Black Flag News
2002/April
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Bill Lascom
Stockport Times East
Dave Thompson
Manchester Metro News

Romiley Polluted By Black Cloud

Smoke from burning plastic bread baskets at a Bredbury bakery blacked out the skies over Romiley on Tuesday, 2002/04/16. The black pillar could be seen 15 miles away in Rochdale and Oldham, and airline pilots inbound to Manchester's Ringway airport were warned to avoid it.
   The fire was blamed on grass fires started by kids next to the bakery's boundary fence. Fifty firefighters tackled the major blaze, which caused evening rush hour chaos in the immediate area. The fire was officially out at 6:30 p.m. after 2 hours but fire crews were on the scene for a further 2 hours making things safe.

Mugger Flies His Budgie

After all the kite-flying and leaks and deliberate misinformation - remember when it was a sacking offence for the chancellor to leak budget plans? Remember when politicians actually got the sack for crimes against truth, honour and the British people?
   Let's start again.
   After all the kite-flying and leaks and deliberate misinformation, the Mugger (G. Brown, Chancellor, ruined pensions & savings with his Stealth Taxes, Ed.) has flown his budgie and he's sticking taxes up, allegedly to pay for the NHS. But we know what he's really going to do with the money -- stick a good piece of it in his "War Chest".
   Buying the last election cost his party an estimated £8.3 billion. Buying another win in 2005 or 2006 will cost a massive £14.8 billion in bungs at the last estimate, bearing in mind that his outfit will have to explain why they've done nothing in 2 terms in office instead of 1 term.
   So how is the Mugger hoping to raise all this cash? Simple. The bigger the pot, the easier it is to steal relatively small amounts from it. When the business is turning over hundreds of pounds, the crafty employee can nick the odd tenner. Similarly, thousands can "go missing" when millions of pounds are sloshing around.
   And when you're talking about a nation's tax revenues, well, making £14.8 billion disappear over a number of years is no problem for the experienced politician.

Fashion Victims

Gazumping, that sport developed in the Spendthrift Eighties, is back in fashion again. The lemmings are hurling themselves off financial cliffs again by taking out morgages of up to five times their salary!
   Tony Blair has tried his best to be Margaret Thatcher in the past. Is this another sign that he's trying to do us a favour by recreating the Good Old Days of the 1980s in the 21st Century?


POLITICAL CHAT

"They're doing a grand job - aren't they?"

"Isn't the Vice-Prez (A.L. Blair, British prime minister, perceived as subservient to G.W. Bush, President of USA, Ed.) looking haggard these days?"
   "Yeah, not so much demon eyes as double-glazed!"
   "Maybe the poor sod needs another free holiday."
   "The problem is, after 5 years of globe-trotting at the taxpayer's expense, finding somewhere new for him to freebie is a real pain."
   "Maybe the Mugger's hoping the strain will get too much for him and he'll go on holiday permanently. And let the Mugger take his turn at being the Vice-Prez."
   "Only we all know that ain't going to happen. Because EVERYONE hates the Mugger."
   "Hey, the feck's (Irish expletive, Ed.) the idea of sending Fat Johnny (J. Prescott deputy prime minister, Old Labour dinosaur included in New Labour for purely cosmetic reasons, Ed.) the idea of sending Fat Johnny on a jaunt to talk about global warming? The feck does he know about it?"
   "Maybe the Vice-Prez thinks having him a few thousand miles away is an excellent plan for making sure he doesn't do anything else embarassing at home."
   "Hey, what if he slugs someone?"
   "Yeah, that would be a real hoot!"
   "And another thing, where does anyone get the idea the Mugger has any sort of reputation for fiscal know-how? He's a professional politician. He knows sod all about the real world and even less about economics."
   "Right! All he does is give public money to his cronies in the hope they'll come up with gimmicks that'll make him look good and maximize his slice of the public pie."
   "Pity he doesn't know any with any good ideas, then!"
   "Mind you, experience of the real world isn't always a recommendation. Giving the top job at the BBC to a merchant banker mate of the Mugger? What's that all about?"
   "That and picking the bloke who made a bog of running the NatWest bank to sort out the NHS? Talk about getting your alibis in place good and early!"
   "Still, come Black Flag Day, we'll get to string the Mugger up from an exceptionally high lamp post."
   "Yeah, it's the least we can do to show our appreciation."


PLANNING AHEAD

Take Notes, Take Action

There is a growing perception that criminals from minority groups in the population are becoming untouchable through the doctrine that all minorities are oppressed and any misdeed - from theft to murder - can be excused because of the oppression.
   But what about the time when the native population of the UK is "swamped" by the tide of illegal migrants? The boot will be on the other foot then. We Native Britons will be the untouchables then. So take notes about what's going on now and be prepared to quote these precedents in the swamped future. You know it will make sense!
   "DEMOCRACY IS GREAT - as long as the people vote the way they are told."


INTERNATIONAL NEWS

"Israel throws out hard man Sharon"

That was the headline 19 years ago when the Israeli cabinet chucked him out for his role in the massacre of thousands of Palestinians at the Sabra and Shatila refugee camps. Are we likely to see an action replay sometime soon over the Jenin massacre? Doubtful if the death toll is just a few hundreds.
   As things turned out, the headline from 1983 was a bit premature. A day later, the papers were reporting that the Israeli cabinet had let Sharon resign instead of sacking him. Why? Because if he resigned from the job of Defence Minister, he could crawl back into the cabinet as a minister without portfolio.
   Death to all fascists!

It's Okay, It's Only Friendly Fire!

The Yanks are at it again, dropping bombs on their allies - on the Canadians in Afghanistan this time. No wonder George Bush had to get the Vice-Prez to send British troops into the tough bits to sort out the bad guys.
   "We don't do mountains," his own troops said.
   "Bollocks!" we say.
   What the US forces really meant to say was, "We don't want to be anywhere near our own air force when the blind bastards are carrying live bombs."
   Survival of the Chickenest rules, OK!

Italian headbanger crashes light plane into Milan's tallest building

What was he smoking and where do we get some? And aren't pilots supposed to look out of the window occasionally?

"We did it for a laugh," says French electorate.

Tedious left-winger Lionel Jospin comes third in the presidential election 1st round behind notorious right-winger Jean-Marie Le Pen. That has to be the equivalent of the French nation telling the whole candidate list, "You're crap and you know it!"
   More of this political honesty everywhere, please!
So what is the choice for the French people? On the one hand, there's a bloke who's no more racialist than our beloved Vice-Prez - it must be true because he said so. On the other hand, there's a bloke who'd be in gaol for corruption if he wasn't in office - if the legal system were not as corrupt as any crooked politician.
   "Allez, Jean-Marie!"

Lor 'N' Orda In Greece

Looking at planes is illegal in Greece, apparently, and plane-spotting is worth 3 years in gaol. What next? Well, maybe we could adapt the idea for the UK. If just looking is a criminal offence, the justice system would have no problems over dealing with currently untouchable criminals. Picture the scene in your local courts:
   Prosecutor: "He was looking at a car, M'Lud."
   Prisoner: "I never!"
   Prosecutor: "And he has a history of it, M'Lud."
   Judge: "Twelve months. Next."
   Prosecutor: "He was looking at a house, M'Lud."
   Prisoner: "I never!"
   Prosecutor: "And he has a history of burgalries, M'Lud."
   Judge: "Three years. Next."
Another winner from the Cradle of Democracy!


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 back to topCreated for Romiley Anarchists' League by workers in revolt against oppression.
Sole RAL, April 2002.