Black Flag News
 
 2009/July 
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No. 10 Certificate of EndorsementEvery edition of BFN is compiled
in accordance with official 10 Downing Street guidelines on accuracy and veracity.

Romiley News
ROMILEY NEWS
Credibility gap?

Everyone knows that New Labor made such a bog of the contracts for NHS dentists that they are a vanishing breed and people have to queue round the block to sign up with one. So why is Mac Dental of Macclesfield touting for business in Romiley with fliers? Does it mean that the problem has been solved miraculously and NHS dentists are so abundant that they are short of customers? Or is it just a sign that the good people of Macclesfield are so rich that they can afford to go private and let any NHS dentists in the area starve if they can't sign up paupers from Romiley?

Black squareThe Indian bandits are still at it
Romiley residents have been receiving further calls from the Indians, who are pretending to be delivering technical support on behalf of MicroSoft. According to the script, computers in Romiley are complaining to MicroSoft that they are full of malicious programs and that's why they are running slowly, even though their users haven't noticed any problems. But a solution is available – let the Indian gentleman connect the allegedly ailing PC to a website loaded with malware.

Black squareRomiley Record
Romiley's oldest resident celebrated her 91st birthday this month. Many happy returns, Ma'am!

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 CLIMATE NEWS 
  Tell 'em any story; some mug's bound to believe it!

climate change sloganThe next Big Thing in defence tactics for criminal cases is to claim that the perps were trying to save the planet. It started in a small way with Global Warming swindlers trying to make out that having pictures of flooded towns justified their efforts to disrupt the operation of power stations and the electricity supply. The next level is bound to be bank robbers claiming they were just after cash to give to Third World dictators who are claiming climate change poverty.

climate change sloganThe methodology sucks, but it 'proves' the desired point
The accuracy of the models used to 'prove' that there is a global warming catastrophe in the offing is a constant source of embarrassment to the Global Warming Swindlers. The big problem is that climate conditions change chaotically, and the current models are unable to handle conditions of 'forcing' and 'feedback' which do not remain constant.
   In its latest Assessment Report (No. 4), the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change created an average of results from the available models, taking no account of the accuracy of the models and ignoring that fact that different models contain the same errors and there is no guarantee that the errors will be cancelled out.
   So when the IPCC publishes predictions for 20, 50 or 100 years ahead, it is offering guesses based on predictions from a group of climate models, many of which will be giving wrong results. And if the IPCC has no way of telling which results are wrong ones, its predictions become meaningless.

climate change sloganThe swindle is running out of steam
1. If global temperatures are dropping but the level of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere isn't, how can CO2 be blamed for rising temperatures? Clearly, other factors are involved.

2. If CO2 caused the late 20th century global temperature rise, what caused the much bigger rises in the past, such as the Mediaeval warming period (see graph above), and why did global temperatures DROP after World War II when use of fossil fuels boomed?

3. Official climate models don't work for very long (see the above item) or the results are deliberately rigged to produce a desired outcome (see the 'Hockey Stick' graph above). So why should we believe governments which demand carbon taxes and sustainable energy taxes because, the lying bastards claim, these taxes will save the planet?

climate change sloganSwindled if you do, swindled if you don't
The government reckons that people who make home improvements, like installing double glazing, should pay more Council Tax on the grounds that they are rich bastards. The government also reckons that people who don't make these improvements are energy-guzzlers, who ought to pay more Council Tax, stamp duty and inheritance tax because they're killing the planet.
 • The government also has another swindle in the pipeline for the current "don'ts" – offering them loans to pay for double glazing, insulation, etc. with a false promise that the money they save on their energy bills will more than cover the repayments.

climate change sloganCould work!
The people of Cornwall have come up with an interesting slant on climate change. Their average temperature is more than 2 deg.C higher that the average in the north-east of England, which proves that Cornwall is already a victim of Global Warming. So the inmates of Cornwall reckon that they should be exempt from taxes which, the government claims, will prevent global warming.

STATEMENT OF FACTS
 Our Ecology Correspondent would like to stress the following: 

Fact: There was a warm period 55 million years ago.
Fact: Current climate models can't account for the amount of warming that occurred during the Palaeocene-Eocene thermal maximum by blaming carbon dioxide in the atmosphere.
Fact: The atmospheric carbon dioxide level rises after the Earth starts warming.
Fact: Carbon dioxide is a trace gas in the atmosphere and makes an insignificant contribution to global warming compared to water in the atmosphere.
Fact: Nature dumps vastly more carbon dioxide into the atmosphere than humans.
Fact: Cutting human carbon dioxide emissions by 100% would have absolutely no effect on the Earth's climate.
Fact: Carbon taxes are a swindle.

Some people find it baffling that the German nation fell for the Nazi message so easily in the 1930s. 70 years on, the Global Warming Swindlers are pulling the same scare-story con-trick. Help to save the planet from the swindlers before it's too late!

Crime News
 CRIME NEWS 
An end to New Labour coppering?

voyA pensioner clobbered a burglar who came at him in his own home with a knife and the pensioner wasn't arrested by his local plod!!! Even more amazing, the burglar was sent down for 4½ years and his victim didn't even get a caution! Is this the first sign of the death of the New Labour Punish the Victim culture? Let us hope so.

voyThe police are innocent, OK!
The police have come up with an ingenious get-out to the awkward question of who was photographed clobbering newspaper-seller Ian Tomlinson at the April G20 demo about 20 minutes before he died. It wasn't a copper, apparently, it was a member of the public dressed up in a police uniform, who was going round hitting people like the real coppers. Case solved!

voyAn immoral compass?
The Norfolk police are providing compasses for criminal suspects of the Moslem persuasion so that they can point themselves in the right direction to pray for a miracle to deliver them from justice.

voyAn immoral compass Part II
It doesn't matter if Justice Minister J. Straw has done the right thing for the wrong reason. The important thing is that Great Train Robber R. Biggs deserves to croak in gaol and if Straw denied him parole for the headline, we can live with that. All we have to worry about now is some muddle-headed appeal judge continuing Labour's policy of being soft on criminals.
p.s. A decade of New Labour's policy of being soft on crime has made Britain the most violent country in Europe.

voyTaking advantage in a serious way
Organized crime, as opposed to the disorganized sort offered by the nation's politicians and their buddies, is taking over recycling in Britain; particularly in the electrical and electronic sector. Material which should be recycled in Britain, according to EU rules, is being set to Africa where 'elf & safety is an unknown concept. But with a little creative paperwork and some massaging of official bodies eager to meet their EU targets, the bad guys are prospering and making Britain appear green when it's a muddy shade of brown.

voyAnother New Labour bright idea
The bosses of the Metropolitan police have banned the yellow signs posted at crime scenes to appeal for witnesses. Apparently, the government thinks they increase 'fear of crime' and no one will be bothered by crime if the police don't keep reminding people that crime happens by doing investigations.

ADVERTISEMENT

Stealth Taxes

Romiley Coin Shop has EIGHT dateless 2009 20p coins to sell. We note that one was sold on eBay this month for £7,100, so offers will have to be in this region.

8 ONLY! A one-time opportunity!

Apply to Romiley Coin Shop, 22 Riverside Drive

 • NOTES • The coins are not "Sexton Blakes" made by grinding down the heads side of a 2009 coin and the tails side of a 2008 (or earlier) coin, and joining them invisibly.
Attention Burglars! The coins are NOT held on the premises.
Attention Customers! Don't be taken in by the Royal Mint's fifty quid per coin offer.

 DEPARTURES 

  Mollie Sugden

The actress who played Mrs Slocombe in long-running BBC sitcom Are You Being Served? has died at 86. She served a long apprenticeship in repertory theatre before achieving TV success in the comedy series Hugh and I (a vehicle for Terry Scott and Hugh Lloyd) and as a gossipy character in the soap Coronation Street.
   She developed her snobbish character in The Liver Birds as the 1960s became the 1970s and honed it to perfection as Mrs. Slocombe in Are You Being Served? (1972-1985). Her other screen credits include a role in Come Back Mrs Noah, which is regarded as one of the worst sitcoms ever made, and the consumer programme That's Life. In the early 1990s, Mollie Sugden and co-star John Inman acquired cult status in the United States from reruns of their adventures at Grace Brothers.

 DEPARTURES 

  Karl Malden

An American actor whose career lasted over 60 years has died at the amazing age of 97. Mr. Malden's stage career was interrupted by World War II. A new film career blossomed in the 1950s and 1960s in supporting roles, including an Oscar-winning part in A Streetcar Named Desire (1951); his well-broken schnozzle (a legacy of high school American crunch) ruled out being the leading man. He became a presence in British living rooms via his leading part in the TV cop show The Streets of San Francisco, which also brought Michael Douglas to our attention during the 5-season run in the 1970s. This self-confessed workaholic continued working in films and TV until 2000, and served 3 terms as a full-time president of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.

 DEPARTURES 

  Robert McNamara

The man who started the Vietnam war in 1961, and gave film-makers all sorts of opportunities for making masterpieces (or boring the pants of the customers if their name is Stone), has died at 93. 'Mac the Knife' was hated by all student radicals in the United States. In 1967, he told President Johnson that the war was unwinnable. His reward was the sack, a Presidential Medal of Freedom and the presidency of the World Bank.
   His misgivings never leaked into the public domain and thousands of Americans, and over one million Vietnamese, were killed before the US got the hell out of Vietnam in 1975. He was seen as bright, a wizard at management, cold and arrogant, and he presented his reluctance to criticize a serving president as the reason for his failure to speak out against unwinnable wars. He applied the same doctrine to the Bush/Blair war with Iraq.

 DEPARTURES 

  Steve 'Air' McNair

This former star of the National Football League has been done to death at 36. The high point of his distinguished American crunch career was quarterbacking the Tennessee Titans in Super Bowl 34, when they came up just one yard short of forcing a draw with the St. Louis Rams and sending the match into extra time. Although married with 4 children, Mr. McNair developed a relationship with a 20-year-old waitress, who became overwhelmed by jealousy and money problems. Murder/suicide seems to have been the consequence.

 DEPARTURES 

  Sir Bobby Robson

A footballer who became one of the English national side's more successful managers had died at 76. The son of a passionate Newcastle United supporter, Bobby Robson played for Fulham and West Brom, and he was picked for England 20 times. He scored his first successes as a manager with Ipswich Town, and took his team to wins in the FA cup in 1978 and the UEFA Cup in 1981.
   He was the manager of an England team which failed in the World Cup through blatant cheating by their opponents, which was not spotted by any of the 3 officials on the pitch, and his players' inability to score from the penalty spot. He enjoyed the support of his players but not, eventually, of the British meeja. Bobby Robson enjoyed great success as manager of European teams; PSV Eindhoven and Barcelona; and had a last hurrah on this side of the Channel at with Newcastle United. He received a knighthood for services to football in 2002.

 DOSH NEWS 
  Keep talking, someone might believe some of it!

50p coinBrown Economics 101 "There will be a growth in spending on public services year on year, and the fact that it will be ZERO-RATE growth for the foreseeable future in no way invalidates my claim."

voyGovernment swindle aimed at pensioners
Yvette Cooper, the current head of the Dept. of Work & Pensions, is running a scam against pensioners who missed making National Insurance contributions. The pensioners are being told, on the front page of a bulky document, that if they pay hundreds of pounds (or over £1,000 in some cases), they will receive an increased pension.
   Buried deeply in the document is the revelation that the pension rise will be just a few pence per week and could take a couple of centuries before the pensioner gets his/her money back. How very New Labour.

e.onMassive fines for swindlers
The German energy company e.on and the French outfit GDF Suez have each been fined half a billion euros by the European Commission for stitching up the customers with an illegal 'no competition' deal. Which means that customers in Britain will now be facing even higher bills to maintain e.on's profits. Thank you very much for looking after our interests, European Commission.
updatee.on has been caught cheating with its advertising for a proposed wind farm at West Ancroft near Berwick upon Tweed. The firm created a picture showing how well 377-foot turbines would blend into the landscape by pasting images of turbines half that size into a panoramic picture.

the muggerIt's obvious, when you think about it
The Court of Appeal has handed Northern Rock shareholders an interesting kick in the teeth. They complained that the government had deliberately undervalued the bank before nationalizing it.
   The CoA decided that the shareholders had made a commercial decision in hanging on to their shares and they should have realized that Gordon Brown would swindle them.

voyBright ideas from abroad
Corruption in Iraq is fast approaching the level reached in Britain under New Labor. This type of information is starting to come from computers in the Iraqi Ministry of Finance, which track revenue from oil sales and foreign aid. The Iraqi government has resorted to having foreign IT experts kidnapped and handed over to insurgent groups in an attempt to hide how much money is flowing into the pockets of corrupt politicians, officials and their pals.
 • The British government is believe to be exploring a similar scheme to conceal how much taxpayers' cash is vanishing into the pockets of New Labor's pals to reduce embarrassment in the run-up to the next general election.

My_Destiny by Douglas GraminMy_Destiny by Douglas Gramin

Written as an Internet serial, this eccentric and astonishing work continues to command the attention of the discerning reader. Or so the author reckons. My_Destiny has been hailed as a landmark in workplace survival tactics. Find out if YOU think you could survive "The Feck" with such grace & ingenuity!

   Read the Blurb on the Romiley Literary Circle website
   Read the Book on the life.etl website

Category : Workplace survival, contemporary

HEALTH NEWS

Disease of the Month

X-ray machineBrown Finger – the opposite of the Midas Touch

voyA sickness of the Body Politick
We are invited to believe that a member of the public stole a police uniform out of an unlocked and unattended police van, changed into the uniform, joined a gang of similarly uniformed men without identification badges, joined in the general clobbering of members of the public, clobbered newspaper-seller Ian Tomlinson (who died almost immediately) and wasn't spotted as an imposter.
   In the normal course of events, this story would have to be dismissed as ridiculous. But after 12 years of New Labour's perversion of justice and the guiding philosophy of the British police force, the scenario becomes plausible.

World wasp-eating championWorld wasp-eating champion retains title
Half of Yorkshire attended the World Wasp-Eating Championship, held in Hull this year, to watch the reigning champion retain his crown. As ever, the competition was fierce but the home town boy, nicknamed the Hull Hog-Mouth demolished wasps with a will and reduced the other contestants to amazed by-standers.
 • On a health note, it has been long believed in Yorkshire that wasp venom is an effective antidote to the adverse effects of obesity. This belief is backed up by the proven longevity of a number of Yorkshirepersons, who look like they go on the Wasp-Sandwich Diet regularly to allow them to eat their fill when off the diet.

Black squareIt's official! Drinking a third of a pint of milk a day will help you to live forever.

voyMore money on the way down New Labour's drain
The government is rubbing its collective hands over a World Health Organization declaration that sunbeds offer as big a cancer risk as cigarettes. Gordon Brown is reported to be wetting his pants in anticipation of sticking tobacco-level taxes to sunbed users.

voyThere's always a way!
Anyone worried about swine flu can stock up on the antiviral Tamiflu quite easily. Checks by the NHS on who gets it are so non-existent that scammers are loading up and flogging the stuff off at car boot sales.

voy"Independent" food watchdog with a government agenda
The Foods Standards Agency says there's no difference in nutritional value between organic foods and ordinary 'inorganic' foods. But what the agency has done is cherry-pick research by others (rather than doing its own research) to do down organic foods as part of the government's campaign to promote the genetically monstered crops created by its friends.
   How very New Labour.

Home News
 HOME NEWS 
UK FlagPull the other one, mate!

voyEDF, a French electricity company (Électricité de France), running a Green Britain Day? That has to have about as much credibility as Messerschmitt organizing a Spitfire fund!

voy"You've never had it so bad."
The Brown Slump is the worst since World War II – official. The decline in Britain's economy is far worse than Chancellor Darling's politically motivated underestimates and it delivers final proof that Gordon Brown's pledge to end Boom & Bust (Tory or Labour) was just hot air.

voyLabour Red – the colour of embarrassment
Weegie Mick, the disgraced former Commons Speaker, is to get his peerage in the back room where our prime monster signed the Lisbon Treaty out of the public gaze. A government spokesman confirmed that the Brown Suite is on permanent hire for all those events which would embarrass the government if held in public.

voyNice work if you can get it
Our readers will be relieved to hear that there can be no crises in the next 3 months – because that's how long Parliament will be on summer holiday.

voyNew Labor is the party of uselessness
The news that Arts funding has stopped because mismanagement of the Olympics has eaten up all the funding tends to prove a rule of thumb – useless Labour politicians attract useless pals like a magnet and give them major public projects to run because they can't get anyone competent.

voySkiving bastard!
Our part-time prime monster set off on his hols for 5 weeks this month, but to ensure that New Labor's policy of driving the country into the dust continues, he has established a rotating presidency for his absence – H. Harperson, Lord Sleaze, Jack Straw and Alastair Darling will all be able to pretend to be the boss for a while.

space news
 SPACE NEWS 
Rewriting history with hindsight

NeptuneThe existence of an eighth planet was predicted from its effect on the orbit of Uranus, and Neptune was located in 1846 by Johann Galle and Heinrich d'Arrest using calculations made by Joseph Le Verrier. Galileo also observed Neptune in 1613 when the planet was close to Jupiter, but cloudy skies prevented him from making enough observations to indicate that he had found a planet.
   But all is not lost. An Aussie professor is now doing his best to prove that Galileo claimed that he had found a new planet in coded messages sent to colleagues. So we can expect a rash of forged documents providing the desired confirmation to surface in the near future. And a film about a conspiracy by the Vatican to deprive Galileo of his discoverer's glory.

Daily Sketch, Moon LandingDump all the old souvenirs, new ones are on the way
Everyone who collected Lunabilia after the first ever Moon landing in 1969 is advised to toss the rotting objects in the trash. Every newspaper, and the usual souvenir suspects, is/are rushing out revamped Lunabilia 'updated and upgraded for the digital age'.
   NASA and digital TV channels have all sorts of previously lost or 'filed and forgotten' film to show us, and there are writers eager to remind us what human beings of the American persuasion can do when computers with less processing power than a microwave oven go on the blink as they're about to land on the Moon.

Blackout!!!
Bummer!
Those people who travelled to Penzance to view the 1999 total eclipse of the Sun will feel some sympathy for the people who travelled thousands of miles and paid a small fortune to get to China to see "The Eclipse of the Century", only to be defeated by storm clouds. Still, it was well covered on the Internet and by the usual suspects.

Another one in the eye for JupiterJupiter clobbered again
15 years after having seven bells knocked out of it by the disintegrated comet Shoemaker-Levy 9, the planet Jupiter has taken another kick south of the equator from a chunk of space debris. The new blemish was seen first by Anthony Wesley, an Aussie amateur astronomer. The remains of the impact zone in Jupiter's atmosphere are the size of the Pacific Ocean and the object is thought to have been a chunk of ice about half a mile in diameter.

voyMaking money with our cash
The Indian Space Research Organization, which is funded by the British taxpayer, has signed a deal with the United States to enter the non-commercial satellite launch sector. The ISRO is one of the few which can launch small satellites into low orbits and it plans to bid for satellite launches from France, Italy, Japan, the Netherlands, Germany, Singapore and Canada.The British taxpayer will not be benefitting from the deals.

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 TECHNICAL NOTES 
  Odd things, computers

A correspondent writes:
I noticed that my computer was rebooting mysteriously while left unattended during the afternoon. As I am scrupulous about pressing control-s to save things, nothing was ever lost, but WordPerfect got the hump to the extent that I had to uninstall it completely (the repair option didn't work) and reinstall it.
   After a couple of unauthorized reboots, I recalled that tower PCs suffer from a problem which never seems to affect desktops – the power cable needs pushing in to the socket every so often because the weight of it can drag it out of the socket. It's a design fault which desktop owners need to be aware of. No reboots since the therapeutic shove.

voyHow safe is Cloud Cuckoo Land?
The Kindle experience offers a reminder of how letting other people look after your data is a bad idea. People paid Amazon good money for copies of electronic books, which were left stored in Amazon's on-line library. But when Amazon found that it didn't have the right to sell electronic copies of George Orwell's books, it deleted them without consulting the purchaser – along with any notes which the purchaser had stored with the books.
   Google pulled a similar stunt a couple of years ago when it cut off access to films, which customers had bought and left stored on-line and Yahoo! has caused endless panic with a decision to close down the popular geocities website host. So the only sound strategy for electronic data would seem to be to download everything and store it, properly backed up, somewhere where the seller can't get at it!

Line speed 2011The great broadband swindle?
Broadband providers tell their customer they will get "up to" some fancy figure and deliver just a fraction of it – one-half of the advertised rate, or even slower, in practice. Romiley is one of the areas cabled up by Nynex in the late 1990s, and Virgin Media now have control of the cable network. The graphic shows the result of a test of their bog standard 'up to 2 megabits/second' deal.

Black squareJust so you know :
The term "black" is now banned and "epidermally challenged" must be used in future.

Black squareText For The Day :
F U CN UNDRSTD THIS GD LK

travel
TRAVEL NEWS
Brown believer burnt (severely)

voyThe collapse of the National Express franchise running the East Coast Main Line trains is all down to Gordon Brown, the former chief executive of NE reckons. Richard Bowker made the mistake of believing the Brown claim that he had ended boom 'n' bust, Bowker build his business platform on growth predictions for passenger numbers which relied on the claim, and everything fell apart.

voyFun for some!
Some visitors to the Everglades in Florida go in search of Xtreme wildlife contests – one of the growing number of escaped or dumped, former pet Burmese pythons taking on a native alligator. The snakes can reach 30 feet in length and they are binge eaters, which can bulk up to 30 stones. Plenty of them are big enough to think they can take on an alligator, and there's at least one case on record of a snake which won its battle with an alligator but burst after it had swallowed its lunch.

voySwindler exposed
A Spanish junket by Germany's health minister has brought embarrassment to her and her government. She took her official armoured limo, along with the chauffeur, on her holiday, and the car was stolen!

voyHow to spend other people's cash
Not only is the Indian government funding a space programme out of the cash which Gordon F. Brown handed over last year in an attempt to buy friends, the Indians are also hoping to create a fleet of nuclear submarines courtesy of the British taxpayer. The first of the line, INS Arihant, was launched this month. The sub will be armed with torpedoes and ballistic missiles when its trials are completed. Four more nuclear subs are planned.

WAR NEWS
Yawn!

Somehow, we find it very difficult to become upset by claims from terrorists, i.e. unreliable witnesses, that they were tortured in Pakistan and elsewhere abroad with the connivance of the British police and security services. So we're quite prepared to let the denials of the British government, more unreliable witnesses, create a one-all score draw.

voyA two-pronged demonstration of intent
As well as firing off missiles to celebrate US Independence Day, the North Koreans also launched cyber attacks on government and commercial websites in the United States and South Korea. That's in addition to the routine attacks from China, so the Internet's infrastructure took a bit of a battering on the 4th of July.

voyEducation, Schmeducation
The news that a teacher has been charged with the attempted murder of one of his pupils provokes a perverse reaction – not surprise and shock that it happened, rather surprise that it doesn't happen ever week in New Labour's Yob Culture Britain.

voyBrown 'right' is dead wrong
If Gordon Brown thinks his strategy for Afghanistan is 'right', then the troops on the ground are in a whole lot of trouble. But we knew that anyway.

voyBrown spots are for life
The New Labour Wimmin in the Cabinet are unhappy with G. Brown's style of management. The Blair Babes think he should listen to other people occasionally and stop sleazing people behind their backs. Like that's going to happen!

voyBlair to use "Gerrard Defence" at war crimes trial?
If A gets into an argument with B, and one of A's friends assaults B, and then A assaults B, A can get away with his assault because a jury will buy a plea of self defence on the grounds that A thought that B was going to hit him, even though it never happened.
   It worked for the captain of Liverpool FC and T. Blair's advisors reckon that if he presents himself as A and Saddam Hussein as B, he'll get away with starting an illegal war against Iraq in 2003.

voyDeath by politics
The Iranian government is using biological warfare on its dissenters. Anyone who doesn't agree with the regime is locked up in filthy conditions and presented with the opportunity to die of Jail Fever like other inconvenient persons in the past – including, it has been suggested, the Princes in the Tower.

world news
 WORLD NEWS 
Old Idea Recycled in the Land of the Free

voyM. Jackson's creditors are so desperate for cash that they are planning to do a Lenin with him – they're going to put his corpse on show at his much-mortgaged Neverland ranch for the curious to gawp at.

voyHalf a Heil, then?
To the German newspapers who are moaning at Formula One honcho Bernie Ecclestone for saying Adolf Hitler wasn't totally rotten, let us just mention that it was you Germans who voted Herr Hitler into office, and you Germans who put his face on your stamps, not us.

voyIgor Blimey!
The news that M. Jackson's funeral can't go ahead until the authorities return the brain, which the pathologist removed during the autopsy, raises interesting possibilities. What if some hunchback assistant nicks it and delivers it to a modern-day descendant of Baron Frankenstein? And he creates a moon-walking monster? Quick, get Hollywood on the line. BlackFlag News has a great idea for a horror musical.
   p.s. Why is it we get the feeling that the boss of the L.A. police, who seems to be trying desperately to turn M. Jackson's death into a murder case, is thinking more about the personal publicity than truth, justice and the American way of life?

voyDon't sabotage the spooks
Why should anyone imagine that ex-US vice president Dick Cheney should be 'investigated' for hiding a secret CIA anti-terror unit from Congress? It goes on all the time – the digital TV channels are full of documentaries about covert, 'off the books' units; Knight Rider on the Sci-Fi channel to name but one. And even the A Team did a spell of this sort of duty. And the sooner the new wimp in charge of the CIA gets this, the better.

This Month's Garbage

The Garbage Dave the Leader's self-serving, bogus apology for Mrs. Thatcher's ban on Labour councils promoting homophilia in schools.

The female copper who 'arrested' a scarecrow in a reflective jacket and police-style hat for holding a dummy radar speed-trap gun made out of old plastic bottles while advertising the annual Scarecrow Festival @ Brancaster in Norfolk.
updateThe 'arrest' could have been inspired by Norfolk's chief constable, who gets a 'thinking out of the box' bonus of £70K on top of his annual salary of £125K for inventing new bogus reasons for attesting people (and inanimate objects, too, apparently).

Police forces which, wrongly, refuse to name criminal fugitives on spurious data protection grounds.

Sacking Lisa Greenwood from the civil service (when a ticking off would have been sufficient) for daring to call Hazel Blears a thief and a liar, coupled with the lying jobsworths who claim civil servants have to be politically impartial when 13 years of New Labour has made that concept obsolete for any civil servants who expect to rise up the career ladder.

The "Unisex Ambulant Facility", which is Tewkesbury borough council's silly name for a public lavatory.

Lord Ffoulkes, the Labour stooge sent by Gordon Brown to smear General Dannatt after he dared to expose Brown's failure to give the troops in Afghanistan proper support.

The French Foreign Legion, which set fire to the outskirts of Marseilles by firing tracer rounds into bone-dry woodland during an exercise (in direct contravention of standing orders).

Neil Williams, one of Lord Sleaze's gnomes, who wasted his overpaid time, and taxpayers' cash, on creating a 20-page manual on how to do 140-word Twits.

The scumbag bosses at Scotland Yard, who put a ban on members of the Met wearing 'Support The British Troops' charity badges because someone is supposed to have complained about British coppers wearing a badge showing the Union flag.

Is criminal stupidity a sacking offence? Apparently not
BlackFlag News would like to point out that if we appear to have a strongly anti-police tone at times, it's only because we're reporting the boneheadedness of coppers in the New Labour era, and if they were to develop a bit of common sense, they wouldn't be mentioned at all. [Except when deserving of praise or a good kicking. Ed.]

 
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