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 2014/August 
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Just a thought, but whatever happened to that toy windmill that Dave the Leader wanted to strap to his £5 million home in Notting Hill when he had Green Crap Disease?

Commonwealth Games fall-out
Most of the African athletes have disappeared into the Glasgow Underground to avoid having to return to places like Sierra Leone, which is becoming increasingly infested with the lethal ebola virus.

+ + + Baroness Warsi flounces out of Cabinet + + + Sez it's over govt. doing nothing about Israeli slaughter of civilians in Gaza + + + Actually, just throwing toys out of pram coz Dave the Leader didn't make her Foreign Sec. in recent reshuffle + + +

+ + + Is Boris Johnson the Tories' Miliband Millstone in waiting? + + + BORIS BACKLASH get in line here + + +

Would you want a Farage in your Garage?
It appears that D. Carswell, former Tory MP for Clacton in Essex would. And so would around 8 other current Tory MPs.

Who caused the problem in the first place?
Labour's education mouthpiece, T. Hunt, is moaning about large classes in primary schools. He obviously hasn't realized that his party's policy of trawling the world for migrants, hoping they'd vote Labour, and his party's failure to tackle the resulting infrastructure problems, and his party's success at busting the economy, caused the overcrowding and he should be directing his moans at Tony B. Liar & Co. and not HMG.

The BIGGER the LIE and the more often it's repeated, the more people will believe it is now the official Liberal election manifesto.

The latest excuse . . .
. . . for not getting a GCSE A* is that it's sacked Education Sec. M. Gove's fault for ending Labour's grade inflation and not a product of inferior teaching and a failure to do enough work.

Vanishing trick
The Office for National Statistics claims, in its annual Crime Survey of England and Wales, that there were 7.3 MILLION crimes committed last year. But that ignores 4 MILLION cases of credit card and banking fraud. So maybe the ONS should be renamed the ONLS – The Office for New Labour-style Statistics.

Sadly, the public sector is institutionally racialist
One of our correspondents asks: Will there be charges of criminal racialism brought against the members and officers of Rotherham council, who covered up sexual abuse of schoolgirls by gangs of immigrants from Pakistan for 16 years? It's as unlikely as charges being brought against the police officers and CPS stooges who joined in the conspiracy.

Lessons? Ha!
The only thing we can be sure of about the cover-up at Rotherham is that lessons will not be learnt. Lessons are never learnt in the public sector. And the same blind eyes will be turned whenever or wherever Labour needs the Asian vote. Or the vote of any other immigrant group.

 ANGUSMANDERING 

Historical repeats
When the Coalition took office, it had to deal with a civil service which had been stocked with New Labour stooges. And when Labour wins the next Scottish election, after the Gnats' Union-busting junket flops, it will be confronted with an inferior Scottish civil service packed with Scots Gnats stooges. Best of luck, guys!

 F1 NEWS 

Deliberate German bad driving?
German driver puts British driver out of the race and ends up winning the Formula One Championship. M. Schumacher did it to Damon Hill quite shamelessly in 1994. Looks like N. Rosberg managed the same by putting Lewis Hamilton out of the Belgian Grand Prix, but much more sneakily. And, no doubt, he wasn't bovvered by all the boos he got on the podium.

world news
 WORLD NEWS 

A view from the Antipodes
The Aussie prime monster, T. Abbott, finds it hard to see how the world would be helped by a de-unioned Scotland. Perhaps someone should tell him it's all about A. Salmonella's ego and nothing to do with benefitting the world.

Chocolate is good for you!
French manufacturers of chocolate and pastry products are up in arms over their government's plan to colour-code labels on food products to promote healthy eating. "Chocolate doesn't make you fat", insists the Confederation of Chocolate and Pastry Makers, who are worried about the effect on sales of the red labels, which their products would attract.

Ferrari International Assistance
When the other cars set of on the parade lap before the Belgian Grand Prix, Fernando Alonso's mechanics were still messing about with his car. And all he got for that gross violation of safety rules was 5-seconds added on to a routine pit stop. And yet, they say Ferrari doesn't get special treatment. Just how dumb do they think we are?

It's only taxpayers' cash
The American taxpayer has shelled out $45 MILLION for President O'Bummer's family holidays and travels around the world since he was elected. The Guinness Book of Records is on stand-by for an update to the "Most Expensive President" category when he's booted out of the White House after completing his 8 years.

What we need is more Mexicans, not Mexican'ts.

space news
 SPACE NEWS 

Super in the skies

If Weather Control permits clear skies, this month will be the middle of 3 during which the "Supermoon" phenomenon will be observed. The Moon will be at its closest approach to the Earth and it will appear to be anything up to three times its normal size – mainly due to optical illusion rather than the slightly closer proximity. The effect is best seen when the full Moon is closest to the horizon @ the second weekend of the month.

10 years getting there!
The European Space Agency spacecraft Rosetta has finally reached its intended destination; the comet 67P Churyumov-Gerasimenko, which looks like either the result of a collision between 2 smaller comets or very peculiar erosion, which has created 2 distinct lobes.
   The comet is currently half-way between the planets Jupiter and Mars. The spacecraft will follow the comet on its next approach to the Sun and it will place a lander on the comet's surface. The object of the mission is to observe how a comet works as it sling-shots around the Sun.

Thinking ahead, with brain switched off
The British government has decided that it needs spaceports. At least eight of them and probably more. And up to 6 of them will be in Scotland. There are no spaceships currently available to use any of them, apart from those belonging to alien invaders, of course. But hey! When have inconvenient facts ever stopped the government of the day from blowing vast quantities of taxpayers' cash on something totally useless?

Does anyone really care that there's an asteroid with a 1 in 300-2,200 chance of hitting the Earth in 2880? If the human race is unable to deflect asteroids eight centuries from now, it deserves to be wiped out!

 WORDS OF C21 

RONMOIC — messed-up even for someone with the IQ of a house brick.
As in: "This is a particularly ronmoic policy from a political party which has lost all sense of direction and decency."

 DOSH NEWS 
Farqi Nell writes:

Unexpected consequences
Ofgem called in the Competition & Markets Authority to investigate excessive profits, overcharging and lack of competition in the energy market. The preliminary conclusion is that Ofgem is to blame for incompetent framing and application of its regulations during the New Labour era.

The spirit of Wee Gordie Broon lives on, or Theft is Theft, however you tart it up
The geniuses at HMRC (props. D. Gauke, MP, the govt. minister responsible, L. Homer, the chief ex., and chairman M. Clasper) have come up with a truly monstrous scam – to charge people inheritance tax while they are still alive. No doubt, their HR department is busy recruiting a gang of psychics to predict what the unfortunate customer will have in the bank at the time of death so that HMRC can pretend that its acts of pillage are fair and proportionate.

The BBC has blown £10 MILLION (or 70,000 licence fees) on sending out 46 million threatening letters over the last 2 years. 95% of the letters went to people who pay their licence fee regularly.

Why are charities not politically neutral?
Because a lot of them have been infiltrated by Brownites. When the nation gave the Order the Boot to Wee Gordie Broon, his staff zoomed into the charity sector to continue the war against the Tories by stealth.

"Free, but not as we know it, Jim"
The N. Clegg "free" school meals scam will be underfunded to the tune of at least £25 MILLION, so that's it for repairs, more staff, new building, books, etc.

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 CLIMATE NEWS 

global warming sloganThe Great Wood Chip Fraud
The Dept. of Global Warming, prop. E. Davey (Liberal with your money), has finally worked out that burning wood chips imported by air-freight from the other side of the planet creates more carbon dioxide than burning coal in power stations. And the world would be better off if the trees were left where they were. So converting coal-fired power stations to burn wood chips was just another in a long list of abuses of taxpayers' cash by dozy politicians.

global warming sloganAnother counterblast to a long-running scam
The Earth has been warming up for the last 10,000 years, according to Professor Zhengyu Liu of the University of Wisconsin-Madison, and this could not be due to the influence of the human race. But the Global Warming Swindlers have been trying to manufacture data to "prove" that the Earth was cooling until the human race started wrecking things by making the climate hotter; which the world's more crooked governments took as a licence to tax carbon dioxide in order to give cash to snake-oil salesmen.
Professor Liu can expect to have his reputation trashed big-time by the Global Warming Swindlers and their allies in the near future, as is customary when someone dares to challenge their scam.

Night Flowers, a novel by Philip H. TurnerCentralization, not proliferation
The EU is demanding more bins for more recycling categories; half a dozen or more for every home; when the real answer to this artificially created mess is to collect everything recyclable in a single bin and separate the components at a refuse reclamation centre.
   Dumping the rest in landfill is not a problem for us. We have an abundance of holes in the ground as a by-product of quarrying for building and road-making. But the EU has made it into an artificial problem because Holland and Denmark have no landfill sites so, under EU homogenization rules, no one should have them. But this is how the EU operates. Stupidity, mindlessly and wastefully.
   The book shown on the right describes the future of recycling. It was written in 1977. The answers are there but the EU, of course, still refuses to see them.

 PICTURE VIEWS 


"At the Commonwealth Games"

"That thing about the lamps going out all over Europe;
it was supposed to be metaphorical, not actual."

Romiley News
ROMILEY NEWS
 

Romiley buzzed by military jet again
or: "There is bom on bored this plain"

This time it was allegedly whilst "escorting" an airliner from Qatar to Manchester airport after the crew started thinking there was a "device" aboard. Total false alarm, of course. Which is just as well as Romiley could well have copped a packet if the Typhoon pilot had been ordered to try out his missles.

 TECH NEWS 
Wholeman Hunt writes:

There is no escape!
Surprise! The word "selfie" was created back in 2002. Not a lot of people know that. But it is about to become obsolete. Soon, everyone will have their personal drone and the internet will be awash with boring "dronies". Now, there's something to look forward to. Not.

Make Room! Make Room!
Excessive use of the internet is making major websites, such as eBay, crash at great expense and inconvenience to customers. The best solution on offer is to exclude cellphone access and restrict the internet to larger tablets and proper computers.

 HEALTH NEWS 
Wholeman Hunt writes:

Fat? Blame the Unhealth Service
The NHS is helping to fuel the obesity crisis, according to experts. Too many hospitals are hosting fast-food outlets and shops selling discounted chocolate, and contributing to Bulging Britain Syndrome. The big problem is that the PFI deals were done under New Labour when Wee Gordie Broon was cooking the books and trying to hide public sector debt. Which means that if hospitals try to cut down on junk food, they face huge financial penalties. But will you hear any of this from Labour's health guru A. Burnham?

Nanny sez . . .
The Public Health England quango is wasting taxpayers' cash on ordering the nation not to drink on successive days. There is no medical evidence that this will do anyone any good but hey! The quangocrats need to do something other than count paperclips. But encouraging binge drinking shouldn't be one of them.

Just useless and at public expense
The Care Quality (alleged) Commission has come up with a suitably feeble excuse for failing to ensure decent standards at care homes. It does nothing if some jobsworth decides that the owner of the bad care home will sue.

Blinkered, or just dim?
Drunks who abuse A&E staff should get a spot £50 fine, the health minister, N. Lamb (Liberal) has decided. He's getting a lot of derision for repeating Tony B. Liar's gimmick of marching scumbags to a cashpoint for an instant fine, but why has it taken him so long to realize that something needs to be done?

Crime News
 CRIME NEWS 
Mafia MacEye writes:
Arrested does not equal guilty

The Court of Appeal has ruled that police should name people whom they have arrested, and they should not be able to conceal the extent of fishing expeditions by refusing to release names and numbers of arrests.
Police "services" have been hiding behind the Luvvieson Report unjustifiably.

Justice, but not as we know it, Jim
A German court has mugged Formula 1 supremo B. Ecclestone for $100 million as its price for letting him off bribery charges. Judge P. Noll described the payment as "acceptable". No doubt Mr. Ecclestone finds it an acceptable alternative to being threatened with a 10-year gaol sentence.

New Labour rules live on
The Scottish government, which is heavily subsidized by English taxpayers and run by the Scottish Gnats, is using taxpayers' cash to fund the "Yes To Independence" campaign and put propaganda on official government websites.
   The campaign is intended to put A. Salmonella in the history books as the first president of an independent Scotland rather than to deliver any benefits to the Scottish people.
   By using taxpayers' money, the Scottish government is breaching impartiality rules, following custom & practice established by New Labour. But English taxpayers are unlikely to complain if an independent Scotland reduces the strain on their wallets by removing Scottish subsidies.

Thanks a bunch, Mr. B. Liar
New Labour's 'uman rights laws led to 1,300 foreign criminals, including murderers and paedophiles, staying or being let in to Britain last year, DESPITE Dave the Leader's promise to evict them.

The Allegations Squad has turned over Sir Cliff Richard's penthouse in his absence 30 years after the alleged event. Likelihood of finding evidence: zero. Number of coppers who will be charged with wasting police time: zero. Number of hours spent trawling around the building: five. Number of sackfuls of "evidence" strolled off with: not disclosed. Number of hours of police time wasted: 40, which is probably getting on for 60 when travelling time and messing about are factored in.

Oh, dear!
The decision by S. Yorkshire & Berkshire police to invite the BBC to the fishing expedition at Sir C. Richard's Berkshire residence has turned out to be terrible PR for them. Lying about tipping off the newspapers as well as the BSBC in a pathetic attempt to dilute the BBC aspect of the story did not help either.
   Worse, the 2 cheap constables could face being hauled into court for abuse of Sir C. Richard's 'uman bluddy right to privacy. And maybe even a token suspension from the Association of Cheap Police Officers?
The PR for the BSBC is getting even worse with the police accusing the Beeb of lying about how it got advance warning of the raid. The only good aspect, from the Beeb's point of view, is that the time devoted to sleazing Sir C. Richard wasn't devoted to spreading propaganda on behalf of Islamist "militants", as the BSBC persists in calling murdering terrorists.

The licence-payer will pay, of course
As well as causing outrage by invading Sir C. Richardís home to film police officers having a day out, turning the place over, the BBC is liable to be sued under privacy laws for broadcasting material which could be of use to any burglars, who feel like taking a crack at Sir C.ís mansion while heís out of the country. But no one will get the sack, of course.

Free immunity
The parents of the children found in the shipping container at Tilbury won't be sent back to the port of origin, Zeebrugge, to face charges of felony child endangerment. They will just get the usual package of benefits and a free home, courtesy of the British taxpayer.

Public Service Announcement

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His intellect is matched only by the size of his luck and the size of his bank balance. And yet he manages to keep his Feet On The Ground with the greatest of ease. Do yourself a favour and find out what Xavier has had to say about what's going on Right Now!

 WAR NEWS 
Dubja Bomber writes:

Crooks' bank accounts overflowing
More money has been poured into the sink of corruption called Afghanistan than was spent on rebuilding Europe after World War II under the Marshall Plan, and the place is still a disaster area. Except for the bits inhabited by Mr. Khazi and similar beneficiaries.

Done themselves no favours . . .
The Liberals have cleared Lord Rennard of the groping allegations made against him by female members and welcomed him back into their ranks. Apparently, all he did was inadvertently encroach on the personal space of some (but not all) of the complainants. By groping them.

 TRAVEL NEWS 


Brick wall + head = early retirement
The chief inspector of borders, J. Vine, will quit in disgust 6 months early after being ignored by Home Sec. T. May. The Home Office has censored his inconvenient reports and it is persistent in its failure to do anything about the massive holes and endemic incompetence in the administration of the nation's borders.

Minor inconvenience
It has just been revealed, via an air accident report, that a pilot made a heavy landing at Belfast City airport back in February in windy conditions because his false arm came off and he had to take his real arm off the throttles to regain control of the yoke.
FACTUAL NOTE: Despite the way headlines were written and the story was presented, the false arm became detached from the control yoke, not from the pilot's body.

Something else to thank New Labour for
20% of the people who swan into and out of the UK are not being checked against watchlists for criminals and terrorists. Why? Because New Labour blew £500,000,000 of taxpayers' cash on eBorders, a computer scheme which would never work because it infringes EU rules on free movement.
   Worse, the Home Office has a vested interest in ensuring that the system doesn't work because it lets ministers lie about the true extent of immigration, legal and illegal.

That lot in Iceland again
The government of Iceland has issued an orange alert as it expects the volcano Bardarbunga to erupt quite soon. There have been strong earthquakes in the area, and disruption to air travel over Europe is inevitable as the ash cloud from the eruption will head our way.

The police lying? Well, who'd have thunk it!
In Scotland, police officers using a camera to get evidence against speeding motorists have to be in a clearly marked vehicle. But when two members of the public challenged a couple of coppers who were at it in Glasgow, their response was to drive away, confirming that they knew they were up to no good. And yet, Police Scotland claimed afterwards that they were operating under the normal parameters. Really?

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Far Queue List

Far Queue symbol C. McConnel, chief ex of Scottish prisons, who thinks convicts are "assets of community value". Plus whoever gave him the job.

Far Queue symbol The Milibandit fixer A. Yearley for disrespecting Austin Mitchell, MP for Great Grimsby and one of the few Labour MPs capable of commanding the respect of people who aren't hopeless Labour stooges.

Far Queue symbol Berko, squeaker of the House of Common Criminals, who gave the £200K clerk's job to a woman who isn't up to it, and who now wants to hire someone else, at a 6-figure salary out of the taxpayer's pocket, of course, to do the job his Aussie pal can't do.

Far Queue symbol Tony B. Liar, who advises the regime boss in Kazakhstan how to put a positive spin on massacres of his own citizens.

Far Queue symbol The rail minister, C. Perry; she thinks commuters pay fair fares for comfortable commuting, and she has obviously never been on a rush-hour train in her life.

Far Queue symbol Lloyds Bank, which is still threatening staff with the sack if they don't sell unwanted loans, bank accounts, etc. to customers who dare to venture into branches.

Far Queue symbol Scottish government minister J. Swinney, who has been telling porkies about talking to the Bonk of England about post-independence currency union.

Far Queue symbol Judge J. Harrow, who failed to send a woman with a "breathtaking" (his word) criminal history to gaol for stabbing a man in the face with a broken glass.

Far Queue symbol Judges who think they have a divine right to ignore the laws coming out of Parliament and invent their own, despite having no mandate to do so.

Far Queue symbol Lloyds Bank, which, despite a fine of £28 MILLION for mis-selling, is still browbeating staff to pester customers with products they don't want (or don't need) to buy.

Far Queue symbol The bloke in Chatham who wrote his gf's name with tea lights on the bedroom carpet and started a conflagration which destroyed the room.

Far Queue symbol The DWP and the Universal Jobmatch service, which banned an advert from a communications company asking for someone able to speak excellent English. For a job in England.

Far Queue symbolLeicestershire police "service", which doesn't turn up to arrest suspected paedophiles with a meeja accompaniment, as for journalists accused of phone hacking, if the alleged perp is a Labour politician. Or even actually arrest them if the alleged perp is in the House of Frauds.

Far Queue symbolThe Royal Mail, which is scrapping post-postman collections from 50% of its pillar boxes, making first-class post even more of a rip-off.

Far Queue symbol The proprietors of 118 118 and the rip-off directory inquiry call rates from BT, Sky, Virgin Meeja and TalkTalk.

Far Queue symbol Derbyshire police, who said nothing when an escaped murderer fled to Ireland in 2002. No publicity about the escape, no attempt to recapture him.

Far Queue symbolThe boss of HSBC, who's moaning that his staff are tired out after having to apply new regulations to prevent them from misselling products and flogging dodgy deals to unsuspecting customers. [Get more staff? And pay them with some of the money you won't have to spend on fines? Ed.]

Far Queue symbolThe sociologist who accused Gardeners' Question time of being saturated with racial language, and everyone else who descends into the utterly absurd to get noticed.

Far Queue symbolEveryone involved in pushing diesel-driven vehicles as less polluting than those with a petrol engine on spurious Global Warming grounds – and got the UK swindled by the EU over air pollution.
Gordon Effin Broon bears a big share of the blame for his 2001 CO2 tax added to vehicle exercise duty.

Far Queue symbolHMRC staff. The organization loses 90% of complaint appeals by those tough enough to survive months of being bungled and subjected to laziness and incompetence to reach the office of the Tax Adjudicator.

Far Queue symbol Plusnet & BT, which charge outrageous cancellation fees for broadband "services" which often don't work.

Far Queue symbol The woman who got drunk on an airliner and battered the trolley staff with her wooden leg.

Far Queue symbol S. Laidlaw, boss of British Gas, who thinks cutting prices is a bad idea because it confuses his customers, who want stable prices.
Mr. L. is doing such a grand job that customers are deserting his company in droves and the parent company, Centrica, has suffered a 40% drop in profits.

Far Queue symbol The government's "full, free and fearless" investigation of the murder of A. Litvinyenko by Russian spies (allegedly) will be held behind closed doors when the guilty need protecting. The Bliar regime has more secrets to protect.

Far Queue symbol The Liberal (with other people's money) councillor for Fareham Borough council, who's claiming his £13K allowance even though he lives and work in Saudia.

Far Queue symbol The judge who banned naming and shaming 2 Bolton city councillors (who failed to pay their council tax) on 'uman rights grounds because it would cause them distress.

Far Queue symbol The judge who adjourned a case at Glasgow Sheriff's Court because he had tickets for the Commonwealth Games.

Far Queue symbol The Home Office, which claims that the 'uman right to a family doesn't apply to an Australian woman who has a British husband and 2 British children.

Far Queue symbol G. Osborne, who broke a promise to raise the inheritance theft tax threshold.

Far Queue symbol Google, which is accepting false information from criminals who are trying to cover up past crimes by abusing "right to be forgotten" rules.

Far Queue symbol The german gent who paid €2.7 million for T. Eminus's bad-based rubbish dump.

Far Queue symbol “Far queue, far queue very much!” – Frank Zappa.

The Far Queue: the traditional parking place for everything "not wanted on voyage".

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