Black Flag News
 
 2009/November 
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No. 10 Certificate of EndorsementEvery edition of BFN is compiled
in accordance with official 10 Downing Street guidelines on accuracy and veracity.

 EU NEWS 

  Political pygmies sneak on to world stage

The EU, better out than inThe dice have been rolled and the scaremongering has paid off. The war criminal Blair won't be the EU's first unelected president – that gig goes to a Belgian federalist, the prime monster of a country which is coming apart at the seams as Flemings battle with Walloons for control of their national identity. Mr. Rumpy-Pumpy's preferred solution to that problem is to abolish national identities in favour of a grey EU sameness.
   The boy Milipede has also been booted into touch. The EU's unelected foreign secretary will be an anonymous Labour peer, who's a serial quangocrat. She is totally unqualified for the job, but as it's the EU, that doesn't matter.
 • G. Brown is such a big pal of the EUFM, Lady Ashton, that he thinks she's Lady Ashdown, Paddy Ashdown's missus(?)

The EU, Harmonized and Homogenized

The EU, better out than inJoin and be screwed?
The benefits associated with the European Union's single market add up to £180 BILLION per year.
The costs of the associated bureaucracy add up to £600 BILLION per year. Does membership still sound like a good deal?
 – source: G Verheugen, EU Commissioner for Enterprise

 CLIMATE NEWS 
  Save the planet, or just steal it?

climate change sloganThe Court of Public Opinion might just be heading for a small victory over the massed ranks of the UN's Global Warming Swindlers. Might. Politicians getting together for the Copenhagen summit on climate control (joke!) might be forced to ignore the dire warnings from the International Panel on Climate Change because their taxpayers are in revolt against Climate Stealth Taxes which are just taxes.

climate change sloganThey just don't get it
For the benefit of all those 'experts' who rail against people who challenge the Global Warming Swindlers – you should realize that they aren't denying that the Earth's climate changes. What they are refusing to believe is: a) that the 'experts' know how the Earth's climate works and they can change it for the better; and b) that putting taxes on carbon dioxide and pouring the money raised into Gordon's Brown Hole in the economy will do anything at all for the planet.

climate change sloganWhat do you get when some genius starts mucking around with the weather?
If the geniuses are Chinese, you get a bunch of 'experts' trying to end a drought by making rain but giving Beijing its earliest dose of snow for 10 years by mistake and clogging up the airport.

climate change sloganUrgent Announcement
This month's scheduled international conference of Global Warming Swindlers has been postponed until at least April next year because of unusually heavy snow and severe ice across the whole of Scandinavia.

climate change sloganSomething the Global Warming Swindlers keep quiet about . . .
Melting ice at the Antarctic has created new areas of open sea the size of Wales around the continent over the last 50 years. But these areas have been colonized by carbon-absorbing blooms of phytoplankton, which sink to the sea bed when they die off and trap 3.5 million metric tons of carbon dioxide out of the atmosphere every year. You don't hear that inconvenient truth from the GW Swindlers!
   And this process is only is the second largest way that carbon dioxide is being removed from the atmosphere by natural processes. The largest is growth of new forest in regions of the Arctic which have become unfrozen. But the GW Swindlers would prefer you to look at pictures of pathetic polar bears stranded on little chunks of ice rather than Arctic forests.

The EU, better out than inOverpriced, overhyped, doesn't get the job done
The European Union wants everyone to use Compact Fluorescent Lamps instead of incandescent bulbs on bogus environmental grounds. But the problem with CFLs is they cost a bomb, they never last the claimed lifetime of thousands of hours, the manufacturers lie about their light output and they get dimmer with time. Which explains why that 100W equivalent CFL gives out the same amount of light as a 60W incandescent bulb. "Overpriced, overhyped, doesn't get the job done" – a lot like the EU, in fact.

climate change sloganGlobal Warming is getting so bad . . .
. . . that icebergs warnings are in force for shipping around Australia & New Zealand. Some of the bits are 500 feet long and they are getting so far north thanks to a combination of cold weather and favourable ocean currents.

climate change sloganGW Swindlers exposed?
Emails hacked from the Climate Change Research unit at the University of East Anglia suggest that there has been a sustained campaign over more than the last decade to spin data to support the "man-made global warming" swindle and dodge requests for access to the unfiddled data under the Freedom of Information Act. Which confirms that the mad-made global warming scam is nothing to do with science and all about reputation and money and maintaining the lifestyle of the swindlers and their influence over iggorant politicians.

ADVERTISEMENT

The Church of Man-Made Global Warming
Welcomes All Wallets

Please, please bring them loaded

Archbishop: the Rev. Al Gore
Chief Hypocrite: the Rev. T. B. Liar
Treasurer: Gordie 'The Mugger' Broon

Crime News
 CRIME NEWS 
ACPO at it again!

voyThe Association of Cheap Police officers has come up with a 2-volume, 96-page guide telling coppers how to ride a bike. But following a wave of derision, they have decided not to issue it. So all the money blown on the project has been wasted. But hey, it's only taxpayers' cash.

voyKillers seek censorship right
In 1990, two former business associates killed the German stage, TV and film actor Walter Sedlmayr. They were gaoled for life in 1993 and released in 2007 & 2008. They are now objecting to the existence of This Article in the online Wikipedia encyclopaedia, which names them. Their argument is that German privacy laws take precedence over US First Amendments rights for a website hosted in the United States, and people are no longer entitled to know that two scumbag killers are on the loose.

voyBusiness Black Spot or V. Putin does a G. Brown
Russia is right down in the depths alongside Zimbabwe in the World Index of Corrupt Regimes, and it has the world's most fraudulent economy.

voyAttention all serious criminals!
If you want to stage an easy gaol break, you are advised to get yourself moved to East Sutton Park open prison in Kent, as the inmates can just walk out and disappear whenever they feel like it. This was the experience of the convicted murderer Jane Andrews, who used to dress Princess Fergie.

voyCrime Issue Comment
"Does anyone really CARE if terrorist sociopaths and their pals are tortured? By their own choice, they put themselves beyond the protection of civilized societies and they are entitled to as much mercy as they show to their victims."
   Raffi Glidewell <glidewell@ptsolutions.biz>

 DEPARTURES 

  Edward Woodward, 79

He was a jobbing actor, who got so much TV work that his film career suffered. Edward Woodward's acting career began at RADA and his stage career with Shakespeare's plays. He was a hit in the British TV series Callan as a hit-man spook and he succeeded in the United States as The Equalizer, a retired spook who was a champion for the deserving oppressed, for which he won a Golden Globe. His most remembered films are the cult horror classic The Wicker Man (1979) and the Aussie Boer War drama Breaker Morant (1980). He also recorded a dozen albums of romantic music.

 DOSH NEWS 
  It's only Taxpayers' Cash

voyA. Darling, the current Chancellor, has a brilliant plan to create three new high street banks out of the ones currently deeply in hock to the taxpayer. But it will cost the British taxpayer another £40 BILLION. Which leaves the plan looking not so brilliant after all.

voyThe Price Became Right
Why did the mercenary S. Mann serve less than 2 years of a 34-year sentence for trying an armed takeover of Equatorial Guinea? Because it took 16 months to bargain the EG government down from a £270 million ransom to just £200K.

voyIt's only licence-payers' money
BBC staff who are forced to move Up North to the new media centre at Salford Quays will still be paid a London weighting on top of their salary.

voyA hand in the public purse up to his armpit
The boss of the BBC, M. Thompson, is unable to survive on his modest salary of £834K, and he has to resort to putting in claims for 70p for parking to make ends meet.

voyEven the watchdogs are bent
One of the MPs on the Commons Standards & Privileges Committee has been exposed as an expenses swindler. A. Dismore collected £34,000 for claiming his girlfriend's flat as a second home just a few miles away from his main home in North London. And 'flipping' the two properties put another £31,000 of taxpayers' cash into his pocket.

voyHow is this "free"?
You can get a "free" Daily Mail Xmas tree at B&Q, but the catch is that you have to spend £30 or more to get it. Which suggests that the Mail has adopted a decidedly New Labour approach to the free market.

voyBruised feelings? Can't allow that!
Apparently, the reason why the bankers in Britain who are paid more than £1 million/year weren't named & shamed is that Sir D. Walker, the bloke investigating the banking industry, was worried about upsetting them. He reckons that the millionaire bankers would be so embarrassed by being outed as greedy grabbers that they would feel obliged to leave the country and go into hiding abroad.

HEALTH NEWS

Miracle cure!!

voyCongrats to the Libyan NHS, which has turned A. M'Grahi, the convicted Lockerbie bomber, from a basket case, who was given 3 months to live in August, into a man well enough to leave hospital and return home to enjoy family life again.

voyStop posturing and get saving the planet, Brown

G. Brown is just making himself look pathetic by jogging to try to score points with the sceptical public and prove he's a super-fit superhero.
   BlackFlag News says: If he's really serious about getting fit, he should buy himself an exercise bike – using his own bloody money, not the taxpayer's – and hook it up to the National Grid.
   This will allow him to generate some electricity for the benefit of the nation while he's nit-picking and looking for more ways to swindle more BILLIONS out of everyone who isn't New Labour or one of New Labour's many cronies.

voyGood News For Boozers!!
Drinkers don't get heart attacks, according to the latest research. Men who drink up to 8 glasses of wine per day (four times the government's recommended daily dose) can reduce their risk of having a heart attack by up to 54%. Apparently, the alcohol prevents cholesterol from clogging up coronary arteries.

voyCheating can be bad for your health
This month, French footballer T. Henry joined D. Maradona on the Hall of Shame of scumbag foreigners, who have been allowed to get away with swindling national teams based in and near Britain. Maradona swindled England in 1986 with a notorious and deliberate hand-ball, which blind officials failed to spot, and became a drugged up wreck on cocaine. Henry stopped the Irish Republic from qualifying for next year's World Cup with another display of cynical cheating, and he could suffer the same fate.
 • FIFA has no intention of taking action against Henry for 'bringing the game into disrepute' as it was the French national side which benefitted from his cheating. So he will not be banned from appearing in the World Cup, fined 2 years's salary and informed that his life will be uninsurable if he ever sets foot in southern Ireland.
 • The English FA will not be taking action against Henry as payback against the Irish for being bribed by the EU into accepting its constitution.

Home News
 HOME NEWS 
UK FlagDave's getting there!

voyCall Me Dave, the Tories' leader, has made a start at proving he's the right person to succeed G. Broon as prime monster. Brown reneged on a promise to hold a referendum on the Lisbon treaty, and D. Cameron matched him this month. So he's added liar to his existing credentials as a global warming swindler. We can't wait for his next step in the right direction.

black squarevoy"The BBC could cut the licence fee in half if it got rid of the middle managers with non-jobs, the advisors, the perks & junkets which would never stand exposure to the light of day (but which aren't exposed because the BBC is allowed to keep its accounts secret) and the thick, thick layer of self-satisfied political correctness."
   Wagner Dustbin <hepatitisCsag@croire.com>

black squarevoy"Re: the Brown handwritten condolence letter fiasco – Could it be that his staff know he's on the way out and they don't CARE how big a chump our temporary prime monster looks with his inability to write and spell?"
   Jannette Gomez <sjinpvipo@forgiven-sinners.com>

black squarevoyObservation of the Month : "Now everything has become clear. It was Gordon Brown's handwriting that was the inspiration for that terrible 2012 Olympics logo!"

black squarevoy"Dave the Leader pretends to think that political correctness is 'insulting tosh'. So why did he eliminate all references to Xmas from the official Tory party Season's Greetings cards?"

voyFree-loading News
Lord Sleaze has been living it up at someone else's expense with the son of Pres Gadaffy of Libya, strengthening his ties with the people in charge of this allegedly former terrorist state's oil interests and building on the deal which gave the allegedly dying Lockerbie bomber his freedom. His sleazeship was at a peasant-shooting gathering, which also included the wife of the sacked prime monster T. Blair.

voyDistraction News
The out-going prime monster, G. Brown, has so little appetite for trying to fix some of New Labour's screw-ups that he is going to concentrate on messing about with the non-issue of the royal succession as a time-filler until the next general election.

Romiley News
ROMILEY NEWS
Technology marches on

Romiley Junction has now caught up with Marple. The station has just acquired a new electronic platform sign to tell the customers what time it is and how late their train is.

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space news
 SPACE NEWS 
Earth not destroyed by asteroid

CrunchThe rogue rock missed our sitting duck of a planet by only 8,700 miles on Friday 6th November, and it was spotted only 15 hours before its close approach, which didn't give the astronomers much time to panic.
   Could life on Earth have been wiped out? Well, actually, no. The rock was only 23 feet in diameter and it would have burnt up in the atmosphere had it come any closer.

MoonSome water on the Moon
NASA's LCROSS experiment might have been a total flop as a TV spectacle, as the lead probe failed to throw up the promised 6-mile high plume of bright dust from Cabeus crater, but their instruments did detect 'significant' amounts of water – around 100 kg in the area of their 20 metre impact crater and an ejecta blanket some 60-80 metres across. So that was $79 million well spent.

police car
 TRAVEL NEWS 
It's just another scam, folks

voyAttention all airline customers who are now paying a higher rate of Air Passenger Duty. A. Darling, the current Chancellor has admitted that the money will be going to bail out the banks. None of it will be spent on saving the planet, which is what Darling told the nation when he announced the Stealth Tax rise.

voyGood News!
Ben Elton, a class war comedian who became totally tedious about 20-odd years ago, is going to Australia for good.
Horrible Thought : What if the Aussie's won't let him stay?

Yves RossyNice try but no cigar!
Q: What do you get if you cross the Strait of Gibraltar with Yves "Rocketman" Rossy? A: Half way.
   The man who conquered the English Channel in September 2008 didn't do so well this month, when he tried to fly from Morocco to Spain. These particular 23 miles were a bit too much for him, but the Swiss aviator hopes to have another shot at the first ever intercontinental flight with a jetpack next year when he has dried out his equipment. His wing became unstable due to turbulence when he tried to fly through a bank of clouds, and he had to parachute into the sea about 4 minutes into his journey.

WAR NEWS
Inspiration Available

voyNew Labour is now plotting to recreate the Afghan election experience in Britain next year. Sitting Afghan President Khami Kharzi made it so obvious to the opposition that he would, and could, use vast amounts of British taxpayers' cash to cheat his way to 'victory' that they just gave up and let him retain the job unopposed when a second round of voting was needed.
   New Labour knows that this in the only way they'll get Gordon Brown past the next general election as prime monster, and they do have access to the taxpayers' pocket.

green swastikaFanatics' Licence
Mr. Justice Burton's ruling that an obsession with man-made global warming amounts to a religion has legitimized murder. All a killer has to do is argue that the victim was a danger to the planet and offended the killer's green quasi-religious prejudices, and everything is okay and the killer can walk.
   Likely targets for green murders include anyone working at a power station or in the motor vehicle & airline industries, anyone connected with travel and transport in any way, anyone who travels by road, rail or airline, and anyone who thinks that global warming swindlers are liars and hypocrites.
   And once some dotty judge grants the green jihadists the right to possess nuclear weapons, no one will be safe!

voyWarning! Brown Reality
Good News – having British troops in Afghanistan stops the Taliban inviting Al Kaida to set up holiday camps there.
Bad News – The Taliban can invite the bad guys to stay at their delightful holiday camps in neighbouring Pakistan, which offer convenient access to an open border.

voyA statement of protocol
When he dons the hat which turns him into the Monster for Propaganda & Popular Enlightenment, Lord Sleaze is to be addressed as Lord Goebbels.

voyAnother day, another dotty old judge
A bloke who believes that the police should hire mediums to contact the dead in criminal investigations was let go during training to become a special constable. So the judge at his employment appeal tribunal in Manchester ruled that his delusion amounts to a religion and he was sacked unfairly. "You couldn't make it up!"

voyBlair's lies exposed
The Sunday Telegraph has exposed the reason why the 2003 war in Iraq was such a shambles. Blair had to keep it top secret because if the British people had found out that he was planning an invasion, he would have lost all support and his job.
   Keeping the whole deal top secret meant that the people who should have been involved with planning a war weren't, the necessary equipment needed by the troops wasn't bought and the troops weren't trained and issued with insufficient and inadequate kit. And there was no post-victory plan.

world news
 WORLD NEWS 
Flood warnings for Scotland

voyThe Scottish government had a busy time issuing flood warnings at the beginning of the month. Three-quarters of the month's average rainfall landed on the Aberdeen area in a single day, leading to an energetic night for the flood rescue services. Wales and the north-east of England also suffered. Local councils in the affected areas are now preparing claims for additional funding from central government as special victims of localized "climate change for the worse".

voyA reputation built on enemies
The Conservative party is doing a great job. How do we know? Because those arch euroscroungers the French are bitching and trashing the Tories reputation to the max. So they must be doing something right!

voyYes, the universe really is out to get us!
The people who believe that ripples from the future are changing events right now got a bit of encouragement early in the month. A bird dropped bits of a French loaf onto the power supply to the CERN experiment and put the Large Hadron Collider out of action again. Some people think this gadget, which took 20 years to build at a cost of $5 BILLION, will produce mini-black holes, which will swallow the Earth. They also believe that the future is trying to protect itself from this man-made disaster by disrupting the past. Which could well explain why the LHC hasn't worked since it was tried out, briefly, in September last year.

This Month's Garbage

The Garbage Harridan Harperson's attempts to make sure that MPs can continue to rip off the taxpayer with their expenses in the hope it makes her popular enough to be the next Labour party leader.

G. Brown's congratulations for Pres. Kharzi for winning a rigged election in Afghanistan.

The ruling by employment tribunal judge Sir M. Burton that an obsession, such as one about global warming, counts as a religion.

Ann Ainsworth of Derbyshire county council, who banned collection boxes for the Royal British Legion poppy appeal from the county's libraries.

Non-Fire Night – the 'elf & safety Nazis won't allow a bonfire but they're willing to let the customer set their fireworks off, with appropriate supervision, near a big screen with pictures of a good blaze on it.

T. Nicholson, who thinks his personal prejudices about global warming entitle him to special treatment.

Home Sec. A. Johnson reckons that the Ministry of Defence has to pay bonuses to Whitehall pen-pushers because desk jobs can be 'difficult and dangerous'.

Call Me Dave Cameron's noises about putting politics back into the hands of local people, where they belong (as opposed to Dave's Diktats and parliamentary candidate lists from Tory Central Office).

The Indonesian propaganda minister, who thinks earthquakes are caused by TV broadcasts which erode public morals.

The bin is still ready & Mandelson

 
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