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Please Note:
The Following presentation may contain stunts and experiments which should not be imitated – so that you never realize just how easy they are to do.


How to have a cannabis business in Britain
The secret is to think small. If you go in for a vast pot ranch in an abandoned building, there is a chance that it will be busted. But the nation's police farces have given up on small-time operations. They have no authority to do so, but top coppers and PCCs have decided that cannabis doesn't matter any more.

Something else that doesn't matter
Sara Thornton, former chief constable and current head of the successor body to the Association of Cheap Police officers (on £252K) believes that The Cuts mean that the public can no longer expect a visit from a copper after a burglary. Presumably, the victim just emails some photographs of the wreckage to their local police farce to get a crime number for their insurance company. It is also likely that she expects all crime will be treated similarly in the future. And if there's a murder, whether or not there is a police investigation will depend on how photogenic the battered corpse is.


Just lie down and die?
For ages, we've been warned that too much sitting around leads to obesity, cancer, a bum the size of all outdoors and an early death. So it comes as no surprise to learn that a new "study" would have us believe that too much standing up causes back problems, permanent muscle damage, arthritis, heart disease and early death. Which just goes to show that you can't win. [Or maybe, you're not supposed to. Ed.]

space news

P9 encounter a success

Pluto from New HorizonsThe New Horizons probe was launched by NASA in 2006. It had to travel 3 BILLION miles to reach the 9th planet to fulfil its mission object of taking high-resolution pictures of the ninth planet, which is just a fuzzy blob to the Hubble Space Telescope.
   The spacecraft has already returned images showing structures on Pluto's surface. NASA hopes to construct stereo maps from the images from the close encounter in order to measure the height of mountains and the depth of valleys.
   Pluto's five moons will also be photographed in detail for the first time. Charon, the largest of them, has a diameter about half that of Pluto and is a very dark and gloomy place in contrast.

Pluto and Charon from New Horizons


Demokritos without the Demos
Greece is bankrupt, so what does the cosmetic government do? Waste even more cash on a cosmetic referendum, which was ignored by the Eurocrats when they fudged Greece's continuing membership of the euro (even though Greece doesn't qualify to be in it, according to the rules of membership) and continued to pretend that Greece has a hope in hell of paying off unsustainable debts. But it would require something resembling contact with reality for the Eurocrats to admit that the cash has gone irretrievably, and we all know that reality is something the EU never does.

Crime News

Long, long haul

The UK's biggest probe into child sex abuse, and cover-ups, by the Establishment will name and shame all VIP abusers. But the big question is: will anyone remember who any of these people were when the report is eventually published in about 50 years' time?

How effective is a security vetting?
In the case of Mauloud Farid, it let him work in areas involving security for HM Inspectorate of Constabulary for a couple of years whilst he was doing his evening job as a hate preacher and promoter of the Islamic Inquisition's agenda. So not very good.

We just work here
How curious that public arson is not a criminal offence in France, where that country's comic opera police just stand idly by when strikers create vast clouds of vile-smelling, toxic pollution by burning tyres.


Going nowhere
SNCF, the French railway operator, has blundered again. The geniuses running the outfit have spent millions on trains which are too tall to pass through tunnels on routes which go to Italy. As a result, passengers will have to switch to smaller trains at the border.
black blobSNCF is still chopping bits off the edges of platforms at 1,300 stations, having bought 2,000 trains which are an inch too wide to negotiate them. A mere £100 MILLION is going down that drain.

Slow to dead-stop reaction time
If you're going to have a car crash, don't do it in the Forth Valley police "service's" part of Scotland. Any survivors of the crash will need at least 3 days' supplies to keep them going until the local police can be bothered to find out what happened to them.

Official baloney beaten
The DVLA has been booted into making its online codes, which are needed for hiring a car abroad, valid for 3 weeks instead of 3 days. Common sense has won a small victory over the civil service's instinct for pointless complication.

black squareBut bananas from Tesco and you might get a bonus scorpion in the pack if you're lucky.

It will never catch on
Merchants in Cardigan are enjoying a boom time as a spin-off from an act of vandalism. Yobs in search of beer money wrecked the ticket machines in the Welsh town's 4 car parks last month. Since then, people have been flocking to the town and enjoying stress-free, free parking. And they're staying longer and spending more money, the traders are delighted to report. But it won't last. The local council is determined to waste taxpayers' money on restoring the machines and its parking charges.

Dirty tricks didn't work
Despite all the accusations of cheating on the basis of manufactured evidence and politically motivated guesswork, and the physical assaults, Chris Froome rode to his second Tour de France win, seeing off the challenges of Peruvian upstarts. Well done, and where's the knighthood?


Shame cash deployed
Memorials to victims of terrorism will be funded from fines for bank malpractice as a means of using the money for a good cause. In this particular case, is the government trying to drop a big hint?
black blobNothing as subtle as a hint – the Greek government, by holding a referendum on playing nice to be bailed out yet again, has dumped the blame for the outcome squarely on the people.

Ochi, Ochi, Ochi, Gimme, Gimme, Gimme!
The Greeks voted to end their austerity and let the capitalists further North give them more money to waste. Which left the inhabitants of the capitalist states wondering when they would get a chance to exercise their democratic right in a referendum to tell the Greek Marxists to get lost.

black squareAccording to Sepp Blatter, all the corruption and bribery at FIFA was a direct result of the hatred which the English FA has for FIFA. Sounds like he's getting desperate for a defence.

A Brown future for the NHS
At the current rate of expenditure, the NHS faces a Brown Hole £22 BILLION deep over the next 5 years. But nearly £2 BILLION/year is wasted on unnecessary surgeries, another BILLION/year on unnecessary testing and there is MASSIVE waste in the system, especially when it comes to buying necessary supplied. So all is not lost.


global warming sloganAnd so the scam goes on
The Met Office is claiming a July world record temperature of 36.7 deg.C as part of its campaign to persuade us that the world is getting hotter due to man-made global warming. But the claim is highly suspect as it is based on one single reading taken amid the sea of tarmac which is Heathrow airport; a highly artificial environment which can inflate temperature readings by up to 2 deg.C, and in an area exposed to the hot exhaust from passing jet aircraft. Meanwhile, four nearby sites recorded a maximum temperature of only 35 deg.C, which is not exceptional.

global warming sloganHottest July Day ever claim is a fraud
The Met Office has been forced to reveal that its claim of a temperature of 36.7 deg.C on the first of the month is based on a spike in the temperature graph at Heathrow airport (caused by a blast of hot air from a plane?), which is an artificial hot-spot anyway. So nothing which the Guinness Book of Records would even look at.

global warming sloganTo the other extreme
After all the bollocks we've had about man-made global warming, we now have a prediction that the 17th/18th century mini ice-age will be repeated in the 2030s due to a drop in the Sun's output. Let's see the EU stick a tax on that.

global warming sloganWhat meltdown?
The Global Warming Swindlers would have us believe that mankind is melting the Arctic ice cap and polar bears will be extinct shortly. Surprise! The Arctic ice cap is 40% BIGGER than it was 5 years ago. So much for the claim that it would disappear by 2014 made by arch GWS Al Gore. Worse, the amount of Antarctic ice is at its greatest since the survey of 1979.


The Beeb does not make value judgements
The BBC is insisting on maintaining strict impartiality when dealing with the Islamic Inquisition operating in Iraq, Syria and elsewhere. In the eyes of the director general and his managers, the Islamistas are as legitimate a regime as any national government, ours included, and so cannot be tarnished by labels like "terrorists".
black blobThat impartiality doesn't apply to the Beeb itself, of course. Which is why the 29 luvvies who signed a letter of protest to the prime monster aren't concerned citizens, who were worried about that Dave will do to cut the Beeb down to size. No, the whole thing was organized by BBC bosses and the luvvies were lobbying for their own inflated salaries and perks. So just the usual naked self-interest, then.

Damage limitation
The RSPCA has decided to stop prosecuting fox hunters for political reasons because it is having an adverse effect on income. Hundreds of thousands of pounds have been wasted on pointless political stunts for the gratification of the management, and the society's reputation has suffered greatly because of it.
   Embracing the Great Global Warming Swindle is also playing a part. Questions are being asked about why the society has nothing to say about either wind farms, which kill hundreds of thousands of birds and bats, or the use of forest-destroying biomass fuel for electricity generation instead of cheaper fossil fuels.

Off you go and don't come back
Britain's former counter-terrorism boss has come up with an interesting solution to domestic jihadis. He thinks that if they surrender their passport, they should be put on a charter flight to Syria and allowed to join the Islamic Inquisition as an alternative to festering here and using up the resources of the security services.

Lest we forget
20 years on from the massacre of 8,000 Bosnians by Serbs @ Srebrenica, the Serb PM had the brass neck to turn up to a memorial service for the victims of the worst atrocity in Europe since World War II. A. Vucic and his hangers-on seemed quite surprised to be greeted with bottles, stones and derision, which forced them to beat a hasty retreat.
black blobThe town was supposed to have been a UN safe haven at the time of the massacre, but the Dutch "peace-keeping" troops deployed there were as useful as a box of chocolate thermometers.

Romiley News

Way cooler up north

This month might have started scorchio in the south of England but Romiley on the "hottest day" was a bit breezy and there was a fair amount of cloud around at times – more than enough to get the residents scoffing at the "30" parked on the BBC weather map next to Manchester. And there was thunder and lightning when it got dark. So no buckled railway lines and no one collapsing in the streets.

Home News
UK Flag

Another excuse for not teaching
Schools have been given the job of rummaging through the lunchboxes of their customers in search of allegedly unhealthy items. Such items must be confiscated but returned to the pupil at the end of the day with a note from the teacher, which wastes even more of the school day. Education Sec. N. Morgan is being asked why she is indulging in New Labour-style gimmicks of the sort which would never have been contemplated when Michael Gove was in charge.

Bonfire time
The government's official figures show child poverty (a highly dodgy, all things relative calculation) has reached its lowest level since the 1980s. So why are the quangocrat UK Children's Commissioners for the 4 countries telling the UN that benefit reform is increasing it? Here are four New Labour logs for the fire.

Catch 22 in action
Mobile phone network operators are blaming poor quality signals on trees near their masts. The trees have too many radio signal-blocking leaves. Why are many of the trees there? Because local authorities insisted they be planted to hide ugly phone masts. Things will be better in the autumn. Maybe.


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world news

The EuroMonster shows its true colours
As soon as the Greeks started talking about democracy and a referendum on enough austerity to stay in the euro, the shutters came down further north. There's nothing the Eurocracy hates more than a government asking its voters what they think because the people have a euroshocking habit of making the eurowrong decision.

The swindle is over
A further £12 BILLION has been extorted from BP to close the fallout from the Deepwater Horizon oil rig disaster in 2010, bringing the total bill to £35 BILLION. The aftermath of the explosion on the rig and the release of oil into the Gulf of Mexico was one of the most shameful episodes in President O'Bummer's lacklustre career.
   O'Bummer sought to deflect attention from his regime's regulation failures and the parts played by the American firms involved [Halliburton, defective seabed cementing, Transocean, owned the rig] by pretending that BP was 100% British owned (40% American owned) and a foreign company which had launched a deliberate attack on the United States.
   He also allowed the American courts to make compensation awards to individuals and companies, which had not been affected by the oil spill, encouraging extortion on a truly Russian scale.

Surprise! EU "resolve" crumbles
The European Council boss has gone soft on Greek debt to avoid the humiliation of that country's exit from the euro. The EU's management conspired with the Greek regime at the time to lie about the state of the economy to get Greece into the euro. Letting Greece tumble out of the euro would expose the lack of morals at the top of the EU, and we could never have that! So what if BILLIONS of euros go down the Greek bog-hole? Appearances is all that counts in Europe, now and forever more.

Public Service Announcement

He's been called the Blogger of the Decade

His intellect is matched only by the size of his luck and the size of his bank balance. And yet he manages to keep his Feet On The Ground with the greatest of ease. Do yourself a favour and find out what Xavier has had to say about what's going on Right Now!

Far Queue List

Far Queue symbol Twat of the Month: the Tory Welsh Assembly member D. Millar, who asked an official question about the numbers of alien spaceships seen at Cardiff airport. Showing how seriously the question was taken, the civil servant who got the job of composing a reply chose to do it in Klingon.

Far Queue symbol M. Whelan, boss of the rail union Asleep, who would like us to believe that the government is forcing him to exist on the minimum wage rather than his £122K plus perks.

Far Queue symbolThe gang of demented luvvies, who are claiming that the BBC is the envy of the world. Really?

Far Queue symbol The Scottish Nasty Party, which claimed in February that it had a policy of not voting on matters which affect only England. Well, what a load of hogwash that turned out to be! It seems the promise is just something which can be junked when the Nasties are after revenge for not having every little demand satisfied. Scottish votes for Scottish issues, but no equivalent for England. How petty.

Far Queue symbol London Mayor and MP B. Johnson, who blew £330K of taxpayers' cash on 3 obsolete German water-cannon, which Home Sec. T. May has banned from use on the streets of the capital.

Far Queue symbol Conwy county council has decided that banning people from feeding seagulls would infringe the religious rights of some of its residents. Total bollocks, of course, but that's the council mentality for you.

Far Queue symbol Sepp Blatter is clinging to his job as FIFA boss until he has put an integrity test in place to prevent further corruption. Let us hope he hasn't given himself the job of concocting the integrity test.

Far Queue symbol Berko, who spent £170 of taxpayers' money on a half-mile taxi ride.

Far Queue symbol The coke-snorting Bliar-crony who's in charge of the Standards Committee at the House of Frauds.

Far Queue symbol “Far queue, far queue very much!” – Frank Zappa.

The Far Queue: the traditional parking place for everything "not wanted on voyage".

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Created for Romiley Anarchists' League by workers in revolt against oppression
to set the record straight in the 3rd millennium. © RAL, July MM15.