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A shining beacon of enlightenment in an era of Tory/Labour/Leftie-luvvie censorship and attempts to cover up their often unsavoury and frequently criminal activities.

Public Service Advice: For maximum comprehension, customers are advised to read our words from left to right and in the order in which they are presented. Please keep your eyes open whilst reading or you might miss something.


Gimme the loot!
A case before the Al Sweady Inquiry has collapsed after wasting £22 MILLION of British taxpayers' cash over the last year; most of it going to lawyers, of course. British troops were accused of killing Iraqi prisoners but it turned out to be another case of relatives of bad guys using lawyers funded by British taxpayers' cash to try to extort cash via compensation claims. There are lots of similar cases still pushing cash into the pockets of the alleged 'uman rights lawyers, of course.

Don't let them have it
Is anyone surprised by the Labour lot's opposition to letting people take charge of their own pension pots and avoid being ripped off by the companies selling the formerly compulsory annuities? Or that the Labour lot are saying people can't be trusted to spend their own money sensibly?
   Let us not forget that we had 13 years of Gordon Broon, assisted by his understrapper E. BallsUp, doing his best to tax every last penny away from us (whilst wrecking the pensions and banking industries and the economy) so that Wee Gordon could blow the money on reckless spending. If there's anyone who can't be trusted with money, it's the inhabitants of the rarified atmosphere inside the Westminster Bubble.

More EU waste of money
The European Commission is taking Britain to court for discrimination over our laws against benefit tourism. This is yet another case of vexatious litigation by a jumped up eurocrat, and further grounds for getting the Hell out of that swamp of wasteful corruption which is the eurocracy.

So, deadlock?
The EU is demanding a re-run of the Russian fake referendum on Crimea's departure from Ukraine as the result was one which the EU did not like. Under EU rules, the referendum must be repeated until it produces a result which is satisfactory to the eurocracy. Unfortunately, Russia has a parallel rule and the Putinocracy likes the first result, having paid a lot of dosh for it. Further EU impotence is on the cards.

At the heart of Europe? Dream on!
Dave the Leader's bluff over the EU has been called. Official figures released for Britain's attempts to prevent the European Council from saddling us with pointless and repressive legislation record Failure in 55 attempts made since 1996. Which proves that Britain has little or no influence over what goes on in Europe and what the other member states do. Our voting power has dropped by one-half in the Council of Ministers and the European Parliament, and by three-quarters in the European Commission. So it would appear that no matter what the Westminster Wonders would have us believe, Europe ain't listening. At least, not to us.

Legal Schmiegal
Do we care that homophiles want to pretend that they are married to someone of the same sex? Not as long as they have to cough up some cash to the taxpayer for a licence for the delusion.

Just a thought . . .
. . . but should someone with a personal record as stained as that of K. Vaz, MP, be pontificating on police corruption? As someone who was denied access to the House of Common Criminals for offences against its rules, etc., he's not exactly a paragon of purity.


Time to dig out the old 3d bits!!

• The Plasto-Grafic Coin-Verter™ will turn these obsolete pieces of scrap metal into exact replicas of the new £1 coins, which will enter circulation in 2017 as the Royal Mint's replacements for the old fashioned, round pound coins.
• Get in early before the nation's spivs and foreign infiltrators buy up these valuable recyclable assets!
An opportunity of a lifetime! Get in on the ground floor NOW!

• Sole Distributor •
Romiley Advanced Metalware, 32a Riverside Drive


A small difference of opinion?
Converting coin collectors to take the proposed new dodecahedral pound coins will cost £100 MILLION, according to the industry "experts". So customers can expect to be ripped off something rotten – especially as the Royal Mint puts the real cost of the conversion job at £15-20 million.

A strange way of going about it
How should the United States help Africans to produce children they can't afford to support? Give $5.3 MILLION out of the Power Africa budget to Tony B. Liar, is part of Pres. O'Bummer's solution to the problem. Ahhh! The warm glow of a well-scratched back!

It's official, Red Ed is weird
In a character survey conducted this month, 41% of respondents declared that they found E. Milibandit weird. 34% thought the same of Clottish Clegg and 27% of them applied the tag to Dave the Leader.
When respondents were asked for a uselessness rating, all 3 party leaders scored in the high 90s.


From a correspondent :
A friend drew my attention to an article in theONION (America's Finest News Source [self-proclaimed]) about the missing Malaysian airlines flight MH 370. My sense of the weird was stimulated by a link below the article to a story with the title Obama Spends Afternoon In Garage Restoring Classic Drone. Which left me wondering if some country's leader, or some ex-military type, was trying out his private predator drone and accidentally released a missle, which took out the missing airliner? Naturally, the culprit wouldn't admit what he'd done. And he'd have the resources to cover up his havoc by accident. If the finger on the Button of Unintended Doom belonged to President Barraco Banner, all it would take would be a quick phone call to the NSA, which is usually called the No Such Agency but could, as easily, stand for No Such Accident! J.F.

It costs £4,000 to cull one badger. Why? Because the government is doing it and, basically, the government is crap at doing everything.

Don't read this!
The secret Court of Protection (another of New Labour's brilliant ideas) has allowed a gardener to steal £200,000 from a customer with dementia. The gardener will not be prosecuted and he may not be identified. The same applies to the court officials who became his accessories. Even worse, the gardener will be allowed to keep £60,000 of his loot.

Nope, not new at all
In the case of Red Ed Milibandit's speech in reply to the Budget, the answer has to be in the definite negatory. There was little point to his attending the House of Common Criminals for the occasion as most of his guff was recycled stuff from anything up to 4 years ago.
   [Recycling is supposed to be a beneficial activity but recycling political garbage is just creating more political garbage, Ed. Ed.]

President of Syria Wins Heinrich Himmler Lookalike Competition

left: H. Himmler, right: B. Assad

Labour would refuse a coalition with the Liberals if the Tories fail to win the next general election, sez D. Alexander. So given Labour's record of flip-flops, that means Clottish Clegg would get to be deputy PM again if it put Red Ed into Downing Street. Something to look forward to.


Anthony Wedgewood Benn, a.k.a. Wedgie & Tony Benn,
diarist & politician, 88

The son of a champagne socialist peer, he enjoyed the benefits of the best education available (and tried to deny it) before diving into the swamp of the looney left. He successfully renounced his title to return to the Commons as an MP, and his first self-serving task in office as part of Harold Wilson's government was to try to get the Queen's head removed from the nation's postage stamps. He failed. He was an admirer of mass murderers, like Mao Tse Tung, and an eloquent, but unsuccessful, advocate of unlimited power for trade unions (the Labour party's paymasters) and putting everything under wasteful state control—to the benefit of the trade unions rather than the taxpayer.
   He has been described by the confused as a political giant, but he will be remembered for his voluminous diaries rather than his politics, which can best be described as a road map of the aspirations of the lunatic left. The nation must be grateful that this deeply flawed messiah failed to attract the following needed to turn Britain into a crippled cousin of North Korea.

travel news

Time to get a grip
Fact: local councils aren't keeping roads in good repair. Their excuse is that the government doesn't give them enough cash. Which makes it all the more strange that they can find money for excessive diversity crap, global warming monitors and similar non-jobs in the social meddling sector. Councils are there to empty bins and keep the roads and pavements in good order as a primary purpose. All the frivolous leftie social agendas need to be ditched until the country has recovered from Labour's last wrecking of the economy. Maybe surcharges for councillors who won't ensure that Council Tax is spent on primary purposes is the answer.

You're standing on the edge of a cliff, facing a big drop to a bad landing. "Forward, not back," sez N. Clegg.

Suspicious? I'll say it is!
The disappearance of a Malaysian airliner en route to China is curious, especially given the number of satellites looking down at everything happening below them. And especially given the number of military gentlemen hunched over radar sets, watching for a sneak attack. The obvious conclusion is that either someone knows where the airliner crashed to a few tens of miles, or that a big chunk of the cash grabbed by the military for their fancy surveillance systems went on riotous living rather than effective protection for their host nation.

Ever wondered exactly what pettifogging involves?
Look no further than the FIA, boss of F1, which told the teams the maximum amount of fuel they could carry for a race, and then added a regulation telling them how fast they can burn it. As a result of using a far from accurate measuring system, the FIA DQ'd Aussie driver Ricciardo from his home Grand Prix this month, and wiped out an on-the-podium finish. Petti-effin'-foggin', or what!

A biscuit-taking excuse?
J.-L. Henon, the mayor of Courcelles-Epayelles (it's in Oise in northern France) seems to believe in telling Guinness Book of Records standard lies when he's busted bang to rights. When caught doing 160 kph in a 90 kph zone, he told the cops he'd just come out of a car wash and he was only drying off his vehicle!

Frozen Asset
If you're planning to go somewhere by tram in Nottingham, check the weather report first. If there's a hint of frost, the trams stop running.


One more for the list of Green havoc events
The Silent Spring, the book which labelled DDT (wrongly) as a carcinogen and led to the ban on the use of DDT as a pesticide, has to take its share of blame for the deaths of over 40 million humans through diseases which would have been prevented by DDT spraying. That's a lot more than the number of people killed by the Stalin regime in Soviet Russia.

Quiz Time
Which party has/had as its policy, the ambition to depopulate the Earth to a de-industrialized, Garden of Eden state : The Green Party? The Nazi Party? Both?
A Clue :
"I think I'll vote Green at the next election. How about you?"
"Oh, I could never vote for extremists. I'll play safe and stick with the BNP."

So what do the "experts" know anyway?
For years, they have assured us that a low-fat diet prevents obesity and diabetes, and saturated fats, like those in butter and real foods, clog up the arteries with cholesterol and cause heart disease. Now, a U-turn. They got it wrong. Saturated fats protect against heart disease, they say now. Carbohydrates are the real enemy and sugar is the crime boss. The world now waits with bated breath for the next revelation and U-turn.

Take the case of D. Loughton
He spent 17 years running the Waldgrave Hospital in Coventry into the ground and booting out whistle-blowers. The Commission for Health gave it a "zero stars" rating in 2001 and the hospital's surgeons delivered a vote of no confidence in him. Local MPs tried to get the then Health Sec., J. Hutton, to sack him, but Hutton let Loughton resign in 2002.
   Two years later, Loughton was back through the revolving door for the public sector's management staff at the Royal Wolverhampton Hospitals NHS Trust, on the way to a £400K salary and a CBE in 2011. And still up to his old tricks of delivering bad service and sacking whistle-blowers who exposed fraud in death-rate figures, etc.
   Is it any wonder that the public has little or no confidence in the people who are running the NHS, and the police, and the rest of the public sector?

Nothing changes
The Co-op Group has just posted its biggest ever losses, so the top execs have to get huge pay rises. The spirit of New Labour's rewards for failure culture and Gordon Broon's casino economics lives on!

Anything free will be exploited – and not just by cynical politicians
This could be a statement of the bleedin' obvious, but maybe people flock to food banks because there is free food on offer rather than because of the leftie luvvie BS about benefit cuts? And that some customers, if they don't have to spend cash on food, are spending it on booze, drugs and riotous living? The only thing you can be sure of is that Labour's shadow ministers will lie with their food banks statistics. Like M. Eagle.

Revolving forever
Since the Coalition promised to lock the NHS revolving door, £200 MILLION has been paid out under New Labour redundancy contracts to staff, who have grabbed the cash only to stroll back into another overpaid NHS job within a matter of months. M. Hodge, the chairman of the Commons public accounts committee, has been posturing on the issue. But let us not forget that she was part of the New Labour government which unloaded the system on the taxpayer, and also in charge of covering up child abuse when she was leader of Islington council in the 1990s. So she's not exactly a Type One person when it comes to probity.

Just another excuse for grabbing
S. Davies, Britain's chief medical officer, has joined the relentless drip of propaganda toward a Sugar Stealth Tax which, we know from past experience, will not be used to tackle the alleged crimes of the sugar industry. Just like the Carbon Dioxide Stealth Tax, and all the others invented by Wee Gordie Broon and his successors, the cash will be grabbed from the taxpayer and hurled down a government Brown Hole – probably in the direction of some unsavoury foreign dictatorship.


There is no need to panic
The government does not believe that the nation is under threat from mind-control by evil aliens, which are trying to take over the planet. Nevertheless, Dave the fearless Leader would like everyone to wear a radiation-shield hat made from aluminium kitchen foil, just in case the alien threat is real.
   There is also possible that the kitchen foil hat will protect British citizens against the pernicious effects of imaginary global warming. So there's another reason to wear one, just in case.

The next Big Scare Story
We've had famine, over-population, world-slaying epidemics, new Ice Ages, Global Warming, oil and gas running out, drought, floods, everything. Now, we have the threat of ancient viruses being hauled out of permafrost by drilling for oil and wiping out the human race. Smallpox is the current favourite but something better might just come along.
   No one knows if there are any such viruses lurking in frozen regions, but that hasn't stopped the econazis from trying to start another panic in the name of de-industrialization and cutting off the flow of oil. Hysteria rulz, OK!

Loss of proportion
The characters "advising" governments around the world, including our own, to waste trillions of pounds/dollars/euros/etc. on pretending that they can control the Earth's climate all have a vested interest in the Great Global Warming Fraud. In fact, it's the sole source of income for many of them. How strange, then, that the Daily Mail should fulminate over links between food experts and companies which manufacture genetically modified products whilst rarely uttering a peep about the industrial scale of vested interest when it comes to the GGW Fraud.

More cash down the drain
The UN's Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, a.k.a. the Global Warming Fraudsters' Forum, claimed in 2007 that biofuels would be the world's salvation, triggering a huge waste of cash on conversion programmes and a switch from food production to biofuel plants. But now, the IPCC has done a U-turn. Biofuels are Bad For The Environment, they cause Global Warming, and they promote famine by driving up food prices. Naturally, nobody at the UN will get the sack for making a costly bog of things.

Romiley News

Lest we forget the Romiley Levels

The sound of things to come
A while ago, we got a leaflet telling us that the local operator of the power grid will be doing trial voltage reductions to cut down on demand because of the power shortages made inevitable by the dithering of the last (if only!) Labour government, which bought the Great Global Warming Fraud. And made Red Ed the Milibandit GW minister with disastrous results.
   This month, we found out what the leaflet should have warned us about but didn't – that the messing about would result in burglar alarms going off all over the place in response to insufficient power getting to them. Welcome to noise-pollution Britain.

Back to the old "Yeah, Right!"
The Met Office sez we can expect a month-long heat wave – which explains why we're all freezing in this chilly wind. And why some Romiley residents have found themselves zapping rogue grass in brilliant sunshine one minute and legging it indoors the next under a bombardment of hail. Go on, tell us it's Climate Change, why don'tcha?

If it's good, put a stop to it
Our Sainsbury Local seems to have abandoned the Allinson wholemeal loaf in favour of a mass attack of Hovis. Which is a great pity as the Allinson bread was the only one that makes decent toast. There is also Warburton's on offer, but its toast is hopeless. But the person who canned the Allinson bread probably didn't bother to find that out.

Home News
UK Flag

Believe it or what!
Does anyone really believe that the hairstyle of Angelica Ripoff, the star of Not the Nine O'Clock News, was the most influential haircut in the whole history of the universe?
Does anyone take seriously the leftie luvvie definition of child poverty, which includes the lack of a mobile phone and an iPad?
If homophiles at the BBC are encouraged to commission drama packed with homophile characters in the name of diversity, does that give other types of philes a licence to do the same? Like paedophiles? After all, diversity isn't diversity if it's diluted.

Definitely doomed
Lord Mandelsleaze sez he thinks E. BallsUp is doing a jolly fine job as shadow chancellor. so that's Ballsie's credibility shot and his political career over.

Reform, but not now it
Does Ed. Milibandit's "reform" of Labour's internal voting system count for anything if it won't be introduced for 5 years? Who knows what else can be done to shuffle the pack even more in the trade unions' favour in that time.

Bang to rights
A poll commissioned by Lord Ashcroft has found that the leaders of the Coalition parties and the Opposition are seen by the nation's voters as "posh and out of touch", "boring and an idiot", and "a spineless liar". We'll leave it to our readers to attach the appropriate name to the description.

Predator +
We're supposed to be broke but it's amazing how much cash can be found for frivolous "studies"; like the one which recommends reintroducing extinct species to Britain in the name of biodiversity. So if you find that urban foxes are no longer tipping your wheeled bins over in search of a snack, it's time to be very afraid!! The foxes have probably been killed off by reintroduced wolves or lions wished upon us by some human tapeworm at the European Commission.

The BBC is to change its motto to: "The Institution shall speak Lies to the Nation".

Schmeducation, more like!
Tony B. Liar once assured the nation that the top 3 items on his list of priorities were education, education, education. So what is his legacy? How about a 17-year-old girl, who says she has 17 GCSEs, but who thinks we have a president called Barraco Barner. They used to say "Labour isn't working". Stick a "New" into that and we're in a plus ça change situation.

In Nottinghamshire, the Liberals attract fewer votes than any of the Tories, Labour and the Bus Pass Elvis Party. Could this be something to do with the party's leader never having worked for a living and never having ventured into the real world, so he has no idea what goes on there? Like an average Milibandit?

Continuity announcer: "BBC One follows the life of people living rough on the streets of Swansea at eleven thirty-five." That will get a huge audience. (not)

Nurse, he's out of bed again!
Clottish Clegg's latest Calamity: his free school meals plan means staggered lunchtimes for little kids and extending the lunch hour to 3 hours; from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. Typical clunking politician's inflation! And he expects little kids to remember what they picked from the menu several hours before they get to the service counter.

Nurse, he's out of bed again! Again!
D. Nicholson, the Man With No Shame, who stands accused of allowing the staff of Stafford Hospital to neglect patients to death, now wants to put his nose back into the public sector trough. He thinks it would be a good idea if he joined the Coalition's Press Censorship Authority in order to make sure than no criticism of the NHS, and no embarrassing whistle-blowing revelations, ever make it into print.
   Are we surprised? No, not given the bloke's history. Would we be surprised if some jobsworth government official gave him the job? No, that's the way the public sector operates – ensuring that the unworthy thrive.

A good definition of weasel words: "Some of the allegations aren't true."

world news

Cash soothes the severest pain
A bloke in California is trying to extract $1.5 MILLION from the McDonald's burger chain because he got only one napkin with his meal. He claims he can't work any more because of the emotional distress caused by the episode and his undue mental anguish. We can think of a couple of judges over here who would give him an overly sympathetic hearing. No doubt this "victim" is hoping there are plenty like them in California.

Hang about!
Just a thought, but the United States and Britain don't need to thrust taxpayers' cash into the pockets of the Ukrainian government; there's lots of dosh there. They just have to extract it from the clutches of the billionaire spivs, who strolled off with it when the Soviet Union self-destructed.

Champion skivers of Europe
When you add up statutory holidays, public holidays and skiving, the average public sector "worker" in France goes to the workplace for only 10 months of the year. Of course, whether they actually do anything useful when they get there is another matter!

One way to pretend
Kim Jong Un won a seat in North Korea's parliament [Rather cosmetic if he's the dictator. Ed.] with a 100% vote and a 100% turn-out. How did he do it? Well, voters are presented with a ballot paper with one name on it and "yes" and "no" boxes. There are 2 voting booths, one for "yes" voters and one for "no" voters. The "no" booth can be hermetically sealed and it is connected to a big tank of nerve gas.
The Labour party is hoping to introduce the same system if it ever manages to scare up enough postal votes to rig a general election in its favour.

Mugged by the Mandelsleaze?
Red Ed Milibandit isn't offering a referendum on Britain's EU membership. Some say he's been bugged by Labour's Europarasites but the more likely explanation is that he hopes to become one himself after he's chucked out of UK politics, Kinnock-style.

In a popularity parade of 27 countries and national groupings, Russia beat the EU, which managed to come out ahead of only Saudia, Iran and North Korea.

Public Service Announcement

He's been called the Blogger of the Decade

His intellect is matched only by the size of his luck and the size of his bank balance. And yet he manages to keep his Feet On The Ground with the greatest of ease. Do yourself a favour and find out what Xavier has had to say about what's going on Right Now!

Crime News

"A good police force is one which catches more crooks than it employs."

– Sir Robert Mark, corruption-busting Commissioner of the Met until the Callaghan regime got rid of him and allowed corruption to continue to flourish.

More wriggling on the way
Tony B. Liar is to be questioned by the judge who will be appointed to inquire into why the New Labour government issued amnesties to terrorists, why only IRA terrorist received them and why Loyalist terrorists and members of British security organizations were not offered similar immunity from prosecution in the name of peace and fair-play.

Are judges soft on persistent criminals?
One with 3 or more convictions should get at least 3 years in gaol. But 80% of them don't. why aren't characters like Judge P. Bowers, who seems to admire the "courage" of burglars, sacked? That's one of life's great mysteries.

Why we have so much confidence in the British legal system (not)
Judge R. McKee, who sheltered an African illegal migrant and let foreign criminals evade deportation and stay here, has been allowed to retire on a full pension of £50K.

Not getting it
HM Prisons Inspectorate is unable to understand why 5% of inmates of British prisons are gypsies/travellers. Maybe they are "over-represented" in the prison system because they commit a lot of crimes? Or is that something too obvious for the official mind to grasp?

What does a criminal have to do to be deported these days?
Mafia bosses, terrorists, swindlers & fraudsters, murderers, rapists, serial criminals – there are 12,000 foreign undesirables in British gaols or free to roam our streets on spurious 'uman bluddy rights grounds. Looks like it's time to introduce performance-related pay for Britain's soft-on-crime judges to make them take responsibility for their inactions. And include them in a special 80% income tax band for non-performing public servants.

It's official!
The police, particularly the Metropolitan Police "service", have not stopped covering up internal corruption and there is no realistic possibility that a determined effort to end corruption will ever happen, especially if the Leveson Press Censorship Plan is allowed to go ahead.
   Doing the Job is hard. But it's easy to take the New Labour route to success and lie with falsified statistics and pretend that everything in the garden is lovely. And as long as retired, failed top coppers continue to get their pension and a peerage on top of a knighthood instead of the sack, disgrace and no pension, the police will continue to follow the New Labour Pathway.

Crime News

Just a minor nuisance

Police in Britain, Spain, the United States and Serbia rounded up 110 suspects in an assault on a boiler-room share fraud racket, which is alleged to have raked in £15 million.
The world is still waiting for a similar assault on the Global Warming Fraudsters, who have been getting away with it, with the connivance of armies of corrupt politicians, for nigh on 25 years and stolen TRILLIONs.

Security? What's that?
How on Earth did that thieving Romanian get out of a branch of Tesco in Barrow with four and a half cases of whisky, plus a load of stuff to hide the booze? The S.O.B. should have been given 54 years in gaol "to encourage others" but he got away with an 8-week curfew, no fine, no unpaid work because his English isn't good enuf to understand 'elf & nazi information, and costs of £145. And they say Britain isn't a soft touch for foreign criminals.

Stealth tactics
P. Rock, a long-serving Downing Street staffer and pal of D. Cameron, was arrested on child porn charges in the middle of a February night by the National Crime Agency, Britain's answer to the KGB. Three weeks later, the news leaked out. This would not have been able to happen if the government had been able to put its Press censorship programme in place.
   Mr. Rock has resigned from his post. No charges have been brought against him at the time of writing.

Qualified majority held to ransom
The EU is preparing the ground for a demand for £20 BILLION to cover a Brown Hole in its accounts for last year as a result of incompetence on the part of the clowns running the European Commission. Britain's share will be £2.5 BILLION and no matter how much blustering Dave the Leader does, the British taxpayer will have to fork over the cash because the decision will be made via qualified majority voting by the EU's usual suspects.

Does an actress from a TV legal series joining lawyers protesting about legal aid cuts lend the cause credibility? Or is it just someone from the luvvie circuit demonstrating her contempt for the poor old taxpayer? Who, let us not forget, has to subsidize legal aid for people who should be made to pay their own way, but who aren't due to the uselessness of the luvvies administering the legal aid system.

Perfectly okay
The copper, who thought a blind man's white cane was a Samurai sword and shot him with a taser, has not been sacked. All he got at his disciplinary hearing was a slap on the wrist. Anyone surprised? The incident happened in Chorley in October 2012 and the victim's civil case against Lancashire Police for compensation is still in the works. Something else which isn't surprising.


Sabres clashing!
Russian president Vlad the Last is revving up for an invasion of Ukraine. The West has had all the fun recently – Iraq, Afghanistan, etc. – and he has been feeling left out. But the situation in Ukraine gives him a chance to play the war hero without having to go too far from home.

Lest we forget who started World War I – it was Herbert Asquith's failing Liberal government, which was terrified of a return to opposition and desperate to keep the Tories out of office.

+ + + Russia sends masked troops into Crimea + + + Russia lies about sending troops to occupy airports and surround border posts + + + Russia forced to admit launching the invasion + + + Russian Anschluß plan for Crimea now well established + + + There is no turning back now + + + Red Ed Milipede to blame for situation in Ukraine – it's all a consequence of his failure to back an invasion of Syria last summer to remove the rogue regime there + + + Vlad the Putin is on a shortlist for this year's Nobel peace prize – no one surprised + + + Putin coach tours moving teams of actors around Ukraine to pose as protesters against the Ukrainian protests about the Russian invasion + + +

Oh, goodie! We can join in Putin's war!
Back in 1994, the leaders of Britain, the United States, Russia and Ukraine signed up to the Budapest Memorandum, which guarantees the security of Ukraine's borders. So if Russia invades, we'll have to send the troops in, along with our American allies.

Yes, we'd like the same, please
The EU, on its waste-of-cash website, sez that it wants to see Ukraine ruled with genuine democracy, free from corruption and with sound public finances. We in Britain would like to see the same lofty principles applied to the Eurocrats in Brussels, particularly the bits about corruption and sound public finances.

Seen coming from a long way off
When Russia invaded Georgia in 2008, Sarah Palin, former governor of Alaska and then vice-presidential candidate, predicted that Ukraine would get the same treatment. The usual suspects of the American leftie-luvvie tradition have enjoyed taking pops at the gaffe-prone lady. So she's relishing the chance to say, "I told you so!"

The fate of sacked Ukrainian president V. Yanukovich remains unclear. Officially, he is in perfect health. Unofficially, he's in hospital after a heart attack. Un-unofficially, the Russians are making up their minds whether to kill him off as an embarrassment or let him croak and replace him with a double, who can be relied upon to follow orders to the letter.

Pots & Kettles, Come Away!
It's amusing to watch Vlad the Putin moaning about oligarches taking over bits of Ukraine as some sort of reward for being wealthy, bearing in mind the amount of loot he creamed off from his country's coffers in similar bent privatization deals following the collapse of the Soviet empire, and his electoral shenanigans.

The expired trade union leader B. Crow expressed the wish, after Mrs. Thatcher died, that she would rot in Hell. May we cordially with the same fate to Mr. Crow? With knobs on?

It's a good story
The latest bit of bin Laden spam is that after he was located in Pakistan, US Navy Seals fired magazine after magazine into his body to make sure he was dead and that's why his body was never released to his worshippers. Alternatively, it could be said that they were just making sure that he would sink when buried at sea.


Eyes on you!
The documents stolen by Edward Snowden have revealed that GCHQ [that's the Government Community Harassment Quango, Ed.] has been collecting web-porn by the ton. After spying on Yahoo! webcam users during the course of Operation Optic Nerve, the outfit now has a huge collection of pictures of people doing rude things while chatting to pals. No doubt, it will be sold off eventually; when the government has finished selling off NHS records under the guise of sharing data patient anonymously.

This month's offering from the Ludlum Legacy Collection
. . . is The Moonbat Agenda, a stirring story of ecowarriors fighting against corruption and indifference in places high and low.

BFN Book Review

MURDER on the thirty-first floor
by Per Wahlöö (1964)

Inspector Jensen lives in a Scandinavian socialist-fascist society in some unspecified time period. It's a place where vast numbers of people either kill themselves, or get hopelessly drunk – which qualifies them for persecution by the police then the State.
   Every day, Jensen gets up, goes to work, says as little as possible, stitches up subordinates and investigates crimes in ways calculated to annoy everyone he meets. He avoids eating as much as possible and he always gets indigestion, no matter how bland the slop he eventually consumes.
   At the end of the day, Jensen goes home and goes to bed, usually with indigestion, sometimes with a slug of booze, and goes straight to sleep. He has solved every one of his cases. The author's style, as translated by Sarah Death, reflects the dull life of his detective and the book is very much a journey across a flat landscape populated by dull and frequently rather nasty people. Anyone who comes to a sticky end deserves it. Apart from the poor sods on the 31st floor, of course.
   If the book is intended to drive the reader to drink and/or suicide, it does a grand job.


global warming sloganQuestions they don't want asked
Q: Why did New Labour embrace the Great Global Warming Swindle, close down coal-fired power stations which provided relatively cheap electricity, do nothing over replacing nuclear power stations, inflict ruinously costly windmills on the nation, and give the big power companies a licence to rip off their customers through failing to regulate them? [Like the banks. Ed.]
A: Because someone told Gordon Brown that there is VAT on gas and electricity, and if the Labour government let the price of fuel double, there would be twice as much tax coming in for Brown's reckless spending, sweeties for Labour's pals and attempts to buy votes for Labour with taxpayers' money.

global warming sloganLest we forget . . .
New Labour's Climate Change Act (2008) will waste the equivalent of £18.2 BILLION per year up to 2050 on pointless attempts to "decarbonize" British industry – pointless because any carbon dioxide emission reductions will be swamped by the increases from China, India and all the other usual suspects. So that's £764,400,000,000 wasted thanks to New Labour and subsequent brain-dead politicians, such as the Warmists in the Coalition. You could put the whole of the south of England on stilts to protect it from floods for that sort of money.

What do you say when offered "sustainability"?
If you want some unelected flunky at the UN to tell you how much electricity you can have, say YES.
If you want to use as much electricity as you need, or you can afford, say NO!!

global warming sloganSwings & Roundabouts
Good News : History tells us that a warmer climate should be good for the planet and its inhabitants.
Bad News : The Global Warming Fraudsters are trying to deprive us of this blessing.
Good News : They have no idea how to change or control the climate, so they can't succeed.
Bad News : The Fraudsters are wasting TRILLIONs of dollars/pounds/euros on their doomed obsession. Of course, whilst doing so, they are also shoving MILLIONs into the pockets of themselves and their pals.

£25 light in the family accounts? That's what wind farm subsidies cost every household. Something else to thank New Labour for.

Bad news for hay fever sufferers: the Global Warming Fraudsters reckon that climate change will double the number of people who get it. Which is not bad news for the manufacturers of remedies, though.


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A fair question
The city of Rome is about to go bust after the Italian parliament refused to vote for a bail-out for the not-so-Eternal City. With a deficit of over €800 MILLION, BFN is wondering if that's where Gordon Brown is hiding these days, perhaps working as a personal financial advisor to the mayor.

If you do banking by cellphone, avoid RBS and Barclays. Their banking Apps are crash-prone crApps.

The alibi doesn't wash
Ofgem has ordered the energy firms to repay £400 MILLION accumulated over 6 years by over-charging customers and not refunding the excess payments. An industry spokeswoman attempted to justify the racket by saying that the industry has much larger bad debts – as if that would excuse swindling customers who pay their way.

The Labour party is getting so desperate for cash that it is even nerving itself to take donations from Tony B. Liar.

Why is Clottish Clegg so keen on Britain staying in the EU? Personal financial gain from being on the EU payroll, is the obvious answer.

If a charity phones you and starts making noises about setting up a direct debit for 2- or 3-quid per month, apparently, it's a good idea to ask how many two or three quids it takes to pay their chief executive more than the prime minister gets.

Cynical self-interest
N. Fluck, president of the Law Society, is presiding over guidelines for solicitors telling them how to draw up wills compliant with Sharia law. As such wills will breach 'uman rights legislation in more ways than you can shake a stick at, they will result in lots of traffic to the courts and lots of cash thrust into the pockets of the legal trade. So it sounds like a swift "fluck off" from the government is needed to short-circuit this abuse. But, of course, it won't be forthcoming. Diversity, hallowed be thy name.

Far Queue List

Far Queue symbol The Abominable Harperson is being considered for a permanent place here.

Far Queue symbol The management of the Royal Bank of Scotland, which has blown the £46 BILLION bailout, which it got from the taxpayer, but continues to make losses and pay vast bonuses to people who don't deserve them.

Far Queue symbol The government has promised to protect whistle-blowers, which means that the Health Sec., J. Hunt, will be in this sin bin if he doesn't stop the Royal Wolverhampton NHS Trust from sacking a woman they recruited to fiddle death-rate figures, and who blew the whistle on the scam.

Far Queue symbol The charity Sustrans, which is claiming that people driving their kids to school is causing enough global warming to kill the planet. [Nutter warning. Ed.]

Far Queue symbol Staffordshire fire brigade and the local cops & RSPCA, who wasted £4,000 on a failed attempt to retrieve a cockatiel from a tree. It eventually had to be rescued by the 80-year-old owner.
Update SFB protested that only 7 fire-fighters were involved, they were on site for less than an hour and their time cost less than the £4,000.

Far Queue symbol D. Loughton, the £400K (plus huge pension pot) boss of the Royal Wolverhampton NHS Trust, who has been outed for blowing £6 MILLION of NHS cash on trying to suppress the efforts of whistle-blowers.

Far Queue symbol The Dorset police "service" is refusing to admit that the man in a picture showing a masked criminal is a suspect. To do so would infringe his 'uman effin' rights, these morons reckon.

Far Queue symbol Chancellor G. Osborne, if he thinks that having to pay a higher rate of income tax really does make people feel good about their success.

Far Queue symbol The BS Broadcasting Company has appointed a new economics correspondent to the BBC 2 Newsnight programme. D. Weldon has no experience of working in TV, or of reporting economics, but he is a Tory-hating, leftie-luvvie blogger and a crony of Harridan Harperson and the TUC. So no danger of political bias.

Far Queue symbol Referee A. Marriner, who sent off K. Gibbs of Arsenal for hand-ball and refused to change his mind and get it right when team-mate A. Oxlade-Chamberlain owned up to the offence.

Far Queue symbol Labour's topless poseur and equalities mouthpiece, G. de Piero, who suffered a major sense of humour failure over Tory mockery of Labour all-wimmin shortlists with a tweeted photo of a lineup of female underwear models.

Far Queue symbol The Culture Vulture Sec., M. Miller, who made a truly eye-watering profit of £1,236,000 on a second home, is being investigated for expenses abuse because she failed to reduce her claims for mortgage interest when the rate fell. She sees no reason to resign, which means she has embraced the New Labour Code of Misconduct. Had she been on benefits, she could have ended up in gaol. But being an MP means you get away with it.

Far Queue symbol Dr. R. Williams, the ex-Archbish of Cantab, and his hair-shirt, doom 'n' gloom, bleeding all over the world symphony backing the Great Global Warming Fraud and blaming "the rich West" for wrecking the planet based on unfounded and fraudulent "evidence".

Far Queue symbol "Far queue, far queue very much!" – Frank Zappa.

The Far Queue: the traditional parking place for everything "not wanted on voyage".

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Created for Romiley Anarchists' League by workers in revolt against oppression
to set the record straight in the 3rd millennium. © RAL, March MM14.