[Saturday, 01st] CFL live: the Esks in Winnipeg [01:30, BTS2] 3 punts then Bang! a 49 yard TD pass to Dressler. 0-7. A long Esks drive went to a TD on the ground for White. 7-all. The Esks went ahead with a FG in Q2. 10-7. Willis gave up 25 penalty yards, Dressler fumbled the ball away and the Esks recovered it at their 2; punt.
   A BB TD lost to a penalty and they ended up with a FG. 10-all, 6 minutes to go. A 30 yard pass to White, Reilly to Bowman for a TD, 17-10. Some punting. A dodgy PI call on the BB got the Esks close, TD for White, 24-10. The BB had under a minute to set up a 58 yard FG try for Medlock; missed.
   In Q3, a fumble by Walker was recovered by Leggett and that gave the BB a FG. 24-13. Lots of defence. The BB were pinned deep and gave up a safety. 26-13. Q4 started with the Esks making a 3rd & inches, FG, 29-13. A 33 yard pass to Flanders, a 36 yard TD pass to Denmark, 29-19, no +2 but a rouge from the kick off. 29-20.
   The Esks were sacked to a punt. Swiss cheese D, FG for the Bombers, 29-23. Getzlaf then White carved through BB Swiss cheese, FG, 32-23. Medlock kicked a 54 yarder with 3 minutes left. 32-26. A 61 yard TD pass to Walker. 38-26, +2 for White, 40-26, 1:48 left. The Esks picked Nichols in the final minute, wasted some time, did a punt but kept the ball after a roughing the kicker penalty on the BB, and ran out the clock.
Midsomer Murders [Written in the Stars, 18:00, ITV 3] Murder during a total solar eclipse; some great shots of it. Jeremy won't be crossing any more lines. He's killed on Moonstone Ridge, which is accursed! Mystic Mags of the local paper pretends to have forecast the killing because the circulation needs a bump.
   There's a long-dead Mary and her Indian widower isn't happy that the local astononomical set has pulled in his daughter. Someone steals artefacts from the local museum to use in murders. Is Lawrence about to lose funding for his observatory? The daughter's plumber BF is speared by the nutter.
   Mystic Mags claims another successful prediction. Her husband is done in next. How come she didn't see that coming? The Indian girl thinks Lawrence is killing the amateur astronomers because they've discovered an exoplanet. She's next? DS Jones hurls clumsy cop accusations at Lawrence and he's rebuffed.
   The nutter puts a scorpion in the Indian girl's car; a harmless one. Mystic Mags admits killing Mary by accident and a cover-up by her pals. Barnaby decides the Indian girl's tutor is the mad killer. He wants to claim the discovery of the exoplanet. Barnaby rains on his parade.

[Sunday, 02nd] CFL replay: The Stampeders in Hamilton [07:00, ESPN] Murdered Mylan Hicks of the Calgary roster was remembered. After a 4 minute drive by the Stamps, a TD for Daniels. +2, 8-0. The 2nd TC play was tipped for a pick by the Stamps to the TC 14. A FG fake didn't fool the Cats and the Stamps went out on downs. The next play was a forced fumble returned for a CS TD? Nope, an incomplete pass. The Cats had to give up a safety. 10-0. The next CS drive yielded a FG. The Cats kicked a long one in reply. 13-3.
   Lots of punting in Q2 and the TC did nothing with a pick. A FG for the Cats 11 minutes in. 13-6. A 59 yard pass to Daniels, no +2, 19-6. Maher kicked a 58 yard FG. 19-9 with a minute left. A 44 yarder from Parades in reply. 22-9.
   Masoli came on for the injured Collards in Q3; 2 & out. The Stamps advanced to the TC 1, TD for Messam. 29-9. More punting and the Cats getting desperate. They went out on downs with 4 minutes left in Q4. A pick by Daly set up a walk-in TD for Masoli, +2, 19-17. An on-side kick attempt was recovered by Charbonneau and returned for a CS TD. 36-17. Good night.
Malaysian GP hilites [13:30, Sky Sports F1] Merc, Red Bull and Ferrari on the front 3 rows, Hamilton on pole and off into the distance. Vettel was crashed out at turn 1 of lap 1, VSC and other cars damaged. Grossjean went into the barriers at a corner on lap 9; no brakes. VSC.
   On lap 39/56, Rosberg barged past Raikkonen; nothing for causing a collision. Ricciardo was fighting Verstappen to stay in 2nd place. Hamilton's engine blew up on lap 41; he got the crap car again; and that gifted a 1-2 finish to Red Bull. Rosberg 3rd.
International Match #1, The Colts and the Jags @ Wembley [14:30, BBC 2] What happens if you let the Beeb do the match? No sound for the first 5 mins. First blood to the Jags with a pick in the 5th minute, on to a TD. A long Colts drive ended in a FG. 3-7. The IC receivers had the drops. Another FG for the Colts 6 minutes into Q2. 6-7. The Jags went back to the end zone; Bortles ran one in. 6-14. A penalty-fuelled drive by the Jags ended with a FG by the Jags. 6-17.
   The Jags' opening drive of Q3 ended in a FG, 6-20. The Colts nearly got away with one but a challenge by the Jags forced a punt. Lots of D in Q3 but the Jags managed a 49 yard FG. The Colts powered into their end zone via Gore at the start of Q4, 13-23. They scored another TD 8 minutes in. 20-23.
   Great downfield blocking gave the Jags a 42 yard TD play with 5 minutes left. 20-30. Luck was sacked for the 5th time but fired a TD pass on the next play. 27-30. The Colts blew up on 4th & 1 with 1:36 to go. The Jags blew it and gave the Colts 26 seconds to get into FG range. Not enuf. The Jags win for the first time this season.
Over to Sky for the Raiders in Baltimore [18:03, SS 2] Punting to start. There are some really crap "penalties" being handed out and the Raiders copped for one. But a 47 yard punt return toward the end of the quarter got them to the RB 6, TD Raiders on the next play. 7-0.
   The Ravens were held to a FG 2 minutes in to Q2. Suddenly, the Raiders got going, TD for Crabtree, 14-3, 4 minutes to go. The Ravens reached FG range in the last minute; and that's all they got. 14-6.
   The Raiders continued to harass Flacco in Q3 but the 2nd BR drive produced a 4th & 1 TD for Flacco, no +2, 14-12. The Raiders punted but killed Flacco to get the ball in Q4 at the BR 29. Lots of struggle, TD for Crabtree, 21-12, 11 minutes to go. Some defence then the Raiders went Swiss cheese and gave up a 52 yard TD to Smith Sr. 21-19.
   The Raiders fumbled the ball away and the Ravens added 2 points to a TD for 21-27 with 3:36 left. The Raiders had to eat clock but left 2:23 when Crabtree got a 3rd TD.28-27. Just a FG needed by the Ravens but they went out on downs at midfield. The Raiders win!
On to Tampa Bay, where a pick by Denver led to a TD. 8 minutes gone when we got there, TB about to score a TD via Winston, their new QB. 7-all. Another pick by Denver 2 minutes in to Q2, Talib again. Lots of TB PI in their end zone, Denver got a TD eventually. 14-7. TB were killing themselves with penalties. They were close to scoring when the ball squirted into the air; to Denver, but they did nothing. Lynch came on for Siemian, who was crunched, and the Broncos kicked a FG to close the half. 17-7.
   The Broncos spent 8 minutes of Q3 going to a FG, then lots of defence. Finally, the Broncos found some offence. Was there lighting on the way? Another TD for Denver with 9 minutes to go. 27-7. Then there was a weather alert with 6:52 to go. I baled out then having to get up early for some CFL. Wise decision. The clock stopped at 6:52 for an hour and 26 minutes, and there was no more scoring.

[Monday, 03rd] CFL Replay: The Redblacks in BC [06:00, ESPN] A lengthy RB opening drive involved making 2 x 3rd & 1's and went to a TD for Sinopoli. BC started with a 48 yard play to Arceneaux, TD for Rainey on the next play, no +2, 7-6. A 47 yard pass to Jackson set up a RB FG. 10-6. BC went 2 & out but stripped the ball from the kick return and kicked a FG in Q2. 10-9.
   An exchange of FGs got the sides to 13-12. Almost a TD for Burnham, Lulay came on for a plunge to the end zone, +2, 13-20, 2:41 to go. Bang! A 68 yard TD pass to Williams. 20-all. Gore reached the RB 4, Arceneaux took a TD pass. 20-27 for BC. The RBs kicked a FG to close the half. 23-27.
   Lots of defence to start Q3, then a TD for Madu put the RBs 30-27 ahead. In Q4, BC motored to a TD for Sinkfield, the PAT missed, 30-33. The RBs punted. So did the Lions but the got a rouge for 30-34. 68 yards for Williams to the BC 7, FG, 33-34. BC punted. A bad penalty put the RBs out of FG range. BC punted with 19 seconds left. A pick by Gator and a TD for BC, the PAT missed but 33-40 with 3 seconds left was enough for a Lions' win. 1004 yards of combined offence!
SNF NFL replay: KC in Pittsburgh [13:00, Sky Sports 2] Both sides stalled after a sack but KC fumbled away their next possession, and that gave the Steelers a TD +2 points. Then the Steelers picked a tipped pass when KC started again; another TD after 10 minutes, 0-15. A short KC punt set up a TD for Brown with a minute or so left. 0-22.
   KC lost a punt return for a TD to holding in Q2. R'berger fired his 4th TD pass in the last minute. 0-29. With rain really bucketing down, KC tried a FG in the last seconds; and missed.
   Another TD 4 minutes in to Q3 put the Steelers 0-36 ahead. A 19-play KC drive ended on 4th & goal with another drop in the end zone. Finally, 4 minutes into Q4, KC wriggled out from under a shut-out with a TD. 7-36. The Steelers hit the end zone again, and KC managed a cosmetic TD in the last seconds. 14-43 final.
Eureka [18:00, Pick] The mainframe wasn't responding to the restart code and there was a missile heading for GD. Looked like a drill. Carter walked out of it when he was told he had to carry Fargo down a gazillion stairs. Only 29 dead, B+ from Dr. Doom. He & Carter were in a cold vapour explosion. Fargo went into the computer to find Holly. She's alive!
   The reactor went wonky for a while. Zane thought Holly's mind was in the mainframe when her body died. The 220 m communications tower sank into the ground, along with Carter and his Jeep. Dr. Doom's system shot off another missile. Carter had to take it out. As Carter and Alison were thinking wedding, Fargo had to let Holly know that she was dead. What happens next for her?

[Tuesday, 04th] CFL replay: The Argos in Montreal [00:00, ESPN] Willy was starting for the Argos; the Als looked very drab & dismal in grey. The Argos punted. A huge pass from Cato to Stafford then a TD pass to Giguere, 0-7 in 2 plays! The coaching change at Montreal seems to have worked. The Argos gained a lot of ground but had nothing to show for it. But they started Q2 with a FG. 3-7.
   A 70 yard kick return by Logan but 2 crunchings by the Argos and the Als had to punt. A pick stopped the Argos. Lewis made a highlight reel catch, but out the back of the TA end zone, so a TD pass to Stafford on the next play. 3-14. The Argos managed a FG with 2 minutes to go. 6-14. A bad snap meant that the Als gave up a safety for field position. 8-14. The Argos set up for a 54 yard FG. Then false-started. Twice!
   In Q3, the Als kicked a FG and gave Stafford another TD pass. 8-24. The Argos managed a FG in reply. 11-24. Le coque erp in the editing room: suddenly, were were back at the Als' TD and we got the Argos' drive all over again! Same result. The Als were soon back to the red zone with a TD for Cunningham. 11-31.
   The Argos sacked Cato a 4th time 3 minutes into Q4, one back for the Als. The Argos kept going out on downs, Cato was sacked again, Giguere took another TD pass with 3 and a bit minutes to go, and that was it. An 11-38 home win for the revitalized Alouettes.
MFL replay: the Giants @ the Vikings [13:00, SS 2] The Giants punted. The Vikings went 3 & out, punted and mugged the return man for the ball. PI in the end zone, Charge! for a TD. 0-7. Another TD for the Viks 7 minutes into Q2. 0-14. The boy Beckham got a public warning. The Giants scrambled for a FG at the end of the half. 3-14.
   The Viks missed a FG 4 minutes into Q3. They stopped the Giants with a pick and kicked a FG half-way through. 3-17. Q4 started with a monster screen pass play by the giants to the MV 3, PI in the end zone, TD. 10-17. A walk-in TD put the Vikings 10-24 ahead with 9:20 to go, and it was defence all the way after that.
Eureka [18:00, Pick] GD had the military in to install a new security system and it was Holly Memorial Day. The military wanted to grab the computer containing Holly. Fargo told Alison and Jo that Holly was in it. Henry was messing about with Z-waves using Carter as a guinea pig. Fargo went into the bowels of GD to mess with the new security system; natch, Jo arrested him.
   Carter told Jo the new system was to blame for this week's glitches. Zane found a ghost in the machine; Holly. The military started a computer purge; Henry provided a hiding place for Holly. Jo got herself locked up. Zane covered her ass. Has Holly sacrificed herself for everyone else? Nope, Henry retrieved her.

[Wednesday, 05th] Eureka [18:00, Pick] Holly is a hologram in the Carter bunker and Fargo has moved in. It's Feynman Day so lots of nerdy practical jokes at GD. Alison gets locked in her submarine-lab for a meal with Carter served by virtual Vincent. Jo tries to call off the pranks. Zane won't believe he's been made head of Section 5. Carter & Alison end up at the bottom of the lake. There's all sorts of water-related stuff going on.
   Lake Archimedes & Dr. Fowler is the link. Carter & Alison find themselves on the brink of oblivion at the edge of a trench, dealing with Alison's obsession with what went on in Beverley's computer and water coming in. Henry uses Zane and Fowler gadgets to find them, and marries them whilst they are up to their necks in water.
   Dr. & Sheriff Carter are saved, natch, and Fowler gets the sack.
Shades of Blue, 13/13 series 1 [21:00, Living] Harlee had the $12M to trade for her team's immunity. Wozniak tried to warn off Agent Stahl, who wasn't impressed. Harlee's daughter was still consorting with the gaolbird, so she gave him $200,000 and asked him to get lost.
   Loman, the new, undirty member of the team, confronted the dirty DEA guy and ended up killing him. Luckily, Wozniak had his own private crematorium and the body went up in smoke! Harlee told Wozniak that Stahl gave her the $12M to trap him and the dirty DEA agent.
   Wozniak grabbed most of the cash but left a share for Harlee. He told Harlee that he'd cut a deal with Stahl to save the team and he knew she was the mole. He was busted. The gaolbird dropped in on Harlee and tried to resume abusing her; but he got a bit dead. The End. But there will be a series 2.

[Thursday, 06th] Eureka[18:00, Pick] Holly was stable but stuck in the bunker; she asked Zane to get her out without letting Fargo know that she was taking part in a risky experiment. Alison's stuck-up brother arrived to sneer at dumb-ass Sheriff Carter. Henry & Zane planned to print another body for Holly. Parish was moaning about Zane and annoying Jo.
   Holly wasn't too impressed by being moved from the bunker to Henry's garage. The head of her first body melted. Suddenly a super-genius, Carter found a major flaw in the book for which Marcus Blake was doing a signing session and blew up Marcus's car. Kevin had fed him stuff which had turned him into a supernerd. Deputy Andy got a Carter upgrade and became a power junkie. He had to be fixed; same with Carter.
Rizzoli & Isles [20:00, Alibi] Maura was working at a clinic with live customers. Rizzo had to give a lecture to FBI trainees at Quantico. A crazy kid on a bike exploded! The body gave 5 DNA profiles. The corpse had a meth lab. Big Yao, the meth dealer, had had liposuction. Maura concluded that the kid was blown up with a bomb made using glycerine extracted from human fat!!
   Yeah, right, a lot easier than just buying glycerine and nitrating it. The liposucking doctor was harassed and taken out of circulation. And Maura and Jane's mom came to an agreement over accommodation.
The last ever Lie To Me 13/13, series 3 [22:00, Alibi] Cal found a bloodstained Foster. 2 days previously, Cal was tackling Zach, an anti-social meeja guy, who started with 2 partners, ditched Kyle and Claire, a customer of Dr. Foster, knew she was next. Cal got a potential recruit; a black kid with attitude, to check up on his daugther's boyfriend. Claire was murdered and Foster found her dying.
   Kyle was raked in; Cal told his detective friend that he wasn't the killer. Zach attacked the Institute's computer with a worm. The detective said she had a warrant for Kyle's arrest but let him stay at the Institute. Cal & Co. outsmarted Zach the genius, and Cal got him sent to a mental hospital, where his mind would be erased with pills. Then his daughter announced that she had dumped her BF because he didn't believe in sex before marriage.

[Friday, 07th] TNF replay: the Cardinals in SF [10:30, SS 3] Lots of D in the scoreless first quarter; and some spluttering O. There were shots of Kaepernick in his uniform on the sideline. Why? There isn't a helmet big enough to accommodate that explosion of hair; unless he borrows one from the Firestone Indycar mascot.
   The first score was by the 49ers after an 87 yard drive with 4 minutes left in Q2. A blocked SF pass was tipped to the Cards inside the 2MW, TD pass to Fitzgerald on the next play. 7-all. The opening kick off of Q3 was stripped from SF and recovered by the Cards at the SF 14. They kicked a FG but running into the kicker gave them a 1st down and a TD run by Johnson. 14-7.
   Fitzgerald took another TD pass halfway through Q3. 21-7. Gabbert made a 24 yard run to the AC red zone in reply, on to a TD. 21-14. Gabbert was picked by 41 at the start of Q4, FG, 24-14. A long AC drive produced a TD with 5 minutes left, Johnson again, 31-14. A the 2MW, SF faced a 4th down at the AC 8, blew it but were awarded PI in the end zone. Totally bogus call, consolation TD for SF. 31-21. The Cardinals punted to the SF 1 and sacked Gabbert for a safety, 33-21 final.
Eureka [18:00, Pick] Alison was unimpressed by the shack in the woods that goes with the sheriff's job and Carter's honeymoon hotel became a shattered wreck when some rain started. Moving Holly to a new body was a one-shot process which was getting Grace's help. Carter found a safe under a rotten floor; it contained files from the previous sheriff, who was looking for a spy consortium in Eureka.
   Holly had her Metropolis moment; and needed another to become seated in the new body. Then she thought everyone was still stuck in Beverley's computer. Surprise! Grace was the spy. Henry didn't know what to think because he didn't know her. Grace told Henry that the other version of him was a spy, too!
Hooten & the Lady [21:00, Sky 1] Hooten was in hock to some backwoods mobster and he had to find a priceless scroll to pay off the debt, and he had to take a big minder with him. The Lady thought she could find it in Bhutan. Hooten was poisoned by a local 100-year-old crone, which didn't help with the quest, giving him double vision and a tendency to fall off cliffs.
   The Lady found a hidden map and the temple. There was no door handle but Hooten used his head. There was a box of jools inside, which the minder grabbed as settlement of the debt. Hooten, now blind, and the Lady ended up locked inside the temple.
   Hooten nearly croaked but the Lady unpoisoned him and he got them out of the temple. The minder fell into a ravine, Hooten didn't waterboard the crone and he had a receipt for the box of jools to show the mobster to get him off the hook.

[Saturday, 08th] CFL Live:The Roughriders in Ottawa [00:00, BTS 2] The RBs had to punt. A 47 yard pass to Bagg got the Riders to the red zone but just a FG. The RBs were sacked to a punt. More drops by RR receivers but Demski held on to a TD pass. 10-0. Jackson fumbled the ball to the RR at the RB 12 but Durant fumbled the ball away when sacked as the last play of Q1.
   In Q2, the RB punter dropped the ball and was tackled at his 23; FG for the RR, 13-0. Some defence then a fairly crap penalty helped the RBs to a TD for Williams. 13-7. The Riders were sacked to a punt. Harris was crunched. The RBs missed a FG try at the end of the half and the ball was returned for nul points.
   The Riders kicked a 51 yard FG in Q3. 16-7. Defence. Harris was picked after 11 minutes at the SSK 1 but the Riders went 2 & out and punted. Then they sent the RBs out on downs at midfield.
   The RR kicked another FG a minute into Q4, 19-7. Henry Burris, 141 years old, came on for the RBs; and threw an interception. Another FG for the Riders. 22-7. A TD for Ellingson gave the RBs hope. 22-14, 6:45 to go. Ellingson again with 3 minutes left, +2, 22-all!! 29 yards for PI by the RBs got the Riders out of a hole. A TD for Bagg put them 29-22 up. 48 seconds left. The kick off went out of bounds, so the RBs from their 45; flag after flag on SSK, the RBs reached the 1, TD, 29-all. A 55 yard FG try by the Riders was NG, we're off to OT.
   The RBs started, were held up and their FG try missed for a rouge! 29-30. The Riders made no mistake with their FG. 32-30 final. This is the first time the Riders have won 3 in a row since 2014. Unfortunately, with only 4 wins this season, they've come good when it's too late.
Taggart [Blood Money, 21:00, Alibi] A boxing promoter was found battered with a mouthful of cash. There was a drunken doctor and a stroppy boxer to suspect. Jimmy, the boxer, tried to create a false alibi because he was with the widow when her old man was done in. Burke failed to chuck Cassidy, an old schoolmate now a mobster, out of town.
   The widow was about to be written out of the will and Walker had cancelled his life policies. The doctor knew who the killer was; next corpse. Cassidy told Burke that Walker was fixing fights. Cassidy was busting a gut to get his investment back. Jimmy said he'd had to throw a fight to get a title shot.
   Cassidy got a bag of money and legged it out of his hotel window. Burke bagged him at the airport. Stuart discovered an insurance scam; Jimmy had a brain tumour, covered up the the doxtor, and he was supposed to die in his fight. His dad was done for the murders.

[Sunday, 09th] Saturday NF replay: the Lions in Winnipeg [09:30, ESPN] Nichols had his 2nd play picked; overturned with a challenge, and the BBs went on to a TD for Harris. Rainey returned the kick-off 76 yards but just a FG for BC. 3-7. Nichols made suspect pass attempts, the Bombers got a first down from a trick FG play and Nichols took a TD pass from an end around. 3-14. Leggett picked Jennings to the BC 15 to close Q1.
   A TD for Flanders 35 seconds into Q2, 3-21. BC missed a FG try, which was returned; the BB had to punt. Jennings' first play was tipped to Heath, BB FG, 3-24. Rainey blasted 56 yards through the BB defence for a TD. 10-24. A huge pass to Burnham plus a horse-collar penalty got BC to the BB 4, TD for Allen, 17-24. BC closed the half with a FG to get to 20-24.
   The teams exchanged FGs in Q3; 23-27. There was PI back and forth with BC driving, Burnham landed just short of the goal line and Lulay went in for a TD. 30-27. A FG for the BB was the first play of Q4; 30-all. BC went ahead with a FG. 33-30. The Bombers reclaimed the lead with a TD pass to Denmark. 33-37.
   BC found themselves left with 2 minutes to get a TD and win. Burnham took a pass 40 yards, back 10 for holding, 22 yards for Ianucci, Arceneaux to the red zone but BC went out on downs at the BB 4! Harris was forced to fumble and the ball went to BC, but the Bombers got it back from a cross-eyed review. Dressler ran about in the end zone to give up a safety with 1 second on the clock. 35-36. BC did some faffing about at their 35 but it was a win for the Bombers, who go to Vancouver next week.
Japanese GP replay [12:30, SS F1] Hamilton was 2nd on the grid but bogged up his start mightily and went back to 8th. Vettel did a lot of bitching on his radio, as usual. Verstappen fended Hamilton off to retain 2nd place and Hamilton was 3rd.
NFL Sunday: the Texans @ the Vikings [17:30, SS 2] The Viks took their opening drive to a TD. They got to within inches of the goal line and scored again after 8 minutes. 0-14. The Viks were nearly sacked to a safety and a TX FG try was a bad miss.
   In Q2, the Viks were held to a FG but they returned a punt 79 yards for a TD. 0-24. Osweiler was sacked going for a 4th down by holding by the MV helped the Texans to a FG. 3-24. The Viks were sacked to a punt. Osweiler was sacked on another 4th down but the MV had jumped offside. The Viks got away with PI in their end zone and the Texans kicked a FG. 6-24.
   Things got no better for the Texans in Q3. Osweiler was picked after 5 minutes; but nothing came of it. The next score didn't come until a minute into Q4; a TD for the Viks. 6-31. Osweiler continued to eat turf. The Texans managed a consolation TD with 4 minutes left. 13-31 final.
Next, the Falcons in Denver, where the Falcons made a fast start but stalled at the goal line. But battered in on 4th down! The Falcs were going well again but shot themselves in the foot with OPI. FG, 10-0. The Broncos kicked a FG in the 4th minute of Q2 for 10-3. The Falcons reached the red zone at the 2MW, FG, 13-3.
   Plenty of defence in Q3. The Falcs turned a pick into a TD after 7 minutes. 20-3. The Broncos staged a mugging and grabbed the ball at the end of the quarter, and kicked a FG in Q4. 20-6. A FG for the Falcs with 8:20 go to, 23-6.
   The Broncos hit the end zone with 2:38 to play. 23-13. They recovered an on-side kick but they'd jumped offside. The Falcons recovered the next kick, chewed a bit of clock and punted. The Broncos kicked a FG with 14 seconds left. 23-16. The Falcons fielded the kick; the end.

[Monday, 10th] NFL hilites: the Giants in Green Bay [13:00, SS 2] A 9 minute opening drive by the Pack went to a TD for Nelson. GB lost a TD to offsetting penalties then a pass by Rodgers was tippd to the Giants at the end of the quarter. The Giants kicked a FG. 3-7. Adams lunged for the end zone after 9 minutes, 3-14.
   The Giants kicked a FG inside the last 2 minutes. 6-14. The Pack went 3 & out. Manning fumbled the ball away when sacked on the play after the GIA missed a walk-in TD. OPI helped GB to a FG. 6-17.
   Manning was sacked in the red zone in Q3, FG, 9-17. GB kicked another FG in the 4th quarter. 9-20. A huge maul shoved the GB fullback to the GIA 10, and a long drive ended with a FG. 9-23. The boy Beckham got a dodgy TD at the back of the GB end zone. 16-23. Then GB ran out the clock.
Eureka [18:00, Pick] Paranoia in town as more spies are hunted. Fargo made Holly alive officially. The military arrived to bag Grace and find other spies. Henry was trying to read the disc found in the safe by Carter; the other Henry was on it, stealing secrets.
   Alison was going to reverse climate change by getting Fargo to crop-spray smart dust. Holly was zapped by a video message. And Andy. Henry turned himself in to Carter. He wanted to be in a cell with Grace. Carter & Jo met themselves! The smart dust was screwing everything up. Fargo asked Alison to check on Holly, who was being weird. Alison got the bum's rush from Holly, who was working on printing bodies. Alison found the strange computer images.
   Carter gave Fargo a solution to Farmageddon. Jo was grabbed by a duplicate of her. Alison realied that something else was trying to get out of the computer matrix. The other Jo had Zane busted. Carter found the 3D printer making another Jo, then Holly tasered him.
Thanksgiving Monday Night Football: the Eskimos in Montreal [18:00, BTS 2] The Esks went 2 & oat and there was more punting. Cato was crunched and almost picked. The Als missed a FG for a point after 8 minutes. The Esks went ahead with a successful FG. 3-1. Lots more defence. The Esks botched a punt reception and the Als took their short field to a TD in Q2. 3-8.
   Reilly fired a monster pass to Walker. A TD for Zylstra 2 plays later, no +2, 9-8. The Als punted. Walker & Bowman, a TD run by White, 16-8. Cato fired a 36 yard pass to Carter, which set up a FG. 16-11. Then defence to the end of the half.
   Cato's first play of Q3 was picked off by Parks; a receiver screwed up. A charge by White set up a TD for Getzlaf. 23-11. The Esks ate clock, made a 3rd & inches past the MTL 4, a walk in TD for Reilly. 30-11, 20 minutes left. Some punting. Bowman made a fantastic catch, a TD for White on the next play. 37-11.
   In Q4, Cato found Giguere with a TD pass. 37-18. Some punting. White went 30 yards to the MTL 26; FG with 4 minutes left; 40-18. Millions of seagulls started to circle the stadium. MTL went out on downs at the EE 5. The Esks ate up clock and gave up a safety, 40-20 final.
Next,the Stamps in Tronno [21:10, BTS 2] A 40 yard pass to Daniels to start the CS campaign, on to a TD for Messam, +2, 8-0. Some punting, the Argos went out on downs, the Stamps kicked a Fg after 11 minutes and a TD for Jordan, +2, to close Q1 at 0-19.
   The Argos kicked a FG 4 minutes into Q2. 3-19. Messam coughed up the ball to the Argos, on to the CS 5, Willy was sacked, FG, 19-6. Mitchell did some scrambling and fired a 61 yard TD pass to Daniels, no +2, 25-6. Power running by Messam got him to the TA 4 with 3 minutes to go. Big mass of penalties, one player from each side ejected for a battle behind the end zone. TD for Buckley eventually with 2:19 left. 32-6. The Stamps had time enough to finish the half with a FG. 35-6.
   The Argos had a punt blocked in Q3. A bad snap left the CS kicking a FG. 38-6. The Argos recovered a fumble and did a bit of rugby to the CS 23, on to a TD! 38-13. A bit kick off return, Messam charged through a big hole to go over 1,000 yards for the season and the Stamps started Q4 at 2nd & goal.
   A TD for Cote, 45-13 and Mitchell was done for the night. The Argos blocked a CS punt with 12 minutes to go and went on to a TD for Spencer. 45-20. The Stamps kicked another FG with less than 5 minutes left. 48-20 final.

[Tuesday, 11th] MNF replay: the Buccaneers in Carolina [13:00, SS 2] TB spent 8½ minutes going to a FG. Anderson was on for the concussed Newton for CP; 3 & out. A sack for the CP to end Q1. 6 minutes into Q2, TB recovered a muffed punt catch at the CP 30 but a FG try hit the upright and bounced back. TB got the ball back from a tipped pass, recovered their own fumble at midfield and managed a FG inside the 2MW. 6-0.
   Lots of Olsen for the Panthers in Q3, and they scored a TD with a 4th down surge. 6-7. Another TD run 9 minutes in; 6-14. One back for the Bucs 1½ minutes later, +2, 14-all.
   Anderson fumbled to TB to start Q4. A sack by the CP stopped the Bucs. The Panthers reached the TB 1 but Anderson was picked off in the end zone by Grimes. TB tried a go-ahead FG with 3½ minutes to go: a bad miss. But another FG try from 38 yards, helped by a 15 yard penalty on the Panthers for violence, went through the uprights with 00 on the clock. Tampa Bay wins 17-14. Phew.
Eureka [18:00, Pick] Alison found Carter & Andy having a coffee break instead of working. The major was getting nowhere with interrogating Zane. Grace escaped. Alison told Fargo that weird things were going on. Virtual Eureka was back on line with the crew of the spaceship rounded up and duplicated. Zane splatted a duplicate of Parish and acquired an ally.
   Holly told Fargo They were making her do things. Sarah zapped the Carter dupe. Fargo had to zap Holly. Alison crashed a road block and ran into the woods. Zane & Parish were caught. Fargo rescued Alison and they found where the crew was being held.
   Alison was bagged after Fargo used smart dust to stage a blackout. Carter, the real one, saved Alison. She lit up the smart dust cloud and zapped the dupes, which ended up in stasis. Holly was revived with her memories rolled back to the day she arrived at GD, so no memories of her relationship with Fargo. The DoE has decided to shut down Eureka!

[Wednesday, 12th] Eureka [18:00, Pick] The town was packing up and Grace was up before the beak . . . somewhere. Holly was getting to know Eureka again. The moving crew arrived 6 weeks early. Carter's Jeep was on the road one second and in the GD rotunda the next and about to run over Fargo, who was staging a lie-down protest. Dr. Parish went through another wormhole; to the cafe instead of the steam room.
   Henry was looking for how his other self contacted Beverley. Zoe joined Fargo's protest. Wormholes started to intersect dangerously; Andy ended up in bitz. Carter had a bright idea and was sent wormholing. Eureka was sold off.
   Henry told Beverley to do the decent thing and he got Grace back. Dr. Grant, a.k.a. Dr. Roswell, a visionalry billionaire, had bought Eureka. Henry was made the new head of GD, and Carter and Zoe had a final Eureka moment. And that's the end of series 5 and the show.

[Thursday, 13th] Rizzoli & Isles [20:00, Alibi] Maura has written a chapter of her best-seller. The ladies tackled what Jane thought was murder by fairies in a biker repair shop. The bikers were buying guns and Albanians were involved. The cops went after a female witness to the double homicide; a BWA who clobbered Frankie. His partner got full of angst over putting her finger on the trigger.
   The lady wouldn't talk. Neither would the Albanian mobster. Jane got a fake tattoo from Maura and went into gaol undercover to get to the witness. She offered Jane a kill contract to protect her half-sister. Jane arranged a reunion of the ladies and they went into witness protection.
Crossing Lines 3/1 [21:00, Alibi] A raid found zombified kidnap victims and a guy who blew his own head off when confronted. The boss was trying to nail an African despot at The Hague. Sophie, his assistant, brought him some vital evidence and was kidnapped. The general on trial was involved. Sophie dropped a burner phone as a clue.
   The boss assembled a team, including the leader of the anti-kidnap squad. Sophie was stuck in a quarry with an ex-special forces guy. The boss needed confirmation of the stuff Sophie had given him or the BG would walk. The kidnapper was blasted. Then Sophie told the boss she didn't know who her source was. To be continued.

[Friday, 14th] Hooten & the Lady [21:00, Sky 1] The Lady got a call from Ella, who'd been kidnapped by scumbags in Eritrea. She had to steal the Queen of Sheba's spoon from the British Museum as ransom. Hooten joined her and the head scumbag told his lady stooge to kill them. Only it was the stooge who went over an unseen cliff. The HSB already had the Queen's bowl, which had been stolen from a monastery.
   The HSB had promised his gang fabulous riches. The ladies took the bowl and spoon to bits and reassembled them, did some reconstruction work and spotted where the treasure was to be found. Meanwhile, Hooten was neutralizing minor scumbags. Bummer! The treasure wasn't gold it was frankincense, and the trees from which it had been obtained were long dead. The HSB ended up dead and Hooten and the ladies decamped leaving the minors pointing guns at one another.

[Saturday, 15th] FNF Live: The Blue Bombers @ the BC Lions [03:00, BTS 1] Bang! Jennings to Sinkfield, 62 yards to the BB 25, but a FG try missed for 1. A huge TD run by Harris was wiped out by an offside receiver, 2 & oat. A fumble ruling on BC was reversed on review; but a pick gave the ball back to the Bombers at their 9. The Bombers were sacked to a punt. Another pick gave them a FG. 3-1.
   Rainey put BC ahead with a TD 2 minutes in to Q2. 3-8. Another BB gadget play; a pass on 2nd & 1; worked, FG, 6-8. BC punted but the ball bounced off a BB receiver's hands to the BC at their 50. A 52 yard FG put them 6-11 ahead. Nichols overthrew a TD pass to a wide open Smith; FG, 9-11. BC fumbled right away at their 30, FG, 12-11. Another pick by Loffler with a minute left; Nichols was sacked out of FG range, punt.
   A lateral in the Q3 kick off return nearly went horribly wrong for the BB. Harris ran for 1st downs, FG, 15-11. BC replied with a TD pass to Gore, 15-18. +1 from the kick off, 15-19. Nichols' first play was picked! A penalty then a sack left BC with 3rd & 26; wiped out by a crap roughing call on the BB, FG, 15-22. More Harris. The BB reached the BC goal line, procedure, a penalty on BC, Nichols in from a yard out eventually. 22-all.
   Lulay came on for 3rd & 1 some 2 minutes into Q4. He came on again for a TD run, 22-29 after 5 minutes. BC went further ahead with a FG. 22-32. BC lost a sack to a penalty, Gurley made a highlight reel catch to the BC 3 but just a FG to follow. 25-32. A pick by Fogg at the BC 10 set up a TD for Denmark. 32-all, 2:22 left. A charge by Rainey ended up with a fumble to the BB! The Bombers ate clock and kicked a FG with 14 seconds left. 35-32. BC tried a 62 yard FG instead of a Fail Mary; short. The Bombers win.
TNF replay: Denver in San Diego [VM/Sky OD] The Bolts spent 7 minutes going to a TD with their opening drive. In Q2, they made 4th & inches to the DB 19 but ended up kicking a FG after driving for 10 minutes. 0-10. A botched punt reception put the Broncos at the SD 11, FG, 3-10.
   A 29 yard charge by Gordon took the Bolts to the DB 6 in Q3, FG inevitably. 3-13. The Broncos fumbled the ball away and SD kicked another FG. 3-16. And another in the 12th minute. 3-19.
   Holding in their end zone cost the Broncos a safety in Q4. 3-21. SD fumbled the free kick away at midfield! TD for Denver, 10-21, 8 minutes left. The Broncos lost a TD to holding 4 minutes later, SD delivered a sack on the next play. 2nd & 30 fumbled to the Bolts! SD punted. The Broncos kicked a FG with 27 seconds left. Then they recovered an on-side kick; but the Bolts held on to win.
Midsomer Murders [Schooled In Murder, 18:00, ITV3] Murder by cheese of a loud, tarty lady, Debbie, whose daughter was being bumped from the local school by the creepy headmistress on the strength of an anonymous accusation. There was trouble at the dairy making Midsomer Blue. Barnaby, J. and missus were about to have an anniversary dinner and there was some schtick to do with the Barnaby dog. Barnaby harassed Debbie's married boyfriend, Oliver, who was murdered, and there was a mysterious lurker.
   Greg, the new dairy boss, had to be involved, Barnaby decided. He and Debbie had pulled off a deal to make the cheese industrially instead of manually, which meant the cheese bloke, Jim, got the bullet. Poppy was consorting with the lurker and triggered a search when she vanished for a while.
   Barnaby learnt that Greg had been paying bribes to Oliver. Jake, the lurker, turned out to be a vegan nutter. Greg was done in next. Barnaby got on the case of the creepy headmistress. The dairy farm lady, whose milk Greg had stopped buying, was stampeded upon, and Jim. Poppy's mother was attacked. The cheese lady put the creepy head in her place and it was all about how she had been treated at the school. Barnaby told DS Jones the awful secret of the ring, which the dog had swallowed, not knowing that his wife, who was wearing it, was eavesdropping.

[Sunday, 16th] MotoGP of Japan replay [13@45, BTS 2] Migno had his first pole in Moto3 with Binder 2nd. A crash at turn 1 included McPhee. Migno blew it coming off the back straight and dropped to 4th. Binder looked like a fixture at the front but Bastianini was right on his tail on the penultimate lap. Migno hit Ono trying to take 3rd and fell off but he didn't take out Ono. Bastianini sneaked a win at the line by 17/1000th of a second. Ono was on the podium but Bulege was awarded 3rd as Ono was under the minimum weight for riders.
Moto2: Zarco couldn't keep the lead off the start. Rins went out straight away. Luthi took the lead. Lowes also went out, so that was Zarco the champion if he finished. Folger fell off. Alex Marquez crashed out from 7th. It was Zarco hounding Luthi at the end and Nakagami doing the same to 3rd place Morbidelli. And that's the way it finished.
MotoGP: Rossi was on pole for the 24 laps but Lorenzo took the lead followed by Marquez, who went ahead on lap 4. Rossi crashed, all on his own, on lap 7 and went out, so that was his title hopes blown. Injured Lorenzo, 2nd, was going slower and he lost his front end with 5 laps to go, which made Marquez the champion if he could stay on his bike. Dovizioso and Viñales joined Marquez on the podium, Cal Crutchlow was 5th.
NFL Sunday: the Eagles in DC [17:30, Sky Sports 2] The Redskins got sacks on the 1st & 5th plays, new jersey for Mr. Weitz, punt. Plenty of punting. Cousins found Jackson with a 35 yard pass, the WR were in the red zone on the next play, TD for Crowder on the next play. 0-7.
   Another WE sack in Q2 and a TD by Davis put them 0-14 ahead. Crumbs! The kick off was returned 86 yards for a TD by Smallwood. 7-14. Wow! a pick, Jenkins for a TD, 14-all. Jackson dropped a pass in the PE end zone, a dodgy penalty kept the Skins going, TD eventually, 14-21.
   Q3 The Skins kicked a FG in Q3, 14-24. A 54 yard pass & spectacular catch by Matthews in the first minute of Q4 set up a PE FG, 17-24. The Skins kicked a 50 yarder. 17-27. The Eagles kicked a FG after a TD pass was dropped. 20-27. Sack, sack on 2nd & 3rd downs. Surely that's it for the Eagles? A 57 yard run by Jones sank them completely and let the Skins run out the clock.
Falcons @ Seaweeds [21:25, SS2] Punts. The SH forced & recovered a fumble at the AF 9 after 13 minutes, TD on the next play. Very solid defence by the SH. The Falcons made 4th & 1 four minutes into Q2 to the SH 42, FG, 3-7. The SH scored a TD with 4 minutes to go and a FG in the last minute. 3-17.17-24.
   The Falcons drove for 4 minutes to a TD for a wide open James in Q3. 10-17. A TD for Sanu after 9 minutes made it 17-all. Another AF TD for wide open Toiolo. 24-17. The SH missed a FG try in Q4 but they scored a TD with 4:43 left. The PAT was blocked. 24-23. A tipped pass went to the Weeds at midfield. A 44 yard FG put them 24-26 up with 2 minutes to go. The Falcons went out on downs after the SW got away with PI.
   I do wonder what, if anything, is going through the minds of the officials at the end of the game. Are they too busy thinking about what they'll be having for dinner to heave a flag for blatant pass interference? Or are they just too shagged out to be aware of what is going on around them and they're thinking, "Is it time to go home yet?"

[Monday, 17th] CFL replay: Regina @ Tronno [08:30, ESPN] All defence to start. The Riders managed a FG after 8 minutes. The Argos fumbled the ball away in FG range, then lost a pick to a penalty. The Riders were sacked to a FG in Q2. 6-0. Lots more defence. McKnight rushed 27 yards and Collins took a TD pass with 2 minutes left. 13-0. The Argos punted; Gregg returned the kick for a TD untouched. 20-0.
   More defence in Q3. Willy was sacked at the TA goal line and they gave up a safety instead of punting. 22-0. A one-handed catch of the season for Collins got the Riders to the TA 2, TD for Holley. 29-0. The Argos returned a punt to midfield, LeFevour came on for Willy and the Argos started Q4 at the RR 12, FG, 29-3. Durant was rested. A good punt return by the Argos, Whittaker battled into the end zone on 3rd & 10! +2, 29-11. 3:42 to go but there was no more scoring.
Next, MTL @ CGY [11:00, ESPN] The Als punted. The Stamps were sacked to a punt for a rouge 5 minutes in. A sack back on MTL. Calgary got their 3rd sack early in Q2. One back on Mitchell and another rouge from a punt. 0-2. Another sack on Mitchell with a minute left was wiped out by a totally crap penalty. CGY on to a TD for Parker. 0-9. A turnover gave the Stamps a chance for more points but a FG try missed and was returned.
   The Stamps kicked a FG in Q3. 0-12. Another sack for the Als. Lots more defence. Canadian QB Buckley came on for a short yardage TD with 2:25 to go. +2, 0-20. Cato sacked again. The Als were stuck at their goal line in Q4 and gave up a safety after a minute and a half. 0-22. Surprise! The Als recovered a fumbled punt return at the CGY 19; out on down.
   Another CGY sack; well, Cato gave up again. MTL given a safety for intentional grounding from the end zone. 2-29, no shut-out, under 3 minutes to go. The Stamps found the MTL end zone from a fumbled catch? No possession, no TD. Yet another vexatious challenge gave the Als a 1st down at the CGY 2, cosmetic TD for Rutley, no +2, 8-22. And that was it.
Star Trek TNG [Encounter At Farpoint, part 1, 18:00, Syfy] Which were the worst ever episodes of TNG? Every single one containing the idiotic Q character. I had forgotten that the series started with Captain Picard & crew being put on trial for the crimes of humanity in the very first episode. Phew! what a stinker it was. I'd like to nominate Q as the worst soap character ever created in the whole history of the universe. Needless to say, I didn't stay for episode 2, which followed at 19:00.
SNF replay: the Colts @ the Texans [20:00, SS Mix] The Colts kicked a FG after 9 minutes and had a fall-in TD at the start of Q2. 10-0. Lots of boos for Osweiler and the struggling TX offense. A FG for the Colts put them 13-0 up. The TX kicked a FG after the 2MW. 13-3.
   In Q3, the Texans reached the IC 7, the 4, PI in the end zone, TD but the PAT missed. 13-9 after 8 minutes. The Colts were stopped on 3rd & inches at the TX 8, sack on the next play, then a pick by Davis at the TX 20! A TD for Luck at the start of Q4, 20-9. The Colts kicked a FG after 8 minutes, 23-9. Miller showed great grit and tenacity to go 10 yards through a gang for a TD. 23-16, 2:37 left. Sack for the Texans, punt. A 3-play TD drive for the Texans, 23-all, OT.
   The Colts were sacked to a punt. A 36-yard pass put the Texans in FG range at the IC 12, a 33-yard FG made up for the missed extra point. 23-26 final. The Texans stole one.
The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (2013) [21:00, Film4] James Thurber's most famous short story was rewritten for the 1947 Danny Kaye film, which worked. The opening titles of this remake are very subtle. Sadly, the film is a clunker. Walter, who just kinda zones out for a while, works for Life magazine, which is sacking staff as it switches from paper to on-line. Walter has a few day dreams then goes off on a mad trip to Iceland in search of Sean. That joke wears thin quickly, even with a comedy volcano.
   Walter finds that he shudda gone to Afghanistan. He catches up with the elusive Sean in the Himalayas and finds that all the dashing about has been a waste of time. Like the time spent watching this clunker. Sean's negative for the last ever cover of the mag is back home. Walter delivers it and . . . well, something that's flat can't really fizzle out, can it?

[Tuesday, 18th] MNF replay: The Jets in Arizona [13:00, SS 2] The Cardinals punted. Bang! Fitzpatrick sacked on his first play, 3 & out. One play by the Cards: a 58 yard TD run by Johnson. 0-7. The Jets reached the red zone in Q2, holding and out of it again, FG, 3-7 after 3 minutes. Some really crap PI calls. Another TD for Johnson after 8 minutes. 3-14.
   It was a penalty on every play, almost, in the bits of Q3 that we saw. Another TD for Johnson, 3-21. The Jets got close but they were picked in the AF end zone in the last minute of the quarter. The Cards scored with a passing TD to Floyd 7 minutes into Q4. 3-28. Smith came on as QB for the Jets. A sack left him with 4th & 11, a pick by the Cards and they ran out the clock.
CFL FNF replay: Ottawa @ Hamilton [19:00, ESPN] Burris was starting for the RB and Masoli for the TC. A TD pass to Tolliver gave the Cats a 0-7 lead in the 4th minute. The RBs replied with a FG. 3-7. The RBs went 2 & oat after forcing a fumble and recovering the ball.
   The RBs reached the red zone in Q2 and Burris took the ball into the end zone from the 1; 10-7. The next RB drive reached the TC 11 and got half-the-distance as a bonus, Burris again, 17-7.
   Masoli was picked by Marshall whilst scrambling; shudda tossed the ball out of bounds. But Chick sacked Burris and forced a fumble, which the TC recovered. Masoli took a shot at the RB end zone; and was picked by Hightower. Criner dropped a pass in the TC end zone and the RBs kicked a FG for 20-7.
   The RBs started Q3 with a punt; Banks managed a decent retrun to the RB 37; TD for Chiles in the 5th minute, 20-14. Masoli flung one and Chiles came down with it at the RB 6; TD run by Gable, 20-21. Holy smokes! juggling on the sideline, TD pass to Jackson, 27-21. The TC were sacked to a punt.
   In Q4, Some punting to start. Collins took a TD pass at the back of the RB end zone, 27-28, 9 minutes to go. A sideline catch by Ellingson was followed by a "ridiculous" catch by Sinopoli. Ellingson was given a completed pass; a challenge changed it to incomplete rather than giving the TC a fumble recovery. FG, 30-28, 6 minutes to go. Tracy got a sack for the TC, 3 minutes to go. The TC resumed inside OTT territory, their FG try missed for 1, 30-29, 2:23 to go. The RBs marched to the TC 1 then ate the rest of the clock.
47 Ronin (2013) [21:00, Film4] Why 47? Well, it is a prime number. A mysterious kid with demon powers turned up as a mutilated refugee from something horrible. Kai was given shelter by a warlord with the inevitable daughter. There were big monsters around and upstarts like Lord Kira, ready to claim the credit for the one Kai killed. There was also a witch, Kira's mistress, who could turn herself into an odd-eyed dingo.
   The interloper had to be humbled, of course. The witch poisoned the girl's father, made him attack Kira and the warlord had to be sliced and diced on the emperor's orders. The daughter, Mika, was given a year to mourn before she'd be married off to Lord Kira, the warlord's samurai became ronin, forbidden to avenge their master and Kai was sold into slavery.
   Kira released the head samurai/ronin, Oishi, a year later. He rounded up the rest of the gang and Kai provided demon swords. They ran into an ambush staged by the witch but they infiltrated Kira's fortress with a band of strolling players.
   Kai did battle with the witch serpent and saw her off. Kira got a bit cut up and his head was put on display to prove he was a loser. Mika's dad was declared avenged, and the ronin were made samurai again so they could do a mass suicide and be buried around their dead master.

[Wednesday, 19th] Rosemary & Thyme [The Italian Rapscallion, 20;00, ITV3] The ladies are in Italy, where Celia plans to open an outdoor restaurant in a garden. Laura recognizes a lady copper who is done in. No, Janice is now a private eye. Who was she investigating? She got what was coming to her for trying to stealing Sir Basil's wallet, Gloria the potter reckons.
   "Sir Basil" is an imposter, Laura finds. And the real one has been missing for 5 years. The imposter falls over a cliff. "Doesn't smell right," sez Laura. It's Gloria, she decides. Gloria was blackmailing the bogus Basil. Janice was a threat to her livelihood, and Basil became one.
Salt (2010) [21:00, Film4] Jolly Angelina, the grave robber, is a CIA agent, who has a tough time in N. Korea in 2008 and has to be swapped. Back in DC at the CIA building there, she meets a defector with cancer, he sez, who reveals a plan to destroy America using gangs of sleeper agents. Chekov says Evelyn Salt is one of them!
   The defector kills 2 agents and escapes from the CIA building. Ev runs for it. The CIA blows up her apartment just after she's left it. Cue some more chasning. Someone is going to kill the Russian president, who's visiting New York for the funeral of the US Vice-President. President Boris looks like Adolf Hitler ca 1944 but without the moustache. Coincidence? Or an unsubtle message?
   Ev blows up the cathedral a bit and plugs Boris. Then she wrecks half the police cars in NY and escapes. "We will strike back," sez the new Russian leader, President Angrily. Part 2 of the plan is to seize control of America's atomic weapons. Ev's husband is shot and the sleepers gather. She does in Orlov, who created the sleepers, with a vodka bottle and goes on a killing spree. Then it's off to a bunker 8 storeys below the White House.
   Chekov turns into a suicide bomber and Ev is spotted. The President is bunkered but Ev gets in. The missles are revved up. Shock, horror! Ed, Ev's CIA mentor, is another sleeper! He targets Mecca and Tehran to upset Moslems. Surprise! The Russian president ain't dead. Ev just drugged him with spider venom.
   Ev clobbers Ed and prevents the missile launch. Then she gets to throttle Ed a bit. At the end, Ev Salt is allowed to escape to get the rest of the Russian sleepers.

[Thursday, 20th] Rizzoli & Isles [20:00, Alibi] A robbery/homicide case was coming up for trial after 2 years; no murder weapon and no sign of the stolen rubies. Then a vital piece of evidence took a walk from the lock-up. The cops had until 9 a.m. on Monday morning to come up with the stolen evidence. The thief got in through the new A.C. Maura's weird assistant was nursing a sick duck.
   Frankie Korsak busted a suspect; after she'd incinerated the evidence. Donna wouldn't talk but she had a ring with a $20K stone. The cops went after the main jewel thief and asked for more time. The judge dismissed the case and Mr. Banion was released; but he was told to give up his partner or go to gaol forever. So that was the other rat in the bag.
Crossing Lines [21:00, Alibi] Sophie was abducted to get to her source. A name stuck out from the kidnapper's client list. There was an illegal mining operation and a massacre by mercenaries at the back of everything. Sophie's source had the only evidence which would incriminate the money men behind the massacre.
   A candidate for the leak vanished; a guy in the BG's legal dept. Mr. Gilbert's wife was threatened so he crumbled. Shoot-out, the BG's security bozo was busted. The boss nailed the general after Gilbert was persuaded to testify. And the Cross-border Unit is to be re-established. The kidnap specialist was blackmailed into joining it under the lady inspector.

[Friday, 21st] TNF replay: the Bears in Green Bay [19:00, SS 3] GB made 4th & 3 at the CB 29 and went on to a FG. PI got the Pack to the CB 20 in the 12th minute. They reached the 1 but went out on downs. Hoyer, the Bears' QB, was injured in the 5th minute of Q2, Barkley took their next drive to a FG. 3-all with 3 minutes to go. Nearly a TD for Cobb in the CB end zone, FG, 3-6.
   Rodgers fumbled when sacked in Q3 and the Bears recovered the ball in the GB end zone. 10-6. GB got close, a CB challenge of a first down pass failed; finally, a TD for Adams, 10-13. Lots of Montgomery in the GB drive at the end of the quarter but Adams again for a TD to start Q4. 10-20.
   Lots of penalties on CB kept the Pack going to the CB 11, to the 2, TD for Cobb. False start on the convert and the rekick missed. 10-26. A pick by GB with 4:27 to go led to a FG try, which was blocked. Another GB pick with 41 seconds left sealed the deal and GB went to 4-2.
Rosemary & Thyme [Up the garden path, 20:00, ITV 3] There's a village gardening competition with a secret judge and someone is sabotaging the best prospects. R&T are called in to track down the source of the blight. Skinner the scumbag is too obvious a suspect. Weedkiller, Rosie thinks. Mr. Westwood is found dead in his sabotaged garden; Laura is suspicious of the wife, Rosie suspects an affair. Heart attack, the PM sez. The ladies find big bags of weedkiller.
   What about the blackmail letters, and Judd, Skinner's sinister gardener? And that nice Sarf Efrican lady? Judd is buried in logs but he also had a heart attack. Rosie works out that the nice Sarf Efrican lady used exotic poison from one of her plants to get revenge on Westwood, who killed her twin brother just before he gave up surgery.
Hooten & the Lady [21:00, Sky One] Hooten was in Moscow with a guy who reckoned he had the 51st Faberge egg. A guy in Fiji bugged them. Lady Alex had her wedding preferences overruled before dashing to Russia to find Hooten strung up, naked. She was following Valeria, an old schoolmate, who deals in stolen artefacts. She doesn't believe in a 51st Faberge egg.
   Valeria and her thugs harassed Hooten & Alex a bit. Hercules, the egg guy, was done in. More chasing at a Moscow hotel and Valeria & posse were busted. The cleaning lady was the key, Alex realized. Her grandfather took the 51st egg from Faberge's workshop whilst it was being wrecked by bolsheviks.
   Hooten threw the egg into the Moscow river, wanting to save Alex and her entire family from being wiped out by the BG who wants the egg. Her boss at the museum grounded Alex for not having anything to bring back. So she had to dive in the river to get the egg. More of this story next week.

[Saturday, 22nd] FNF Live: the Ticats in Ottawa, where it was chucking it down [00:00, BTS 3] The RB opening drive went to a FG. Same for the TD, 3-all. The RBs survived a sack with a 20 yard pass play; what a catch by Jackson in the end zone. 3-10. There was a pick by Hightower with 10 seconds left in Q1 but the TC got the ball right back from a batted pass at the RB 5!
   The TC kicked a FG in Q2 and it was still persisting down. 6-10. A FG back for the RBs, 6-13. The TC advanced to the RB 5 but Masoli was picked at the goal line by Pruneau. The RBs marched down the field to a TD pass to Criner. 6-20. The Cats did the first punt of the match with 2 minutes left and got the ball right back from a botched attempt to field it. A TD pass to Elliott, the PAT missed, 12-20. The RBs took their lead to 12-27 with a quick TD drive.
   A 39 yard pass to Elliot got the TC to the RB 21 in Q3, Chiles to the 1; Matthews on for the TD, no +2, 18-27. There was no challege of a possible TD for Sinopoli and the RBs fumbled the ball way on a QB sneak from the TC 1! The TC had to punt but Tracy caught a tipped pass; holding put the TC at midfield instead of the RB 12. A FG try missed for 1. 19-27. Burris ended up on the wrong end of a 300 lb sack and the RBs punted to close the quarter.
   A TD for Chiles in Q4 got the TC to 26-27. The RBs zoomed to a TD for Jackson and the PAT missed. 26-33. The TC drove to a TD for Gable. 33-all, 4 minutes to go. And that's the way it stayed until the final flag-wave. OT.
   Penalty after penalty on the RBs but the TC managed just a FG. 36-33. The RBs replied with a FG for 36-all. In OT 2, Burris was sacked on 1st down and lost the ball on 2nd down. So the Cats just had to go 2 & FG to win 39-36 and get their own back for losing at their home stadium last week.
Midsomer Murders [Masterclass, 20:00, ITV 3] Zoe had a nose-bleed panic attack at an audition but she was still offered a place at the Winter School, where Mrs. Barnaby is to be found. Zoe saw a woman with a baby jump into the river but a police search found no body. DCI Tom Barnaby recalled a drowning; with a nameless body; from 20 years before; and Father Gregory was around both times.
   DS Jones thought Zoe was loopy. Zoe was in the running for the local maestro's prize with Orlando and Francesca, who had pushy parents. Rejected Benedict threw a major wobbly and haunted the school. Someone tried to kill Zoe but Barnaby saved her. Zoe was the favourite for the prize but Orlando and his pushy mom were planning to entrap and sabotage his rivals.
   There was an abandoned house in the woods. Zoe's parents were hiding something. Orlando was done in whilst his pushy mom was trying to vamp the maestro. Father Gregory was bumped off before he could talk to Zoe's parents.
   Was anyone surprised to learn that Zoe was adopted? Nope. Zoe's parents were in a car crash. Mad Molly hid her baby before she committed suicide and Gregory strolled off with the child. Shock, horror! Sir Michael, the maestro, was both Zoe's grandfather and father, and there were two mad sisters and a mad brother for the cops to hoover up, too.

[Sunday, 23rd] Moto3 of Australia [11:45, BTS 2] It was all happening behind Brad Binder as the race reached its climax. He and Locatelli cleared off out into the distance and they weren't in the shot when the cameras followed the battle for 3rd. Would it be Darryn Binder joining his brother on the podium? No, Canet slipstreamed past him to claim 3rd at the line.
Moto2: The 4 off the front became 3 and Rins went forward as Zarco went backwards. Lowes had an early crash. Rins did Zarco a big favour by crashing. Luthi did most of the leading from Morbidelli and Pasini, who crashed with 3 to go. Kent went out at the same corner. Morbidelli led into the last lap with Cortese 3rd. Luthi slipstreamed Morbidelli out of the last corner and nicked the win on the line. Zarco was 12th.
MotoGP: Crutchlow was on the front row. Marquez went out in front. Crutchlow got past P. Espargaro for 2nd then he had to do the same to A. Espargaro after A. nipped past Cal and his brother. Marquez, with a hard front tyre, crashed his Honda at Honda corner with 18/27 laps to go. Crutchlow; same front tyre choice; inherited the lead. A. Espargaro crashed out of 3rd with 5 laps to go. Crutchlow won his 2nd race of the season, Rossi 2nd, Viñales 3rd.
Meanwhile, the Rams had gone 7-0 up against the Giants at Twickenham. [started 14:30, BBC 2] A 48 yard play took the Rams to the Gia 32, FG, 10-0. Alas, this early promise was a mirage. The Giants kicked a FG 7 minute in to Q2, 10-3. The Rams were stopped by a pick; lots of blocking for Collins, who caught the tipped pass and he was barged into the end zone. 10-all. Neither offence could do anything for the rest of the quarter.
   Lots more D in Q3. A pick by the Giants in the 3rd minute of Q4 led to a barge into the Rams' end zone. 10-17. Keenum was picked in the Giant end zone with 4 minutes left. Another pick in the Giants' end zone. The end. That was a pretty mediocraptic performance by both offences; which means that the defences were on the ball.
Next, the Bills @ the Dolphins [18:02, SS2] The Dolphins spent 8 minutes going to a FG. The Bills were sacked to a punt. They kicked a FG in the last minute of the quarter for 3-all. A public warning for Miami 14; the guy who threw the flag for taunting deserves a smack in the gob.
   In Q2, the Dolphins punted but a penalty for holding meant a re-kick, which was blocked. The Bills pulled off a QB trick play, TD for Taylor, 10-3. The Dolphins were held to a FG after 10 minutes, 10-6.
   Lots of D in Q3. Boom! a 67 yards TD pass by the Bills. 17-6 after 9 minutes. Miami reached the BB 6 at the end of the quarter, TD with +2! 17-14. The Fins started Q4 pinned at their 1 but their 2nd play was a rush across midfield to the BB 44 by Ajayi. But a punt followed. Landry got into MD FG range after a Tannehill scramble and pass with 5 minutes to go. 200+ rushing yards for Ajayi for the 2nd successive match! Williams was barged into the end zone. False start on the convert but the next kick was okay. 17-21, 4 minutes left.
   Another MD TD, Still, 56 yard pass, 224 left, 17-28. Stoopid, stoopid penalties given up by the Fins; the Bills were given a TD with 14 seconds left, +2, 25-28. The on-side kick went to the Dolphins; who won.
Next, Armstrong Athletic in Pittsburgh [21:26, SS 2] The Steelers with Jones in charge went 2 & out but NE fumbled the ball to them right away. But a pick in the NE end zone stopped the Steelers. TD for NE after 12 minutes. And another 4 minutes into Q2. 14-0.
   The PS came back with a TD 2 minutes later, 14-7. Holding cost them a TD after 10 minutes and a FG try missed. The Steelers got close, almost a pick in the end zone, FG, 14-10.
   A quick stop by the PS in Q3 and they kicked a FG in the 6th minute. 14-13. TD for Gronk, the convert missed, 20-13. The Steelers started Q4 with a FG. 20-16. More Gronk to the PS 5, TD, 27-16. The Pats coughed up a punt return with 10:27 to go. A 54 yard FG try by the Steelers was way wide. 9 minutes of defence followed.
US Grand Prix [19:30, SSF1] Hamilton was on pole, for what that's worth, in Austin, TX. Merc, Red Bull, Ferrari in the 1st six grid slots. Hamilton didn't bog the start and Ricciardo jumped Rosberg but only for a while. Verstappen's Red Bull car croaked on lap 30/56, VSC. Raikkonen's car croaked at the end of the pit lane after a stop, so he was able to reverse out of everyone's way. Alonso and Massa did some off-tracking, which ended with Alonso pinching 6th. Button was 9th. Hamilton's win and Rosberg's 2nd still leaves the German with the title in his hands.

[Monday, 24th] SNF NFL replay: The Weeds @ the Cards [12:30, Sky Sports 3] Defences ruled in Q1. The Cardinals tried a FG 2 minutes into Q2 but were stopped by a jumper over the pile; no penalty; bad call. A FG with 3 minutes left in the half was good. 0-3. The Cards failed to get a FG kick done as the half ran out.
   In Q3, the Cards went out on downs at the SH 19 with 4 minutes to go. Lots more defence in Q4. A blocked punt put the SW in AC territory and they kicked a FG with 4 minutes to go. 3-all. OT.
   The Cards kicked a 45 yard FG. 3-6. One back for the Weeds. 6-all. Nelson to the SH 5, 40 yards; but a FG try hit the upright. Then the Weeds missed a FG from 28 yards. So it was a draw.

[Tuesday, 25th] FNF CFL replay: the Argos in Calgary [03:40, ESPN] A fine day out in the West; unlike the rain in Ottawa. The Stamps' opening drive went to a FG. Ray was playing for the Argos and took them to a TD for Whittaker. 7-3. The Stamps kicked another FG at the end of Q1. 7-6.
   The Stamps got moving in Q2, Buckley can on for 1st & goal at the TA 1; fumble, almost a sack; then a TD for Buckley. +2, 7-14. The Argos blew up ona 3rd & 1 at midfield. A 48 yard CS FG half-way through put them 7-17 ahead. The Stamps did nothing after an interception, prepared to punt but did a stunt which failed and went out on downs.
   The Ticats' win in Ottawa coincided with the 3 minute warning and left the TA with nothing to play for but pride as the cross-over is inevitable. The Stamps punted with a minute to go, big return by Spencer to the CS 32, Shaw to the 3, FG, 10-17.
   A red zone sack on Ray in Q3 held the Argos to a FG. 13-17. Daniels took a 41 yard TD pass. 13-24. The Stamps went 2 & out after a pick by Campbell in the 14th minute. Q4 started with a punt by the Argos.
   The Stamps had to make 3rd & 1 twice using Buckley; TD for Daniels right at the back corner of the end zone.13-31. The Argos went out on downs at the CS 4 with 3 minutes to go and the defences held up. The Stamps are unbeaten at home this season.
MNF replay: the Texans in Denver [13:00, SS 3] The Texans kicked a FG after 8 minutes, and another to close Q1. 6-0. A TD for the Broncos 6 minutes into Q2. 6-7. Another after 11 minutes. 6-14. The Texans managed a FG 6 minutes into Q3 for 9-14.
   Denver forced and recovered a fumble in the 11th minute of Q3 and went on to a TD at the end of the quarter. 9-21. Osweiller had the ball knocked out of his hand in Q4, and a Denver player picked it up, not realizing it was a live ball and he could have had a TD. Denver got a FG out of the shambles. 9-24. They kicked another FG with 1:57 left. 9-27 final. Not much of a show by the Texans.
Saturday night CFL replay: Montreal in Regina [23:30, ESPN] Well, it certainly pays not to believe what those lying gits at BT Sport put on their website. Or you might switch on your TV only to find that the programme you planned to watch is just finishing.
   No 89 Carter any more @ Montreal and Vernon Adams was getting his shot as the 156th QB since Calvillo. It was chucking it down with rain as the Als were sacked to a FG. The SK were sacked 2 & out. Adams took a 19 yard scamper to the SK 18, FG after 10 minutes, 6-0. Adams was crunched, punt, next time the Als had the ball. A sack back on Durant, punt.
   SK punted to the MTL 2 in Q2 and the Als gave up a safety. 6-2. Lots more defence and a couple more sacks on Adams. The Riders managed a FG in the 14th minute for 6-5. Killing Adams again cost SK 15 penalty yards but a 53 yard FG try by the Als missed.
   The Als got another sack in Q3. The Riders fumbled the ball away in the 7th minute but got it right back via an interception. Durant coughed the ball up to the Als when sacked and they found themselves at the SK 3; TD for Giguere, 13-5. A dodgy penalty let SK keep the ball after a short yardage fumbled ended with the ball in their end zone in the hands of the Als.
   40 yards for Lewis to the SK 22 in Q4, a TD pass to Henry and the convert was missed. 19-5 two minutes in. A big pass play to Morris got the Riders to the MTL 17, TD for Durant, 19-12. The Als obligingly jumped offside on a SK 3rd & 2 in MTL territory; SK made another 3rd & 2; 3MW; another 3rd down at the MTL 7; suddenly, the Riders were out on downs. The Als gave up safety to eat clock, 19-14. Fail Mary time for the Riders? No, a bit of a shamble and a win for the Als.

[Wednesday, 26th] Rizzoli & Isles [21:00, Alibi] Rizzo has a job offer as an instructor at Quantico. An unrobbed guy was ambushed and shotgunned in the park; a forensic accountant. His phone was some distance away with a guy who was still alive; Maura's ex-husband! They had a one-night marriage and, shock-horror, it was never annulled. He was Jane's prime suspect, he was rich with a pushy mom and he had nuffink to say.
   There was a rare shotgun involved, Maura's weird assistant found. The husband's father was involved in something dodgy and there were incriminating documents in the wind. His mom pointed a gun at Maura when she found them. There was a Ponzi scheme at the back of everything. The BG tried to run Maura off the road and grab the docs. Jane to the rescue. Frankie's girlfriend's mom liked him and Jane was taking the job.

[Thursday, 27th] SaturdayNF replay: the Eskimos in Vancouver [00:30, ESPN] This was billed as a playoff for 2nd place in the West but it didn't live up to the billing. The first score was a FG for BC in the 13th minute after a sack by Sewell. The Esks got level in the 2nd minute of Q2, 3-all.
   Johnson ran through Swiss cheese, PI, offside Edmonton, TD for Arcenaux, +2, 3-11. Procedure then a time-count violation put Jennings in the BC end zone to take a shotgun snap, safety, 5-11. Arcenaux got another TD with 2 minutes to go. 5-18.
   A good Q3 drive by the Esks got them to the BC 1 after PI in the end zone, TD for Reilly, 12-19. BC made a 3rd & 2 in EE territory, Swiss cheese, 20 yard TD run for Jennings, far too easy, 12-26. A 31 yard TD run by White got the Esks to within one score @ 19-26 in the last minute of the quarter.
   BC were sacked to a FG try, which missed and was returned, only to be fumbled back to BC at the EE 44; more or less the previous line of scrimmage. Another sack on Jennings was wiped out by a penalty, FG, 19-29, 9 minutes left. BC ate clock. Arcenaux was denied a 3rd TD; the ball was stripped as he was making an end zone catch, FG, 19-32, 4 minutes left.
   The officials missed an accidental but still valid roughing the passer call on Reilly until the EE head coach challenged, and he was done for excessive protesting about the incompetence. Bowman got a cosmetic TD with 34 seconds left; the convert hit the upright, which summed up the Eskimos' night. 25-32 and the short kick-off went out of bounds. The end.
   A shocking doziness of match officials continues; they seem to go to sleep at the end of matches. Which suggests that sanctions would be in order. A smack in the gob and a 2-week suspension without pay for a first offence of neglect of duty could be followed by having to act as live bait, as an alternative to a seal, next time Canadian Inuit go on a traditional orca hunt.
Rosemary & Thyme [Seeds of Time, 20:00, ITV 3] Rosie & Laura spent a night at the former family home to let Laura do some scavenging. Then it was off to the home of Edwin Pargiter, a famous botanist, to find out if anything in his ancient seed collection was viable. Laura used to live nearby but no one remembered her. Petra wanted to include pompous old Edwin in her book and there was a dodgy estate agent and a dodgy couple trying to buy the house.
   The ladies got pissed and Rosie found a body in the garden: a José Pargiter from Chile. The "wife" of the guy who wanted to buy the house tried some burgling and ended up dead. A pharmaceutical company wanted some seeds, which were an alternative to quinine for treating malaria. Laura discovered that Petra had been to Chile and she was the killer. And Laura had the seeds all along; they were in a old cushion which she had bought at a jumble sale. So she gave them to the Chilean government.
Crossing Lines [21:00, Alibi] A school coach was hijacked @ Lausanne, Switzerland, by the driver, the US ambassador's daughter was killed, and the kids were extracted via the drains after the driver demanded a ransom of €50M. The hostage guy, Marcus, decided that Chloe had been killed for a reason other than ransom and her boyfriend was involved.
   There was a drug connection. A suspect was busted, then another after some shooting and a chase to spice things up a bit. The suspects were threatened with the FBI and being tried as terrorists. They talked. There was a missing gun. Marcus found it and bluffed the killer into giving himself away. And he found he could work with the young lady on the team, whom he didn't trust.

[Friday, 28th] TNF replay: the Jags @ the Titans [18:30, SS 2] The Jags were wearing outfits which looked like a first draft for the Steelers' bumble bee suits. The Titans screwed up their first drive. The next produced a FG in the 12th minute. They started Q2 with a TD. 0-10.
   Another TD in the 5th minute was helped by the JX Maulers giving up penalties. 0-17. The Titans almost reached the end zone but their guy stepped out of bounds. TD on the next play, 0-24 after 8 minutes. The Titans kicked a FG to close the half at 0-27.
   Finally, a TD for the Jags 4 minutes into Q3, +2, 8-27. A huge pass play for the Titans, TD after 8 minutes, the PAT missed, 8-33. The Titans got the ball back from their kick off but a PF call in Q4 held them to a FG. 8-36. A cosmetic TD for the Jags with 3 minutes to go, 15-36. And another to close the match. 22-36. 337 yards of passing for Bortles, including 3 TD passes, but the Jags lost. ?
Hooten & the Lady [21:00, Sky 1] 9 weeks after Lady Alex went swimming for the egg, Hooten was with a boy monk in Cambodia, extracting an artefact from a trap and giving the Lady the brush-off, not knowing that she was spying on him. Drug manufacturers found the last of the 4 artefacts needed to find a jewel, which the Lady believed was a myth.
   Hooten and the kid were grabbed by BGs, the Lady to the rescue. She and Hooten were chased into a minefield but just walked out of it. The scumbag who wanted the egg was after the jewel that gives immortality. Hooten wanted to kill him for killing his wife and kid; which turned out to be the scumbag's wife, who ran away with Hooten, and the kid they had.
   Alex had to get the jewel or she was fired. Hooten spotted a clue and the scumbag followed him. Hooten had to give up the jewel to save Alex. The scumbag ended up in the snake pit and Alex blagged the jewel, which she gave to the Cambodians. The British Museum scumbag unsacked Alex.

[Saturday, 29th] Buffy the Vampire (1992, Donald Sutherland, Rutger Hauer) [17:00, Syfy] The most vacuous choice that her mentor could have made wants to be a cheerleader and she doesn't want to spend her time slaying the many vampires, which infest her town. But she's a teenager and she can change her mind.
   Buffy complains that the Watcher isn't doing anything. He tells her that he's a trainer, not a slayer, and he keeps having to do it lifetime after lifetime. There are a lot of vampires to be slain everywhere after dark; some new, some who've been around for centuries.
   One of the ancients slays the Watcher. Buffy is dumped on the day of the big school dance but she has an alternate BF. A gang of vamps turns up to get Buffy. But she gets the better of them and the ancient leader gets the point.
Taggart [Compensation, 21:00, Alibi] Arson/murder in farming country. The dead guy was a loudmouth drunk. He had problems with the food & mouth (of 2001) and the people living in a new estate. After another human fireball, Burke concluded that everyone in the area had a secret. The young farmers kept causing trouble on the new estate. Some of the farmers were selling up and there was a sinister guy called Andrews doing deals.
   Burke discovered that Andrews had been in gaol for intimidation. A farmer called Robertson disappeared some time before; which he had a perfect right to do; but Burke did a lot of moaning at the local bobby for not filing a missing person report. There was another arson attack; Stuart to the rescue; and the intended victim wouldn't talk to Burke.
   Jack Robertson's scorched skull, with 2 bullet holes, was ploughed up by his son. Burke intimidated the arson attack survivor. Jack Robertson deliberately infected his herd with foot & mouth for the compensation; and wiped out everyone else's herd. So he was justifiable homicide. Burke failed to talk Auld Billy, the killer, out of torching himself. So Burke had to go and see his own old curmudgeon of a dad as a penance.

[Sunday, 30th] CFL replay: The Redblacks in Winnipeg [08:00 Winter Time, ESPN] After stopping the RBs, the Bombers got close but were stopped by a pick. The RBs drove to a TD for Burris, +2, 8-0. The BBs started Q2with a punt.
   A 46 yard pass to Jackson got the RBs to the BB 25, 17 yards for Ellingson, a 2-yard walk-in TD for Madu, +2, 16-0. The Bombers punted. So did the RBs but for a rouge. 17-0. The RBs did nothing with another pick. The Bombers kicked a FG with 40 seconds to go. 17-3. The next play by Burris was picked but the RBs picked the ball right back.
   Some punting at the start of Q3; a fake punt by the BBs didn't fool anyone. The Bombers went out on downs again. A big pass to Sinopoli gave him 1,000 yards for the season; 35 yards for Madu to the BB 7, then a FG by the punter (the kicker was injured during the warm-up), 20-3.
   Q4 started with a sack on Nichols. Some punting. A 35 yard pass to Ellingson, a sack on Burris, FG, 23-3. The Bombers were sacked to a punt. The RBs, not really trying, went out on downs at the BB 10. The Bombers scored a cosmetic TD with 10 seconds left. 23-10 final and the Bombers' hopes of being 2nd in the West unrealized.
NFL Sunday: the Redskins & the Bengals @ Wembley [13:30, SS 3] The Skins spent half of the first quarter going to a TD run by Kelly. 7-0. One right back by Bernard for the Bengals, 7-all. The Skins went for 4th & 1 at the CB 23 in Q2: failed.
   The Skins reached the CB 5 but were held to a FG. 10-7. The WR lost a fumble recovery to holding by their defence. A 51 yard FG by the Bengals missed. The Skins were stopped by a pick which was the equivalent of a good punt. The Bengals tried a 55 yard FG at the end of the quarter; short.
   The CB opened their Q3 account with a TD but the PAT missed. 10-13. Cousins was sacked, punt. Lots more AJ Green for the Bengals and a walk-in TD for Dalton. 10-20 after 10 minutes. A spectacular bash into the end zone from 23 yards out for Reed, 17-20. The Bungles were giving up lots of penalties in defence.
   The CB were stopped by a pick at the WR 22 in Q4. TD for Crowder, 24-20. Another outstanding catch by AJ Green, end zone PI, a walk-in TD for Hill. 24-27. Can the Skins score last with a TD for a win? No, a 40 yard TD, 27-all. This was the first match played in the UK to go to OT.
   Holding by the CB let the Skins into FG range, the first kick went through but the Bengals had called a time out. The second kick missed!! 2:09 to go. The Redskins got the ball from a scrum; Fail Mary time: it's a draw! Another first.
MotoGP of Malaysia replay [17:20, BTS 1] The start was delayed by a monsoon, which makes the decision to watch a CFL replay instead of the live race a wise one. Dovizioso was on pole, 19 laps. The Maniac (according to the slogan on his pants) Iannone went into the lead. Crutchlow took 4th from Marquez with 15 laps to go; for a while.
   Crutchlow crashed out with 8 to go. Dovi went past Iannone for 2nd. Marquez went off with 7 to go but rejoined. Dovi shot off into the distance, Rossi was a distant 2nd and Lorenzo inherited such a distant 3rd that he didn't deserve to be on the podium.
Moto3: The first race of the day was on a dry track. Binder was on pole again, 18 laps. There was a MASSIVE crash on lap 1 but no red flag. Bagnaya took the lead. Riders were going off all over the place throughout the race, including Binder. Antonelli crashed out of 3rd.
   Kornfeil and Bendsnyder were running 2nd & 3rd behind Bagnaia when the race was red-flagged after Loi crashed out Herera. The result at the end of lap 13 was taken as the final word.
What will Moto2 do to us? Zarco was on pole for a race which started with a wet track, 19 laps. Lowes was soon on the deck. Morbidelli took a turn out front. Zarco hovered behind him but took the lead with 6 laps to go. Folger went up to 2nd; until a boob took him wide and put him back to 3rd. His 6th win of the season confirmed that Zarco had retained his title, the only rider ever to have done so in Moto2.
More NFL Sunday: Armstrong Athletic @ the Bills. The Bills kicked a FG after 4 minutes. NE replied with a TD. 7-3 with 3 minutes left in Q1. Nearly a TD pass lost to a NE penalty but the TD made half a minute later. 14-3.
   The Bills punted to start Q2. NE were sacked to a punt. And again. The Bills got close thanks to PI by NE; 12 men in the defence! TD for the Bills with a blast play, 14-10. The inevitable TD for Gronk. 21-10. A NE penalty got the BB to FG range but the kick hit the upright. NE were left with a few seconds for a 51 yard FG; which went in off the post. 24-10.
   The Q3 kick off was returned to the BB 24, TD 1 minute in, 31-10. The BB were sacked to a punt, the punter dropped the ball, picked it up and ended up running for a first down! On 4th & short, Taylor just strolled into the NE end zone. 31-17. A lunge to the BB end zone, 38-17. The Bills got close then it all went pear-shaped and they went out on downs in Q4.
   A sack for the Bills. NE kicked a FG whilst my crap Sky Sports internet feed was playing silly buggers. 41-17. A sack for the BB with 3 minutes to go. The BB reached the NE goal line, they were done out of a TD but got a TD on the next play, +2, 41-25 with 30 seconds to go. The End.
Next: The Packers in Atlanta. The Falcons opened the scoring with a FG. The Pack replied with a TD pass to Nelson. 7-3. The Falcons replied with a TD drive. 7-10. The Packers drove into Q2 and finished with a TD for Geronimo Alison from the practice squad. 14-10.
   Another FG for the AF after 6 minutes. The AF had to punt. 55 yard return down the sideline by Davis! Nearly a fumble to the AF but a TD for Davis to close the drive. 21-13. The Falcons scored a TD at the end of the quarter but failed to add +2. 21-19. The packers had about 20 seconds to go. A big run by Rodgers, a pass for Nelson to juggle, on to the AF 21; FG, 24-19.
   Not much of a start to Q3 by the Pack. The Falcons took 3 tries to get into the end zone from the GB 1. 24-26. A heck of a catch by Adams; sack & punt. Same for the Falcons. GB got lucky with a challenge in Q4; the AF done for 12 men. TD for Janis, Rodgers in for +2, 32-26. 4 minutes left. The Falcons ate up clock and scored a TD with 31 seconds left. 32-33 and not enuf time for a GB response.

[Monday, 31st] You bastards! You get up for a 6 a.m CFL match replay and get fucking poker until 6:45. Ta very much, BT Sport for joining a game in progress, 6 minutes into Q2, the Esks driving in Hamilton and 9-11 down. But a FG put them 12-11 up. Collards was back for the Tigercats. They punted but got the ball back by forcing a fumble. But did nothing.
   The Esks started Q3 with a 50+ yards FG. 15-11. A big return of a TC punt got 15 penalty yards added on, to the TC 20, Zylstra to the 1, a long break to extract a wounded TC player, who had collided with a team mate, then Reilly in for a TD, 22-11. No TC offence but Chick of the D got a sack. Then a power failure in Hamilton meant no pictures and the guys in the studio taking up the slack. Reilly made a 1st down run to close Q3.
   The Esks marched to a TD for Walker in q4, 29-11. PI got the TC close, Masoli was stopped twice but Collards came on to throw a TD pass to Toliver on 3rd down. +2, 29-19, 8 minutes to go. A sack for the TC with 2 minutes left, the Esks punted. A lateral across the field gave the TC a big return to the EE 31, PI given after a challenge gave them 1st & goal, TD for Masoli, 29-26. Stoopid, stoopid refs. The kick off from the TC 35 was knocked out of bounds by Bowman, who was at the TC 49 but it was declared an illegal kick off. And the bench was done for protesting; 10 yards. Thanks, said the Esks, who ran out the clock. But the regrettable trend for stoopid or lazy or plain negligent decisions at the end of a match continues.
Mexican Grand Prix [4oD] Hamilton didn't make a bog of the start, and ran off and hid after having to cut the chicane when he couldn't brake in time. Crashes in the pack, Vettel got a puncture, SC for debris on the track. Vettel did his usual job of turning the air blue toward the end of the 71 lap yawn when Verstappen refused to let him be 3rd. First win in Mexico for Hamiltion. Verstappen was done out of his 3rd place by the stewards after the race but before the awards.
Rebus [22:00, Alibi] A world trade summit in Edinburgh so the place was full of the usual suspect scumbag protesters and Special Branch. Sgt. Siobhan dragged Rebus away from a pint for a body near where the summit was being held; SO19 wanted to close down the crime scene as an inconvenience. Another body; suicide off the Castle battlements? Ben had wanted to make a difference in Africa and there was big business involved. Ben's mother was murdered a few years before, a journalist told Rebus, and Ben's sister found the body. Rebus got pally with Stacy.
   The rush to a suicide verdict on Ben got Rebus suspicious. SB shoved him in a cell and his lady boss had to dig him out. SB upset the locall polis up to the deputy commander. SB had lied about the CCTV at the Castle and they got more stroppy when one of their undercovers was blown.
   The journalist told Rebus some murky foreign aid was involved; SB thugs put him in intensive care and stole his laptop. The polis harassed Mrs. Guest, widow of the first dead guy. Siobhan gave Regus a lead. Did Ben kill Guest then himself? Rebus tried to arrest Stacy for getting revenge for her mother, who was killed by Guest. The aid scandal broke in the newspapers and upset SB even more. Stacy turned out to be an SB creature, and she phoned Rebus to tell him she was to be disappeared.