BlackFlag News
 
 2015/August 
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Please Note:
The Following presentation may contain stunts and experiments which should not be imitated – so that you never realize just how easy they are to do.

space news
 SPACE NEWS 

Something else to thank Dave for

Ethiopia which receives £300 MILLION from the UK in foreign aid, is planning to follow the example of China, India, Nigeria and Pakistan by using the cash to fund a space programme. When challenged, a DfID spokesman said: “Not a penny of British aid goes to Ethiopia’s space programme.” This is, of course, total bollocks.

 HEALTH NEWS 

Don't bother, the taxpayer will pay
A Nigerian woman came to Britain and had quins at Homerton hospital in Hackney in 2011; at a cost to the taxpayer of £145,000. The Daily Mail was able to track her down, and she said she was willing to pay the bill but the hospital hasn't asked her to; which raises two obvious questions:
    Why couldn't the hospital's finance director do the same?
    Why hasn't this finance director been sacked, without a fancy pay-off, for gross negligence in a public office?

 SHRINKAGE NEWS 

Democracy, but not as we know it, Jim
As this month ran down, Labour seemed to be on course to wipe out about one-third of its leadership voting membership of 610,000. Infiltraitors, trade unionists with two votes; the Red Ed Miller Band copped for the blame for unleashing such chaos on the party, which let him down so badly by being unelectable.

 DOSH NEWS 

No way it's a windfall
The 5p charge for supermarket plastic bags – due to be introduced in October – will do the Treasury a bit of good. The charge will include VAT worth £19 MILLION per year. Which will pay about one-six of the expenses bill for the MPs @ the House of Common Criminals.

Balance, but not as we know it, Jim
The so-called BBC is so hard-pressed to fill up its air-time on multiple channels that it is showing foreign-sourced promotional material – some bought for as little as a quid from PR companies. The viewers, of course, are not told that they are watching propaganda and advertising puff rather than something balanced and objective.

 WAR NEWS 

Yes, truth really hurts!
The North Korean regime has threatened to turn South Korea into a sea of fire if the cheeky people south of the border don't stop sending northwards, helium balloon full of leaflets mocking Kim Jong whoever.

Miserable MourinhoFirst prize . . .
. . . in the "face like a smacked bum" competition goes to J. Mourinho, manager of Chelsea, who were thrashed 3-0 by our local heroes Manchester City in their second match of the new season.
   Of course, it wasn't his fault. Nothing ever is. "Mr. Misery", no doubt, will scowl at everyone around him and carry on with his thankless task of trying to make a gang of overpaid footballing icons do something special; i.e. business as usual.

Crime News
 CRIME NEWS 

Head out of joint

The Crown Office of Scotland seems to be staffed by the same sort of people who are employed by the Can't Prosecute Service in the rest of Britain. The CO has decided that the Glasgow bin lorry driver, who fell unconscious at the wheel and killed 6 people just before Xmas of 2014, won't face a criminal prosecution over the crash. And yet, the inquiry into the incident has been told that he has a long history of fainting fits and dizziness. So what was he doing driving a bin lorry? Glasgow city council will probably have to struggle with this question when the compensation actions start.

The Cuts is the perfect alibi
It is now known that the police farce in Leicestershire hit on ignoring burglaries at odd-numbered houses as a cost-cutting scam. But what has not been revealed is what they chose to ignore at even-numbered houses to balance things out. Rape? Arson? Murder?

NPCCVirtual coppers
The head of the National Cheap Police Council, S. Thornton, thinks that the police have no need to go to the scene of a burglary. All that is necessary is for the victim of the crime to email pictures and videos showing fingerprints, footwear marks and DNA to a digital crime report. Quite how one emails DNA evidence did not appear in Ms Thornton's statement.

Killers' rights paramount
Declining to respond to FoI Act requests, the West Midlands police farce will not identify its 10 most-wanted fugitives because the farce insists that doing so would breach their 'uman bluddy right to privacy and their right not to be exposed to their fellow citizens as an evil and vicious criminal. Which highlights the on-going problem that we have no one with the power to arrest the police for being lazy and obtuse.

Useless in a government office
70% of the fines imposed on firms which employ illegal immigrants are never collected. This negligence by the Home Office has cost the taxpayer £87 MILLION over the last 6 years. PLUS all the courts costs of the pointless prosecutions.

Romiley News
ROMILEY NEWS
 

Jobs of the 21st Century

mobile valeting serviceMobile phone looking a bit scruffy or getting clogged up with crapps? No problem in Romiley. Just ring for the blue van and arrange a professional clean-up job!

"Your telephonic satisfaction is our mission", they told a BFN reporter.

world news
 WORLD NEWS 

Ignore the people, they're always wrong
The philosophy of the European Commission has been made clear by its president, J.-C. Juncket: if the people want something done then the EC must do the exact opposite to avoid being populist.

Real plastic cops
The two coppers who were sent to Magaluf by the West Midlands police farce seem to be having a grand old time. They are supposed to be helping Spanish coppers to deal with stroppy, drunken British tourists, but they are managing to get in lots of sight-seeing and taking plenty of beach time. And they knock off at 10 p.m, well before the trouble starts.

 TRAVEL NEWS 


There is nowt to worry about
Millions of economic migrants and terrorists might be swarming at Calais and wrecking Eurotunnel's fences every night but there is no cause for alarm. According to Foreign Sec. P. Hammond, the government has got a grip and everything is under control. [Is he related to the captain of the Titanic, by any chance? Ed.]

Agitators are fireproof if Lefties
The French police are claiming that British lefty luvvies living in Calais are organizing the swarms of migrants and encouraging their violent attacks on the Channel tunnel and vehicles heading for Britain. So why haven't the French police arrested these infiltraitors?

Too soft
The migrant who walked through the Channel Tunnel faces a possible 2-year gaol sentence for obstructing a train as his presence was known but he wasn't caught until he was almost at the British end. Everyone knows he's going to get away with it, of course.
   The reports of his crime added that he is still able to claim asylum. Not here's he's not. If he wanted to claim asylum, he should have done it in France, or earlier in his journey. He's not entitled to claim asylum here and he shouldn't be able to get away with that one. But we know that our milk-sop government will let him.

Simple economics
The South-West Trains £20 trip to London promotion was withdrawn on the Saturday of the VJ-Day +70 commemoration on safety grounds. The company thought that it would be a threat to profits, and that's why the WW II veterans and their escorts who travelled to London had to pay the full fare.

Promises, promises
Airport Parking Ltd., which operates at Gatwick airport, has been fined £6,000 after a prosecution by the local trading standards outfit. APL claimed it would keep vehicles in secure, monitored storage – which actually meant dumping them in a nearby field with the doors and windows left unlocked.

 CLIMATE NEWS 

global warming sloganSomething wrong here
A Beluga whale, normally a resident of Arctic regions, has been spotted cruising off Northern Ireland. This is the first time that one of the creatures has been reported so far south of its normal habitat. The director of the Seawatch Foundation gave a fall in sea temperatures as the explanation. So whatever happened to man-made global warming and the melting polar icecaps?

global warming sloganThere's a reason why they're called Swindlers
We are being told that the extent of Arctic sea ice has been in decline since satellite measurements begin in 1979, there's a "hockey stick" analogue graph showing it, and the Global Warming Swindlers would have us believe that this is proof that man-made global warming is wrecking the planet. But let us not forget that the world cooled down between the 1940s and the 1970s, and that what cools down warms up again. That's what the climate does: change, and we're still on the rebound from the last Ice Age. And most telling of all: the swindlers still don't have a handle on how the Earth's climate works, which makes their dire predictions worthless.

global warming sloganThere's a reason why they're called Swindlers Part II
The Global Warming Swindlers have been claiming for decades that man-made carbon dioxide is poisoning the oceans and killing marine life. Surprise! A major review of 465 "studies" of the effects of climate change on the oceans has found that only 27 of them were done rigorously enough to yield valid data and meaningful results. Which means that a whole lot of GWS have blown a whole lot of grant money to no purpose. Other than keeping themselves housed, fed and able to enjoy foreign holidays, of course.

Public Service Announcement

He's been called the Blogger of the Decade

His intellect is matched only by the size of his luck and the size of his bank balance. And yet he manages to keep his Feet On The Ground with the greatest of ease. Do yourself a favour and find out what Xavier has had to say about what's going on Right Now!

Home News
 HOME NEWS 
UK Flag

Hi, we're calling to make you aware of a new government scam . .
The information commissioner, C. Graham, is pursuing the automated call centres used by those involved in the nuisance cold-call industry with all the zeal of those who hunted down German V2 launch sites during the war. He has the power to fine offenders up to £500,000. Let us hope he is capable of wielding a heavy hand.

Resources gap?
Five police farces are investigating historic allegations against former PM Edward Heath and soliciting more of the same. The big question of the day is will the BBC be able to scrape together enough helicopters to cover the cosmetic dawn raids?

Keep your head down!
Here's a conspiracy theory with some grunt: according to batty Ken Livingstone, the biggest threat to J. Corbyn's Labour leadership campaign comes from the CIA death squads roaming London.

Maxwellized to death
J. Chilton, it seems, has put himself on an 8-hour week, so it's no wonder that his "inquiry" into the Iraq War is dragging on so long. He also seems to be abusing the process of Maxwellization; the right of those criticized to read material about themselves and offer rebuttal.
   Another long-running inquiry is the one into the collapse of Halifax Bank of Scotland due to the criminally reckless business practices of the management. In this shambles, Maxwellization goes in cycles, with re-Maxwellization followed by re-re- and then re-re-re-. Even though there is no legal requirement to follow this procedure.
   All of which suggests that there is a clear case for a cull of the ranks of the usual suspects who bungle such inquiries. A life ban on all public-sector jobs should be accompanied by loss of existing honours, a ban on receiving future ones, and severe curtailment of pension entitlements on lack of competence grounds.

Public Service Announcement

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Far Queue List

Far Queue symbol His legal team has been trying to mislead the world into thinking that forcing Lord Janner to make a court appearance in connection with child molestation charges would have a devastating effect on him. But on the day, he quite enjoyed his brief excursion. Which only goes to show that you should trust the words of lawyers as much as those of politicians (many of whom are lawyers, too).

Far Queue symbol Labour leadership hopeful Y. Cooper, who was famous only for her inability to make her mind up when she was a government minister, has added stupidity to her credentials. Insisting that the party should not be run by two white men, she has managed to be sexist and racialist in one small soundbite.

Far Queue symbol All those who castigated a contestant in a BBC cooking show for being posh and having a lot of cookbooks. This surely has to take pride of place as the whingeiest of irrelevant lefty whinges of the year.

Far Queue symbol “Far queue, far queue very much!” – Frank Zappa.

The Far Queue: the traditional parking place for everything "not wanted on voyage".

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to set the record straight in the 3rd millennium. © RAL, August MM15.