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 2013/November 
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A shining beacon of enlightenment in an era of Tory/Labour/Leftie-luvvie censorship and attempts to cover up their often unsavoury and frequently criminal activities.

Crime News
 REALLY SERIOUS CRIME NEWS 

Police officers commit more crimes than criminals?

Police "service" managers are currently committing fraud on a massive scale by making crimes vanish into thin air to create an illusion of a falling crime rate, the Commons Public Administration Committee has been told. The Metropolitan police "service", for instance, routinely makes up to 80% of some categories of serious crime vanish. Harassing the victims to crime to force them to downgrade or withdraw a complaint is the favoured tactic.

We're lucky they bother to turn up at all
MPs are using next year's Scottish independence referendum as an excuse for taking another week off. They are planning to show up at Parliament for just 36 weeks in 2014, having given themselves 16 weeks' holiday.

No wonder people hate bankers
State-controlled Royal Bank of Scotland and Lloyds bank have been accused of "systematic and institutional" fraud of the sort that should end with people going to gaol. They stand accused of swindling small businesses into insolvency in order to buy the small company's property at a knock-down price. [They almost make the Co-op Bank look ethical. Almost. Ed.]

Why did MPs steal from the taxpayer with fraudulent expenses claims?
Because they were bored and underemployed, according to Berko, the Squeaker of the Commons. [Expenses £100K over the last 3 years. Ed.]

 HISTORY NEWS 

Where there's a weirdo, there's a way
English Heritage is claiming that its funds for installing Blue Plaques are in such short supply that the scheme has had to be suspended. How curious, then, that they managed to find the cash to put one on the spot where Tony B. Liar proclaimed himself to be the People's Princess.

Same offence, different outcomes
How curious that Labour has suspended the Rev. Flowers, the former head of the collapsible Co-op bank, for bringing the party into disrepute with his antics with drugs and rent boys. How curious that messers Broon, Balls, Milipede et al didn't get the same treatment for wrecking the British economy with their acts of deliberate political stupidity.

Typical bloody Bliar – he plotted to get rid of Mugabe but never got the job done.

 WASTE NEWS 

There's stupid and there's politics
British taxpayers have paid out £4,000,000 pounds to fund Ethiopia's version of the Spice Girls. They have their own radio show, which reaches just a small fraction of the population and, no doubt, Dopey Dave the Leader and the wretches at DfID (Greening, Duncan & Featherbrain) think they're doing a grand job.

 WAR NEWS 

There's fair and there's politics
Ship building in Portsmouth, revived this century after a gap of decades, is about to go back into the dustbin of history to saves jobs in Scotland as a bribe ahead of the independence referendum.

Crocodile tears
Former New Labour ministers are rushing to tell us what a blunder Tony B. Liar's open-door policy on migration was. But we note that none of them is offering to give up one-half of an over-generous politician's pension as a penance for doing a lousy job on the public payroll by supporting Mr. Liar when he was doing the damage.
   It's all very well for sacked Cabinet minister Blunk to complain about Roma families cluttering up the streets where he lives, but he, J. Straw and all the rest knew at the time that their policy on migration was a cynical act of gerrymandering with malicious political intent. So they deserve no sympathy when they moan about having to live with the consequences.
   Nor do they deserve the peerages they're lobbying for.
A. Johnson has joined the list of former home secretaries, who are now saying that New Labour got it wrong on immigration – with a lot of help from him. Yet another one after a peerage?

More New Labour aspirations exposed as just hot air
Tony B. Liar's main objective in sending troops to Afghanistan for a bit of a lurk with no harm done was to eradicate the opium trade. Opium production is now at record levels, as is corruption in the Afghan government, 446 British troops have been killed and thousands more have been injured and maimed.

Strange noises off-stage
If you hear the sound of wailing and gnashing of teeth, it's the Balls Monster celebrating Britain's first steps along the road to recovery from the mess that he helped to create with Red Ed Milipede and the rest of the New Labour Stooges.

40% of the British electorate are so fed up with politics that they plan to boycott the next general election.

Sacked London mayor K. Livingstone bad-mouthing sacked prime monster G. Broon is like what? Attila the Hun calling Vlad the Impaler a psychopath? Jack the Ripper calling Dracula a wimp?

Is a leaked email by E. Milipede describing the Balls Monster as a "nightmare" a shock? Not really. It's an unavoidable conclusion.

 CLIMATE NEWS 

global warming sloganRepeat Performance
The areas which were battered by the St. Jude's Day storm in October will receive another going over at the first weekend of the month. There will be gales and there will be floods. Those living in less important parts of the country than the South of England can expect to be spared the inconvenience.

global warming sloganDon't believe a word of it
The BBC claimed that the gale at the end of last month was the worst for 2½ decades. In fact, it was merely the worst since one in 2007, which had higher wind velocities. But we all know that the Biased Broadcasting Company has a Warmist agenda to plug.
The October just gone was the 8th warmest in the last 100 years, the 10th wettest and 82nd in terms of sunniest.

global warming sloganAlarmist Swindlers with a new tale?
The meteor which exploded over Chelyabinsk in February is alleged to be something we should be worried about because of the "increased threat from space rocks smashing into the Earth". But the threat level now is just the same as it has been for millions of years. But, no doubt, we're about to be told that man-made global warming on the Earth is attracting more space rocks somehow.

global warming sloganStrongest Tropical Storm on Record Surprise
Typhoon Haiyan is Category 5 (and a bit) and it has given the Philippines a good going over. Naturally, the government of the Philippines has lined up with the Warmist to claim that man-made climate change is increasing the ferocity and frequency of storms. [Mainly hoping for compensation from the nations which are blamed for causing global warming, i.e. us but not the Chinese, the Indians and other major carbon dioxide producers. Ed.] But the surprising thing is that the director of meteorology at US-based Weather Underground has actually gone on record to say that it is premature to blame climate change because the available historical data is scanty, to say the least. But, no doubt, his lone voice of sanity will be drowned out by the usual suspects.

global warming sloganAnother jumps ship
Following the lead of Canada and Australia, Japan has abandoned the Great Global Warming Swindle. The government had decided to ignore targets set for reducing greenhouse gas emission @ Kyoto in 1997.
   Meanwhile, Dopey Dave the Leader is attracting derision from all sides by trying to blame Typhoon Haiyan on man-made global warming as an excuse for letting the Liberals increase Britain's bogus green taxes.

global warming sloganReality bites Dave's ass
Dave the Leader once swore blind that he would lead the greenest government in the whole history of the universe. But things change and there are no votes in the Great Global Warming Swindle any more. So Dave had ordered his gang to "cut the Green crap" as a way of sparing taxpayers from part of one of the most pernicious taxes of all time.
[Will he also get rid of the cute but useless windmill he had strapped to the family home as an empty political gesture? Ed.]

The EU is grabbing an extra £1.5 billion from British taxpayers to blow on global warming swindles in poor countries – on projects which will achieve nothing at all.

space news
 SPACE NEWS 

Hooray for aid money!

Klingon India has blown a ton of British taxpayers' cash on sending an orbiter to Mars. The vehicle will contribute very little to pushing back the frontiers of knowledge but China tried to do the same, and flopped badly, and the world's biggest Carbon Emitters are in an ass-kicking contest for space supremacy. So it's all politics, bogus national prestige and ripping off the British taxpayer, and it doesn't really matter that one-third of Indian children are malnourished and 50% of Indians don't have a toilet. Especially as the space programme contributes to India's missile technology, which is seen as vital with a major enemy on the doorstep: Pakistan.
A mouthpiece for the Department for International Development is claiming that not a penny of British taxpayers' cash has gone to the Indian space programme, which is total bollocks. They've had the money and they wouldn't have been able to afford the space programme without it.
Britain is also funding oil-rich Nigeria's space programme, courtesy of DfID.

Want an excuse to panic?
Astronomers in Ukraine have detected a space rock, which could hit the Earth in 2032. 2013 TV135 is 410 metres wide, and could do 50 times the damage of the biggest nuclear bomb ever detonated. Its chances of hitting Earth are currently estimated at 1 in 63,000, and the accuracy will improve as the asteroid's orbit becomes better defined.
Only one other asteroid has a chance of hitting Earth in the near future. 2007 VK184, diameter 130 metres, has a 1 in 1,820 of impacting on June 3rd, 2048. But NASA estimates that the chance of any other near-Earth asteroid hitting us in the next century is "effectively zero".
Stop Press: There's another space rock to worry about. 2013 UG1 has a diameter of 100-150 metres and scientists at Pisa university reckon it could come as close to Earth as 7,000 km on 17th October, 2065.

Comet ISON is still in one piece; some astronomers were predicting that it would break up into fragments when the Sun started warming it; and the visitor is on course for its closest encounter with the Sun on November 28th and a close approach to Earth on 26th December at a range of 39.9 million miles.

 ART NEWS 

Highly suspiditious!
The authorities in Münich appear to have some serious questions to answer in re the Affaire Gurlitt, the most pressing being why they covered up the illegal seizure of Cornelius Gurlitt's collection of Degenerate Art for around two and a half years. The excuse that they were trying to establish ownership simply won't wash as the arguments will go on for decades – if not scores of decades.
Herr Gurlitt, who is believed to have a secret Swiss bank account under another name, has done the sensible thing in the circumstances and disappeared – some say to spend more time with his second secret stash.

Crime News
 CRIME NEWS 

A clear case of false pretences?

Gordon Broon is now claiming to be an ex-politician. So will the police be feeling his collar and busting him for fraud? Because he's currently drawing a salary from the British taxpayer for serving as an MP. A job he no longer appears to be doing.

More false pretences
The House of Commons' home affairs select committee has concluded that the police "inquiries" into the Plebgate frame-up were just hollow shams. It would appear that everyone who was involved in stitching up former Tory chief whip A. Mitchell – from the coppers who lied about their encounter with him right up to the chief constables who applied the whitewash – is a disgrace to their police "service".

No austerity here, then?
The geniuses running the European Commission have spent £5,700,000,000 "by mistake". Apparently, it has all gone on unauthorized projects, which explains why the EU's Court of Auditors have refused to sign off on the accounts for the last 2 decades. Britain can expect a bill for £800,000,000 as our share of the illegal spending. Will Dave the Leader have the guts to tell the EU to get lost? Or will he just do what he usually does; pay up and blame the Liberals for twisting his arm?

Nothing better to do, obviously
The PC junkies have come up with another one – ableism. It can take two forms: 1. mindless prejudice against people who can actually do things for being clever or showing initiative, and 2. an automatic assumption on the part of the PC than anyone who can do something which others can't – because the others are too dim, too lazy or have a physical incapacity – must be a bad person.
   There is also the allied concept of unableism, which is frequently applied to politicians as an excuse for keeping quiet about their inability to make changes which have an actual benefit to the nation and their general uselessness.

File & Forget
The police have given up on the "Spy In The Bag" case. Gareth Williams, who worked for MI6 as a code-breaker, was found dead in a 32" x 19" holdall. At the inquest, the coroner ruled that he was probably unlawfully killed, as he could not have got into the bag himself and locked it.
   A sloppy police investigation, compounded by obstruction from MI6 and strong suspicions of evidence tampering and removal, has got nowhere for 3 years. Accordingly, the police have taken the easy way out by sticking an "Accident" label on the file.

Trust is in extremely short supply
Cheap constables are doing an excellent job of turning a blind eye to the public's complaints about rude, lazy and negligent members of their staff. So good, in fact, that the Police Minister plans to strip them of their current investigative powers. The Independent Police Complaints Commission will be expanded to ensure that such investigations are performed honestly and transparently in future, and that the coating of whitewash will be thinned to an acceptable level.

Announcement they daren't post:
West Mercia police would like to offer their sincerest thanks to the guy who let them close the M42 in both directions for 26 hours in response to his threat to hurl himself off a bridge. The inconvenience level experience by motorists reached a truly gratifying level.

Justice for all? Joke!
D. MacShane, a former labour Europe minister, is facing gaol over swindling the taxpayer with bogus expenses claims worth £13,000. On the other hand, the former best mate of Red Ed Milipede and the Balls Monster, the Rev. Flowers, has been accused of doing a charity for £150,000 in fake expenses claims plus investigation costs. So will he go to gaol for 12x as long as MacShane? Or will he get away with it? [Probably the latter. Ed.]

 HEALTH NEWS 

How wonderful!
After years of being told that polyunsaturates are the key to eternal life, everything has been put into reverse. A new study has found that butter is actually better for you, as far as preventing heart disease and strokes goes, than all the artificial concoctions offered as a substitute.

Some Dell laptops are being sold with an unusual extra – a strong smell of cat-pee.

You have to laugh
After all the sound and fury about free range eggs and chickens, a study has found that the fanatics got it totally wrong. Chickens living in cages indoors are less stressed and less pecked than those running around in a pack outside.

Just to be clear
There is absolutely no connection between Red Ed Milipede dropping the official Labour party investigation into vote rigging in the Falkirk West constituency and the union Unite, which was being investigated, giving Labour's bank balance a tonic with a donation of £780,000, which was made a fortnight after the investigation was dropped.

"Is this proof that copper can heal arthritis?" the advertisement asks. "No," we reply, "it's proof that people will tell you anything to sell you something."

New Labour's culture of targets and "no bad news" is being blamed for 50,000 excess NHS deaths between 2001 and 2010.

Tell 'em nothing
The Food Standards Agency and the Ministry of Agriculture (a.k.a. DEFRA) are keeping secret, the identity of the turkey ranch in East Anglia where the inmates have MRSA. The strain is non-human and causes a skin rash similar to eczema. It can be killed by thorough cooking, the experts say, and the public shouldn't be warned about what they're buying.

travel news
 TRAVEL NEWS 


More ripping-off
Compared to 1987 prices, the current cost of a new car is half as much as it was then, but vehicle tax + insurance has shot up by 117%, and petrol and oil have gone up by 64% – mainly due to taxes imposes by successive governments.

Short-changed
The newspaper publishers who went to the High Court to try to stop the political community from imposing press censorship should be asking for their money back. The two judges retired for 15 minutes and came back with a 9-page, 3,000 word ruling – something which could never have been knocked out in a quarter of an hour – indicating that they had clearly made up their minds beforehand and the newspaper industry never had a chance of winning. This is skating on the borderland of false pretences, and clearly a case for a full refund of costs and an apology.

Something else to thank New Labour for
Between 1995 and 2005, migrants from outside the EU took £100 BILLION more from the British taxpayer than they contributed to the Exchequer.

Think of a number . . .
The accountants KPMG, paid £250K of taxpayers' cash to make a case for the H2S rail link, have been accused of inventing the £15 BILLION claimed as benefits. Academic experts reckon there is no statistical basis for the number, and it was conjured up with the aid of a lot of cherry-picking.

Its what the grabbing sods do
Is anyone surprised to find that MPs use All Party Parliamentary Group jaunts abroad to set up private business deals to feather their own nests? No, we didn't think anyone would be.

What use is the European Commission?
Spain's deliberate harassment of people travelling to and from Gibraltar this year was perfectly okay, the EC has ruled. Deliberate harassment by a government other than the British government does not contravene the EU's laws on free movement, free trade and 'uman bluddy rights. Brainless bozos, or what?

 DOSH NEWS 

They didn't want you to know this, but . . .
Illegal migrants cost the British taxpayer £3,700,000,000 per year by making illegal use of the NHS, the education system and other services, to which they have made no financial contribution.

Lots of hot air . . .
The energy secretary, E. Davey, has vowed to send energy company bosses to gaol if they rig the market. No doubt they'll be sharing cells with all the bankers who went to gaol for rigging interest rates, etc. The Opposition has been muttering darkly about hidden cartel trading schemes, but has not yet felt the inclination to offer any concrete proof of wrongdoing.

It's only taxpayers' cash
The BBC has recruited a former Tony B. Liar spin doctor to help polish its reputation post Savile and a multitude of financial scandals. Well, that's going to work.
The lucky sucker was handed the job by the Director of Strategy, who just happens to be a former Labour minister, and who made no attempt to consider other candidates. Figures.

Don't hold your breath
70% of voters think that the BBC licence fee should be scrapped. But as that is about the proportion of MPs who get income, in one form or another, from the Beeb, change is unlikely in our lifetimes.

More grabbing from the taxpayer
Why are MPs so relaxed about the energy companies ripping off their customers? Well, that fact that over half of them are putting the energy bills for their second homes on their taxpayer-funded expenses could have a lot to do with it.
The surprising aspect of this revelation is that it's only about half of them at it.

Labour playing fields: never level
Is it the duty of the taxpayer to subsidize spare bedrooms in the homes of council tenants? Labour sez yes.
   Is it right for the govt. to give the same subsidy to private sector tenants? Labour sez no.

Cheap, they ain't!
An independent review of the machinations of the Association of Cheap Police Officers has recommended its abolition. At an annual cost to the taxpayer of £4.2 million, it can hardly be called cheap, and it acts as a boy's club by hiring former colleagues of the members as £1K/day consultants. And there's the usual lack of transparency and accountability, as well.

Are we surprised that Labour's current favourite banker [the former head of the Co-op bank] is a drug addict? Not really. Labour seems to go out of its way to make friends with the worst of the worst in the banking world. [The Co-op is the bank with the £1,500,000,000 Brown Hole in its accounts, the one that gives Labour a cheap overdraft and the one which supports 32 MPs, including the Balls Monster. Ed.]

25% of Council Tax collected in England goes on paying local government pensions, which are 3x better than anything available in the private sector.

 PROPAGANDA NEWS 

Victims or imposters?
Are we surprised that Labour's Poster Poor People aren't victims of savage cuts but they are where they are by choice and wallowing in New Labour's entitlement culture? Are we amazed to learn that Labour's Ordinary People are trendy mansion residents posing as members of the victim class (for a bit of a laugh?). Or are we resigned to being bombarded with phoneyness from Labour – like the adoring gangs of party stooges who welcomed Tony B. Liar to Downing Street in 1997 while posing as Real People? Sadly, the only things about Labour which are not lies are the incompetence and the greed.

Blame the parents
The solution to why Britain throws away 68% of the food that it buys has been found! It's all down to parents buying food for meals which their kids never get round to eating (because they're out doing other things) or food for meals which the kids won't be eating because they've left home. [Really? Ed.] A failure to get to grips with use-by dates also gets some of the blame.

Hidden agenda
It seems that the BBC is collecting millions of pounds of taxpayers' cash from EU institutions for spreading pro-EU propaganda; i.e. £4,500,000 in 2012. So much for the Beeb's claims that it is impartial, objective and ethical in its reporting.

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 JUST A THOUGHT 

Why do people offer only "the least they can do"? Why to the ungrateful sods never thing bigger and make a bit of an effort to do something decent?

world news
 WORLD NEWS 

Failed politician speaks out
In an attempt to get himself noticed, Lord Pillock is claiming that Britain's oil revenues were wasted. As he's famous only for sacking the only woman who was trying to stop it when he was the EU Corruption commissioner, one wonders why he bothered.

Hot air and jealousy
The European leaders' complaints about America's bugging activities have descended into petulance, which is a clear admission of jealousy. They'd love to bug President O'Bummer but they can't. So they're moaning about the state of levelness of the playing field, even though they know that playing fields are never level in the real world.

New Milipede career move?
The other one; the one who was rejected by the Labour party and moved to the USA to feather his nest; appears to be trying to establish a new career for himself as a bogus psychic. He is claiming that he knows what the views of the late president Kennedy would be on the EU – that JFK would be all in favour of Britain's sinking deeper into this thoroughly rotten institution.
[If that's the best he can do, he's not going to be a howling success! Ed.]

All just a coincidence?
Tony B. Liar gets himself a job advising the government of Malawi. Next thing you know, the whole Cabinet is sacked, millions of pounds of foreign aid money have vanished and anyone who dares to talk about the corruption becomes a target for a murder squad.

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

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Home News
 HOME NEWS 
UK Flag

The best place for it?
Failed bank the Royal Bank of Scotland has commissioned a portrait of its recent interim boss S. Hester. He was brought in to repair the damage wrought by Fred the unknighted Shred, and he presided over the distribution of massive bonuses even though the bank was losing money hand over fist. It has been suggested that the portrait should to be hung in the washroom for visiting members of the public with a set of darts handy.

No need to ask, we know the answer
Will the boy Milipede reopen the whitewash/investigation into vote-rigging by Labour's paymaster Unite in the Falkirk West constituency? No, because he knows he won't like the outcome of an honest investigation.

Terror suspect strolls into mosque, terror suspect sneaks out the back door in a burka and legs it. You couldn't Littlejohn make it up!
Terror suspect legs it but British legal system continues to give him legal aid to pursue a claim for millions for torture abroad and continues the court proceedings in secret.

By the way, if you're still waiting for the Chilcot Inquiry to report on the dodginess which went on before Tony B. Liar and his gang dragged us into an illegal war in Iraq in 2003, you're in for a big disappointment. The Establishment is hiding vital material to protect the guilty.

The UK Border Agency evicts only 1.5% of illegal migrants and ignores 94% of tip-offs about illegals.

Far Queue List

Far Queue symbol E. Ballsup, who donated £700K of taxpayers' cash to Sharon Shoesmith, plus the £200,000 spent fending off her demands for £1.5 million.

Far Queue symbol Facebook, which banned one bloke for daring to admit that he likes faggots, and another for having the temerity to post a picture of a plateful of the offal meatballs, but is quite cool about hosting videos of people having their head hacked off by Islamists.

Far Queue symbol Leicester Police, who, despite "the savage cuts", have so little to do on a Saturday night that they can send pairs of coppers to bully small boys.

Far Queue symbol The students' union at Birmingham University, which won't let the inmates go to a fancy dress do wearing a sombrero and a fake moustache on the spurious grounds that it's "racist". Singled out for a special hypocrisy award: the officer of the union who dressed up in a sombrero in an official video promoting a local joke shop. No doubt all those involved in this bigotry will be heading for a job as a Labour MP in due course.

Far Queue symbol The Court of Appeal, which ruled that Newcastle council has to pay for flying lessons for an asylum seeker who is due to be booted out of the country next year. So that's £10,000 down the drain, plus the cost of the legal proceedings. (50 grand?)

Far Queue symbol The petty Hitler in Warrington borough council's transportation dept., who banned a lollypop man from doing a high-5 with his customers.

Far Queue symbol Lord Neuberger, who thinks short prison sentences are a bad idea because they disrupt the criminal's home life. And prisons shouldn't have bossy notices and cheap furniture!

Far Queue symbol Hungarian EU commissioner L. Andor, who thinks Britain will become the "nasty country" of Europe if we keep out undesirable migrants.

Far Queue symbol "Far queue, far queue very much!" – Frank Zappa.

The Far Queue: the traditional parking place for everything "not wanted on voyage".

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to set the record straight in the 3rd millennium. © RAL, November MM13.