August 2016

[Monday, 01st] FNF replay: the Lions in Calgary [12:00, ESPN] The Stamps were sacked 2 & out. Rainey returned the punt 95 yards for a TD. +2, 8-0. The Stamps replied with a FG. 8-3. A rouge put BC 9-3 ahead. Mitchell was sacked and the next play was picked by Fraser and BC started Q2 with a TD run by Jennings. Then a rouge from the kick off 17-3.
   Mitchell suffered a 3rd sack. A promising CGY drive went to a FG. 17-6. BC missed a 53 yard FG try. A 75 yard TD pass to Wilson. 17-13. The Stamps hotted up their defence and kicked a FG with a minute left in the half. 17-16. BC was losing defenders to a good battering. Jennings fumbled whilst scrambling but the Stamps failed to take advantage.
   Q3 began with a 4-play drive by BC, including a 39 yard pass to Arcenaux and a 31 yard TD pass to Gore. 24-16. Things were remarkably flag-free! The Lions kicked a FG to go 27-16 ahead. One back for the Stamps. 27-19. An impressive BC drive went to a TD for Burnhan. 34-19. Another sack for BC to close Q3.
   BC penalties helped the Stamps to a TD by Harrison but the PAT missed. 34-25. BC 2 and out? No, a pass by the punter kept them going for 2 more plays. A rouge for the Riders. 34-26. BC reached the CGY red zone, Boldewijn went in for a TD. 41-26. 4 minutes left.
   A TD pass to Wilson 2 minutes later got the Stamps to 41-33. The kick off went through the BC end zone so no rouge. Jennings made a 1st down but he was picked trying to throw out of bounds. A TD for Grant, +2, 41-all. BC punted, playing for OT after 2nd and 20.
   Overtime: Calgary kicked a FG for 41-44 and Campbell of the Stamps picked Jennings in his end zone for the win.
Eureka [18:00, Pick] Zoe loses her voice. She's parked @ GD. Zane has a Sunday date with Deputy Jo; he's not a big hit. What melted a hole in the bunker's hi-tech glass? Alison is zapped in her shower and starts to glow. Carter wrecks the marine biologist's aquarium. He suspects the lady vicar, the Rev. Harper, of causing the trouble to drum up business for her empty church.
   There's a black-out. Caused by a recent widow (Dr. Fraiser of the SGC), who works at the church. She's built a dimensional rift, which she thinks is a portal to heaven, where her dead husband is waiting for her. Carter turns the machine off and everyone is okay again. And Dr. Fraiser quits GD to join the Stargate program.
Dork Matter [20:00, Syfy] There's a war coming and the crew of the Raza hold the key. Two wants Six's help to get the guy who killed One. The android can get the info if she uses the "pass for human" upgrade. They need to find Jase Corso, the guy whose face One got. The android hacks a police station and GD cops start following her trail.
   Corso is found but the mission doesn't go well. Four is busted and everyone has to find a way out of collapsing tunnels in an old mine. The GA cops are outmanoeuvred. The android's virtual self thinks she's now a danger to the ship because she's making mistakes.

[Tuesday, 02nd] TNF replay [12:00, ESPN] The Bombers at Edmonton, Nichols in for Willy. 21 yards then 39 yards for Dressler, then a 3rd down TD for Harris. +1 from the kickoff 8-0. Dreadful EE defence but the BB were held to a FG. 11-0. Approaching lightning caused a weather delay. The BB kicked a FG 2 minutes into Q2. 14-0. Then another. 17-0. Both teams managed a sack. Finally, the Esks kicked a FG at the end of Q2. 17-3.
   Dressler didn't come out for Q3; injured. The BB kicked a FG, 20-3. Finally, a 2-yard TD run by McCarty. 20-10. Nichols to Adams, TD, 27-10. Reilley took off for a 1st down in a determined drive, a sack for Westerman, a FG to close the quarter at 27-13.
   The Esks kicked a FG in Q4 for 27-16, 10½ minutes left. Some punting. Reilly was picked by Frederick with 4 minutes left. Game over. The Bombers went 30-16 up with a FG. Reilly to Walker for a TD, 30-23 with 17 seconds left and the Bombers fielded a short kick for their first win in Edmonton since 2006.
Sunday Nite Football: the Argos @ Ottawa [14:33, ESPN] Ray out, Kilgore in, Burris back for the RBs. Lots of defence in Q1, with a sack for Moore of the RBs. A rouge from a TA punt after 12 minutes was the first score. A FG for the Argos in Q2 put them 4-0 up.
   The RBs were given a TD with a force-out ruling after an amazing end zone catch by Ellingson with 5 minutes left but it was changed to an incomplete pass on review. FG? No, a fake, which was picked in the TA end zone. Later in the quarter, a bad snap turned a punt by the RBs into a 1st down for the kicker, and they went on to a barge-in TD for Jensen. 4-7. The Argos sprinted to FG range but they were stopped by a pick with 2 seconds to go.
   A TD for Shaw 4½ minutes into Q3. 11-7. The RBs retook the lead with a drive to a TD for Jackson. 11-14. The Argos levelled the scores with a FG to end Q3. 14-all. A fumble by Burris in Q4 gave the ball to the Argos and they kicked a FG. 17-14. 17-all with 9 minutes left after an RB FG. Kilgore hit Shaw with a big pass, he was sacked on the next play and the Argos kicked a FG. 20-17.
   The RBs got a pick with 3 minutes left but their first snap was botched and returned for a TD by the Argos? Nope, ruled an incomplete shovel pass. A 55 yard FG for the RBs got them to 20-all. But the Argos went 23-20 ahead with a 53-yarder with 1:15 left. Burris was picked by Jefferson. Game over.
Eureka [18:00, Pick] GD was having sexual harassment training and the air-conditioning was off, so the town was hot as Hell. The biologist in charge of the AC had disappeared so Henry was in the tunnels under the town, trying to fix things. Jo blew up the jailhouse toilet. An Inertia Wave wrecked the cafe.
   All the women got the hots for Carter; he got the tunnel mole back on the job. Carter spotted ancient spores, which caused the problem. Alison saw a way to zap them. Then she closed down all access to the Artefact, which upsets Henry. He confronted Nathan Stark, who refused to give an explanation.
Sharknado IV: The Fourth Awakens (2016) [21:00, Syfy] The threat of sharknados has been eliminated. There hasn't been one for five years thanks to Astro X. A mere 10 minutes into the film, there are sharks biting off heads in Las Vegas. But this is a Sandnado; sand-based rather than water-based. So where do the sharks come from? Cue lots of fun & games on a pirate ship. 25 minutes in, cue the titles! Then wheel out Colonel Hoff.
   There's a flood in the Grand Canyon. The dust-storm sharknado strikes a train. Astro X needs to restore public trust. Who wants to destroy the Grand Canyon? The sandnado hits an oil pipeline and becomes an oilnado! What next? Firenado, Lightningnado. A nado heads for the Astro X HQ and grabs the Hoff's car. But he's saved by Iron Woman April.
   Finn is there, too. At last, a proper sharknado with water. But in Tornado Alley, there was a cownado. Finn & family do some larking about in a lightningnado. A hailnado and a lavanado are stopped but the lightningnado is heading for a nuclear power plant. The Astro X nerd tries to chuck Niagara Falls at the nado. Finn Shepherd is going to reverse the falls to drown the nado. Of course, he is. If the stooopid kid doesn't get him killed.
   Eat Niagara, you nado. The lightningnado turns into a regular sharknado, so nothing to worry about. The stoopid kid goes over the falls in a barrel? No, Iron Woman saves the little creep. And he chops Finn out of of a shark the size of a blue whale, along with half the cast, to be jump-started with an improvised defibrillator.
The Closer series 7 [23:00, Alibi+1] Lts. Provenza and Flynn don't realize that the jewellery store they're in is being robbed until they find the owner dead and lots of stock missing. The former Mrs. P's awful dog eats a rubber glove with the female perp's prints on it. Chief Pope wants it to be just robbery, as the owner died of a heart attack, but Brenda is determined to have homicide.
   Dead Milo has a very dodgy partner, Gerry. Provenza and his ex pretend to be the dirty cops who did the robbery in order to get to Gerry. FBI Agent Fritz steps in; the loot is two $20 coins worth $8M each! Gerry is made to help with trapping Victor, the customer for the coins, and the 2 police officer-impersonating crooks. Then the woman is scammed into stitching up the bloke (and herself).

[Wednesday, 03rd] Eureka [18;00, Pick] How to get the Artefact's essence out of Kevin? is his parents' problem. What's with the gold statue? Carter finds that Alison has become obstructive over investigating what happened to Kim and Beverley. Nathan gets Beverley back from Guantanamo Bay and Alison offers her a deal. Nathan also offers her a deal.
   Lots of things are turning to gold. Then the gold bugs mutate and start eating the town and GD. Carter and Henry track the source of the bugs: the archaeologist elsewhere known as Daniel Jackson! The Alchemist's Curse has been unleashed. Henry breaks into Beverley's cell and she tells him that Kevin is now connected to all the collected knowledge of the Artefact's universe.
   The GD building starts collapsing and the Sheriff has to rescue Fargo. Henry says the bugs will start attacking humans next. It's a ruse to release Beverley from GD, which goes into lockdown.
   Shades of Blue [21:00, Living] Harlee tells her scumbag handler that she's found out that the rules say she doesn't have to wear a wire and she's not going to do it again. The dirty cop crashes his car when drunk and ends up in hospital. Harlee fails to shoot a BG and gets a guy stabbed. The dirty cop wants her to do a dirty job for him. A crazy cop goes to a BG's funeral and causes a riot.
   Harlee finds that the van is full of explosives. The crazy cop is offered the chance to commit suicide by the squad. Harlee empties the van just before her scumbag handler arrives. The crazy cop gets a pep talk from the boss. The explosives are for a big cash robbery. The crazy cop is neutralized for the moment and the cops have some R&R.
   Ice Sharks (2016) [22:00, Syfy] A bloke harassing polar bears in the Arctic and his dog team are hauled into the sea and chomped by a shark. Some sensors recording how fast humans are melting the ice seems to be doing too good a job. The polar bear guy went missing 5 miles from a base, so a couple of scientists go out to look for him. There's a storm coming in, natch.
   The searchers find some shark teeth. David has a close encounter with a shark and goes for a swim. Man-made Global Warming has made the Greenland shark evolve into a savvy killer; but it still stinks of pee. Sammy finds that the sensors are working okay but a shark bites his leg off and he croaks. Sharks try to cut the Oasis station loose from the ice pack.
   Eddie the idiot gets himself killed. Depth charges made from propane tanks just make things worse and the radio aerial collapses. Then the station ends up in the sea and sinks. Michael goes for a swim and gets battery power from the MPR. An icebreaker arrives and tries to lift the station out of the water, but sharks crash the helicopter and eat Michael.
   Tracy has a bright idea. David and Alex brave the sharks. Chomp! No Alex. A shark crashes through a window but fails to eat Tracy and lands on the deck of the icebreaker. Tracy and David are saved but nearly eaten by the shark, which has to be blasted off the icebreaker.

[Thursday, 04th] Lie To Me [22:00, Alibi] Ria was in trouble: a security guard at a museum, whom she had vetted, shot 2 snoopers pretending to be cops and the bossman threw a major wobbly in her direction. Cal lit up the bossman. He was questioning one of the crooks in hospital when the guy croaked after revealing that something had been pre-sold. So Cal took an interest in a blonde lady, who was being harassed by an ex-boyfriend.
   With every danger of a second attempt at the prize, a suit at the museum and two dodgy painters were grilled. Cal found his new friend's ex snooping in his garage and pulled a gun on the intruder; the bloke called the lady the world's biggest liar. One of the dodgy painters confirmed that the woman Cal was throwing himself at was a BG.
   Cal invited his new friend to the big do at the museum. She was allowed to get away with a big, green rock; but Cal had made sure that a fake was on display.

[Friday, 05th] TNF replay: the Lions in Montreal [13:30, ESPN] 31 deg.C, no wind. The first Lions' play was a huge pass from Jennings to Burnham. Vennable got a sack on the next play and the drive ended with a FG, 3-0. Bede missed a FG for 1. 3-1. Another big play for Jennings against a blitz, a TD run by Johnson, the +2 try was picked by Parker. 9-1. A sack for Westerman but the Als went on to a TD for Cunningham, no +2 to close the quarter at 9-7.
   Jennings was picked by Woods in Q2 but the Als were held to a FG. 9-10. A 46 yard Lions FG missed for 1, 10-all. The Als did their first punt. The Lions made a 3rd & 1 to the MTL 16; TD for Arceneaux, no +2, 16-10. A dreadful punt gave BC a short field, a horrible FG by Leone went through, 19-10. Hudson sacked Glenn to close the half.
   In Q3, Bassey recovered a fumble by Rutley, FG, 22-10. BC missed a FG for 1. 23-10. A big play, Glenn to Carter then Adams came on to make a 3rd down and let Glenn do a short TD sprint. 23-17. And a point from the kick-off. 23-18.
   The first play of Q4 was a fumble recovered by Purifoy [BC 0] for a TD! 30-18. A rogue snap then a sack; the Als punted. Westerman got BC's 5th sack and the Als gave up a safety. 32-18. 10 minutes left. The Lions ate up clock. A goal-line stand held them to a FG. 35-18, 3 minutes left. Nearly a pick-6 for Purifoy, the Als were stopped with a 3rd down sack and BC kicked a FG for a final score of 38-18.
More TNF: the Riders @ the Stamps [16:02, ESPN] The Stamps were held to a FG. 0-3. Durant hit Bagg with a 45 yard TD pass but no +2. 6-3. Punt. Punt. Mitchell continued his streak of consecutive games with a TD pass with one to Parker (now 21). The convert closed Q1 at 6-10.
   Some punting to start Q2. A Riders' FG try hit the post for nothing. A big play for the Riders went to a forced fumble & recovery by the Stamps; but they did nothing. The Riders kicked a FG with 3 minutes left. 9-10. Which left time for 3 more FGs and a score at half-time of 12-16 for the Stamps.
   The Riders kicked a FG 7 minutes into Q3, 15-16. The Stamps blew up on blunders but they closed the quarter with a FG, 15-19. The Riders were sacked to a punt in Q4. A TD for Buckley half-way through put the Riders in a hold; the PAT hit the post, 15-25. Lots of Messam for the Stamps to eat up clock, and he scored a TD with 1:33 left. 15-32, and they kicked a FG at 00 on the clock. 15-35 final.
Unforgettable [21:00, Living] There was a dead Norah and an aerospace professor, who looked like a skunk, as a suspect. The ME had no idea what killed Nora, who was working on a secret project involving Mars, Det. Carrie realized. She was murdered at a training centre for a trip to Mars, so Carrie joined the 6 suspects in their training area.
   Simon was killed in the cold room. Carrie suspected Mike of killing Norah; no, he was the main target. Someone after Mike killed Simon by mistake. Erica, the CO2-converter woman, done it; her gadget didn't work. Why was there a self-destruct except for dramatic effect? Natch, Carrie saved the day.

[Saturday, 06th] Wednesday Night Football replay: the TiCats @ the Blue Bombers [09:00, ESPN] The match should have started at 7:30 p.m. but there was a 2½ hour delay for lightning. The Bombers punted but Masoli's first play was run back for a pick-6 by Roberts. 0-7. 2½ minutes in, a TD pass from Nichols to newly rejoined Denmark made it 0-14. A sack/fumble gave the ball back to the BB and put them on course for a TD for Mayo. 0-21 after 10 minutes. Sack/punt for both sides.
   In Q2, the BB had a TC punt returned for a TD called back for holding but they drove to a TD for Harris 6 minutes in, 0-28, and kicked a FG 4 minutes later. 0-31. A tipped pass was picked by BB 16 and they kicked a FG with 2 minutes left in the half. 0-34. Both QBs sacked again.
   Both sides punted to start Q3. The TC got away with PI for a 1st and goal, which Matthews made. +2, 8-34. Midnight in Manitoba arrived 6 minutes into the quarter, and Masoli was sacked as its last play. Amid some booting, the TC kicked a FG. 11-34. Wild got an interception for the BB, they kicked a FG with 2:48 left for a final score of 11-37 and the Bombers racked up their first win in this stadium at 1 a.m. local time.

[Sunday, 07th] Beauty & the Beast [20:00, W] Vincent was sure he could track the BG, who was after a Beast. J.T. wasn't telling Tess that he'd given up on tenure and being a professor for the rest of his life. Cat was recruited by the Deputy Secretary of Homeland Security, so Tess lost her best detective. Cat had to bump Tess off a case involving an arms-dealer murder and illegal fight-clubber.
   Cat had to be in a cat-fight at the club. Dr. Vince took a contestant to his hospital; she told him that if you don't win, you're dead. And Cat had another fight upcoming. Tess provided some valuable information and she busted the club, saving Cat. The guy in charge didn't know about Beasts and he was terrified when Vince turned into one.
   Heather's EMT didn't care about her family secrets. Where do Tess and J.T. go from here? What if the bounty hunter was lying about the Beast bounty? Cat asked.
The Numbers Station (2013) [21:00, Sony] Two secret agents decode a numerical broadcast. Kent kills everyone in a bar; it's a CIA wet job. Kent gets wobbly over killing a girl at the next stop. He's sent to a numbers station, which broadcasts coded orders to people like him, as Katherine's bodyguard. They're attacked right away and their station is a shambles.
   When Kent phones for help, he's told the code has been broken and he has to kill his asset. But he repairs her injuries instead. There were 15 unauthorized broadcasts made from the station and CCTV recordings show the place invaded by BGs. Kent realizes he's no longer talking to his CIA controller; his communications have been hijacked.
   Kent leaves the station to go after the BGs before they can break in, leaving Katherine to send out deliberately misleading code messages. Our hero meets and beats the enemy, and gets Katherine to a hospital. And he shames his boss into letting her live.

[Monday, 08th] Saturday NF replay: The Esks in Ottawa [10:30, ESPN] Neither side could manage much offensive progress in Q1. The RBs kicked a FG 10 minutes in, the Esks made the RBs give up a safety at the end of the quarter. 2-3.
   Reilly was clobbered in Q2; one of many roughing calls, on the way to a missed FG. Burris to Ellingson for 41 yards, a TD for Jackson, 2-10 after 5 minutes. The Esks managed a single from a punt. 3-10. Lots of flags being thrown; mostly at RBs. The Esks kicked a FG with a minute or so left, 6-10. Burris fumbled when sacked but the RBs kept the ball.
   Lots more flags thrown at RBs in Q3. The Esks kicked a FG with under 5 minutes left for 9-10. They reached the red zone in Q4 but were held to a FG. 12-10. A FG try by the RBs hit the upright for nothing. A tipped pass flew to Sherritt and he dived for the pylon and an EE TD. +2, 20-13, 5 minutes left. Williams made it 20-all with a TD with 2:26 left. Reilly was picked by Robinson and the RBs kicked a FG. 20-23. The Esks still in with a chance but they went out on downs.
Eureka [18:00, Pick] The boss lady wanted to close down the giant money pit of a closed ecological system, and she sent the sheriff and Alison inside to search for missing Bob. Any monsters in there? Oh, no. Apart from the one that attacked Mary.
   Bob had become unhuman. He was unevolving. Henry had to save the day as a virtual presence. Would Bob have Alison for lunch? Zane got a big gun from Deputy Jo and Sheriff Carter stopped Bob, who was put on the road to recovery. Henry was reinstated at GD and the boss lady had an agenda; something to do with when the town was founded right after the WW II. Surprise!
Dark Matter [20:00, Syfy] The android finds that the convict doc was talking to a bigwig corporate lady with a fortress HQ. Four's convict counterpart suggests hijacking a drug shipment; mainly to free her brother, Milo. The jacked ship arrives as the Raza is about to sell the loot and starts shooting. The Marauder has to hide in a poisonous planet's atmosphere.
   Milo explains that the people on the drug ship are linked in a collective, which can predict the future; which is how the Raza was found. The con-lady wants to make the Seers think twice about ever coming after the Raza again. Two threatens to kill Milo to make the Seers back off and the Marauder is retrieved.
   Milo thinks the future of the galaxy depends on the Raza [What's he been smoking? Ed.] and he can change things from the inside. The Seers get Milo back, and don't complain about getting only half of the drugs. The boss warns Milo he knows what he's doing.

[Tuesday, 09th] Eureka [18:00, Pick] The town is full of yappy robot dogs; which explode. The sheriff feels an earthquake but he's told Eureka doesn't have them. Fargo refers him to the earthquake guy, who realizes there's a magma pocket under the town. Alison sez Dr. Hood is crazy.
   Another dog explodes, there's another earthquake; caused by Dr. Hood's tunnelling machine, and mud erupts all over Alison's wedding dress. The GD boss uses Henry to find a radiation hotspot using a silly story about building a hotel.
   Someone is cooking logic diamonds of the sort being stolen to put in robot dogs. Sheriff Carter creates a lava-sniffing dog to save the town using the tunnelling machine. Henry tells Alison about the hotspot and Fargo wins the fake dog show using a real dog.
The closer [22:00, Alibi] A dead oncologist, lots of drugs missing. The partner refused to co-operate with the police as a protest over their Gestapo tactics. A former nurse thought the dead doc was scamming Medicare to get drugs for people who couldn't afford them. Chief Pope had to come in on a Sunday to kick Major Crimes into line.
   Brenda & Co. continued to trample on due process. Dead Dr. Brady wasn't giving his patients chemotherapy! So what was he doing with the drugs he was buying? The surviving partner thought the dead doc had been sold fake druge. So the drug rep, Wally, was busted. He had $6M from selling saline as chemo!
   At the end, Brenda refused to apologize to the doctor she harassed then she had the cheek to ask him treat her horrible father as he's one of the top 50 cancer docs.

[Wednesday, 10th] Eureka [18:00, Pick] Alison was marrying the creepy Nathan, which proves she's not as smart as advertised. Sheriff Carter's crazy sister turned up. Carter found himself having a groundhog day. When he told his sister, she told him he needed to kiss Alison. Carter made Fargo unplug the unstable atomic clock but went round the loop again. The next suspect was the evil director of GD.
   Carter consulted Henry and realized that the guy the director fired that day was responsible. He was making a hash of fixing his single photon experiment. And he ended up a charred corpse. Fargo & Nathan to the rescue. But Nathan was disintegrated, which was good news for Carter, and no wedding.
Shades of Blue [21:00, Living] Looks like Raoul, the local boss gangster, is into something bigger than he's supposed to do. Harlee's creepy handler has to apologize to her and he sez he hasn't put her under surveillance. So who are the shadows? The dirty boss cop tells Raoul that his big stash has been bagged and tagged, and Raoul has to fall into line or he gets knocked down.
   The Fed tells Harlee that the shadows are IAD. Raoul nicks the dirty cop's car. Harlee tells the boss cop to get someone else to fight Raoul. Her former training officer tells Harlee the shadows are not from Internal Affairs. The dirty cop hands Hispanic Raoul over to some black bangers, who make an unfortunate video of him being forced to play Monica. Surprise! The creepy Fed calls his hooker dates 'Harlee'.

[Thursday, 11th] Eureka [18:00, Pick] Nathan was getting a memorial hallway and the nerds were going to open a tomb looted from Egypt. One nerd insisted it was cursed. The queen took a walk and scared Fargo? No, that was one of the staff, who died of dehydration in a fountain. The boss lady wouldn't tell Henry what she was looking for, so he didn't want to know, so she homed in on Zane instead.
   The dodgy Dr. Marx was mummified and Nathan was haunting Alison. Zane thought the tomb inscriptions described a plague. Sheriff Carter realized they couldn't find the queen's body because she was just dust in the sarcophagus. Henry had to prevent Fargo from being dehydrated and Carter realized that Fargo was full of ancient bugs.
   Suddenly, the bugs were all over the place. Alison's necklace contained a logic diamond, which was projecting a hologram message from Nathan. Fargo was frozen to kill the bugs and the sheriff lured the rest into the freezer at the café.
Is Mr. Robot [21:00, Universal] really as wonderful as the Universal Channel would have us believe? Elliot comes across as a boring little creep with creepy mates, who are as likely to demolish Evil Corps as Donald Trump is to become the next US president.
Lie To Me [22:00, Alibi] Someone got revenge on a scumbag foreman at a coal mine and killed 5 workmates as well. The manager hired Cal to prove that the company wasn't at fault. FBI agent Dillon showed up to tell Dr. Foster to do a job for free because he had blackmail pictures of Cal at an illegal high-stakes card game.
   Cal soon spotted that everyone had hated the foreman. He nearly caused a riot at the miners' bar, then he continued the good work down the mine by threatening to blow it up. Eli caught the union guy concealing evidence and he admitted that the foreman's death, and all the others, had come from a prank that went wrong.
   Foster got the information Dillon needed to go after a suspect and told him to forget the Lightman Institute's number. Cal tried to make the company take the blame to give cash to the miners, but the truth would out.

[Friday, 12th] TNF replay, the Als @ the Esks [13:00, ESPN] Walker lost the ball whilst diving for the pylon at the end of the Esks' opening drive and an Al got the last touch before it went out of bounds. No TD but a safety when the Als went 2 & out. 0-2. The next drive went to a 3rd & 1 @ the MTL 2. A surge got a TD for Reilly. The PAT missed. 0-8.
   The Esks were close going into Q2. Reilly to Bowman, all the time in the world, TD? No, wiped out by a challenge on bogus grounds. FG. 0-11. The Als replied with a FG, and kicked another with 2 minutes of the half left. 6-11. Yet another FG try at the end missed and was returned.
   Some punting to start Q3, and the Als kicked a 20 yard FG. 9-11. Oh, tragedy! White lost the ball, the Als recovered it at their 1, went 2 & out, and gave up another safety for 9-13. Willis sacked Glenn to close the quarter.
   A 42 yard FG in Q4 got MTL to 12-13. Lots of defence. The Esks managed a FG with just 2:18 left. 12-16. Sherritt picked off a pass but he fumbled it out of bounds on the way to the end zone and yes, the Als got the last touch at their 6. 1 minute left. Hooray! A pick by Lacey returned for 6! 12-23 final. The Esks end a 3-match losing streak and the Als have now lost 5 in a row.
Eureka [18:00, Pick] The theme was recycling. Zoe wanted to skive off school to do yoga, thanks to her crazy aunt. Zane opened the evil boss's lock and found a lift shaft. A hole opened in the basement of the school, Zoe and 2 others went exploring. Eureka had a superhero: Captain JetBoots! He nearly got the crazy sister killed and she's pregnant.
   GD has flying rabbits but the flying boots project was scrapped. Captain Eureka strikes again. Zoe & Co. meet Zane in a buried complex and one of the genius kids gets them trapped there. Captain Eureka can can run through people and walls; apart from one of his fingers. Henry gets a distress call from Zane. The recycling guy is stuck half-way into a wall; he was messing about with junked technology.
   The GD boss has to cough up blueprints of the buried complex. Carter has to go through walls, with the risk of disintegrating, to save Zoe & Co. The boss refuses to tell Carter what she's up to, so it must be mega-dodgy.
Unforgettable [21:00, Living] There's a hurricane offshore and a body on the beach. Sadie was strangled. Did a scumbag have a criminal charge against her dropped so he could sort her out? Red herring. Carrie goes after Fleming, the detective who made her a CI. He says she vanished with 10 grand for a drug deal. Bobby the scumbag is raked in. He blames a Diego. The storm arrives as the cops are busting a drug deal in the Bronx. Lorenzo's guys ambush Dets. Al & Carrie and the comms go down.
   Al & Carrie hole up at a small precint house. It's a rip-off that police station in the Bronx; Fort Apache; about which they made a Paul Newman film. The Rookie cop lets Lorenzo escape for a while. Unbelieveable! The rookie lets him out again. The accountant shoots Lorenzo to bits whilst he's attacking Carrie, who realizes that the accountant is really Lorenzo, hiding in plain sight, and the strangler, so she beats him up a bit.

[Saturday, 13th] FNF replay, the Blue Bombers @ the Argos [13:00, ESPN] Sweltering in Tronno, 28 deg.C, feels like 40. The Argos opened the scoring with a FG after 8 minutes. A 49-yarder for the BB tied the scores at 3-all with 2½ minutes to go Boom! Kilgore to Spencer, 62 yards for a TD, 3-10 at the quarter's close.
   A pick by Gordon put the Argos at the BB 22 but Fogg picked Kilgore on the next play! A 29 yard run by Harris but just a FG from the turnover. 6-10. A pick by Bass was followed by a TD pass to Denmark as the next play. 13-10. Fogg got a sack.
   In Q3, Shaw made a 19 yard catch them fumbled the ball to Fogg. The Bombers almost gave the ball right back but the Argos had jumped offside. No damage, the BBs punted. Fogg mugged Spencer for a pick, more Denmark, on to the TA 4 and Harris battered into the end zone. 20-10. 2 bad drops and the Argos punted.
   Nichols to Denmark in the first minute of Q4 for a 79-yard TD. 27-10. A fake punt kept the Argos going . . . to a pick by Leggett, which he returned 99 yards for a TD. 34-10. Another pick by Leggett, but the Bombers went 2 & out. Fajardo came on for Kilgore and fired a TD pass to Noel with 2 minutes left. 34-17. And that's how it finished.
Soundstage Presents Robert Plant & the Strange Sensation [21:00, Sky Arts] doing a gig in Chicago in 2005. Planty? Didn't he used to be a Big Noise on the rock scene? Now, he's "that really old bloke who used to be in Red Zeppelin, or something like that". But he can still go a bit. Well, quite a lot, actually. So he's not going to be reduced to trying to live on his old age pension.

[Sunday, 14th] First Austrian MotoGP for 19 years! [09:30, BTSport2] @ the Red Bull Ring. Mir, a Spanish (not Russian) rookie was on pole ahead of Brad Binder. Fenati wasn't racing, pulled by his team for bad behaviour. Three out front, then 3 more then the pack at first. Bastianini swapped the lead with the other 2. The front 3 became 5 with 18/23 laps to go.
   Who's going to be done first for exceeding the track limits and going onto the red paint? Antonelli won that un-prize. Navarro, 2nd in the championship, crashed out. Mir stayed with the front group and went off to win his first race. Binder then Bastianini followed him in.
Moto 2 [11:20], Zarco on pole. Morbidelli had a rocket start. Folger hit the gravel on lap 5/25. Sam Lowes crashed, too, and again and out on lap 9 as a result of damage from the first crash. Morbidelli led a group of 4 for most of the time. Zarco took the lead with 9 to go. Would Morbidelli snatch 2nd from Luthi on the last lap? Yes, and Rins pinched 3rd.
MotoGP [13:00] Two Ducatis on the front row, Iannone on pole. Miller, injured in a crash, was out but Marquez was riding after having a shoulder undislocated yesterday. Lots of jump starts, including Crutchlow. Two Ducatis, 2 Yamahas, Marquez and Viñales made up the lead group. Dovi went out in front, then Iannone. He pulled a gap. What could Dovi do? Finish 2nd. Lorenzo was a distant 3rd.
   Marquez finished 5th, losing only 5 points of his championship lead, which is now 43 points. This was the first Ducati win since Casey Stoner was riding for them.
SNF replay [16:00, ESPN] The Stampeders at the Roughriders, with no commentary or screen furniture at first. The Stamps kicked a FG half way through Q1. 3-0. The Riders made a 3rd & 1 in the last 20 seconds but a FG try in Q2 missed and was returned.
   The Stamps kicked a FG after 6 minutes for 6-0. A mob sack on Durant made the RR punt. Another CS FG with 3 minutes to go. Finally, a sack on Mitchell with 2 minutes to go. The Riders left 7 seconds on the clock after a TD pass to Lawrence? No, he stepped out of bounds at the CS 2. The defence held up on 2 downs but the Stamps were offside on the 2nd. So one last play with 00 on the clock, TD for the Riders, 9-7.
   A huge RR punt in Q3 was matched by a CS return to midfield; on to a pounding TD for Messam. 16-7. A sack on Durant but the RR kicked a 54 yard FG. 16-10. A 61 yard run by Messam ended with a fumble to the Riders, plus a penalty on the Stamps to add 15 yards to the return. But the Riders fumbled the ball away in the CS red zone. But Mitchell was picked by Cox.
   Lots of defence in Q4. Mitchell was sacked again with 5 minutes left. One back on Durant. A Riders' FG try hit the upright with 2:17 to go. A pass to Campeau made 64 yards and the Stamps kicked a FG with 1 minute left. 19-10. Sack on Durant. The end.
Wow! Mr. Collards was back for the TiCats against BC [18:30, ESPN] BC gave away 20 penalty yards on the first 2 plays, but administered a sack/fumble to Collards on his 2nd play and grabbed the ball. Jennings to Burnham for a TD on the next play, +2, 0-8. The TC kicked a FG, and another after 10 minutes. 6-8. A rouge from a punt for BC with 3 minutes left. 6-9. Collards was sacked again. Rainey returned a TC punt for a TD but it was called back; bad call. But Johnson rushed the TC end zone and the convert closed the quarter. 6-16.
   Collards was sacked again and the TC gave up a safety a couple of minutes into Q2. 6-18. An end-zone shot by Jennings found Arceneaux. 6-25. Pass interference helped the TC to a TD run by Masoli, no +2, 12-25. A long BC drive went to a TD for Johnson. 12-32. Westerman got sack #5 for BC.
   In Q3, Davies picked off Jennings but tripped 4 yards short of the BC end zone. The TC went on to a TD for Tasker. 19-32. A rouge from a BC punt. 19-33. The Cats kicked a FG for 22-33 and got their first sack. BC's offence was stalling. The Cats gave up a safety a couple of minutes before the end of the quarter. 22-35.
   A pick by Bighill of BC was the first play of Q4; BC 2 & out, FG, 22-38. A TD pass to toliver with 8:50 left, +2, brought the Cats to 30-38. Leone's punting was making up for BC's lack of offence. Boom! A missed BC FG try was returned for a TD by Banks! +2, 38-all, 3:11 to go. A TD pass to Arcenaux left the Cats 38-45 down with 1:23 to go, and they went out on downs. Phew!
Beauty & the Beast [20:00, W] A BG went after Cat's HSD boss' family. Vince chucked the guy out of the apartment's window, providing ammo for the bloggers J.T. was trying to extinguish. Cat didn't want to take a pregnacy test. The boss thought a Russian crime boss was behind the Beast Bounty. J.T. was cattle-prodded and kidnapped by stoopid bloggers, who thought he was a beast.
   BGs kidnapped another guy before Cat and Vince could talk to him. The bloggers dumped J.T. so he was able to help to search for Albert the accountant; who turned out to be a hit-man! Vincent rescued him and got himself shot. It was a trap. But Cat plugged Albert. And Tess made J.T. buy her a beer.

[Monday, 15th] Eureka [18:00, Pick] The town is electing a mayor. The evil boss wants to rig the election and she's making information on the town's founders vanish. Zane has photos from the bunker dating back to the 1930s; the town was founded in 1950. An extra sun appears and Lexi, the crazy sister, is having 2 sons. The 9-year-old kid who made the sun can't switch it off.
   The evil boss catches Carter, Alison and Zane snooping in rooms from which mysterious bodies were removed. Sun 2 gets bigger instead of burning out. The cloud guy's experiments are turning it into a red supergiant. The evil boss would like to see the town turned into a mile-deep crater but Zane's rocket zaps the sun. No surprise that Henry becomes the write-in mayor.
Dark Matter [20:00, Syfy] The crew rescued a chisler (Dr. McKay) to help them get at the GA lady. The GA cops know who grabbed him. Clones of Three, Four and Five sneak into the fortress. Five does some hacking and finds a boost drive, which moves a ship elsewhere instantaneously. The trio go after an adapter for the Raza.
   The con-doc explains his addiction to the con-lady. Grabbing an adapter ends in a shooting match. The Foxy GA lady says the adapter technology, which she stole, needs a card, which is on the Raza. She threatens to destroy the original bodies of Three and Four. Five has to kill their clones to save Three and Four.
   The Raza is shot up a bit. Marauder collects Five. The android gets Raza out of danger.The chisler is ditched and Raza goes off on a test drive. Big flop? The con-doc, left at the space station, is done in by the guys chasing the Raza using predictions made by the con-lady's brother and the other prisoners.

[Tuesday, 16th] The Closer [22:00, alibi] A priest who taught at an elementary school was done in by a guy who was supposed to be dying, and the church wanted to take his stuff away before the cops could follow up on evidence of child abuse and maybe an angry parent. Brenda was away with her dad. She came back to stop a priest strolling off with personal papers and into a head-on confrontation with Chief Pope.
   Captain Raygun tried to make Brenda see Chief Pope's slavishly pro-church point of view. The church was outmanoeuvred. There was a mysterious car crash connection. A bloke killed his wife, had a car crash, confessed to the priest when he thought he was going to croak, didn't and killed the priest and tried to compromise him. But he was busted.
   Chief Pope warned Brenda that he's being promoted upstairs and she's going to have to break in another chief who won't know her quirks. Brenda found her mother dead in bed the next morning.

[Wednesday, 17th] Eureka [18:00, Pick] Fired from the job of sheriff, Carter tries for a job at HSD. Jo wants to replace him but a $2.9 billion robot, Sheriff Andy, gets the job. Jo quits. Trees start falling down. Sheriff Andy sees nothing wrong with that. Then he's flattened by a huge radar dish. Henry finds that sudden concentrations of gravitons are causing the problem.
   Dr. Fielding, the low-gravity birthing chamber guy, is the suspect. Carter spots that he doesn't know how his machine works; he's using ideas from some woman in Germany. The bunker's AI squished Andy! Henry works out how to save the town. Rebuilt Andy turns the job down as too dangerous.
   Carter volunteers to save the day and Andy joins in. Henry outmanoeuvres the general and Carter gets his job back. Henry reports to Alison that something is heading to Eureka from outer space.
Shades of Blue [21:00, Living] The dirty cop has picked Saperstein as his mole. The Feds stroll off with Saperstein before he can be done in. Harlee and the dirty boss find themselves in the wreckage of a marriage. The cops fail to prevent a father from grabbing his kid at the school. Harlee has to explain to her kid that his father isn't his actual father.
   Saperstein jumps the head Fed and does a runner. The dirty boss is dismayed to hear that there's a Federal warrant out for Saperstein. The dirty cop makes a deal with Frank, the childnapper, as a multistorey car park. Saperstein joins in. The dirty cop kills him and Frank. No, Frank is still breathing after his fall.

[Thursday, 18th] Eureka [18:00, Pick] Carter had to solve a puzzle and GD wanted to spy on everyone, including those in the town, in the name of security. Mayor Henry told Alison he didn't approve of her tracking plans. Jo was zapped by the DNA scanner; the machine had been sabotaged. Then she became almost human. Because the nerdy Julia had swapped DNA with her so that she could pretend to be Jo.
   Alison believed that the fake Jo was the real one - because she looked like Jo! Zane spotted that the real Jo was in the decaying Julia body. Jo and Julia were returned to their proper bodies, Carter passed the test and Julia was allowed to stay on at GD.
Discovering Buster Keaton [21:00, Sky Arts] is a very sympathetic journey, and deservedly so, through the life and career of a now acknowledged comedy genius, who was less than well appreciated during his lifetime. It's the usual story: you don't get the recognition until you're dead and someone else cops for the proceeds from the DVD sales.
Lie To Me [22:00, Alibi] A woman took an OD in the office of a cult boss. Her daughter wanted her back but the doctor at the hospital said he sent her back to the cult. Dr. Cal decided to expose Stafford, the cultist, as a fraud. Someone from the cult put a leaflet in Cal's home whilst his daughter was there. One of the original members had a boyfriend who was conveniently killed in a fire. She thought all the money corrupted Stafford.
   Cal spotted that the woman was worried about being replaced by a younger model. The daughter had been Stafford's sexmate and she wanted him dead. Stafford was wanted by the Canadian cops and he'd had facial surgery. Cal brought the wife and daughter he'd abandoned to a meeting.
   Cal sorted out the cultist who was watching his home with a spot of violence. Then he bamboozled Stafford into visiting his storage locker, after the cops had rooted through it, and Stafford was busted. The daughter got her mom back and Cal's daughter's boyfriend proved to Cal that he knew what a semicolon is.

[Friday, 19th] Eureka [18:00, Pick] Carter found a car skidded in the middle of the road. Tess, the driver, denied leaving it there. Murray, the ghost hunter, was trying to contact his mom. Duncan, the father of Lexi's babies, turned up. Stuff started flying in the cafe. Alison's SETI buddy, Tess, was there on a secret mission. Murray held a seance in the cafe but stuff started flying in the sheriff's office.
   The trouble started 3 days before when Alison reopened Section Five. Carter & Tess became disconnected into another dimension. Tess tried to contact Murray but he thought it was his mom. There was another guy, H.J., with them. Alison sacked Murray. Carter told Tess how to fix things. H.J. didn't survive, so Tess was set to steal his Nobel. Lexi shed Duncan and Carter knows something is on the way to Eureka.
Unforgettable [21:00, Living] Carrie is dragged away from a charity event for a killing on a video game set. Religious nutters are being red herrings at Satan's Palace and the meth-dealing cult leader has weapons at home. And an alibi. What about the guy who steals body part? Herring. Lisa's horror gaming company is in trouble and she's poaching talent, like dead Jason. Did she steal his long-life battery?
   The cops find Lisa dead. Det. Al tries to fit up a woman who was working with Jason. Jason's boss is harassed next. Carrie works out that he's Jason's natural father. He admits both murders but Carrie spots that the killer is the boss's other son. But she makes a real bog of arresting him.

[Saturday, 20th] FNF Live [00:04, BTSport 3] The Als @ Ottawa. The RBs blew up on a fake FG, which failed to produce a 1st down. A 49-yarder put the Als 3-0 up. Venable sacked the RBs to a FG. 3-all. Glenn was sacked, the Als punted but Logan returned an RB punt 72 yards to the RB 23. TD for Lewis, 10-3.
   The Als punted to the RB 1 to start Q2. The RBs punted but the Als fumbled the ball back to them. One play, then an 88 yard TD for Williams. The PAT missed. 10-9. The Als punted but stripped the ball from the Burris. and went on to a TD. 17-9. Some punting then a 67 yard TD pass to Carter with 36 seconds left. The PAT missed, 23-9. Burris hurled a pass from midfield to the end zone as the half ran out. Caught by Jackson! 23-16.
   In Q3, the Als were sacked out of FG range. A sack back on the RBs. Logan lost a big punt return to a penalty, the Als kept going and a 12 yard TD run by Cunningham. 30-16. A couple more sacks and the RBs closed the quarter with a FG. 30-19.
   Adams came on for the Als for a couple of plays in Q4 and lost 15 yards by fumbling a snap; Cunningham made 26 yards on 2nd & 25, Rutley finished a long drive with a dive for the goal line. 37-19, 10 minutes left. The RBs overcame a sack but Burris was picked off. Another TD for Carter with 6 minutes left. 44-19. Jensen came on for Burris and was sacked. The Als got the ball from a fumble recovery with 35 seconds left. Game over.
FNF replay, the Stamps @ the Lions [13:30, ESPN] Arakgi of BC became the CFL's leader in special teams tackles on the opening kick off. The Stamps advanced to a TD pass to Grant, +2, 8-0. A FG from BC in reply. 8-3. A BC FG try after 13 minutes missed.
   The Stamps kicked a FG 4 minutes into Q2. 11-3. BC reached the CGY red zone but only a FG from it. 11-6. The Stamps made a red zone 3rd down with 3 minutes left, went on to a TD but failed to make +2. 17-6. The Lions got close but just a FG at the end of the quarter. 17-9.
   BC fumbled away the opening kick return of Q3 and the Stamps went 24-6 up after just over a minute. They added a FG after 6 minutes. 27-9. The Stamps got a sack and lots of defence. The Stamps lost a TD to PI in Q4, but kept going to one that stuck 3 minutes in. 34-9. Lulay came on for the Lions. The Stamps kicked a FG with 4:20 left. 37-9 and that was the last of the scoring.
   The Stamps roll on and the Lions' have stalled.

[Sunday, 21st] Saturday Afternoon Football, the Esks in Tronno [06:00, ESPN] An ugly start for the visitors. The Argos claimed a rouge from the kick off and the Esks' first play went back for 6 when Raymond intercepted Reilly. 0-8 in less than a minute. Lots of White in the 3rd EE drive, which went to a TD for Coehorn. 7-8. Watkins picked Kilgore's 2nd play and reached the TA 6. McCarty went in for a TD. 14-8. The Argos did nothing with an interception of a tipped pass.
   Watson went 71 yards to the TA 23 and Bowman started Q2 with a TD. 21-8. The Esks kicked a FG through off the upright, the Argos did well out of PI on the Esks and barged into the end zone from the 1 on the 3rd try. 24-14. 2:51 left. A 50 yard pass to Bowman set up a TD for Walker and a FG for the Esks closed the half at 33-14.
   In Q3, Kilgore's 2nd play gave Watkins his 2nd interception. McCarty took over from the injured White but Reilly hit the end zone from a yard out. 40-14. The Esks kicked a FG. Fajardo came on for Kilgore. The Esks kicked a FG with 2 minutes to go in Q3. 46-14.
   In Q4, the Argos went out on downs near the EE goal line, and Parks didn't make a pick, which could have been run back 110 yards for an EE TD. Reilly was sacked for a safety. 46-16. The Argos went out on downs at the EE 20, the Esks did the same at their 30! The scoring ended with a consolation TD dive by Fajardo, who hurt his right hand in the process. 46-23 final.
Czech MotoGP [09:30, BTSport 2] It was the first wet day in Brno for 47 years (apart from the wet Moto3 race in 2012). Binder was on pole for Moto3 but dropped to 4th. Martin shot into the lead. McPhee was soon up to 3 and rain-expert Pawi moved up the field from 29th on the grid. Binder took the lead on lap 6/19, McPhee reached 2nd and Pawi took 5th, adrift from the front four.
   Carnet crashed out from 4th with 11 to go at a big puddle. Binder rode away from McPhee and Pawi reached 3rd. Then Binder crashed with just 5 laps to go and it was raining harder. Pawi crashed too. McPhee had a big moment when his bike squirmed under him and he was shot a foot into the air off his saddle with both legs flying. But he went on to win with Martin 2nd and Di Gianntonio 3rd.
Moto2, still raining, 20 laps, Zarco on pole, Lowes 2nd, wetter than Moto3. Both Zarco & Lowes went backwards at the start. Folger took the lead and never lost it. Lowes went 3rd on lap 4 and Zarco 14th! Zarco dropped right out of the points at one point. Rins finished 2nd ahead of Lowes, Kent was 9th and series leader Zarco managed 11th.
The wet-start MotoGP offered a bike change is anyone felt like going to inters or slicks. 22 laps, Marquez on pole. Both Ducatis zoomed past Marquez on lap 3, and Redding made it 3 Ducatis out front. He went 2nd on lap 5. Dovizioso's front tyre went phut with 13 to go when he was 3rd, he struggled back to the pits made a lackadaisical change of bike and retired before the end.
   Barbera inherited 3rd. Crutchlow overtook Marquez for 4th, moved up to 2nd and took the lead with 7 laps to go. Iannone went backwards, his soft front tyre shot. Crutchlow, on hard front and rear tyres, won miles ahead of Rossi and Marquez, and Lorenzo was nowhere.
SNF replay, the Riders in Hamilton [11:20, ESPN] The Cats got close in their opener but had to settle for a FG. They got a TD from their next drive. 10-0. The Riders were stopped by a pick, a pass by Collards was picked in the SSK end zone but a challenge made it go away and the TCs kicked another FG. 0-13.
   Durant was sacked to start Q2. Banks took a 58 yard TD pass for 0-20. The Riders managed a FG after 8 minutes, and a single from a punt with 3 minutes left. 4-20. Another TC pick set up a 45 yard pass to Tolliver and a TD for Owens to close the half at 4-27.
   Then it got ugly. The Riders managed a FG to start Q3. Then it was TD, interceptions, safeties, the odd rouge and the TigerCats just mauling the poor old Roughriders to death. 7-53 final and the 00 on the clock at the end of Q4 couldn't arrive soon enough for the visitors.
IndyCars Pocono 200? 200 times No! Rained off. So Beauty & the Beast instead [20:03, W] Vincent was out of hospital and still bleeding all over the place. Cat zapped an assassin, who shot their bed to bitz. Vince went after some guys who tried to kill J.T. and Tess by luring them to a trap. Snipers started blasting the gang.
   Bleeding and damaged, Vincent started hallucinating about another reality, in which Cat was married to someone else. The PD chased off the snipers, and the guy who was in Vincent and Cat's apartment disappeared. Cat's HSD boss offered protection. But would it work against both the Beast hunters and the assassins, who had been sent to wipe out everyone in Vincent's gang?

[Monday, 22nd] IndyCar Pocono 200 postponed [17:00, BT Sport 3] Alyoshin, the Russian rookie, was on pole for 500 miles round a squashed Tricky Triangle. Sato crashed out on his own before finishing lap 1/200 for an instant caution. RHR was up to 6th from dead last by lap 26, and 4th before he pitted. He reached 2nd after the stops but he couldn't get past Alyoshin. Well, not until lap 50/200.
   On lap 6, Rossi zoomed out of his pit box straight into the side of Kimball, shot up into the air and landed on Castroneves' car! No one hurt and Kimball could continue. Alyoshin was down to 4th in the third quarter of the race after leading most of it; and using up lots of fuel. Pagenaud made his last pit stop on lap 159 then crashed soon after rejoining the track. He went into the abundant marbles from a lengthy green-flag period and into the wall.
   An electrical problem dropped RHR a lap down, he he was screwed? A caution for a winglet breaking off the back of Kanaan's car let RHR unlap himself with 24 laps to go. He zoomed up to 6th, went back to 8th, advanced to 4th and zoomed past Newgarden for 3rd on the penultimate lap. Win Jer deprived Alyosin (2nd) of a win. RHR was definitely the driver of the day.
Dark Matter [20:00, Syfy] The blink drive was a catastrophe and why was the space station a wreck with no survivors? The Raza had been hurled into a parallel dimension where another Raza had a working blink drive and it was wreaking havoc. Two reached a stand-off with an attacking destroyer; Commander Truffaud didn't believe Two's story until she got a report of another Raza 300 light years away. Truffaud collected the fried blink drive and let Raza One go after Raza Two.
   There was a meeting but the other Raza jumped away after Two and Three had swapped themselves for their counterparts, who explained where Raza One had gone wrong with the blink drive. Two had to prevent Jase Corso from nuking a mining colony. Two and Three were saved from a psycho bitch by Raza Two's android.
   Truffaud invaded Raza One as a pre-emptive double cross. She was no match for Two. Raza One returned to its own parallel; but with the other Marauder attached to its hull. And there was something badly wrong with Two.

[Tuesday, 23rd] Eureka [18:00, Pick] Carter finds himself in a self-drive car on smart asphalt with Zoe driving. A missile explodes over the town; Alison has given a useless nerd carte blanche to come up with a defence against the approaching object, which will reach the town in 130 hours. Stuff is going missing all over the place. Carter finds that zombie inmates of the town are building something in a field (Village of the Damned, that episode of Stargate SG-1, etc.)
   Zane things it's a plasma generator. Alison orders it to be torn down but Zane now thinks it's an anti-matter bomb and best left alone. The self-drive grid is doing everything, but switching it off makes no difference. The object is close enough to do its own dirty work. And the object lands before Alison can have it shot down.
The Closer [22:00, Alibi] A private security guy is killed; the cops think one of theirs was done in at first. Major Crimes still takes the case and the ADA sent by Chief Pope tries to stick her nose in. She tries to make out that the dead war hero is really the criminal. Brenda returns from Atlanta and squashes the legal pest. Pope says Taylor is getting his job, not Brenda, and he has to let the ADA oversee Major Crimes.
   There's a Luke to suspect; the security guy chucked him and his under-age girlfriend out of an empty house, where they were having a sex party. He's threatened with murder, B&E and statutory rape. Det. Gabriel's girlfriend is the mole; she was in the pay of the scumbag lawyer who tried to sue the PD. The father of the underage girl is the killer; she told him the security guy tried to rape her. So she's indicted, too. Everyone accepts Gabriel's apology and Brenda doesn't let him quit.

[Wednesday, 24th] Eureka [18:00, Pick] The mysterious object is the Columbus, which Henry launched into space 20 years ago. Kim is aboard!! The ship's organic computer went wrong and it grew a replacement from a few skin cells from Kilm Dr. Leaver is found electrocuted. Fargo grabbed something from his lab; but Henry clears Fargo. It was Leaver who electrocuted his gadget, not the other way around!
   Zane is zapped but survives. Carter (the idiot) wants to arrest Kim 2. Henry finds that the problem is a virus from the original organic computer, not Kim. 200 people have the virus. Kim 2 contains the cure. Carter suggests rebuilding the plasma generator from Eureka's stuff to power a green light to erase the virus. Henry decides he's okay with working with Kim 2.
Shades of Blue [21:00, Living] It was clean up the dirty cop's mess time. Harlee insisted on going to the hospital with Saperstein. The dirty cops intimidated the lady security guard at the parking structure into telling their lies. The dirty cop headed for the hospital to kill Saperstein.
   Harlee told the group lies to her FBI controller. He went to harass the guy Harlee visited in gaol the day before. The dirty cop told Harlee to help him kill Saperstein and when she refused, he planted a bomb so that he could get into the ICU, and Harlee got there too late to stop him.

[Thursday, 25th] Eureka Tess wanted Carter to bust Henry for taking Kim to the cafe and out of GD. A supernerd, Alison and Tess's professor, arrived to unlock Kim 2's data. One of the GD ladies was found drowned in a car full of water. Another drowned in the bathroom at the cafe. The nerd really fried Kim 2. Tess decided that as her body was decaying, Kim 2 was expendable.
   Both dead women were full of synthetic water. Carter began having a phantom of Alison's pregnancy. A cleaner drowned next. All the women were at Alison's bady shower, as were Carter and Zoe and Tess. Carter had to rescue Tess from a lift. Kim 2 was dissolved, whilst Henry watched, to release the data.
   Tess was drained of synthetic water and Carter was found to be connected to Alison's hi-tech baby monitor.
Rizzo & Isles [20:00, Alibi] Rizzo and her bro chased the sniper, who got away. Maura collapsed afterwards at the PD and she needed a CAT scan. Frankie's pal woke up in hospital. Maura's brain was still working; after a fashion. Rizzo wound up Alice Sands with a contemptuous message to the meeja' and upset the Chief of Boston Police.
   Alice sent a note to Rizzo; she just tore it up. Rizzo's crazy mom dumped her doctor boyfriend to spend more time looking after her offspring. Jane tracked down Alice and her crazy gang. Alice got away. Maura had some bleeding on the brain, which is affecting her memory.
Lie To Me [22:00, Alibi] A woman with Alzheimer's ran in front of Emily's car and acted crazy; so Emily summoned Cal. The lady told him Charlie killed her sister, Rose, and now he's coming after her. She thought Cal was Bert, her husband, and she was an ER nurse. Dr. Foster confirmed Alzheimer's instead of schizophrenia.
   Cal confronted the brother-in-law, who had Veronica committed. He said Charlie was a figment of her imagination but Cal didn't believe him. Surprise! Veronica's husband got Rose pregnant, Veronica procured her an abortion and Rose died in 1968.
   Foster found that Veronica was mixing up people from the past and the present. Cal gave her care home's doctor and the staff the third degree, looking for an Angel of Death; there was a guy killing the inmates and Cal caught him in the act.

[Friday, 26th] TNF replay [13:30, ESPN] The Lions @ Ottawa, Harris on for Burris, 29 deg.C but feels hotter. The RBs were sacked out of FG range. Taunting by them helped BC to continue to a shorter FG. A 43 yard pass to Williams set up an equalizing FG. 3-all. More objectionable conduct saved BC from 3rd and 4 but they were sacked to a punt. This would be a night for defences.
   The sacks continued in Q2. A big punt return by Rainey, +15 penalty yards, put BC at the RB 8. A TD for Lulay, no +2, 9-3 with about 4 minutes left. Jackson took a TD pass to top a quick drive, 9-10. Jennings was sacked again and a 70 yard punt yielded a rouge. 10-all, 19 seconds left. A 40 yard pass to Ellingson, a FG for the RBs, 10-13.
   BC got close in Q3 but were sacked to a FG try, which missed for 1. 11-13. The RBs went 2 & out, and a TD for Rainey, +2 points, put BC 19-13 ahead. Ellingson nearly reached the BC end zone but landed at the 3, TD run for Van, 19-20.
   In Q4, the RBs forced a fumble by Arceneaux and ended up with the ball at their 2. The TD prevented but Harris had to give up a safety after failing to catch a snap. 21-20. BC's sixth sack was wiped out by a challenge, so they did it again, preventing a FG. BC punted to the RB 2. Williams to midfield on the next play! 46 yard FG. 21-23, 3:46 left.
   Arceneaux pu the RBs into FG range, they were forced back to 2nd and 13, a 35 yard play plus a horse collar penalty got BC to the 2, Lulay on for a TD, +2, 29-23, 1:34 left and no time-out for the RBs. And when they went out on downs, their losing streak continued and the Lions bounced back from their loss last time.
Eureka [18:00, Pick] Tess was making Eureka video diaries, so an episode made up of clips from past episodes. GD was closed for the annual sonic sterilization. Surprise! Alison and Carter were stuck inside and the nerd who could shut off the cleaning lost his memory. So did Alison.
   Everyone in town lost their memory, except Tess and Zoe, and it was all Fargo's fault. Carter sent Zoe a distress call on his pager. Then Alison started giving birth! Tess forgot how to close down the cleaning, so Carter had to kiss her to reboot her. Fargo was forced to fix his screw-up and Alison had her baby.
Unforgettable [21:00, Living] Two pissed Man Utd. fans distracted a taxi driver, who crashed into a mental case. He was wearing a jacket belonging to a plastic surgeon, who had been missing for 3 months. Another bum was wearing his shoes. The recently killed body was found near a dumpster. Carrie spotted a guy to harass. The comedy cops found a body and $65K, and the chains where the surgeon had been held. The dead guy's pal, Jordan, was in the wind.
   Why was the doc held prisoner, why no ransom demand? Carrie decided that Jordon; Homeland Security had been looking for him for years; had his face altered to look like the boss of a construction firm, whose body was found. Jordan was trying to sell some radioactive stuff to some Egyptians. But he didn't get his $4M. All he got was radiation poisoning and his ass busted.

[Saturday, 27th] 2 Lava 2 Lantula (2016) [17:00, Syfy] They're shooting a crap cop film starring the crap Colton West, whose step-daughter is spending his money in Ford Lauderdale when lava bombs containing lavalantulas shower the city. They're back one year to the day after they attacked L.A.
   West gathers his gang and goes to zap spiders and save Raya and save Florida. Raya and another girl meet two guys from L.A. who have made spider freezers. West messes about in the Everglades and meets Florida's top gator man, who is done in. The army comes to the film set to collect West but he's not there, of course.
   Raya's pal becomes a spider hatchery. One of the guys from L.A. gets it. West arrives in the nick of time for Raya and the other guy. West decides that Miami is being attacked by a gargantulantula! The Air Force tries bombing the spiders. West tells the colonel in charge that he needs to take out the gargantulantula.
   Ammonium phosphate fire retardant of the sort dropped on forest fires will do the job. West hooks up with an ex-fireman who can access a plane. The Air Force craps out when it attack the HUGE spider. The colonel's answer is to nuke Miami.
   West rides down toward the gargantulantula on the payload of zap-dust (in a rip-off of Dr. Strangelove), and the Air Force finishes the creature off. At the end, Raya starts calling her step-father Dad.

[Sunday, 28th] Belgian GP [12:30, Sky Sports F1] Alonso and Hamilton were at the back of the grid, having collected 100+ (?) penalty points each for engine changes. Verstappen was a creditable 2nd on the grid. At the start, he got tangled up with the Ferraris and lost most of his front wing, Vettel ended up facing the wrong way and dropped to last and Raikkonen got a puncture. Sainz went out on lap 2/44 after a rear tyre exploded. VSC.
   Button, who had shown well in qualifying, was rammed out from behind by Verlein. Magnussen had a huge crash when his car swapped ends and ploughed into a tyre barrier going backwards. SC, 5 others out at this point, then the race was red flagged to give the marshalls a chance to clean the crap off the track and rebuild the barrier.
   At the restart on lap 11, Alonso was 4th and Hamilton 5th. Hamilton reached 3rd on lap 18, and that's where he stayed. Ricciardo was 2nd for Red Bull and Alonso was in the points at 7th. Verstappen collected most of the dodgem points for hitting other cars.
Beauty & the Beast [20:00, W] Vincent, Cat, Tess, J.T. and Heather all have lives they want to get back to. But the supersoldier program is in the blogosphere. Cat's boss has a suspect for the guy who's causing all the trouble. J.T. gives Cat access to every US military camera and surveillance drone. He has to go U/C to find the Beast Buyer with Tess backing him up.
   Vince goes U/C as Captain Chandler. DHS Internal Affairs crashes in on Cat, leaving Vince on his own. Cat's boss takes him prisoner as a suspected terrorist. He tries, and fails, to make Vince attack him.
The Bourne Ultimatum (2007) [22:25, Universal] is set 6 weeks after the riot in Moscow and the suicide of the bent section head. Agent Landry doesn't think Bourne is a threat but the CIA is still gunning for him. He's in Paris, France. A Guardian reporter knows about Project Black Friar, so he's a target. He's also writing a series of articles about Bourne. The journo tells Bourne his contact knows Bourne's secret. Then he's whacked. Bur Bourne gets his notebook.
   Daniels, the leak, is in Madrid; he does a runner when he sees the TV news. Nasty Noah, who failed to kill Bourne as well as the journalist, calls in Agent Pamela Landry to quarterback the search for Bourne. She spots that Bourne isn't the leak and spots the guy in Madrid in seconds.
   Bourne flattens some CIA stooges in Madrid and meets Nicky again. She was in Treadstone and she knows where Daniels is. Black Friar is black ops without red tape and Daniels has all the details. Everyone goes to Tangiers, where Daniels has stashed stolen CIA cash. Daniels is blown up and Bourne is chased by Keystone Kops.
   Landry does some digging and Nicky goes into hiding. Bourne goes to New York to spy on Landry's office from across the street. His real name is David Webb. Nasty Noah goes after him. Bourne burgles his office. Cue another chase. Bourne heads for the Treadstone training facility in a stolen cop car. He gives a stolen file to Landy, who faxes it away under Nasty Noah's nose.
   The head trainer says that Webb volunteered to become Bourne, the killer. Bourne suddenly remembers everything. The CIA director is in deep trouble over Black Friar, so is Nasty Noah and the guy who ran the program. And David Webb is in the wind at the end.

[Bonk Holiday Monday, 29th] FNF replay, the Bombers in Montreal [10:30, ESPN] The Bombers started with a FG after 3 minutes. The Als went 2 & picked at their 40, BB FG, 6-0. A sack by Shologan on Glenn then one by Cole. Then the punt was blocked at the MTL 12. Another FG. 9-0. The Als replied with a long drive to a TD for Logan after 13 minutes. 9-7.
   The Als forced and recovered a fumble and Adams scored a TD in Q2, +2, 9-15. The Bombers replied with a FG. Bang! Leggett returned a pick 59 yards for a BB TD. 19-15. The Als kicked a FG with a couple of minutes left in the half. 19-18.
   In Q3, the Als missed a 53 yard FG try but they forced and recovered a fumble, only to go out on downs at midfield. Plenty of defence. A sack for 31 on Nichols in the last minute of the quarter. The Bombers kicked a FG with 9 minutes of Q4 left. 22-18.
   Westerman sacked Glenn. Bowman of MTL gave up 25 yards for roughing plus objectionable conduct; but the Bombers had given away more penalty yards. The Bombers reached TD range but Harris scored a TD with an 18 yard run after the 3MW. 29-18, 2 minutes left. A pick by Loffler; good night Als. The Bombers kicked a FG for 29-18 and Bass picked off Glenn. The End.
Then, in the West, it was the Riders @ the Esks [13:00, ESPN] The Esks kicked a FG after 4 minutes. Then Bell rushed for 42 yards and a long scramble by Reilly ended with a TD pass to Walker. 0-10. Bell took a TD pass. 0-17.
   The Esks were stopped by a pick by Gainey 8 minutes into Q2. Durant was sacked by Lacy with 34 minutes to go. 0-19. A FG for each team made the half-time score 3-22.
   In Q3, Bridge came on for a few plays to get the Riders close and PI gave Durant a 1 yard TD run after 10 minutes. 10-22. Then the Riders fooled the Esks with a short kick off, only to go 2 & oat. Reilly was sacked in his end zone by an all-out blitz. 12-22. Another TD for Durant at the end of Q3, 19-22.
   Bell was off to the races again in Q4, 2 runs by Reilly, one getting close, the other ending with a dive for the pylon. 19-29, 10:47 left. The Riders went 2 & out. More Reilly and Bell, and a FG by Whyte gave him his 1,000 career points. 19-32.
   Lawrence hit the EE end zone after the 3MW but the convert hit the upright. 25-32. A bogus facemask call on Bell; his hand was nowhere near the face when he did a stiff-arm on the replay; and the Esks punted with 2 minutes left. Willis got a sack and the Riders went out on downs. The Esks went 2 & out and punted for 1 point. 25-33, 19 seconds left. Durant was sacked by Sewell on the first RR play, and the EE defence held up.
Eureka [18:00, Pick] A huge ice core arrives at GD. A crazy Russian ties Carter up in paperwork. Tess is in charge, Alison is on maternity leave, Crazy Taggart is back and Zoe wants to be a doctor. Taggart gets himself attacked by an ice anaconda. Ice starts taking over GD.
   The Russian spiv, of course, is too busy shopping to sign off on the ice core. Zane is being even more of a jerk than usual. Like the buildings of GD, and then the town, he's full of ice. Taggart says the core contains an ancient fungus. Carter torpedoes the shopping spree and, natch, points out the way to deliver a fungicide to get rid of the rogue ice.
Dork Matter [20:00, Syfy] Four and the convict lady have a one-night stand. Five finds Two collapsed; her nanites are failing and she's dying. She needs more from the corporate HQ of Dwarf Star Technologies, from which she escaped. So it's off to Earth. The rest of the crew dash off to save her and Two gets the android to give her a temporary fix so she can join the other.
   Two meets Eric, the sole survivor of the research team which tortured her. He treated her decently, she killed the rest. Three and Six are ambushed on the space station, Eric is shot. The Android gets the Marauder into the space station.
   Rebecca meets a faster, stronger version of herself; but survives the encounter. The team fixes her up with more nanites. Six tells Two that Three isn't himself; something inside Three is spaced. Two wants to know what was going on on the space station. The Android goes to recharge and wakes up in a bedroom.

[Tuesday, 30th] Sunday Night Football replay, the TiCats in Calgary [12:30, ESPN] The Stamps went 2 & out. The Cats brought Masoli on for a 3rd down play, managed 2 more then had to punt; the kick was blocked by Daniels at the TC 43. The Stamps were held to a FG. Good work by the TC receivers, more Mazoli in close, a TD was called back for holding, a sack by Beltre was wiped out by a TC challenge, a TD for Fantuz was wiped out by a penalty; finally, a TD pass to Tolliver. 7-3. One play by the Stamps, Daniels went 76 yards for a TD to close the quarter at 7-10.
   Lots of defence and more Mazoli in Q2. Davis got a splat sack on Collards. The Stampeders got close but were held to a FG, and they kicked another to leave the field 7-16 up at half time. Almost 100 penalty yards given up by the Cats.
   The Cats kicked a FG 4 minutes into Q3. Lots of defence but the Stamps were knocking on the door and started Q4 with a TD run by Messam, +2, 10-24. The Cats went 2 and out after a snap whistled past Collards. The Stamps kicked a FG with 9½ minutes left. 10-27. Owens went 43 yards on a 3rd & 2, TD for Tolliver on the next play, no +2, 16-27.
   The next TC drive ended in an interception in the CS end zone by Campbell, which he ran back 115 yards for a TD! Lots of boos when a TC challenge got it wiped out by an illegal contact. Booooooooooooo! The Cats struck again; a TD for Tasker, +2 to Tasker. 24-27 and no lead safe in the CFL. An onside kick attempt went out of bounds. The Stamps went 2 & out but kicked a 45 yard FG. 24-30 with the Cats needing a TD in the 32 seconds left. Didn't happen.
Eureka [18:00, Pick] Tess overnighted in the Sheriff's bunker. Zoe had a place at college but there was none for her boyfriend. Larry thought a super-collider test would wipe everything out, especially with Zane and Fargo running it. The $10 billion gadget ended up a broken ruin. Henry found there was an EM field fluctuating over Eureka.
   Lots of BS about a Nemesis star, which causes a reversal of the Earth's magnetic field every 65 million years, which we were told will lead to earthquakes and all sorts of other bad stuff. Total BS, of course. Natch, it was Henry's pupil, who was Zoe's hissy BF, who had created a copy of Nemesis with an experiment and Carter had to save the day, as usual. And Tess announced that she had a new job.
IndyCars: the Texas 600 part 2 [19:30, ESPN] Called off originally for rain and a crash on lap 71, Newgarden and Daly out in part 1 and not allowed to compete. RHR took the lead as the drivers set out to complete the 248 laps, sparks flying from titanium skid plates. Hinchliffe and Castroneves took turns at the front. Hinch could run longer and faster than anyone else. He was still ahead after what would have been the last round of stops, but Carpenter had reduced his 10 second lead to a couple.
   Dixon hit the back of Carpenter and went into the wall on lap 213. Green for lap 221 with lapped cars up with the leaders. Carpenter crashed on 225, Castro was damaged by his crash and needed a new tail and nose. Restart on lap 231. Alyoshin crashed out Hawksworth on lap 233.
   Kanaan was the only driver of the lead 4 to take tyres. Green for lap 241. Rahal caught up with Hinch and he stole the win from the man who had dominated the race by the length of a front wing. Kanaan was 3rd followed by Pagenaud and Castro.
The Closer last ever episode [22:00, Alibi] Someone called in a killer burying bodies in Griffith park. Rent boy Rusty was almost killed by the killer and unmasked him. Brenda recognized her old adversary Philip Stroh's back view in a supermarket video. Stroh got a tug but walked out on Brenda. So she attacked him in a lift to get blood and hair samples to rig the mask.
   Rusty refused to co-operate unless the cops found his runaway mother. Stroh invaded Brenda's home and she got to fill him full of lead; but not lethally. Brenda and Gabriel went to work in the DA's office and Captain Raygun inherited Brenda's job (and also the creepy Rusty).

[Wednesday, 31st] Eureka [18:00, Pick] It was Founder's Day, Tess was off to Australia, and Alison and baby and Kevin were back. Zane proposed to Jo and was turned down. Suddenly, Sheriff Carter found himself back in 1947 and the security morons at Camp Eureka thought he was a spy. Alison helped him to escape and Jo was blowing the place up. Fargo was also there and naked. And Henry.
   Henry thought it was solar flares plus something Kevin had done. Carter and Alison met Dr. Trevor Grant, who was as bright as Einstein. Everyone got back to Eureka, but a different one. Zane thought marrying Jo was a huge joke, Henry was married, Kevin was normal and Tess was still there and married to Carter. And Dr. Grant was also there.
Shades of Blue [21:00, Living] The dirty cop is pretending to be upset about killing Saperstein. He tells his gang that Sap is a dead hero. Her Fed controller tries to tell Harlee it's not her fault. The dirty cop makes a witness to a stabbing 10 years ago Harlee's problem.
   She refuses to go along with covering up violence to kids by cops to protect her daughter from a video of her smoking dope, and she makes a deal with the Fed. The bad cops are sorted out and Harlee tells her Fed she thinks the dirty cop killed Saperstein.

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