March 2016

[Tuesday, 01st] Castle [21:00, Alibi] Becket is still sneaking around on her covert op and pretending to be detached from Castle. A body at a theatre where Castle's mom was working: Robyn, an ex-con whose mom is a dealer; too obvious. Robyn was part of an ex-con a capella group, which had entered a contest. They pointed a finger at Agnes; too obvious.
   What about the ex-boyfriend? or the other contestants? Robyn overheard an attempt to fix the competition involving the organizer, who didn't want ex-cons in his show. But Robyn went to gaol for someone else's crime. Beckett blackmailed a bent ex-cop to get the identity of the woman involved. She was spotted and busted but she didn't kill Robyn. It was her husband.

[Wednesday, 2nd] What Could Possibly Go Wrong? [20:00, Discovery] A bird-proof drone with weapons? Grant flew the 6-propellor prototype straight into a tree. The guys fitted paint-ball guns and smoke grenades, and cameras for PoV goggles. Cue a death race, which Grant won.
   A mini-golf gadget which scores a hole in one every time? K&G built their own one-hole course. Kevin built a pendulum and calculated a trajectory with 3 bounces; and faileed. Grant used an air gun, tried and failed to map the course with a laser (the sun was too bright) and stole Kevin's maths for his trajectory. And scored 5 consecutive holes in one!!
   A motorbike which can travel on land and water? The guys strapped a bike to the back of a boat to test their scoop rear tyre then attached pontoons, turned the front wheel into a rudder and added a snorkel for the exhaust. 100 yards on land; no problem. Same on water, but Grant got a good soaking from the waterfall kicked up by the rear tyre.
Mythbusters + volunteer helpers [21:00, Discovery] Axe vs gun for killing zombies: viewer had questioned Adam's axe technique, so he had to make it more realistic and more exhausting, and that slowed him down to about the same kill rate as Jamie with a gun.
   The crew built a supermarket to find out if a serpentine system, with customers being directed to the next free till, was faster than letting them join whichever queue looked the faster. Surprisingly, serpentine was a lot slower but the customers liked it better. Myth Busted but Better.
   Zombies at a breach in a fence: Adam managed 67 kills but reloading and jams kept Jamie's score with guns down to 57. Zombies vs Adam with a chainsaw? All the zombies killed!! 190 of them!! The chainsaw rules. Myth Confirmed, BTW.

[Thursday, 3rd] Elementary [21:00, Living] SH's search for his father's potential assassin leads to involvement in a covert operation against drug guys. The inside man, who was going to copy computer files, is done in after lobbying for a raid on the BGs, which would have given him a chance to get to the computer. The cops can search for a guy with a distinctive motorbike; but get the wrong biker.
   Watson does a case for Fiona, whom SH likes. Surprise! The man SH saw shoot Agent Dunning was Agent Dunning! $5.5 million is missing from the BGs' bank accounts! Dunning's partner in crime is a detective. SH works out how she shot the film of her partner's "death" before killing him for real. Then he has coffee with Fiona.
Lie To Me [22:00, Alibi] Cal turns down a chance to interrogate a fugitive's family to chat up some ladies. Then the BG invades his lady assistant's SUV and Cal ends up locked in his office with a hissy criminal threatening to kill him. The guy shoots up Cal's office to persuade him to prove that the BG is innocent of killing his wife. No police, Cal says, and FBI Agent Reynolds goes along with it.
   The wife's ex-employer is accused and questioned. Not him. Eric borrowed 10 grand from Danny. Not him. Two nosy cops stick their noses in briefly. Eric turns even nastier. Eli comes up with a way to trick him and Reynolds plugs Eric a bit. Then the loan shark is done for the murder, which is all Eric's fault.

[Friday, 04th] NCIS [Day In Court, 21:00, FX] Kyle has got away with murder on a technicality because the States Attorney bogged the case against him. His wife has dumped him and his shipmates are harassing him. So he goes to NCIS to demand a court martial to get his day in court.
   Bishop thinks that Jake, her husband, is in trouble with his department's Internal Affairs mob. Kyle lies to Gibbs and ends up in a whole lot of trouble. Gibbs gets Bishop to talk to him. Bishop confronts Jake: he's having an affair. The States Attorney, who bogged up the case, has been tampering with evidence. Kyle is found not guilty of the murder. Bishop goes back home to Oklahoma.

[Saturday, 05th] Nearly a goal for Spurs in the 26th minute of the London Derby match with Arsenal [12:45, BTSport 1] Then 3 bookings in the next 3 minutes. Arsenal went ahead with a cheeky backheel flick after 38 minutes. And they got close a couple more times before half time.
   Spurs produced a shot at goal after 49 minutes. Coquelin got himself sent off in the 54th minute for a stoopid 2nd yellow card. Arsenal down to 10 men. A save of the season by the Arsenal keeper almost immediately. In the net in the 60th minute from a corner. 1-1. Bang! another in a little over a minute later. 2-1.
   Cue some rain to make things even more miserable for Arsenal. Not so miserable after an equalizer in the 75th minute when Spurs lost the plot a bit in defence. 2-2. Spurs should have been down to 10 men for blatant shirt-pulling if the ref had kept his eyes open. Blackout. Then pictures with no sound for the last few minutes before the final whistle. BT Sport hadn't brought along enough shillings for the meter.
The Who Live at Shea Stadium, 1982 [Sky Arts 21:00] Blimey! Don't they look young! was my initial reaction. But then, they were playing New York over 30 years ago and there 3 of the original band on stage. And they'd made their mark on the musical scene, so good to hear all the old favourites, including the CSI tunes.

[Sunday, 06th] Midsomer Murders [Last Year's Model, 19:00, ITV 3] Tom Barnaby rains on a fireworks display to bust the music business tycoon's wife for murder. She murdered her pal Frances to get her husband, sez the prosecutor. Granny Barnaby has broken her arm. DC Jones finds a lady to talk to: Pru, a clinical psychologist, who knows both Barnaby and the defendant. She plants seeds of doubt in Tom about Annie's guilt.
   Annie's husband has a tarty girlfriend. Barnaby spots her in court and realizes she has been prompting the prosecutor. Barnaby finds that a main witness for the prosecution has been swindled out of a lot of money. Dead Frances knew about the dodgy dealings. Is Jamie, the swindler, also a murderer?
   Barnaby shops Jamie to the local press vulture to apply pressure. Old Mrs. Beverley suggests letting Jamie try to kill her, with DC Jones hiding in a cupboard, as a method of entrapment. Jamie is bagged, Jones is promoted to sergeant, Annie is freed and she ditches her treacherous husband.
The Who: Live in Hyde Park (2015) [21:00, Sky Arts] Here we are again, a generation on from last night, and just 50% of the original band left. So lots of music and lots of observations from Pete and Roger about what it's like to be in a band for 50 years!

[Monday, 07th] Crazy Barbara Galivant is in a coma in Gotham General [22:00, Channel 5] The deposed lady mayoress puts out a hit on Jim Gordon. He's attacked by a Thugee, who fails, so a whole gang of killers is sent to the PD. Penguin is stuck in Ed Nygma's care; he wants Penguin's advice on how to be a murderer.
   Bruce Wayne decides to seek Gordon's help. Nygma gives Penguin some backbone. The Chief is severely injured in an attack. Gordon goes after a Mexican bandit and chickens out of killing him. Which lets him kill Officer Parks. Then Galivant's murderous cult arrives in town.

[Tuesday, 08th] Castle [21:00, Alibi] Castle saw a woman murder another woman at a party. Beckett and her spy guy were still after Caleb Brown, who took over the defence of Nina, and tore Castle to bitz on the witness stand. Nina was having an affair with Sadie, her victim. So it was a crime of passion?
   Not good enough for Castle, who bugged the judge to get himself thrown in the cells, where he interrogated Nina. Dead Sadie could have been after Roger's DNA for a paternity test. No, Roger's infertile. Sadie wanted a fingerprint to get into his safe.
   Roger stole millions in cash in Iraq when he and Sadie were there? No, Sadie did and he was trying to blackmail more out of her because Mrs. Roger kept blowing all his cash. Eventually, Castle shopped Sadie's husband as the killer and Nina got off.

[Wednesday, 09th] What Could Possibly Go Wrong? [20:00, Discovery] A motorcycle chariot? Going faster than 21 mph? Grant strapped a 200 cc bike to his chariot and Kevin used a pair of small bikes. Throttle problems put Grant into a very painful crash and Kevin zoomed to an easy victory.
   Could a suitably greased Kevin do the Alcatraz swim in water at 54 deg.F? He tested various types of grease in a cold bath then did it for real. Grant tried to build an inflatable boat but his paddles failed. Kevin's core temperature ended up over 15 deg.F lower at the end of it but he did manage the swim successfully.
   A 12-foot by 24-foot air-hockey table, on which our heroes could stand and bat the floating puck around with bins? No problem and a 3-1 win for Grant.
Mythbusters: the last fan complaints [21:00, Discovery] The San Francisco Drift myth: the fans complained that A&J did it on tarmac instead of dirt. But there was no difference between Jamie's steering on dirt and Adam's drifting, so Myth Still Busted.
   Will a lighter really stop a .22 rifle round? No. What about a ricochet? Yes, a bounced .22 round was stopped. Myth Plausible. Is a fish-tank bulletproof? Adam was hit by bounced back bird-shot but Buster was unharmed. Same with buckshot and also a deer slug.
   Will the blast waves from 2 explosions cancel each other out? The guys put a raft of transducers on a lake and let off one bang as a control. Then the let off 2 blasts, one on either side of the raft, and the peak pressure at the centre was double the single blast value. Myth Busted.
Rizzoli & Isles [22:00, Alibi+1] Jane was being stalked by some unknown person and Maura was kidnapped and chained to a radiator somewhere grotty. Forensics said she was in an abandoned government building.
   The perp was a prison shrink. He was tracked down and shot but he was working for someone who is really pissed off with Rizzo, she concluded. Maura was fairly undamaged by her ordeal.

[Thursday, 10th] Elementary [21:00, Living] Watson found that she and SH had noisy neighbours because he had upset the guy next door. A group was poisoned at a mushroom tasting. SH assumed the professor who gave it was the target. The poison was synthetic death cap poison rather than an extract from mushrooms. SH found a back yard drug lab.
   The owner was making counterfeit expensive pills. Not the killer of Charlotte, his partner-in-crime. SH followed the money trail. Charlotte had been trying to get cash owed to her for inventing a biofuel process. SH homed in on her estranged husband. Then Watson made peace with the neighbour.
Lie To Me [22:00, Alibi] Terry, an old mate, dragged Cal into an illegal card game, saying he needed him to win 12 grand when he was really in a hole for 95 grand to a psychopath. The rest of the gang had to assess the seriousness of a threat to blow up a school. Agent Reynolds got the hump about the gambling. The psycho wanted Cal to do a job for him and gave him a rat test.
   A bullied fat girl at the school tried to kill herself. Cal just got deeper and deeper into bother. The psycho was buying counterfeit currency. The teacher, who made the fat girl a target, was busted. The Feds crashed the psycho's party after Cal had been shot? No, it was all a trick and he ended up even with Terry.

[Friday, 11th] NCIS [Blood Brothers, 21:00] There's a Quinn with leukemia. His mom is told that his sister has been killed in action and he needs a bone marrow donor. Bishop is chopping wood in Oklahoma. NCIS has to find estranged Sean Quinn, who has bad counterfeit cash; $100K of it; in his pad. The Feds have Sean. No, his handler's dead and Sean has gone.
   Bishop tries talking a Marine gaoled for killing insurgents to do the decent thing. He says he wants to walk in return for his bone marrow. Sean is recaptured shot, and he's no good as a donor. The guy in gaol won't get his deal. Lots of Bishop and family. The counterfeiter is busted and Bishop talks the guy in gaol round. Then FBI Agent Fornell takes Dinbozo home for Thanksgiving dinner.

[Saturday, 12th] Midsomer Murders [The Night of the Stag, 21:00, ITV 3] VATman Peter Slim is missing and there's a spring fair. It's a mad-house with the temperance gang doing a cabaret. The sweet cider is off, John Barnaby finds out the hard way; Slim is in the vat! He was trying to hunt down the stiff for the local hooch and he was killed by a 40-foot giant, the pathologist decides.
   DS Jones finds the still and the temperance nutter attacks the bootlegger, who has to be busted. Adding on a murder charge is plain daft. Slim's car is found, and the murder weapon. The Frenchie cider bloke has a bonfire of the contents of his still; he's been working a tax scam to keep his failing business afloat.
   There's going to be a Stag on Beltain involving the villages in adjacent valleys. Barnaby drops a duff murder charge on the tax-dodger just over half-way through. The bootlegger gets his revenge on the temperance guy. Barnaby's murder charge goes up in smoke.
   The Rev. Walker is done in next. Village drunks go on a rampage over the hill. Barnaby chucks another murder charge; at the pub landlord this time. Back-up takes its time to rescue Barnaby and Jones from a hostile mob with weapons.

[Sunday, 13th] Midsomer Murders [Dance with the Dead, 19:00, ITV 3] Frances, out running, finds a body at the abandoned airfield, where her ancient aunt leaves clothes and food for a brother who didn't come home in 1944. Simon the suicide was murdered and there's no sign of his drinking companion. Bashed with a blunt instrument, sez the doc. Tom Barnaby goes after the light-fingered Laura, his girlfriend.
   Sleazy Tony, husband of Frances, tries to crash the crime scene. Hooray! He's done in after a 1940s do at the village hall. Barnaby goes around accusing people. The creepy photographer has millions of pix of Laura. Carol, Laura's landlady, is lured to the airfield but survives an attack. The lady at the kennels, one of Laura's employers, is busted and tells the cops where she buried the body.
Carry On Forever [21:00, ITV 3] is a series going through the canon. This episode started with Carry On Spying and worked through Cleo, Cowboy, Screaming!, Don't Lose Your Head, Follow That Camel, Doctor, Up the Khyber and Camping. Stills, clips from the films and comments from the few survivors of the era. Great fun.

[Monday, 14th] Hooray! The last of the X-Files [21:00, Channel 5] Dork forces! Threatened by Scurrilous and Muldoon. Secrets kept from the American people by a power-hungry cabal with a dork plan. And Dr. Scurrilous has been given alien DNA. Now tremble on . . .
   Shock, horror! Almost all Americans are susceptible to an alien plague. Has Muldoon been grabbed? No, there he is, in his car, not answering his phone, looking a bit battered. Is there a global contagion? Agent Monica spills some beans about the festering head bad guy's plan to kill everyone but a favoured few. Like Scurrilous.
   Why didn't Muldoon shoot the HBG in the leg a few times to get his attention? Can Dr. Scurrilous save the world? Cue some aliens in a flying saucer. The End.
Gotham [22:00, Channel 5] It's chucking it down for the funeral of the young lady cop Jim Gordon got killed last week. The mad monks are killing muggers and other scum. Jim and Harve go after them. Bruce and Silver are kidnapped for info on what Galivant knew about Bruce's parents' killer? No, it's a scam cooked up by Bruce and Selena.
   Alfred, looking for Bruce, gets himself sliced up a bit. Galivant gets off in court thanks to a spot of perjury, so Gordon slugs him. Penguin gets the news. Galivant tells Gordon his agenda and beats him up a bit; Penguin saves Gordon's ass. Then Galivant goes to sort out Bruce Wayne.

[Tuesday, 15th] Castle [21:00, Alibi] Possibly political homicide in a wrecked building. The Russians wanted a KGB stooge to look over Beckett's shoulder. Girov is a big Castle fan. Dead Grigori didn't think his mom's fatal car crash was an accident. Girov pulls strings to get Castle & Beckett working together again.
   Beckett finds that ancient spy stuff is involved, which means that Castle has to deflect Girov whilst she contacts American spies. Girov gets heavy but Castle shows off his better, non-destructive interrogation technique. Someone takes a shot at the Russian Consul General but Beckett saves his ass, upsetting the Russians.
   There's a leak from the consulate. Surprise! Grigori's mom, Anya, ain't dead. The leak is her husband and she tried to plug it with a sniper rifle. He killed Grigori, his step-son. So the Russians send him home to the coldest place on Earth.

[Wednesday, 16th] What Could Possibly Go Wrong? [20:00, Discovery] Kevin wanted to build a submarine out of stuff in his back yard, and Grant decided he had to stay submerged for at least 3 minutes and control his buoyancy. Grant had to push when the propellor motor burnt out but Kevin's sub was a great success and he stayed submerged for 36 minutes.
   How much duct tape does it take to stop a 9 mm round? Kevin thought 50 or fewer sheets. He made a weave of 48 sheets with spacers. Splat! Through to the melon. What about 12 4-sheet weaves spaced out along the bullet's path? Another dead melon. Grant sliced up rolls and made blocks up to 6" thick. It was the 6" block which stopped the bullet @ layer 690.
   Is a super-size wind-up car possible? Kevin's coiled springs vs Grant's rubber bands. Grant's car just made the 25 feet. Kevin's made slow but relentless progress. And he won the world's slowest drag race easily.
Mythbusters [21:00, Discovery] Gummi bears as rocket fuel? A&J hand-filled a rocket motor with bears, filled another with a molten gel and Adam nearly killed himself boiling up bears to get rid of the water and create a hard liquid candy for pouring into the motor. All 3 motors, using liquid oxygen as the oxidizer, failed to launch a rocket off the pad. And using a conventional paraffin wax motor raised the rocket to only 690 feet. A hybrid system was no good.
   Adam dehydrated more gummis and sent his powder off to a company making solid-fuel motors. Jamie did the same with a mess of dog poop; his argument being that astronauts in space have no use for the stuff, so if it can be used as a fuel, that's a bonus.
   A control rocket motor reached 4,133 feet in windy conditions. Test 2 reached 4,491 feet in still conditions. The gummi motor did 3,691 feet and the dog poop did 2,900 feet. Myth Plausible as a rocket fuel but there are much better alternatives available.
Rizzoli & Isles [22:00, Alibi+1] Robbery with murder at the Pot Palace; the guard and the owner shot and a dead BG. Jane is camping at Maura's place and not having her head shrunk. No luck with finding whoever has it in for Jane. A visiting cop joins the search for whoever's raiding legal pot shops. The guys popped by his sting deny doing the Pop Palace raid. Maura gets stoned testing the dope in evidence.
   Otis was using street as well as state pot? His wife had a ton of cash stashed in a deposit box; her running away cash. Her boyfriend is the BG who got away and he's scammed into trying to kill Otis in the hospital. Then it's back to Jane's psychiatric problems.

[Thursday, 17th] Elementary [21:00, Living] Murder of Chinese drug dealers by a little old lady? SH tapped up the local Triad boss, who sold the dead guys protection. He had an alibi. The "old lady" also mugged a 4th guy. The Triad guy was told that the killer was a white man in a Chinese disguise. Watson got info of a sort from the Chinese lady who'd been impersonated.
   The killer was a master of disguise. His dad told SH that he got his addictive personality from his mother. A suspect didn't confess to Watson's satisfaction. So the real killer got a trip to the mortuary for some questioning to jolt him out of his comfort zone. Then SH gave his dad some home truths.
Lie To Me [22:00, Alibi] A guy got a Happy New Year beating. 11 months later, he went into Witness Protection and got blown away arriving at his safe house. Agent Reynolds was the next witness, so Cal took him hostage. Cal spotted the bent Federal Marshall right off then he went to talk to Elliot Green, the Big Bad Guy, who was sure he was going to get off.
   Green mentioned "Scotty" and Reynolds refused to testify. No surprise that Reynolds told Cal he had to kill Scotty in self defence but his handler removed the report from the case file. Cal called him pathetic to make Reynolds get creative. Reynolds' handler denied being told about the Scotty killing so Cal did a number on her. So she explained her motive: she just put the case before Reynolds.

[Friday, 18th] NCIS [Spinning Wheel, 21:00, FX] Bishop was back. Dead Marine in an alley and Duckie tied up in a van at the scene; mugged by a bogus lawyer, who allegedly wanted info on Duckie's supposedly dead brother. A Rufus was found hanged; but drowned first. The attempted kidnapper was suspected. Duckie had no idea why this guy was killed.
   Lots and LOTZ of flashbacks to the mists of the 20th century when Duckie and his bro were young officers. Abby found that a letter written by the brother was only 3 weeks old, proving he wasn't dead. Rare UK stamps were trotted out. Surprise! Another Mallard was found; same name but not Duckie's brother. No, Gibbs found him in a home with dementia.

[Saturday, 19th] F1 Qualifying in Australia replay [12:10, Sky Sports F1] Not a spectacle, no last-minute scramble and tension, all rather meh. But Lewis Hamilton is on pole, so that's something.
Asteroid vs Earth (2014) [19:00, Syfy] A guy spots a meteor heading for Earth; it's one-quarter the diameter of the Moon. Then Marissa (the Relic Hunter lady) meets Chase and they're kidnapped by the US military, who want her minisub and he's a naval commander with a job on a submarine. General Mathieson is also activated.
   The Russians are unhelpful. The kid who spotted the rock says it's too big to destroy with nukes. He proposes triggering a R18 earthquake in a Pacific trench to move the Earth out of the steroid's path. Blashkol! Wouldn't it be easier to feed the steroid to a sharknado?
   Marissa thinks the earthquake plan could kill over 50% of the people on the planet; compared to 100% for a steroid strike. Lots of panic and faffing about when a volcano spouts off at a nuclear store. Shooting missles at the steroid doesn't work and the Chinese get obstructive.
   Hong Kong is splatted! Good! The Universe throws all sorts of stuff at the sub. The ceiling falls on the kid who spotted the rock. The first quake is only R16. So the Marines have to arse around in a minefield on the way to tossing nukes into a volcano to make the steroid miss.
Pink Floyd Live in Pompeii [21:00, Sky Arts] ©1971, so all the stuff is pre DSOTM.
David Gilmour Live in Danzig [21:00, Sky Arts] to celebrate the 26th anniversary of the foundation of Soldarity, the Polish trade union resistance to Russian oppression. ©2008, so more up to date.

[Sunday, 20th] Australian Grand Prix [13:00, Sky Sports F1] Hamilton on pole, Kvyat's car croaked at the end of the warm-up lap, sending them round again. The Mercedes has a crap start, letting the Ferraris get past. Hamilton dropped to 6th. He was 4th on lap 4/57. The safety car was booked on lap 18 when Alonso tagged Gutierez and flew, rolled and bounced across gravel to pretty well total destruction of the car against the barrier. Alonso staggered clear and the race was red-flagged.
   Vettel was still ahead at the restart and Hamilton was 7th. Raikkonen's Ferrari croaked on lap 23 with flames lapping his helmet. Vettel lost the lead to Rosberg and Hamilton reached 2nd. Vettel closed on Hamilton in the last stages and he was right on his tail with 5 laps to go. A spot of grass-tracking on lap 56 removed the threat from Vettel and we had another Mercedes 1-2. Button was 14th so the McLaren is still crap.
Fenati was on pole for Moto3 in Qatar [14:45, BT Sport 2] Oooh! Aaarh! Lots of close racing right from the start, massive slipstreaming at the end of each lap. Fenati blew it going into the last lap. Antonelli was behind Binder at the last turn but he took the race on the line by millimetres.
Moto2 [16:20, BT Sport 2] Folger was on pole, Lowes 2nd. Lots of jump starts, most of them totally bogus and badly applied. Lowes was one who got a ride-through, so that was his hopes shattered. Rins and Zarco, too. Folger crashed out with a 4.5 second lead putting Morbidelli and Luthi swapping the lead with 18 laps to go.
   Alex Marquez crashed with 14 laps to go. Kent was 7th with 5 laps to go. Morbidelli got a very belated 20-second penalty so Luthi was handed a win; which he achieved on the track anyway. Kent was 6th and Lowes 9th, and the race was ruined by fucking stupid application of the jump-start rule. 11/21 riders suffered.
MotoGP [18:00, BT Sport 2] Lorenzo was on pole for 22 laps and held the lead. Iannone and Dovizioso both took him going into lap 2. Marquez closed to 4th. Iannone fell off with 17 laps to go. Crutchlow went on the next lap. Lorenzo retook the lead. Marquez went up to 2nd with 4 laps to go. Dovi took the place going into the last lap and reclaimed it when Marquez overtook him for a while.
Lesbian Vampire Killers [21:00, Syfy] I had an idea I'd seen this before but I didn't remember what it was about. Lesbian vampires who are killers was too obvious because that's what vampires of all persuasions do. So it had to be about either lesbians who kill vampires, or killers who concentrate on lesbian vampires. The abundant bad language wore out the TV's bleep function but I now know it's the latter.

[Monday, 21st] Gotham [22:00, Channel 5] Galivant kidnapped Bruce Wayne so that the mad monks could murder him at midnight. Alfred was buried a bit at the dump avoiding the killer bitch and Galivant's goons. Gordon woke up at Nygma's place; Penguin wanted to work with him. Galivant ordered Silver to vamp BW or else. Alfred tried to raise the alarm about BW but a dumb cop tasered him.
   The Captain made Jim Gordon Public Enemy No. 1. Dr. Lee, Gordon's girlfriend, is pregnant. Silver failed to escape with BW. Gordon joined Penguin's expedition to Galivant's to save BW. Selena joined in. Mr. Fox tricked the cops into joining in. Galivant shoved Silver out of a window then his sister ditched him and Gordon busted him.
   Penguin appealed to Gordon's better nature, so Gordon let him batter Galivant a bit before he shot the mayor like a rabid animal. The corpse was delivered to the weird Miss Peabody at the morgue, so, no doubt, Galivant will be making another appearance resurrected.

[Tuesday, 22nd] Castle [21:00, Alibi] Castle reckons he's going to collaborate with Stephen King. Meanwhile, Emma, the TV lady, is dead. Castle is taken to Planet Weird with 2 other suckers. It's some sort of daft game. Emma was messing with old video tapes. One of Castle's trio ended up shooting himself with a trick gun loaded with blanks.
   Experiments on children 25 years ago are at the heart of the Emma case. Beckett ends up trapped with Castle and 4 others. Castle spots the guy who was driven nuts 25 years ago. So he's taken out. Pretty crap episode all-round.

[Wednesday, 23rd] What could possibly go wrong? [20:00, Discovery] A giant tyre monocycle. First, some tyre bowling to pick the right one. Downhill was too dangerous so K&G tried on the flat with a motor and a target of 20 mph. Grant was too light but Kevin managed to hit 21 mph without gerbilling. And stopped 4" from someone else's car!
   An F1 storm with a tornado and fake snow in Kevin's garage? Plus lightning! Grant realized it would be gnarly and got himself wounded in action. Mayhem + 77 mph winds and the rest. Lastly, life-size fighting robots for a boxing match. Grant scored 2 head-busters but Kevin claimed victory for his chainsaw and a TKO.
Mythbusters the penultimate [21:00, Discovery] Adam went to the internet and the fans for inspiration. Is a fart visible to thermal imaging? Adam built a fart machine. Nothing visible emitted. How about doing it in a freezer truck at -10 deg.F with farts at body temperature? Still nothing. The viral video was faked. Myth Busted.
   Can Buster in an inflatable hamster ball survive a drop from a helicopter at 1,000 feet? Buster alone bounced dramatically and croaked after hitting the ground at 120 mph. Into the inflatable ball for the next drop. Much better bounce; Buster hit the ground at 56 mph. Buster was just as dead, though. What about a ball padded with bubblewrap? The bounce was much the same and Buster croaked again. Myth Busted.
   Is punching your way out of a paper bag easy? Jamie built some big enough for Adam with arms outstretched and he took punching lessons. His 600 lb punches took over a minute to break him free wearing boxing gloves. Without them, he was free in seconds. Myth Confirmed.
   Finally, exploding an inflatable cartoon Snoo containing paint and glitter using det. cord. It looked okay on the high-speed but not so much in real time. More of a phut than a last big bang, lads
Rizzoli & Isles [22:00, Alibi+1] Kidnapping and murder by sackman? The cops arrived at the crime scene 5 days later; an abandoned building taken over by an outfit giving paying customers a fright experience. Jane found that the "blood" was fake. No one had missed the dead woman. Frankie booked a fright to get in touch with the frightsters.
   One of the hacker's victims gave up a Reilly to the IT lady cop. He was busted but he denied being the hacker. Too young to be the main guy, Maura decided. Bagman struck again and Jane plugged him a bit. He was after the lady who sacked him from a job he got using his brother's identity. Sgt. Korsak proposed in his bar and Jane moved out of Maura's place.

[Thursday, 24th] Elementary [21:00, Living] New York justice! A guy who stole a parking place is flattened by a female jumper from a 10th floor balcony! The lady had dementia and SH says murder. Capt. Gregson is dumped by a bent ex-cop, who was forced to quit. The lawyer gets the old lady's estate but he says she was too hard-assed to be bamboozled. Watson confronts the ex-girlfriend.
   SH comes up with the idea of air rights and brings a monstrous skyscraper into the equation. The guy leading the protest campaign against the building was killed earlier. Watson uncovers a spy, who was leaking from the architect's office.
   The ex-GF tells Gregson she's just been diagnosed with MS. SH does some burglary and comes up with what the case is really about; the design had to be shrunk because the original plan was defective. The architect was killing people to cover up his blunder. Gregson tells Watson about his friend's medical problems.
Lie To Me [22:00, Alibi] Big crowd for a big sale, the punters go nuts and the store faces a $20M bill. A kid tells Cal he's James Knox, stolen by his "parents". Eli has to save the store money by finding out who caused the stampede, and make lots of cash for Cal. Mrs. Knox admits her boy drowned by accident, he wasn't kidnapped.
   Max's parents admit he was adopted illegally. Max meets his mom? No, Cal spots that she's lying. She saved a baby her dealer was going to kill. Max runs away and FBI agent Reynolds busts his parents. Eli spots the guy who triggered the stampede but blows the whole deal, so no pay-day for Cal. Cal find's Max's father; he was kidnapped by a guy who murdered his mother and put his dad in a wheelchair.

[Friday, 25th] NCIS [Deja Vu, 21:00, FX] It's 20-below so frozen garbage with a frozen body in it. Bishop is writing a letter to a dead president. Just like Hawkeye in M*A*S*H. Is there nothing scriptrotters won't recycle?
   The body is a dead sailor. She was due to testify in a murder case but the gang-banger didn't kill Ramos, Gibbs decided. Ramos was at a concert with another girl, who's missing. Bishop sees a link with an old NSA human trafficking case and calls in old colleagues.
   8 women disappeared recently, including Ramos & Murphy. One of Bishop's old colleagues was murdered. A couple of traffickers were shot on a ship and the girls were rescued. Then Bishop shot a dirty former colleague a bit before he was busted.

[Saturday, 26th] Midsomer Murders [Blood on the Saddle, 19:00, ITV 3] A cowboy rode into a village, stomped into a house and murdered Danny. Mrs. Barnaby was much better than Tom at the Wild West Fair. DS Jones had his car damaged by a reckless driver with a shotgun in the back; who wasn't busted!! There was some sort of land deal going on.
   The witch was dunked once too often and ended up dead? No, she was shot from long range. She was the Sheriff Fincher's farm manager and mistress. Was the lady who should have been on witch duty then the real target? Fincher murdered her dog called Danny.
   There was a gang of gypsies after the land. Fincher was done in next. The rival claimant to The Swamp offered it to the gypsies at his price. An old bloke was battered but not to death. The drunken family solicitor tried to swindle Mrs. Fincher. Barnaby got his eyes tested by the Billy the Kid the optician.
   Jude, the old bloke who was attacked, disappeared. And Fincher's thug of a son was done in. And the solicitor. The widow decided to leave the area. Billy the Kid the optician started shooting. Barnaby accused the widow of being in cahoots with him. The widow as after the farm as prime development land. The armed response team arrived way too late; long after the BG had been neutralized.
The Heat (2013) [21:00, Channel 4] At an FBI bust, the blokes with the dog thinks the place is clean. So the sassy female agent finds the drugs and a stash of guns. And there's a fat and sassy lady detective. The Fed upsets the cop by questioning one of her prisoners, then realizes that she needs the fat, foul-mouthed freak's local knowledge of Boston. They tangle with an albino DEA agent, who looks as evil as shit, and his sidekick. They try to shove the ladies aside. Fat chance.
   Wayne is blown up instead of the ladies. The cop's brother comes unstuck and ends up in hospital, so she breaks up the partnership. But not for long. The lady Fed becomes as foul-mouthed as the cop.
   One of the DEA assholes is working with Larkin, the drug bad guy. No, the sidekick is Larkin and he shoots the albino. He then heads to the hospital to kill the cop's brother, so the lady Fed shoots him in the dick; something which the lady cop is always threatening to do but with an empty gun.

[Sunday, 27th] Sherlock [19:00, Alibi] Did he die? The explanations offered by Sherlo Combs are BS but the fact remains, he's still alive and Watson was bamboozled. SH is somewhere Russianish in the East when Mycroft tracks him down with a yarn about a terrorist plot against London. SH turns up to haunt Watson as he's about to propose to Mary. Watson clobbers SH a few times but Mary talks him round.
   SH sees no sign of Mycroft's terrorist attack. A guy who studies the Tube system via CCTV spots a disappearing passenger. SH knows the face. Watson is kidnapped. SH saves him from a fiery finish on a bonfire. The disappearing guy works for Overseas Development and spies for N. Korea.
   SH spots that the Underground is the key to the terror plot, which is Guy Fawkes revisited. SH & Watson find the bomb and they're trapped inside it! There's an off-switch and Watson has to find it.

[Monday, 28th] McAigret Sets A Trap [21:00, ITV 1] There has been a string of murders in Paris over the last 5 months and the police are getting nowhere. Politicians are flapping like wet hens. The killer is killing women but with no discernable pattern. McAigret decides to nark the killer by pretending to have caught somone, who will steal his glory.
   The streets are flooded with coppers and female targets. The killer strikes, fails and escapes, but the lady copper target gets a button and a chunk of his jacket: English and quality. McAigret is told that he's going to be dumped off the case in the morning. So it's time to put on a bit of a spurt.
   Curses! The cops go after the guy with the right suit but he says he gave it to a tramp. He's busted anyway. There's another murder; same weapon, somewhat different M.O. McAigret plays off the wife against the suspect's mother to get the killer of the latest victim. Then he chucks his prisoner in the river because he's clearly in Seine.
Gotham [23:00, Channel 5+1] Gordon tells a version of Galivant's fate and gets his name cleared. The Captain is still out ot get him. Butch is now the King of Gotham. Mr. Freeze zaps a cop. Using super-cooled liquid helium, Mr. Nygma decides. The Captain nails the Penguin, who confirms Gordon's story.
   Mr. Freeze has a dying wife and he's trying to find a way to freeze and revive her. His experiments on Gotham's citizens aren't working. Penguin ends up in the Gotham Asylum. A pharmacist upsets Freeze and pays the price. The cops find the Freeze residence and threating the dying Norah with gaol. She refuses to talk.
   Victor goes to the PD to confess and finds a gang of others have already done so. The pharmacists survives thawing out, so Victor Fries hops off. The Asylum shrink is in cahoots with Miss Peabody.

[Tuesday, 29th] Castle [21:00, Alibi] Castle needed a case to investigate. He crashed Beckett's snake-pit murder, and got to join in undercover at a language school. It's the fake Geordie episode. Castle's assistant was called in to translate this nothing like a Geordie guy for the PD. The cops thrashed around looking for whoever killed Eddie, who did some shaking down for some female.
   Eddie was a very helpful guy. The cops harassed a money launderer and get shot at a bit. The Feds, after the same guy, got cute so Beckett got cuter. She told Castle he's not dashing off to Korea.
   There was a dirty judge involved in shaking down illegal immigrants. The Feds were after him, the cops couldn't so Castle went after him too. The language-school teacher was busted for the murder and he stitched the judge up good and proper.

[Wednesday, 30th] What Could Possibly Go Wrong? [20:00, Discovery] It's Xmas, so a real flying Santa sleigh? Lots of balloons for safety, said Kevin. Trying to fly Grant on a windy day was a terrible idea. After building the sleigh, Kevin decided to decorate a Xmas tree in under 90 seconds using maple syrup to make the tree sticky and an air cannon. Let's see him get the stuff off the tree for next year!
   The idea was to tow the balloon-lifted sleigh along the streets of Kevin's home town whilst he hurled presents with parachutes to kids. Grant killed Santa whilst testing the towing rig with a parachute. Kevin made some fake snow for his house. On the day, it was too windy to go round the streets so the guys delivered their presents to kids in a car park.
The Last Ever Mythbusters [21:00, Discovery] First up, a monster explosion filmed at 50,000 frames/second. An RV became history. Then Jamie told us there are 8,500 kiloJoules of energy in a pound of candy bars. That's 8.5 MILLION Joules. More than dynamite pound for pound. Yeah, right, Hyneman!
   Next, Buster's last stand on a rocket sled which hit a wall at supersonic speed. A 5 MILLION Joule impact, we were told. Which leaves us wondering why the guys didn't strap 6⅔ Mars bars onto Buster instead of using all those dangerous rockets.
   Adam crashed a truck with Jamie's mega-wedge on the front through 14 years of Mythbusters' props. Must have taken al while to clear that up. Finally, there was no high-speed of the original cement truck explosion, so 5,001 lbs of ANFO and omission repaired.
Mythbusters: The Reunion [22:00, Discovery} Grant, Kari and Tory, the Juniors, returned for a round-table discussion of greatest hits with tributes from various fans.

[Thursday, 31st] Elementary [21:00, Living] A bloke fleeing for his life is hit by a truck; the son thinks it's murder, not a jogging accident. The pursuer was a big bloke, SH decides. Charles Baskerville (ah-ha!) was getting lots of on-line death threats and he was well known for patent-jacking, so lots more suspects there. His lab made a dog that glows in the dark! But that's not the Hound of the Baskervilles.
   Henry, the son, is attacked by a monster and SH tells him how to save himself. The 'hound' is a robot built for the US military using 7 different jacked patents. By a company run by Stapleton, a cousin and potential heir to the Baskerville fortune.
   But is there another heir from the wrong side of the blanket? Yes, and her murder plan to inherit is elaborate and dastardly, but doomed with SH on the job. At the end, the PTSD ME follows SH's advice and takes a break.
Lie To Me [22:00, Alibi] Two US Marines are missing in Afghanistan but the local forces have a prisoner; an American who went over to the Taliban. He sez he knows where the missing men are. Cal has to go over there to find out if the bloke is lying and not tell his daughter. Despite his best efforts, a rescue squad is ambushed. Emily gets brattish when Cal and his escorts come under fire.
   The rescue goes off and Dr. Foster finds that the CIA lost the defector and abandoned him, assuming he was dead. The defector has a tracking device in him, some battlefield surgery finds. Cal gets home okay and he defies the CIA stooge and insists on telling the defector's family what happened to him.

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