[Friday, 01st] TNF replay: the Redskins in Dallas [16:00, Sky Sports] Defences were firmly in charge early on. The Skins were close to scoring after 9 minutes but Cousins was picked off near the Dallas goal line. The Cowboys ended up punting away their turnover but the Redskins coughed up the kick return! DPI got Dallas to the red zone in Q2 and they scored a TD 4 minutes in.
   Cousins fumbled the ball to the Cowboys when sacked at his 19 but just a FG from this turnover, 0-10 in the 10th minute. The Skins had a punt returned 83 yards for a TD! a couple of good blocks then weaving through traffic. 0-17. But the Skins blasted back with a quick TD, 7-17 at the half.
   Q3 was all defence but the Cowboys were looking menacing in the red zone at the end of it, and started Q4 with a TD. 7-24. The Skins had a long field but went 90 yards for a TD, 14-24. The Cowboys ate clock with a long drive to another TD, 14-31 with 5 minutes to go. A tipped pass was picked by Dallas and that set up a final TD, 14-38 at the end.
Murder, She Wrote [Indian Giver, 19:00, ITV3] Some crazy Injun crashes Founder's Day in Cabbage Cove with a bogus claim to the whole area, which rattles the guy hoping to bring a $17M resort hotel to the area as well as the banker, who holds mortgages on most of the town. The Injun get short shrift when he demands rent from everyone.
   Jessica rescues the town's battered bride, who tells her about the hotel. Gulp! the lady's husband is in the town hall speared with the injun's lance. The dead guy had an option on the land where the hotel will be buiklt. A posse chases down the Injun.
   Jessica joins in his scam and tries to frame the battered woman's father, but bags the woman instead. And she sinks the resort plan. The Injun's scam also flops but Jessica help him with a new one.
The Heat (2013) [21:00, TCM] This is a daft cop movie featuring a confrontation between a prissy, ambitious, full-of-herself Fed and a fat, foul-mouthed and disgusting Boston detective with an RPG in her fridge arms-locker. They're after drug buggers and they upset an albino DEA agent, who's after the same gang. He tells the broads to butt out. Like that's going to happen.
   The ladies get to drunken binge terms then Wayne is blown up by a bomb planted in the Fed's car. The DEA guy tells the broads that HBG Larkin is on to them and they need to get out of town. The cop's criminal brother gives the ladies a bum steer. Then the BGs shoot him.
   That's it for her case, her boss tells the Fed. Lots of drug busts in Boston put pressure on the BGs. The gun-fridge comes in handy; until the ladies get themselves caught. Surprise! the other DEA guy, not the albino, is the rat. He goes to the hospital to kill the cop's brother but the lady Fed shoots his dick off and earns the amazement and respect of the cop.

[Saturday, 02nd] Midsomer Murders [Let us prey, 19:00, ITV 3] Some old frescos are found under a church. Six months later, the village is in danger of flooding and Nurse Nancy is found bashed on the head and drowned at the weir; just like one of the images in the fresco, which has its own website. She ditched her violent, drunken husband, Mike, for The Professor, an academic working to conserve the fresco.
   The retired vicar tells Barnaby the younger that Nancy was a slut. She was planning to shoot off to Australia. The pushy current lady vicar is plotting to sell the old vicar's cottage to raise conservation cash. Mike's dad makes a bog of ditching Nancy's car and he's written off like another scene in the fresco. Someone is killing sinners, the old vicar says.
   The Professor is reaped as the flood threat grows. Running out of inspiration, Barnaby decides to frame the old vicar, who rescued his unofficial daughter, Eva, from a hopeless drug addict and raised her. And the flood didn't happen.

[Sunday, 03rd] SNF: the Vikings @ the Falcons [17:30, Sky Sports] The Viks punted away their first possession. The Falcons went for 4th & 2 at the MV 39, and on to a FG, 0-3. The MV were sacked to a punt; to the AF 2. The Falcons punted. In Q2, the MV got to the AF 2 with a 30 yard run by Murray, TD for McKinnon, 7-3. The Falcons ripped through the Vikings, stalled, FG, 7-6. Then the defences held up.
   The Falcons went ahead with a FG 3 minutes in to Q3, 7-9. Lots of defence, then the MV finished Q3 with a TD for Rudolph, 14-9. Lots more defence in Q4, the Falcons missed a 45-yard FG with 5 minutes left. The Vikings held on to win.
Next, the Panthers @ the Saints. The Saints advanced to the red zone and Kamara went in on a 4th down for a TD. The Panthers took their opening drive to an answering TD, 7-all. Defence into Q2. A 72 yard run by Ingram put the Saints at thre CP 12, and he went in from 3 yards out, 7-14. A penalty on Peppers kept a NO drive going to a TD for Thomas, 7-21 after 8 minutes. The Panthers punted but forced and recovered a fumble, 21 yard TD for McCaffrey against a blown coverage, 14-21.
   The CP were sacked to a punt in Q3. 5 flags as the punt return went to the CP end zone, then came back. It was Kamara who got to do the NO Lambeau Leap to top off a solid drive, 14-28. The next NO drive ended with a missed FG.
   In Q4, the CP went for 4th & 6 at the NO 12 and ended up a yard short. NO punted after a sack and the Panthers fumbled the reception away! That gave the Saints a FG and 14-31. Newton dashed 31 yards to the NO 25, TD for Funchess, 21-31. Did the CP recover a short kick off? NO ball after a review, and they kept hold of it for the rest of the quarter to seal a win.

[Monday, 04th] SNF replay: the Eagles in Seattle [10:30, Sky Sports] The SH opening drive produce a FG and they scored a TD with 10 seconds left of Q1 for 0-10. The Eagles managed a TD after 7 minutes of Q2, 3-10. Wentz almost scored a TD in Q3 but lost the ball when he crashed down just short of the goal line and it sailed through the end zone for a touchback.
   Was Baldwin in for a SW TD after 8 minutes? He stepped out at the 1. Watkins took a 3rd down TD pass, 3-17. Agholor's TD in Q4 got the Eagles to within one score at 10-17. The Weeds went back to 2 scores up with a TD for 21 at midway, 10-24, and the match was effectively over when Wentz was picked in the SW end zone just before the 2MW.
Murder, She Wrote [Room With A View, 19:00, ITV3] Jessica was spending more time with Grady, how long before he's busted for murder? They were at a posh hotel presided over by Cornelia and her teenage husband, Gary, who was up to no good. Gulp! Grady found the blackmailing 3rd cheerleader from the left's body.
   The hotel security guy wanted murder to be a little accident and the cop was too busy making personal appearances to investigate. The teenage husband used moral blackmail to get Grady into more bother. Jessica butted heads with the inspector and told Grady he's an idiot.
   Gary's mom told Jessica that her son was married to the dead tramp when he got married to Cornelia. Jessica decided that the simplest way out of the mess was to frame the hotel's manager.

[Tuesday, 05th] MNF replay: the Stelers @ the Bengals [13:30, Sky Sports] The Bengals put R'berger under lots of pressure and their reward was a pick after 2 minutes, which gave them a FG 2 minutes later. A TD for S.J. Green in the last minute of Q1 put them 0-10 up. Lots of defence in Q2 but the Bengals ate clock and rushed to scoring range as half time approached. Another TD for Green, 0-17. Which left the Steelers with 30 seconds for Bell to get to midfield, DPI on the next play, FG, 3-17 at the half.
   In Q3, Bell scored an unexpected TD, going 35 yards; mainly because the Bengals thought he stepped out at their 20 and they just stopped playing! 10-17. Green got behind the PS defence and made the end zone but the Bengals were done for holding (bogus penalty) and kicked a FG in the 12th minute for 10-20.
   Bell made a 4th & inches easily in Q4, DPI got the Steelers to the CB 21, real DPI in the end zone wasn't given, FG, 13-20. Brown & Bell got the PS to FG range, on to the 6, TD for Brown, 20-all. The Bengals were sacked to a punt. The Steelers ate clock to FG range, a 38-yard kick made it 23-20 and a win in a tough match with lots of bad feeling and some bad injuries.
Murder, She Wrote [Who Threw the Barbitals in Mrs. Fletcher's Chowder?, 19:00, ITV3] Winny ran away from her bozo husband and parked on her brother, Sheriff Amos. He tried to dump her off on Mrs. F., who had a book to finish. Crazy Elmo, the husband, crashed in with his deadleg siblings. Winny dumped Elmo for the Cabbage Cove doctor! Then someone spiked Jessica's chowder. Everyone but Elmo went to sleep; he didn't wake up again. Someone had spiked him a bit more. Hooray!
   New gung-ho Deputy Marigold busted Elmo's PI snooper but Winny became the prime suspect when Jessica worked out why only Elmo had croaked. Jessica confronted the dodgy siblings. Kenny was the killer but only to save the family business from Elmo. Deputy Marigold saved the day at the end.
Knight Rider [Give Me Liberty . . . Or Give Me Death, 19:00, ITV3] A racer crashed & burned. Michael was put in the Alternative Energy Sources race to find out if there was a saboteur. Little Liberty, a journalist, chummed up with him. Someone shot up the cars and the rifle was planted in the hotel room of one of the racers, who was arrested.
   Problem solved, thought Devon, the fool! A bomb in the bootleggers' car proved him wrong and Liberty managed to bale out of it just seconds before the car was destroyed. The BGs grabbed Little Liberty when they caught her spying; they were staging accidents to make a dull cable show sell.
   The BGs decided to blow up Liberty. Michael spotted that the accidents were happening suspiciously close to a scattering of TV cameras. He and Kitt saved Little Liberty then won the race before rolling up the BGs.

[Wednesday, 06th] Murder, She Wrote [Marbinger of Death, 19:00, ITV3] Science vs war-mongering was the theme of the night. Jessica arrived to celebrate the wedding anniversary of a niece, Carrie, who had gone AWol. Leonard, the husband, had been neglecting her to look for comets. There was a pushy Madelein about. Madelein's boy helper was found dead in the hideout, which Carrie had been using.
   There was a lot of BS about Leonard using an astronomical telescope to spy on the hideout, which was 30 miles from the observatory. Carrie used to be pals with the dead guy. The cop wanted Jessica to work on his wife's true-crime book, which gave her an inside track to his investigation.
   Leonard's boss fired him for political reasons; Carrie was hiding out in his summer home! Carrie & Leonard had a confession contest, each trying to shield the other, so Mrs. F. decided to frame Leonard's nice lady assistant. What a rotter she is! But she changed her mind and went for Madelein in the end. And wriggled out of the book deal.
Imitation Mythbusters [20:00, Discovery] If someone farts in a sleeping bag then lights a cigarette, will it blow up the occupants. Cue explosions with hydrogen-based artificial fart mixtures.
   If an old water heater in a garage falls over in an earthquake, will it take off like a torpedo and blast a clean, round hole through an RV parked next to it? The guys did tests with bottles of water, then fired a full-size water heater 300 yards and up a hill! Encouraged, they built a garage on the bomb range.
   A real sleeping bag was too porous to contain the phart mixture, so the guys built a plastic analogue, which was leak-proof. The explosion looked very pretty on the replay, and it was very destructive, but in the real world, it was Myth Busted.
   Things went wonky on the range and getting the water heater to fall over was a problem. And when it took off, it hit the solid chassis of the RV and just dented it a bit. Even so, the Myth was declared Plausible.

[Thursday, 07th] Murder, She Wrote [Curse of the Daanau, 19:00, ITV3] Grave robbing, an old bloke with a young wife and a grasping daughter called Caroline, and the bloke is Dr. Seth's brother, to whom he hasn't spoken for 30 years. The Doc and Mrs. F. go to a polo match and find that the invitation came from the young wife. There's also a sinister Indian hanging around. He sez there's a curse on the ruby the young wife is wearing!
   Alice is almost done in but her father and Dr. Seth save her. Alice's dad makes sure the cops are called as it's not an accident. The stoopid cop wants it to be a failed suicide. Jessica and Dad hold out for murder. Then Seth's brother Richard is found dead in a locked room and the ruby is gone.
   The stoopid cop [Major Burns from M*A*S*H] thinks Jessica is a secret agent. The sinister Singh is busted with the ruby; an opportunist thief, not the killer, Jessica decides. The cop goes after the grasping daughter then the teenage wife, but Jessica nails down Alice's Dad.

[Friday, 08th] TNF replay: the Saints @ the Falcons [16:00, Sky Sports] NO were stopped in the red zone and kicked a FG after 4 minutes (Kamara dinged). The Falcons took rather longer to achieve the same and 3-all. In Q2, roughing the passer by NO (a nothing penalty) kept Atlanta going; to the NO 1, and a 3rd down walk in TD for 24, 3-10.
   The Saints sprinted to an answering TD with 2 minutes left in the half, 10-all. A pick by NO was returned to FG range. They set up for a 47 yard kick with 4 seconds left, drew a flag and the referee declared there was no time left to play another down so no FG!!
   The Saints picked Ryan's first play of Q3; a pass deflected. Ingram crashed to the AF 1, Thomas got the TD, 17-10. The Falcons reached the NO 9, only for Ryan to be picked off again in the end zone by Williams. The Saints did nothing with their turnover.
   Finally, the Falcons reached the scoring zone in Q4, Sanu got a TD, 17-all with 10 minutes to go. The Falcons went ahead with a FG, 17-20 with 4 minutes to go. Thomas dashed 35 yards to the AF 45, NO made a 4th down in easy FG range, then Brees was intercepted in the end zone by Jones. The Falcons had a moment of panic after a fumble but got the ball back, and they were able to run out the clock.

[Saturday, 09th] The A Team [The Island, series 3/episode 8, 19:00, Forces TV] BGs take over a Pacific island to use as a base for their heroin operation. They have the bad luck to choose the island where the doctor who saved BA's life in Vietnam lives. The doc's son sails to LA to get the A Team. They evade Col. Decker with ease and fly out in a seaplane.
   What luck! There's a WW II tank on the island, which BA brings back to life with the battery from the plane. There are also shells and millions of rounds of the blank ammo, which is shot off with such reckless abandon to avoid actually killing anyone. So the BGs have no chance.

[Sunday, 10th] NFL Sunday 1: the Raiders in KC [18:04, Sky Sports] The Raiders were sacked 3 & out. The Chiefs went on to a FG after a sack, 0-3 in the 6th minute. Despite another sack by Irvin, KC marched on to a TD for Kelce? Just short at the end of the quarter.
   Hunt got the TD to start Q2, 0-10. The next KC drive produced a 53 yard FG, 0-13. The Raiders were stopped by a pick, a TD for Kelce was wiped out by a penalty on KC, they were sacked back to the 20 from the OR 10 at the 2MW, an OR pick in their end zone was wiped out by a penalty and KC gave up and kicked a FG, 0-16. A 3rd sack by Irvin kept KC out of FG range at the end of the half.
   In Q3, KC cut through Swiss cheese but had to settle for a FG, 0-19. The Raiders fumbled away the first KC punt of the day! But Smith's first play was picked by Joseph!! Not that the Raiders did anything with the turnover. another KC TD, for West, 0-26.
   Finally, a TD by Lynch with 9 minutes of Q4 left, 6-26. The Raiders recovered an on-side kick but had to challenge to get it. They advanced to goal to go, went back for OPI, a 29 yard TD pass to Cook, +2, 15-26. KC ate clock. The Raiders faffed about and a pick by KC with 36 seconds left settled things.
Next up, SNF 2: the Seasquawks in Jacksonville [21:26, Sky Sports] The SH were stopped. JX were held to a FG, 0-3. Lots of defence into Q2. The SH were stopped by a pick but nothing from JX. The Squawks missed a FG try in the last minute of the first half.
   Finally, in the 3rd minute of Q3, the Jags made an interception and went on to a TD for Westbrook, 0-10. The SH kicked a FG after 7 minutes, 3-10, and retrieved a fumble of the kick off. Then they sprinted to an equalizer. 10-all. Bang! Bortles to Cole, 75 yards for a TD, 10-17.
   The SH punted and JX returned the kick to the SW 1! 72 yards. TD on the next play, 10-24 with 6 minutes left. Another pick by the Jags left them starting at their 3. Bummer? No, they were soon out of the hole.
   The Jags ate clock in Q4 and kicked a 51 yard FG for 10-27. One play for a TD by the Squawks, 17-27. Another FG for JX with 4 minutes to go, 17-30. Two plays for a TD by the SH, going through vast open spaces in the D, 24-30. The next SH drive was sacked to 4th & 9, and they went out on downs. About time the JX D showed up!
   The Jags reached FG range but went into victory formation. Flags and a hat flying when the Weeds turned nasty and 91 Seattle was evicted. 72 shudda gone, too. Same on the next kneel-down, 99 Seattle evicted. Nasty finish to a good win by the Jags.

[Monday, 11th] SNF 3: the Ravens in Pittsburgh [12:30, Sky Sports] A pick by Davis stopped the BR. The PS reached the red zone, TD pass to Bell, 0-7. In Q2, Bell rushed for a TD after 2 minutes, 0-14. A 30 yard pass to Ford 4 minute later got a TD for the BR, 7-14.
   The PS kicked a FG with 4 minutes left, 7-17. Collins barged 37 yards down the sideline to the PS 30 and went in for a TD with 2 minutes to half time, 14-17. The Steelers kicked a FG just before the half, 14-20.
   The BR kicked a 47 yard FG after 5 minutes of Q3, 17-20. Collins charged 17 yards to the PS 1 and Allen finished the drive with a TD, 24-20. Another BR TD in the 13th minute put them 31-20 ahead.
   The Steelers kicked a FG, 31-23. Shudda bin DPI in the BR end zone. Brown reached the BR 10 with 10 minutes to go, TD pass to Nix, no +2, 31-29. The Ravens piled on a TD by Allen in the 10th minute, 38-29. A TD for Bell in the 12th minute reduced the gap to 38-36.
   Brown got the Steelers to FG range with a minute left and R'berger was over 500 yards passing! A 46 yard FG put the Steelers 38-39 ahead. A sack and a fumble out of bounds by Flacco left the Ravens not ready to play when the clock started to tick off the final 6 seconds. A tough win for the Steelers.
Murder, She Wrote [Mourning Among The Wisterias, 19:00, ITV3] Mrs. F. was dahn saaf, hanging out with a clapped out playwright with a bad wig and an actress, who thought she was still a teenager. Eugene had written a new play and he wanted to marry Jessica to upset his grasping son and Crystal, the daughter-in-law! He was dying and he also wanted Jessica to oversee the play.
   Shots in the night and Eugene was found holding a gun in the bedroom at the mansion where his lawyer, who had been swindling him rotten for decades, was dead. The cop was Odo from Star Trek DS 9 in a white suit. His family used to own the mansion. Eugene kept collapsing but wouldn't go to hospital. Jessica realized the shots everyone heard were fired outside and came up with a goose-down comforter used as a silencer for the murder. She used marrying Eugene as a tactic for smoking out Crystal. The motive? Plain old greed.
SWAT: Firefight (2011) [21:00, Sony] An LA SWAT guy is bumped off to Detroit to train the team there. Cutler winds up the locals right away with a fake bomb threat. The local SWAT boss won't give up his command; he needs to be brow-beated a bit. SWAT gets on-the-the job training. On the first job, a woman kills herself when the cops won't kill the guy who was stalking her. Cutler is appalled when the local stooges let Walter the weirdo go on $1M bail.
   Cutler takes the lady psychologist to dinner then bed. Walter puts a bomb in his car but Cutler spots it. He refused to leave town. Walter joins in a siege at a large store but just gets the BGs killed. Surprise! He's a government asset/asshole, and he has protection. But he kills his two handlers and goes off and kidnaps the psychologist.
   The SWAT boss has another try at sending Cutler back to LA. His who team threatens to quit. The nutter kills more cops. But Cutler saves the psychologist and she helps Cutler to blow Walter to hell with his own bomb.

[Tuesday, 12th] MNF replay: the Patriots in Miami [16:00, Sky Sports] The Dolphins made a 4th & 1 easily in their opener, but too much D, FG, 0-3. A pick by Howard set up a MD scoring drive; FG though, 0-6.
   In Q2, dodgy DPI got Armstrong Athletic to the MD 3. TD after 9 minutes, 7-6. The MD were in the NE end zone a minute or so later but done for holding. Cutler avoided a sack athletically and set up a TD on the next play, 7-13. AA kicked a FG in the last seconds of the half for 10-13.
   In Q3, a sack on Brady was followed by a pick by Howard on the next play. The turnover gave Grant a TD, 10-20 after 4 minutes. A TD for Landry after 10 minutes put Miami 10-27 up.
   The Armstrongs scored a TD a couple of minutes into Q4, 17-27. They reached the MIA goal line in the 14th minute, back 5 on procedure, holding, a sack, FG, 20-27. 53 seconds left. An on-side kick try dribbled less than 10 yards and the Dolphins fielded it to seal their first win of the season.
Murder, She Wrote [Murder Through The Looking Glass, 19:00, ITV3] There was a mob-style hit on a guy who turned out to be the boss of a bunch of US spies. The hit man had a heart attack while driving away and Mrs. F. got to hear his confession instead of an obviously bogus priest. The cop didn't want to believe the story about a hit man with a conscience.
   At the dead guy's home, the wife said he was still alive and Jessica spotted the huge one-way mirror in the bedroom. The occupants eventually had to admit they were a DSS safe house. There was some South American crook there, waiting for his change to have a revolution.
   The fake priest said he was DSS internal affairs, looking for who betrayed Adams, the head of the unit. He wanted jessica to be his spy! Delgado was killed at the (un)safe house. Jessica linked the two killings and outed the killer, who did it just for the money.

[Wednesday, 13th] Murder, She Wrote [A Very Good Year For Murder, 19:00, ITV3] Mrs. F. was at a vineyard for the founder's 75th birthday bash. The Mob was after the vineyard and the son, Marco, had a wife who'd rather be in San Francisco. The grandchildren were disasters. Someone set a booby trap for the old man but it bagged Tony, who'd signed a cheque for $50,000, which he didn't have.
   Ben, the granddaughter's escort, was found poisoned in the wine cellar. Inside job, the police chief decided. Gulp! Dead Ray was a hit man for the Mob!! The old man told Jessica to go home and stop investigating. Was Steve, the football player, the target?
   Jessica knew that the old man was the target; and he took out the killer! But he thought his death would bring the family together, so he swigged poisoned wine in front of Jessica and collapsed. But the old dope wasn't allowed to croak. And he was allowed to get away with his murder.
Imitation Mythbusters [20:00, Discovery] 1. Killer Carp: would a water skier bombarded with a 2lb leaping Asian carp face death? The guys calculated that a carp leaping at 10 mph would hit a skier going at 25 mph. They made plastic fish and a flinger, which was a shambles. An air-cannon would have been a better option and they eventually went for that solution.
   2. Rock 'n' Roll Road Rage: does listening to aggressive music make a driver aggressive? Aggressive music does rev up the body. Three calm, one moderate and one high frustration driver were sent round a course with obstacles. The music had little effect on the low frustration personalities but some effect on the other two. Myth Plausible.
   Using 35 psi in the air cannon blasted the plastic fish at 35 mph. Buster 2 was almost decapitated! Neck broken, Myth Confirmed. What about a 5lb carp? Buster 2 ended up even deader.
Knight Rider [Chariot of Gold, 22:00, Forces TV] Mike had to rescue a poisoned academic from a dig. Bonnie, not Devon, was invited to join the brainy Helios Foundation. Someone was killing off the members; like the academic, who was polished off in hospital. The BGs were plotting to separate Michael from Kitt; they needed Bonnie to reprogram the car.
   Mike found out that the dig had been salted with fake pots. He sneaked into Helios by night and found that Bonnie failed the test. The people at Helios were survivalist nuts with an underground city, and they planned to use Kitt to steal some Aztec gold, which they would 'find' at the dig.
    Kitt was told to kill Michael. Like that would happen! And Mike got to splat the HBG before the cops arrived.

[Thursday, 14th] Murder, She Wrote [Benedict Arnold Slipped Here, 19:00, ITV3] Jessica took Doc Seth along to visit Tilly, the recluse; who was dead as mutton. The local spiv saw a chance to hoover up the house contents and the spiv's brother saw a chance to swindle Benny; who got the house contents in the will. The house itself went to a grand-niece, who was a hippy who had destroyed her ID and a slag.
   The house is much modified and falling down, but Benedict Arnold did stay there with his mistress. The cleaning lady thought there was treasure in the house. A dodgy British guy turned up just before Benny was murdered in the house, probably whilst burgling the joint.
   The Cabbage Cove sheriff was sure that the treasure was involved. Benny's son busted Emily the cleaner in the act of stealing from the family junk shop. But Jessica had her sights set on the British guy. Well, who else? Being British means you're always the BG in the States.
The Librarians & the Dark Secret, [series 4 opener, 20:00, Syfy] Blokes restoring a church organ in Rome found a map and were done in by priests. The Librarians were playing dress-up; Flynn the Librarian was rehearsing tethering to the Guardian, Colonel Eve, when an alarm went off. BGs were collecting the four corner stones of the original library of Alexandria with evil intent.
   Jenkins revealed that Nicole, Flynn's first Guardian, hadn't been killed by an exploding time machine; she'd been in a dungeon under the Library for 500 years and she was mad as hell. The BGs were the Order of Shadows, who wanted to take the world back to the good old Dark Ages of ignorance.
   The three juniors found one of the stones but the BGs got it from them. Jenkins had to let Nicole out of gaol to find the 4th stone. The BGs turned up but Nicole saved the day when they were on the point of triumphing and was lost in a vortex. But Flynn and the others saved her. Not fancying another 500 years in clink, Nicole legged it.
The Orville [Old Wounds, 21:00, FX] is a space opera featuring an Enterprise-style survey vessel captained by a guy who became screwed up after ditching his cheating wife; who the Admiral has made XO of his ship; take her or forget ever getting another command! [It's a sort of recycling of The Mysteries of Laura]
   The crew consists of weird and screwed-up humans and aliens. The pilot episode sets the tone and shows off the talents and defects of the crew, and makes very inventive use of a time-accelerator and a seed of a hugh grow-anywhere tree. It's funny, it's inventive, it's excruciating, it's great to watch.

[Friday, 15th] TNF: the Broncos @ the Colts [Sky Sports, recroded] The first DB drive was stopped by a pick of a dumb pass by Siemian. The substitute IC QB, Brissett, took his side to a TD, 0-7. The Broncos reached the red zone, they were sacked to a FG and the kicker missed. And Siemian was put out of the match.
   Osweiler came on for the next DB drive in Q2, which included a long injury delay for Williams of the IC. 3 & out for the Broncos. The Colts were held to a FG in the 9th minute, 0-10. The Broncos made a 4th down, lost a TD with a highlight reel hurdle to holding but Osweiler went in for a TD from an 18 yard scramble, 7-10.
   The Colts kicked a FG after 6 minutes of Q3, 7-13. The Broncos went for a 4th down and got holding by the IC! One to a TD pass to Latimer, 14-13. Their next drive ended with a 54-yard TD pass to Hunter, +2, 22-13 in the 13th minute.
   In Q4, the DB marched backwards on penalties, punt? No, a face mask penalty on the Colts gave them a 1st down. Omaha! run the ball and eat clock, and they kicked a FG after 10 minutes, 25-13. The Colts blew up on a 4th down with 4 minutes to go. The Broncos ate all but 27 seconds of it. Game over.
Murder, She Wrote [Just Another Fish Story, 19:00, ITV3] Jessica was thinking of investing in Alice's Farm (not Restaurant), where the major domo was a crook. Grady was about to get engaged. Next thing you know, the crook was dead and Grady and his intended were caught up in the investigation when they were supposed to be auditioning for the lady's pushy dad, who fired Grady 5 years before.
   The cop blackmailed the couple into doing his job for him. Mrs. F. ate the murder weapon!! And she had to do the cop's thinking. She found that Donna wanted to be a housewife even though her pushy dad wanted her to have a job. She followed the trail of stolen lobster to another eatery.
   Donna dumped Grady! Wise move. Dead Chas' partner in theft was busted and Donna was the killer! But she got away with pleading self-defence when she caught Chas thieving. And the engagement was back on.
The Coroner [Dirty Dancing, 21:00, Alibi] A woman drops dead in the street just before a dance event featuring Cubans. The brother doesn't want a post mortem. Mainly because she's a drug mule and he ain't her bro! The coroner is dragged to the event by her appalling family and gets chummy with the bloke who'll become a prime suspect.
   Coroner Jane is saddled with a bozo cop – an Agent Booth to her Bones! The cop is as good as the sheriff of Cabbage Cove at arresting the wrong person and a Booth-like bully. Just as well that he has Coroner Jane as a Mrs. Fletcher or Jane Marple.

[Saturday, 16th] Saturday Nite Football 1: the Bears @ the Lions [21:00, Sky Sports] Oma-haa! The Lions kicked a FG after 3 minutes. Their next drive ended in a punt after a sack by Houston but they were in the red zone as Q1 ran out and kicked a FG to start Q2, 0-6.
   Stafford delivered a 60 yard pass while scrambling and Jones made an amazing catch at the CB 12. Jones took a TD pass, 0-13. Could the Bears manage points in the last couple of minutes of the half? Nope, not on this drive. But the Lions fumbled the ball away and the Bears kicked a FG, 3-13.
   A pick by Slay stopped the CB after 50 seconds of Q3. The Lions went on to a TD for Ebron, 3-20. Lots of defence. The CB finished the quarter at the DL 8 but Diggs picked them off in the end zone in Q4.
   The Lions were sacked out of scoring range. The Bears started at their 1 after 3 penalties, got out of gaol to the 21 on the next play. Flag after flag on the Bears, they came up a yard short on 4th & 6 at the DL 19 but a penalty on the Lions kept them going to a TD for Cunningham. 10-20. 2½ minutes to go.
   Stafford was crunched 3 & out. Another pick, by Clay, stopped the Bears with under 30 seconds to go. The end.

[Sunday, 17th] SaturdayNF 2: the Chargers in KC [late o'clock, SS] The Bolts were sacked to a punt. KC were 3 & gone. The Bolts had to punt again, the catch was botched, the Bolts botched a recovery chance and KC were at their 5. Smith was sacked back to midfield when things looked like they were going well, 3rd & 21, 4th & 3 was made to the LAC 14, FG in the end to close Q1.
   A sack by Jones made the Bolts punt in the 7th minute. Smith made a 64 yard TD pass to Hill, 0-10. The Bolts reached the KC 5, TD for Gordon but the PAT missed, 6-10 with time enough left for KC to miss a 52 yard FG try.
   KC punted in Q3. Rivers to Gordon, 49 yards to the KC 40, TD for Gates, 13-10. KC replied with a TD drive (Hunt), 13-17. Williams blew his route and a pick by Peters to the LAC 6 ended Rivers' long streak without one. FG, 13-20.
   The Bolts fumbled the ball away in Q4. The Chiefs kicked a 51 yard FG, 13-23 with 11 minutes left. The LAC went for a 4th down; pick by Parker and another KC TD with 4 minutes left (Hunt), 13-30 and there was no way back for the Bolts.
Sunday NF 1 was the Packers in Carolina [18:03, Sky Sports] with Rodgers back. Three-nineteen, hut! Punt. The Panthers drove, mainly via McCaffrey, to a TD, 0-7. The Packers got level at the end of Q1. The Panthers added a FG in Q2 for 7-10. The Pack were stopped by a pick. But a TF for Cobb against a blown coverage put them 14-10 up at half time.
   Sadly, it didn't last. Lots of inept defence by the Pack, Rodgers and his receivers no in synch. The Panthers went 14-24 up after a dodgy decision to give them another TD, Rodgers continued to throw interceptions but it was 17-24 at the start of Q4; close but just an illusion.
   Another TD for the Panthers, Rodgers was sacked some more. Rodgers the tight end scored a TD for 24-31 with 2:34 to go. The Pack recovered a short kick off but fumbled the ball away, which was the message of the night. Not playoff contenders right now.
Next up, Armstrong Athletic in Pittsburgh, where they have a history of doing well and it was chucking it down with rain. It was 7-all after the first quarter. Brown was dinged out of the match in Q2, a major loss for the Steelers. After an exchange of FGs, the Steelers ate a lot of clock and went in at half time 10-17 up.
   The Armstrongs scored a TD in Q3 but the PAT missed, 16-17. The Steelers made it 16-24. and ate a lot of clock in Q4. NE kicked a FG, sent the Steelers 3 & out and sprinted to a TD. The Steelers shudda put the match away at the start of the drive with a pick, but failed. +2 for AA, 27-24.
   Houston went 69 yards to the NE 10. 34 seconds left. Did James get a TD on the next play? Ruled an incomplete pass. Boooo! Instead of kicking a FG and regrouping, the Steelers went for a TD and were picked in the end zone. Tipped pass. Boooo!

[Monday, 18th] SNF 3: the Cowboys @ the Raiders [recroded, SS] The Cowboys kicked a FG after 10 minutes and they were at 'and goal' to start Q2. Three goes for a TD, 10-0. The Raiders lost a TD to OPI with 10 seconds to go, a FG went over the upright for nowt.
   Carr made a 32 yard scramble in Q3, Lynch up close, TD for Crabtree, 10-7. A pick-6 by Smith after 8 minutes? Down by contact at the DC 22 but Oakland ball, FG, 10-all. The DC got 24 yards from a fake punt play on 4th & 11, TD for Prescott in the last minute of the quarter, 17-10.
   Carr to Crabtree in the 5th minute, 17-all. The Cowboys got some dodgy spots, held to a FG, 20-17 with 1:48 to go. The Raiders reached the DC 14 on DPI. Carr tried to dive for the pylon, lost the ball and fumbled through the end zone for a touchback. The Raiders had done a Steelers.
Murder, She Wrote [Showdown In Saskatchewan, 19:00, ITV3] Jessica was at a rodeo in Canada to support her niece, Jill, who had a boyfriend, Marty, that mother Louise did not approve of. There were some real drunken assos at the rodeo, including the doctor. He was smoked in a fire in his trailer. His patient with a broken leg, Luke, Marty's trainer, survived. The Mountie was a big JB Fletcher fan.
   Shock, horror! Marty had a wife and kid! Booth, his rival, was dinged saving Marty in the ring so Marty let him be Top Cowboy and get the big prize. Luke was cut up about that, so Jessica decided to frame him for murdering the doc.
First Blood (1982) [21:00, ITV 4] It's been a while since I last watched this Sylvester Stallone vehicle based on an excellent novel by David Morrell. It's well worth revisiting the first of a series, which descended into machinegun mayhem on a major scale later on. This first episode makes an effort to remain within the bounds of credibility. Well, until the last half-hour.

[Tuesday, 19th] MNF: the Falcons in Tampa Bay [recroded SS] Both teams were 3 & gone. The next AF drive went to a TD for Hardy against a blitz, 7-0. The Bucs had only 10 men on the field. The Bucs toughed downfield in response, TD for Howard against a blown coverage, 7-all with 2 minutes to go.
   Lots of Freeman and he scored a TD in Q2, 14-7. TB overcame a dreadful OPI call but fumbled the ball away at the AF 5 in the 9th minute. More wrecking ball stuff from Freeman, 57 yard FG by Bryant, 17-7.
   TB started Q3 at their 45 after a good kick off return but OPI, false start, sacked 3 & out. A TD for Evans in the 7th minute, 17-14. TB blocked an AF FG try in the 13th minute. Freeman dashed through the TB defence for a TD after 7 minutes of Q4, 24-14.
   A TD for Humphreys with 4 minutes to go got TB to 24-21. The Falcons punted with over a minute left. 54 yard FG try by TB was wide right as time expired.
Murder, She Wrote [Deadpan, 19:00, ITV3] Jessica ran up against gangs of pseuds in the theatre world. The TV guy trashed the play in his review, a newspaper guy raved about it. The TV guy was busted holding a gun over the corpse of the newspaper guy, whose life he had threatened. The cop and the TV guy both told Mrs. F. to butt out. Walter, the playwright, begged her to stay and make the play work.
   The newspaper review, sent from the guy's home from his computer, was a fake.by the killer, Mrs. F. decided. Who was she going to frame to save the obnoxious TV guy's ass from a miscarriage of justice? Walter was the only one without an alibi and the stoopid cop targetted him for harassment. So Mrs. F. came up with a better frame for the TV pseud.
Rambo: First Blood, Part II (1985) [21:00, ITV 4] Screenplay by Sylvester Stallone (oh) and James Cameron (well, some credibility) Having watched the first episode, and there's nothing much in the way of competition elsewhere, why not? Rambo is sent to 'Nam to photograph prisoner camps and told not to engage the enemy. Fat chance! Bad start to the mission and the contact is a woman.
   The supposedly empty camp still contains a handful of prisoners. The stinking burrocrat who's trying to cover his ass does the dirty on our hero. Bad move. Dumbass Russians rough him up. Bad move. His contact is killed; first blood has been shed so Rambo can rampage.
   The NVA takes a beating from the chopper Rambo steals from the Russkies. The Russians in a bigger and better chopper also get seen off after Rambo liberates the prisoners. Sadly, the burrocrat isn't on the death list.
   Will there be a sign at the end of the film saying: "Lots of Commies were killed in the making of this movie"? Nope.
Knight Rider [White Bird, 22:00, Forces TV] The Feds try to stitch up Stevie, who was engaged to Michael Long before he died and became Michael Knight. Her crooked lawyer boss was moving Mob money around. The Foundation tried to put her in a safe house but BGs knew where to find it and Stevie was shot a bit. Gulp! She had arrests for solicitation. Put in the police files by a dirty cop who was working for the Mob.
   Michael confronted the dirty lawyer and went burgling. Stevie helped to wind up the lawyer and BGs came after Kitt with a machinegun. Didn't do them no good. Then Michael went after the lawyer and wrecked his plane a bit as he was trying to escape.

[Wednesday, 20th] Murder, She Wrote [The Body Politic, 19:00, ITV3] Jessica's pal Kathleen was running for office with a dodgy campaign director and her scriptwriter quit. A dodgy TV reporter got a dodgy leak about her. The ancient husband also got the photos. The dodgy campaign manager was croaked and the dozy cop went after Kath.
   Surprise! Kath's Afro-American assistant had defected to the opposition's woodpile. Jessica confronted Kath's husband as Kath abandoned her campaign. He took the compromising photos as reporters digging into his wife's past were getting uncomfortably close to his.
   He was busted for the murder. So that was Kath with no husband as well as no career. What a pal Jessica is!
Imitation Mythbusters vs spy films [20:00, Discovery] Can a fire extinguisher be used as an emergency nail gun. The guys made a mess eliminating water and dry-powder extinguishers. They also had to eliminate the flow regulator from a carbon dioxide extinguisher. Nails went all over the place and getting one to stick in a lump of ballistics gel was down to sheer luck. Putting a 6-foot barrel on the extinguisher was the only way to turn it into a weapon. Myth Busted.
   Can the filament of a light bulb inserted into a shotgun cartridge passed with a plastic bag of nuts & bolts turn a chandelier into a set of fragmentation grenades? A filament can light black powder and set off the shell. But in a full-size test, the floor got a rain of shrapnel and the BGs were undamaged. Myth Busted.
   Will two shotgun shells under a hinged floorboard blow a BG's leg off when trodden on? Stomping rather than treading is needed to set off the detonator. Both shells fired when place under an oak board but the shot didn't go anywhere. What about putting a shotgun under a softer, pine board? The BG's simulated foot was blown to shreds but the Myth was totally Busted.
Big Hair Bloke, Budum, Budum! [Knight Moves, 22:00, Forces TV] Someone was hijacking independent truckers and some guy was trying to buy up their rigs and their services. Kitt was confronted with CB jargon when Mike was sent to New Mexico to recover a stolen trailerload. The bozo sheriff marked his card. Two bozos with clubs tried to do the same to Kitt but failed miserably.
   The guy buying trucks was a phoney. The jackers went after this week's little girl, Tiger Teri. Mike saved her but not the trailer. Things got a bit explosive Devon rolled into town as a big wheel and Teri got to be a target in Kitt's service rig. The BGs were sent off the road a bit, and their boss also got wrecked a bit when he tried to flee.

[Thursday, 21st] Murder, She Wrote [J.B. as in Jailbird, 19:00, ITV3] An Irish BG killed a Bulgarian right in front of Mrs. F. and she was busted for it! The Universe works in mysterious ways indeed! The killer was pretending to be in MI6 and dim nephew Grady was dragged into the conspiracy. The cop was incredibly thick. Some Hispanic from Miami joined in the fun.
   The Irish bogus pretended to be Jessica's lawyer to wind her up in the police cell block. There was a pushy blonde journalist hanging around; another bogus. Some State Dept. guys joined in after someone tried to whack Grady or the Irish bogus. Another bogus put on a police uniform to try to bamboozle Jessica in her cell.
   Everyone was looking for a killer called the Cobra. Luckily for the rest of the series, Jessica managed to outwit him and pin everything on him.
The Librarians and the Xmas Thief [20:00, Syfy] The Bank of Thieves liquidated 2 fakers. Santa parked his sleigh at the Library with a no-touching rule. Jenkins, Flynn and Col. Eve zapped off leaving the Juniors in charge. Jones went home to be laughed at by his family of thieves. He took his Aussie foster mom to the Library to show off. She stole the secret magic door to everywhere.
   Mom went on a mega-seasonal theft-fest. The Juniors had to use the sleigh to chase her down. Mom had stolen a Vermeer from the Prince of Thieves at the bank. Jones tried to take it back and his mom got him into max. bother and facing liquidation. But the Prince was bamboozled to infancy by Jenkins.
The Orville [Command Performance, 21:00, FX] One of the alien officers was about to lay an egg and needed to sit on it for 21 days. A cargo ship carrying the Captain's embarrassing parents was attacked by the Krill. No, it was a trap for the captain and the XO, who were beamed somewhere. The teenage Klingon/Vulcan Lieutenant Alaara was stuck with command of the Orville, which was almost blown to bitz.
   The captain and the XO woke up in their apartment in New York? No, they were exhibits in a zoo in a sector which was off-limits. The admiral of the fleet ordered the teenage captain-by-default to head for home. She couldn't stand being hated by the rest of the crew and went after the prisoners.
   The Taliban were bamboozled and the teenager swapped everyone in the zoo for a stash of files of reality TV episodes. And the egg turned out to be female, which is impossible given that it was produced by a single-sex species.

[Friday, 22nd] Murder, She Wrote [A Little Night Work, 19:00, ITV3] Cpl. Klinger of M*A*S*H wanted to be Mrs. F.'s next agent. A dodgy Denis imposed himself on Jessica at a posh do for political candidates. He was there to nick some diamonds. A waiter wanted Mrs. F. to fettle up his book. A lady insurance claims investigator was on Denis' trail. She offered Jessica 50 grand to get Denis to cough up the diamonds. The cop busted the waiter because dead Weingard stole the kid's SF novel.
   Jessica discovered that the kid stole his plot from a Dostoyevskiy novel! Denis told her that he targetted only clients of an insurance company which swindled him, and he didn't steal the necklace or kill Weinbaum. He legged it when he realized that Jessica was bugged. But he was busted at the bus station with his contact and the necklace. The contact was the killer!

[Saturday, 23rd] NFL Saturday 1: the Colts @ the Ravens [21:00, Sky Sports] 65 deg.F in Baltimore, it has been raining, it wasn't raining when the match started but more rain was expected.
    The Colts started and went 3 & gone. The Ravens went for 4th & 1 and advanced to the IC 18, they were stopped and they kicked a FG, 0-3. The Colts got close in the 13th minute but their FG try was blocked.
   The next BR drive produced a TD in Q2; 0-10 in the 3rd minute. Gore made a dive for the end zone going the other way, 7-10 midway through Q2. The Colts sackd Flacco for a big loss but failed to keep the BR out of FG range, 7-13 after the 2MW. A 60 yard FG try by Vinatieri for the Colts at the end of the half was just short.
   The Ravens got to the red zone in Q3 but just a FG, 7-16, and it was raining. The Colts replied in kind, 10-16. Gore and Mack battered through the BR defence but the Colts were sacked to a FG, which bounced through off the upright, 13-16.
   The Ravens were back in the red zone in Q4 for an easy TD pass, 13-23. The Colts made 4th & 1 with 8 minutes to go, the BR dropped an easy pick but the Colts were held to a FG, 16-23, 4:33 to go. The Ravens had a punt blocked at their 27, the Colts suffered a sack on 3rd down, and went out on downs trying for a TD. The End.

[Sunday, 24th] NFL Saturday 2: the Vikings in Green Bay [early o'clock, SS] GB lost one of their linemen, carted off, after the first play. Story of the season. Hundley was performing instead of Rodgers as GB are out of the play-offs. The Vikings kicked a FG in the 7th minute of Q1 and Diggs got them a TD in the last minute after bogus DPI on the Pack, 10-0.
   Lots of defence in Q2. GB got a sack and Hundley did some running. But GB were stopped by a pick as they were getting dangerous. At half-time, were the comms really saying it was 59 degrees below zero in the morning?
   More defence in Q3, Hundley did more running but GB at no risk of scoring. The Vikings kicked another FG for 13-0. GB went out on downs again in Q4 trying to get somewhere. The Vikings kicked another FG with 3 minutes to go for 16-0 and a pick just before the 2MW marked the effective end of the mis-match.
NFL Sunday 1: the Falcons in New Orleans [18:03, Sky Sports] The AF were stopped. NO managed a FG, 0-3. Would the Falcons punt, as the comms wanted? They faffed around, they made 4th & 1 but collected a penalty and punted. NO sacked to a punt in the last minute of Q1.
   Penalties left the AF with 1st & 40 in Q2! Sack, punt. NO struggled to another FG, 0-6 in the 13th minute. Atlanta's luck got worse. A tipped pass landed on a NO defender and they got an interception! 50 seconds left but the next play was a 54 yard TD pass to Ginn, 0-13.
   The Saints started Q3 with a 49 yard kick off return by Kamara but a tipped pass was intercepted by Jones to the NO 2. No harm done, the Falcons fumbled the ball away. NO went 3 & out. They got away with DPI in the next AF drive, which ended with a FG, 3-13. The next score was a 20 yard sprint to the AF end zone by Ingram after 12 minutes, 3-20. Jones took a pass 44 yards. Did he score a TD at the end of Q3?
   Just short was the ruling in Q4. So was Freeman on 4th & inches. The Falcons doubled their tally with a FG with 10 minutes to go, 6-20. Lots of defence. NO kicked a FG in the 12th minute for 6-23. The Falcons managed a TD with 2:40 to go. 13-23 was as close as they got.
Next, the Jags in San Franciso. A 1-yard TD for Garoppolo and a FG left SF 0-10 up after Q1. The Jags were mauled in Q2 and a pick-6 put them 0-16 behind. The PAT was blocked and returned for 2 by JX!! A pass by Bortles was ruled a fumble by the bozos in zebra outfits but corrected by a challenge and the Jags went on to a TD, 9-16. SF reached JX territory quickly but a pick stopped them. The Jags got close and Strong collected a pass tipped by the intended receiver for a TD, 16-all.
   The Jags went ahead with a FG after 4 minutes of Q3, 19-16. Then it was mostly down-hill with the Jags giving up tons of penalties. A one-handed pick by Williams set up a TD for SF, 19-23. The Jags were swindled out of a fumble recovery in Q4 and SF scored a TD, 19-30 in the 4th minute.
   Bortles threw another pick, another SF TD, 19-37.JX fumbled the ball away, another SF TD? Ruled incomplete and SF lost a challenge. JX managed a TD +2 with 2:17 to go, 27-37. They recovered an on-side kick!! and went on to a TD, but the PAT hit the upright, 33-37. SF got the ball from the kick off and went on to a TD. Good night. 33-44 final. Jacksonville have won their division but they're just No. 3 seed.

[Monday, 25th] Night @ the Museum: Secret of the Tomb (2014) [19:05, Film4] Egypt 1938; a kid falls into a tomb and there's a doombugger saying everyone will day if the artefacts are removed, but they end up in New York & London.
   Night at the NY Museum of Natural History on the night of a big show. But the exhibits go crazy. Is it the tablet of Akhenra? Larry, the night guard, finds that one of his predecessors was the kid who found the tomb. He thinks the magic might stop as there's something wrong with the tablet.
   Larry takes it to London. His kid, who doesn't want to go to college, goes with him. Larry and his gang battle through perils to get the tablet fixed by the pharaoh.
   Larry isn't helped by the large and crazy English lady guard with a hammer. Lancelot runs riot at a performance of Camelot. Surprise! Larry saves the day. The tablet has to stay in London, which means that the exhibits in New York will no longer come to life at night and the ones in the charge of the sturdy lady security guard at the British Museum will.
MNF Football 1: the Steelers in Houston [21:30, Sky Sports] The Steelers opened with a FG. TX sacked 3 & out. The Steelers reached the TX 5, TD for Hunter, 10-0 after 8 minutes. The Steelers were challenged to a punt to start Q2.
   Blue made a big dash through Swiss cheese to the PS 18, to the 1, Blue almost in, 3rd down pass bogged and a pick for a PS touchback on 4th down. The PS got close thanks to end zone DPI, TD for Nix, 17-0. The Steelers added a FG with 3 minutes to half time, 20-0.
   Lots of defence to start Q3. A TD or Bell put the Steelers 27-0 up. A big dash by Hopkins, waving the ball around!, got the Texans close for only the second time, Hopkins made a one-handed TD catch of the year and the PAT was blocked. But the Steelers were offside, but a try for 2 points flopped, 27-6.
   A big gain for Schuster, who was wide open later in the drive for a TD pass, 34-6 in the 6th minute. And that was the end of the scoring.

[Tuesday, 26th] MNF 2: the Raiders in Philadelphia, where it feels like 12 degF. [late o'clock, SS] The Eagles went 3 & out but their next drive produced a TD. The Raiders levelled things at 7-all in the 3rd minute of Q2; Cooper wide open with no Eagles in the picture as he crossed the line. He lost a 45 yard pass inside the PE 5 to holding and the Raiders didn't have a 3rd & 28 play after more penalties. The Eagles missed a 33 yard FG in the last few seconds of the half.
   The Raiders rushed to FG range in Q3, 10-7 after 4 minutes. The PE made an interception in the 11th minute but fumbled the ball back to the Raiders. But Lynch fumbled it away on the next play! A FG for the Eagles in the 13th minute made it 10-all.
   The Raiders missed a FG after 7 minutes: too much wind for kicking or throwing, said the comms. The OR got the ball back with an inteception but fumbled it away again. Lots more defence then a pick by the PE with 46 seconds to go. That produced a FG with 22 seconds left, 10-13.
   Nothing from the Raiders but the PE defence intercepted a lateral for a TD during the last play and took a knee rather than kick the extra point, 10-19 final.
Sherlock Holmes (2009) [21:00, Film 4] SH is at a loose end having caught a crazed black magic killer, who murdered 5 women. The crazed Lord Blackwood is hanged. Someone hires Irene Adler to wind up SH. Lestrade thinks Blackwood has been resurrected! The body in the grave isn't his. SH is busy trying to prevent Watson from marrying Mary and deserting him.
   SH and an 8-foot French BG wreck a boat yard. A secret society of magicians contacts SH. Blackwood is too powerful for them to handle. The Home Sec. is one of them. He's murdered and Adler outsmarts SH again. Blackwood wants to head the Order and rule the world. Adler is nearly bisected.
   SH, Watson and Adler are blown up a bit and SH is made public enemy No. 1 by the Home Sec. Blackwood is planning mass murder at Parliament. Foiled, then there is some pratting about on Tower Bridge, which is under construction, and Blackwood ends up being hanged with no trickery.
Knight Rider [Nobody Does It Better, 22:00, Forces TV] Michael tries to break in to a computer softward company to prove that their security is good and thefts have to be an inside job. He tangles with an annoying little girl; a PI who thinks his suspect is having an affair.
   In fact, the 'other woman' is collecting secrets from the suspect; and she's done in. The lady spy has a tough guy, who needs to be taken care off. Surprise! The guy who brought the Foundation in is the BG? He found out that he was going to get the boot and he was arranging a private pay-off for himself.

[Wednesday, 27th] The Persuaders [The Man in the Middle, 20:00, True Entertainment] Everyone thinks Lord Sinclair is leaking info to the Russians and a nice lady from British Intelligence is trying to stop the leak. Worse, the scrounger cousin Archie joins in. When Agent Kay is captured, swapping Archie for her sounds like a good idea to Danny and Brett. Bluffing the Russians is con-man Archie's greatest challenge.
Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows (2011) [21:00, Film 4] It's 1891, war is in the air and someone is letting off bombs. Not anarchists, it's Moriarty, SH thinks. Watson is about to marry Mary. He gets a look at the spider's web of Moriarty's activities, which SH has created in his old room. Mycroft pokes his nose into the stag do. SH rescues Madame Sin, the fortune teller, from a Cossak. Her brother is about to do something terminal. Moriarty invited SH to a confrontation at his place of work.
   The married Watsons have to throw an assassin off their train. SH does the same to Mary to save her life and Mycroft fishes her out of a river. Mucho murder on the train then it's off to Paris for hedgehog with Madame Sin. Her brother is Moriarty's bomber. He blows up the head of an arms factory, giving control to Moriarty.
   SH is taken prisoner. He knows that Moriarty is planning a world war. SH's escape triggers a minor local war. Watson has to reboot SH, who thinks that Moriarty's next move will be an assassination to start his war. Moriarty has replaced one of the people at the peace conference with a surgical look-alike.
   The failed killer is killed. Moriarty tells SH that he has killed Irene Adler. SH improvises their final struggle instead of letting it play out logically and takes both of them on a death plunge? [not at Reichenbach] SH is still alive and up to his tricks at Baker Street at the end.
Knight Rider [Short Notice, 22:00, Forces TV] A kid is kidnapped. Michael is there to give the mother a lift when she's hitching to LA. They stop at a motel, Nicole does a runner and Mike is charged with murder after an armed intruder ends up dead. Nicole's husband is a notorious biker gang boss. Mike has to track down Nicole and get her daughter back in return for her testimony in his favour.
   Nicole has blackmail film. Michael goes to the husband to swap it for the daughter but Nicole does the dirty on him and grabs the kid. So Michael has to kidnap Nicole and have a punch-up with her husband before he can get off the hook for murder.

[Thursday, 28th] The Librarians and the Silver Screen [20:00, Syfy] Colonel Eve dragged Flynn to an old B&W film. They were beamed out of the audience and into the film! Cassandra blamed ley lines. Their only way out was to act out the film's plot; which they didn't know. Jenkins and the Juniors had to find a way to communicate with them.
   The Juniors went through the magic doorway and found themselves in the wrong film; but at least they were in colour. And again. Our heroes reunited a mother with her daughter, and they all got home thanks to supercharged ley lines.
The Orville [About A Girl, 21:00, FX] The second officer, from an all-male species, wanted the doctor to make his newly hatched girl baby into a male. She refused. The captain was dragged out of a game of cowboys in the rumpus room and he also said no to the idea. So the Second went over his head and the Orville was given a military escort to a tribunal on the Planet of the Lumps.
   Various attempts were made to persuade the Second and his mate that girls are people too. The Second's mate admitted that he was born female and had the operation. The crew of Orville even tracked down a female, who was living in a cave on the Second's homeworld. But to no avail. The baby got the operation on her/his homeworld.

[Friday, 29th] The Persuaders! [A Home of One's One, 20:00, True Entertainment] A sneaky nocturnal spy; a cop; is done in by blokes in black magic robes. Danny has bought a country shack. It's a wreck and the locals are stroppy. A local landowner tries to bully Danny into selling the place; mainly because it's where a gang of smugglers are keeping their goods.
   Brett tries to get pally with a Lucy; who turned out to be a DI with the Fraud Squad who's after forged $100 bills. The BGs turn nasterier but they're sorted out. Danny renovates Greenback Cottage, but the place collapses about his ears when he tries knock in a nail to hang up a framed quartet of hooky greenbacks.

[Saturday, 30th] The A Team [Deadly Maneuvers, 17:00, Spike] A bunch of bested bad guys hired the best mercenary money can buy to take out the A Team. A pretty face in a flash car and a doggie did for Peck & Murdoch. Hannibal and BA got poisoned milk from a delivery guy with a flash gold watch. He posed as a doctor when Hannibal tried to get BA treated but Hannibal spotted the watch.
   Hannibal phoned the team's friendly journalist for help. Connie brought Dr. Maggie to fix Hannibal. He poked his nose into the lion's den and extracted the others. Kyle the mercenary responded to a 'come and get us' challenge. What a dope!
The A Team [Friendly Persuasion, 18:00, Spike] A bunch of weird religious fanatics were trying to build a meeting house and the local bigots, led by Mr. Sikes, wanted them gone. Non-violence was the order of the day for the fanatics. Hannibal had to tell their Pastor to stop being such a coward and stand up for what he believed in.
   The BGs did some kidnapping and burnt down the partially constructed meeting house again; with Murdoch, BA and a kid inside. The wimpy Pastor was all for giving up and fired the A Team, which let them take the gloves off. Which was tough for Sikes and his gang. At the end, Hannibal put the bigot of a Pastor in his place.
The A Team [Curtain Call, 19:00, Spike] Dekker closed in on the A Team and Murdoch was shot. The gang was bottled up. Face worked a scam to get a temporary refuge. Jounalist Tanya joined in. Cue lots of flash-backs to previous episodes. Dekker put a guard on the medical supplies at the ranger station.
   Face stole the supplies but the box had a tracker in it. Hannibal did some doctoring in an abandoned mine then Dekker turned up. He thought he had won but the A Team scammed him yet again and got away.
Sphere (1998) [20:00, Syfy] A team of salvage experts is told a plane has crashed and there's a fleet at the crash site in the ocean. But there's a huge spacecraft on the ocean bed! The team has to find out if there are any live aliens. The interior of the spacecraft is dry and has a breathable atmosphere. It turns out to be a 300-year-old American spaceship!
   There's a murdered man aboard and the log contains a warning of an unknown event. The ship collected a big, gold sphere in space and brought it back to Earth. A Trojan Horse? Is that one of the team inside the sphere? Naturally, a storm cuts off communication with the surface. Lots of freak-out episodes among the trapped expedition.
   An alien called Jeri starts talking to the team using the ship's computer. There's something outside the ship and there are eggs everywhere. The thing starts battering the spaceship, causing all sorts of chaos inside, including a fire, which kills Ted. Norman, the shrink, warns Jeri to stop messing about before it kills everyone.
   Surprise! Harry is Jeri when he dreams because he went inside the sphere, Norman concludes. Beth thinks it's Norman doing the manifesting but fails to kill him. That's what happened to the original crew: they went into the sphere and they went crazy and killed one another.
   The spaceship is going to blow up. Everyone out! That's Jeri's hash settled. The survivors end up in a decompression chamber. Norman, Harry and Beth have to work out why they are still alive and if they can still manifest stuff. They can and they join forces to blast the golden sphere out into space.

[Sunday, 31st] SNF 1: the Jets @ the Patriots [18:03, Sky Sports] It was cold; -2 deg.F windchill! The Armstrongs' opener went to a TD in the 6th minute. The 2nd NJJ drive zoomed to FG range, stalled and a FG was all they got, 3-7. Another FG try in Q2 missed. DPI helped NE to the red zone and another TD, 3-14. The Jets were sacked to a punt with 2 minutes to half time. Another TD for NE, 3-21.
   Lots of defence in Q3. NE kicked a FG in the 14th minute, 3-24. The Jets managed another FG in the 5th minute of Q4, 6-24. The Jets were pinned deep and gave up a safety via a NE sack with 6 minutes left. 6-26 and that was how the massacre finished.
SNF 2: the Panthers in Atlanta [21:26, Sky Sports] The Falcons took their opener to a TD and then the defences closed up. Finally, the Panthers reached the red zone in Q2, made 4th & 1 at the 2MW, were sacked back to the 31, made 3rd & 25 to the AF 4 and a TD made it 7-all in the last minute of the half. The Falcons scrambled to get a FG try but they ended up 1 second short.
   After making the Panthers punt, the Falcons reached the red zone. TD for Sanu? Nope, the ball hit the ground, FG, 7-10. The 2nd CP play was picked by Allen at the CP 39, FG, 7-13. The Falcons started Q4 just short of the red zone, another FG, 7-16.
   Funchess took a 44 yard pass to the AF 28, FG, 10-16 in the 5th minute of Q4. The Falcons were sacked to . . . a successful 56 yard FG try, 10-19. Time evaporated. The Falcons punted with 4:20 left. Newton's first play was tipped for a pick, FG, 10-22, 2:27 left.
   A sack didn't help the CP cause. An interception in the AF end zone sank it. But no matter. Both teams are in the post-season.
A bit of Red Zone to conclude: In Baltimore, the Ravens were 24-27 up against the Bengals and in the play-offs at the expense of the Bills. The Bengals scored a 4th down TD instead of kicking a FG for 31-27, and sent the Ravens out on downs. Which means that the Buffalo Bills are in the playoffs for the first time since 1999!! Instead of the Ravens.

Well, that's it from me. I'm now going into retirement, leaving behind a fair catalogue of what was on TV for the last 18 years.
I'd say, "So long, and thanks for all the fish." But there weren't any!