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 2014/September 
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Public Service Advice: For maximum comprehension, customers are advised to read our words from left to right and in the order in which they are presented. Please keep your eyes open whilst reading or you might miss something.

 SPY NEWS 

Apple phones contain a hidden spying device, which tracks and records the owner's movements, and makes them available to the CIA and other unfriendly organizations.

 FOOD NEWS 

Cheap and extra nasty
The big supermarkets are squeezing their suppliers again, so we are heading back to horseburgers and lamb takeaway meals, which have never been anywhere near a sheep. So much for onward and upward, and lessons have been learnt.

Do they think we've forgotten what they did already?
How sad that Labour politicians were taking a pop at the management of Tesco for fiddling the books when their party spent 13 years in office doing exactly the same thing. But at least the Tesco fiddlers left a viable business behind, unlike the wrecked British economy which was Labour's legacy.

Not horse, but not what's on the label
Tesco supermarkets may well be considering relabelling their packs of burgers and sausages as prestige multi-meat products after the venison burgers were found to contain 30% lamb and the beef sausages were also found to contain bonus amounts of chicken, turkey and pork.

 WEIRD VIEWS 

There's a product being advertised on TV, at a magnificent £19.99 a go, which is called the Tone Tee. Apparently, it's some sort of corset which looks like a tee-shirt, which will let a poseur go to the gym and pretend that he has been working out because his floppy bits are suitably corsetted.

 BANKSTER NEWS 

BIG money
The Royal Bank of Scotland, Barclays, HSBC, Citigroup, JPMorgan and UBS (of Switzerland) are in line for fines totalling $3,500,000,000 for rigging the international foreign exchange market. But the good news is that no banksters will go to gaol.

Crime News
 CRIME NEWS 
Mafia MacEye writes:
All in the public interest, natch

Prosecuting "hairy cornflake" BBC DJ Dave Lee Travis has been very profitable for the police, the legal trade and all involved in the court system. Together, they've made over £1,000,000 of taxpayers' cash out of it.

No wonder the public no longer trusts the police
Brett & Naghmeh King took their dying son out on an NHS hospital because they wanted to seek specialized treatment for him in either the Czech Republic or the United States. But when the family went to Spain to sell a villa to pay for the treatment, Hampshire police issued a dodgy international arrest warrant and the Kings ended up in separate gaols 300 miles from their son.
The CPS has been shamed into cancelling the International Arrest Warrant issued against the Kings at the demand of the Hampshire police. No action will be taken against the wielders of the heavy hands by the Dept. of Health or the Min. of Justice, of course, as common sense, common decency and humanity are not requirements for life in the public sector.
NHS England has been shamed into paying the £60,000 treatment cost to avoid further bad publicity and damage to careers.

No wonder the public no longer trusts the police II
Scotland Yard's report on the Plodgate stitch-up to get Tory chief whip A. Mitchell sacked reveals "industrial" levels of dishonesty in the ranks of the diplomatic protection group, the outfit which "guards" Downing Street. 4 coppers were sacked; one of them went to gaol; but there is no evidence that this politically motivated culture of dishonesty no longer prevails.

Not a wise choice
Another police "service" will investigate the role of Rotherham council and the local coppers in the politically correct racialist cover-up of child abuse by Asians gangs there. Which raises the obvious question of whether the police are capable of doing an honest and competent investigation job.

Another unwise choice
The government has entrusted teaching the new, more rigorous curriculum to teachers who didn't learn good grammar or how to use punctuation at school themselves because of the trendy lefty, anti-learning philosophy imposed by the teaching unions over the last 40-odd years.

The Home Office has lost track of 175,000 illegal immigrants.

No shame
South Yorkshire's Police and Crime Panel has asked the Home Sec. for powers to remove their Police & Crime Commissioner, S. Wright, who is refusing to resign despite his part in the 16 years of child abuse allowed by the police and the council to happen in the Rotherham area. The Panel has already passed a motion of no confidence in Wright.

Invisible crime
Banks and the police are conspiring to conceal the true extent of phone and online fraud, which is now running at a rate of £72 MILLION per year. The police don't want to know about this type of crime and the banks are blaming customers instead of their own poor security systems.

space news
 SPACE NEWS 

Ungrateful bunch

British taxpayers have paid for a satellite, which was launched by India and which went into orbit around Mars this month. The Mangalyaan orbiter will look for methane in the geology and atmosphere of the Red Planet.
The Indian Space Research Agency has yet to issue a statement of gratitude to the British public, who pay for all of its activities.

Hello, the future!
NASA has issued an invitation to the public worldwide to send in short messages and images via social media. The pick of the crop will be stored in a time-capsule, which will be launched on the OSRIS-REx probe in 2016, which will attempt a sampling mission to the asteroid Bennu in 2019. NASA wants "best guesses" about what will happen in the field of space exploration over the next decade, and the public will be given the opportunity to laugh at the guesses if the probe makes it back to Earth in 2023.

Another mystery solved
Evidence of plate tectonic activity has been found in images of Jupiter's icy moon Europa taken by the Galileo in the previous decade. The surface of the moon, which is nearly as big as Earth, shows evidence of new terrain being created; similar to the process of sea-floor spreading at mid-ocean ridges on Earth; but no one has been able to explain where the old material goes. Until now. Researchers in the United States now believe that they have found a subduction zone, complete with ice volcanoes on the over-riding plate, near the moon's north pole.

 POST-ELECTION THREATS 

Labour's next BIG PLAN for wasting taxpayers' cash
Everyone in the public sector will be required, at vast expense to the taxpayer, to reveal what their parents did for a living (if anything) in order to identify which of them are genuine working class, and which are middle-class infiltrators or the sons of millionaire caviare commies, like Red Ed. The infiltrators will be eligible for the sack without compensation in the interests of socialist manipulation.
Are there enough smokers left in Labour circles to provide the fag packets for drafting similar daft, money-wasting ideas for the election manifesto?

What the Looney Left has in store
Red Ed has a 10-year plan for re-wrecking the economy. The Balls Monster has more Tesco accounting on offer, and he's still refusing to admit his part in wrecking the economy when he was New Labour. Tony B. Liar wants to send our troops to fight the BBC's militants in Syria and Iraq. And there's the crap above about people who aren't working class being put to the bottom of the list of applicants for public sector jobs unless their name is Miliband, Blair, Straw, Kinnock, etc. etc.
But there is some good news: Two Jags wants to repeal the Breakfast Tax.

What do you expect from the Milibandits?
The Mansion Tax has been exposed as a scam. It's all a plot to move money from London to Scotland where, surprise!, there are lots of Labour voters. The bad news for the scroungers, however, is that after running costs and suppressed house prices, the tax will be lucky to break even, never mind raise £2.5 BILLION.

Red Ed wants to give the vote to 16-year-old kids because only they can appreciate his childish policies.

No thanks to the EU

Romiley News
ROMILEY NEWS
 

Despite "The Cuts" . . .
Greater Manchester Police managed to blow £67,000 on foreign travel last year. Who went where is top secret to avoid embarrassment to the cheap constabule and the crime commish.
As GMP increased its Council Tax demand this year, we're bracing ourselves for even rasher jaunting this year.

 BACKLASH NEWS 

Interesting stats
Some 58% of voters think Scottish MPs should not vote on legislation affecting only England and Wales. Which means that 42% think that it's okay. Presumably, these are Labourites and Liberals, who think democracy can be switched off when it suits their interest, and the Don't Cares.

The next fights
To prevent Labour from chopping England into EU-style regions to create more layers of wasteful and useless bureaucracy.
To tell the Scots that if they want something, they have to use their tax-raising powers to pay for it and stop demanding subsidies from England.


Scottish Referendum result:
   46.7% voted NO
   37.7% voted YES
   15.6% Didn't Care
The United Kingdom was not Untied by posturing and thuggish Salmonistas.

Let us not forget who caused the whole independence shambles. It was Wee Gordy Broon and other Scottish MPs, who insisted on a Scottish parliament. And the Tony B. Liar regime, which ignored the West Lothian Question.
Some of us would like to know how much the Scottish referendum cost and how much of the total the Scots will be paying, if any of it?
Will A. Salmonella be hauled before the International Court of Justice to face charges of hate crimes against the English?
Is Gordon Broon is planning to change his name to Devo Craxhead and become the all-party meenister for subsidy junkies?


Oh, dear, how sad, never mind.


 USELESSNESS NEWS 

Abject surrender
The nation's police "services", reduced to PC wimpitude by Labour policies, have admitted defeat by another New Labour policy. They are unable to contain the epidemic of boozed-up yobbism generated by Tony B. Liar's 24-hour-drinking culture. All they can do is stand on the sidelines and beg, "Please stop it!" when the yobs get noisy.

You're on your own but paying for it
Attention all victims of car theft, criminal damage, burglary, etc.!
HM Inspectorate of Constabulary advises you that your best hope of redress is to investigate the crime yourself because your local police "service", which is paid to do the job, won't.
   The Association of Cheap Police Officers has decided that the way forward involves switching from actual investigation of crimes at the crime-scene to desk-based investigation. The former offers a slight chance that the crime might be solved. The latter amounts to no more than recording that a member of the public made a complaint and nothing further in the way of action. This is favoured by ACPO as it doesn't cost much.

More 'uman rights BS
The Northern Ireland Sec., T. Villiers, sez naming the people who received "get out of gaol free" letters from the Bliar regime would breach their 'uman right not to be exposed as a terrorist. Which is yet another example of the Establishment taking the side of the IRA.
The Coalition is reluctant to bomb the Moslemist killer "militants" in Iraq and Syria because the Liberals are worried that it might infringe their 'uman right to kill people unabated.

Keep on giving, folks.
50% of the aid sent to Africa ends up in illegitimate bank accounts in London or Switzerland. That's $10 BILLION per year that stolen. And 85% of the rest is wasted on projects the locals don't want or can't maintain after the NGO gang pushes off elsewhere.

Surprise!
The brilliant idea of installing 53 million "smart" electricity meters will be a huge waste of money. Many will be obsolete before they're installed and their cost will be double any savings which households can expect to make. If, indeed, they are able to save anything. So yet another Green Deal exposed as a swindle.

Something else to thank the EU for
The house building trade is suffering from a lack of bricks as a direct result of the loss of confidence caused by the Brown Slump. There's also a shortage of thermal blocks, which has been caused by the EU. The blocks are made from fly-ash, the by-product of coal-burning power stations, which the EU has forced governments to shut down.

BBC Trust in short supply
The government's replacement for BBC boss C. Patten is one of 90 HSBC directors, who are being sued over the bank's money-laundering activities for drug dealers. The bank was fined $1.2 billion by the US government and shareholders want the directors who presided over this episode of major criminality to pay the fine.

Technology for the masochist
Buy a cellphone from Apple and you'll get a gadget which bends like a slab of toffee and gets software "updates" which make it unuseable. Apart from that, the products are brilliant.

 CLIMATE NEWS 

global warming sloganPublicity Deficit Syndrome
Labour MP A. Whitehead (Southampton Test) would like car ownership abolished so that everyone is forced to use public transport.
He is a member of the House of Commons Global Warming Swindle Committee, and he may be presumed not to be in touch with the real world (apart from the usual politician's hunger for attention).
The policy would put the nation at the mercy of the transport unions, which are among Labour's paymasters, but there's no political bias in it, of course.

global warming sloganYou pay more, you get less
The amount of electricity supplied to the national grid from wind farms dropped by 20% in the period March to May this year despite a 20% increase in the number of active turbines between July 2013 and June 2014.

 HEALTH NEWS 

'Elf & Safety Announcement
Attention Yorkshire residents: If you are planning to have an accident toward the end of the year, please manage to have it when the sun is shining as the local NHS management is investing in solar-powered ambulances, which will not work if it's cloudy or raining.

Another U-Turn
"Experts" have been blaming too much salt in the diet for high blood pressure. Now, a gang of them has decided that salt is innocent and sugar is the real villain. Worse, reducing the daily salt intake doesn't prevent obesity, it actually encourages it!
   The only problem with all this is that the sheer number of U-turns made by the "experts" reduces their credibility to zero, or even less.

 TRAVEL NEWS 


Brain in neutral. Again.
Luton airport was closed down, 2,000 people were evicted from the buildings, 13 flights were diverted elsewhere and a further 50 were cancelled because the staff thought a set of hair straighteners in a passengers hand luggage might be a bomb. So they had it blown up. Roads in the surrounding area were closed and the whole shambles rattled on for the best part of 4 hours.
The airport's management also asked for a squadron of tanks but they failed to arrive in time to cause further disruption.

 DOSH NEWS 
Farqi Nell writes:

No contest
Labour's business secretary candidate, Chunka Umunna, has been derided for not knowing the price of a first-class stamp. But he's an MP, so he never has to buy one. He just lets one of his minions put envelopes through the franking machine in his office and lets the taxpayer pay.

Hands out of pockets
The government plans to get charities out of the political campaigning field, a trend which was accelerated by Wee Gordie Broon, who changed the rules to let his former minions migrate to the charity sector to continue to push Labour policies by stealth at public expense.

Noise and fury, signifying nothing
MPs' salaries are to go up by 10% despite weaselly words from the leaders of the main political parties. Dave the Leader is blaming the outrage on whoever made Mr. Ya Boo Sucks the head of the Independent Parliamentary Standards Authority.

A Brownian Gesture
Labour business mouthpiece, Chunky Ummuna, is trying to buy friends in the trade unions and the legal trade. He wants to scrap the refundable fees introduced by the Coalition to reduce frivolous and vexatious cases at employment tribunals. His strings are being pulled by the TUC's management and the lawyers, who are being deprived of billions of pounds of taxpayers' money.

Wee Gordie Broon's answer to Scottish de-Unionization is more bribes with other people's money. Plus ça change . . .

The theme song for the day on September 18th will be "Goodby-ee" as performed by Dudley Moore and Peter Cook.

Salmond's Law
The higher the Yes lobby rises in the polls, the lower the £ and share prices sink, and the bigger the bribe Gordon Brown offers to the Scots out of other people's pockets.

Strangely absent
You don't see much of the Wonga puppets and their 6,000% APR loans on TV any more. Could be they're keeping their heads down and letting the business go to rivals who charge a mere 1,400% for their loans.

He's a politician

He wants to be the first president of post-Union Scotland
He'll tell you anything to get there
He'll tell you everything will be wonderful if he's in charge
It's naive to think he'll tell the truth

He's a politician – they don't get the truth

 JUST WONDERING 

How come there is no Board of Sheriffs of British Jews?

The politics of being a top cop
Sir H. Orde, the president of ACPO, has come out in true his political colours by taking a pop at HM Inspectorate of Constabulary's report, which exposed the police practice of telling people to investigate their own crimes.
   Orde blames non-policing on "government cuts" without mentioning that there's no money because Labour wasted it all and drove the country deep into debt. And he also fails to mention that the police can always find plenty of resources for things like putting 20 coppers around the embassy of Ecuador in case J. Assange pokes his nose out, sending a gang of coppers to spend 5 hours rummaging around at Sir Cliff Richard's home and attempting to fit up stars of yesteryear on "historical" (and evidence-free) molestation charges.
   Further, all 43 police services in England and Wales had their budget reduced, but 6 of them actually manage to do the job they're paid for. Which leaves us wondering if maybe Mr. Orde should be finding out what they're doing right and passing it on to the rest of the Cheap Police Officers represented by his Association instead of sounding off uselessly.

Self-interest Rulz, OK!
Will next year's general election be put off for a year if the Scots vote to de-Unionize? One consequence of not postponing it could be a Milibandit zombie Looney Labour regime, which loses its authority after 10 months. Insiders say that Red Ed is strongly in favour of wasting the time and money involved in staging the general election next year if it lets him put former British prime monster on his CV.

How did that man of the people Red Ed Milibandit manage to buy a £1.6 million house five years ago? [It's now worth £2.6 million. Ed.] And does he really think he can do a credible job of reviving the politics of envy when he's obviously a caviar commie rather than someone with whom the ordinary, envious Labourite can identify?

Public Service Announcement

He's been called the Blogger of the Decade

His intellect is matched only by the size of his luck and the size of his bank balance. And yet he manages to keep his Feet On The Ground with the greatest of ease. Do yourself a favour and find out what Xavier has had to say about what's going on Right Now!

world news
 WORLD NEWS 

A great choice for the job. (not)
There has been a surge in support of a de-Unioned Scotland after rejected prime monster Wee Gordie Broon decided to take an active part in the NO campaign.
   Polls taken at the beginning of the month put the professed NO vote down at 53% and the YES vote up to 47%. The Scots are clearly afraid that The Man Who Stole Your Pension might stage a come-back and steal even more from them.
   p.s. What happened to the Don't Knows was not revealed.

A greater threat to freedom and public safety
than all the armed Islamists in the world

The extremists in Brussels have banned vacuum cleaners with a power rating of more than 1,600 Watts. Other household appliances will get the same treatment as the power-crazed burrocrats seek to control more and more aspects of the lives of their innocent victims. As usual, Global Warming is the excuse for meddling.

Believe it or what
GQ magazine has either gained a sense of humour or it is truly desperate for publicity. The magazine has nominated Tony B. Liar as its philanthropist of the year.
   The sudden prominence of New Labour old lags is giving rise to rumours that they think that all should be forgiven now for things like starting foreign wars for their own profit, wrecking the economy, etc., and they should now be in line for an earldom, as was custom and practice in former times.

Definitely cases of brain stuck in neutral
You have to wonder about the mental capacity of the "celebs", who put naked pictures of themselves on some online storage in the sky site, and expect them not to be hacked.

Public Service Announcement

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Now going into its second decade on the World Wide Web – a brilliant resource exposing Nigerian-type 419 scams, bogus lotteries & job offers, phishing attempts, next-of-kin scams, scams involving loot from foreign wars and much, much more!
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Home News
 HOME NEWS 
UK Flag

It's government policy, it's not meant to make sense!
The government is sacking 20,000 soldiers, who know how to do their jobs, whilst recruiting trainees, who don't know how to do the jobs, and reservists, who will work out more expensive to employ than regular troops. Why? Because that's what governments do: waste money on daft policies.

The latest plan for schools
The government has geared up primary school teachers to pass on the art of computer programming to their charges. This is an element of a plan for tackling the hacker gap between Britain and China.

Dunkirk moment for Berko
The Squeaker of the House of Common Criminals has been obliged to put on hold, his plan to impose an unqualified Aussie dinner lady as the Clerk of the House. The prime monster has been sitting on Berko's recommendation following mucho muttering in the ranks. Berko is pretending that the pause for consideration is his idea, but fooling no one.

Dead in the water
The new school curriculum, which emphasizes good grammar and the use of punctuation, is likely to be sabotaged by defective teachers, many of whom never learnt to do either at school thanks to trendy lefty teaching notions pushed by the anti-education teaching unions.

Staying on message
The Charity Commission is taking an interest in the Tony B. Liar Faith Foundation following whistle-blowing complaints that he keeps poking his nose in, when he's supposed to be a hands-off kind of guy, and the outfit has a big budget for PR work on behalf of the Glorious Leader.

 WAR NEWS 
Dubja Bomber writes:

Just a thought
If Ukraine is Russia's Sudetenland, then Poland has to be next on Putin's list for an invasion if he's re-enacting World War 2.

Pocket assault
Human rights lawyers are preparing a class action against the management of the European Commission in response to the arbitrary ban on high-power vacuum cleaners on spurious environmental grounds. Mr. Rumpy-Pumpy and his minions will be held personally (and financially) responsible for depriving those who wish to purchase the banned appliances of their 'uman right to cleanliness (which is next to godliness).

Doubt to certainty
If the conspiracy theorists are right and N. Rosberg donated the lead to L. Hamilton in the Italian Grand Prix on the orders of his team, he still owes Hamilton more points – either 18 or 11 left over from the Rosberg Manoeuvre episode. Proof that there was a conspiracy will be there if Rosberg rolls over two or three times more.

Nothing quick and simple
The government expects the war with the BBC's militants in Iraq and Syria to last 3 years or more, assuming Labour gets on-side when the party's instinct seems to be to support any and every cause which is anti-British.

 DUSTBIN DEPT. 

South Yorkshire's Police & Crime Commissioner, S. Wright, who was a councillor in charge of Rotherham's children's services during half a decade of the child abuse scandal created there by the council and the local police, has finally been forced to quit his job in disgrace. The local Police and Crime Panel had already passed a motion of no confidence in him and applied to the Home Office for powers to remove him. Wright is now playing the victim card on his own behalf.
 


If the Scots vote YES!! . . .

 REFERENDUM VIEWS 
The problem isn't the 'effin Tories, it's 'effin Dave.
[& Mr. SNPeevish Jim Sillyass. Ed.]

Sadly, Yobs Do Rule
It’s a great shame that Scotland is allowing ill-mannered separatists to rampage unchecked and use extremist tactics against anyone who dares to suggest that they’d be worse off if they left the Union. Smear campaigns by the Gnats are par for the course, just following the Labour tradition, but the equivalent of Brownshirts running riot shouldn’t be. About the only thing we can be grateful for is that they don't have guns, like their counterparts in Ukraine, Iraq and Syria.
   No doubt there will be riots and looting when the referendum vote goes against the terrorist faction, and demands for an EU-style re-run until the people vote the right way. But hey, maybe we can persuade President O’Bummer to divert a couple of drones from Iraq to bomb the jihadists in Scotland a bit.

It’s what they do
Setting Scotland up as an independent country will waste billions of pounds of taxpayers' money. But wasting other people's money is never a problem for politicians hoping to grab a slice of the pie for themselves.

At last, a good reason to vote YES!!
If it happens, there will never again be a Looney Left Labour government in England!!

First Among Fans
North Korea will be one of the first foreign nations to set up an embassy in de-Unioned Scotland. Their fearless and generous leader, Kim Jong-un, feels a special affinity to his gnat counterpart, according to reports.

Another a good reason to vote YES!!
The rump of the UK will be entitled to a 9% reduction in its contribution to the EU after the Scots leave the Union!!

The average life expectancy in the rump will go up if the Scots log out on the Union.

The cost of postage in England and Wales will fall if Scottish subsidies are removed.

So will the price of food in supermarkets.

If Scotland goes independent, Scottish athletes will no longer be eligible to train in England at English taxpayers' expense.

Now, here's something frightening!
Wee Gordie Broon is threatening to storm out of his lurking place in the political shadows and stand for the Scottish Parliament and become its leader when Labour wins the next Scottish election. He's reported to be peeved about all the lies told by the Gnats' leader, A. Salmonella, especially the one about the Westminster Parliament privatizing the NHS in Scotland when control of the Scottish NHS has already been passed to the Scottish government.
Having told many a whopper himself, Mr. Broon is an expert at spotting them.

SNP reveals fascist credentials
Any business in Scotland which backs the NO vote will be nationalized/boycotted by the Gnats? So much for the democratic right to choose.

Dodgy vs Dodgier
The Gnats, strangers to the truth themselves, are moaning that the BBC is doing biased coverage of the Yes referendum campaign. But it would be remarkable only if the Beeb wasn’t showing bias, given its institutional Looney Left leanings. And the Gnats must be particularly dim if they haven’t spotted that Nick Robinson, the alleged political correspondent, is a Labour party apologist.

When Scotland leaves us, will we become Less Britain rather than Great Britain?

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