Zoltan, Hound of Dracula (1978) Eastern Europeans do some blasting and uncover an ancient tomb; containing a hell-hound with glowing eyes. It once did Dracula out of a victim, so he chomped it a bit. An Inspector arrives to look over the Dracula tomb. One coffin contains a staked body but two others are empty. One contained the dog and the other its owner; a half-vampire, Schmitt, who is looking for a new master.
Michael Drake (Dracula as was), the last of the line, is in L.A. and about to go on holiday with his family and their dogs. Zoltan makes a nuisance of itself and one of the Drake puppies ends up dead and buried but undead. Zoltan eats a camper and bits of other dogs. Michael's cross pendant saves him from the same fate. The Inspector tells Michael about Zoltan and Schmitt.
The Inspector wants to dispose of Schmitt, but they have to survive an attack by devil-dogs first. Schmitt is staked but the dogs go after Michael. The Inspector sees off most of them and it's Michael vs Zoltan, who falls off a cliff to be impaled. But there's still the undead puppy . . .
Zombeavers (2014) A dozy sod hauling toxic waste is messing about with his phone when he runs into a deer. Splat! A can of nastiness ends up in a river and spouts green stuff onto a beaver dam.
Mary, Zoe, her dog and Jenn go to Ashwood for a BF-free weekend. There's no phone service. The three jerkish boyfriends turn up at nightfall. An invading beaver is battered to death in the bathroom. There's another beaver attack at the lake the next day and Mary's BF gets his foot chewed off. The dog is sacrificed. Jenn has to kill the beaver in the bathroom again. It's undead.
The beavers drop a tree onto one of the BFs. They've killed the neigbours and chewed up all the landline phone wires. And they kill a helpful backwoodsman. Jenn, bitten by the bathroom beaver, turns into a zombie and nearly kills Mary. The BF with no foot goes the same way. And the old lady next door.
A beaver chews wiring and sets the house on fire but Zoe crashes a truck inside to save Mary. But Mary turns into a Zombie and Zoe has to slay her. Then Zoe tries to get a lift but the 2 bozos in the waste truck wipe her out. Splat! Just like the deer at the start of this epic.
Zombie Shark (2015) Woman in a canoe. Chomp! Bar-owner Amber's boyfriend takes her and her 2 sisters to Red Plum Island for a group break. There's a "test subject" missing from Dr. Palmer's nearby military project. And a storm on the way which will cut the island off from the mainland. The resort is a dump, Lester is in charge of everything and there's a dead shark with a huge bite out of it on the beach.
Surprise! The dead shark swallows Amber's BF and swims away at super-speed. Chomp! No sheriff. Amber's boat has been sabotaged and there's no phone service. A girl braves the icy waters at a beach. Chomp! And her BF. "The shark is dead and it's still killing? What, like a zombie shark?" Amber falls off a pier but Sergeant Max blasts the approaching shark with a bazooka.
His Bravo team has been eaten. There's a whole gang of sharks, which have been infected by Bruce, which is trying to create more zombies and humans bitten by the sharks will become zombies too. Dr. Palmer was trying to regenerate dead tissue to save soldiers and she was experimenting on sharks, Sgt. Max admits.
Lester has to blow the head off a zombie homeless guy. Roger gets a beacon working but he sits with his stoopid legs in the water. Chomp! Lester deploys his army of shark killers. The doc wants a zombie brain, and there's a shark head on the beach. It bites the doc in her lab, so she sends Sister Sophie ashore with the vaccine.
Kaboom! Sgt. Max blows up the lab and most of the sharks, and Bruce gets Sophie. Amber does a Cap'n Ahab on the shark then chops Bruce open to rescue Sophie. Oh, no! She's a zombie. So Amber has to kill her too. But Sophie still has the vaccine bottle in her hand.
Zoolander (2001) A bunch of bad guys want to get rid of the saintly ratbag of a prime minister in Malaysia. The male model industry also supplies assassins and Derek Zoolander is picked out as a particularly dim one, who can be brainwashed easily. Z decides he should be helping people just before his two dim buddies blow themselves up. He retires from the profession at the funeral and becomes a laughing stock.
The wheels come off the assassination plan. Z joins his dad, working in the mine. Then he goes back to the biz and gets the Ipcress treatment to turn him into a killer. Z and Matilda, his not-friend journalist, are tipped off about models being used as assassins. Then their informant is done in. Z and the lady go into hiding.
Will Derek kill the PM at the fashion show, which the BGs are putting on? He gets a trigger word from the scary bad guy lady, but he's unplugged at the last second. Jacko, the boss bad guy with the naff white hair, is foiled and Matilda bashes the scary lady. Then Z opens a school.
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