"The reason why Gordon Brown wants the Iraq war inquiry kept secret is obvious. He doesn't want his part in launching an illegal foreign war on a lie exposed to the light of day."
"The sacking of Kitty Ussher as an expenses swindler does nothing to improve Gordon Brown's standing. He obviously appointed her as a minister without following any sort of vetting procedure to make sure she was honest or competent. Which is unforgivable in the present climate of endemic Parliamentary sleaze."
"When the dustmen refuse to empty someone's bin on totally bogus grounds, the abused householder should issue a Failure to Deliver Contracted Services Notice to the council concerned and withhold a penalty of £1 from their next Council Tax payment."
"Where is this 'Tony B. Liar knew about a secret torture police for terrorists' story going? Is the government softening us up for an eventual announcement that Mr. Liar personally took part in torture and killed people?"
"So the Brown Broadcasting Company reckons that having the latest Brown advisor, Sir A. Sugar, doing one of its shows won't compromise the BBC's impartiality? Wot bloody impartiality?"
"Those suspected Romanian pick-pockets and shoplifters who were 'chastised' in Ulster they were lucky Martin McGuinness and the IRA weren't on the job otherwise the lot of them would have ended up with their kneecaps blown off."
"Another bunch of jobsworths in line for the sack for abuse of office are the NHS Primary Care Commission. They only ordered hospitals to give priority to gypsies, which amounts to a clear breach of the 'uman rights of everyone who isn't a gypsy and not entitled to jump the queue."
"80-year weather forecasts? If they can't do more than 3 days ahead with any accuracy, what is an 80-year forecast worth? Except as a means of letting the Global Warming Swindlers focus on the 10% chance that something bad will happen while ignoring the 90% virtual certainty that we'll be all right. OK odds, when you think about it."
"British MPs don't do things by halves. They're not just dishonest, they're thoroughly dishonest!"
"So the Brown Police think it's okay to arrest people with violence when they ask them why they're not wearing identification badges? How long will it be before they're issued with brown shirts and renamed Sturm Abteilungen?"
"If you ever wanted final proof that Labour is unfit for office, they've just given it to us Squeaker Bercow."
"How can the new Mr. Squeaker cut a commanding figure if he has to perch on a throne with his little legs dangling into space? Not fair."
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
The latest demand from the Brown Grabber is a £6/year Broadband Tax on every home and business landline telephone in the country. The cash is allegedly to be spent on extending the broadband network but, in reality, it will just disappear down the huge Brown Hole in the economy along with all previous Stealth Taxes.
The "Global Humanitarian Forum" (Give Us Cash) claims that global warming is already killing 300,000 people per year a claim which the GHF's sponsor, ex-UN Gen. Sec. Kofi Annan, admits was made without a shred of hard evidence to back it up.
It's a funny old world
The Gods in grotting action again?
Another politician-made catastrophe brewing
It's still all about the money
False hope from a notorious swindler
The polar bears are OK!
In a burst of pluralism, BFN would like to make a joint award to the entire Strathclyde police force, members of which issued a £50 fixed penalty fine to a disabled man who dropped a £10 note in Ayr. BFN would also recommend that Council Taxpayers in the Strathclyde area withhold their police precept until EVERY member of the local force can prove that they have been on a course AT THEIR OWN EXPENSE to teach them the difference between litter and lost property. BFN would also recommend that the Chief Constable, Stephen House, be sacked immediately for letting his command degenerate into such a disgraceful condition.
BFN would like to expand this month's award . . .
"A gang of Indians with thick accents is phoning people and telling them that their PC is 'running slow' because they've downloaded malicious files from the Internet.
More Brown Hot Air
Not only has the Brown Slump given Britain a soaring burglary rate, it has also created a new wave of false burglary reports. Inspired by the amount of swindling going on at the Palace of Westminster, the people are cutting out the middle man and inventing crimes to make false insurance claims like there's no tomorrow.
The worst excuse for scrounging on expenses
More from Labour's dirty tricks department
New Labour's Legacy
Our Crime Correspondent writes:
An odd version of Transparency
How much credibility does that bring!
Bent, or what!
Bent, or what! Part 2
New Labour target swindlers profit
150 Years In Gaol for the Mad Dog
The actor who went from rags to riches as a 'comic in a frock' and back to rags again has died at 81. His initial go at playing a drag queen flopped but he persisted, and with the right management, he made the big time. Only to lose everything to crooked advisors in the 1980s. He couldn't make it as a straight actor but his 60 years of acting in a frock included 3 Royal Variety performances, over 50 pantomimes and 7 major West End shows.
The star of the iconic 1970s show Kung Fu has been found dead in the wardrobe of a Bangkok hotel room at 72. A member of a family of actors, he spent 3 years on TV playing a Shaolin monk and kung fu expert, who wandered through the Wild West of America offering his wisdom and lumps to bad guys. A long string of B-movies followed but he hit the top again in the role of the eponymous hit-man in the Quentin Tarantino film Kill Bill (2003). His demise has overtones of the death from boredom of George Sanders, who checked in to an hotel near Barcelona and checked out of life at 65.
The threat of a mass walk-out by most of the teams, and a rival series in 2010 [wasn't never going to happen!] has seen off the billionaire with an eccentric private life. He won't be standing for re-election in October. Mr. Mosley is credited with putting in place a lot of F1's life-saving safety arrangements, and he warned that if the teams got rid of him, they'd get someone worse, but everyone else felt that they had had enough of him after 18 years and he was getting too autocratic.
The Peter Pan of the pop industry has made the ultimate career move at the ripe old age of 50. He achieved enormous success with shows and music sales, which allowed him to remake his face and enjoy what became known as his Wacko Jacko lifestyle. He spent all his money, and then some, and shuffled off this mortal coil on the eve of a punishing tour aimed at repairing a mountain of debt of truly Brownian proportions. Death means that he will never get older, he will have no more problems with repairing unravelling cosmetic surgery and the legal profession will be left to squabble over the bones of his legacy.
The actress who launched a poster with sales of 12 million had died at 62. She exploded onto TV screens in a flurry of teeth and blonde hair as one of Charlie's Angels and she was married to TV's Six Million Dollar Man for a while. The marriage then her career hit the buffers but she found a niche in Hollywood's made-for-TV film industry, specializing in battered women, and ended her career as the star of her own celeb cancer video diary.
Parachute For Sale by Henry T. Smith
After the Battle of Britain, a Hurricane pilot was banished to Bomber Command. He had to fly a Bristol Blenheim with a crew of misfits. Inevitably, they were shot down. The second time put them in Occupied France just before the German invasion of Russia and into extremely unlikely company!
Read the Blurb on the Romiley Literary Circle website
Category : World War II Speculative History
Shareholders, staff & customers of Boots the Chemists are advised to run for cover. A. Hornby, the blundering banker who drove HBoS into the dust [and helped to ruin Lloyds TSB when its boss did the prime monster a favour and took over HBoS] has been appointed the new boss of Boots. Now, how the hell did that happen!
Make the Punters Pay & Pay
Proof Positive that the PM doesn't listen
You Can't Say F*ck on Virgin
A bit more substantial than the princess's pea!
Flash: The BBC Has Lots Of Cash!!!
Famous death? Must be murder!
Before the voting started for the Iranian presidential election, they were saying that Pres. Dinnerjacket wouldn't be re-elected if he didn't rig the vote. He was re-elected by a landslide. 'Nuff said! Apart from the observation that we expect a rush of applications for visas to Iran from the New Labour election apparatchiks.
An Iran-watcher writes:
Don't Vote, It Only Encourages Them, or Some Choice!
A reader writes:
British National Party [Don't Mention the Garden Party]
Business as usual with the new Speaker?
Mars UK is swindling its customers, but what's new about that? most people ask. Its Mars bars are being made smaller but the price remains the same. Mars has come up with some PR bullshit about saving the nation from obesity, but let's be straight about it. This is Mars screwing the customers to bump up profits, aware of what it's doing and doing it just the same.
Madness in their Method?
"Half GPs will women in 4 years" said the headline in the Daily Mail. Which conjures up a vision of Harridan Harperson blowing even more taxpayers' cash on a pointless campaign of sex changes just to fulfil another pointless Labour party target.
Disease of the Month
Phrase of the Month
Word of the Month
Back in 1978, we had the economy in shreds thanks to D. Healey's mismanagement and 'Sunny' Jim Callaghan in 10 Downing Street as a replacement for the gimmicky, smart-alec H. Wilson, who had baled out a couple of years earlier. Substitute the all flash and no substance T. Blair for Wilson and G. Brown for Healey & Callaghan, and we're right back 30 years in the past. So no wonder members of the Brown Cabinet are jumping ship so energetically. The only pity is that 'Call Me Dave' Cameron is no Mrs. Thatcher.
What did you do in the war, Daddy?
Desperate measures for desperate times
Regards, A. Customer.
Is it true that people arrested for attempted suicide once faced the death penalty if convicted?
Stockport council has already outfitted us with a green wheely bin for garden offcuts, a black box for bottles & cans and a tough plastic bag for discarded newspapers. The next brilliant idea from the recycling department is to issue everyone with 2 more wheely bins; a BLUE one for newspapers, magazines, crardboard, phone books & drinks cartons, and a GORDON BROWN one for plastic bottles, food tins & drink cans, glass bottles & jars and aerosols.
Pointless harassment of customers in Romiley by Virgin Media
There's a force called "Orbital Chaos" at work in the Solar system and it makes the orbits of the inner planets unstable. Which means that Venus or Mars could bash into the Earth!! But the good news is that it's not likely to happen in the next 5 billion years, and then the Sun will expand into a red giant and swallow up the inner planets out to Mars, so we won't be bothered about collisions.
The Chinese government would like to point out that absolutely nothing happened in Peking's Tianenmen Square twenty years ago this month. In June 1989, there were no peaceful protests against a repressive regime, no trigger-happy troops of the People's Extermination Army, no people-crushing tanks, no massacres of thousands of people, no nothing. And would the rest of the world kindly stop going on about something that never happened.
The Germans made it to D Day + 65
Corruption of limited life?
Some Brownwash hosed off
The truth will out . . .
Prince Charles took it upon himself to step over the rotting corpse of our dithering prime monster to ensure that there was be a British presence at the D Day + 65 do. His decisive action frustrated the ambition of President Sarko to rewrite the history of the Normandy invasion as an affair involving only Yanks & Frogs.
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
New on the World Wide Web This brilliant resource which exposes Nigerian-type 419 scams, bogus lotteries & job offers, phishing attempts and much, much more!
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