That's it for the summer, then
The picture above was taken at about 11 a.m. on the third Friday of the month after an overnight dusting of snow had been topped up by some sleet then fine hail. At about 11:30, the sun dared to come out for a while, and by the early afternoon, the snow had gone, allowing those who had chickened out of a trip down to their local Aldi to go there anyway.
Go for it!
Go on, what do you, our readers, think? Is it time for the BBC's Labour party correspondent Nick Robinson to apply for the lead role in a remake of the Sergeant Bilko television series?
But is it worth it?
Someone paid the magnificent sum of £44 million for this work by Edvard Munch. It has the title "Girls On The Bridge" and it was painted in 1902, when the artist was in his late thirties. Okay, so it's a picture by someone most educated people have heard of, and it's an investment, but is it actually something you'd want to hang on your wall, given the wealth of much more interesting stuff, which is readily available.
Someone else, a telephone buyer, paid £65.4 million for this example from Claude Monet's 25-painting Grainstack series. M. Monet is credited as the father of Impressionism, a style of painting derived from the fact that he was too mean to buy himself a pair of spectacles. As a result, what appears on the canvas and what was actually before him at the time often bear little relation. That said, M. Monet does achieve a level of visual complexity and interest which evaded Edvard Munch when he did his painting above.
It pays to keep your eyes open!
Seen on Compstall Road on drizzly Mega Moon Monday: a delivery truck for www.BeastSheds.co.uk, on which were the slogans:
FREE DELIVERY!
FREE ERECTION!
Who needs Viagra?
Rained off
Did you see a Moon which was 14% bigger and 30% brighter than normal on the second Monday of the month? Not if you were living in Romiley, where the weather bureau maintained a solid overcast to prevent the residents in the village from being driven mad by excessive Moonshine.
Safety on the streets
People who walk along a street staring at a phone are in danger of becoming eligible for recruitment by the Ministry of Silly Walks. That's the conclusion of researchers at Delaware University, who found that people who aren't looking where they're going develop a gait which makes them look like they're perpetually stepping over invisible obstructions.
It has been suggested that there should be special pavement lanes for phone obsessives. But if they're not watching where they're going, how are they to be confined to their lanes? Two solutions have been suggested: 1. deploy lane wardens, who will stick phone ramblers with an £80 fixed-penalty ticket if they stray out of their lane, and 2. councils can define the lanes with those knobble-tiles, which they set in pavements at road-crossing points to make life hell for anyone in a wheelchair.
Where's the hotel?
Think of smog and you think of L.A. and China. But Tehran is another good place to experience it. Hundreds of people have been killed by it over the last month and schools in the Iranian capital are shut. And surprise!, the tourism industry has even apologized to foreign visitors, when it could find them, for the general evilness of the atmosphere. Things are about 10% worse than Tehran in the tourist "hotspot" Isfahan but, as seems to be typical of such major catastrophes, the regular autumn pollution is a political football and nothing is ever done about it.
Works both ways
The head of the Europeon Parliament wants Britons to wish to enjoy the benefits of EU citizenship to pay an annual membership fee. Fine. Anyone who comes here can do the same. Fair's fair.
Another triumph for Nigel Farage!
The Man of the year for 2016 encouraged the British people to reject the corruption of the European Union's pillockracy and the vested interests in British political circles.
He delivered Brexit.
Then Mr. Farage travelled to the United States to advise the Trump campaign on running its "Brexit Plus Plus Plus" challenge to the corruption of the political establishment there. Thus America has been spared a presidency during which Hillary Clinton would have been eternally looking over her shoulder, wondering if her next stop after the White House would be a gaol cell.
And let us not forget: Donald Trump is Britain's friend. Clinton never has been.
comment section
"The pollsters got it badly wrong again. What use are they? I so wish I'd put a bet on Clinton with Paddy Power and got it paid out before the result came through!"
"Hillary Clinton's sense of entitlement was so disgustingly huge that her rejection can only be proof that the bad guys do come last very occasionally and justice does prevail very, very occasionally."
"Predictably, the frustrated Whatevers hurled their toys out of the pram with anti-democracy marches and swastikas galore and ceremonial burnings as they saw their culture of political correctness and safe zones and suppression of all views they don't like come under threat. Typical DemoCRAPs."
"Putting the Clintons back into the White House would have been like putting the Blairs back into Downing Street. How much sleaze and corruption do you want?"
You can't beat forward planning
The magazine Newsweek was forced to recall and pulp an entire issue with a "Madam President" headline and a Clinton cover pic after the news of who had actually won the election reached the editorial offices. A few copies went on sale, even though they weren't supposed to, and they should be available at vastly inflated prices on auction sites in due course. And, of course, the magazine had not bothered to print an edition for a Trump victory.
The ABC Principle
America has spoken, and it said "Anyone But Clinton" and delivered a resounding "NO!" to their version of the Blairs. Hillary Clinton's fate is just a poke in the eye for the Establishment sneerocracy, who think that the world exists for their comfort and enrichment, irrespective of whichever political party or system of government prevails. First Britain, and now America has shown that the sneerocracy can be dented. Sometimes, the bad guys do come last.
Pointless posturing
The Whatever Tendency is having lots of fun in New York and other American cities. But what do they expect to achieve? A couple of minutes pretending to be Wolfie Smith on BBC news programmes which they will never see?
Do they really expect Donald Trump to look out of his window, see the mob of Clinton's Deplorables outside and suddenly realize that his election to America's top political job was a big mistake and the people who voted for him got it badly wrong?
Like that's going to happen.
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 The blessed D. Attenborough, who thinks the EU referendum should never have been held because the voters are far to thick to know if the EU is a good thing or a bad thing.
Bonk of England Gov. M. Carney, who's not going until June 2019, even though he's not up to the job and he can't hide his political BreMoaner credentials. If he's hoping to persuade the Canadian electorate to give him a public sector job in the elections at the end of 2019, he needs to hop off right away to get the schmoozing started.
FIFA is getting a well-deserved kicking for trying to prevents members of the England and Scotland football squads from wearing a poppy on their shirt during their Armistice Day match.
Andrew Lloyd Webber has just noticed that town planners did more damage to British cities than Herr Hitler's air force. Still, better 50 or 60 years late than not at all.
The 201 MPs who voted to install Jim Vaz on the Commons justice committee, and the Labour party stooges who nominated him.
FIFA for trying to ban British teams from wearing poppy armbands for matches near Remembrance Sunday.
S. Phillips, ex-MP, who quit Parliament in a fit of pique as it was getting in the way of his legal practice?
Baroness Scotland, who's doing her best to spend the Commonwealth's administration into bankruptcy with a mega-makeover of her official mansion and jobs for cronies with no relevant experience.
Glenda Two Sheds Jackson doing King Lear and the architect of the farce.
Walker's has joined the Brexit Bandit price inflaters by putting up the cost of a bag of crisps made with British-grown spuds.
Unilever is still being a Brexit Bandit.
Toblerone has sneaked a 12% price rise by making the gaps between its peaks wider than the shrunken peaks themselves. Thus customers get 150 gms for what was the price of 170 grms and what now looks like a Chinese knock-off of the original.
Boots & Vison Express, which are ripping off customers with lenses which, they claim, protect against the blue light of smart phones and tablets, even though there is no scientific evidence that this blue light is harmful.
The sexist C. Quentin, actress, who thinks men shouldn't play dames in pantomimes. [see above, 2-Sheds Jackson. Ed.]
T. Hunt, Labour MP, who thinks the first world war was, in part, against Fascism, which had not been invented then.
Wiltshire's police farce, which is wasting police time and taxpayers' cash on a fishing expedition against the late Sir Edward Heath. It's good to know there is no crime in the country needing the attention of the 21 coppers and staff involved.
The sacked Chancellor, that pillock G. Osborne, hasn't grasped the simple fact that the electorate doesn't vote for a prime minister. They elect MPs and the leader of the largest gang of them becomes PM. Such monumental ignorance reflects some of the reasons why no one wanted Mr. Project Fear as Tory party leader and PM.
Lord luvvie Kerr, who thinks we need more migrants because the native population is "so bloody stupid". [And we dared to vote against his cherished EU. Ed.]
Departing Metropolitan police farce boss Hulk Hogan Hyphen Howe, who wants to use the Leveson report as an excuse for keeping arrests secret from the Press and the public, mainly to help with the image of senior officers who have made foolish public statements and who are trying to cover up a lack of progress on costly investigations based on groundless accusations.
Nick Clegg, who wants to legalize drugs, probably because he hopes to be put in charge of it.
Princess Fergiana is claiming that falling for a Fake Sheikh scam cost her £500K/year. So her own greed and stupidity had nothing to do with trashing her own reputation? Like anyone's going to believe that. Or that she'll bet the £25 million she's going to sue for.
M. Porter, chairman of the BMA, who sees nothing wrong with idle NHS managers and clerks letting foreigners get away with £2 BILLION of unpaid treatments. [Talk about discardables. Ed.]
“Far queue, far queue very much!” – Frank Zappa.
The Far Queue: the traditional parking place for everything "not wanted on voyage". |
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HM seeks VFM for her Xmas hampers
The consumer remains swindled
National power consumption at the end of October was provided mainly by gas & coal (70%) and nuclear (21%). Most of the rest was imported from France. Wind power contributed just 0.6%. And yet the government is carrying on with New Labour's crazy plan to 'decarbonize' Britain. Never mind Brexit, how does the PM think she's going to keep the lights on?
Captain Obvious wakes up
The not-so-great global warming swindlers have prattled on about atmospheric carbon dioxide levels for years, even though global temperatures reached a plateau level in 1998. Now, they have found that increasing use of coal for generating power in China, India, etc., is not raising atmospheric carbon dioxide proportionately. Because more carbon dioxide in the air encourages plant to grow more and mop up carbon dioxide. Which is not exactly new knowledge or even unexpected. [Except by GWS, apparently. Ed.]
We're doomed (again)
Mr. Trump has declared an end to his country's participation in the not-so-great global warming swindle and a return to the use of coal, oil and gas assets. According to the BBC World Service, this will pose a terrible new threat to the ozone layer!
You don't have to look very far to find an idiot wherever you are.
Eternal Mounting Scorchio
Guess what? This year is going to be the hottest year in recorded history. Which is becoming an annual event promoted by the not-so-great global warming swindlers. Of course, this latest hottest year thing is just an "assessment" intended to support the GWS at the UN, who are having another of their junket conferences in Morocco.
Data disaster
Oh, dear. The Global Warming Swindlers have suffered another reverse. Data from the notebooks of polar explorers visiting the Antarctic up to a century ago has shown that the extent of the ice shelf there hasn't decreased due to global warming. In fact, it has grown slightly over the 30 years for which there have been satellite observations.
So the GWS are now telling us that the South Pole is less sensitive to climate change than the North Pole. Which kind of takes the global out of global warming.
BTW: still no word on why the North Pole isn't ice-free during the summer, as predicted by the GWS. Also, why are the GWS still being allowed to get away with their claim that if sea ice melts, world sea levels will rise? If a ton of seawater freezes, ice of lower density than water is produced, and the result is a one-ton iceberg, which floats on water with part of its bulk projecting above the surface of the water. But if the iceberg melts, it becomes a ton of water again, and there is no change to the sea level. But, of course, the laws of physics are inconvenient to GWS.
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Professor Brainstorm strikes again!
The prisons minister, S. Gylmah, has come up with the bright idea of posting trained eagles at prisons to intercept the drones bearing contraband flown in by criminal associates. But why an eagle would mistake a drone for something edible has yet to be explained.
Up in smoke
A man who was arrested in St. Albans has admitted six charges of possessing old firearms. The police announced that there could have been six more charges but they cannot be laid as the evidence was blown up. Any old excuse to avoid doing a spot of work?
Losers' Selective Justice
Frustrated Bremoaners are trying to get the CPS to bring criminal prosecutions for giving voters "misleading" information during the great EU referendum campaign. Of course, only Brexit advocates would face charges and everyone who had a hand in Project Fear and other Bremoan propaganda would not be banged up. The Bremoaners have had the cheek to send a letter of demands to the CPS. Sounds like the Bremoaners should be locked up for attempting to waste taxpayers' cash.
Situation Normal: total incompetence
The Metropolitan Police farce has received a well-deserved savaging by the judge who investigated its Operation Midland. Five senior officers, who accepted fantasies about VIP sex abuse as the truth without any investigation, have been referred to their professional standards organization. The current boss of the Met, Hulk Hogan Hypen Howe, has been declared blameless despite presiding over the shambles (!), so it looks like the Teflontm coating is still working. Only 15% of the judge's report has been published, however. The rest has been concealed or redacted.
No police officers are expected to be sacked or lose pension privileges over wasting millions of pounds of taxpayers' cash.
Easily solved problem
'Uman Rightists are up in arms over the use of spit-hoods to prevent criminals from spitting at police officers. Fine. Their use can be abolished if the rules are changed to allow coppers to smack the spitter around the back of the head, in the manner of Special Agent Gibbs of TV's NCIS, every time the criminal is disgusting.
Government is bad for your health
New Labour bribed motorists to pick diesel-fuelled vehicles on spurious global warming grounds. Now, we're being told that particulates emitted by diesel engines are the cause of lethal air pollution in cities, and owners of diesel-engined vehicles are going to have to pay a pollution tax to drive into 16 cities. Which won't do anything about air pollution but will put cash into the government's coffers to fund the next assault on the nation's health.
Liberals are bad for your health
Nick Clegg is busting a gut to legalize cannabis but what is the experience in Colorado, where it has been legal for a while? Deaths on the roads due to drugged-up drivers have risen, the murder rate is up, the crime rate in Denver is up 48%, and the untaxed black market in pot is doing a roaring trade. But hey, what has Clegg to do with reality?
A bit of positive news for the pound for a change
The value of the pound against foreign currencies took a modest hop upwards in response to the news that the current deadleg BoE governor will not be hanging on for his full term; he'll be going a couple of years early, which will save the taxpayer the best part of a couple of million quid in salary and undeserved perks.
Everything's coded messages, these days
Take the FIFI ban on England and Scotland wearing poppies on their shirts for an international football match. Decoded, the message reads: "Where's the effin' bung?"
Other people's money, natch
The millions of migrants imported into Germany by the Merkle regime are hoovering up a total of £13 BILLION of taxpayers' money per year. And the German government expects to be throwing an extra £70 BILLION at them over the next 4 years.
More rewards for failure
The EU is giving its useless gang of civil servants a pay rise of 3.8%, so that's a Xmas bonus of €5K for Juncker the Cluncker, the president of the Europeon Commission, and a total wave of around €400K for a failed Luxemburger politician, who specialized in helping to facilitate international tax dodging.
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Not the whole story
President O'bummer took office with the slogan ‘Yes, we can!' Eight years in the job, and nothing of any great value achieved, have shown that the slogan should have been ‘Yes, we can! But we can't be arsed!'
Posturing by the Clyde
Glasgow is to provide the country's first official shooting gallery for drug addicts. Research elsewhere has found that providing addicts with somewhere to shoot up on the taxpayer conveys no benefits in terms of health and persuading the addicts to stop taking drugs. But Scotland under Wee Burney Sturgeon is now the land of "look at me" gestures.
The Right Direction
One of our correspondents writes:
The raucous H. Clinton has just been ranting on the TV news about not going back, she's going forward. But if going back means returning to a government system which is a corrupt mess, and going forward with the same people means more of the same, wouldn't it be a good idea to go sideways with different people in charge? After all, they could hardly make things worse.
The Russians have denied launching hacking cyber attacks on Britain. So it must be true that they're doing it.
M. Le Pits
The French president, F. Hollande, has found a place in the Guinness Book of Records. His approval rating of 4% is the lowest since records began in 1846. Even Charles de Gaulle [the greatest cross I have to bear is the Cross of Lorraine; W. Churchill], whose subjects took to the streets in open revolt in their millions in 1968, never dropped that low.
That's very noble and European of Prince Harry: taking up with Chancellor Merkle's daughter, Megan.
A year of achievement
Brexit. President Trump. What next? Tony B. Liar in gaol?
M. Le Pits, part II
President O'Bummer got a typical Greek welcome when he dropped in on their president in Athens: commies rioting and chucking fire bombs on the streets in an action replay of their reception for Bill Clinton when he did a stop-over in 1999, and dumb insolence and dirty looks from the guys in tutus and tights guarding the presidential palace. Clearly, no one told the outgoing US president that November is the official Bad Behaviour Month for Greece's communists.
Just a thought
If President Trump every goes to Moscow to meet Vlad the Putin, he'd be well advised to take a pocket Geiger counter with him to make sure that the tea is polonium-free.
No big payday; how sad
The Home Sec. has ruled that there will be no public inquiry into the policing of the miners' violence at the Orgreave coking plant during the 1984 strike. No one was killed (there, at least, although there were deaths at the hands of strike supporters) and no one was wrongly convicted. Lefty luvvy lawyers are outraged at the denial of an opportunity to rewrite history at the expense of the taxpayer.
Quick, think of something crazy!
The Democraps must be in real trouble if they think anyone will believe that The Donald's election campaign is being run from the Kremlin! But they have such an appalling and grabbing B. Liar of a candidate that every barrel must be scraped.
It's democracy. Suck it up.
Who decided that judges are gods whose decisions are absolute? These pampered customers @ the public-sector trough deliver mere opinions, and in a democracy, newspapers and members of the public have an absolute right to disagree with those opinions, and do so forcefully, no matter how much it upsets vested interests and the luvvie lobby.
What!?
The EU must beef up its military capabilities to match the threat from NATO, says the German defence minister.
TV gets off the ground
The BBC is celebrating the start of its television broadcasts in November 1936, when it offered 7 hours of viewing of dubious value to the three or four people in the London area, who had a television viewing apparatus.
Of course, the Germans will tell you they got there first with their broadcasts of their Olympic Games to public viewing rooms in Berlin and Potsdam.
Mighty moot point
Are there lots of complaints about noise from Heathrow airport? Given that 50% of the gripes have been found to come from just 10 individuals, it's difficult to know!
A Law Made By Asses
The Hunting Act (2004) has turned out to be yet another piece of New Labour class hatred legislation which has achieved the exact opposite of its intentions. Membership of the registered hunts has never been higher and the demand for premium horses, which can jump obstacles and follow hounds, goes up and up.
This one deserves a biscuit
The Students' Union @ Reading University has come up with a good excuse for not entering University Challenge, which it has no hope of winning. The young fogeys have decided that they've been upset by Paxo the Inquisitor's sexist remarks about their girls and they're too deep in a huff to be able to pick a team.
Surprise! The remark that got the precious ones into a huff wasn't even sexist. It was about a Reading U mascot in the form of a knitted doll, which didn't look anything like Paxperson. But hey, when you need to make a silly gesture to get yourself noticed, any old excuse will do.
For once, some real magic from the England football team
That Screw You, FIFA, We're Wearing Poppies international turned out to be a really strange affair. The Scots turned up disguised as Pink Panthers and England delivered a mirror-image of their normal performance. Instead of England thrashing about and getting nowhere near the goal, the Scots delivered a number of fruitless shocks and England kept sticking the ball in the net.
Maybe this game can be preserved in aspic as a reminder of what England can do on their day.
Recalled to Life? Probably not.
The case of the 14-year-old girl, who was frozen after she died in the hope of being revived 200 years from no, has raised some predictable views. Such as:
"The soul leaves the body at death so a reanimated body would be a soul-less zombie."
And the evidence for this claim is . . . ? Entirely absent, it would appear. It's an opinion as lacking in proof as the notion that a frozen corpse can be reanimated.
Dear Correspondent . . .
Dear Mr. Major,
Thank you for offering your view that the tail should wag the dog and not vice versa. I am writing to let you know that your view has been noted and that it will be ignored.
Yours faithfully,
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