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No. 10 Certificate of EndorsementEvery edition of BFN is compiled according to official guidelines on accuracy and veracity set by the Bliar Institute of Truth in Politics.

YAWN!

Which Milipede do you want?

The one who looks like a nutter or the one who looks like a nutter?

sliceD. Milipede sunk by Brown Dithering

He had his chances to take the leadership from the deeply unpopular G. Broon but. like Broon and an early general election, he just couldn't summon up the nerve to pull the trigger. Now, thanks to the trade unions, he's been overtaken by his younger brother, Redward Edward. Clearly, the Bruvvers think Red Ed will make a better puppet.
The Labour party has been doing really well for leaders recently – a war criminal, a mugger and now a nutter.

sliceBlind optimism defeats good judgement
Eddie Baby, the new Leader, is optimistic that no one will notice that he and the other junior New Labour stooges were going 'Yes, Tony' and then 'Yes, Gordon' while the rejected leaders were taking the country into an illegal war and bankruptcy. He is optimistic that everyone will believe that his hand, in particular, are particularly clean.

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 WAR NEWS 

sliceSo what?
Tony B. Liar knew that British terrorist were liable to be tortured by the Americans after the attacks on 2001/09/11. And what? Are we supposed to care or something?

 ACCURACY NEWS 

slice"Get it right, you useless sod!"
One of the visiting Pope's cardinals got the bullet on the eve of the UK tour for claiming that landing in Britain is like arriving in a 3rd World country. He is now receiving re-education to make him aware that 13 years of Brown Economics has left Britain a 4th World basket case.

slice"Yeah, right, like that will happen!"
The Pope has shown how out of touch with the real world he is by warning that secularity will kill off Xmas. Not while commercial companies can make a huge pile of cash out of Xmas, it won't!

Romiley News
ROMILEY NEWS

sliceAttention IKEA

Your agents assaulted Romiley with a delivery of catalogues. Instead of pushing them right through letterboxes, they left them sticking out of front doors. Romiley residents would like to inform IKEA that all catalogues left sticking out of front doors were moved directly to the blue paper-recycling bin and there is absolutely no way you will be getting any orders until you become more customer friendly.

sliceCouncil in denial about "Pavement of Death"
Romiley has 3 councillors on Stockport council. None of them ever tries to walk the streets of Romiley in wet weather. This is the only conclusion to be drawn from the council's attitude to the state of the new paving, which becomes a skid-pan when wet, especially in areas where muck collects on the smooth surface of the paving slabs, such as around the oak tree at the NatWest bank.
    The council's only response to complaints has been to mutter vaguely about doing something about the wonky paving slabs, like the ones in the vicinity of Romiley station. Clearly, the Trivial Democrats running the council have no regard for the safety of Romiley's residents, and value for money is not on offer to people paying some of the highest levels of Council Tax in the country.
Relevant Links:
   BlackFlag News for July 2008
   Romiley Arts Federation's Incidental Pictures of Romiley – see section 44
   BlackFlag News for January 2010 – see "Lethal Weapon" in the Romiley News section

sliceCouncil in denial about Botched Crossing Job
The Liberals running Stockport Council are blaming the building, demolition and rebuilding of the new traffic island on the contractors. But where was the council's building inspector when the disaster was taking place? Nearby Romiley residents would also like to know why no one talked to them during the Liberals' bogus consultation exercise, and why the council didn't have a pedestrian crossing installed instead of the island.

Crime News
 CRIME NEWS 

sliceThe taint remains
Complaints against the police are at a record level and individual coppers are collecting multiple complaints for failing to do their job and even assaulting their customers. 40% of victims of crime are ignored completely by their local police. Thousands of cases of theft and violent assault have been written off as "no crime involved" and the police often refuse to log complaints from members of the public as the New Labour way to make them go away.

sliceRecord Breaker!
The not very Rev. A. Brown has been gaoled for 4 years for performing 360 bogus weddings at his job in East Sussex. He also gets a place in the Guinness Book of Records as the only vicar to be gaoled (5 months, concurrently) for failing to read wedding banns in the 800 years since this was made a criminal offence.
Under justice minister K. Clarke's "be nice to criminals" policy, Mr. Brown is expected to be a free man before Xmas.

sliceConstructive negligence digs Brown Hole deeper
Tax experts are advising victims of HMRC's undercharges to ignore demands for cash on the grounds that HMRC knew that the tax code system wasn't working but did nothing about it. There is even a get-out clause in the rules, which can be exploited by those who know about it.

sliceG. Broon, the tax-dodger's best mate
Thanks to Brown Accounting practices, HMRC failed to collect 9% of the tax owed in 2008/09. That's £42,000,000,000. No wonder the country's bloody broke!

sliceAll for show?
Six Algerian Moslem street sweepers have been arrested on suspicion of plotting terrorism to raise the police profile during the papal visit. Neither explosives nor terror materials were found in extensive searches and no charges are expected.
theGrauniad called them persons of "Algerian heritage" in totally precious style.

Association of Cheap Police OfficerssliceMore "All for show"
Coppers in the North-West of England are being told not to record or investigate, crimes which they think they won't be able to solve. The tactic is part of the Association of Cheap Police Officers' continuing strategy for massaging crime figures to make them look undeservedly half decent.

sliceIsn't blackmail supposed to be illegal?
The police chiefs appointed under New Labour are warning that if the police budget is cut, then front-line coppers will get the bullet instead of frills and perks. As a result, there won't be enough proper coppers available to get stuck in when the peasants start revolting.

sliceCunning Commies or what!
The Chinese government tried to get some safety precautions put in place at coal mines by requiring managers to go down their own mines. But the wily managers just created a new tier of management, promoted workers to fill it, and sent the newly made bosses down the mine instead!

sliceSlow but sure
After a month of deep thought, the police serving Pimlico, London, have decided that an MI6 agent, whose body was found in a large holdall secured with a padlock, didn't do it to himself.

A Journey by A.B. Liar poster

On Sale Now

The alibis, excuses and lame attempts to explain away 10 wasted years, the ruination of the British economy by a political rival who was judged too unstable to sack or be allowed to become prime minister, the warmongering, the favours for the Bush regime and the Labour party's friends at home and abroad, the sleaze, the outright corruption and the money-grubbing when he was forced out of 10 Downing Street. Everything is here in sickening detail.
Category : Politics re-written for personal gain

DON'T BUY IT NOW!!

Wait until it's remaindered and on sale for 50p at Romiley Remaindered Books, 142 Riverside Drive.

 CLIMATE   NEWS 

climate change sloganAccuracy & Honesty? Not for us!
The UN's climate change panel has been warned to stop passing off mere speculation and crude propaganda as science. Recent 'reports' on what is happening to the climate have been as reliable as a Campbell dossier on Iraq's weapons of mass destruction, but as the UN is about politics and money rather than what is happening in the real world, this is only to be expected.
   Something else which the UN might try is to address the real issues of climate change. The UN's present tactic is to pretend that the argument is about whether the climate changes, and to tilt at climate-change deniers. The sub-text, of course, is that if the climate changes, then humanity has to be responsible.
climate change slogan   There is no argument about the fact that the Earth's climate changes. What is at issue is the false claims by the UN's usual suspects that they know how the climate works (they don't, and neither do their computer programmers) and they know how to change it.
   Yet another issue is whether people really want these fraudsters messing about with the climate because (a) they are bound to make things worse and (b) they can't be bothered asking whether people want the climate changed. After all, the planet is long overdue for a plunge into another Ice Age, so a little warming is keeping that fate at bay.

climate change sloganWhen in trouble, zap the people!
China has an interesting way of fiddling energy-saving targets – switching off the electricity supply on every third day. As a result, megatons of food in fridges and freezers spoils, people in hospital who need life-sustaining equipment croak, businesses close down, and there are no phones, TV, traffic lights, and everything else needing power. But at least the appalling waxworks are able to pretend that they are saving the planet.

 DEPARTURES 

Sir Cyril Smith, politician, 82

He was a man about whom "larger than life" never applied – life always struggled to compete with Big Cyril. He was big in local politics in Rochdale, he was the Labour mayor in 1966, but he jumped ship to the Liberals and won the parliamentary seat in a by-election. He made a nonsense of the accusation that the Liberal party could fit into a taxi by being bigger than the rest of his party put together. He was a man who went with his own opinions, he was never lobby fodder in the Commons and he retained his seat for 20 years until he retired in 1992.

 DEPARTURES 

New Labour, 13

Redward Edward, the new Blessed Leader, has announced a return to Old Labour after denouncing the deviation which was the New Labour cult. So that means his party will be back to union power, supporting all strikes, policies of tax and waste on an even HUGER scale that G. Broon managed, making the Brown Hole in the economy even HUGER, the politics of envy, expanding the public sector to create an illusion of people doing useful jobs, etc., etc.

 DEPARTURES 

Tony Curtis, 85

He transformed himself from Bernie Schwartz, a man who couldn't act, to a Hollywood star who could fake it. He was married 6 times during an off-stage life, which was as colourful as the part in which he made over 140 films, and he might have matched that score in affairs. Universal Pictures converted a guy with a thick New Yorker accent into one of the stars of Some Like It Hot (1959), Spartacus (1960), The Boston Strangler (1968) and a host of other films. Mr. Curtis also made a fair bit of money from his 'Matisse-like' still life paintings, and he established a horse sanctuary among other good works. He had a pleasing talent for self-parody, which was evident in his role in the TV series The Persuaders with Roger Moore.

 DEPARTURES 

Edwin Charles (E.C.) Tubb, 90

This prolific British science fiction writer had a career which lasted over 60 years. He had 130 books published, mostly space opera and science fiction adventures, and including his 32-volume Dumarest Saga. He has another book scheduled for publication next year and there could be another in the pipeline. He made a considerable impact in the science fiction magazine field, selling over 230 short stories to the likes of New Worlds, Galaxy, Nebula, Science Fantasy and Astounding/Analog. Like many of his contemporaries he became a science fiction fan before the war, and he remained active in SF fandom for many years.

 DOSH NEWS 

sliceThe legacy of a decade of Brown meddling
The Income Tax mob have been playing with a new computer system, which doesn't work – but what else is new? As a result, 1.4 million taxpayers are about to be told that they have paid too little tax to the collective tune of £2.1 BILLION while 4.3 million people will be told that they've paid too much tax; £1.8 BILLION in total, and it might take 4 years to repay them. Who says Gordon Brown was any good with money now?
The legacy of tax blunders from the Brown Era has blown up to 18 million cases dating back 6 years.

The EU, better out than inWho needs a job when there's the EU?
It used to be phantom olive groves which moved dosh from the pockets of European taxpayers to corrupt officials and mobsters. Now, Italian gangsters, particularly in Sicily, are "building" wind farms and bribing corrupt officials into paying them huge "green energy" subsidies for the phantom power "generated" by phantom windmills.

The EU, better out than inPuff and Nonsense
The president of the European Commission, J. Barroso, is using vast amounts of EU taxpayers' cash to keep a team of scriptwriters, journalists, photographers and TV producers available to polish his profile at every opportunity. He spends even more of our cash on keeping his website going, ghost-written blogs and self-promotional videos.
Other EU big-wigs are now lobbying for more taxpayers' cash for media staff to up their own profile in the same way.

The EU, better out than inA criminal waste of OUR money
The European Commission has spent a million quid of our money on training coppers from Gloucestershire, Hampshire, Hertfordshire and Merseyside to deal with the aftermath of a Richter 8.0 earthquake – something which is geologically impossible in Britain as we are not located above any severely strained fault lines.

sliceSaving what really counts . . .
Spending cuts forced by the Brown slump mean that police forces will sack 40,000 coppers, but the really important stuff will be protected. Like the West Mercia police service's plan to spend 3 MILLION QUID on a new driveway and gatehouse for its headquarters.

sliceBruvvers Demand Parity
Trade Union bosses. who are paid more than the prime minister with expenses that turn MPs green with envy, have their own envy/lust targets – bankers. Which is why they are demanding parity with bankers – salary AND bonuses – and threatening to make Britain a darker, brutish, more frightening place if they don't get their money.
   We can only hope that when they go and play on the nation's motorways as part of a civil disobedience programme, the Good Lord sends a 44-ton truck at them.

sliceHow useless can you get?
D. Hartnett, boss of HMRC, let Vodaphone off a £6,000,000,000 tax bill after the company broke tax-avoidance laws. No wonder Britain is bloody broke! Meanwhile, panto Dame L. Strathie, another HMRC bigwig, thinks the shambles over tax codes is the fault of the "customers", most of whom HMRC would refuse to accept if it were a proper company.

slicePish Tosh
Mr. Bean, the deputy governor of the Bank of England, thinks everyone should spend their savings and max out their credit cards to make the economy boom. What does he think we are? A nation of Gordie Broons?

 HEALTH NEWS 

sliceDisease of the month – RAS Syndrome
The main symptom of Redundant Abbreviation Syndrome is a morbid urge to indulge in tautological addition of the word indicated by the last initial of an abbreviation. Notable examples include AC current, ATM machine, GUI Interfaces, HIV virus, the NASA Agency, Microsoft's NTFS file system, PIN number, RAM Memory, RISC computers, SAM missile and Lloyds TSB bank.

travel
 TRAVEL NEWS 


sliceJobs for the girls
The boss of Ryanair is thinking of ditching co-pilots as an unnecessary expense. If the pilot of one of his planes collapses, his Big Idea is to get the guy to buzz for one of the dinner ladies before he croaks, and she will then take over the right-hand seat and watch the plane land on autopilot.

When it comes to motor racing, the FIA has announced that match-fixing is okay, but only if Ferrari does it.

sliceWhich Pope will be visiting us?
Will it be His Holiness Benedict 16th? Or will it be Joey "The Rat" Ratzinger, who has condoned and covered up child abuse by Catholic priests for decades? The British public is entitled to know.
A Catholic think tank has come up with an interesting idea for papal visits – instead of blowing millions of pounds on security, we should just wait to find out if it's God's will that the old bloke isn't bumped off!
Pope upsets Anglican church by using "state" visit as cover for recruiting drive.
Militant Protestants and victims of child abuse by RC priests outnumber and out-shout atheist protesters against the papal visit.

Home News
 HOME NEWS 
UK Flag

sliceVote Early, Vote Often
The Labour leadership election is so democratic that party members can acquire extra votes by joining 30-odd affiliated organization, like trade unions and a whole host of fringe groups with "Labour" in their name: Scientists for Labour, the Labour Irish Society, BBC for Labour, etc. It seems that "One member, one vote" has never had a place in Labour elections, even though Labour's saints liked to quote this claim in the past.

sliceGod is redundant, says Prof. Hawking
The world's most famous astro-physicist, and the author of the world's most unread book, had another to plug. Which is why he's saying that if there's gravity, matter can be created spontaneously and no theoretical creator with a down on the human race is necessary.
Representatives of the world's church organizations are insisting that their god invented gravity, but neither proof nor a patent number is on offer.

slicePay our own way
Recent polls have revealed that 81% of British taxpayers don't think they should have to pay for the Pope's visit. Rather, the bill should be handed to the Roman Catholic church, Gordon Brown and Tony B. Liar.

sliceNew homes for old tosh
The Popular Front for Honesty in Political Memoirs has tasked its members with putting Mr. B. Liar's latest book on the right shelf in bookshops. Thus the "Journey from lies to lots of dosh" is migrating to Crime, Science Fiction and Fantasy & Horror sections – or even to the Mills & Boon section.
The book is to be found among the toilet paper in branches of Asda.

"The Milipedes are the most compelling set of political brothers since the Krays."
   Discuss.

sliceVisiting Pope attacks Freedom in Britain
Atheists are like Nazis, says Benny 16, a former Youth for Hitler. He added that people shouldn't have the right not to believe in his god and communicate their non-belief to other people. And there's nothing wrong with child molesting if you cover it up properly.

sliceVote for Dave, get Ed!
Mr. Ed lost every round of the Labour leadership election except the last one. His brother won every round except the last one, thanks to alternative voting, which seems designed to elect the wrong candidate.

 FICTION NEWS 

sliceWalter Mitty rides again
The Broon propaganda machine is calling the B. Liar memoirs "trash" and "delusional". The latter is probably directed at Mr. Liar's claim that the proudest moment of his presidency was becoming the first man to set foot on the Moon, but single-handedly bringing peace and democracy to both Iraq and Afghanistan came a close second.
   This quote could also be part of it: "It was a bumpy ride but saving the world from global warming made it all worthwhile. My only real regret is that Gordon was ever allowed to darken the door of 10 Downing Street as prime minister".

sliceToo soon to tell!
The Ministry of Defence has denied that there are plans to share Britain's aircraft carriers with the French. Under the previous regime, this would have been an automatic admission that the story is true. But it's too soon to tell what the Coalition has done to New Labour's culture of lies in government.

Judge SherryHatred, ridicule & contempt? She has that already!
The Wicked Witch of the West is demanding that the Mandelsleaze recalls his recent memoirs so that a chapter can be ripped out and pulped.
   Apparently, the ignoble lord dared to report the contents of a poison pen letter sent to him by the WWotW, in which she trashed G. Broon (the guy who used to be prime monster after B. Liar got the sack; until he also got the sack). It seems that the WWotW is worried that people will think she's not a nice person if her attack on the Broon Bungler slides into the public domain.

sliceBad for some businesses
The egg and shoe industries have been done out of a bonanza by Mr. Liar's decision to chicken out of a book signing session at Waterstone's in London. Mr. Liar has become increasingly worried about being arrested by a posse of outraged citizens and shipped to the Hague to stand trial for his war crimes.
Mr. Liar is now planning to distribute his signed books by post from a secret bunker to keep the cash flowing.

sliceTruth is bad for business
Red Eddie Milipede has been advised to pretend he's not a raving leftie nutter during the period of the Labour leadership election in the hope that it will win over middle-class votes.

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world news
 WORLD NEWS 


The EU, better out than inJust say NO!!!
The EU budget commissioner, J. Lewandowski, wants a 6% rise in the annual budget (currently £107 BILLION) and he also wants Britain to give up the residue of the Thatcher rebate, which Mr. B. Liar failed to surrender when prime monster. It would appear that Lewandowski needs to be told forcibly that there will be no reduction in Britain's rebate, and we will be paying 10% less than our current contribution until the EU gets its accounts endorsed by reputable auditors.
5 years of the EU's emissions trading scheme have made a great deal of money for spivs who bought "licences to pollute", and also for the politicians who received bungs, but the scheme has reduced overall carbon dioxide emissions by less than one-third of one per cent.

sliceBringing the world together
Religious and other bookshops around the world have reported a surge in sales ahead of International Burn a copy of the Koran Day on the 11th of this month, which was inspired by Pastor T. Jones of Gainesville, Florida.
Readers of theGrauniad might know the volume better as the Q'uor'n.
The sales figures are even higher in Europe where, under EU law, religious tracts of all denominations have to be burnt to avoid giving Islam an unfair advantage.

Bung a Boot at Bliar Day

International Bung a Boot at Bliar Day

Make it every day the lying fraud dares to show his mug in public until he gets the message!


Sponsored by the Campaign for Decency in Politics

This Month's Garbage

The Garbage

Her Majesty's Revenue & Customs for calling its victims "customers" and the honcho of this sorry outfit, D. Hartnett, a serial hospitality nosher who sees no season why anyone should expect the tax system to give its "customers" accurate tax codes, and nothing wrong with his department bogging up 6 million tax accounts. [Or is it 18 million? Ed.]

The aim of the Irish protesters in Dublin, who failed to hit war criminal A. B. Liar with a barrage of eggs and shoes.

Formula One, which let Ferrari get away with using illegal team orders in the German Grand Prix, proving that match-fixing isn't always a crime.

The Essex police, which won't train their PCSOs to stop traffic to let schoolkids cross the road.

Channel 4 pretending to be some sort of spiritual home for American football in Britain after building up a fan base in the 1980s then doing the dirty on them by just abandoning its coverage of American Crunch.

The Judicial Studies Board, which has told judges to give female criminals lenient sentences compared to those handed out to male criminals for similar offences, in direct contravention of EU Human Rights and Equality laws.

The Diamond Geezer who's now the multi-billion pound boss of Barclays, who would have us believe that the casino banking he's been presiding over doesn't exist. Rather like good judgement in the banking industry, which explains why most of them went bust buying junk investments without bothering to find out that they were worthless.

The quangocrats of the Commonwealth Development Corporation, who feel entitled to shove as much as an MP on their expenses with the taxpayer footing the bill. The quango is supposed to be about relieving poverty in the 3rd world, not creating it in Britain.

Cardinal W. Kasper, who bitches about aggressive atheism in Britain while pushing aggressive pie-in-the-skyism from his own palace of iniquities. Like the Roman Catholic Church never tortured and murdered anyone!

The prisons minister, C. Blunt, who thinks serving undersize apples in prison canteens will cause riots.

The building work at the Indian Commonwealth Games site @ Delhi. Not to mention the site security.

The BBC's accounts department, which can't be bothered to pay the wages of the overpaid "talent" like Radio One D.J. C. Moyles, who had to do a half-hour rant on his show to get some action.

All coppers who think tackling anti-social behaviour and New Labour's yob culture is "beneath them".

Talk Talk, which is zapping populated webspace inherited from Tiscali without a word of warning to the people who populated it. Buncha scumbags.

Tesco, which wouldn't sell a bottle of wine to a man who had his 8-year-old daughter with him.

Walsall council, which lets residents put leaves from their gardens in the compost recycling bin but not leaves swept up outside the home.

The bin is ready and Mandelson.

 
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