html> Mr. W's TV Reviews : July, 2016
July 2016

[Friday, 01st] TNF replay, the RedBlacks in Montreal [13:00, ESPN] Harris was still in for Burris, the visitors 2 & oat. The next RB drive went to a missed FG. 1-0. The next one survived Harris recovering his own fumble but Sinopoli coughed it up at the end of a huge pass play. The Als levelled the scores with a punt. 1-1, and Glenn was injured. But he was back for Q2.
   A missed FG gave the Als a point. 1-2. A solid drive from the RBs gave them a TD but no +2. 7-2. With 2 minutes left, another TD pass to a wide open Jackson was lost to an interference challenge. Harris was sacked but his next TD throw, to Ellingson, stuck. 14-2. A 52 yard FG for the Als closed the half at 14-5.
   The Als missed a FG try 4 minutes into Q3 and the RBs returned the ball. Finally, a TD pass to Carter, who made a spectacular catch then felled the RB coach and was chucked out of the match! So much for Canadians being terminally nice. But he must be an American. 14-13 after a rouge from the kick off. The RBs kicked a FG. 17-13.
   The RBs kicked another FG 4 minutes into Q4. 20-13. More Chris Williams for the RBs then bang! A TD for him, wide open, after 6 minutes. 27-13. The Als were stopped by a pick. A rouge for the RBs with a couple of minutes left. 28-13 final and the RedBlacks looking fairly unstoppable.
A Town Called Eureka pilot [18:00, Pick] US Marshall Jack Carter gets stuck in the weird town of geniuses, and he saves the world whilst meeting all of the main characters, which include the sinister Beverley, who'd up to no good and not bothered about killing people. Jack's reward is promotion; to sheriff of Eureka.
CFL replay [21:30, ESPN] What do you get when you switch on for a replay of the Argos @ the Riders? The 11th inning of the Indians live against the Blue Jays and the score at 1-1. They were still at it at midnight, when I baled out, having been crapitudinous for 17 innings. Useless bunch of useless buggers. Is that any way to treat us on Canada Day?

[Saturday, 02nd] It's Canada Day 149 + 1 day and time for a replay of the BC Lions @ the Hamilton TigerCats [13:00, ESPN] Gale-force winds and sun in Hamilton. A sack on Masoli held the TC to a missed FG. 0-1. A miss by BC in reply, 1-1. The Cats fumbled the ball away immediately, BC at their 38 and a FG that scored. 4-1. A rouge the other way from a punt that went 86 yards with the wind! 4-2.
   In Q2, a promising BC drived ended with a missed FG kick. 5-2. A big pass play to Gore plus a penalty put BC at the TD 4½ line but the TC gained a fumble recovery after a challenge. They surrendered a safety instead of punting. 7-2. The Cats finished the half with another missed FG try and got nothing when Rainey ran the ball out of the end zone to midfield.
   In Q3, Moore had a highlight reel catch and BC kicked a FG. 10-2. Then a pick by Phillips in Hamilton territory, penalty after penalty on the Cats inside their 5, TD for Murray-Lawrence, 17-2. Then a point from the kick off. 18-2. The Cats had to punt but got the ball back from a fumble. On to a sack and a missed FG. 18-3.
   In Q4, the first sack of the night for the Cats. Halfway through, a TD catch, Jennings to Arcenaux in the end zone, 25-3. BC returned a fumble to the TC 35 and kicked a FG. 28-3 with 3 minutes left. Another pick by BC. The End.
Next up, the Bombers in Calgary [15:30, ESPN] The Bombers tried a fake field goal to make a 3rd down; it flopped. The Stamps replied with a FG after 7 minutes. 0-3. At the end of the quarter, the Stamps had a FG try blocked and the ball was returned to their 2. A 1-yard sneak by Nichols in Q2 put the Bombers 7-3 ahead.
   Another FG for the Stamps after 5½ minutes, 7-6. The Stamps scored a TD with 4 minutes left but couldn't manage +2. 7-12. A triffic end zone catch by Charbonneau in the last minute of the half put the Stamps 7-20 ahead with a point from the kick off. Bad clock management did the Bombers out of a FG try.
   In Q3, the Stamps' ground game took off, FG, 7-23. A one-handed, 38-yard TD catch for West? No, he was down at the BB 1, so a TD for Buckley on the next play. 7-30. A 53-yard run by Messam got the Stamps to the BB 25, on to a TD for McDaniel, the PAT missed, 7-36.
   In Q4, a TD, Willy to Adams, made it 14-36 with 9 minutes left. Plus another point from the kick off, 15-36 and the Bombers 3 majors behind. J. Davis scored a TD with 3 minutes left for 22-36. The next Bombers' drive began at their 1 and went out on downs at the CGY 20. The End.
Germania vs Italia [20:00, BBC 1] The Blues were threatening initally. One of the Germans was successfully crippled before the quarter hour, but the Germans looked the more threatening; in a no chance of anyone ever scoring sense. The Germans got the ball in the net after 26 minutes but didn't get a goal on thuggism grounds. The Italians bogged up 2 chances in the 43rd minute.
   The Jairmans knocked one in with 25 minutes left. A penalty for Italy after 77 minutes made it 1-1. Extra time. Yawn. Penalties. Who cares who wins? What utter crap the "shoot-out" was.
   The end to the match looked like there had been a back-stage coin toss, which Germany won, and the players were playing silly buggers on the field to express their contempt for the dodgy deal. It worked as a Monty Python sketch but not as a serious footballing event. Time to get on the phone to the Guinness Book of Records to book an entry in the worst ever penalties contest category.

[Sunday, 03rd] Austrian GP [13:00, Sky Sports F1] Hamilton on pole, Button on the 2nd row!! And he was up to 2nd right away. Raikkonen didn't get past him until lap 7, when Button's tyres were shot. Vettel went out on lap 27 from the lead. A rear tyre exploded and he whizzed across the track into the barriers. Shudda had a pit stop. Safety Car.
   Hamilton took the lead from Rosberg on the last lap and won. Rosberg drove him off the track but damaged his front wing in the process. Verstappen was 2nd and Raikkonen 3rd. Button was 6th and the stewards were on Rosberg's case for causing a collision. [He got a 10-second penalty but kept 4th place, so a complete farce. Ed.]
France vs Iceland 20:00, ITV 1] Iceland looked the more threatening at the start but France scored after 13 minute and again after 19 minutes. More goals after 42 and 44 minutes put the French 4-nil ahead. Game definitely over if it wasn't earlier.
   Okay, a cosmetic goal for Iceland after 55 minutes. One back for France 3 minutes later. 5-1. Another cosmetic goal for Iceland made the final score 5-2 on a wet night. It's somewhat reassuring to see a proper team like France able to get the job done; as opposed to a novelty team like Iceland.

[Monday, 04th] A Town Called Eureka [18:00, Pick] A hole in time, clones and a ghost are just some of Sheriff Carter's problems. He also lets Fargo talk him into living in SARAH, the talking former nuclear bunker, where he becomes a guinea pig for Fargo's AI experiments. And after a trying day, Zoe, his daughter turns up after going AWoL from her mother's home.
Dark Matter series 2 [20:00, Syfy] Two, Three and Four have an underwear party then they find themselves guests of the Galactic Authority on a prison moon, from which no one escapes. Six is a GA special investigator, who was undercover. One's laywer turns up demanding his immediate release. Five is being held apart from the rest of the gang. The android refuses to co-operate with GA.
   Three wakes up in the infirmary after customers demand money with menaces. One has inherited his father's company. Four is also attacked. Six is told that justice left GA a long time ago. One finds the company lawyer/stooge obstructing his attempts to dig into his wife's murder and the only witness is conveniently murdered as soon as One asks about him. Four gets to meet one of the prison gang-bosses. Six gets more confirmation that the system is rotten.
   Two might have an ally with a way out of the prison. GA has plans for the four prisoners. A female investigator claims Five. One is shot by the guy whose face he was given.

[Tuesday, 05th] A Town Called Eureka [18:00, Pick] Oh, crap! A 24 hours earlier. Some wiseguy is messing with time and everyone's memory. It's the forcefield scumbag and Dr. Alison is no help. Luckily, there's an 11-year-old genius to put the sheriff on the right track. But GD has Carter locked up, the idiots. Which doesn't stop Kim getting some revenge on the thieving Jason, who stole her life with a gadget stolen from Henry 20 years before.
Ag the Raisin and the Vicious Vet [21:00, Sky 1] There's a new hunky vet and all the ladies are dragging their unfortunate animals to his surgery so they can drool all over him. So the poor sucker is done in after dinner with Ag. Ag tries to put Lord Pendelbury in the frame.
   Mrs. Joseph is done in next. Ag finds the body. A diabetic who made a mistake injecting herself, the cops would have us believe. Really? Ag and the older vet disappear. And Ag's cat. Surprise! The dead vet was a scumbag and it's another case of justifiable homicide.
The Closer [22:00, Alibi] An FBI surveillance crew calls LAPD to an assault. The vic is dead by the time the cops arrive. So Brenda's gang and Fritz's mob get involved in an ass-kicking contest involving 40 big burglaries in LA and the murder. And Brenda's impossible father has cancer, but he's not going to die (soon).
   Brenda gives Agent Fritz a real hard time. So he tries to stitch her up. Then the wife of the dead burglar spoils all the fun by claiming justifiable homicide because he was going to run off with all the loot.

[Wednesday, 06th] Eureka [18:00, Pick] The nerd Spencer vanishes on the day a congressman arrives to put the management in a tail spin over funding. Deputy Jo has the hump because Washington made Carter the sheriff instead of her. Spencer is found naked in a crop circle; abducted by aliens?
   Fargo disappears next. The senator is conspiring with evil Berverley against top nerd Nathan. Jo goes nutz. The sheriff makes a connection with Spencer's pirate film party and natch, he defuses the group turned into nutters by GD.
Euro 2016 semi-final: Wales vs Portugal [20:00, ITV 1] Neither side was in any danger of overwhelming the other lot in the first half. Portugal scored after 49 minutes from a corner. They knocked in another after 52 minutes. Bye-bye Wales. The Ports fell over a lot through the rest of the episode, time-wasting by soliciting free kicks. No more goals.
Limitless finale [21:00, Sky 1] Brian had to find out what Sands was up to. Even if NZT killed him. He spotted a suspect. Cue a rooftop chase. The suspect gave up a name; a Canadian who went out of a 16th floor window before the Feds got to him. Brian went home to explain himself to his dad. Then he came up with a rival to the Panama canal.
   Curiously, Sands was trying to sabotage the treaty to make the waterway happen. Brian realized he was trying to create a market bubble for short-term profit. The key negotiator was shot under the noses of the FBI. The BGs' lab was busted and blown up and Agent Rebecca got to shoot Sands. Brian failed to save Piper, the creator of the immunity shot.
   Luckily, she saved herself and Brian found her at home, talking to his dad, and she gave him a permanent immunity shot and he went back to working for the FBI. Or was it all a terminal hallucination?

[Thursday, 07th] Eureka [18:00, Pick] Alison failed to get the sheriff's pants down. Carter was stuck with one of the flakiest nerds, who blew him up. Carl was sacked and evil Beverley had to find another stooge. Carter had to talk Carl off a bridge; they left the hard way.
   Fargo proved that the explosion wasn't Carl's fault; the explosion came from Section 5, below his lab, and GD boss Nathan was dismayed to find that Carl had made a major breakthrough. No, GD's secret stuff had turned Carl into a self-healing version of Cal Lightman; a human lie detector, who could tell when Nathan was lying, which is pretty much all the time. Carl exposed the existence of the alien artefact in Section 5, then merged with it.
Euro 2016 semi-final: France vs Germany [20:00, BBC 1] Nothing fron the first corner by Germany. Big production over a French free kick 5 minutes later, but straight at the keeper. Is the cunning French strategy to let the Germans wear themselves out whilst the French stonewall? Same outcome from another French free kick some 30 yards away from the goal after 36 minutes. The ref gave a penalty for that? In time added on? 1-0.
   Germany didn't look too like scoring in the second half. Another French goal in the 74th minute settled their hash. The only question left was whether France would make it 3-0. But they didn't. So Germany haven't really done much better than England. They didn't win it.
Lie To Me series 2 finale [22:00, Alibi] Emily and her BG upset Cal, then he found that his journalist pal Julie had been done in whilst investigating an ex-cop who wants to mayor and who was under federal investigation. He wasn't involved in the murder, Cal decided. There was an ex-con in the mix; a contact of Julie's who was supposed to have the goods on the mayor wannabe.
   Baltimore PD got obstructive on behalf of their guy; two detectives broke into Cal's house and one of them got her face sprayed with Foster's mace(?) Then Cal confronted the head Fed. Julie's contact was murdered in public and Agent Reynolds was shot and sent to hospital.
   Foster got to do over Mr. Cook, who was busted for getting revenge for an ancient grievance. Cal was left with goods on the Feds, Baltimore PD and the mayor wannabe.

[Friday, 08th] CFL TNF replay [17:45, ESPN] The Blue Bombers @ the Tiger Cats. The BB started with a rouge from the kick off. 1-0. The second TC play was fumbled away. The bombers went 2 & out, screwed up a FG try by not having the holder on the pitch and 51 yards was too far to score; but Banks returned the kick 120 yards for a TD!! 1-7. A long BB drive went to a FG. 4-7.
   A big sack on Willy in Q2, BB punt. Masoli sacked, TC punt. Lots of flags throughout the match. A challenge kept the Bombers going when they were stopped; just a shorter FG out of it. 7-all. The Cats got close but Masoli fumbled the ball away. Just a rouge from a missed long FG try. 8-7.
   Two TC plays then a pick-6 by Legett. 15-7. The kick off was grabbed by Macho Harris of the Bombers at the TC 24 when Banks hesitated. Just a FG out of it? No, another successful BB challenge of PI let them to on to a TD for Smith, who didn't seem to be looking for the ball but who found it in his hands! 22-7. The TC kicked a 48 yard FG to close the half at 22-10.
   The BB fumbled away the Q3 kick off. Masoli took a sack after the Cats reached the BB 4 but a TD for Fantuz. 22-17. The Bombers had to punt but got the ball back from a fumble. FG, 25-17. The Bombers lost a pick by Posey to a challenge and the Cats went on to a TD. The BB kicked a FG in reply to close the quarter at 28-24.
   In Q4, nearly a TD for Hamilton but the next play was picked off by the BB. They got close but fumbled the ball away at the TC 7. The Cats punted with 4 minutes left. The BB blew up on penalties. Boot. The Cats reached FG range with 14 seconds and maybe 2 plays left. Masoli was hit and lost the ball on the first of them. Which left a bit of time for a closing punch up. The Bombers win their first. Both teams now 1-2.
Next up, the Argos in BC [19:15, ESPN] Some punting to starts then Jennings hit Arcenaux at the TA 1, on to a TD, no +2, 0-6. The Argos kicked a FG in reply. 3-6. They finished the quarter by forcing and recovering a fumble.
   A FG try early in Q2 was missed and returned by BC. Another fumble, the Argos' ball again but they did nothing with it. They kicked a FG with 6 minutes left. 6-all. Nearly a BC pick-6 by Philips with the Argos pinned deep and under 2 minutes to go. Lots of scrappy play but the Argos finished the half with a 47-yard FG.
   Jennings was sacked a couple of minutes into Q3 for 2nd & 32. A solid drive by the Argos bur they were sacked to a punt. 12-6. A pick by the Argos right away, who went to another FG. 15-6.
   Q4 started with a sack on Ray; cancelled by roughing the passer. A challenge failed. The Argos chewed up 6 minutes then Ray tossed a TD pass to Gurley; the first of the night. 22-6. Too much damage? Not in the CFL. A TD plus 2 points got the Lions to 22-14 with 5 minutes left. Another FG for the Argos with 2 minutes left, 25-14 and the Lions needing 2 scores, one a major. Lulay was picked of in the TA end zone by Berry, his first ever interception, and that was them done.

[Saturday, 09th] FNF replay [09:00, ESPN] The Stampeders in Ottawa. The Stamps went 2 & gone. The RBs hit Williams with a TD pass but no +2. 0-6. Some punting then a TD pass to McDaniel levelled things up and the PAT missed. 6-all with 4 minutes to go. The ball was stripped from Harris and recovered by the Stamps, who tried a FG in the first minute of Q2 and missed badly. 7-6.
   A couple of minutes later, Williams sprinted down the sideline for a TD. The PAT missed. 7-12. Some rain. A point from the kick off for the RBs. 7-13. The RBs got the ball via an interception but Harris threw a pick in the CS end zone to Campbell. The Stamps drove into the last minute and kicked a FG with 2 seconds left. 10-13.
   The RBs' opening drive of Q3 went to a FG try, which hit the post. The Stamps got close but were held to a FG. 13-all. Some punting. The RBs missed another FG try 1 minute into Q4. Another TD for Williams with 6 minutes left. 13-20.
   A huge pass play to Grant to the RB 15, then a TD for Messam. 20-all. 2:44 left. A roughing the passer call on the Stamps kept the RBs going instead of trying a FG, a CS facemask penalty on the next play, so +15 yards again; the RBs lined up for a 3rd & 1 at the CS 10 and the Stamps jumped offside! But the RBs fumbled the ball away at the CS 1! Stamp punt, 5 seconds left, O/T.
   The RBs were held to a FG. Robinson dropped a pick in the RB end zone on 2nd down, FG, 23-all. The Stamps kicked another FG, the RBs replied in kind so it was a 26-all tie and a fitting end.
Over to the Roughriders in Edmonton [11:33, ESPN] with 8 minutes gone and the score 7-0. The Riders were driving but they fumbled the ball to the Esks, who made a 3rd down; but it all went wrong when Cox picked Reilly in the RR end zone.
   The RR kicked a FG in Q2 for 10-0. And another FG from their next drive. 13-0. At last, Reilly to Bowman for a 56 yard TD on 2nd & 21. 13-7, 5 minutes left. The RR punted but stripped the ball from the return man at the EE 51. TD pass to Collins in the EE end zone, the convert missed, 19-7. More Bowman then a TD for Getzlaf. 19-14.
   Q3: Punts, the Riders went out going for a short push on a 3rd down. The Esks made a 3rd & 1, on via a penalty on the Riders, TD for White, no +2, 19-20. Punt, punt but the Esks recovered a kick return fumble. Almost a TD on the next play and the Riders blew a challenge on a duff interception claim. The Esks made two 3rd downs but Cox picked off Reilly in his end zone.
   Q4 started with a TD for Bowman. 19-27. Punt. One big play wiped out by holding so an even bigger one; 68 yards; to Watson to follow and a TD pass to Bowman on the next play. The Riders wasted another challenge but blocked the convert. 19-33. 8:41 left. The Riders punted but recovered an EE fumble. They went for a 3rd down instead of kicking a FG and got a TD, Durant to Chiles. 26-33. Then a short kick off was knocked out of bounds by the Riders!
   A FG got them to 29-33 with 3 minutes left. The Esks had to punt. The Riders reached the EE 6 with 43 seconds left. TD for Chambers. 3 tries at the convert as the Esks kept jumping offside. 36-33. 13 seconds left after the kick-off, time enough for the Esks to get to a 51-yard FG, 36-all and overtime.
   The Esks were held to a FG. 36-39. The Riders went for 3rd and 1; and got stuffed!! Short. The Eskimos win. Phew!
Unforgettable [19:00, Living] A dead guy in a deli, killed in a distinctive manner. Det Al has history with the new Major Crimes captain; a female glory-grabber. There was another murder by the same MO. The captain gave the case to the FBI. Like that was going to stop Det. Carrie. The Feds were obliged to share with the NYPD.
   There was an attack on the stock exchange in the offing. Carrie vamped a rich suspect and spotted the killer. There was a mega-data cable in the suspect's wine cellar, which was to be used to crash the stock exchange. But the suspect was just a stooge being used by a woman after revence.
Tour de France stage 8 [replay, 20:00, ITV4+1] was a mountain stage with a descent to the finish. Christ Froome staged an ambush by sprinting for the top of the final climb, then keeping doing, descending with an original style, lying on the crossbar of his bike to get streamlined. He won another stage for Britain and the yellow jersey for himself. He also got a token fine for giving a forearm smash to a spectator who was pratting about on the road.

[Sunday, 10th] British GP [12:30, Sky Sports F1] A quarter of an hour before the start: brilliant sunshine in Romiley, umbrellas out at Silverstone and a start behind the safety car, which was good news for Hamilton on pole. There was a Red Bull 2nd row and a Finnish 3rd row. 6 laps behind the safety car.
   There was a rush to inters when the safety car came in. Wehrlein went off on lap 7, aquaplaned into the barrier on his inters. VSC. Hamilton came in for inters. Vettel came in for medium slicks on lap 16 and Verstappen went past Rosberg for 2nd. Renault let back-marker Palmer drive out of his pit box with no right-rear wheel! And had to push him back to get the job done properly.
   Hamilton came in for slicks on lap 18. A big off for Alonso on lap 24/52. There were still puddles around to catch the drivers out, and Sainz was caught out by the same corner. Hamilton had an excursion off the track at turn 1.
   Rosberg developed a gear problem as the race wound down but his pit crew advised him to avoid 7th gear; to do a double-shift through it. He was running 2nd at this point but the stewards were making noises about investigating his radio traffic after the race. A win for Lewis Hamilton in his home race and Verstappen was 3rd.
UPDATE: Verstappen was promoted to 2nd after a 10 second penalty on Rosberg for illegal assistance.
Tour de France replay [19:00, ITV4] There was some fearsome hail and rain at the end of this further mountain stage. Another spectator, who was pratting about on the road, was flattened by one of the competitors. Froome stayed with his main rivals comfortably and goes into tomorrow's rest day still in yellow.
Europeon World Cup of Yourope final, France vs Portugal [20:00, BBC 1] Rain on the British F1 Grand Prix, rain bucketing down at the end of today's episode of Autour de France but it was okay in Paris that same evening. It was mainly France early on. Ronald Ho played the drama queen and was hauled off for overacting fairly early on. Nobody looked like scoring in the first half.
   France got close once but no goals in the second half and no prospect of one. On to extra time with penalties looming. Portugal hit the French bar from a free kick in the second period. Finally, after 19 minutes, a goal for Portugal and that was enuf. Quick! over to:
IndyCars: The Iowa 300 [22:30, ESPN] Pagenaud was on pole but Newgarden went straight past him and he was catching back-markers after only 14/300 laps despite being handicapped by a broken hand and 11 screws in his clavicle, a legacy from the crash which caused the race in Texas on June 11th to be called off and rescheduled. Newgarden lapped Kanaan, who was 4th, on lap 75 and then went past Castroneves.
   RHR's engine blew on lap 109; smoke, flames, debris, caution. Only Newgarden and Pagenaud were on the lead lap and able to pit. Montoya had a problem on lap 171. It seemed to clear but he was making smoke 9 laps later and a caution. Dixon went past Pagenaud on lap 232 for 2nd. Newgarden lost a 10 second lead when Chilton crashed for a caution on lap 247. But Newgarden was not to be denied, Dixon was 3rd and Pagenaud 4th. Some whingeing Aussie was 2nd.

[Monday, 11th] Eureka [18:00, Pick] One wrecked car, hit by a bear? The mad Aussie thought it was a Big Foot. There was the mangled body of a guy from GD nearby. He was from Section 5, so Nathan got obstructive as well as obnoxious. Henry and the sheriff found that the dead guy had been taking an exotic GD drug, so a possible corporate murder charge?
   Fargo was on the drug and racing like The Flash! But Alison's son wasn't on it in a drug trial. Carter was hijacked by his daughters drugged and demented boyfriend, who could move at super-speed too. But he couldn't run faster than a baseball hurled by Jack Carter.
Dork Matter [20:00, Syfy] Five wiped the memories of everyone aboard the Raza. Six's boss was on his case because she knew the Raza caused the White Hole explosion, which killed 1,500 corporate stooges. She tried to blackmail Five and she was being spied on by other corporate stooges. Two, Three and Four were put on waste disposal and the android refused to give up her stored data unless ordered to by a member of the Raza's crew.
   Three was given the prison layout. A gang boss wanted to join the escape plan. Six was told that the warden had been paid to kill the crew of the Raza. A lynch mob arrived to take Four to his home planet for execution. Riot in the prison; Code Black; cue the escape plan. Six was shot and ended up in stasis. One was dead? Killed by the guy whose face he'd been given? And there's a corporate spy on the Raza.

[Tuesday, 12th] Eureka [18:00, Pick] Callister, the guy who wisely dumped Deputy Jo, backpacked into town and things began to go wrong. Jo stuck the sheriff and Alison to a magnetized fence and Zoe dyed her hair red. Henry decided that Eureka's internet had a virus. Nathan was up to no good again and someone had erased Callister from GD's records. But Zoe was wanted for credit card fraud!
   Did Callister burn down Nathan's lab at GD? He set fire to Beverley's house when confronted there by Nathan. Callister is robotized; a product of one of Nathan's crazy schemes, and Nathan burnt the lab and everything in it to cover up the mess. Zoe and Callister did a runner but they didn't get far and Zoe was reconciled with her dad.
Ag the Raisin and The Day the Floods Came [21:00, Sky 1] Did Kylie kill herself on her wedding day? Mom says no, the cops say keep your nose out of a suicide, Ag; and the wedding venue had 3 bookings cancelled. Kylie was killed, deep frozen and dumped in the river. Charles, the wedding guy, begged Ag to keep her nose out. Everyone but everyone told Ag to butt out.
   Ag found out that Kylie was a blackmailer. Ag's big seduction plan crapped out. She got Sir Charles falsely arrested. But it was the butcher's daughter, a jilted rival for Zack, who killed Kylie for ruining her life. So more justifiable homicide.
The Closer [22:00, Alibi] Lt. Flynn saw a girl on a motorbike wiped out by a drunk driver. The woman driving the car reported it stolen and had a big drink. She's the police commissioner's drunken wife. Brenda tried to turn vehicular manslaughter into murder. Mrs. Commish came up with a Jose as a suspect for stealing her car.
   Brenda still wanted murder so her team worked on the Commish's daughter. The plan worked, the Commish resigned and threw his wife to the wolves. The cops are now going to throw a mega-wobbly over their commissioner's wife being brought to justice, Chief Pope warned. But if this is the last series, it's just to be expected.

[Wednesday, 12th] Eureka [18:00, Pick] Fargo plugged Nathan Stark in to the mainframe. Bound to be a huge mistake. Taggart was messing about with veterinary nanobots; carelessly. Lots of them escaped into the air con. Alison wanted a divorce from Nathan. Larry, the computer guy, was eaten by the bots inside the mainframe. Then he visited Nathan with glowing eyes.
   Stark went loco. Alison ordered a lockdown of GD but a squad of Starks escaped into Eureka. Sheriff Carter found the original Stark, and then devised a way to summon the copies to be zapped.
Outrageous Acts of Science [20:00, Discovery] The experts looked at 20 examples of weird, freaky and awesome: magnetic putty, the dragon man, musical jars, the robot mouth, the ghost ship, Mr. Putty Arm!, the mug brake, boomarangaplane, the riderless motorbike, quivering coins, kung fu board-breaking in free-fall, one-glimpse memory-art for savants, the switch illusion, non-Newtonian corn starch suspension (yawn), stunt driving a big digger, underwater circles made by a puffer fish, super-speed CD shatter, a black bear walking on its hind legs, Schlieren photography, and a man walking a cable-car cable in China.
Shades of Blue episode 1 [21:00, Living] A rookie shoots a drug guy and his partner, Det. Sanchez, arranges a cover-up. The entire squad is in a conspiracy with local criminals to regulate what crime is allowed and make cash for the cops. A guy escaped from the shooting, so he has to be hunted down.
   An FBI sting operation busts Sanchez and she's told she has to rat out the BGs or what will happen to her daughter while she's in gaol? The runner is written off. The Internal Affairs guy who investigated the shooting is in with the corrupt cops. Then the lieutenant tells Sanchez he has a rat in his outfit and she's the only one he can trust! And she's going to help him kill the FBI rat.

[Thursday, 14th] Eureka [18:00, Pick] Fargo was causing trouble again and Carter's evening was screwed up. Fargo's dispute with Sam the rogue gardener zapped the whole town? Everyone became weirder than usual, except the sheriff and his daughter, of course. Carter spotted a connection and destroyed Henry's gadget; but it wasn't switched on.
   It was Sam's exotic pollen that was to blame and living in a bunker had protected the Carters from it. Crazy Taggart got in the way of the sheriff's attempt to destroy the plants. Nathan was messing about in Section 5, trying to get to the artefact. So Alison had to hit him a bit. Shock-horror! Henry decided to quit Eureka.
CFL replay, the Redblacks @ the Argos [19:30, ESPN] Some punting to start. The Argos lost a TD to a penalty 10 minutes in, then Ray was nearly picked. A FG on 3rd down? No, they went for a TD and got it, just. 0-7. A sack for Hickman then one for Lemon on the next play! RB punt.
   A challenge 5 minutes into Q2 got the Argos to the RB 1 for PI; on to a TD but the PAT missed. 0-13. Ellingson made 2 guys miss on his way to the TA 11 and a TD run by Grigsby got the RBs on the scoreboard. 7-13. A procedure penalty saved the Argos from losing the ball after a high snap, some punting, and the RBs closed the half with a FG. 10-13.
   Harris to Ellingson for another tackle-breaking big play, 77 yards, in Q3. A TD for Harris on the next play. 17-13 one minute in. A sack for Bishop in the next RB series, punt. Lots of flags suddenly. An Ottawa pick in their end zone was lost to a penalty, TD for Whitaker, 17-20 towards the end of the quarter.
   An RB FG made it 20-all in Q4. Then Jackson ran through 4 tackles and went 76 yards for a TD. 27-20. A sack for RB 41, Argos punt. A 48 yard FG try by the RBs hit the post, 2:12 left. The Argos had to punt. A big pass to Jackson with a minute left got the RBs to the TA 20, and a FG that worked saw off the home team, 30-20.
Lie To Me series 3 opener [22:00, Alibi] Cal was being harassed for a book for which he'd been paid a huge advance and Foster had frozen his bank account. In the bank, Cal spotted a guy who was casing the joint. Cal warned Sandy, the manager, who didn't want to involve the cops. One of the bank's security guys had been threatened by the gang.
   Cal joined the gang and took them some info on the bank's layout. The gang shot up the bank a bit. Surprise! It was a trap. Sandy was forced to admit that he'd bogged up the spotter's life with a mortage rate mistake and he hadn't owned up to it. So he had to do a whingeing apology to the spotter's wife.
   Cal gave Foster a warning about messing with his bank account and hired two graduate students. Then he wished Eli success with his search for a new job.

[Friday, 15th] TNF replay, the Eskimos @ the Bombers [16:30, ESPN] The Bombers started with a FG. The Esks were sacked 2 & oat. Sewell sacked Willy. Whyte hit the post trying a 49-yard FG. Willy sacked by Frank. The Esks blew up on 2nd and 25 in Q2. They punted, and the Bombers lost a 94 yard kick return to the end zone a penalty, but they restarted at the EE 32 and scored a TD 2 plays later. 0-10.
   The Esks blew up on a 3rd down. They made a 3rd down, just, in their next drive, then a 60 yard pass to Bowman got them to the BB 11, a TD was lost to a penalty. A TD pass to Coehorn? Nope. FG. 3-10. One back for the BB. 3-13. A challenge gave the Esks a sideline catch. A 3rd down at the BB 2; a TD pass, Reilly to Watson, 10-13.
   The BB missed a 49 yard FG try early in Q3. Reilly to Walker for 36 yards but the Esks were blitzed to a FG. 13-all. The Bombers had to punt but they recovered a fumble, but Willy had a pass picked by 47. The Esks were backed up to their 1 but Reilly to Bowman, then Posey collected a batted pass for the Bombers at the EE 23. FG, 13-16.
   Walker took a pass 73 yards for a TD in the first 30 seconds of Q4. 20-16. Defences took charge for a while. Willy was sacked by Willis. The Esks ate up clock. The Bombers needed to go 100 yards in 1:27 to win but Willy's final play of the match was picked by 43.
Unforgettable [21:00, Living] Tom, a cheating husband, was dead. His assistant had a nasty ex-BF, who threatened Tom and he ran from the cops. He put a real estate gazillionaire into the frame. Dets. Carrie and Al invaded Tom's huge safe. What was missing? Carrie played strip poker with an ex-con potential BG. Off to a casino in Atlantic City to harass the boss.
   The pushy boss came up with a casino heist. Security uniforms were stolen from a dry cleaners. Carrie's poker pal was behind the heist and the guy who did the murder was in his crew. Carrie worked out which casino had been targeted but $20M had gone when the cops arrived. Carrie worked out how the cash was being moved, and she bagged her old mate at the bus station.

[Saturday, 16th] CFL/FNF Live: Hamilton vs Montreal [00:30, ESPN] The French anthem was played before the Canadian anthem was performed following the terror attack in Nice.
   A sack for 48, the TC punted. Cato was on as QB for Montreal, Glenn injured. Lots of defence and flags. The Cats lost a pick to offside. The Als made a 3rd down but were sacked to a FG. 0-3 after 11 minutes. Masoli was sacked by MTL 2, there was a punt but the Als fumbled the ball away.
   More punting in Q2. The Als missed a FG try for 1 point with 4 minutes left. 0-4. A pick by Johnson gave the ball back to the Als, but 2 & oat. The TC were sacked 2 & oat. The Als gave up a safety instead of punting in the last minute of the quarter. 2-4. Cor! The Cats made a 56 yard FG to close the half. 5-4.
   Lots of punting to start Q3, Chick sacked Cato to make the Als punt and the kick was returned for a TD by, who else? Banks! 86 yards. 12-4. A FG in reply. 12-7. The TC punted but Cato was forced to fumble. 25 yards of penalties got the TC to the MTL 9, TD for Gable. 19-7. A sack for Laurent made the Als punt.
   The TC kicked a FG early in Q4. 22-7. The Als gave up more penalty yards. A FG for the Cats. 25-7, 7 minutes to go. Adams came in for Cato and was sacked twice. A 42 yard FG for the Cats. 28-7. Another FG with under 2 minutes to go, 31-7. A sack for Lawrence of the Cats. The End.
TdF stage 14 [19:00, ITV 4] The crash on stage 12 involving Froome was still making waves. Wiggle room needed in the rules. There was a 4-man break on a 200-km, windy stage. They hoovered up irrelevant points, and some cash, but this was a stage for sprinters, and Mark Cavendish duly obliged with a win. Kittel, well beaten, did a post-race whinge.
For Your Eyes Only (1981, Roger Moore Bond) [20:00, ITV3] JB dropped a bald BG down a factory chimney. A spy trawler went down in the Med after hitting a wartime mine. The Russians were after its coding device. The yacht of the man who was going to find the wreck was shot up off Greece. Bond was sent to ask the assassin who hired him. But Melina, the dead expert's daughter, got in first. Cue a chase. Then a trip to Q's lab.
   Off to Cortina in search of a Greek smuggler. Melina survived an assassination attempt and there was a blonde teenage nympho skater to contend with. And BGs on skis. Bond won some cash at a casino then stepped into a trap. Cue a big shoot-out. The BG with the specs went off a cliff.
   Bond & Melina dived the wreck and met a shark and lots of BGs. They were left for dead. The HBG was holed up in a Greek monastery on a mountain. Bond did some climbing, he was kicked off the top and hung about a bit on a rope. Lots of ultraviolence, then JB chucked the gadget off the mountain and the Russians gave up and went home.

[Sunday, 17th] German MotoGP at the soggy and horrible Sachsenring. Moto3: [10:00, BTSport2] Bastianini on pole, rivers crossing the track, 27 laps. Bastianini went backwards and Pawi was up to 5th on lap 2. McPhee took the lead on lap 3. Pawi took a turn out front. Ono blasted off the track with 19 to go; he nearly went over the handlebars.
   Ono was 2nd and dropped to 5th. Brilliant sunshine in Romiley. Riders flying off. Ono off at turn 8 with 15 to go. Pawi did a bit of grass-tracking but he was 10 seconds out in front and lost just 4. Pawi by a mile at the finish followed by Locatelli and Bastianini. McPhee was 6th.
Nakagami was on pole for 29 laps of Moto2 [11:00] Zarco shot into the lead but Naka was leading on lap 2. Turn 8 was still claiming victims. Naka crashed with 23 to go, Rins to the lead. Lowes into the dirt from 6th. Alex Marquez also went off. Rins had a moment and lost the lead. Luthi went out at turn 8.
   Morbidelli crashed out in the lead with 7 to go and Zarco took his place ahead of Folger and Rins. A 2nd crash for Lowes then Rins also went down at turn 1 with 3 laps to go. Folger nearly took first but it was Zarco by inches with Simon 3rd. Nakagami managed 11th.
Not raining for MotoGP? [13:00] No, it started again just before the warm-up but stopped. 30 laps, Marquez on pole. Rossie then Dovizioso went past Marquez, and Dovi took the lead on lap 3. Petrucci took the lead on lap 4 but crashed with 20 to go. Marquez went off the track for a while on the same lap.
   Some swapped to slicks or inters on lap 13 with Dovi leading. Marquez went to slicks from 9th place with 13 laps to go and was soon going 7 seconds/lap faster than the leaders. Miller took a turn in the lead but his tyres were shot and Marquez shot straight past him.
   Redding was running 2nd, but he was on inters, and Crutchlow was 3rd, then 2nd. And Dovi pushed Redding off the podium. Lorenzo was a derisory 15th.
Saturday Night Football replay: The Lions @ the Roughriders [11:30, ESPN] Some punting and BC picked up a rouge. BC lost a pick to a penalty and the Riders kicked a 41 yard FG. 1-3. A bit BC kick return by Rainey, on to a cheeky TD for Jennings; the running back was stopped but he managed a backward pass to his QB! No +2, 7-3.
   In Q2, Durant hurled a pass 31 yards to a spectacular TD catch by Bagg. 7-10. The Riders got the ball back from a fumble. Gale in for the injured Durant. A 47 yard FG, 7-13. Jennings was mugged and lost the ball to the Riders, 9 yard TD pass to No. 9, 7-20. A red zone pass attempt by Jennings hit the crossbar so the Lions had to kick a FG. 10-20 with 1:28 left. A 46 yard pass to Chiles, Gale sacked, A FG for the Riders, 10-23.
   Punting to start Q3; a rouge for BC from one of them. 8-23. A 53 yard pass to Moore got the Lions to the RR 8, then a TD for the tackle Olafioye! +2, 19-23. Defences took over then.
   In Q4, Jennings to Moore again against a blitz, TD, 26-23 a minute in. A FG for the Riders made it 26-all. 50+ yards to Gore for a BC TD. 33-26. Some big plays for the Riders, but a FG try missed. 33-27. A 7 yard TD run by Allen with 2 minutes left but no+2, 39-27 for the Lions, and that was the final score.
TdF Stage 15 [19:00, ITV 4] Lotz of bumpz on this stage. There was a break of 28, but it came apart after hoovering up the early KotM points. Majka and Pantano ended up at the front and one would win. Froome was ready for attacks but none came from anyone who mattered. Majka tried to outsmart Pantano, but it didn't work and the Colombian won a race for the 2nd time ever.
IndyCars in Tronno [20:00, ESPN], weather excellent, 85 laps. Dixon held the lead at the start. RHR and Kimball crashed at turn 8 on the first lap and Rahal got a puncture. Montoya clipped a rear pod off Newgarden so another caution right away.
   Pit stops on lap 26. Castroneves lost 2nd to a flat right-front tyre. Muñoz also got a flat. Having to lap back markers slowed Dixon down and let Pagenaud catch him. Dixon also had to save fuel. The track was "coming up" at turn 5, so a caution on lap 45 to nail it down.
   Newgarden had a big crash into the wall, thrown into it by the dodgy track. Win Jer got lucky; he was going into the pits when the caution came out. That was Dixon screwed. Kanaan, needing a splash and dash, tried to build a lead in the final laps but rejoined 4th. Hawksworth went into the wall and Montoya had to nose into the wall short of him with no room to get by. Pagenaud hit Hawksworth, so just one green lap at the end. Bummer. Win Jer first then Castro and Hinchliffe.

[Monday, 18th] Eureka series finale [18:00, Pick] Another experiment screwed up. Suddenly, Alison was married to the sheriff and enormously pregnant and Zoe was hugely successful and graduating from the school. There was a crisis in Section 5; a ravaged body just appeared in an empty lab. Out of the artefact and zapped by exotic particles.
   Carter's tornado-grabbed car from 3 years earlier suddenly appeared in the main street. Walter wasn't behind it; the body was Kim's and Henry had changed the time line because Nathan had got Kim killed and he'd wanted to give her a second chance.
   The artefact is a black box from before the Big Bang! Henry was ordered to put things back the way they were. Carter woke up in 2006 the next morning with memories of what had happened. Beverley zapped and bugged Nathan. Henry was prevented from saving Kim.
TdF Stage 16 [19:00, ITV4] There was a break of 2 in the closing stages into Switzerland but they were less than 2 minutes ahead on Cancellara Day, which was distinguished by his lack of activity. Gaps opened up on the fairly narrow, steep roads of Berne, but no damage to Froome's position out at the front.
Dork matter [20:00, Syfy] The crew didn't know who Five was. Earlier, Two wanted to know what the crew were going to do about One's death. The 3 ex-cons were locked away and the android couldn't get a neural link because she was damaged, so she had to go off-line for 32 hours for repairs. Three and Four collapsed with headaches. And Two, which left Five in charge.
   Five invoked the virtual android and she had to get advice from the convict doctor on what was wrong with the crew. The ex-con gang boss got control of the ship. Awake again, Two had suffered a memory wipe. And Three & Four. They dragged Five out of a duct, as at the start. Two, Three and Four had lost a year because they had all been reset to an earlier version of themselves.
   Two went power mad. The ex-cons tried to take over the ship. Could Five save the day? Two told the others to kill her! But Five got them access to their later memories and saved the day.

[Tuesday, 19th] Eureka series 2 opener [18:00, Pick] Henry still wants to bring Kim back. The sheriff thinks he knows what's going to happen over the next 4 years. Henry is sure things won't happen the same way, and he's right, of course. There was a total eclipse of the sun and one of the nerds spontaneously combusted! Quan was the therapist for Alison's autistic son.
   Crazy Taggart had a theory: the Phoenix Effect. His demo was very messy. There was a Section 5 connection and Dr. Matthews had also gone up in smoke; in his swimming pool! Dr. Brock was also involved; he also combusted. Carter made a link to Nathan's failed experiment; the one that killed Kim.
   Nathan had to be frozen. Carter realized the 2 time-lines are not going to be the same. Henry erased his memories of the alternate but Henry chose not to erase his own double memories and went to work at GD with bringing Kim back still on his agenda.
   Evil Beverley reported that the artefact was dead and its energy had gone somewhere; into Kevin, apparently!
Agatha the Brazen and the Witch of Wyckhadden [21:00, Sky 1] Ag thought she'd booked a spa weekend because her hair had gone crazy but it was really psychic stuff. She visited the local witch and the lady was promptly murdered. Ag's little posse arrived to help her investigate. She burgles the witch's caravan and the victim's psychic sister told her to beat it because she was going to kill the killer.
   The sister was duly knifed in the back at a seance with everyone holding hands. There was a question of inheritance and a curse on the family that owned the caste. Ag found a secret panel in the murder room and got Carly the waitress busted. Then she got another poor sucker busted. Then Ag's certifiable boyfriend proposed.
The Closer [22:00, Alibi] The crooked lawyer out to stitch up Brenda visits Reggie, the gang banger, in gaol and another banger is found dead after Reggie makes a phone call. The latest victim had the crook's card in his pocket. Captain Raygun was sent to chat to the crook. There was a cellphone operation involved.
   Chief Brenda talked to the guy in charge of the phone business and marked his card over the latest murder. The crooked lawyer was outsmarted. Brenda cracked the case and got the rest of the gang-bangers rushing to make deals. Then she found that the civil suit against the city and herself had been made to go away without clearing her name in court. There had been a dirty deal between the crooked lawyer, her own crooked lawyer and Chief Pope. Brenda much disillusioned.

[Wednesday, 20th] Eureka [18:00, Pick] Alison was taking over from Nathan Stark with a general in attendance and the computers had to go off-line for 8 hours. There was something missing from storage; a failed personal force bubble, and Fargo ended up inside it and he couldn't turn it off. The hermit inventor, Dr. Tod, said the field would start growing uncontrollably and he had'd to nuke another prototype!
   Carter threatened Larry, Fargo's rival, with gaol, but he didn't plant the gadget on Fargo. The general wanted to nuke Fargo right away. The guy in charge of the vault tried to do a runner; he'd been selling stuff. Natch, Carter noticed that the field around Fargo wasn't growing as fast as Dr. Tod had said it would and came up with a solution. Alison hit the general with the rule book and Jo got to kill Fargo temporarily.
TdF Stage 17 [19:00, ITV4] Mark Cavendish has baled out before 4 days in the mountains to concentrate on his preparations for the Olympics in Rio, so that's him sticking at 30 stage wins, 4 short of Eddie Merckx's record. A break of 10 came apart toward the end and there had to be a stage winner in there somewhere. It turned out to be some Russian guy, Zakarin. Froome finished 11th and consolidated his lead.
Shades of Blue [21:00, Living] There was some guy driving around shooting up protected liquor stores and any cops hanging around them. The mole cop ditched her wire but the Fed turned nasty to keep his highly dodgy operation going; 24 hours more, said his lady boss.
   The head dirty cop decided to polygraph his crew. Then he called it off and tested just the lady mole, who injured herself to beat the test. But he'd made a video of her and he could spot her tell when she told a lie.

[Thursday, 21st] Eureka [18:00, Pick] It was Zoe's birthday. Jo wanted promotion even though there's no rank between deputy and sheriff. Carter's ex-wife turned up and the weather went weird. Beverley, the evil psychiatrist, kept questioning Henry's motives for rejoining G.D. A nerd was flash-frozen, Jo broke him into bitz and that made identification a problem. G.D. has never heard of DNA testing?
   Alison got the hump over the ex-wife. The broken nerd was a Casanova, so lots of suspects. Alison cleared Henry to work at G.D., which was a problem for Beverley. Carter found a big, scary weather machine, which Pete, the local TV weather man, was abusing to get his forecasts right. Henry helped Carter to get the weather back to normal and Zoe got a surprise birthday party.
TdF Stage 18 [19:00, ITV 4] was a time-trial in the mountains, which involved a lot of riders going over the barriers thanks to some tight turns at the finish. Rodriguez used different bikes for the flat and mountain parts to rack up a good time. Froome started relatively slowly, got faster, won the stage and increased his lead.
Lie To Me [22:00, Alibi] Cal still wasn't writing his book and the new staff weren't impressed by Eli. Cal invaded a beauty pageant where Foster was working and found a battered contestant, who made a false accusation against Mr. Fletcher and ruined his life. Cal decided that Megan was dying to get away from her pushy mom. She was an emotional wreck.
   The cops kidnapped Fletcher's daughter on bogus endangerment grounds. Cal exposed Megan as a sick monster and got back the pen Eli lifted from his desk. Megan was using her mom's diary as her script. Eli wanted to work at the Pentagon instead of out in the field, which is what Cal wanted. Cal's daughter helped him to get his book started.

[Friday, 22nd] TNF replay, the Stamps @ the Bombers where it was hot, hot, hot: 30 deg.C. [18:00, ESPN] A rouge from a CS punt. The Bombers replied with a FG. 1-3. The Stamps fumbled the ball away at the BB 16, but the Bombers obligingly fumbled it back and the Stamps were soon knocking on the door again. A TD for McDaniel, the PAT missed. 7-3. Nearly a TD from the next CS drive, but just a FG. 10-3.
   The Stamps stopped the Bombers on a 3rd down early in Q2, even though they went offside but the officials didn't see it, and advanced to a TD for Parker. 17-3. Plenty of defence, then the Stamps kicked a FG with under 3 minutes to go. 20-3.
   Dressler quickly reached 8,000 career yards in Q3. The BB kicked a FG then collected a rouge from a punt. 20-7. Defence. A Stamps' drive was stopped by a pick by Fogg with 3 minutes left, but nothing came of it.
   Mitchell had lots of trouble with what had become a makeshift BB defence in Q4. 2 big plays, Willy to Adams, FG, 20-10. Pick-6 for Burnett, the PAT missed, 26-10, good night. Nichols on for Willy and a huge kick off return by McDuffy, TD for Dressler, +2, 26-18, hello again!
   7 minutes left. Lots of Messam on the ground for CGY. A 33 yard catch, Mitchell to Grant at the BB 6, TD for 87, 33-18. Nichols was sacked. And again. The Bombers went out on downs with 30 seconds left.
TdF Stage 19 replay [from 20:20, ITV4+1] A crash for Froome in the rain with 10 km to go, his front wheel skidded off a white line, and he continued on team mate Thomas' bike. Bardet stuck it out at the front for the win. Not a brilliant day for Froome but he increased his lead over the 2nd place to 4+ minutes.
Unforgettable [21:00, Living] A guy killed at an $800 store robbery. The killer grabbed his camera but not a microphone containing a memory stick. Det. Carrie homed in on a witness. The shooter was found dead. What if the "robbery" was designed to get newsman Nate killed by a hit man? Eddie, Carrie's ex, was tailing the dead killer.
   Nate had footage of a gang-banger and a drive-by. The guy who stole Nate's hard drives at the crime scene was busted. There was film of a fund-raiser involved. And a guy who could hold his breath under water for 3 minutes after Laura's car went into the river.
   There are $790,000 missing from a charity. Carrie confronts her suspect over his affair with Laura. Laura was trying to blackmail the suspect so he did a Teddy Kennedy from the car and Nate started asking questions. Mr. Noonan was busted. But Carrie finds that the assistant was the war-hero killer, who thought he deserved the money. Det. Al and Eddie got to plug the hissy freak.

[Saturday, 23rd] Hungarian GP qualifying [12:00, Sky Sports F1] Sunny here in England, absolutely persisting down at the Hungaroring and Q1 postponed for 20 minutes. Then red flagged 5 minutes in for more rain. Another red flag for a crashed Sauber. A final red flag when Massa went for inters and crashed off after touching a painted line to put the kybosh on Q1. Things got better but Hamilton was robbed of pole by Alonso having an accident at the end of Q3.
TdF Stage 20 [19:00, ITV 4] Still in the mountains, weather still horrible. Pantano was the man of the match in the break. Can Froome stay on his bike through the final 12 km of climb then long descent to the finish? Izagire bunked for home from the lead group of 3 on the last descent and took the stage. Still chucking it down with rain. A third Tour win for Froome beckons; barring assassination in Paris.

[Sunday, 24th] Hungarian GP [12:00, Sky Sports F1] Lots of sun today. Massa's car had steering problems as they were trying to get it to the grid. A young lady accompanied by a guy on piano did the anthem, which was original and well done.
   Hamilton shot into the lead at the start and Ricciardo was 2nd briefly. Button lost his hydraulics on lap 6/70, he made a trip to the pits and he also got a drive through whilst in last place from the bar stewards.
   Raikkonen had his front wing clipped by Verstappen's weaving when he challenged for 5th place and he had to settle for 6th. Hamilton got some static from his team for just staying in front of Rosberg and not pushing his engine to the limit (as he's in trouble over the number he'll use) and Vettel was turning the air blue over drivers failing to leap out of his way, as usual. Maybe he should be required to have his Mom in the car so that she can give him a slap every time he says the f-word on the radio.
   Button was called in by his team to retire after 63 laps. A fifth win in Hungary for Hamilton and Ricciardo was 3rd.
TdF Stage 21 [18:00, ITV4] Meanwhile, the barmy bikers were going round and round the centre of Paris when I joined them with 30 or so km to go. Kittel was about to rejoin the pack, having done something stoopid, and he still had hopes of taking the stage, according to the commentators. Dan Martin was having bike problems, too. Apparently, the roads in Paris are crap and lots of riders were having mechanicals.
   Team Sky sent a couple of guys off the peloton to have a bit of fun with the breakaways. Some crashes in the last few km. Greipel took the stage in a close finish and Chris Froome won his third Tour.
Beauty & the Beast season 4 opener [20:00, Watch] Also in Paris, Cat and Vince were on honeymoon. J.T. found that Beasts are in the blogosphere; a celeb blogger claimed to have proof. Captain Tess didn't want to know; she wanted normal. Vince dragged 2 people from a burning car crash by Beasting a bit and some guy took pix.
   Heather & J.T. burgled the blogger, found him dead with the killer [the pal of the Tok'ra who became a Goa'uld] there and Heather fell off a fire escape escaping. Cat and Vince rush back to New York. The killer has been torturing his victims and Cat is one of his targets. Heather was shagging an EMT in their bed when Cat & Vince got home!
   Cat was grabbed. The killer was after Vince as a trophy. Someone had put up a $5M bounty. The killer was no match for Beast Vince with Cat, and he was duly croaked. Cat, of course, suspects there will be more bounty hunters if the scriptrotters get desperate.

[Monday, 25th] FNF (!) replay [09:00, ESPN] The Redblacks at the Roughriders. A good opening drive by the Riders but they kicked a FG after Gale was sacked. 0-3. Harris went off injured after being sacked. Gale was sacked again but fired a 35 yard pass to a 1st down on the way to another FG. 0-6. Jensen came on for Harris and tossed a pass to Sinopoli, who went 65 yards for a TD. +2. 8-6. A rouge from a RR punt. 8-7.
   The RBs got a rouge for a FG miss in the first minute of Q2. 9-7. The Riders got close but just a FG. 9-10. Then they blocked an RB punt and Campbell went in for a TD. 9-17. A 47 yard TD pass for Sinopoli, +2, 17-all. The Riders were looking dangerous with a couple of minutes left in the half but the RBs forced and recovered a fumble, and kicked a FG. 20-17. Lawrence returned a blocked RR FG try at the end of the half but there were flags all over the place and no cigar.
   The RBs pulled off a fake punt play in Q3, and kicked a FG half-way through. 23-17. Lots of defence. The RBs kicked another FG. 26-27. The last play of the quarter was an 88 yard TD pass, Gale to Roosevelt, 26-24.
   More defence in Q4. Another big pass to Roosevelt got the RR to the RB 3 but 2 bad snaps held them to a FG. 26-27. 7:30 left. The RBs had to punt but got the ball back when Gale fumbled a snap away and kicked a FG with 2 minutes left. 29-27. A dodgy PI call got the RR into RB territory and a 53 yard FG with the wind put them ahead at 29-30. Then they sacked the RBs out on downs for their first win of the season.
Eureka [18:00, Pick] It's school science project day and Deputy Jo is terrified. Carter's car is hit by an iron meteorite, which he takes to GD. Bits of NASA space junk are heading for Eureka. Lots of them. Nasty kids messed with Zoe's experiment so she messed with one of theirs.
   Everyone has to head for underground bunkers and the bits could land anywhere in 500 square miles around Eureka. Megan admits she stole her mom's GD technology. Sheriff Carter has the idea that saves the town, as usual, Henry changes the track of the bits and they burn up in the atmosphere. Megan wins the science fair and gets an internship at GD. Zoe is 2nd and wins a car.
Dork Matter [20:00, Syfy] The convict doc and the gang boss want to stick around. The black lady is a skilled fighter, Four discovers. She's also a bit of a Neil Cafferty [see White Collar. Ed.] Three meets up with an old pal he's forgotten, who turns out to be the guy who raised him after his parents were murdered. The android goes ashore with Five and meets some androids who look like humans on the space station.
   The con-doc is a junkie. The android is offered an upgrade to make her more human. The gang boss is conspiring with the GA lady. Three joins a payroll robbery, with murder, organized by his mentor. Ann Droid is told that her capacity for emotional response is by design. Three shoots his accomplices and keeps the cash. He also shoots his "mentor", who killed his parents. Six gets surgery to repair him. The gang boss was hoping to provide the GA lady with a key stolen from Five, but she outsmarted him.

[Tuesday, 26th] Funday Nite Football replay, the Als in hot, sticky Tronno [16:30, ESPN] Glenn was back for the Als. Punt, Punt, the Als missed a FG for a rouge. The Argos made a 1st down then fumbled the ball away. A big play to Carter, a TD run for Rutley, 8-0. A long Argo drive went to a sack on Ray and a missed FG try for nothing.
   A TD for a wide open Shaw 3 minutes into Q2 got the Argos on the board. 8-7. Another missed FG by the Als. 9-7. Coombs took a TD pass from the Argos' 3rd string TD with 4 minutes left. 9-14. Glenn was sacked by 30. Ray was sacked by Bear Woods. Shaw made a highlight reel catch but Ray was picked in the MTL end zone? Wiped out by a penalty on the Als. A TD for Wylie. 9-21.
   Punt, punt in Q3. The next play was a 61 yard TD pass to Carter. 16-21. The Argos fumbled the ball away but Glenn was picked off at the TA goal line by Heath, who got to midfield. A TA FG try was a bad miss for 1, 16-22. A sack by Lemon as the half ran out.
   A TD pass for Bates was the first play of Q4, +2, 16-30. A fumble by Carter was recovered by Foley for the Argos. Ray went off hurt and Kilgore came on to toss a pick to the Als. Glenn went down, Cato on, another sack by Lemon and Bede missed a 3rd FG try for 1. 17-30. 7 minutes left. The Argos chewed up clock, Glenn returned. He fumbled when hit? No, it was ruled an incomplete pass. But the Als went out on down at the TA 1, and the Argos got a first win in their new home stadium.
Ag the Brazen & the Murderous Marriage [21:00, Sky 1] is the last of the series. Ag was getting wed but her dead husband turned up for some blackmail on the wedding day. Lucky escape for James! Natch, Jimmy wad done in and the fat, bumbling copper busted Ag, natch, but he also busted Janes even though there was no evidence against him, either.
   Ag and James went looking for some other sucker to frame, and nearly got filled with buckshot by Sir Desmond, one of Jimmy's blackmail victims. James burgled Juliet, the woman who got Ag's cottage, who turned out to be a charity swindler. James' house was set ablaze but Ag wasn't burnt to the ground. Juliet nearly got to bury Janes and kill the dozy fat copper. But only nearly.
The Closer [22:00, Alibi] Brenda was in court for a rape case. The perps had already got away with another rape by making the vic vanish. The second victim had been overdosed with Rohipnol and croaked. Brenda was after the taxi driver and his accomplice; her former crooked lawyer! Natalie turned up and the cops were able to work out why the latest victim had been killed instead of just drugged.
   The strategy was to get the taxi driver to roll over on the lawyer. There was an explosion in court, triggered by Brenda's guile, DA got the hump and Captain Raygun put Brenda on a collision course with doing the right thing before she quit the police farce in disgust.

[Wednesday, 27th] Eureka [18:00, Pick] An "empty" cryovault contained . . . Fargo's grandfather. And why was Sheriff Carter sending flowers to Angela Fairfield? Zoe wanted to know. Pierre Fargo had no idea how he's been put in stasis in 1957 but Sandrov, the Einstein of GD, had stolen his work, so there was a prime suspect for Carter to pursue, even though the BG had juice at the DoD. Zoe snooped and found that Angela was long dead.
   Pierre aged 50 years in a few minutes. Sandrov admitted stealing his work, which was used to stabilize Pierre, but not attempted murder. That was down to the jeweller, who had hoped to marry Fargo's grandma. Carter told Zoe that he took the blame for the crash that killed Angela even though she was driving. And Grandpa Fargo got some recognition at GD.
Shades of Blue [21:00, Living] The black lady running the FBI operation got wobbly but Harlee, the mole, got 24 hours more because the head dirty cop had something big planned. The dirty cop became convinced that Harlee was the mole. She was groped by her handler whilst he strapped an enormous bugging system onto her. And she called the dirty cop's bluff and mocked his discovery of her "tell" when he accused her of being the mole. Then she did some line-crossing at the end.

[Thursday, 28th] Eureka [18:00, Pick] A talent scout brought Zane, a crooked genius to GD and Alison recruited him. But Carter had to watch him until he could be trusted. The idiots at GD were planning to recreate the Big Bang; and blow the town up if anything went wrong. Henry went nuts at the controls of the experiment and Carter found that only he and a GD vet were still in their right minds.
   Zane escaped from his cell with flaky Jo's help. Carter called Zane's mom to get help with recapturing him. Zane helped to contain the explosion. Carter identified the source of the virus as contaminated chicken, which had been grown using a gamma-blocker. Then the vet undumbed everyone.
Lie To Me [22:00, Alibi] IA wanted Cal to know that they were watching Farr, the dirty cop. Cal told Wallowski, the lady partner, that they needed his help. Then he confronted Prince John, the gang dealer, who was whacked. Wallowski was busted. Cal forced the IA lady to let him work the case. An eye witness was shot down by Eli. There was another dead banger; an internal gang war was going on. The IA woman was intent on getting Wallowski killed.
   Cal got Wallowski released. Bangers failed to kill Cal and Wallowski. Surprise! The gang banger Suarez was Det. Farr's son and he'd been protecting him. The IA lady told Foster to choose between Cal and Wallowski. Cal trained Wallowski to lie well enough to beat his team and reminded Foster what loyalty is all about.

[Friday, 29th] Eureka [18:00, Pick] The nice dry cleaning lady reminds Sheriff Carter he's been in the town for a year. He lets Zoe drive herself to school. The pharmacy has been burgled for PEG. Are bugs coming out of the Moon rocks at GD? Something hits the car whilst Zoe is driving it. Henry still wants to know what happened to Kim.
   The dry cleaning store explodes. Surveillance tapes "show" an invisible thief; Zoe hit him. The dry cleaning lady was working on an invisibility project, which was banned. Carter goes after a CIA spook next. Carter has been exposed to something containing highly toxic aluminium 26 (from the Moon rocks) and starts disappearing. The spook is dead but Carter is saved.
Unforgettable [21:00, Living] There's a bomb scare; it's used to kidnap a rich bloke's kid. A business rival? The father gets a "no cops" $1M ransom call when Dets. Carrie and Al are there. The cops lose the suspect at the drop but Carrie bags him; he's just a chancer and he doesn't have the kid. The next call is for $2M. The cops find a body; someone killed the kidnapper and strolled off with the kid.
   The next ransom call is for $3M. A suspect is busted but there's no sign of the kid. He's a drop-out who knew the father years ago and he's totally full of himself. Carrie gets creative and put the suspect and the father together to shake out clues to where the kid is stashed.
Summer Shark Attack (2016) [22:00, Syfy] Young adults messing about in a river. One gone. Chomp! Two gone! Chomp! Only one survivor and there's a family of suckers heading for the fireworks festival at the lake. Chomp! That's grandma with her head bitten off. A good ol' boy, Jones, blasts the shark and says it's the first time one attacked a human.
   The useless sheriff hangs up on a call for help, and mom and dad are going onto the river. Jones has more weapons than the average militia. Chomp! A guy out fishing becomes fish-food. Damn! There are dozens of sharks. Chomp! Dad loses a couple of fingers and mom bags a shark.
   The sharks can jump out of the water. Jones is chomped. The family loads up with his psycho-killer weapons. The sharks reach the festival scene and the humans strike back. Molly's BF, Curtis, has a bright idea but he's not smart enough to stay alive. Molly has to bag the last shark for Curtis, Jones and grandma. She sends it into orbit. Then the useless sheriff arrives.

[Saturday, 30th] Halo 4: Forward Unto Dawn (2012) [18:10, Syfy] Tom, our hero, is a cadet at the space academy. He has a brother in combat with aliens, which he thinks are just a bunch of farmers and fairly harmless, and a remote mother in the service. He's a bit of a rebel and he's given the option of a medical discharge because he's allergic to the stasis drug used in hyperspace travel.
   Then aliens attack and Tom and 3 other cadets are told by a robot soldier that they are the only survivors. At the academy? On the planet. They have to fight their way to an evac point. Tom's girlfriend is killed. He acts as a decoy to let the robot kill the aliens chasing them, and those left survive.
Iron Man: Rise of Technovore (2013) [20:00, Syfy] is a cartoon epic. Tony Stark is launching the ultimate spy-on-you satellite despite lots of objections and lots of cartoon ultraviolence when the Raiders make their protest at being spied on. A BG zaps IM's armour. The creature claims to be the future, which will be a pretty smoke-filled one as the creep has a big-time God complex and likes blowing stuff up.
   The little freak injected his own brain with nanobots! Having captured IM, he tells Stark that he is the wind, not human. Then the kid takes over the spy satellite. Then all the weapon-loaded military satellites. But IM has a back-door to his satellite based on Pepper's voice and the creep comes unstuck.

[Sunday, 31st] German Grand Prix [12:30, Sky Sports F1] We had a young lady do a very American rendition (in style) of the anthem before the race. And she was immediately followed by faux Russian meercats larking about in an advert. Sucks all the dignity right out of the occasion somehow.
   Hamilton shot into the lead from 2nd and both Red Bulls went past pole-sitter Rosberg. Would Rosberg be done for shoving Verstappen off the track? Yes, a 5-second sit in the pits before service. "Maybe rain in the next 5 minutes" calls on lap 59/67 but the race wasn't affected. It was an easy win for Hamilton with Ricciardo and Verstappen joining him on the podium. Button finished a creditable 8th. The Ferraris are looking like busted flushes compared to Red Bull.
IndyCar 200 @ Mid-Ohio [19:30, ESPN] Pagenaud was on pole but having back trouble, 90 laps. Pit stops began at lap 10 as a gamble of an early caution. Dixon made one but he was taken out by Castroneves for the first caution. Everyone who'd stopped went to the front. Newgarden needed a new rear wing and went to the back. Same for Castro. Montoya led for a while, not having stopped. Pagenaud re-established his lead.
   Alyoshin took a turn out front. Big crash for Hawksworth on lap 61, so Alyoshin's lead blown. And he was sent out of his pit box right into Newgarden, who was entering his own pit box! Newgarden was punted off by Power on lap 66 and went Pagenaud up to 2nd behind Daly, who started last. Daly had to stop again but he would be in with a chance if he could do it under a caution.
   That didn't happen but Daly just need a quick splash 'n' dash, so a top-10 finish looked likely: and he finished 6th. Pagenaud regained the lead. The crash that Daly needed happened on lap 87; Bourdais crashed Sato off. But no caution. So Pagenaud kept going to a win.

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