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It's business as usual in the labour party as far as fund-raising goes. Everyone's been accepting illegal donations from a secret benefactor, the party's general secretary has been liquidated and the treasurer might also be terminated, but all the politicians have alibis and no intention of resigning in shame because there is no shame in being sleazy under labour's rules.
Pull the other one, mate!
Another little sweetener
Pub Quiz Question Of the Month
A Question Which Doesn't Need An Answer
The cruise ship hit a submerged growler in Antarctic waters and acquired a hole in the hull 'the size of a fist'. You'd expect closing watertight doors and getting the pumps going would have kept the ship afloat with a not too terrible leak, but it sank. Which doesn't say much for the safety standards of ships operating in the region, the regulations governing polar cruises, the quality of ship inspections and the degree of enforcement.
Poor people must stay put
HM Revenue & Customs emails show that the chancellor (him with the eyebrows) and the current prime monster have both been giving out false information about how the CDs containing the personal and financial details of 25 million people were lost.
He's been a clunker all his government career!
Part 1. Our clunking prime monster is grabbing headlines and personal publicity by announcing huge amounts of spending, which won't save the planet because it's all a drop in the ocean compared to the 'pollution' coming from the United States and China.
"Seriously, though; he's doing a grand job!"
sir ian blair (no relation), a.k.a. new labour's favourite copper, is being blamed for the Metropolitan Police's fiddled crime figures by newspapers which are desperate to see him sacked. But what the ranting tabloids seem to have forgotten is that it's the Home Office and the rest of the labour government which are behind the false crime figures. They were fiddled to 'prove' that crime is going down and this useless, corrupt government is doing a good job.
British govt. please note!
Gesture justice, or a consequence of prison overcrowding?
KGB Tour opportunity?
An interesting scam
If it's not one thing, it's another!
Totally useless? They must be!
Totally useless? They must be, Part 2
Totally useless? They must be, Part 3
Plea bargain accepted
BOOK OF THE MONTH
Die Deutsche Evita by Stett Devretner
The story of how Eva Hitler, née Braun, rallied the German people after their crushing defeat in World War Two, helped them to believe in themselves again and paved the way for the Wirtschafts Wunder of the 1960s, when West Germany became one of the most prosperous nations in the world.
The excellent hardback book is yours for just £19.99 / €34.49 plus NO VAT because we don't believe in it.
Why is the government lying about the number of migrants in Britain? Because the size of the nation's imaginary carbon footprint is calculated at a rate of an arbitrary number of metric tons of carbon dioxide per head of population. And a new labour way to get the size of the footprint down is to lie about the size of the population.
Carbon con-men want it both ways
Don't panic? Who are you kidding!
This lot will save the planet? Who are you kidding!
Grin brown reality
Didn't you just know this would be true!
The First Lady of professional wrestling has died at 84. She broke into the grappling game in the late 1940s and became women's champion in 1956. She then went on to hold the title for an astonishing 28 years, which makes today's alleged superstars look very ordinary.
A prolific writer of screenplays for 'B' and 'Z' movies has died at 77. Mr. Griffith delivered a ton of scripts to the celebrated Roger Corman, including the splendid Attack of the Crab Monsters (1957), The Undead (1957), A Bucket of Blood (1959), The Little Shop of Horrors (1960) and the banned (until recently) Death Race 2000. He also directed half a dozen of the low-budget pictures and played small roles in them.
A rumbustious novelist, journalist, poet & playwright, who thought nothing of punching someone in the mouth, had died at 84. Recognized as one of the great American writers of the 20th/21st centuries, he started his literary career with a bang. The Naked and the Dead (1948), a World War 2 novel partly based on the author's own experiences, became an unexpected best-seller.
The last man in charge of a prosperous Rhodesia has died at 88. Born in Southern Rhodesia, Ian Smith joined the RAF when World War Two broke out and served in the Middle East and Mediterranean theatres. He joined his country's parliament in 1948 and when the Federation of Rhodesia & Nyasaland collapsed, he asked the British government to grant the rest of Rhodesia it's promised independence.
The King of the Motorcycle Daredevils has died at 69. As famous for his flops as his successes, Mr. Knievel got himself into the Guinness Book of Records with his total of 433 bone fractures sustained when motorcycle jumps over lines of buses and fountains at Las Vegas went horribly wrong.
The inventor of the sports drink of choice for coach-dunking has died at 80. He created his beverage to help the college footbal team the Florida Gators survive while playing American crunch in high humidity at temperatures above 100 deg.F. Unlike water, Gatorade replaced salts as well as lost fluids, which could reach 16-18 pounds in weight during a 3-hour match.
This Washington Redskins' defensive back was murdered by an intruder in his Miami home at the age of 24. He was shot in the leg and died in hospital 24 hours later. The police have no description of the suspect. There was another break-in at Mr. Taylor's home eight days earlier, when it was unoccupied.
MoneyFacts.co.uk, a mortgage comparison website, has found that if you've heard of a mortgage provider, they'll rip you off. All the big-name banks offer bad deals and only smaller building societies are worth using.
Just so you know
It's called getting your own back!
It's only money!
The most overtaxed petrol in Europe . . .
No surprise really, just the usual government fraud
No surprise really, just the usual government fraud
Who's the Wally with the Lolly?
Pay more, get less
Words Of Our Time
ENERGY REBOUND Give motorists more fuel-efficient vehicles and they use them more often and drive further; as a result of which, they use more fuel than before!
If you want to avoid getting cancer, stop eating! That's the latest advice from the 'experts'. Red meat, junk and processed foods (especially bacon and sausages), cakes, snacks in packets, biscuits, crisps, sugary drinks, chips, salt, vitamin pills, boozing strong drink and putting on weight all cause cancer and have to be avoided. In fact, would-be immortals have to give up everything that makes life worth living and if they can get to less than Size Zero, that's great. Which raises the interesting question: "Who would want to live forever like that?"
We're all doomed!
The government is worried about an energy crisis this winter, and shortages of gas and oil for generating electricity. But BlackFlag News can offer a simple solution to the problem round up the nation's fatties and install them at exercise bike ranches, where they can pedal off the pounds while keeping the nation's lights burning.
A day to remember?
Virgin Media sticks it to the customers
Posturing or politics?
Clunking Fist, Closed Ear
Ever wondered why our borders are so porous?
How does brown government work?
"Cobblers to the lot of them!"
GOATS go official
Balls to the inconvenient truths?
Balls to the inconvenient truths, Part 2, or "Who's the nutter over there?"
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
New on the World Wide Web This brilliant resource which exposes Nigerian-type 419 scams, bogus lotteries & job offers, phishing attempts and much, much more!
An old comet, which was first spotted by British astronomer Edwin Holmes in 1892, brightened up dramatically in the last week of October. Astronomers are speculating that the comet has a fragile structure, which collapsed partially and released a vast cloud of dust. This is supported by the comet's appearance; it is a fuzzy ball of light with no discernable tail. It is alleged to have a magnitude of 2-3 and to be a naked-eye object; but only in places with a dark sky.
"There were guys in England shirts, especially defenders, who were dozy enough to be in the government!"
Recruiters for Burma's armed forces, who are paid by the head for their new signings, have found that they can get away with putting children as young as 10 on the books. They get away with it because Burmese military commanders have their own targets for troop numbers, and they'll take anyone who can walk to meet those targets.
"Don't call me, my phone's switched off!"
Can all of them be wrong? They must be!
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
BlackFlag News plans to launch a social networking website for people who don't use the Internet. "Why should these people be left out?" our Editor asks.
Watch this space for further details!
FEMA, the US government agency which is supposed to tackle major emergencies (like the fate of New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina, and the effects of last month's wildfires in California) has a plan for news conferences which the meeja ignore or fail to attend when they get about 10 minutes' notice of the event. When faced with ranks of empty seats, they just make up their own questions and supply self-congratulatory answers.
The road to true democracy
Thanks a bunch!
Advice of the month
Yet more ignored corruption & incompetence
Homogenized out of existence another brilliant, if recycled, idea from the EU
Waste, Waste, Waste The EU's motto
We always knew it was a scam
One law for everyone?
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