[Friday, 01st] NCIS [21:00, FX] A guy went berserk in a decompression chamber and ended up dead. The rest couldn't be released for 4 days so Duckie got the inmates to take some samples for analysis. McGee found that the divers weren't welding a pipeline, as advertised. A corporate suit told Gibbs that the mission was classified. There was a lot of that about.
   Abby found that the dead guy had been asphixiated with helium; someone had switched off his oxygen line. The secret mission was hacked; the company was trying to sell the CIA pods for weapons, which could be parked on the sea bed and retrieved as needed. But the pods were no good because they leaked.
   A drug cartel had stepped in and put drugs in waterproof packets. The killer was spotted, and the corporate suit lawyer in cahoots with her.

[Saturday, 02nd] 40 Days & Nights (2012) [19:00, Syfy] Deserts start getting flooded and the Earth is facing an extinction-level event for no apparent reason.
"Where is all the rain coming from?."
"The sky."
"Where is all the water coming from if ocean levels aren't dropping?"
"What?"
This is the level of the science.
   Luckily, the US Navy is building a set of arks for no apparent reason, but only one will be ready in time and it will hold only 300 people. So people tell their families and thousands of people head for the ark hangar. It's When Worlds Collide revisited.
   Loads of DNA samples have to be retrieved from a train and a couple of ladies get a couple of guys killed going after samples of specific honey bees "or there is no hope for any of us?" Really?
   Denver's floooded? Crumbs! Mile-high city? Where did all that water come from?
What?
Predictably, the ark's engines don't work and the crew has to improvise sails. Then it gets stuck between 2 mountain peaks and it has to be blasted loose! The storm ends on Day 40. Hooray! But there's nowhere for all that water to go.
Bad Boys (1995) [21:00, Watch] $100M in heroin is stolen from the police lock-up. Has to be an inside job, sez the IAD lady. Two wiseguy detectives, Mike & Marcus, have to get the heroin back. Bad guys have a party with a couple of ladies, shoot it up and Julie gets away via a high-jump down to a swimming pool. She phones the cops and demands to speak to Det. Mike, but Marcus is there so he pretends to be Mike.
   Julie reveals later that she's never met Mike, but the deception has to go on. Big battle in a club and Julie fails to kill a BG who tried to kill her. Cue a car chase and Kaboom! for the BGs, who are the only lead to the dope. Luckily, two other BGs are raked in whilst Marcus is being a pratt.
   BGs grab Julie and shoot up Mike's lobby. The mole in the PD is exposed; she provides a lead to the BGs, who are in a hanger, loading the dope into a plane. Everything is blown up, the BGs are blown away and, as usual, SWAT arrives after all the shooting is over.

[Sunday, 03rd] Abu Dhabi GP [15:30, Sky Sports F1] Hamilton on pole, Vettel's engine blew during the warm-up lap. Bottas clobbered Hamilton at turn 1, so that was his chance of a win gone. He needs to learn how to get off the line and stay out of trouble. Rosberg gifted a win, Raikkonen 2nd, Hamilton 3rd.
Moto3 in Argentina [16:30, BT Sport 2] A wet start to the day had dried up somewhat, parts of the track were dry but it was spitting with rain. Binder was on pole for 21 laps. Pawi and Loi shot off into the distance on the first lap. Everyone stayed on the track, which was unusual for Moto3!
   Loi got slower and slower as Pawi got faster, despite frantic signals from his pit crew to slow down. Marshalls started waving a rain flag at one part of the track with 14 laps to go but no one was bothered by it. Pawi was 26 seconds ahead going into his last lap. Loi had dropped to 16th, but he got a point because a guy ahead of him fell off.
Moto2: Sam Lowes was on pole for a dry race of 23 laps. Folger & Zarco shot past him, Alex Marquez crashed going into lap 2; hit a wet patch. Lowes went to the front and Morbidelli joined the lead group. Zarco was right up with Lowes at half-way and took the lead with 11 to go.
   Lowes was down to 3rd with 5 to go. Back to 2nd with 3 to go. Morbidelli dropped it at turn 1 on lap 22; the wet patch got him. Zarco, Lowes, Folger at the line.
MotoGP: concerns about the reliability of the tyres cut the race to 20 laps and everyone had to change to another bike on lap 9, 10 or 11. Shock, horror! Will it rain. Marquez dropped back to 4th from pole, Dovizioso took the lead. Bang! Bang! Marques into the lead. Lorenzo crashed out with 15 to go; damp patch at turn 1. Dovi & Iannone kept swapping 3rd. Vinalez went past both of them on lap 9.
   A perfect bike swap for Marquez and off into the distance. Not quite doing a Pawi, though. Scott Redding went out with 5 to go; bike broke. Vinalez fell off at turn 1 with 3 to go; damp patch. Dovi and Iannone were running 2nd and 3rd when Iannone crashed out himself and his team mate. Pedrosa, whose podium hopes had been crushed at turn 1, lap 1 by Iannone's bad driving, inherited 3rd.

[Monday, 04th] Well, that was different; Jessie Jay playing the US anthem on a saxophone with twiddly bits before the Phoenix Indycar race [replay, 14:35, ESPN] Oval track, fast & dangerous, and the ridiculously short lap means the leaders are into the back of the pack within a few circuits.
   Montoya lost the lead to a flat right-front. Dixon took it and, surprisingly, stayed there for the rest of the race. RHR clouted the wall with about 9 to go and shed a piece of rear wing onto the main straight. Next thing you know, they were waving a yellow flag with the white flag and the final lap was run under caution. Montoya, last week's winner, managed 9th.

[Tuesday, 05th] Castle [21:00, Alibi], Alexis and Hayley, the assistant, were in L.A. They got an invite to a murder in a local graveyard; a local P.I. with his heart ripped out. He was just back from New York. Hayley knew the local fuzz. Dead Philip thought there was a serial killer called The Phantom with 4 kills in L.A. and 3 in N.Y. Castle was contacted by a secret society of P.I.s; whichever of Castle and Kendal, a lady rival, cracked the case would be invited to take Philip's place.
   A N.Y. cop uncovered another killing, proving that there were 2 killers. There was an ex-Special Forces guy involved. Alexis discovered that Hayley was involved in Castle's mysterious disappearance. Yawn. The cops in NY shot a guy. Castle spotted the L.A. killer: Trevor had distinctive handwriting. Castle turned down the club membership and recommended Kendal instead. Then Castle got a message from himself about protecting Kate.

[Wednesday, 06th] Rizzoli & Isles [21:00, Alibi] A bloke blown up in the woods. The gang arrives and Sgt. Korsak eventually spots all the other craters and realizes what the audience spotted in the first 2 seconds; that they're in a minefield. Korsak, of course, steps on one and has to be rescued. Jane insists on watching in case he's blown up.
   Jane gets hysterical whilst harassing a suspect. Maura aims the cops at the guy who built the mines. Korsak smacks him one. Jane does a rant at the custody sergeant, demanding to see the suspect again; until Korsak tells her that Alice was released 3 days ago!
Rizzoli & Isles [22:00, Alibi] Bonny & Clyde; Clyde (Alice) shoots a cop and drives off, leaving Bonny (Wendy) stranded. Jane is still mad that Alice, who blew up her apartment, was released from the lock-up. Korsak harasses Alice's father, a decorated cop. Wendy gets the drop on Jane but the other cops get the drop on her. Alice has a son and she's in Canada, Wendy says.
   The son is adopted. Jane ruined Alice's life by being better than her at the police academy (really? how pathetic, you scriptrotter). Korsak's wedding goes off but Alice drives back across the border to shoot someone at the reception. Natch, we don't find out who until later in the year, when everyone has forgotten what happened.

[Thursday, 07th] RAW [17:00, Sky Sports 5] 'Twas the might after Wrestlemania, so there was even more chat than usual. Who taught the crowd in Dallas to do football chants? The one I liked best was "Flairs are Rubbish!" Always have been, always will be.
Elementary [21:00, Living] Watson was having a clothing drive. The Midnight Ranger was found shot. Luckily, Watson was an expert on superheroes. SH's dad wanted her to do some investigation for him. SH got the job of identifying the dead MR. The Standard Bearer offered his help.
   Was Mike the MR killed by another costumed clown? SH found that the Standard Bearer was wearing a MR costume now, but he'd had it for ages. There was a drug dealer Mike used to hassle. Not him but he gave a lead to a cop, who pointed SH at Al Baxter, a failed mass-murderer! Finally, Watson unmasked a mole.
Lie To Me [22:00, Alibi] Jake, a player in the big poker championship, is missing in Vegas and Cal has to find him. He's a big deal to the casino, which gets a $2M ransom call. The old guy who faked the kidnapping is busted with Eli's help. Jake is still missing.
   Abe, an ancient poker player, is found dead. Killed by Jake, the dumb Fed thinks. Cal has the blonde lady arrested for it to make her talk. Jake is tracked down. He saw Abe's murder and freaked out. The Russian's the killer. Reynolds dunks him in the swimming pool. Cal demands a double bonus of $1M and blows it on 00 on a roulette table.

[Friday, 08th] NCIS [React, 21:00, FX] Start with a kidnapping. An old pal (female) of McGee's joined the gang and Agent Fornell of the FBI took an interest in the kidnapping. The Sec.Nav.'s daughter had been grabbed with a classmate, who was dumped. He said the BGs were Special Forces, and a gang of them had taken exception to the Sec.Nav.'s policies.
   A ransom payment was set up. The BGs took the cash, shot the father a bit and blew up Gibbs and Fornell a bit. Dinbozo and Bishop found a plugged body; the woman who had set up the kidnapping. The HBG wanted revenge on the Sec.Nav.. All he got was busted. Then the Sec.Nav. got wobbly about staying in her job.

[Saturday, 09th] Agatha Christie's Marple [18:00, ITV 3] Jane was invited to a crumpling pile, which the family couldn't afford and an English Heritage-ish lady was hoping to gobble the place up. A German count was visiting as part of an iron ore deal. A fabulous diamond brooch was stolen from the house around 23 years before, in 1932.
   One of the security staff was clobbered and Count Ludwig was missing. Bang! Everyone rushed to the secret passage. One dead Ludwig. "It wasn't me," claimed Anthony, Virginia's boyfriend, who wasn't supposed to be there. A lone inspector arrived and fell into Miss Marple's clutches.
   Anthony told his tale. The remains of the parlour maid suspected of stealing the diamond were found. She knew the Count back then, when he was a fiddle player in a small orchestra hired for a ball. A musical code was cracked. Was the Count after the stolen diamond? Someone poisoned the soup. Constance, the housekeeper, was croaked.
   Anthony admitted being after the diamond, and he was arrested. Virginia accepted George's rival offer of marriage. Anthony proved his innocence to Miss Marple's satisfaction. She explained the fake gunshot. The diamond wasn't in the crypt with dead Agnes, who had been killedl by his lordship when she had tried to prevent him from seeing her ladyship with the Viennese fiddler in 1932.
   His lordship hid the diamond, which wasn't stolen. He did in the Count and framed Anthony and poisoned the housekeeper. So he got a ride in a police car. The Count, who was Virginia's father, had come to take her away. And the English Heritage-ish lady got the big house.

[Sunday, 10th] MotoGP [16:30, BT Sport2] from the Circuit of the Americas, Austin, TX, where it was cold and threatening rain. Moto3 had a topsy-turvy grid with Oetl on pole. 18 laps. Navarro swept into the lead and Fenati claimed 2nd early in lap 2. He began to knock out fastest laps at one-third distance and took the lead with 11 to go.
   Oetl did Quateraro for 3rd with 3 to go; Quateraro clearly had a problem. Antonelli had a spectacular crash on lap 17 with his bike sliding across the track but through a gap in the other riders. Binder pinched 3rd on the last lap.
Moto2, 19 laps, Rins on pole. Lowes went up to 2nd on lap 2. Moto3 was unusually civilized but there was lots of racing in this leg. Kent retired with 14 to go. Rins and Lowed built a big lead on the rest. Nakagami was done in by Corsi with 4 to go. Lowes seemed to have settled for 2nd by then. Rain started spotting on the last lap but nothing to worry about. Who would be third? Zarco had a bit of a gap on the rest.
MotoGP, 21 laps, Marquez on pole (who else). Tons of action behind Marquez on lap 1. Rossi crashed at turn 2, lap 2. Dovizioso was crashed out by Pedrosa's crash with 15 to go. Ianonne inherited 3rd behind Lorenzo. Crutchlow then Smith both went out at turn 11 with 14 to go. They remounted but finished 16th and 17th. It was Marquez by a mile at the end. Redding, 6th, was the top Brit.

[Monday, 11th] Gotham [22:00, Channel 5] The cops chase Mr. Freeze to a helium works but he's long gone. Dr. Lee tried to shrink Bruce Wayne's head. The Captain decided to put Mrs. Fries into Gotham Asylum to trap her old man. Dr. Lee insists on going with Norah. Miss Peabody is torturing Penguin at the asylum. Alfred gives BW a suspect for the murder of his parents but insists on doing the killing if it comes to that.
   Dr. Strange does a deal with Mr. Freeze and lets him get away with his wife and Dr. Lee. BW asks Selena to get him a gun so he can kill Matches. Mrs. Fries manages to commit suicide and Victor freezes himself. Dr. Lee is upset because Gordon didn't tell her what really happened to Galivant. Dr. Strange adds Mr. Freeze to his collection, which is quite extensive.

[Tuesday, 12th] Castle [21:00, Alibi] Castle's mom has a book out. A body and the killer dug the bullet out: Daniel Bardot, a recruit at the NYPD academy. He needed to set something right. The murder weapon was issued at the academy. 13 recruit suspects. One of the recruits dealing drugs and he paid off Daniel, who needed cash. Beckett had a go at his girlfriend but she knew nuffink.
   Bardot had bugged the academy computer system for major crook Jack Flannegan, who told Beckett to get lost. One of the recruits was Flannegan's estranged daughter, who was vulnerable to blackmail. She told Bardot what was happening and she had no idea he was going to do a deal with Flannegan to keep him quiet.
   The daughter pulled a gun on Flannegan and Beckett pulled a gun on her to defuse her. Beckett pulled a gun on the sergeant at the academy just before he was shot by the real BG. It was the crooked head of the academy.
The Closer, new series [22:00, Alibi] A massacre at a crap rapper's mansion, 7 dead. Not gangs and drugs, the black cop said. There was 700 grand on the premises. Brenda found herself stitched up by the bosses over a vexatious law suit. The crap rapper's recording company was making a bomb. Add a dead pizza guy to the body count.
   Brenda decided not to let Decker, her drug-dealer suspect, have his 700 grand back. The crap rapper was planning to switch from Decker's recording label. Brenda scammed Decker but he wasn't the killer. Brenda nailed the killer, the FBI got the 700 grand and Chief Pope quit. Then the corporate uniform in charge collapsed. Looks like a stroke.

[Wednesday, 13th] Outrageous acts of science [20:00, Discovery] has gangs of talking heads looking at speed freak videos from the internet and explaining the science behind apparently amazing stunts. Like a buggy which can hyroplane along 300 metres of a river and 19 other examples of things in motion, including sitting on a chair on a surfboard, a bloke with bionic boots, swinging from one paraglider to another on a trapeze! and flying a plane under a car jumping from one ramp to another.

[Thursday, 14th] Elementary [21:00, Alibi] A missing person case from a client with access to police files. SH says yes with a punch in the face for the customer. Vince is a self-defence maniac. He was about to be audited and he was 200-grand's worth of pills short, which he borrowed from a friend. He swore he was breaking off with the drug dealers. Did they get him? Or did he run away?
   No, Vince is a bit dead. And he spent 100 Gs on a luxury doomsday bunker. SH found that the place was a structural joke, and it was the murder scene. The cops gave the guy in charge a hard time, so he couldn't be the killer. Eventually, Vince's partner was nailed and SH's GF demanded a shag.
Lie To Me [22:00, Alibi] Cal was invaded by kids then a nutter parked a bomb in a truck outside his institute. The good ol' boy nutter wanted to talk to the president. The Feds wanted Cal to find out if he really had a bomb. Cal wasn't sure so the head Fed brought in the snipers. Why the kids had to stay in the building and why they didn't evacuate them through the back door was never explained.
   The bomber's wife was a prisoner; that BG was busted. Harold was left sitting on a bomb with a radio trigger. The real BG was spotted and shot. Then Eli got all happy-clappy with the kids. The Feds were still hell-bent on blowing up the truck with Harold inside. But Cal saved him from the homicidal Feds.

[Friday, 15th] NCIS [Loose Cannons, 21:00, FX] An ambush and lots of guns and ammo gone. There was a dead German BG and a female PO in a critical condition. The dead guy had an implant recycled from a priest who disappeared in S. Sudan. The African connection meant that Dinbozo had to work with Dr. Jeanne, the Frog's daughter, again.
   Abby found a bullet which went back to stolen ammo traded by the Frog, which upset Jeanne even more. Then her car was blown up. ATF found the guns but not the 3rd shooter. Gibbs was sure they were up to no good. ATF was following tracking chips in stolen ammo to find out where it went. It was NCIS, natch, which raked in the missing BG. The Gibbs got to help a lady therapist with her crossword.

[Saturday, 16th] Discovering Guns 'n' Roses [19:30, Sky Arts] Music and talking heads for half an hour. Incredible music which was great to revisit until we got to the Axel with his head up his arse era.
Deep Purple: Perfect Strangers [20:00, Sky Arts] A concert from Melbourne in 1984, Ian Gillan back doing the vocals.
Deep Purple Rises Over Japan [20:20, Sky Arts] is from 1975, when David Coverdale was doing the vocals.

[Sunday, 17th] Childhood's End [Syfy version, 3 part serial, VM On Demand] Arthur C. Clarke's severely dystopian vision of the fate of mankind is the framework of the 1953 novel with the detail rewritten for an American audience and the internationalism written out. In both, the Overlords park their spacecraft over mankind's cities as Man is about to blast off to the stars and tell the world that the stars are not for us.
   What we get instead is an Overlord policed society with no war, no nations and the human race reduced to a gang of frustrated idlers and impotent rebels. Then the humans are told that this is their final generation and the Overlords' Overlords are about to harvest all the children on the planet because they have developed telepathy and other psychic power.
   A man stows away on an Overlord spaceship for a trip to their planet, which last a few months subjective time for him and 80 years for everyone else. He returns in time to witness the (pointless) destruction of the Earth. The music by Vaughan Williams at the end was a nice touch, though.
Chinese GP replay [13:30, Channel 4] They're playing The Chain, so it must be F1; but not on the BBC. Qualifying disaster for Hamilton, who started dead last and lost his front wing. As did Raikkonen, who was rammed by Vettel. Ricciardo shot into the lead but he had a rear puncture on lap 3 and the SC came out for the abundant debris a lap later.
   Hamilton was up to a false 3rd due to out of sequence pit stops on lap 21/56. At the end, it was Rosberg by a record distance, Vettel 2nd and Kvyat claiming the last podium place. Hamilton, in a damaged car, was 7th.
IndyCars @ Long Beach, which makes Monaco look like Blackpool on a wet Tuesday [21:30, BTSport2] A military gent performed the US anthem, and did it very well without the usual messing about. Castroneves was in front for the start. Pagenaud got past Dixon, who reclaimed 2nd after his first pit stop. It was all very well-mannered to the half-way point and beyond. Dixon squeaked into the lead after his second stop. Pagenaud got past Dixon after his stop by chopping the yellow pit-exit line. All he got was a lousy warning instead of a real penalty. No cautions and all 21 cars finished. A tainted "win" for Pagenaud, Dixon should have had it.

[Monday, 18th] Gotham [22:00, Channel 5] Penguin is going crazy in the asylum. Bruce gets his gun and he and Alfred go after Matches. Alfred has to clobber Cupcake and ends up on the injury list. Gordon asks Nygma if he's noticed that Miss Cringle has disappeared, making Nygma go all paranoid. Alfred warns Gordon that BW has gone after Matches on his own.
   Matches obligingly kills himself when BW decides not to. Penguin is released from the asylum with a certificate of sanity after being experimented on by Professor Strange. Gordon still wants to know who paid Matches to kill BW's parents. BW runs away from the family home for a while to work out his destiny.

[Tuesday, 19th] Castle [21:00, Alibi] He's back together with Beckett again. Dead guy @ a high-security warehouse, 100 grand gone. The MO is 10 years old, Esposito realizes; mainly because Sonia, his girlfriend, was part of the original crime and he had to bust her for it. She's up for parole, Beckett needs to use her to get to Hammerhead, another of the old gang.
   Hammerhead is popped but he has an alibi for the new crime. Det. Ryan decides it was an inside job and the dead guard was the inside man. Esposito takes Sonia home and she waltzes off just before Ryan warns him about her. Sonia is after her stashed share of the gold. Espo is grabbed by the BGs, but Sonia's homicidal mate is clobbered and she goes back to stir minus the gold.
The Closer [22:00, Alibi] Wow! The useless Chief has been written out, Chief Pope is back to replace him and he's keeping Captain Raider on Brenda's case because he thinks damaging her will be good for him? The gang is called away from the funeral for a murder with a very amateur burglary. Brenda harasses the dead girl's professor, who has a history of cheating on his wife with students.
   Some of the property from the burglary is found, ditched. With it is a laptop stolen in another burglary 4 months before. The son of the house claims it's his,which leads to the cops busting a teenage burglary ring at the local school. The son of the house is involved but others killed Ashley. And the professor's marriage is history.

[Wednesday, 20th] Outrageous Acts of Science [20:00, Discovery] Can the experts spot real stunts from fakes? 20 viral videos. Fake, fake, Real, fake, Real, semi-Real, fake, fake, semi-Real, Real.
   Fake – MythBusted!, Real, Real, fake + Real!, Real, fake, Real.
   The snake and her lunch were Real; the car U-turn on the wall was faked, shooting a balloon from 1,000 yards away? Jerry is just that good!

[Thursday, 21st] Elementary [21:00, Living] SH's next customer arrived wounded. Lin had hosted a high-stakes poker party, which had been robbed, and she was being set up as one of the gang. Lin used to date Mycroft, like Watson. SH found the poker game's disappearing bodyguard dead, so he called in the cops. There was a secret camera at the crime scene. Det. Bell found the cheat but he wasn't the killer.
   The NSA ordered Watson to stop investigating. Watson spotted one of the robbers. The NSA was watching 3 Turkish spies and didn't care about robbery and murder. Lin was lying about dating Mycroft. SH spotted that the robbery was a distraction for data theft. So the Turkish card dealer from the poker game did a deal. Surprise! Lin is Watson's half-sister.
Lie To Me [22:00, Alibi] A woman escaped from a killer, who was going to bury her alive. Dr. Cal lost 200 bucks to a guy who could lie successfully; and decided he had to be a cyclepath. The university had a missing person but the head wouldn't believe that Cal's guy was dangerous. Eli & Ria had to save the reputation of a teacher, who saw a UFO and who was being railroaded out of his job because of it.
   Cal and Reynolds shadowed Martin. One of the pupils had a video of the UFO, Eli discovered. Martin killed his sister when he was 5. Martin buzzed Ria so Agent Reynolds buzzed him. The Air Force came up with a load of baloney about the UFO, and Eli had to go along with it to save the teacher's job. Cal put himself in the firing line, he was waterboarded but the cops arrived as Martin was about to bury him; near where he'd buried 4 earlier victims.

[Friday, 22nd] NCIS [After Hours, 21:00, FX] There's a 911 call and a bloke with a rap-sheet, who attacked a woman, is dead; shot by a PO. Gibbs doesn't buy the petty officer's story, and the rest of the gang keep shooting holes in it. None of 3 ex-wives wants to I.D. the body. Ducky puts the time of death back by an hour. McGee upsets his girlfriend by breaking the rules on talking about work. Dinbozo blows a date with a blonde lady above his pay grade.
   Gibbs spots that the crime scene was staged. Bishop drops in at his place and everyone ends up at the crime scene in the middle of the night. The PO is dragged off his ship to be confronted with his lies. He won't budge so Gibbs cracks the girl. The dead guy used to rape her when she was in prison, he spotted her on the day he died and it was self-defence.
   Job done, everyone starts heading for home, but it's a new day and there's another case for them.

[Saturday, 23rd] Midsomer Murders [They Seek Him Here, 18:00, ITV3] They were making a film in Midsomer Magna; The Scarlet Pimpernel with a guillotine. The police were watching a bad guy lurking there. He got a job as a security guard from the barrow boy at the manor, who was running out of cash. There were buckets of personality clashes with Nick, the film's director, who was drugged and beheaded.
   Then no more bodies! Barnaby suspected an insurance fraud in the wind. Right! The thieves were busted as they were removing the barrow boy's fake antiques and the crook was being set up as the fall guy. At last. Gwen was done in just before the last set of adverts. Also drugged first.
   Tom Barnaby homed in on the evil old Raymond, who had turned Ted, Gwen's husband, into a boozer and killed him. Barnaby outsmarted Raymond's attempt to do in Ted's brother.

[Sunday, 24th] Moto3 @ Jerez [09:30, BTSport 2] Bulega was on pole and Binder was demoted from 2nd to dead last for illegal software. Antonelli's bike croaked on the grid. 2 crashes on lap 1/23. Navarro was ahead after 1 lap. The top 3 gapped the bunch, through which Binder sliced. Bulega took the lead on lap 6 but not for long. Binder was 4th on lap 9. Antonelli crashed with 11 laps to go to ruin his day completely.
   Binder was with the leaders on lap 14, 3rd on the next lap, 2nd on the next. He took the lead with 5½ laps to go and rode away from the other three. Bulega pinched 2nd and Bagnaia nicked 3rd from Navarro.
Moto2: Lowes on pole, 26 laps. Folger went off into the lead but Lowes was soon past him. Alex Marquez crashed on lap 3. Kent also fell off. The track had warmed above 30 deg.C and become greasy, and riders continued to be caught out. Folger stayed with Lowes, Rins was further back in 3rd. Olivera crashed with 6 to go, promoting Zarco, the champ, to 5th.
MotoGP, 27 laps, Rossi on a very rare pole. It was 2 Yamahas and 2 Hondas out front. Marquez went past Pedrosa and shadowed Lorenzo for a long time. Rossi zoomed off into the distance. Dovizioso's bike croaked with 18 laps to go. Marquez dropped back from Lorenzo. As boring a race as a Grand Prix.
Indy Cars from Alabama [20:30, ESPN] Easy 3-stop strategy, 90 laps, Montoya stuck at the back through total failure in qualifying, Pagenaud on pole. Bashing at the back so two more laps before the green flag. Dixon was tagged, spun and dropped to last. Bourdais needed a new front wing after attacking Montoya, who was quickly up from 21st to 11 then 7th after the first round of stops. Up to 5th after his final stop. Dixon was up to 10th.
   Pagenaud got stuck behind cars which refused to be lapped. Would Rahal be able to catch him with 8 push-to-passes left? Rahal had damage to the right side of his front wing. Pagenaud did in the other side when he blocked Rahal and went off. No action, said the stewards.
   Rahal's front wing came apart on lap 85, so that was another tainted win handed to Pagenaud. Rahal managed to deprive Newgarden of 2nd and Montoya finished a creditable 5th.

[Monday, 25th] Gotham [22:00, Channel 5] Mr. Nygma used a fake bomb to stage an art robbery. Someone has told IA that Gordon killed Galivant, not Penguin, who went to visit Butch. There was another bomb; the mad bomber was playing games, Gordon decided. Nygma was sure Gordon was after him for murdering Miss Cringle. Selena took Bruce Wayne on a robbery in a magic mushroom place. They were caught in the act and BW discovered his inner masochist.
   Penguin met his father at his mother's grave and acquired a new family. Gordon was set up for the murdeer of the witness against him, with the Captain's help, and railroaded up the river for 40 years. So he told pregnant Dr. Lee to forget him and leave town. Harvey was still on Gordon's side, though.

[Tuesday, 26th] Castle [21:00, Alibi] One beheaded Lars in Manhattan. Dead and rich. A jealous dumped boyfriend was grilled. Lars was a grave robber. Had he found Solomon's tomb and Aladdin's lamp? Castle decided that the mystery blonde who was haunting him had to be a genie, and there was a guy who thought a genie was after him.
   There was a bleeding carpet; with a body in it. The cops missed the stolen treasure. Alexis found the blonde was a security fixer, not a genie. The cops shot up suspects and got 11 of 12 crates of loot. Then Castle & the cops framed a university professor because she was an author. Sheer professional jealousy by Castle.
The Closer [22:00, Alibi] Lt. Probenza got another Lt. and Buzz, the civilian tech, to join in some moonlighting and ended up in the middle of a Federal case when they guy they served a writ on ended up full of holes and thrown out of a hotel window onto Buzz's car. The dead bad guy had been about to be sentenced in a major Federal fraud case.
   No, the dead guy is an imposter, the ME said. So Brenda was in competition with the FBI to find Herschbaum. He denied being the killer and blamed his wife. The cops served their writ and the lawyer who issued it was busted for the murder. Buzz got the reward for catching Herschbaum, being a civilian, and his cop 'buddies' got $200 each.

[Wednesday, 27th] Outrageous Acts of Science [20:00, Disco] No Limits edition: 2 feats of strength & agility, aerial tree ballet with a chopper; cup-stacking, a 250 mph electric motor bike, a 12-foot yo-yo, Lego with an excavator, a 14-foot golf club, a car run on coffee grounds, a mega stick-bomb, parachute gap-busting, dream drops into a gorge, the double amputee on a skateboard, serving fried chicken bare-handed, wall dangling/dancing, a truck jumping over a racing car, the world's fastest running robot and No. 1: a guy with a parachute docking with a guy in a wing-suit.

[Thursday, 28th] Elementary [21:00, Living] Watson's sister didn't want to know her. A dead employee of a marketing firm, dumped at 4 a.m. The cops hassled her brother. There was a self-appointed art critic, who had it in for Phoebe. An art burglary was a diversion to cover up someone messing with a picture. SH thought that the burglar was the killer. The motive: to keep an innocent man in gaol for killing a Marissa.
   Det. Bell harassed a lady state trooper. Then a bent forensics lady. She denied being the killer. So it was someone in law enforcement. Watson's sister said that her mom would talk to Watson. Back to the state trooper. Marissa was seeing a married woman; the conniving lady ADA. So she was busted.
Lie To Me [22:00, Alibi] An IRA car bomb went off outside the Institute. Jimmy Doyle was back and Cal was next? Eli was a near miss and a Mr. Andrews was dead. He was a spy and Cal's boss 7 years before, when Doyle's wife and daughter were killed. Lots of flash-backs to when Dr. Foster did a shrink job on Cal back then. Eli got on her case in the present.
   Cal was bashed by spooks. Doyle denied killing Andrews and he nearly got Cal blown up. Cal busted up a press conference telling official lies and confronted Prosser, the spook, and fed Finch, the guy who killed his wife and daughter, to the terrorist. But Doyle didn't kill him.

[Friday, 29th] NCIS episode 300 [Scope, 21:00, FX] Sniper killing in the middle of nowhere in Iraq. There's a super sniper rifle missing. Gibbs has to talk to a wounded sniper, who lost the weapon. He's dead stroppy. Mr. Quinn shipped the sniper rifle to himself in the US in pieces. What's his target.
   The suspected BG is ex-SAS – i.e. British. The target is on a plane which will arrive at an airport in Virginia. So lots of sneaky security and Gibbs spouts some Charlie Crews zen then dresses up in his sniper suit to spot and whacks the BG.

[Saturday, 30th] Midsomer Murders [Death In A Chocolate Box, 17:55, ITV3] Ex-cons at a half-way house supplied by a landed gent had a knees-up. Milady was a regular guest at the local cops shop, shagging the Friday Nighters, until she was done in. His lordship went down for the murder, busted by Inspector Gina, wife of Sergeant Jack, a contemporary of Barnaby. Jack shopped the Friday Nighters and resigned. He was the probation officer for the cons and Gina was a professor of psychiatry and his lordship was her patient.
   Jack wouldn't speak to Barnaby then he was done in when he wanted to. Tom's daughter and BF arrived to stay; are they off to New Zealand? Gina & his lordship found Jack's body at a car wreck. Murder said the pathologist. Marston, the ex-con who was the prime suspect, vanished. The postman was one of the sacked Friday-Nighters. He was busted for stealing mail sent by jack to Barnaby.
   The postman was in league with Marston, who was the next corpse. His lordship was arrested for assaulting the police after trying to propose to Gina. The dead men were murdered in the same way as her ladyship, the pathologist decided.
   Barnaby discovered that Jack shopped the Friday Nighters after becoming one of them himself. Inspector Gina bashed her ladyship for shagging her husband, then she did in the blokes to keep them quiet. Barnaby let her throw herself under a train as an alternative to gaol. The BF wanted to marry Miss Barnaby. Tom decided to skive off to New Zealand with his wife at the end.