not as I do Corbyn as the leader who will unify the party."

Oor guy is more interesting than yours
J. Corbyn is dominating the news but he's just a boring member of the "We're Against It" party. But now, we have an exposé book on Dave the Leader full of drugs and debauchery. Dave is interesting!!! Well, who'd have thunk it.

Well, talk is cheap, they say
Current Liberal leader T. Farron has Steel's disease. Back in 1981, a deluded D. Steel told his party conference to prepare for government. Which turned out to be a pretty uphill climb when they collected only 17 seats in Parliament. This month, Farron (8 MPs including himself) told his party conference to prepare for power in 2020. Maybe it's the way he tells them.

black square How much is a ghost writer paid for inventing a silly story like the one about Dave the Leader and the hog's head?

Public Service Announcement

He's been called the Blogger of the Decade

His intellect is matched only by the size of his luck and the size of his bank balance. And yet he manages to keep his Feet On The Ground with the greatest of ease. Do yourself a favour and find out what Xavier has had to say about what's going on Right Now!

Crime News

No Wonder the police are hard up

Members of the Lincolnshire police farce; ones with guns; busted a carwash when some idiot told them there was a gun in plain sight. Instead of just picking up the toy and confirming that was all it was, the coppers had to take it away for examination, as per standard jobsworth procedure, and waste police time on that – and also on arranging to return the toy to its young owner.

black squareThe Greater Manchester police farce has sacked a copper who fed the control room a string of BS then gave a suspect a lift home instead of arresting him. Quel surprise!

Having blown over £1 MILLION on their investigation of a VIP child abuse club, which is alleged to have committed 3 murders, the Metropolitan police farce has come up empty. It has found no credible evidence to back up the stories from "Nick", their wonder witness, so the only thing left to do now is to blow another million on prosecuting Nick for wasting police time?

Un-Nicked II
The Metropolitan police farce has done a U-turn on its VIP paedophile ring. The chief investigator held a press conference at the start of the "investigation" to announce that all of the claims of the "witnesses" were true, even though no actual investigating had taken place. The line now is that the claims are fantasies. Which leaves us wondering what happened to the need for an impartial investigation and a search for facts. And how such gullible characters ever reached the top of the police farce.

Not happening
Cybercrime is invisible, as far as the nation's police farces are concerned. Of the 3,200,000 reported cases of online fraud, just 0.28% went to a conviction.

Home News
UK Flag

All Change
The Electoral Commission has weighed the government's EU membership referendum question in the balance and found it wanting. The "yes" or "no" response is biased in favour of the status quo, and it will have to be replaced by options to remain in the EU or leave it.

How very politically incorrect of them!
Agatha Christie's most popular book, according to a 125th birthday poll, is Ten Little Nasterisks (1939).

black square The BBC is reported to be thinking of giving the BBC 4 TV channel the chop to save money. As BBC 3 is already doomed, a much better choice would be BBC 2 as BBC 4 actually shows more quality programmes whilst BBC 2 is reduced to putting cartoons on. Alternatively, put BBC 4's content on 2 then chop 4.

black square The Trivial Democrats have promised to alleviate London's housing shortage. But how many spare rooms do 8 MPs have?

Political censorship
The BBC is in trouble again for censoring the news. An official survey found that Hitchinbrooke hospital in Cambridgeshire received the fewest customer complaints when it was being privately run by Circle. But this piece of private sector good news seems not to have been in keeping with the Beeb's leftie agenda.


Grubbing grabbers
Is there anybody working in the charity sector who is a decent human being? After the scandals of selling names to racketeers, and phone and email badgering, and stalking donors to guess what their estate will be worth, one dreads to speculate what the Daily Mail will turn up next.

An "I" for imagination
Police farces are giving emergency response vehicles to senior civilian staff as a tax dodge. Whilst they have lights and sirens, the drivers are not allowed to use the nee-nah to get themselves through traffic jams.

Fair and impartial
A sting by the Daily Telegraph and the Channel 4 program Dispatches exposed sleazy tendencies in Labour MP J. Straw and Tory MP M. Rifkind. But an investigation by the Parliamentary Commission for Standards has cleared them of wrong-doing because the stingers didn't actually solicit sleaze from the MP, they just asked what sort of sleaze they could provide.
   Now, it has emerged that Rifkind was on the panel which appointed K. Hudson to her job as head of the PCfS. How very cosy. And how strange that she failed to reveal her connection to Rifkind and step aside. We are told that everyone is shining, pristine clean and above suspicion. That's not the way it looks.

Thanks, Tone
Volkswagen faces bankruptcy and ruin over its emissions from diesel-engined cars swindle. Her opposition is trying to nail Angular Merkel and her government to the heap of sleaze as accessories. And going back a few years, it turns out that our own, dear Tony B. Liar was behind the "dash for diesel" here on spurious global warming grounds, offering tax breaks to owners of diesel-engine cars whilst doing wonders for air pollution levels.
black blob Don't worry about the big boss of VW, who got the push. He stands to walk away with €30 MILLION.

black square Why hasn't FIFA had Sepp Blatter put down?


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Far Queue List

Far Queue symbol Charlotte Proudperson, who can't accept a compliment without getting (artificially?) bent out of shape.

Far Queue symbol The gang putting on Snow White & The Seven Children at the De Montford Hall, Leicester, because kids are cheaper than adult dwarfs.

Far Queue symbol Elton John, who thought he actually had a phone call of apology from Vlad the Putin; until the hoaxers owned up.

Far Queue symbol J. McDonnell, the new Labour shadow chancellor; another friend of the IRA.

Far Queue symbolWhichever jobsworth it was, who tried to hide an RAF engineer in uniform at the casualty department of that Margate hospital, should have been sacked for objectionable conduct to encourage others.

Far Queue symbol The Looney Tunes running the students' union at East Anglia U, who have banned its members from wearing a sombrero unless they can prove they're Mexican.

Far Queue symbol “Far queue, far queue very much!” – Frank Zappa.

The Far Queue: the traditional parking place for everything "not wanted on voyage".

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Created for Romiley Anarchists' League by workers in revolt against oppression
to set the record straight in the 3rd millennium. © RAL, September MM15.