Brown Reject Booted Out!
Election monitors from many members of the British Commonwealth have arrived in the mother country to oversee this month's general election. The scrutineers are aware that it is being held under the most corrupt British government in living memory. It is believed that some of them are hoping to pick up tips from New Labour for their own coming national elections.
Back to business as usual
Bust for some, boom for others
Not many ways to do it left!
Gordon Brown has blown the nation's entire wealth and plunged us deep into debt. So there will be no news in this section until further notice.
Greece vs The Real World
Big bucks in the south-west?
How do you spell 'chicken'? C-A-B-L-E!
How come an ipod costs a fortune when the workers who make them are paid just 30p/hour?
Another Labour Legacy
1. Is there anything illegal about being a "Crossbow Cannibal"?
Ministers in the new Coalition Government can't use a chauffeur-driven car to go home to their constituency. They have to travel second-class on a train like the peasants. But, for security reasons, their red boxes of documents have to travel by official car. But, because of the new rules, the minister isn't allowed to ride along in the car. Don't expect this to make an sense because it's politics and nothing to do with the real world. Rather like David Cameron cycling to work at the House of Common Criminals under the Brown Regime, pretending he was saving the planet while an official car tagged along behind him carrying his official documents.
The airlines have ended up in an ass-kicking contest with the Civil Aviation Authority over when it is safe to fly with volcanic ash in the air. With profits plummeting, the airlines seem to be getting the safe limit raised on a daily basis, armed with more blunders by the Met Office, that hotbed of Global Warming Swindlers.
Climate Change no longer matters!
A passing fancy
Channel 4 is just another tool of the Global Warming Swindlers
. . . that a 'burly man in a mask' broke a window to gain entry, watched by CCTV, slashed 5 paintings out of their frames and strolled off with around £450 million in a readily portable form.
KNOW YOUR CURRENCY
Attention all users of British currency. The Nine Bob Note, commonly known as "The Gordon":
has been withdrawn from circulation and replaced by the Coalition Quid:
NOTE: The Bonk of England will NOT redeem any Gordons still in circulation, so anyone still in possession of these banknotes will just have to live with another Labour bad debt.
The wimmin in the Labour party seem to have chickened out of trying for the leadership now that the brown bunion is no longer there. The same is almost true of the blokes. As a result, the leadership 'contest' has come down to Milipede versus Milipede, leaving those with a vote the problem of telling them apart. An expert offered BFN the following guidance: " One is an enviro-bozo, who thinks windmills are a sensible alternative to proper power stations and the other is just a bozo who waves banana around."
[But only after G. Broon is evicted from 10 Downing Street and hurled into the dustbin of history.] Its members stole from the taxpayer with a staggering sense of entitlement. New Labour corrupted the civil service, squandered the nation's reserves and resources, and destroyed a thriving system of private pensions and savings. Its legacy is a staggering Brown Hole of debt and its hallmark is a culture of rewards for failure. It will not be missed.
He ranks alongside Lord North, Harold Wilson and Tony Blair in the dustbin of history. His unfitness for public office was exceeded only by his sense of entitlement to hold the top job in British politics. He trashed the British economy as Chancellor and sulked his way into the prime minister's job when Tony Blair abandoned it to cash in the favours done during his period of office.
The man who created heroic fantasy visions of the heroes of Edgar Rice Burroughs and Robert E. Howard had the good sense to keep control of most of his work. Original paintings, including super-butch images of Tarzan, Conan the Barbarian and Burroughs' heroes of adventures on Mars and Venus, are on show at the museum in the grounds of the family estate in Pennsylvania. Mr. Frazetta began his career in comic strips, drawing for many types, and became a book cover artist for crime, horror and science fiction titles. He was recruited to design epic film posters when the moguls of Hollywood noticed his work in Mad magazine. A brief excursion into the world of animated films didn't work out but his paintings were commissioned for a new field; the covers of LPs & CDs by the likes of Nazareth and Molly Hatchet.
Dio had a talent for not being just one of the guys. He achieved success as a member of Rainbow but left over musical differences with Ritchie Blackmore. He fronted Black Sabbath after Ozzy for a highly successful period before leaving to form his own band following volume differences over the loudness of his vocals. As the front man of Dio, he was in charge and he remained the boss through 10 albums and twenty-odd years. He stayed in touch with Sabbaf, though, and his final tour was made as a member of Heaven & Hell, a Sabbaf clone also starring Tony Iommi, Terry Butler and Vinny Appice.
The HIP was a rip-off pricewise, no one took any notice of their contents, it was cheaper to pay the fine for not having one than to buy a HIP and their main reason for existence was to help New Labour put up Council Tax. Home owners wasted £1 billion on them before the Coalition abolished them this month. Only the thousands of people who trained to issue them are sorry to see them go.
The voice of Lord Charles, the tipsy, noble ventriloquist's doll, has been stilled. Ray Alan was rated the country's top performer in the field for keeping his mouth still while the doll was 'talking', and his career in show biz lasted around 65 years, from call boy at the Lewisham Hippodrome Theatre through stage and TV work to cruise ship entertainment and corporate events into the early part of this year. Mr. Alan branched out into writing during his final decade, and his third crime novel was published in February.
An expert on the work of Lewis Carroll, Mr. Gardner was a journalist with a talent for making mathematics interesting and accessible to a mass audience. He wrote a regular Mathematical Games column for Scientific American and joined a group of like-minded other (including Carl Sagan and Isaac Asimov) to debunk bogus psychics. He wrote over 70 books, puzzles books as well as fiction, poetry and works of literary and film criticism, and he resisted the lure of the personal computer.
He was an experimental psychologist, whose main area of work was understanding visual perception and illusion. He explained how the eye and brain work together using a blend of incoming data and previous experience, and explored how the brain can be confounded by ambiguous objects and fooled into accepting reality in drawings of 'impossible objects'. Like Martin Gardener, he could add a sense of fun to his work. He was a founding member of the Experimental Psychology Society and elected a Fellow of the Royal Society in 1992.
He was a man who enjoyed life to the limits of rehab repair. He had an unfortunate collision with reality in his first film, the James Dean vehicle Rebel Without A Cause (1955), but 14 years later, he made a huge impact with Easy Rider, which he co-wrote and directed when not acting with Peter Fonda & Jack Nicholson. His career then plunged into decline and rose again, but never to the same heights. In addition to a lot of partying, Mr. Hopper also managed to fit photography, painting, sculpture and 5 wives into his schedule, and it's a wonder he lasted so long.
Russian Special Forces have given a lead to our own lily-livered navy by taking back by force, an oil tanker seized by Somali pirates. The tanker Moscow University was liberated off Yemen and the 10 surviving pirates face a free trip to Siberia.
No longer safe from crime!
Really tough on crime!
Google admits spying on UK for 3 years
Policing For Pennies
Bury the bozos, please!
"Uni Prof in Crossbow Cannibal Probe" headlines just don't get any better than that!
If a criminologist is arrested for triple murder, that doesn't say much for the quality of his course or his skills as a student.
Israel's bid for "Top Pirate" status
A study of civil servants at Whitehall has found that working overtime gives them heart disease and kills them off at an early age which explains why most of them are idle sods. They never do any work in the hope that it will let them live long enough to enjoy the benefits of an undeserved gold-plated pension.
Something else that's really deadly . . .
BIG election news : Na, na, naa-na, Na, na, naa-na, Hey, hey, hey, Goodbye!
+ + + Police forces all over the country are investigating over 50 cases of suspected election fraud as electoral registers are packed with last-minute additions mainly non-resident relatives and phantoms + + + Gordon Brown 'is Britain's worst Prime Minister ever', says Labour election candidate Manish Sood, who has been warned that he faces 'sorting out' when the dust settles + + + Polling stations run out of ballot forms and build up long queues in the most shambolic election ever + + + Riot police called out when slowness of polling station staff prevents customers from voting, legal challenges to results to follow + + + SAS to be sent in to blow Brown out of Downing Street? + + + This is the most shambles and fraud-ridden general election ever, international observers say + + +
The first job of the incoming government should be to fire the members of the Boundary Commission and ensure that they never dip their noses into the public trough ever again as a punishment for maintaining a bias to the Labour party in the voting system for decades.
National Apology Needed
Election shambles sorted
Dozy, or what!
Dozy, or what! Part II
Electoral Commission next in firing line?
Brown to go, BUT . . .
Having done computers, the scammers are passing themselves off as the Telephone Protection Service, a knock-off of the legitimate Telephone Preference Service. The real TPS allows people to opt out of nuisance sales and marketing calls, and the service is free. The Indian scammers want 'a one-time payment of £19.99', and they are more than willing to take the victim's credit card details. As always, a 1471 after the call reveals that the caller did not leave a number; a sure sign of illegitimacy.
There has been no sign of Britain's worst ever prime minister since his rejection by the British people. Some commentators believe that he has just run away to hide for a while, but others see something more sinister in his disappearance. Could it be that, rather than an alliance with the Trivial Democrats, Mr. Broon is seeking much more powerful support for a minority regime?
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Snooker's No. 1 player, and the just deposed world champ, has been stitched up like the proverbial kipper by a Sunday 'newspaper' of the dirty vicar persuasion. The paper claims that John Higgins agreed to take a big wedge of cash in return for dropping frames to the benefit of a betting syndicate. He claims he went along with the scam because he was in fear and trembling for his life because he thought he was dealing with Russian gangsters. Which is a bloody good story, when you think about it.
Bad things happen to bad people
Cup Final drops below radar
Arizona says, "Up yours, L.A.!"
The price of progress
The Swiss-owned oil drilling rig Deepwater Horizon, which is gushing oil into the Gulf of Mexico at a phenomenal rate, is leased by BP. One likely cause of the leak is a failure of a sea-bed cementing operation by Haliburton, one of America's biggest defence contractors, on top of a failure of the blow-out prevention equipment, which didn't have a remotely controlled shut-off mechanism. Why? Because the United States, unlike most other off-shore oil producers, doesn't require one. But hey, ignore the Swiss equipment not working, an American company not doing a proper job and the US government failing to pass effective safety legislation. There's a British bad guy for Pres. O'Bummer to blame.
What use are they anyway?
"Let there be life!"
Some people are still doing okay