Triv-Dem canvassers for the local election are getting a lot of stick on the doorstep about the state of Romiley's broken pavements. "More puddles than pavement when it rains," they are being told. "Romiley's pavements are not just neglected from year to year it's decade to decade!"
THE CARBON CONSCIENCE FUND
Feeling guilty about your part in destroying Planet Earth?
All credit/debit/store cards accepted Cheques welcome So is cash.
A team using the European Space Organization's 3.6-m telescope has discovered the first fairly Earth-like planet some 20 light years away. It hurtles round the red dwarf star Gliese 581 in just 13 days as it is 14 times closer to its star than the Earth is to the Sun. Luckily, Gliese 581 is smaller and much cooler than the Sun it has one-third of the Sun's mass and emits at least 50 times less radiation.
Dogs, which can get extremely depressed on their own, are being offered canine-formula Prozac in the hope that it will stop them barking aimlessly, ripping lumps off the furniture and ripping the paintwork on doors to shreds.
The EU Commission is to set up a special Europe-wide research team to look for evidence that a warmer climate affects the behaviour of police officers disproportionately.
Save the planet, cut your own throat!
EU hypocrisy condemned
Full details from Romiley Eco Park, 22 Riverside Drive All other types of fetishes catered for.
After releasing all sorts of horror stories about the disgusting state of the turkey farm in Suffolk where there was an outbreak of bird flu in February, the Food Standards Agency has gone all coy over prosecuting the Bernard Matthews organization. "There is insufficient evidence to guarantee a successful prosecution," a spokesman for the FSA announced with an air of embarrassment. Looks like the FSA spin-doctor got a bit over-excited!
A great business opportunity!
A step too far for men of conscience?
EU wimps out but victims battle on
"It is a proven clincal fact that a bald head is an excellent radiator and the perfect means of staying cool when the temperature soars."
Get yours done today!
Romiley Hair Removal Clinic, 22 Riverside Drive
The government of Indonesia is inviting companies from France, Japan and Russia to bid for a contract to build a nuclear reactor next to a dormant, but not extinct, volcano.
Everything will be okay. Not!
The creator of the mathematical computer programming language Fortran has died at 82. A long-term employee of IBM, he decided that there had to be an easier way of programming computers than using alphanumeric machine code. After working on the problem for 2 years, his team came up with a formula translation language, which allowed instructions to be written in English words and mathematical expressions, and translated into machine code, for a computer's benefit, via a compilation program.
An actor who was at home playing both coppers and villains has died at 82. He began his career in the theatre after the war, and played the first of his TV cops in the 1960s series Z Cars. He was one of the villains sent to get Michael Caine in the film Get Carter (1971). He branched out into science fiction, playing a colonel of SHADO in the series UFO, he worked as a guest in TV sitcoms and he is seen regularly on digital TV playing the long-suffering boss of Jasper Carrott and Robert Powell in The Detectives (1990).
One of the earliest children's television entertainers, and the ventriloquist who gave a voice to Lenny the Lion, has died at 80. He got the idea of using a talking lion as his puppet at the Tower Zoo in Blackpool, and the singer Anne Shelton is credited with suggesting that the initially fierce lion should be made bashful and even a little camp.
One of the pioneers of the medical technique MRI has died at 77. The phenomenon of nuclear magnetic resonance has been used as an analytical technique for organic compounds for over 50 years. Developments by Paul Lautenbur and Sir Peter Mansfield allowed the technique to be used for imaging the human body, especially soft tissue, without using X-rays. Their work was rewarded with a shared a Nobel Prize for Medicine in 2003.
A playwright and performer, who had an encyclopaedic knowledge of Hollywood films and the American theatre in his specialist period, had died at 77. His writing career began in the early 1950s, he wrote for Bernard Braden's radio show then for David Frost and Ned Sherrin's TV shows. He also supplied gags to a wide range of comedians, including Bob Hope and Tommy Cooper.
Russia's first democratically elected president, and an heroic friend of the alcohol industry, has died at 76. He had no qualms about sending tanks out against Communists who tried to reverse reforms. His term of office saw mass privatization, which handed vast amounts of loot to the beneficiaries, vote-rigging on an industrial scale, the creation of a private business sector, the collapse of authority and the system for paying the police and other public servants and a flowering of organized crime.
Another star of England's 1966 World Cup winners has died at 61. Alan Ball was a regular goal-scorer for Blackpool before being transferred for a record fee (just about a week's wages for some of today's overprices 'stars') to Everton. The World Cup win came at the start of his decade as a regular member of the England team. At the end of his playing career, he moved into management, with varying success, for the rest of the 20th century.
More empty threats?
Another bank rip-off
The 'Auntie Wainwright' School of Banking?
The NatWest coughs up a world record amount!
Dollars aren't quite 2-a-penny but they're 2-a-quid this month, so it's a good time to buy stuff from the USA.
The government is constantly telling us how much taxpayers' cash it has thrown at the NHS in response to persistent complaints that the NHS is getting worse, not better. Now, a study has found out why the NHS is chronically short of surgical instruments doctors are leaving them in patients!
Can't win, won't win!
Can't slim, won't slim!
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BlackFlag News would like to bring to our readers' attention, this work by one of Romiley's premiere authors.
Read about the Book on the Romiley Literary Circle website
Category : Crime, set in 1987
There are notices up in the Health & Safety Executive's premises telling staff they are not allowed to move tables and chairs themselves (even chairs with castors). Anyone wishing to move their chair from one end of their desk to the other, or bring a visitor's chair over to the desk, has to fill in a Furniture Movement Order and give 48 hours' notice of the furniture rearrangement plan to the portering staff.
Insult + Injury = scotch gordon
Carbon con-man gets the wind taken out of his sails
Another labour crony installed in a top job
Nothing positive here!
Sleaze the whistle-blower? Again?
Smug Bugger decides not to quit 'for the sake of the country'
Rally round the duffer, chaps!
More bogus human rights
And finally . . . Small earthquake in Kent Richter 4.3 power cuts, some property damage, no one killed.
From 2007/06/01, home owners will have to provide a Home Information Pack to a buyer when they want to move on. The government estimates that this somewhat watered-down stealth tax will cost customers £400-650, but the price could be as high as the original £1,000 as the govt. has made a bog of things, as usual.
The Guardian of the Legacy
10 glorious years of achievements!.
Celebrate tony blair's glorious heritage!
Visit this homage to the greatest living Brit TODAY!
Research funded in the USA by NASA and the National Oceanographic & Atmospheric Administration has found that solar flares are having a greater than expected effect on the satellites of the Global Positioning system. And that's why SatNav systems in vehicles suffer peculiar blackouts.
brown Deity Danger?
Only For The Educated?
British Airways has the worst record in Europe for losing baggage and trying to swindle passengers out of proper compensation. BA blames its mess on new government security regulations and too many people wanting to use its alleged service.
Envirofascists blow a fuse!
Brit doing great abroad
VA pilot not so stoned!
Persia a paradise of empty hotels
"These bloody Iranians are like a bunch of teenage thugs, hanging around on a street corner, looking for trouble."
This thread is getting so silly in the 'real world' that we're calling a halt to it.
A former rebel turned Kremlin stooge has been installed as the president of Chechnya after effectively running this blighted land since his president father was exterminated in 2004. With his record of involvement in murder, kidnapping and torture, he reflects the continuing trend for a reduction of standards in leadership world-wide.
Police brutality the norm in Europe
All American professors to be armed
Nothing like getting your hopes up!
Nigerian govt. told to do a better job of vote-rigging
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