Davy Jones, actor & jockey, 66
He was a Manchester lad who became an actor (when he really wanted to be a jockey) and appeared in Granada TV's soap Coronation Street and Broadway shows. Seeing the adoration which the Beatles received on tour in the US persuaded him to audition for the Monkees, a band manufactured for TV from a pair of folk singers and a pair of actors. Huge success, hit records, pop classics which are still well known today, lots of boozing, fights, a film called Head and having a good time followed for a while. The group split up as the 1960s drew to a close but kept having reunions, from which Mike Nesmith absented himself. The last tour included a gig at the Albert Hall in London in 2010. Davy Jones continued his acting career in the shadow of his big success, and he was able to resume his riding career, winning his first race in 1996.
We knew there had to be a reason for it!
Watching Brigadier Gerrard of Liverpool FC in action in the League Cup told us why some players celebrate so much when they score a goal. All through the match, Gerrard seemed to be trying to put the ball in the car park rather than making the Cardiff goal-keeper earn his pay. And, like his cousin, he missed his penalty kick when extra time left the sides locked at 2-2. So it's a major bloody miracle when someone like him scores and the celebration is packed with amazement as well as joy.
Billions down the drain
The BP trial for compensation following the explosion and pollution of the Gulf of Mexico could last to 2014. Especially if the lawyers are allowed to drag it out that long.
Fuses blown everywhere!
The usual suspects are in an uproar because inflation spiked in September last year and benefits are going up by 5.2% when public sector wages are frozen or going up 1%, and there's nothing much on offer to the private sector. But let us put the numbers in perspective. A 1% rise to someone on the average salary, i.e. £26K, gives them about the same amount of actual cash as the 5.2% for a pensioner and a lot more than a Jobseeker gets whilst a jumped-up, overpaid town clerk on £200K gets two grand more per year, which is 5 months' income for someone on the basic state pension.
More rewards for failure
It seems that any member of the staff of a BBC local radio station, who has been deemed unworthy of promotion for a period of 5 years, is automatically entitled to a Uselessness Bonus of £4,600. How very New Labour.
BBC 4 is the "digital factual channel of the year"? Sez who? And where was the Discovery Channel when all this was going on?
Fair and Unfair Game
According to the BBC Code, it's okay to insult Christians because they have broad shoulders, broad minds and they have to turn the other cheek. But it's nokay to insult adherents of other religions because they have a "persecuted minority" mentality and some have suicide bombers.
It really does take 2 to tango
D.A.C. S. Akers of Scotland Yard would have us believe that The Scum "created a culture of illegal payments to police". Which means what? That The Scum stuffed cash into the pockets of coppers and is 100% guilty whilst the coppers, who stood there and let their pockets be stuffed, are 100% innocent? Sounds like S. Akers is in urgent need of a reality adjustment.
Doing what comes naturally?
Former Energy Sec. C. Huhne, who had to resign in disgrace to face criminal charges, is pocketing a pay-off of £17,207 despite condemning such payments when he was not in office and not expecting ever to reach that blessed state. At a time when most people are having to make sacrifices to deal with Labour's legacy of economic mess, Hypocrite Huhne is doing what he's always done; grabbing from the taxpayer with both hands. After all, the blighter does have 8 homes to keep up.
Frank Carson, comedian, 85
"It's the way I tell 'em!" and that Belfast laugh were Frank Carson's trademark. He started his working life in the building trade, served with the Parachute Regiment in the Middle East in the late 1940s and became a professional entertainer at the age of 25. His relentless, "motormouth" style brought him success on Hughie Green's show "Opportunity Knocks" and he was a natural for Granada TV's hugely successful 1970s show The Comedians. Frank Carson never stopped working thereafter because he was always in demand, and he leaves a huge gap in the entertainment world.
The Bin Laden Bunker, age unknown
The last residence of international terrorist O. bin Laden has been demolished by the authorities in Abbottabad. The government of Pakistan, which gave him refuge for the last 5 years of his career, was being very tight-lipped about the reason for the trash-job but it is believed that denying Al Kaida a shrine; the reason why the Russians trashed large parts of Berlin after World War Two; is at the back of it.
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
He's been called the Blogger of the Decade
His intellect is matched only by the size of his luck and the size of his bank balance. And yet he manages to keep his Feet On The Ground with the greatest of ease. Do yourself a favour and find out what Xavier has had to say about what's going on Right Now!
Nice one, Dave + Cleggster!
Come the Budget, the government will be doing what all governments do stealing from pensioners. Upset that inflation spiked last September, when the pension increase is set, the government has decided to reduce pension credit to leave the poorest pensioners "feeling the pain" along with everyone else who doesn't get a chance to steal from the taxpayer by making fraudulent expenses claims.
Talking about cuts . . .
The GPs' union keeps sounding off about cuts and the government being unfair to doctors, but not a word is uttered about a scam which costs the taxpayer over £160 MILLION per year. GPs are paid a fixed amount for every name on their list, whether that person needs to use their services or not, and not updating the list to remove people who no longer live in the area, or who have died, leaves the doctor collecting a nice little bonus for the "ghost" patients.
+ + + RBS: state-owned, failed bank + + + lost £2,000,000,000 in the last year + + + paying bonuses of £400,000,000 + + + where does the money come from? + + + Lloyds TSB + + + bailed-out failed bank + + + lost £3,500,000,000 in the last year + + + managed to find £375,000,000 for bonuses + + + where does the money come from? + + +
Brilliant advertising campaigns which didn't quite make it No. 39
The Cheese of Choice of
a Really Big Cheese
A MUST for all BIG HITTERS!
On Special Offer @ Romiley Cheese Shop, 159 Riverside Drive, HURRY while stocks last . . .
The month started with temperatures of -30 deg.C in much of Eastern Europe and Britain braced itself for a flood of illegal immigrants across its porous borders as frozen foreigners sought refuge in a country which is being overheated by Global Warming, according to the BBC and the Met Office.
No sense of urgency, then?
The coroner's office in L.A. (or wherever) reckons it will take two months to come up with a cause of death for Whitney Houston, the singer, who died this month on the eve of the Grammy Awards. But if they're that stacked up with work, why don't they just sub-contract the job to CSI:Miami? Horatio and his bunch would have all the answers in about ten minutes flat around a commercial break at the most dramatic point.
Weird, or what!
A British woman, who had a top-half sex change, is pretending to be the British first "man" to have a baby. Ms Beatie is married to another Ms Beatie, so the baby girl has two moms. Now, there's a child who has an excuse for not knowing her proper "gender orientation".
Did I just read that!?
There are some truly amazing products listed on the US website for Amazon. There are even more amazing reviews added to these wonderful products. In fact, after a good exploration of what's on offer, the staff here at BFN were left wondering if anything that Amazon sells is real! Check these out to see what we mean:
* Diamond HDMI Digital Audio / Video Cable W/ Ethernet Connection (5M) by Audioquest
3.8 out of 5 stars (37)
* Birth Control is Sinful in the Christian Marriages and also Robbing God of Priesthood Children!! [Paperback]
3.3 out of 5 stars (127)
* Wenger 16999 Giant Swiss Army Knife by Wenger
3.8 out of 5 stars (71)
* AudioQuest K2 terminated speaker cable - UST plugs 8' (2.44m) pair
3.8 out of 5 stars (179)
* Uranium Ore by Images SI Inc.
3.8 out of 5 stars (324)
Nice little earner
The police and the Can't Prosecute Service have blown £10 MILLION of taxpayer's money on trying, and failing miserably, to prove that football club manager Harry Redknapp evaded paying £30,000 of income tax. It was a nice deal for all those who had their wages paid over the 5 years of the fiasco, and just another slap in the face from the "justice system" for the taxpayer.
One reason why Council Tax is so high . . .
. . . is that councils are getting away with things like: in the London area, they hired contractors to saw the heads off snowmen built in public parks and in Cambridgeshire, contractors were brought in to flatten an igloo, which was built without planning permission, on Midsummer Common presumably not by Travellers, who seem to be exempt from planning laws when they give up travelling.
Self-service policing the way forward?
It has become usual for coppers @ Scotland Yard to take photographers from The Sun along when they want self-publicity for a pre-dawn raid on someone who usually ends up being released without charge. So when they launched Stasi-style arrest and search operations against Sun journalists this month, their targets were able to photograph themselves being busted and ask their families how they felt about having their floorboards ripped up and their computers and mobile phones confiscated.
In a spirit of similar co-operation, all police officers who accepted hospitality from Sun journalists are expected to arrest and charge themselves, and all politicians who free-loaded at the expense of any member of the news media are expected to turn themselves in to Operation Clobber, the Scotland Yard operation aimed at making the Press too scared to report corruption involving the political establishment ever again.
One to watch
The campaign of pre-dawn arrests of Sun journalists suggests that new commish of the Metropolitan police, B. Hogan Hyphen Howe, was recruited from the Stasi training college following an NVQ course in posturing at RADA and a trip to the Blair Academy of Spin to polish up his pandering to politicians skills. On the other hand, there are some who claim he's an okay copper who won't spend most of his time crawling to politicians like many of his predecessors. So we'll have to see how he turns out.
'Uman rights lawyers are believed to be working on a new defence of "religious rapture" for clients accused to performing, or plotting, acts of terrorism. The script will have elements of an insanity plea and a plea that the client didn't know what he/she was doing through intoxication similar to that conveyed by drink and drugs, but the legal beavers are trying to come up with a form of words which will suggest that the acts of terrorism were justified and the loss of control during commission of an atrocity was as temporary as that caused by lots of drink or drugs. In other words, society is to blame and the criminal is innocent and the lawyer should get loads of cash out of the public purse.
Bullet dodged again
The operators of Heathrow airport (Spanish, bunch of bloody foreigners) cancelled half of their flights to give themselves some slack should serious amounts of snow arrive. Which made them very popular with everyone who tried to use the airport and failed to zoom of to somewhere distant.
Here at Romiley International Airport, everything remained effortlessly well under control mainly because our snow experience was just a scattering on the first Saturday of the month, a thaw on Sunday and gone on Monday. Which didn't do much for sales of sledges and skis locally, but which had a dramatic impact on the number of casualties caused by the Pavement of Death in the centre of the village.
Change of tactics
The bloody Indians on the phone are working a new scam in the Romiley area this month. Instead of pretending to be calling on behalf of MicroSoft about junk files downloaded to the victim's computer, they pretend to be from Sky and want to know what sort of Sky box the victim has. Not knowing when the victim doesn't have Sky TV is the dead giveaway that the blindians are scammers.
Thanks a bunch!
Lloyds TSB is at it again, offering improvements to its customers. In the same spirit as the decision to close down the Romiley branch of the bank, it is abolishing the free PhoneBank Express service and downgrading the existing PhoneBank service to resemble the Express version. Ta, very much. Lloyds Banking Group.
Smoke & bollux rather than mirrors
The popular outrage at the size of Fred the Shred's pay-off and pension isn't anti-business. If a corner shop goes bust, the owner doesn't stroll off into the sunset with a big wad of cash and millions in a pension pot (unless he's a crook and planned it, of course). So why should the rules be any different for the guy who runs a major bank into the dirt?
Fred the Shred needs to be the first of many who are taught that New Labour's "rewards for failure" culture has no place in the real world, and if people screw things up royally, there will be consequences; including financial penalties and severely restricted employment opportunities at the same level. Rewards should be for success only in government as well as business.
They still don't get it
The Daily Mail is feeling vindicated after winning a libel action brought by hedge fundamentalist Nat Rothschild. But one has to wonder how it could look anything else but sleazy when an EU commissioner, who had been fired from the British Cabinet TWICE for sleaze, was whisked off on a private jet off to enjoy the hospitality of a Russian zillionaire, who stood to benefit from favourable changes to EU tariffs.
Delusions of competence
Trading Standards officers in London are under the impression that they can do something about people charging three times the recommended price for toy mascots for the Olympics, which cost FIVE TIMES the £2.5 BILLION which New Labour said they'd cost. Haven't these fools heard of price inflation?
Crying "Wolf!" again?
The credit rating agency Moody's is threatening to downgrade Britain's AAA rating for no particularly good reason. But this agency, along with the other members of the Big Three, colluded with the banks to give sub-prime mortgages an AAA rating right before a whole gang of banks collapsed and the world economy crashed. So what do credit agencies know? And how "independent" are their judgements whilst they're in the pockets of the big banks?
Why on Earth is in it for them?
The latest £110 BILLION bail-out for Greece included the writing off of £85 BILLION of Greek debt by hedge funds, pension funds and state-subsidized banks, which were writing off cash belonging to the taxpayer, who got screwed over by the Eurobandits once again. Further, "private lenders" had to accept a 70 per cent cut in what they are owed. Why would any "private lender" in his/her right mind accept a deal like that? Because they were told that if they didn't take 30% of something, they'd get 100% of nothing. Where's the Fraud Squad when you need them?
Why We Hate Bankers No. 97
"Because they paid themselves BILLIONs of pounds in bonuses using all the nice, new fivers and left the rest of us to struggle with the grotty ones."
Bound to happen
Get rid of your tired old money!
Best Prices Paid!
Contact LimpFivers.com T-O-D-A-Y !
Captain Coward of the cruise liner Costa Concordia, which is presently lying on its side in the sea off the west coast of Italy, is to be awarded an honorary knighthood for Services to Shipping in the Diamond Jubilee honours list.
GW NOT to blame!
If the Greek capital seemed unreasonably warm this month, the good news is that it was nothing to do with global warming. It was just Athens being set on fire by lefty agitators protesting about having to pay taxes and live within their means for a change.
Close, but no cigar!
If you ever go anywhere, don't let a US news service book your ticket. According to CNN, London is somewhere in Norfolk, Cannes is in Spain (in the north-west) and Tripoli is in Lebanon rather than Libya. And Paris isn't on the CNN map of Europe because, as any fule kno, it's in Texas. Fox News is no better, labelling Iraq as Egypt on one of its maps, and WGN of Chicago doesn't know the difference between South Africa, home of the 2012 World Cup, and South America (not the home of the 2012 World Cup).
The wonder of the age might not be
The physicists at CERN, who thought they had fired packets of neutrinos to Italy at a speed in excess of light-speed, have found some problems with the measurement gear and they are not looking too confident now. More when there is more.
One gone, lots more to go
C. Huhne might have been evicted from his post at Energy but the same bunch of officials remains in place at the Ministry of Windmills, selling the Great Global Warming Swindle. There's a devastating cold spell going on in Europe, and the wind ain't blowing much, so where is the power coming from now? Not from over-subsidized windmills, that's for sure. And not from anywhere else if the Huhneites get their way and close down our proper power stations along with the nuclear ones.
Another inconvenient truth
Research at the University of Auckland has found that the global average cloud height is reducing by 1% per decade or 100-130 feet/decade. The effect appears to be due to a reduction in cloud formation at very high altitudes and could constitute a negative feedback mechanism a response to global warming which counteracts it.
It seems the Warmists have something else to stick in their collective craw; alongside the fact that there has been no increase in global temperatures since 1998 even though their computer models all show a man-made temperature increase which drives the graph off the chart.
Witch hunt catches witch?
Fred "The Shred" Goodwin has had his knighthood stripped away for his part in wrecking the British banking system and the economy. And also for his failure to realize how royally he screwed up. There have been predictable howls of protest from supporters of New Labour's rewards for failure culture but also name & shame lists of others deserving the same treatment are flying about. Those nominated include:
V. Blank (K), who ruined LloydsTSB with a disastrous takeover of the bankrupt HBoS as a favour to wee Gordie Broon concocted over drinks
T. McKillop (K), chairman of RBS during the Fred Shredding period
J. Crosby (K), CEO of the Halifax/HBoS on the road to failure
D. Stevenson (peerage), chairman of Halifax/HBoS on the road to failure
P. Burt (K), CEO of RBS when the rot set in
G. Mathewson (K), CEO & Chairman of RBS when the rot set in
A. Greenspan (honorary K), who helped to ruin the world banking system when head of the US Federal Reserve
C. McCarthy (K), head of the FSA when it failed to regulate the conduct of the management of the Northern Rock bank, HBoS, RBS, et al
And what about the Broon Bungler himself; the man who recommended reckless and greedy bankers for gongs and drove the British economy into bankruptcy? Not to mention his understrapper E. "He's Talking" Balls. They don't have knighthoods, but they do have gold-plated pensions, which could be surgically removed for reckless endangerment of Britain's economic health.
Heston Blumenthal and Harry Hill are they the same person?
Has anyone ever seen them together?
"Impartiality, but not as we know it, Jim."
The BBC News wing, that well-known leftie propaganda distributor, has decided not to call Islamic terrorism facilitators "extremists" to avoid being judgemental. One of many "mental" decisions taken at this sorry apology for an information outlet.
Miracles will never cease!
The dossers on the steps of St. Paul's Cathedral have been told to bugger off by the Court of Appeal because the general public, tourists and the Church of England have 'uman bloody rights which outweigh theirs. Is the dead hand of New Labour political correctness finally being lifted from the courts? We'll see.
Another sign of the times?
The Ministry of Sport is drawing up legislation requiring a minimum of two players on every Football League team to be of an extra-normal sexual orientation, e.g. homophile, transgender or "person of indeterminate sexuality" [POIS]. The move anticipates legislation from the European Parliament, which is at an advanced stage and driven by the European POIS lobby.
Yet another sign of the times
Another inquest, a man who had a seizure drowned in a boating lake three feet deep while "emergency" services looked on and did nothing, another triumph for New Labour's 'elf and bloody safety culture.
Thanks a bunch, Tony
New Labour's obsession with making bin collections every 2 weeks instead of weekly has turned out to be a job creation scheme for verminologists. Most of them have seen call-outs to deal with rats, mice, squirrels and bed-bugs soar in the last few years.
Tesco Faces Backlash
Having buckled under pressure from a tiny Socialist Workers Party-backed band of agitators, the supermarket chain has been promised an organized boycott by people who don't support the SWP until it re-engages with the government's work experience scheme for NEETs.
The Situation: Director of Semantics
Employer: British Broadcasting Company
Salary: £350K + Generous Bonus + Generous Pension Contribution
Qualifications: Proven track record in obfuscation, must be able to able effortlessly to call a spade "a gardening or agricultural digging implement" or a supporter of terrorism "a radical exercising their human right to free expression", etc. The candidate must also be able to don a convincing façade of conviction when deploying political correctness or left-wing political prejudice as a consensus opinion. Must subscribe to the house view on anthropogenic global warming and the virtues of crippling green taxation.
Apply: BBC North HQ, Blair Boulevard, Salford Quays
What strange things labels on food products tell you
A box of Kellogg's Crunchy Nut cornflakes contains 16 x 30 gramme servings. According to the information panel, the Guideline Daily Amount of calories needed by a human being is 2,000. According to the same panel, a 30g serving of cornflakes plus milk contains 180 kcal or 180,000 calories! Which means that one bowl of these cornflakes can keep someone going for 90 days!
And it's not just Mr. Kellogg who is making these wild claims. A 50-gramme portion of Sainsbury's roasted salted peanuts contains 320 kcal or 320,000 calories, which is enough energy to keep someone going for 6 months. And the same amount of Sainsbury's thick-sliced white bread contains 113,000 calories. No wonder Britain is going through a plague of obesity!
Which one do they mean, Gingrich for President
or Livingstone for Mayor of London?
Missed by minutes!
It has been revealed that the 2½ ton German research satellite Rosat came within 10 minutes of wiping out a piece of Peking when it plunged into the Bay of Bengal in October of last year. Rosat was launched in 1990 to map X-ray sources in space and switched off in 1999, when it became just a piece of space junk in a decaying orbit. Since then, the Germans have been hoping bits of it would not hit anything expensive when the satellite finally crashed into the atmosphere.
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
Now going into its second decade on the World Wide Web a brilliant resource exposing Nigerian-type 419 scams, bogus lotteries & job offers, phishing attempts, next-of-kin scams, scams involving loot from foreign wars and much, much more!
CLICK HERE to find out what email miracles are on offer.