July got off to a good start for an anonymous resident of the village when, on the 3rd, he received an email from Gateway Lotto International of Amsterdam, the Netherlands, to tell him that he had won $4,000,000! And later that same day, he had another email from another Dutch firm called De Lotto. This time, he had won $1,500,000 in their email lottery.
BlackFlag News would like to offer its readers a chance to read this work by one of Romiley's premiere authors.
Category : Crime & Commerce, mid-1990s
After a 25% increase in the 'unlimited' dial-up internet charge this month, ntl will boost the cost of an 0845 local-rate call from 1st September by 14% for daytime calls and 52% for evening calls during the week, and by 45% at weekends. And pay-as-you go dial-up internet access will be the same price at weekends but the cost will be doubled on weekday evenings and tripled during the day on weekdays.
The Butler Report on the intelligence information gathered before the Iraq war will be published soon. Here is the verdict:
The Butler Report The Outcome:
Butler has concluded that if the government believes its own lies, then everything is okay. There was no need to go to war with Iraq. The only driving force was Vice-Prez Bliar's need to suck up to Prez Bush, who had to have Saddam Hussein's head as part of his misdirected "War Against T'rr" because he thought Saddam was supporting Al Qaida.
Smug bugger Bliar pleads ignorance
MI6 binned as 'fundamentally unreliable' the 'evidence' that Iraq had WoMD, was producing WoMD or even planned to produce WoMD one month before the August 2003 Hutton Inquiry. John Scarlett, head of the Joint Intelligence Committee, and Richard Dearlove, then head of SIS, neglected to mention the binning to Lord Hutton.
What's the smug bugger hoping to get away with now?
He got away with telling deliberate lies about Saddam Hussein's 'weapons of mass deception' (Vice-Prez Bliar's own words). Will he get away with making Mandy-poos the UK's EU commish?
John Morrison, sometime deputy chief of intelligence at the MoD, has been chucked off the government's Intelligence & Security Committee for speaking out of turn. He dared to say on Panorama that the spy agencies didn't agree that Iraq was 'a current and serious threat to the UK national interest' when Vice-Prez Bliar issued his sexed-up dodgy dossier in September 2002. So out he went.
After its grand royal opening, Diana's Ditch overflowed on Day 2. There is a section which resembles a storm drain, where the water is pumped out and returned to the highest point. Leaves blasted off the trees by the storm at the end of the first week of this month blocked it and the result was a serious flood. So goodness knows what's going to happen come autumn, when the trees get into serious leaf-shedding. Lifeboats in Kensington Gardens?
After lying about it initially, the Ministry of War has admitted that some specialist personnel, e.g. communications and engineering types, were sent to Iraq incompletely trained. But they were issued with a letter excusing them from being properly trained. Which leaves us wondering how widespread this practice is in Vice-Prez Bliar's regime.
Sir Peter Davis plunged the Sainsbury supermarket chain into a period of shrinking market share and tumbling share prices. Angry shareholders gave him the bum's rush despite the board's best efforts to keep him in place. But he can stroll off into the sunset with a couple of million quid as a reward for his failure. Nice work, if you can get it.
Inspired by their success in the European and local council elections, gerrymanderers in Birmingham are known to be busy collecting postal votes for the Hodge Hill by-election on the 15th. The same is probably true in Leicester South, but the spivs aren't being as blatant there.
Beautiful Basra or 'Join the army and clean the world'
The British army of occupation is having to spend much of its free time picking up litter and sweeping streets to make their areas of Iraq look half-way respectable for visiting politicians. Thousands of off-duty troops were hauled out of their rest areas to clean up Basra for War Minister 'Buff' Hoon's state visit in June. The troops are not happy about it but Vice-Prez Bliar is quite ruthless about enforcing his policy of keeping his ministers out of contact with the real world.
Gordy "No Balls" Broon
Now that his head speech writer, Ed Balls, has quit to become an MP, who's going to supply the Mugger with Balls-esque catch phrases like 'neo-classical endogenous growth theory'?
Irony or Hubris?
Home Sec. Blunk exposed to the nation his plans to make incitement of religious hatred illegal. This is another of New Labour's distractions from doing anything useful for the customers (like banning fox hunting and trying to define how hard people can smack their kids).
"Any more ideas we can nick?"
New Labour bust a gut to abolish grant-maintained schools when they came to power because they were a Tory idea. But guess what? Vice-Prez Bliar is bringing them back as his big new idea in education. Only he's calling them foundation schools because he wants people to think they're something different. [And also because he's a fundamentally dishonest oik, we're almost too polite to point out. Ed.]
Talk about 'beat yourself up'
The Commission for Racial Equality is in trouble with itself for not employing and promoting enough black people. Evil, racialist whites and Asians are hogging all the jobs and managerial posts. This is a fine example of the government's doctrine of circular employment the race police pretending they have useful jobs by investigating themselves.
Diana's Ditch is to get a Cool Britannia award. A spokesman for the Institute of Contemporary Engineers said, "The structure fits all of the New Labour criteria for coolness in terms of having style without substance, looking good at the planning stage, excessive cost, excessive time of construction and not working when built."
Safe in their hands?
Nice to know for sure what would happen if Islamic tourists visited the UK with their chemical and biological weapons.
This is what happened at this month's drill at Birmingham's NEC.
Did Mandelson blackmail his way to another top job?
It's clear that no one in his right mind would trust Peter Mandelson again. Mandy is seriously damaged goods and the odds are that he'll self-destruct again as soon as he gets his nose in the trough at the sleazy, corrupt administrative heart of the EU. So his customers are left wondering if Vice-Prez Bliar has finally flipped his wig. Or is there a more sinister explanation for Mandy's rehabilitation? After all, he must know where plenty of bodies are buried, having played the role of gravedigger often enough himself. So if he is blackmailing the Vice-Prez, it must be with something bloody good!
The SAS is to take over Diana's Ditch as an assessment assault course. A spokesman at the Herford HQ said, "Anyone who can run round the Ditch and keep his footing on smooth granite coated with invisible, slimy algae is definitely someone we'd be interested in."
The war against terror
Trade & Industry Sec. Pratty Hewitt is threatening to beef up the law to provide added protection against psychopaths posing as animal rights activists. Current laws, apparently, are unable to stop this breed of terrorist promoting violence, destruction of property, harassment of British citizens, disruption of legitimate business and murder. The National Association of Pension funds will help out by placing a £25M bounty on the heads of the terrorist organizers. And the government plans to help out further by assigning armed troops to guard animal research labs.
Saving the world or saving face? (at the taxpayers' expense)
The reason behind Vice-Prez Bliar's sudden enthusiasm for a new generation of nuclear power stations has been dragged out of the shadows. It's nothing to do with bogus attempts at preventing climate change. It's all to do with the £600,000,000 which Vice-Prez Bliar has blown, against expert advice, on a nuclear fuel factory, which is 8 years behind schedule and unlikely to open before 2006.
Deputy Vice-Prez Mr. T.W.O. Jags has decided that people can sign their own postal voting security statements for the November referenda on regional assemblies. Instead of having to look for a witness, people can sign their own name where it says: 'I certify that I am the person I say I am'.
Solicitor General Harriet Harperson has decided to lock up more men for rape. Her target figure is 5% of the male population in line with her totally bogus statistic that 5% of women over 16 have been raped. Members of ethnic minorities and asylum seekers will be excused on political correctness grounds.
"No, don't lock them up. I have shares in the probation service."
Lord Chief Justice Woolf still doesn't think it's a good idea to send criminals to gaol; even violent ones. Home Sec. Blunk is said to be 'actively considering' sending him on a compulsory re-education course to bring him into closer contact with reality.
The government is taking £210,000,000,000 more from the taxpayer in 2004/5 than it took in 1997/8 to cover increased spending (on Millennium Domes and other useful projects. Ed.).
The government has admitted that its first 7 years of messing about with schools have been wasted and either 25% or 33% of kids leave primary school illiterate and innumerate (the government doesn't know which figure is accurate). But the good news is that Education Sec. Charlie Clarke has a new 5-year plan for schools which is based on Tory policies. Except for grammar schools. New Labour MPs still don't want oiks to have access to their schools of choice for their own kids.
Damned lies, official statistics and government spin
The Statistical Commission has concluded that the government is not to be trusted with previews of official figures. Vice-Prez Bliar's minions are bringing the process of government into disrepute if they have access to new statistics up to 5 days before their release to the public. Their use of spin is spreading public mistrust, especially when the minions conspire with friendly newspapers and try to make bad news seem almost welcome next to bogus shock-horror stories.
Brains on hold
1. The Mugger wants to sack 80,000 civil servants (so their union is making noises about a strike). Meanwhile, the government, councils and quangos are hiring more public sector staff at a rate of 30,000 per year. And the Mugger has a secret plan to hire another 360,000 public service workers by 2006. Talk about trying to empty a bath with the taps full on!
Another lie from Mr. B. Liar: The number of bodies found in mass graves in Iraq is 5,000 not the 400,000 he was claiming.
Stealth Tax #87 in the making
The government has ambitions to set a Council Tax rate in excess of £6,000. Paying a rate support grant, or its equivalent, has always been a headache for central government. Which is why this one is planning to make councils raise most of their revenue locally and just apply modest 'top ups'. The plan is also a cynical exercise in putting cash into the pockets of Labour voters at the expense of Tory voters.
Things we can look forward to
The government is advising customers to stock up on bottled water, medical supplies and non-perishable foods to help them survive an Al Qaida attack. Defence Sec. Buff Hoon plans to make such an attack easier to pull off by messing about with the armed forces again. Expensive people will get the axe and be replaced them with even more expensive, high-tech gadgets, which won't work. In fact, wounded by accusations of lies about the Iraq war, Vice-Prez Bliar has decided there ain't going to be no more wars. Which is why he's more or less abolishing the RAF and the Navy, and reducing the size of the Army. Something else which the government has abolished is its target for switching off analogue TV in 2010. This won't happen until at least 2012 now.
The government's decision to cut the Coastguard strength to below an effective minimum led to a 30% increase in deaths and a 20% increase in accidents between 1998 and 2002. The Maritime and Coastguard Agency is 'entirely complacent' about the situation, says the Commons Transport Committee.
Vice-Prez Blair has handed the job of the UK's EU Commissioner to his much disgraced crony Peter Mandelson. And there will be no cabinet reshuffle because the Vice-Prez has spent too much time haggling over the Mandy-poos situation to do one. The commissioner's job is strictly a consolation prize after the rest of the cabinet decided that he was much too dodgy to be allowed back in.
"Indolence, neglect & complacency"
At a cost to the taxpayer of £8.3million, the government is sending every household its leaflet on what to do if terrorists attack with WoMD. The dodgy leaflet was dismissed by an expert on Radio 4's PM as "a statement of the bleedin' obvious" and most people see it as just another example of the government putting an alibi in place in case the unthinkable happens.
Vice-Prez Blair denies ...
Having anything to do with the Iraq war; being responsible for sacking John Morrison from his Intelligence & Security Committee; taking a huge bung from the manufacturers of bottled water, tinned food and batteries in return for a recommendation to buy lots of them in the government's leaflet on How to panic in the event of an Islamic tourist attack; having anything to do with making Peter Mandelson the UK's EU Commissioner, etc. etc.
Smart by name but not in practice
New Labour introduced a 'Smart Acquisition' initiative at the Ministry of Defence 6 years ago. Result? Troops aren't getting vital equipment, massive delays and monstrous cost over-runs are endemic, civil servants have been covering up the mess furiously and 'Smart Acquisition' has failed to deliver on all of its targets.
When the government set up its website to go with its £8.3million booklet, it reserved the domaign name "preparingforemergencies.gov.uk" but it did nothing about variations. So student Thomas Scott bought the domaign name "preparingforemergencies.co.uk" and set up his own spoof version. His reward was a lot of personal publicity in the papers and a pathetic email from some government dogsbody moaning about him trivializing what was already a very trivial government effort.
Vice-Prez Bliar has taken his brood off on holiday for the next 6 weeks. He intends to free-load on anyone who'll have him, especially in Italy. So we won't be hearing much about him for a while.
300,000 NHS customers pick up an infection in hospital, the National Audit Office says. Alternatively the infection rate is 10% of the 7,000,000 people who inhabit an NHS hospital bed every year i.e. 700,000 customers. So it looks like no one knows for sure and we're playing 'pick a number'.
Where the money the government says it's putting into the NHS really goes : Around £1million per year is wasted by the Ambulance Service on contesting speed-cam fines imposed on emergency vehicles.
Smoking lots of dope helps people to see in the dark, is the conclusion of research conducted in Jamaica and Morocco, where lots of dope is smoked by fishermen who operate at night.
Nicotine is good for schizophrenia, Alzheimer's disease and Parkinson's disease but obtaining it via smoking can still prove lethal.
Health Sec. John Reid is abolishing government targets for hospitals because fiddling the figures is consuming too much cash and the customers are on to this dodge anyway.
Something else this government is giving us more of that we don't want:
Sexually transmitted disease rates are up 4% overall and as much as 28% higher in specific cases in England, Wales and Northern Ireland. When a treatment service was introduced during World War I, the customers were treated right away. In the 21st Century, they have to wait up to 6 weeks to see the pox doctor. There's progress for you!
That thing about not using a mobile phone in a hospital or on a plane in case it disrupts vital equipment or makes the plane crash? It's all a bunch of bullshit, the Medical & Healthcare Products Registration Agency has admitted. If doctors can use their mobiles in hospitals anywhere and everywhere, they must be safe.
BMG is to introduce no-frills music CDs at €9.99 a go; but only in Germany for the moment. The el cheapo versions have the title printed on the disc and they are free of the lyrics and other stuff which no one ever reads.
Saddam Hussein has chosen defiance and mockery as his major themes for the theatrical performance at his trial in Iraq. His fate is clear. He can't be release and he can't be stashed in prison in case his criminal associates start a revolution to restore him to power and kill further thousands of people.
"J'Accuse! Bush is the real criminal."
Vice-Prez Bliar is reported to be highly dischuffed at being excluded by the man who claims that he is still Prez of Iraq. Mr. B. Liar feels that he should receive at least as much credit as Prez Bush for getting the Iraq war started on the basis of bogus 'intelligence' information and sexed-up dossiers.
EU budget commissioner Schreyer (who has to be German with a name like that [and she's female nuff said, Ed.]) is trying to abolish the UK's rebate. Again. Instead of cutting down on waste and fraud, and dodgy subsidies to the French, the EU would like us to hand over our £3billion and not make a fuss about it.
Killer kangaroos are rampaging around in the suburbs of Canberra, Australia's capital. Drought in the surrounding bush has left them without food and pissed off to the max.
Good news from Brussels!!! The European Commission has given the Mugger 2 months to stop interfering with free trade and persecuting booze cruisers by imposing arbitrary and illegal limits on how much drink and tobacco they can buy. The UK Customs & Excise policy of stealing vehicles from booze cruisers is sticking in the Commission's collective throats in particular.
The International Court of Justice at The Hague has told Israel to tear down its illegal version of the Berlin Wall. Israel replied, "Sod off!" with American backing. Another pronouncement to issue from the state of Israel is that it would like to see a nuclear-free Middle East. Which is rather rich when Israel is the only state in the region with nuclear weapons, even though it denies having any.
Prez "I'd be in gaol if I wasn't in office" Chiraq has promised to give the French nation a referendum on the EU constitution in late 2005/early 2006 well after the next French general election.
Whose EU is it really?
The European Court of Justice has ruled that the EU governments acted illegally in letting France and Germany violate the eurozone rule which states that budget deficits must stay below 3% of GDP. Britain's own chancellor The Mugger was a party to the crime. France and Germany could be fined one squillion euros [like that's going to happen, Ed.]. They are both heading for a budget deficit of above 3% for the 3rd year running.
Prez & Vice-Prez in secret talks with Saddam?
In the light of our Blessed Leader's multiple problems over going to war in Iraq on false pretenses, and the growing dissatisfaction in the United State as the prezidential election approaches, Prez Bush and Vice-Prez Bliar are reported to be engaged in secret negotiations with the former World's Favourite Despot. Their ambition seems to be to restore the status quo ante in Iraq in a way which involves no apologies from the aggressors. They feel that Iraq needs a totally ruthless leader to restore order and expel the Al Qaida terrorists who have come flocking to the country. And as he has no WoMD and he is no threat to either the United States or the United Kingdom, Saddam looks the ideal man for the job.
Two women, who were the first to take advantage of Canada's same-sex marriage law, would now like a divorce. Only they can't have one as the Canadian Divorce Act still defines spouses as a man and a woman. Talk about being the agent of your own misfortune!
Greek Olympic scam
The authorities in Athens are selling off tickets for their Olympic games to anyone who makes them a reasonable offer. The only catch is that the purchaser's bum will never hit the seat. Why? Because it's impossible to book a hotel room anywhere near Athens. They are all either spoken for or being held empty deliberately in the hope that they can be offered at a rip-off price at the last minute.
The real reason for invading Afghanistan was to stop the natives growing opium poppies, just as the real reason for invading Iraq was to take control of the oil and keep Al Qaida out of the country. Only the Taliban were on the opium ranchers' case and Saddam Hussein didn't want anything to do with Al Qaida. So as a result of the efforts of Prez Bush and Vice-Prez Bliar, papaver somniferum is now Afghanistan's main product, Al Qaida are coming and going freely in Iraq and the oil ain't flowing because tourists keep blowing up the pipelines. Don't you just wish the politicians would go on holiday permanently and stop their bloody meddling!
Torture in Iraq 'mainly cosmetic'
Senior US intelligence officers have hinted that the images of torture and abuse of Iraqi prisoners of war and other detainees at Abu Ghraib prison were 'largely staged'. Prisoners were eager to tell what they knew about the activities of Saddam loyalists and foreign terrorists but they were too afraid of their fellow inmates to be seen talking to the Americans. But if they talked under torture, that mitigated their betrayal of what was a lost cause. And so the images of torture and humiliation were concocted to protect the co-operative.
The conclusion of the Senate Select Committee on Intelligence is that the war would not have been authorized if anyone had know what a shambles the CIA had become.
They were looking the wrong way
Iran, not Iraq, helped Al Qaida's September 11th terrorists, says the US Congressional committee which is inquiring into the attacks. The Iranians gave 8 of the terrorists safe passage to Afghanistan and told the border guards to look the other way and forget about stamping passports.
July 20th marks the 60th anniversary of one of the plots to kill Adolf Hitler. BlackFlag News would like to offer its readers the inside story of this dramatic event as told by one of Romiley's premiere authors.
Category : Military History, World War II, 1944
So much whitewash was used up by the Hutton and Butler Inquiries that there was none left for the US Congress. The conclusion of their report is that Al Qaida was to blame for the terrorist attacks on September 11th, 2001, but the Clinton and Bush presidencies, and the nation's 15 'intelligence' agencies, had enough information between them to avert the attacks. But the spies didn't pool their bits and the respective administrations failed to put in place effective security measures.
Major Harry Schmidt of the US air force, who killed 4 Canadians in Afghanistan in 2002 with his gung-ho bombing, has been fined one month's pay ($5,700) and reprimanded as his punishment.
Bad guys are finding out what they can get away with
According to Audrey Hudson of the Washington Times, Middle Eastern men are currently testing security precautions at airports and on airliners in what look like dry runs for future terrorists attacks. They are boarding airliners pretending to be strangers and then clustered in groups, monopolized the toilets and passing fast-food bags around the group.
Hot food if you're really desperate
The US Combat Feeding Directorate, creator of the indestructible sandwich has come up with the ultimate dried meal as part of a plan to reduce the amount of water that soldiers have to carry. The pack offers an 800% reduction in the weight of a day's food. Customers can re-hydrate it by dipping it in a muddy puddle (if clean water isn't available) as the chicken and rice meal is stored in a microporous pouch, which can filter out 99.9% of all bacteria and most toxic chemicals. In an emergency, the customer can even pee on it as long as he doesn't do this too often. The membrane cannot exclude urea, which can cause kidney damage in the long term.
Stroppy sod gets ticket
Leland Laird of Appleton, Wisconsin, likes to park his wheelchair next to the railroad tracks and give the trains a middle-finger salute. But he got too close to one of them this month. It clipped his wheelchair, tipped him out, and he ended up with cuts and abrasions. He also collected a penalty notice from the local police for 'being a pedestrian in violation of traffic signals'.
Former Clinton advisor 'deeply regrets' an 'honest mistake'
Sandy Berger, national security adviser to ex-Prez Bill Clinton, hit on an interesting solution to hiding embarrassing documents from the Sept. 11 commission's eyes. He strolled into an archive of classified material and let himself be seen stuffing documents down his trousers, into his shirt and into his socks. The US Justice Department is currently investigating his conduct.
"Hope is on the way!" is White House hopeful John Kerry's slogan of the moment.
Would YOU vote for a draft-dodger?
Where were Prez Bush and Vice-Prez Bliar during the Vietnam war. Not charging about the Mekong river on a gunboat like John 'Lurch' Kerry, that's for sure!
But hey, what sort of a 'war hero' goes round bragging about what he did in the war at every opportunity?
Don't vote, it only encourages them!
Since the 2001 terrorist attacks on the USA, an average of 8 Asians per day have been stopped and searched by the British police instead of an average of 2 per day. And as a result, racialist Moslems have been accusing the police of picking on them when they weren't threatening to join Al Qaida.
Amazonian Indians, who used 29 invading prospectors for target practice, have been ruled insufficiently civilized to be responsible for their actions. So they can't be prosecuted for chopping the heads of anyone who didn't croak when turned into a human pincushion with arrows.
New Zealand has virtually broken off diplomatic relations with Israel until it gets an apology. Israeli spies were caught trying to obtain by fraud, a NZ passport in the name of a tetraplegic who is unable to speak. Two bungling spies received gaol sentences of 6 months, 2 others are still on the run.
7 wasted years on the anti-crime front
That political opportunist PC Bliar would like us to forget that he has wasted the last 7 years dancing with criminals. He's now become PC Stalin and he's giving us a Soviet-style Five Year Plan for policing. And, no doubt, it will be as big a success as a Soviet-era Five Year Plan on paper (after he's fiddled the figures) if not on the streets.
Through its own neglect and incompetence, the Royal Mail is losing thousands of pounds every year. How? Because customers are writing FREEPOST on their mail instead of sticking a stamp on it. And the Royal Mail isn't bothering to check that the addressees have one of their Freepost accounts.
They are there just to raise money
The head of Norfolk's speed camera scheme has quit after a police investigation showed that half of the the county's speedcams could not be justified on road safety grounds. Norfolk Casualty Reduction Partnership's speedcams raised £2.4million from 40,000 customers last year. If there were any justice in this country, half of that sum would have to be returned. But the government has assured its customers that all 6,000 speedcams in the country are 'positioned correctly to save lives rather than raise money'. And we all know how resentfully Vice-Prez Bliar sticks to his lies.
If you're going to be wrongly imprisoned, make sure it happens in Scotland rather than England or Wales. Because the thieving sods at the Home Office will knock 25% off any compensation award as 'living expenses which the claimant has not incurred'.
It's been on the way since October 1997 and NASA's Cassini spacecraft has finally entered orbit around Saturn to study the planet itself, its ring system and its moons. Saturn is known to have 31 moons but Cassini is expected to find more. It is hoped that studying how the rings interact with Saturn's moons will help to create a model of how the planets formed from a disc of gas and dust around the early Sun.
The actor who became the 'Monarch of Mumble' has died at 80. He made a name for himself in the film industry in the 1950s and he helped to make 'method acting' and mumbling fashionable. Brando made lots of money by the Seventies, he was able to command millions of dollars for a couple of minutes' screen-time but he blew it all and then he had the cheek to call the American way of life greedy and irresponsible.
The television actor with an imposing frame and a comic talent has died at 83. His early career included parts in Emergency Ward 10, Z-Cars and its successor Softly, Softly but he is best remembered as Leonard Rossiter's pompous boss C.J. ("I didn't get where I am today ...") in the Seventies series The Fall And Rise Of Reginald Perrin. His other television credits include All Gas And Gaiters, The Glums, To The Manor Born, Whoops, Apocalypse! and Yes, Minister, so he is ensured a place in 'digital heaven' on the UKTV Gold, Paramount Comedy and the other digital golden oldies channels.
Another giant of the TV industry has died at 67. Once a familiar figure on ITV's Saturday afternoon wrestling programmes, Pat Roach also used his acting talents in TV dramas and films. His big screen credits include a Bond film and all 3 Indiana Jones epics. On TV, he could play big and bad in cop shows, big and funny in the likes of Auf Wiedersehen Pet and big and noble, e.g. in the role of PO Evans in The Last Place On Earth, a 6-part dramatization of Captain Scott's expedition to the South Pole. He also found time for poetry and he was the co-author of 2 books.
One of the men who won the race to describe the structure of the DNA molecule has died at 88. He and his colleague John Watson deduced the double-helix structure in 1953 with the assistance of X-ray diffraction evidence produced by Rosalind Franklin, and suggested DNA's method of replication. In 1963, Crick, Watson and their colleague Maurice Wilkins were awarded the Nobel Prize for Medicine for their discoveries. Thirteen years later, Crick joined the brain drain to the United States, where he investigated the workings of the brain.
Congrats to the Greek football team for winning something for the first time ever. Hard cheese to Portugal, but they knew they were there by false pretences after England were swindled out of a quarter-final victory, and if they were going to aim their shots at the car park rather than the goal, they didn't have much of a chance. It's a maxim of American football that great defences win championships. The Greeks have proved that it can apply to soccer, too.
Banana producer Chiquita International plans to torpedo its rivals with a new range of products offering different flavours and textures, and a size to suit the customer. Strawberry flavoured bananas at a premium price? Not likely to catch on, even if they are guaranteed not to be genetically monstered.
Check the small print
Supermarkets are injecting raw pork with salt water and additives, and selling the watered-down product at up to double the price charged by an independent butcher. Tesco pork chops, for instance, have contained 11% of water, dried glucose syrup, polyphosphate binder and other additives for at least 3 years. The supermarket chain has been fined token amounts after 'zero publicity' prosecutions.
Green vegetables, eaten at any age, are good for the memory. So if you've destroyed your short-term memory by smoking dope, eating lots of sprouts will restore it.
Caffeine aids concentration by focussing the mind which can lead to memories not immediately related to the matter in hand becoming inaccessible. There is currently no research into whether eating green vegetables is any help.
Tesco has promised to put red labels on products with high levels of fat, salt and/or sugar. Which means that most of its own 'Healthy Living' range of foods will be wearing red badges. Which makes us wonder exactly what's in the normal, unhealthy Tesco products ...
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless you're a kid, in which case you'll probably go down with pesticide residue poisoning.
Transport Sec. Alastair 'Eyebrows' Darling is looking at a plan to fit every road vehicle with an ID beacon and monitor their movements via one or more satellites.
Messing about with the railways #1
New Labour's decision to let Railtrack fester in administration for a year before creating Network Rail has wasted £14billion of taxpayers' cash. No wonder the Mugger has such a big black hole in his accounts.
Messing about with the railways #2
The government's next big idea for the railways is to scrap the Strategic Rail Authority and let Alastair 'Eyebrows' Darling become the control-freak in charge. Customers are expected to believe that replacing one set of bureaucrats with another will have a positive effect on the quality of service. And that when the Whitehall mob get the railways back into their eager, sweaty hands, they'll be able to resist their instinct to micro-manage them into utter ruin.
Congratulations on your magnificent 2nd place in the German Grand Prix from 13th on the grid to J. Button, who had to hold his helmet on with one hand while doing nearly 200 mph during the final laps of the race to avoid being strangled.
Congratulations also to L. Armstrong on his record sixth straight win of the Tour de France.
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Sole © RAL, July 2004.