BlackFlag News
 
 2013/August 
  final
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SO WHERE IS IT? BFN's employees, their relatives and everyone we know (and a lot of people we don't know) are still waiting for our share of the $1M Nobel prize awarded to the people of the European Union rather than its eurocrats, who are bound to steal it.

Hangover question: The last issue ever last month? No! Not by a long chalk.


 CORRECTIONS & CLARIFICATIONS

The UKIP MEP Godfrey Bloom has been quoted as talking about "bongo-bongo land" in the context of Britain's overseas aid. What he actually said was "bunga-bunga land", where every government minister and state employee is expected to take a bung from the British taxpayer's enforced generosity as of right.

 NO WAR (YET) NEWS 

Tories refuse to stick hand in mangle
+ + + Parliament frustrates O'Bummer/Cameron plan to open new front in Syria + + + cruise missile manufacturers' shares fall + + + Government recalls New Labour spin doctors to work on dodgy dossier on Syria in the style of Tony B. Liar's dossier on Iraq + + + Tory rebels sing theme to CSI:Miami – "We won't get fooled again!" – in Commons chamber + + + E. Milibandit takes opportunity to face both ways on bombing issue simultaneously + + + Cameron has to hide behind Russian veto in UN + + + Cameron declares war on Tory party + + + Cameron loses + + + D. Milipede recalled from USA to lead Government of National Unity + + +

There is no proof that the Assad regime is directly responsible for using chemical weapons – if they were used at all. It could have been a convenient stooge outfit. Or Assad's one-legged brother, who was blown up last year by rebels and wants revenge. Lots of it.

The Russians are sending some gunboats to the eastern Mediterranean as a cage-rattling exercise.

Poisoned well of public trust = making people even more sceptical and less likely to believe, and go along with, political lies, the delusions of governments and Dave the Leader's attempt to cling to Pres. O'Bummer's coat tails as he machos off for war in Syria.

O'bummer one with cheese-eating surrender monkeys (any port in a crisis)
Are we worried that Britain has been replaced in the affections of the USA by the perfidious French? Are we worried that we won't be obliged to share the blame when the Yanks and the Frogs start blasting bits of Syria to Hell? Are we sorry that Disaster-prone Dave went from shambles to defeat in the Commons, with lots of help from the perfidious E. Milibandit? "No!" to all of the above coupled with relief that we didn't get lumbered with another foreign war. [For the moment. Ed.]

Quotation of the month
"Intervening in Syria is as sensible as poking a finger into a box of scorpions."

Romiley News
ROMILEY NEWS
 

Bredbury recycling centre finds a new way to get rid of waste

Romiley's air quality had to be monitored closely for pollution from the nearby major fire, which began on the third Tuesday of the month and was expected to burn for at least a week. An area the size of Romiley Rec, packed with inflammable materials like paper and plastic, went up in flames during the night.
   The smoke gave the Highways Agency an excuse to close the M60, at the usual great inconvenience to motorists. The council was quick to issue a warning that bin collections would be delayed or cancelled as a result of the closure of the recycling centre, turning Romiley into a fire hazard due to full blue bins and dry weather.
Romiley has an unfortunate history of being polluted by Bredbury: see an earlier issue of BFN.

 PRE-ELECTION NEWS 

Real Tories strike back
It's not just Eddie-baby Milipede who's unpopular. A poll this month found that 13% of committed Tory voters have decided to withhold their vote at the next election if the party fails to listen to the Ditch Dave campaign and elect a leader who is a proper Conservative with proper Conservative values. [Or even some values? Ed.]

If E. Milibandit is keeping quiet because he has nothing to say, that suggests he does have one admirable, and unusual, quality for a politician.

 WAR NEWS 

World War I – the REAL facts
In order to avoid upsetting our German allies in the EU during the events to commemorate the sacrifices and sheer awfulness of World War I, BFN will be pushing over the next 5 years, the official EU line that it was started by aliens disguised as Germans, and it was these aliens who were fought to an armistice in November 1918.

Unite in North Korea!
The dinosaur-led trade unions Unite + the teaching unions want schoolkids to have lessons in how to strike and how to disrupt the running of an organization like . . . a school. They also want kids to be taught how to harass local businesses with bogus protests. Next on the agenda, no doubt, will be "spontaneous" outbreaks in the classroom of hymns praising the Glorious Leader.

Not me, Gov!
The Russians suddenly decided that it would be a good idea for the UN weapons inspectors to investigate the alleged mass murder by sarin inflicted on the anti-Assad faction in Syria. Does this mean the weapons used were Chinese and the Putinocracy was hoping to score some clean-hands point? Probably.

"Data mule D. Miranda should quit whining and count himself lucky not to be parked at Guantanamo Bay as an enemy agent."

Not me, Gov! Part II or "More Conspiracy Theory"
The nerve gas used by the Assad regime on its opponents was Russian but the evidence will have gone by the time any UN weapons inspectors are allowed to visit the atrocity site, and that's why the Putinocracy isn't stopping them.

E. Milibandit's approval rating is so low that it wouldn't be visible even if he were triplets.

Dave the Leader and Pres. O'Bummer are hell-bent on starting a new war in the Middle East. They will open the new front in Syria with a bombardment of cruise missiles.

Hang on a minute, Dave!
MPs from all parties are demanding a recall of Parliament and a chance to vote before Dave and Billy Hague start firing off cruise missiles at Syria.
Pres. O'Bummer is seeking to play the good cop role over Syria, but the only way Dave the Leader is seen as a bad cop involved "bad" in the sense of useless rather than dangerously ruthless.

Where is Tony B. Liar, the official Middle East peace envoy, whilst all this is going on? Taking a tour of luxury yachts in the Med. So much for his boasts of "toiling for peace".

 DAFT NEWS 

You can tell it's the Silly Season!
What else could it be when one of the newspapers comes up with a story about rogue SAS agents being responsible for killing Princess Diana? [And didn't the Daily Disaster enjoy the excuse to fill up the paper with even more pictures of her? Ed.] Apparently, Scotland Yard is "scoping" the information, which makes the spokestwit who came out with that notion sound like a very dated (1990s) PR lackey.

Moron the Silly Season
Prince Charles has parked a network of moles throughout the civil service and he now has absolute control of all government departments, including the cabinet office. When questioned about the network, his official spokesperson is believed to have responded: "If we had [done it], do you think we've be daft enough to admit it?"

According to the Liberal party pensions minister, God is a Liberal. Which certainly explains a lot, when you think about it.

 CORRUPTION NEWS 

Corruption scandal engulfs Spanish Government
This is the background to the Spanish government's assault on Gibraltar:
   A huge corruption scandal is ongoing in Spain involving the Partido Popular, several Ministers and the current Prime Minister, Mariano Rajoy.
   It involves accusations of bribery, money laundering, tax evasion, awarding public contracts without following the proper legal procedures, giving envelopes with money to prominent party members (possibly illegal commissions paid in exchange for public contracts), operating an undeclared Swiss bank account containing €22 million, and secret hand-written copies of the party's illegal accountancy records, which name leading members of the party, including the prime minister.
   The People’s Party is denying everything and the prime minister has nothing to say for himself. Some of those named, however, have admitted that information in the accounts concerning them is true.
   The People’s Party created a “tax amnesty” for those who had failed to declare large amounts of money. The former treasurer of the party, Luis Bárcenas, had admitting using this amnesty on €11 million, and it has been suggested that the amnesty was created especially for the benefit of people like him.
The People’s Party has been cutting social welfare in Spain, reducing unemployment benefits, closing medical centres, cutting public services and allowing quick and cheap layoffs of labour. It is therefore in desperate need of a Foreign Adventure, like the ill-fated assault on the Falkland Islands launched by Spain's ally, Argentina, in 1982.

The Greeks are demanding a 3rd bailout; just a modest £8.6 BILLION; but there can be no further austerity measures attached to it.

COMPETITION

Whose Knobbly Knees Are These?

Answers to the usual address by the end of the month, please.

 SPYING NEWS 

If you don't know what evil is . . .
Google is the subject of a class action brought in San José, California, to prevent the world's biggest spy organization from reading emails and using the content to target adverts. Google claims that it has a right to read any mail it delivers. Its gmail customers liken the data burglary to a postman assuming he has the right to open and read all the mail he delivers.

More spin and derision
And "innocent" Brazilian bloke was hauled off an airliner and brutally questioned by secret police, without a solicitor, for 9 hours. Surprise! He turned out to be the boyfriend of an anti-American American working for theGrauniad, he was acting as a data mule and carrying copies of stolen US secrets [rather like the 2 British women held in Peru as coke mules except he's not claiming anyone held a gun to his head] and the solicitor he asked for took 8 hours to reach the airport.
   The computer hard disk drives smashed at theGrauniad's offices all held parts of the same bundle of stolen data and they were on a network open to hacking by Russian, Chinese and other enemy agents, but surprise! there have been no dawn arrests of staff working for theGrauniad.
   theGrauniad is playing the victim card in all directions whilst suppressing inconvenient parts of the truth like any common criminal caught in the act and wriggling on a hook.

 BOGGLED MINDS 

Just what is a sacking offence, then?
A copper was fired for skiving off duty for a spot of rumpy-pumpy with someone else's wife. But he has been reinstated. Why? Because he's a firearms officer and whilst his trousers were around his ankles, the appeal panel ruled that his gun was still within reach and available for use if anyone needed shooting by an hysterical copper.

Talk big, drown in detail
The Archbish of Cantab is planning to put Wonga.com out of business with his own payday loan firm, which will offer affordable interest rates. But it won't be ready to go for another 10 years, so Wonga is hardly trembling in its collective boots.

Enough people can stop anything!
West Sussex police have set an interesting precedent by refusing to protect the company which is doing a test-drilling for oil in Balcombe because an anti-fracking mob threatened to hold a riot there and the police decided they couldn't afford to get involved.
   So if enough people threaten to cause trouble somewhere, they can stop more or less anything happening. Like work on the H2S train line getting started, like preventing by-elections from being held, like preventing secret courts from sitting – or even Parliament. We face an interesting future and, perhaps, total paralysis because there are always lots of people opposed to everything.

Crime News
 LEGAL CRIME NEWS 

Have they no shame? Apparently not

In her will, the late Joan Edwards left her estate to the government of the day to be spent as it may think fit. Instead of using the £520,000 to pay off a bit of the national debt, or something else of use to the poor old taxpayer, Dishonest Dave & Calamity Clegg chose to trouser the cash as donations to their respective parties. As Labour is no more honest, we are now left wondering how many other "bequests to the nation" have been effectively stolen by morally bankrupt politicians.

Don't start cheering yet
The workforce has reached a record 30 million. Good news? Well, not really as a million of them are people who would have been retired and living on a pension if Gordon Brown and New Labour hadn't stolen it from them.

More misconduct in office?
Some genius at the Can't Prosecute Service has decided not to prosecute the copper who tasered a blind man in Chorley last October. The copper was ruled to have taken "appropriate action" and he doesn't even have to get his eyes tested. [Or his head examined for signs of morbid hysteria. Ed.]

 DIRTY TRIX NEWS 

Backfire
The campaign by Labour, the Tories and theGrauniad to sleaze UKIP MEPs and candidates seems to be going in an unplanned direction. Fairly innocent remarks made by the targets are reaching a wider audience and, stripped of the sleazers' spin, they can be seen to be eminently sensible. Why, for instance, are we letting Pakistan buy fighter aircraft with money borrowed by the British government (and added to our national debt) when we can't afford to buy the same aircraft for the RAF?

Too obvious for the govt. to get?
The Home Sec. is in trouble for hiding parts of a report on our non-existent border security; mainly in connection with bogus asylum seekers sneaking into Britain on Eurostar trains. But the solution to this problem is simple. Asylum seekers are supposed to claim asylum in the first safe country they reach. So if they choose not to do it in France or Belgium, they're obviously not entitled to apply for asylum in Britain and they can be chucked out forthwith. Or they could be, if the Coalition had any backbone.

Don't mention the aid!
Dave the Leader proved how out of touch with reality he is when he joined the chorus of usual suspects and aid vultures, which is trying to gag MEP G. Bloom, who is offering good sense on the aid shambles. Meanwhile, Dave is so worried that his own ministers will have an attack of honesty when asked about the fraud and theft associated with overseas aid that he has banned them from talking about it.

+ + + Labour has big moan about British jobs going to migrants + + + Who was it who opened up our borders to all these migrants in the first place? + + + Wasn't it New Labour? + + + Oh, hypocrisy, thy name is C. Bryant [this is the guy who put a picture of himself in his underpants on the InterWeb – Ed.] + + + And didn't Wee Gordie Broon promise "British jobs for British workers"? + + + And didn't he fail to deliver? + + +

Models of veracity – not!
Remember those police and crime commissioners, who were wished on us? Two of them are in trouble for lying about where they live. The commissioner for North Wales really lives 175 miles away, in Cardiff, and the commissioner for Hampshire actually lives 115 miles away in Northamptonshire. So two of the characters charged with hiring and firing chief constables and acting the part of the old borough police authority don't think the people paying their wages deserve the truth.

Equal opportunity policing
If they arrest the police commissioners who lied about where they live, are the police going to have to do the same for all the parliamentary candidates who were parachuted into a constituency and falsely claimed to live there? It sounds right up the street of the modern, post-New-Labour police "service", which no longer concerns itself with real crime.

 CLIMATE NEWS 

global warming sloganReds in the bushes!
MI5 has a new BIG job on its hands — sorting the enemy agents from the stooges and dilettantes in the ranks of the "ecowarriors" who are trying to prevent Britain from using its shale gas deposits. The big problem is screening out the sheer numbers of what V.I. Lenin called "useful idiots" in circulation. Many of these people bought the failing Great Global Warming Scam and they are now seeking alternative scaremongering opportunities as an alternative to working for a living. A significant number of others are offspring of "celebs", who are seeking attention through notoriety as they lack the talent to raise their own big bucks and become celebs in their own right.

global warming sloganReds in the bushes – and everywhere else!
A ragbag army of usual suspects from all over the picked the Balcombe, Sussex, drilling site for a boozy festival with violence disguised as an anti-fracking protest – ignoring the fact that the drilling here was for oil, not down to the shale deposits, and the company concerned had already decided that it could do better elsewhere.

 REPRESSION NEWS 

Back off!
The Food Standards Agency has delivered a kick to the goolies of the 'Elf 'n' Narzi brigade by telling them that home-made cakes CAN be sold at school fetes and other community events because they are NOT covered by EU laws on food hygiene.
   The narzis have been chucking their weight around and banning everything in sight to make life miserable for others, which they seem to believe is their mission in life. [About time someone in authority showed a bit of common sense. Ed.]

What's a "big man"?
He's someone who apologizes for a hideous mistake right away, not someone who waits until the Daily Disaster shames him into apologizing, as appears to have happened in the case of Dave the Leader's grovel to wrongfully dismissed Tory treasurer P. Cruddas.

 SPORT NEWS 

Gold Medal Assured
Pres. Putin is hot favourite to win the Best of Show medal in the Rhino Rodeo to be held in Vladivostok next month. The highest points are awarded to the event involving bulldogging and hog-tying a full-size rhino, [The wimpy cowboys in North America use a calf. Ed.] and his Putinness is said to excel at this event.

Getting there, but not quite
British rider on pole for the Czech MotoGP, falls off while trying too hard. British driver on pole for the Belgian Grand Prix, finishes a very distant 3rd. Let us hope this doesn't become a trend.

 HEALTH NEWS 

Barbeque warning
If you have to take a ride in a Mercedes ambulance, be very worried. The engines fitted to the Mercedes Benz 515 series have a history of bursting into flames and destroying the ambulance!

Scrounger warning
The Health Sec., J. Hunt, has done the taxpayer for 4 grand on his expenses for Mandarin lessons so that he can talk to the Chinese parents of his WAG.

Screw the customer
The Advertising Standards Authority has found the NHS guilty of misleading the public over the cost of making premium-rate 0844 phone calls, especially to GP surgeries.
No bonuses will be harmed by the ASA's ruling.

Taking responsibility?
The Berwick Review of the NHS recommends that NHS staff and those providing services to the NHS should face criminal charges if they neglect or harm patients. Which raises the interesting prospect of Stafford hospital being closed as a hospital and reopened as a prison.

In the Independent Republic of Scotland, a good helping of jam on a slice of toast counts as one of the ludicrous 5-a-day.

Oh, no! Those copper bracelets that people wear to cure all sorts of complains might actually be giving them Alzheimer's disease.

PUBLIC APPEAL

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Comic Relief

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Christian Aid

£124K

Oxfam GB

£120K

Crime News
 CRIME NEWS 

No change, then?

Another child is murdered, the parents are sent to prison for "life", there is an inquiry, the public servants who knew that something was wrong, but did nothing, will get their bonuses and no one is to blame. It's Shoesmith's Law in action. So it was in the past, so it will be in the future.

Bonuses were NOT affected
Just what counts as misconduct in office? The bosses of the quango Creative Scotland (legitimate expenditure £3,800/month) turned a blind eye to illegal charges to their official credit cards amounting to £13,000/month. And when their auditor pointed out that £104,000 had been stolen via fraudulent transactions between December 2010 and July 2011, the quangocrat bosses refused to report the fraud to the police.
[Well, it's only taxpayers' money. Ed.}

The Hysterical Coppers of the Month Award
. . . goes to the 18 West Mercia coppers, who assaulted a couple at gunpoint, wrecked their home and held them prisoner for 4 hours whilst the coppers worked out that their TV remote control wasn't a firearm.
The Hysterical Idiot of the Month Award
. . . goes the paramedic who went to a house in Hereford, couldn't tell a TV remote control from a gun and phoned for some hysterical coppers.

What is the Serious Fraud Office really serious about?
1. Making unauthorized mega-payments to executives after using personal email accounts to hide discussions of payments which would not be authorized if they were exposed to the light of day.
2. Losing 32,000 pages of documents, 81 audio files and an uncounted number of CDs, DVDs and memory sticks relating to a bribery case against BAe Systems.

How do drugs & contraband get into prisons?
In the case of a gaol "somewhere in the Midlands", the gang on the outside phones their convict inside man to tell him when they plan to use a giant catapult to fire a parcel of loot over the wall.

Why is Napoleon Bonapart, who got millions of people killed all across Europe and the Middle East, revered whilst Adolf Hitler is reviled? Discuss.

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 DOSH NEWS 

Further annoying phone calls on the way
The Next Big Thing after compensation for mis-sold PPI insurance will be compensation for illegal parking charges made by local councils. The councils in England suffered a setback last month when a judge ruled that under the Road Traffic Regulation Act (1984), it is illegal for councils to use profits from parking schemes for any other purpose. The resident who brought the case received a refund of the illegal fees charged and ambulance-chasers in the legal trade are now preparing to bombard the nation with pre-recorded phone calls, texts and spam emails offering their services in the cause of compensation.
93% of the councils in England face being hauled into court by swindled motorists unless they make speedy reparations.

Another £53 MILLION wasted
That's how much it will cost to sack a company, which was awarded a contract to provide NHS services at a hospital in Stevenage. Patients died, Clinicenta lost the records of other patients, and the company generally provided a rotten "service". Local GPs stopped referring patients to them but, thanks to New Labour, the firm is guaranteed its reward for failure and a huge buy-out fee for the contract. Thanks, Ed, Gordon & Ed.

They're all at it
M&S faces an unscheduled drop in profits as a result of bamboozling its customers into making M&S their energy suppliers. In-store sales staff mugged grannies (and others) with New Labour-style dodgy dossiers, which promised huge savings. Ambulance-chasing lawyers are now gearing up to bombard the nation with phone calls offering to get them compensation.

It was just Luvvie Loot
Surprise! The Arts seem to be flourishing despite reductions in public funding because New Labour spent us into bankruptcy. Which kind of suggests that real artists will carry on when the quangocrats and talentless hangers-on turn elsewhere in search of a free lunch.
Nominations are now open for the person who did the most to put the rat into quangocrat in 2012.

Definitions for Today (or Mandelsleaze 'n' Clegg explained)
EU pension: money given to a state hireling for treason to his country.
          (from an original thought by Dr. S. Johnson)

Thanks a bunch, mate!
The (Canadian) governor of the Bank of England will keep the bank rate at rock bottom until at least 2016. It will swindle savers out of zillions of pounds but it will "benefit their children and grandchildren", sez the Guv. And if they don't have any children, they can just drop dead because they don't matter?

Economic consequences
Dual fuel costs went up 85% between 2005 and 2011, energy consumption went down 25% over the same period because poor people and those not on benefits were priced out of the market. Similarly, the amount of domestic refuse is down by 14% on 2008 levels due to falling incomes and falling consumer spending.

Is the H2S rail link nothing more than a Tory-Liberal cargo cult, which the Labour party has also bought?

Poisoned popularity
Britain is being flooded with economic refugees from the southern disaster areas of the eurozone. Which means that the government's attempts to cut migration from beyond the EU are being rendered meaningless by the scramble to get here from Greece, Portugal and Spain.
Some good news, however: Germany is prospering and Germans are migrating out of Britain and going home.

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travel news
 TRAVEL NEWS 


Get ready to boggle
The latest twist to the saga of the Spanish passenger train which crashed at 120 mph on a 50-limit bend is that the driver was too busy making a phone call to the national railway company and studying some printed document or other to put on his brakes.

A fortune in tax but still no highway
If you have to drive to the parts of Yorkshire which suffered flash floods at the end of last month, don't expect to complete your journey. Roads already full of potholes have been ripped to pieces by surging torrents, making them completely unnavigable. The councils concerned have no plans to do any repairs until they have rattled their begging bowls under the combined noses of the Coalition instead of cutting back on perks for staff and councillors.

Another scam in operation
Councils in Scotland have come up with a new way to persecute motorists. They spray potholes with yellow paint and refuse to pay compensation to the owners of vehicles damaged by them on the entirely spurious ground that the repair "is in the system", even if there is no immediate prospect of any repair work being performed. Motorists are expected to take the time and trouble to sue the council for damages.

Another scam coming?
The Spanish government is planning to harass people travelling to and from Gibraltar by charging them €50 per border crossing. Is it too much to expect for our wimpish Coalition to charge Spanish passport holders a similar fee – say, €500 – for entering and leaving the UK? Come on, Billy Hague, get your ass in gear.

Is there anything Ryanair won't do to swindle the customers?
If you are foolish enough to buy something from the dinner lady's trolley on a Ryanair flight, be aware that it is company policy for her to try to swindle you out of your change. The company training manual includes a whole section on excuses for not coughing up the cash.

EU proposes MoT for caravans
Is this for safety reasons? No, the EU has been lobbied by spivs, who expect to make a lot of loot out of the scam, some of which, natch, will end up in the EU's coffers.

NOTICE: Spanish visitors to this website are now subject to a €37.50 access tax.

70% of company directors, especially those in the North, who are supposed to benefit most from it, think that the H2S rail link will do nothing at all for their business and the money would be better spent on lots of smaller schemes than on one huge disaster.

space news
 SPACE NEWS 

The alibis are being put into place early

Comet ISON was billed as an Event of the Century during the period November 2013 to January 2014. When it was first spotted, experts began to predict that it would be 15 times brighter than the moon, have a massive tail and be visible in daylight. But the tune is starting to change. The comet has not shown any brightening in the last 6 months and the experts don't know quite what to make of that, but they are now leaning toward as big a non-event as Comet Halley's last pass.
Comet ISON's orbit has such a low eccentricity that it will probably make just one trip through the solar system. From what is being said now, it might as well not have bothered.

World's Weakest Excuse?
International Development Sec. J. Greening thinks it is okay for British taxpayers to pay for Nigeria's space programme as it helps them with weather forecasting. She has received "strong backing" from Dave the Leader of the Monster Raving Party on this.
[Maybe this item belongs in a SPACED OUT section? Ed.]

Entertainer C. Cole's whole-bum rose tattoo is reputed to have taken 15 hours to complete. Does this amount to a coded accusation that she has a bum as big as an elephant's?

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Home News
 HOME NEWS 
UK Flag

A good place to start
The answer to internet trolls has to include changing the status of Twitter, etc. from notice board to publisher, which is responsible for the content displayed on the website. The threat of criminal libel actions and huge damages payments is bound to force the buggers to screen what is post in their space!

+ + + Vicky Pryce has Order of the Bath removed + + + It's strictly showers only from now on + + +

No doubt left
Does Unite have Ed Milibandit in the union's collective pocket? Are all the Labour candidates with a chance of becoming an MEP Unite people rather than local Labour people? Case closed.

Technophobe or just dim?
A café in Millom has won the local council's "In Bloom" competition in the past. But the owners were disqualified from this year's contest because the mayor and another judge "were unable to find the site". So it looks like that part of Cumbria has a mayor who is too dim to make a phone call to ask for better directions. Which doesn't say much about the rest of the council.

It doesn't work with some people
People say they might take Nick Clegg a bit more seriously if he had ever done a real day's work in his life. But look at John Prescott. He used to have a proper job but no one takes him seriously.

The Man of the Month
It has to be UKIP MEP G. Bloom, who gave the usual suspects and the aid industry the hump by denouncing the scandal of aid paid out with no control of how the money is spent and no fraud prevention measures.

Usual Suspect Network in action
Ministers and civil servants aren't supposed to walk out of office/Whitehall into private sector jobs in the same area? Not since New Labour changed the rules and certainly not for disgraced energy minister C. Huhne, who is still on licence after serving a derisory amount of his gaol sentence for perverting the course of justice. Three months out of gaol, he has strolled into a job with a firm taking advantage of the great global warming swindle.

Highlights of the Month
C. Bryant [a.k.a. Captain Underpants], tied up in Gordian knots over New Labour's immigration policy, forced to admit that it was a catastrophe, like his condemnation of Tesco and Next for hiring migrant labour as a matter of preference.
Ryanair shamed into refunding the cost of a ticket after the customer died, but only after her son threatened to strap an urn containing his mother's ashes to her seat and put a video of it on U-Tube.

Are older workers job-blocking young hopefuls?
The older the worker is, the less likely he/she is to have been exposed to the looney, trendy Lefties, who wrecked the education system from the 1970s on, and an oldie is more likely to be able to write, spell, do arithmetic, talk to someone in English and actually turn up for work occasionally. Mainly because there was still a work ethic when that person left education.

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world news
 WORLD NEWS 

The Russian "Photo of the Year" we really want to see!
It has to be one of Vlad of all the Putins fighting his way out of a shark, like the spoof photograph displayed by an Aussie prankster in the lobby of an hotel in Victoria.

Pres. Mug wins again in Zimbabwe
The president for life of this benighted country – once the bread-basket of Africa – has hit on a new sure-fire way to win. He doesn't let supporters of any opponents vote!

The lesson of history is that no one learns from it, least of all politicians?
Germany is ending subsidies to solar power, having found it to be a total waste of billions of euros. Is it too much to hope that the Coalition will accept the German experience instead of wasting billions of pounds of our money to reach the same conclusion? Probably not.

Pull the other one!
A Turkish professor, who is doing a dig in Sinop with funding from the EU [Why? Ed.], is claiming that his team has found a piece of the "True Cross" in the ruins of a 7th century church.
If all the known pieces of the "True Cross" were glued end-to-end, they would reach half-way to Mars!

Corruption scandal in Spain much worse than suspected
The Argentine government, in deep trouble at home, picked a fight with the Falkland Islands. The Spanish government has just picked a fight with Gibraltar. 'Nuff said.
Someone clearly hasn't told Dave about this, but Britain is sending a gunboat to Gib to keep the unruly neighbours in order. A mini-fleet of 10 ships will be holding exercises off the Rock, including the aircraft carrier which no longer has any fighter aircraft after the Harrier was scrapped. [And using fishing boats which invade Gib's territorial waters for target practice? Ed.]

One the scale of international honesty, Nigeria's corrupt leadership comes 172nd out of 215 nation states.

Spot the discrepancy
The war on terror has been won by killing O. bin Laden, according to Pres. O'Bummer. Yet the US felt the need to close 19 embassies in the Middle East and North Africa at the start of this month because of the threat of terrorist attacks.

Aid wars
The quangocracy of the People's Democracy of Bungaland has announced that it is prepared to go to war with the neighbouring oppressive regime, the People's Republic of Bunganda, if it does not receive parity of overseas aid from the UK. Foreign Secretary W. Hague would like to send a gunboat, but both nations are land-locked and the fleet is currently tied up protecting Gibraltar from the Spanish government, which is up to its eyebrows in domestic difficulties and desperately seeking a distraction.

Far Queue List

Far Queue symbol The BBC Trust, which has made telling the truth on Welfare bloat, and ignoring the Leftie Luvvie cover-up, more or less a sacking offence.

Far Queue symbol Dave the Leader over his shameful treatment of former Tory party treasurer P. Cruddas, who was awarded damages of £180,000 against Times Newspapers by a judge who had plenty to say about the way Dave gave Mr. Cruddas the sack instead of a fair hearing.

Far Queue symbol Sir I. Andrews, chairman of SOCA, has been forced to quit because of misconduct. He failed to declare his interest in his own consulting firm. He had no experience of policing and law enforcement when he was given the job after retiring from the civil service, but that's the way things operate in the quangocracy.

Far Queue symbol Liberal president T. Farron, who is siding with Britain's enemies in their attempts to prevent the country from exploiting shale gas.

Far Queue symbol Tony B. Liar and G.W. Bush got a $1.5B damages award to relatives of victims of Libyan state-sponsored terrorism blocked as a favour to dead dictator M. Gaddaffy.

Far Queue symbol West Yorkshire Fire "Service" bugs one of its employees but no one is dragged out of bed by coppers making a dawn raid.

Far Queue symbol The HoCC Squeaker and failed Marx Brother, Berco, is on a world tour at the taxpayer's expense. The bill expected to top £200,000.

Far Queue symbol Back in 2009, the BBC covered up a report showing that its executives were being paid 3x the going rate for the private sector as part of its encouragement of a "fill yer boots" culture.

Far Queue symbol Labour's deputy leader, H. Harperson, has stopped agitating for tougher laws for bookmakers. Her son has just got a job with one.

Far Queue symbol E. Milibandit has dropped his former opposition to zero-hours contracts on a matter of principle because most Labour councils use them.

Far Queue symbol Prof. A. Andrews (Labour adviser), who thinks thieves, pickpockets and fraudsters should never, ever be sent to gaol.

Far Queue symbol Leicestershire police, which charged a father and son with attempted murder after they ventured onto the roof of their business to retrieve a Romanian serial burglar when the police refused to do anything. [A judge threw the case out of his court. Ed.]

Far Queue symbol The operators of the zoo in Luohe City, Hunan, China, who tried to tell visitors that a hairy Tibetan dog was a lion.

Far Queue symbol The Grauniad journalist, who used his Brazilian boyfriend as a data mule for stolen US military secrets and waxed indignant when the guy was caught and arrested.

Far Queue symbol Tracy EminM and Damien Pickle-Cow: proof that dreadfuls cost a lot more than a penny these days.

Far Queue symbol D. Miranda, who chose to travel via London – the place where he was most likely to be stopped – whilst carrying CIA data stolen by E. Snowden and theGrauniad, which was paying for his journey.

Far Queue symbol D. Miranda, the Grauniad One, for being hypocritical enough as to demand compensation for being the agent of his own misfortune and a reward for his failure to exercise good judgement over his travel arrangements.

Far Queue symbol G. Lineker, who thinks he's worth more than the £1,500,000/year he gets from the BBC for talking about football.

Far Queue symbol theGrauniad, which believes it should be immune from charges of paying for trafficking stolen data.

Far Queue symbol How much does Tony B. Liar hope to make out of helping to start a war with Syria?

Far Queue symbol The Stop the War tourists, who blocked traffic in London 2 days after Parliament had voted not to bomb Syria, and claimed they'd made a difference.

Far Queue symbol Brighton & Hove council (Green party), which locked a park's gates against an invasion of gypsies then opened them again in case the public nuisances injured themselves whilst trying to break in to the park.

Far Queue symbol The Gloucestershire constabulary, which has decided that it has a duty to be impartial and independent, and not get in the way of animal rights terrorists who attempt to disrupt a perfectly legal badger cull.

Far Queue symbol "Far queue, far queue very much!" – Frank Zappa.

The Far Queue: the traditional parking place for everything "not wanted on voyage".

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Created for Romiley Anarchists' League by workers in revolt against oppression
to set the record straight in the 3rd millennium. © RAL, August MM13.