[Sunday, 01st] NFL Live from Wembley, the Lions vs the Chiefs. [14:00, Sky Sports 2] It was a good idea just to play the US anthem without some idiot murdering it. Needs to be done more. A promising opening drive by the Lions was held to a FG. KC came back at them with a TD drive. 3-7.
   Alex Smith started Q2 with a monster run of 49 yards to the DL 24! Two bad passes them Smith went 12 yards himself for a TD. 3-14. The Lions were stopped by a pick by 21 Smith, FG from the turnover. 3-17. Stafford was picked again; a tipped pass. TD from this one. 3-24. The Lions were sacked to a standstill with a minute left in the first half.
   The Chiefs started Q3 with a TD drive. 3-31. Sack #6 on Stafford at the end of the quarter. The Chiefs scored a TD 5 minutes in to Q4. 3-38. Moore rolled into the KC end zone for a TD with 7:21 left. 10-38. KC came back with a TD drive, and it was 10-45 final at the end of the massacre.
NFL Live: the Bengals @ the Steelers [17:45, Sky Sports 2] I missed the Steelers' opening TD because the feed to my laptop was totally crap (VM and/or Sky) and I needed to reset the connection. Strange there was never any need to do buffering during the adverts. FG for the Bengals. 3-7. And another. 6-7. A bad snap did the Bengals out of a FG chance with 3 minutes left in Q2.
   Q3: Finally, a R'berger pass into double coverage was picked off. 3rd & 34? No chance of making that and the Bengals punted. The Steelers kicked a FG in the 9th minute of Q3. 6-10. A 42 yard FG try by the Bengals was blocked. The Bengals got close in Q4 but Dalton was picked in the PS end zone. R'berger was picked whilst scrambling. The Bengals went in for a TD with 3 minutes left. 13-10. R'berger was picked again right away, FG for the Bengals. 16-10. The Steelers got as far as the CB 16, but no further. The Bengals 7-0? Wow!
CFL Live: The Redblacks in Hamilton [18:00, ESPN] The RBs got a FG from their opening drive. Same from the next attempt. 6-0. They kicked another FG at the end of Q1. 9-0. The TiCats managed a FG in Q2. 9-3. A challenge won a PI penalty on Ottawa for the TC but they still had to kick a FG. 9-6. All 5 FGs of the half kicked with the wind.
   In Q3, the TC reached the RB 11 but Mathews was picked off in the RB end zone. The RBs kicked a FG with the wind 5 minutes into Q4. 12-6. The Cats reached the RB 8, only to be intercepted. But Harris was picked off. Sack, sack, TC punt. A 56-yard RB punt stuck the Cats at their 1. They ended up with 1 second for a Hail Mary. Nothing from the final play, the RedBlacks win.
CFL Live #2: The Alouettes in Edmonton [21:10, ESPN] The Eskimos' opening drive produced a FG. Lots of Walker then he took a TD pass. 0-10. Montreal came back with a TD in Q2. 7-10. The Esks recovered a fumble 6 minutes in, but punted. Glenn to Stamps, 37 yards for a TD against a blitz. 14-13.
   A pick by McCoil stopped the Als' opening drive of Q3 and gave the Esks a FG. 14-16. A missed long FG gave the Als a point. 15-16. The Esks kicked a FG, the Als came back with a TD. 22-19.
   In Q4, the Als jumped offside and Reilly found Walker for a TD on the free play. Then Walker scored another TD with 9 minutes left. 22-33.Lewis dashed 53 yards through Swiss cheese, but the ball was fumbled into the Esks' end zone and recovered by them!
   Lots of defence. The Als were struggling, like the Jets on the other screen, two scores down. The Eskimos added another TD to their tally in the last minute. 22-40, job done.
NFL Live: The Jets @ the Raiders. The Jets were 3-0 up with 3:30 left in the first quarter when we arrived, and they'd lost Fitzpatrick, their QB. The Raiders finished a TD drive. 3-7. In Q2, Crabtree made contact with the defence at the NJJ 10 but barged on to the end zone and 3-14.
   Another TD for the Raiders with 5 minutes left in the half. 3-21. Woodson gave them another chance with a pick but a FG try missed. The Jets kicked a FG in the last minute of the half. 6-21.
   In Q3, a 59-yard, defence-splitting charge by Jones. 6-28. The Jets found the Oakland end zone 8 minutes in. 13-28. 52 yard FG for the Raiders. 13-31. In Q4, the Raiders kicked another FG. 13-34. End zone PI put the Jets at the OR 1, TD, 20-34. Smith was crunched and Fitzpatrick played out the match for the Jets. Nothing much he could do.

[Monday, 02nd] CFL replay: The Riders @ Calgary [09:00, ESPN] The Stampeders opened with a TD +2 points. 0-8. The Riders were sacked to a FG. 3-8. Calgary hit the end zone again after 10 minutes and added 2 more; 3-16. The Stamps kicked a FG in Q2 then scored a too easy TD after 9 minutes. 3-26. A TD for the Riders inside the last 3 minutes left time for a FG by the Stamps. 10-29.
   In Q3, the Riders went out on downs in the red zone. The Stamps drove from their 1 to a TD. 10-36. The Riders were sacked to a punt. In Q4, the Stamps kicked a FG and the Riders kicked one with 5 minutes left. 13-39. The Stamps kicked another FG inside the last 3 minutes and Roosevelt scored a consolation TD for the Riders. No +2, 19-42 final. A night to forget for the Roughriders.
NFL SNF hilites: the Pack in Denver [09:00, Sky Sports 4] The Broncos scored a TD in the 10th minute, and another in the first minute of Q2. 0-14. And then a FG before a TD by Lacy. 7-17. Swiss cheese in the 10th minute, TD Denver, 7-24. A FG for the Broncos early in Q4. 10-27. GB fumbled into their end zone and gave up a safety. 10-29 final and a wretched performance by the Packers.
Death In Paradise [19:00, Alibi] Estelle found a body at a rental place. Strangled. Poole had deja vu. There was a similar crime in England 5 years before. It was investigated by the objectionable and crooked DI Doug, who made his life a misery; the husband of the dead woman. Camille refuses to believe he's a suspect. Dead June was left in a wheelchair after a car crash with her sister, Janice, and June inherited a bundle from their father; which goes to Janice.
   Estelle is a crook. Poole makes an arrest but it's far too early for it to be the right guy. Poole sets a trap for Doug, who did a "I'll kill yours and you kill mine" deal with Ronnie. So egg on Camille's face at the end.

[Tuesday, 03rd] MNF replay: The Colts @ the Panthers [12:00, Sky Sports 3] Rain bucketing down. The Colts fumbled away their 2nd snap, the Panthers went 3 & out and kicked a FG. 0-3. Luck was picked whilst trying too hard, no damage. TD for the Panthers on a 4th & goal half way through Q1. 0-10.
   The Colts kicked a FG 5 minutes into Q2. The Panthers fumbled the ball away in the driving rain. The Colts were done out of a TD by pass interference in the end zone, which wasn't called, and kicked a FG. 6-10.
   The Panthers were near the Colts' goal line at the end of Q3, but fumbled the ball away. The Colts went 3 & out. The Panthers were soon back and scored a TD. 6-17.
   Luck was intercepted 3 minutes into Q4. The Panthers went on to a TD. The PAT missed. 6-23. The Colts replied with a TD drive. 13-25. Another TD for the Colts with 2:30 left, 20-23. Almost a pick but the Colts were able to kick FG and send the match into O/T at 23-all.
   The Colts started with a FG, the Panthers replied in kind. 26-all. A tipped pass was picked by the Panthers, and they managed a 52 yard FG for a 26-29 win.
Death In Paradise [19:00, Alibi] Boarding up for a hurricane had to wait for a dead meteorologist, Leo, at a crime scene staged to look like accidental death during the coming hurricane. Leo knew something explosive for his department. Was the killer a co-worker or a corporate conspirator? DI Poole tried, and failed, to ignore the hurricane, and what was the yellow rubber duck all about?
   The storm missed the island by 40 miles, as predicted by Leo. Poole found Leo's hidden data and did a grand unveiling; of the jealous professor, who stole Leo's manuscript and who was about to turbo-charge his mediocre career with a best-seller.
Lie To Me [20:00, Alibi] Dr. Cal had to screen tipsters in the case of a missing girl after a reward was offered. Eli had to screen a woman who was about to publish horrible memoirs of her experiences in Africa. Cal confronted a kid who had missing Samantha's back-pack. The publisher was told that there was no evidence that her author was lying (but that couldn't be the end of it.)
   Dr. Cal eliminated the self-castrating paedophile. Samantha was found; she said her name was Jessica. There was another girl, Sammy admitted. The author admitted that the terrible things in her book didn't actually happen to her. What should Eli do? Cal got into a tale of a woman getting substitutes for a dead daughter and the book was pulled.
Battle Creek [22:00, Universal] There's a fire-bomb attack on the Commander; her dog didn't bark when the bad guy opened the window. She offers a list of 17 blokes whom she has dumped! Russ calls in Milt. Is the boss' contractor burning down buildings to get repeat business? Russ and Milt arrive as another house goes up in flames. Russ puts the fire out but Milt is the hero with the neighbours.
   A killer firebug is busted, but he didn't do the boss' house. Neither did the contractor. What about Danny, the boss' estranged criminal son? What if the arsonist was trying to seduce the Commander and the fire was accidental? The dumped neighbour across the street was just trying to get back together with her.

[Wednesday, 04th] FNF replay: The Lions @ the Argos, for whom Ricky Ray was starting after a gap of almost 12 months [06:00, ESPN] Two and out for the Argos but the Lions were stopped by a pick. No damage. A couple of plays to a TD for the Lions but the PAT was a bad miss. 6-0. A FG from the next BC drive. 9-0. The Argos kicked a FG in the last minute of the quarter. 9-3.
   The Argos got close in Q2 but just a FG for them. The Lions fumbled the ball to the Argos but sacked them into a punt. FG for the Lions. 12-6. The Argos were sacked to a 49 yard FG try, which missed. A 35 yard pass play, Ray to Elliot, then a TD bomb to Bates in the BC end zone as the next play. 12-13. Another pick with 32 seconds left put the Argos in FG range, no progress, a sack, and the FG try was a bad miss.
   The Lions gave up a safety for field position early in Q3. 12-15. 50 yards of penalties on the Argos helped BC to another TD, and a missed PAT. 18-15. Sack #5 for BC, the Argos punt. More penalties got BC to the Argos' 1½ yard line; TD, + 2 points, 26-15.
   A BC punt got them a rouge in Q4. 27-15. Sack #6 for the Lions. BC lost a punt returned for a TD to a penalty, and their next punt was blocked and returned for a TD by the Argos! 27-22. The Argos recovered a BC fumble and went on to a FG. 27-25. Punt. Punt. BC had a FG try blocked! 33 seconds left. And when Ray was intercepted, it was good night, Argos. This was one the Lions had to win to keep their play-off hopes alive. The Argos are already there and they were just playing for quality of positioning.
Death In Paradise [19:00, Alibi] A victim of savage cuts, the episode opened with the body. Murder at a charity event and Jack Roberts was accused. The crime scene didn't add up to Poole and Roberts seemed to be the invisible man, able to come and go with on one getting a glimpse of him.
   The reason for this unfolded eventually. Roberts had been dead for 3 years and he was a victim of the crooked dead guy, who hadn't been planning to decamp with $3 million. DI Poole worked out that the murder had been carried out by the dead guy's secretary plus her two helpers. Poole got a trip to London as an escort for the secretary and the airline lost his luggage again on the way back to his Caribbean hell.
Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries [21:00, Alibi] A female body was found just outside an RAF airfield; no I.D. Inspector Jack got short shrift from the Group Captain, who had a lot of history with Miss Fisher. The dead woman was poisoned, said the pathologist.
   Miss Fisher tapped up the local Commies, then linked two of the staff of the airfield with the dead woman. Not interested in women, either of them, said the Groupie. Wrong! The dead woman had been pretending to be a man because she was mad on flying and the other "poofter" was her boyfriend.
   The dead woman had been on the trail of Communist saboteurs. She did a deal with an illegal Russian migrant to get the goods on Higgins, the local boss Commie. Miss F. did North by North West on Higgins then Inspector Jack nicked him. Then Miss F. exposed the poisoner at the airfield.

[Thursday, 05th] Rizzoli & Isles [21:00, Alibi] Jane was being phone-stalked and Maura was relaxing on the floor. The dead guy was strangled, and he had a stolen identity. The original Dan Walsh had been murdered the same way in L.A. 3 years before, so that was a drive across America for the ladies so that Maura could autopsy the other Walsh. Jane, predictably, hated everything about L.A.
   Both men were killed by the same guy and John Doe, a.k.a. Roger, faked his own suicide. Someone was messing with Jane's bank account. There was a crooked bartender, who was working a cheque-cashing and ID theft business. He was the killer. At the end, Jane found out that she was being stalked by whoever torched her apartment.

[Friday, 06th] TNF replay, the Browns @ the Bengals [13:00, Sky Sports 1] Nothing for the Browns. The Bengals made 4th & inches then a TD. 0-7. The Browns got to "and goal" but were held to a FG. 3-7. In Q2, the Bengals reached the Browns' 6 and they lined up offside for a 4th down! On to a Bengals' TD in the 11th minute. 3-14. The Browns scored a TD with time running out in the half. 10-14.
   The Bengals were held to a FG after 11 minutes of Q3. 10-17. They scored a TD from a reverse in the 3rd minute of Q4. 10-24. Another Bengals' TD half-way through. 10-31. The Browns blocked a Bengals' punt with 3½ minutes left, but did nothing with the turnover. No more scoring.
Murder, She Wrote [The Body Politic, 19:00, ITV 3] Jessica's pal, Mrs. Anonymous, was being stitched up by the opposition and a bent TV guy in her political campaign, so she asked Jess to become her speech-writer. Kathleen was stitched up with some photos of her and her campaign director, who was done in. He was wearing Kath's robe when he went off the balcony of her hotel room.
   Mrs. Fletcher dropped a bomb on the idle police department and got an insight into the treacherous campaign worker. Then she confronted Kath's husband as Kath was quitting the campaign. Then the crooked husband was busted for the murder.
Lake Placid 2 (2007) [21:00, Syfy] Two guys in a boat on the lake. Chomp! Chomp! One guy and some bits in a boat. Not something the locals want to hear. Ella, the wildlife lady, dives in and finds the missing head. Mad Sadie gets a tug but she won't talk unless it's about her missing sister, who had a history with crocodiles. Three backpackers go in the lake. Chomp! Sadie feeds a tourist to the monster. Chomp! A monster croc eats the sheriff's boat.
   A rich yob turns up to kill the croc. Emma wants to trap it but she gets the deputy eaten. The rich yob mounts a harpoon on his boat. The sheriff's son finds the monster's larder and some eggs. The stoopid yob flies into the path of a harpoon fired by his African bearer and crashes, but Emma writes off the croc. The bearer sacks his ungrateful boss.
   Natch, there's another big croc. It eats the African bearer. Mad Sadie sez there are 3 crocs. Chomp! The sheriff blasts one of the crocs. Crazy Sadie tries to feed Kerry to the last crock. Chomp! No Sadie. Emma kills the last of the crocs. No, there are 4 of them. Kaboom! Just eggs after that.

[Saturday, 07th] Operation CIA (1965, Burt Reynolds) [18:18, TCM] Sinister Orientals put a bomb in a box. Blimey! it's in black & white. One US spy blown up. He was on to something big. Agent Andrews is sent to Vietnam as an agricultural expert. Our hero gets done over by the thieving locals, who are planning to kill the US ambassador. They have no qualms about chucking grenades at kids. They also try to be lethal with a speedboat on the Mekong.
   The BGs chuck a snake at our hero during a scrap. The army shoots up some black-clad Commies. The BGs kill Andrews' assistant and he has to do some fleeing with a Vietnamese woman. Andrews drags a gas bomb out of the air-conditioning system and that's the assassination plot foiled. Hooray!

[Sunday, 08th] The Bombers @ the Argos [god knows when, ESPN] Up at 7, as advertised on the BT TV schedule, but just fillers and fillers. Switched off. Switched on again for MotoGP to find that the match was on and the first half was almost over. 7-12 at half time after the Bombers turned a pick at their goal line into a FG. The Argos remained firmly in charge through the 2nd half, and the final score was 11-21.
MotoGP of Valencia: Moto3 [09:30, BTSport 2] 24 laps, McPhee on pole, Kent on row 6 and needing 2 points to be champion if Olivera won. Olivera took the lead. Kent was up to 12th with 14 laps to go, and safe. But when he went past fellow Leopard rider Ono, the Jap kept getting close enough to crash out both of them, even after he was warned off by the management with 4 laps to go.
   Ono was still twatting about on the last lap. Antonelli, 4th, wiped out Fenati, 3rd, and Vasquez, 2nd, at the end of the last lap. Olivera went on to win but Kent, 9th, became the first British motorcycle champion since 1977.
Moto2 [11:15, BTSport 2] Rabat was on pole for 27 laps. A huge crash at turn 1 brought out red flags and a restart for just 18 laps. Rabat, Luthi and Rins went out front. Luthi dropped back and Rins got close, but Rabat held on for a win. Lowes was 4th in both the race and the championship.
MotoGP [12:45, BTSport 2] 30 laps, Lorenzo on pole, Rossi at the back for cheating in the last race. Lorenzo got away well, pursued by Marquez and Pedrosa. Rossi was allowed to carve his way through the field. He was 4th with 13 laps to go, and Marquez harassing Lorenzo. Pedrosa had a half-mile lead; the whole of the front straight; at that point.
   Had Rossi chewed up his tyres? Would Pedrosa do a charge and catch the leaders? A Honda 1-2 would make Rossi the chump. Pedrosa got past Marquez briefly on the penultimate lap, then dropped back. Their scrap gave Lorenzo a bit of welcome space, and he went on to win the race and take the championship.
NFL Sunday: The Packers in Carolina [18:05, Sky Sports 2] Newton found lots of space to run but the Panthers were held to a FG. GB was sacked 3 & out. Lots of Defence. Finally, Rodgers to Rogers at the end of the quarter for a TD. 7-3.
   Swiss cheese in Q2, a TD the other way, 7-10. Another TD for the Panthers 6 minutes in then a FG after 10 minutes. 7-20. Lacy fumbled the ball to the Panthers at the GB 24, they went 3 & out and a FG try missed. GB went 3 & out with a sack. Luck fired a spectacular TD pass to close the half. 7-27.
   The Pack started with a TD pass to Cobb; 14-27 after a minute. The Panthers kicked a FG after 10 minutes. 14-30. They struck again 6 minutes into Q4. 14-37. The Pack managed a TD with 8 minutes left, + 2 points. 22-34. Another GB TD with 3:43 left. 29-37. The Packers got close with 2 minutes left, but Rodgers was intercepted and that was enuf to seal a win for the Panthers.
   The Packers' offence seemed to be out to lunch for most of the match and the defence had Swiss Cheese Disease. Apart from that, they were pure magic. Not.
Over to the Broncos @ the Colts 9 minutes into Q1, 0-7. The Colts kicked a FG 3 minutes into Q2 for 0-10. They scored another TD after 8 minutes. 0-17. Surprise! The Broncos returned a punt 83 yards for a TD with 00 left on the game clock. 7-17 at half time.
   The Broncos scored a TD 3 minutes into Q3 and got level with a FG after 10 minutes. 17-all. The Colts had been getting nowhere but they woke up suddenly at the end of Q3 and scored a TD a minute into Q4. 17-24. The Broncos got level at 24-all with 9 minutes left.
   The Colts went ahead with a FG, then picked off Manning right away. The Colts chewed up the clock and set up for a FG with 28 seconds left. But holding by Denver gave them a first down, so the Colts took a knee and finished 24-27 winners.
They screwed up showing the first CFL match earlier today. What will those useless twats at BT do to the Stamps @ the Lions [22:30, ESPN]? Show it 15 minutes late due to a load of pointless fillers.
   A FG try by the Lions 5 minutes in yielded a single. The Stamps went ahead with a TD in the 2nd minute of Q2. 7-1. A huge pass play to 88 got the Lions near the red zone; holding, FG, 7-4. The Stamps missed a FG just before the 3MW, and lost an interception to a penalty.
   BC kicked a FG 6 minute into Q3 for 7-all. A long scramble by Tate then he threw a huge TD pass for the Stamps at the half-way mark. 14-7. A case of a simultaneous catch went to the offence: the Stamps, who advanced to the BC 1 after a shower of simultaneous penalties on the home team, TD, 21-7.
   BC fumbled the ball away with 9 minutes left? No, incomplet forward pass after a review. Didn't do them any good. The Stamps scored a TD with 4 minutes left and 28-7 was the final score. Not a serious match; one for giving the 2nd strings a run out.

[Monday, 09th] CFL replay: the Tigercats in Ottawa [19:30, ESPN] Still no Collards for the Cats. The Redblacks struck first with a FG. 0-3. A punt return was fumbled to the RBs and Banks was half-killed. A sack for -12 yards then a 32 yard TD pass to Ellingson from Burris. 0-10. Another TD for Ellingson with 10 seconds left in the quarter. 0-17.
   The Cats kicked a FG 4 minutes into Q2. 3-17. They punted 8 minutes in, Burris was picked and the TC returned the ball to the RB 1. TD, 10-17. Doubtful offensive PI then an illegal block; 1st & 30 for the TC inside the last 2 minutes. But they managed a FG. 13-17. A punt by the RBs was returned to their 4 with 6 seconds left. TD for the Cats, 20-17.
   Banks was back for Q3. Burris fired a 32 yard pass to the TC 6, Walker in for a TD, 20-24. Hamilton put the ball on the ground again; recovered by Ottawa. On to another TD for Ellingson, who was over 1,000 yards for the season. 20-31. 7 mins left in Q3. The Cats had to punt but did a trick kick and got a TD from the drive. No +2. 26-31. Another takeaway by the Cats but the fumbled the ball right back to the RBs.
   A TD for Sinopoli 3 minutes in to Q4. PAT missed and returned to Ottawa end zone by Banks for 2 points. 28-37. A 43 yard pass to Ellingson from a flea flicker got the RBs to the Cats' 53, Powell rushed 34 yards, a TD pass to Williams on the next play gave Burris the record for single-season pass completions. 28-44 with 6:23 left. Lots of defence until it was too late for the Cats to get anywhere. Ottawa are now the Beast in the East.

[Tuesday, 10th] CFL replay: the Riders in Montreal [10:00, ESPN] It was new player day for both teams and Bridge was the first Canadian QB to start a match (for Montreal) for 2 decades. TD from his first drive. 0-7. Career sack 100 for Bowman stoppd the Riders. The Als were doing okay; until they fumbled the ball away. The Riders advaned to a bomb from Smith to the MTL end zone for a TD. The convert missed. 6-7. The Riders were stopped but got a 1st down from a fake punt. A sack/fumble to the Als ended the drive. Another TD for the Als in the last minute of the half. 6-14.
   The Riders fumbled the ball away at midfield in Q3. The Als were held to a FG. 6-17. The Riders were sacked to a standstill amid lots of defence. In Q4, Bridge scrambled then hurled a TD pass. 6-24. Smith did a lot of rushing instead of passing, then hurled a TD pass to the other Smith. +2 points. 14-24. Smith did his Houdini act then fired another TD pass on the next play. 21-24. 5:21 left.
   The Riders had to punt after sack 102 for Bowman but they got the ball back from a botched play by the Als with 1 minute left. FG. 24-all, O/T. The Riders started, they got a 1st and goal at the MTL 5 from PI, TD for Dressler, no +2 points. 30-24. The Als needed a TD with a convert to give Bridge a win from is first start. They almost fumbled the ball away, and when they went out on downs, the Riders were spared losing 16 matches in a season, finishing 3-15.
MNF replay: the Bears @ the Bolts [14:00, Sky Sports 3] TD for the Chargers after 8 minutes against a blitz. 0-7. Cutler fumbled the ball to SD when sacked toward the end of Q1. Q2 Fumble by the Bolts recovered by the Bears. But Cutler picked and the ball was returned 62 yards for a TD. Bad snap, mised PAT. 0-13. The Bears managed a TD. 7-13. The Bolts ended the half with a FG. 7-16.
   Lots of defence in Q3. The Bears barged into the SD end zone in the first minute of Q4. 14-16. A FG for SD after 7 minutes. 14-19. Miller made a one-handed catch in the SD end zone for a TD, +2 points, 22-19. 3:19 left. Consecutive sacks for the Bears, 3rd & 23, 2 incomplete passes, the Bolts out on downs. Chicago wins.
Lie To Me [20:00, Alibi] A couple were kidnapped by the military in some primitive Arab country. Yemen. Dr. Cal was called in to find out what the negotiator wanted before they executed the prisoners. There was a knock-off of a stolen pharmaceutical killing people. Cal had to find the thief.
   Cal spotted her quite quickly, she said it was the original drug which was defective, and we were into corporate skulduggery. Dr. Foster spotted the phoney negotiator. The State Department wanted Nicole back because she was a spy and it wasn't bothered about her brother.
   The Yemeni head stooge was bought off with an invite to the White House. And the lady in charge of the drug company was busted.
Battle Creek [22:00, Universal] It was fun Breakfast Day in BC. Bang! the football team's mascot was shot, and the mayor. There was a remote-controlled rifle so anyone with a portable phone was suspected. Milt deployed his FBI stuff. Russ got the mayor's crackpot file.
   Milt spotted a guy who was also in the file. Then the guy kidnapped the mayor? No, he was the mayor's drug dealer and the mayor wanted time out of the hospital for some crack. Unfortunately, the dealer had him into a bigger dealer for $19,000.
   Was the mascot the target, not the mayor? No. The mayor's brother fell into the frame. He'd created the career which the mayor was blowing with his partying and drug-taking. The mayor collapsed, drugged up, and Russ saved him.

[Wednesday, 11th] Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries [21:00, Alibi] The constabule has to become a Catholic god-botherer to marry Dot. Then he's rushed to a dead Italian. Two restaurant-owning families are having a tedious blood feud and, surprise, there's a Romeo & Juliet theme. The Comorra boss of the rival restaurant accuses the dead grandmother of stealing his family's recipes.
   Miss F. and Inspector Jack both get friendly with Italians. The dead woman was poisoned then attacked as she was dying. Vincenzo is busted for the assault but it's Mariana, the grand daughter, who did the poisoning. Grandma was going to send her to some backwoods village in Italy and she was paying a Comorra killer in installments to bump off Vincenzo.

[Thursday, 12th] Rizzoli & Isles [21:00, Alibi] Twitch, twitch; a dead woman on the floor. Jane wasn't worried about the attacks on her, she said. The ex-boyfriend sayd that the dead woman had a new boyfriend who was turning her back into a junkie. Her murderer left a watch showing a particular time; and this killing was linked to Jane's stalking because it was Jane's watch!
   Jane decided that the time shown on the watch was a coded message, not a deadline. The BG wanted everything from Jane. Jane decided that her mom was a target. But it was Jane who was grabbed. To be continued next year, when everyone will have forgotten what happened.

[Friday, 13th] TNF replay [09:00, Sky Sports 1] The Bills @ the Jets. The Jets kicked a FG toward the end of Q1. No sign of the Bills' offense in the hilites until a pick by Graham after 8 minutes brought the O out for a FG. 3-all. The Jets fumbled away the subsequent kick off, and the Bills' D were in for a TD! 9-3, the PAT missed.
   A TD for the Bills 4 minutes into Q3 got the score to 22-3, so we missed a couple of FGs. The Jets scored a TD after 10 minutes for 22-10. Another TD half-way through Q4 got the Jets to 22-17. The Bills botched a punt and gave the ball to the Jets at their 13. But the Jets went on downs because a FG was no use to them. The Jets ended up at their 31 witn 24 seconds left to score a TD. A pick by the Bills settled their hash.
Murder, She Wrote [Coal Miner's Slaughter, 19:00, ITV 3] Molly got sassy at the mountain miners' party and accused the mine boss of killing her father. Then she phoned Jessica to get bailed out of gaol. Natch, the mine boss was done in. The sheriff didn't arrest Mrs. Fletcher. Molly and her grandpa were the prime suspects.
   Molly was framed with the sheriff's help. The good ol' boys were not allowed to stage a gaol break. Mrs. F. framed the union guy so he tried to take her for a ride to save himself; but he ran into a crazy kid with a gun.

[Saturday, 14th] Gunman's Walk (1958) [18:05, TCM] Lee Hackett tamed part of the frontier years before and he thinks he's the biggest wheel around. His son Ed is out of control and a killer. Dad tries to protect him but Ed is too thick to know when he's well off. He stages a gaol break after his paw has done a deal to set him free and kills another man doing it. Then he decides to find out if he can draw a gun faster than Lee. Nope. Then paw tries to mend fences with his other son, Davey, who isn't a psycho.

[Sunday, 15th] Brazilian Grand Prix [15:30, Sky Sports F1] There was another Mercedes front row. Hamilton was 2nd with nothing to prove, and that's where he finished. The commentators nattered non-stop from start to finish but nothing much happened on the track. Vettel completed the podium.
CFL Eastern semi-final: The Argos back in Hamilton [18:00, ESPN] The army got the job of singing the national anthems in Canada and the US after a minute's silence for the victims of yesterday's terrorist attack in Paris.
   The Argos were stopped. The Cats replied with a FG. 0-3. The Argos killed themselves with penalties and the Cats kicked another FG. 0-6. The Argos got on the scoreboard with a FG in the 3rd minute of Q2. 3-6. Lots of PI by the Cats helped the Argos to the Hamilton 1, then a TD. 10-6.
   In Q3, the Argos were stopped by a pick but they did same to Masoli, who was replaced by Harris for a while. A rouge from a big-boot TA punt. 11-6. The Argos had to challenge to get a bad call reversed and marched on to a TD. 18-6. The Cats had a walk-in TD with 2:30 left in Q3. 18-13.
   Q4 started with a missed FG by the Argos for 1 point. 19-13. They had to give up a safety for field position. 19-15. The TC had a short field and scored a 3rd down TD. 19-22. The Argos missed a FG, which was returned, with a couple of minutes left. A FG for the Argos with 49 seconds left got them to 22-all. Time enough for the Cats to reach FG range with the wind behind them and win 22-25 to put themselves into the Eastern final. The Cats were the better team and the Argos shot themselves in the foot with their penalties.
NFL Sunday: the Dolphins in Philadelphia [17:30, Sky Sports 2] Miami's opening drive went to a FG. 3-0. The Eagles reached "and goal" and scored a TD. 3-7. Total bog-up of the kick return, the guy should never have left his end zone, MD from their 1! A sack and Tannehill fumbled out of his end zone for a safety. 3-9. The Eagles went further ahead with a TD after 10 minutes. 3-16.
   The Eagles kicked a FG 3 minutes into Q2. 3-19. The Dolphins reached "and goal" but were held to a FG. 6-16. The Eagles had a punt blocked in the 9th minute. 2 plays later, the Dolphins were in their end zone. 13-16. Sack/fumble on Bradford but the Dolphins fumbled their possession away. They challenged, they were ruled not to have had possession and the Eagles ended up punting on 4th down with 5 minutes of the half left.
   Lots of defence in Q3. The 4th Miami sack produced a fumble by Bradford, who went off injured and was replaced by Sanchez. The Dolphins finished Q3 at "and goal" and scored a TD in Q4. 20-16. The Eagles kicked a FG with 10 minutes left. 20-19. The Dolphins ate up the clock but had to punt after the 2MW. The Eagles went out on downs with a minute left, so the Dolphins were able to break their long losing streak in Philadelphia.
Western semi-final: the Lions in Calgary [21:37, ESPN] The first point came from a Stamps' punt after 7 minutes. The Lions kicked a FG after 12 minutes. 3-1. A pass bounced off a BC receiver to a CS defender, returned for a TD! No +2, 3-7. The Stamps increased their lead with a TD after 4 minutes of Q4, and got +2. 3-15.
   BC fumbled the ball away at their 11 but the Stamps fumbled it right back. BC had to give up a safety. 3-17. A TD for Messam with 4:44 left in the half. 3-24. Lulay came on for the injured Jennings and BC kicked a FG. 6-24.
   A rogue snap left the Stamps facing 2nd & 28 after 6 minutes of Q3; FG, 6-28. Nothing for the Lions after playing Q3 with the wind. A trick play didn't work for them in Q4. The Lions managed a FG. 9-28 A 61 yard pass play to Messam set up a TD for the Stamps. 9-35 and game effectively over with 5:47 left.
The Vikings in Oakland. TD for the Vikings after 4 minutes. 7-0. A pick by the Vikings after 11 minutes went to a dropped pass in the OR end zone and a FG. 10-0. The MV kicked another FG 5 minutes into Q2. 13-0.
   The Raiders battered into the MV red zone, and went on to a TD. 13-7. The Raiders scored another TD after the 2 minute warning for 13-14 but the kick-off was returned for a TD! 20-14. The Vikings missed a long FG try at the end of the half.
   Lots of defence in Q3. In Q4, a FG try by MV missed. The next actually scored. 23-14 with 3:50 left. Carr was picked off in the MV end zone with 2 minutes left. A long TD run by Peterson on the next play. 30-14. This was a good away win for the Vikings. They stopped the Raiders from scoring and stomped all over them to put a come-back out of the question.

[Monday, 16th] Murder, She Wrote [Wearing of the Green, 19:00, ITV 3] Mrs. F was doing a book set in a jewellery store so, natch, she was on the spot when a fiendishly expensive tiara was stolen. Predictably, the cops were useless but the female detective did suspect Mrs. F. A creepy reporter, who had been stalking a reclusive actress, attached himself to Mrs. F. The store's designer lady threatened to quit if they cut her pay by 20%.
   Lazlo, the gem expert and pal of the recluse, was done in. The creepy reporter was busted. He claimed Lazlo delivered a small bag to the recluse. The lady detective refused to believe it contained the tiara. Mrs. F. invaded the hermit to get her busted. She had a just a copy of the tiara. So Mrs. F. got the designer lady busted to shift the blame for her murder of Lazlo.
SNF replay: the Cardinals in Seattle [21:00, Sky Sports 5] The Cards were at the SH 6 after a long drive then Palmer was picked off. The Cardinals had the ball again at the end of Q1 and there were back in the red zone in Q2. But they went backwards to a FG. 3-0. Wilson fumbled into the Seattle end zone but recovered the ball to give up a safety. 5-0. Butt-Fumble II?
   The Cards got close again, they were sacked back but Palmer found Floyd with a TD pass on 3rd & 4. 12-0. Another huge pass to Floyd was downed at the SH 1? No, Floyd was given a TD on review. 19-0. Two minutes later, Graham dropped a pass in the AC end zone but the Hawks ran in a TD. 19-7.
   In Q3, FGs got the score to 25-10. Then the Hawks managed a TD. 25-17. A sack/fumble on Palmer in Q4 gave the ball to the SH at the AC 2, TD, no 2-pointer, 25-23. Another sack/fumbled yielded a defensive TD for Seattle. No +2, 25-29, 13 minutes left.
   The Cards went ahead with a TD with 8:41 left. 33-29. On another 3rd & 4, an AC receiver went 48 yards down the sideline for a TD. 39-29. The Seahawks kicked a FG with 58 seconds left. 39-32, and that's as close as they got.

[Tuesday, 17th] MNF replay: the Texans @ the Bengals [18:00, Sky Sports 5] The Bengals had the best of Q1 but managed just a FG toward the end of it. The Texans reached the CB 1 a couple of minutes into Q2 but were held to a FG. 3-all. The Texans got better and a long CB drive was held to a FG. 3-6.
   A bouncing ball interception put the Texans in charge 2 minutes from the end of Q3, and they went on to a TD in the first minute of Q4. 10-6. At the end, the Bengals were scrambling to score a TD for a win. A catch/fumble on a 4th down went to the Texans and survived a review. The Bengals' first loss and a great show away from home by the Texans.
Lie To Me [20:00, Alibi] Dr. Cal's daughter was irritating about his lack of a social life. He decided that 2 suicides of Indian sisters off the same bridge 3 days apart had to be suspicious. They had been working as strippers and the club owner was filming them and putting them on the internet. Did their brother drive them to suicide? There was another suicide to add to the mix.
   Dr. Foster and Eli tackled a swindler, who was dying and had stashed lots of loot for his daughter. Dr. Foster was focussed on getting the cash back to return to the victims. Eli realized that the daughter was crooked and should go to gaol as an example to others, so he ratted her out. Then he found a way to lie to Dr. Foster about what he did and get away with it.
   Meanwhile, the Indian girls were surrogate mothers. The guy running the racket was busted but he looked like getting away with his involvement in the suicides. So Dr. Cal scammed him and got him busted for Murder 2.
Battle Creek [22:00, Universal] Milt gets to meet Russ' gaoled conwoman mom, who is released to help with a murder; there's a foot with a peculiar shoe, and it belongs to her ex-partner, who helped her to scam a mobster's nephew; the crime which sent her to gaol. The partner's dad is as bad as Russ's thoroughly rotten, but wise, mom, who still has her million from the scam.
   The murder weapon belongs to Russ's mom; it's found beside the rest of the ex-partner's body. She keeps saying she was framed but Russ won't believe her. The polygraph says she's guilty. Mom stages an escape then Russ reveals that he's been working a con on his mom; she's the bait. The killer is nabbed but so is mom's million and she goes back to gaol.

[Wednesday, 18th] Murder, She Wrote [Prediction: Murder] Mrs. F. met Leo's daughter-in-law; a nutter who saw auras. The son was another deadleg. Francesco, the psychic, performed at a party and did a number on Jill. She was hurled off a spooky horse and she was sure she would die in a fire. Then she disappeared.
   Leo paid out a million bucks in ransom to get Jill back but she crashed her car and burned on the way home. Murder, said the state police lieutenant. The marriage was garbage, the son admitted, and he wanted out. Mrs. F brought the Swedish maid into the equation and put the lieutenant on the right track.
   Francesco and Jill were busted at the airport with the million bucks. it was Greta, the maid, in the car.

[Thursday, 19th] WWE Raw [16:30, Sky Sports 2] The Brothers of Destruction with more crap about souls. More crap from the tedious Wyatts. Neville had to lie down for Kevin "the Blob" Owens. Ambrose (pick him as the winner) vs Ziggles was a lengthy struggle. No surprise at the finish.
   Reigns (winner) vs Cezaro was big and obviously tough against tough, but not so obviously so, and agile. They put on a good show before the bigger guy "won". Alberto Mexamerica (yawn) vs Calisto (no chance). Yawn. Charlotte had a weep-a-thon at her contract-signing with Paige. Boo-bluddy-hoo. And there was a shambles brawl with refs joining in at the finish.
Murder, She Wrote [Something Borrowed, Someone Blue, 19:00, ITV 3] Mrs. F. can't go to a wedding without someone being killed. Grady, her nephew, was the groom and the rich parent wanted Wilfrid instead, only he had turned into a biker degenerate. The housekeeper was Stalin in knickers and the family are horrors.
   There was a dead housekeeper in the bushes. The cops were servile before the father of the bride and useless. So Mrs. F took over and unmasked the killer: Valerie, the black widow, whom the housekeeper had recognized. Then the wedding went ahead.
Elementary new series [21:00, Living] Sherlock Holmes' dad keeps saying he's on the way but he never shows up. Meanwhile, SH is trying to solve a crime from 1927 and he could be going to gaol for felonious assault. A guy admits killing two girls but he wants SH to prove that he didn't kill his wife. The chief of detectives sacks the consultants; Watson as well as SH. Even the NSA won't give SH a job.
   SH decides that the 2 girls were planning to kill someone but the intended victim took them out. SH blackmails a gaoled cartel guy. SH is not going to gaol. He tracks down El Gatto, the people smuggler, who got the girls' families killed, and who killed the girls. At the end. SH confronts his dad, who says SH has made a mess and he's there to fix it.

[Friday, 20th] Murder, She Wrote [Weave A Tangled Web, 19:00, ITV 3] The cheating wife is cheating with a guy who's in hock to Augie over his gambling habit. Eric is done in. Jessica goes to a book signing and finds that the cheating wife has a house husband with 2 kids in Cabbage Cove, and another husband in New York! Worse, the dumb sheriff in Cabbage Cove is going to arrest her.
   Mrs. F tries to do a number on Augie but fails. The dumb sheriff arrests Vivienne's husband. Mrs. F sets Augie on Frankie, the barman, who stole the 50 grand that Viv gave to Eric to pay off Augie. Frankie is the killer.
TNF replay: the Titans at the Jags [21:00, Sky Sports 5] Why were the Jags dressed up like elves? Something to do with Xmas? Or was it elf 'n' safety? The Titans opened the scoring with a FG. The Jags got going at the end of Q1 but they were held to a FG in Q2. 3-all.
   The Titans kicked a long FG 3 minutes in. The Jags lost the ball struggling for a 3rd & 1 but no damage done. The Jags were at midfield with 1:25 left. They got to FG range with the next play, and that's as far as they got. 6-all.
   The Jags got close at the start of Q3 but failed to run in a TD. FG instead, 6-9. A diving TD for the Titans with 6:24 left. 13-9. In Q4, the Jags were stopped by an interception when they were looking threatening but the Titans did nothing. The Jags returned a punt 63 yards to the TT 5, 3:34 left. A TD on the next play. 13-16. The Titans fumbled the ball away immediately and the Jags kicked a FG. 13-19 and enough for a win.

[Saturday, 21st] It's Bruce "Wimpy" Willis night.
The Fifth Element (1997) [18:30, 5*] Aliens remove a weapon from Egypt in 1914, promising to return it when Evil arrives 300 years later. Everything on Earth, and off it (the space fleet), is screwed up and Wimpy Willis is an ex-Marine, Dallas, who's driving a flying taxi. The only way to defeat Evil is to assemble the 4 elements; earth, fire, air and water; around a 5th element: a perfect being.
   A perfect woman is grown from alien DNA. She dives off a tall building and through the roof of BW's cab. He has to deliver her to an old priest, who has a key to the temple in Egypt. The other 4 elements end up in the hands of Mr. Zorg, a major-league bad guy.
   Dallas is hauled out of retirement to save the world. There's a huge battle on Paradise, a resort spaceship, then Dallas takes the gang to the temple in Egypt where the film began. But there's a snag; the priest has no idea how to make the weapon work. But his assistant proves to be a source of accidental inspiration and it turns into a bad day for Evil, which is heading for Earth in the form of a huge, fiery meteor.
Red (2010) Wimpy Frank Moses, a retired CIA agent gets 3 Xmas visitors, who fail to take him out. Then 3 more shoot his house to bitz and end up dead, too. Moses heads to Kansas City to grab Sarah, whom he kept ringing about his pension, thinking she will be a target, too, because someone has to have bugged his phone.
   There's a trail of dead agents Mose collects a gang of ancient agents. Cooper, the FBI guy out to kill him, is let into the CIA vault of records that don't exist and learns that Moses was the best black ops guy of all time, but he's now Retired and Extremely Dangerous. Moses finds that a massacre in Guatemala in 1981 is the key. Everyone who was there is either dead or a target.
   It turns out that the Vice President did the massacre and he is now running for President. He's trying to clean up his past. Moses phones Cooper from Cooper's home to threaten his family and announce that he (Moses) is going to kill the VP. He leaves the Guatemala file behind so that Cooper knows what the VP is trying to cover up.
   The VP's announcement party is shot to bitz and blown up a bit. The Secret Service make frantic efforts to get the VP to safety and deliver him to a limo driven by Moses. Alex, the real head bad guy, into whose pocket the VP has fallen, tries to do some bossing around. But he ends up a bit dead.

[Sunday, 22nd] NFL Sunday: The Broncos in Chicago [17:30, Sky Sports 2] The Bears punted then offered some Swiss cheese defence to Osweiler (in for the injured Manning) to help him start with a TD. 7-0. Then some punting.
   In Q2, the Broncos got away with PI and the Bears kicked a FG. 7-3. The Bears were blitzed to a FG. 7-6. A punt by the bears bounced out of the DB end zone, forcing the Broncos to start at their 2. They went 3 & out but no harm done. At the end of the half, the Broncos added a FG to their tally. 10-6.
   In Q3, Cutler was intercepted after 7 minutes but the Broncos went out on downs going for 4th & 1 at the BC 2!! The Bears got close with a FG. 10-9. TD for the Broncos 4 minutes into Q4. 17-9. The Bears went out on downs inside the DB 10. The Bears gave the ball away with 2:23 left but they managed to score a TD with 24 seconds left! 17-15; no +2, game over.
CFL Live: The Ticats in Ottawa for the Eastern Final [16:07 ESPN] Still Masoli for the TC; they drove for 6 minutes to a FG. Burris and Ellingson carved through the Cats and Powell ran in a TD. 3-7. The Cats were stopped by a pick but the RBs did nothing with it. A pass by Tasker on a trick play got the Cats to the RB 8 and they were in for a TD two plays later. 10-7.
   Burris ran in a TD in Q2 for 10-14. Masoli was crunched and Harris came on briefly. Lots for the punters to do. Mazoli to a wide open Underwood, 61 yards for a TD. 17-14 at the 3MW. A punt by the RBs made the TCs give up a safety with 37 seconds left. 17-16. The RBs finished the half with a FG. 17-19.
    Plays by Powell and Ellingson gave the RBs a FG in Q3 for 17-22. Burris went down to the first sack after 7 minutes. More work for the punters. A FG for the RBs with 2:35 left in Q3. 17-25.
   The Cats lost a TD in Q4 to offside. Then procedure sent them back 5 more yards and they ended up with a FG. 20-25. Did Ellingson make the catch of the year? It wasn't given on the field and the review didn't have enough evidence. The Redblacks made the 2nd down and went on to a FG; 20-28 with 6 minutes left.
   The Cats missed a FG for 1 point with 3 minutes left. 21-28. A TD for Tasker with 1:34 left got them to 28-all. On a 2nd & 5 for the RBs, it was Ellingson down the sideline, 93 yards for a TD!!! 28-35 with 1:11 left. And that was enough to put the Redblacks into next weekend's Grey Cup in Winnipeg.
NFL Sunday: The Packers in Minnesota [21:26, Sky Sports 2] The Vikings punted. They jumped on a 4th & 1 to give the Pack a first down at their 25, and the Pack kicked a FG after 10 minutes. 3-0. Swiss Cheese D; a TD for the Viks after 12 minutes but their PAT missed. 3-6. The kick off was returned to the MV 34, FG for the Pack, 6-all.
   The Pack kicked a FG 10 minutes into Q2. 9-6. They reached FG range in the last minute. They lost a TD to off-setting penalties but Cobb took a TD pass with 6 seconds left. 16-6.
   GB was able to run the ball into FG range Q3 then their passing flopped and Rodgers got very pissed off, FG, 6-19. Bridgewater went down to the 4th GB sack after 8 minutes. The Vikings were in the GB red zone toward the end of the quarter, TD for AP, 19-13.
   The Packers came back with a TD in Q4. +2, 27-13. The Vikings were getting threatening when AP fumbled the ball away. GB did nothing and had to punt. They kicked a FG with 4 minutes left for 30-13. Then the Packers' defence held up until the offence was able to take knees to run out the clock. So ended a 3-match losing streak for the Packers and they're level with the Vikings in their division with 7 wins.
CFL Live: The Stampeders in Edmonton [21:36, ESPN] The Stampeders punted. So did the Esks but they recovered a fumble of the return and went into the CS end zone on a 3rd & inches. +2, 0-8. The Stamps kicked a FG for 3-8, and another at the end of Q1 for 6-8.
   In Q2, the Esks made a first down from a fake FG play using Lynch but were held to a FG. 6-11. The Stamps kicked a 48 yard FG. 9-11. The Esks challenged to get PI and keep a drive alive, but just a FG from it. 9-14. The Stamps kicked a FG with 2 minutes of the half left. 12-14. The Esks reached FG range then it was Reilly to Bowman, TD, 21-21.
   In Q3, Stafford took a pass 30 yards, then he took one 33 yards for a TD on the next play. 12-28. The Esks went further ahead with a FG after 7 minutes. 12-31. Lots of defence in Q3. The Esks ran a pick back for a TD but lost it to a penalty. A fumble recovery returned for a TD by Lacey ended up as just EE ball because some tosser blew his whistle too soon.
   A TD pass to Walker was the first play of Q4. 15-38. The Stamps were stopped by a pick. A TD run by Reilly made it 15-45. Boom! A 66 yard TD pass from Mitchell to Rodgers, +2, 23-45, 10 minutes left. A 3rd down TD for the Stamps with 5 minutes left, +2, 31-45. Don't panic! Calgary went out on downs with a minute or so to go. The Eskimos are in the Grey Cup.

[Monday, 23rd] SNF replay: The Bengals in Arizona [21:00, Sky Sports 5] The Cardinals started and were picked trying to make a 3rd & 20. The Bengals were at "& goal" at the end of the quarter. TD, 7-0. The Cards got level in the 6th minute of Q2. A screen pass against a blitz got the Bengals to the AC 2 inside the last 2 minutes, TD on the next play. 14-7.
   A 64 yard TD pass in the 4th minute of Q3 got the Cards back level at 14-all. The Bengals punted. The Cards reached the red zone and went in for a TD. 14-21. 4:44 left. The Bengals were sacked to a punt. Another TD for the Cards with 1:26 to go. 14-28.
   In Q4, Jones blew catching a TD pass for the Bengals on a 2nd and 26, they got to a 4th & 4 and made it to the AC 6, Dalton to the 1, TD. 21-28. The Cardinals got to "& goal", they were sacked back to the CB 15 and kicked a FG. 21-31, 6:27 left.
   There was 3:44 left after the Bengals scored another TD. 28-31. The Cardinals were stopped on a 3rd & 1; the Bengals sprinted to FG range and kicked a 43 yarder with a minute left. 31-all. The Cardinals rushed to the CB 26, they went on to a shorter FG and made it 31-33 with 1 second on the clock. The end.

[Tuesday, 24th] MNF replay: The Bills @ the Patriots [15:00, Sky Sports 3] A FG for NE half-way through Q1. The Bills kicked a 52-yarder in the 5th minute of Q2 for 3-all. Nearly a TD for McCoy in the last minute and a BB FG try hit the upright, leaving NE with time for a TD. 3-10 at the half.
   Did the Bills reach the NE 1 in Q3? No, the dive after 5 minutes was good enough for a TD. 10-all. 4 minutes later, a TD for the Pats. 10-17. Then a FG for NE in the last minute of the quarter.10-20.
   Taylor, the BB QB, was dinged but kept going in Q4. The Bills kicked a FG with 3:34 left. 13-20. They had another shot, Taylor was having headset problems, the Bills went out on downs. The end? No, an incomplete pass ruling was reversed. But the Bills couldn't manage another score.
Lie To Me [20:00, Alibi] Dr. Cal visited a disaster site; a construction project which had collapsed. He was working with FEMA. A guy hired Eli to find out if the woman he wanted to marry was just after his money. The trapped men were alive but one was in a bad way. Cal spotted the guy who caused the collapse among them. He spotted another suspect above ground.
   The trapped saboteur was terminally ill, Cal decided. Eli told the client that his intended was after his money but she also loved him. Cal confronted a dodgy inspector. Kaboom! The methane went up. Then Cal spotted the woman responsible for the disaster.
Battle Creek [22:00, Universal] Danny, the Commander's adopted black son and ne'er-do-well, goes to Milt thinking the guy who was sent down for murdering his parent 17 years before is innocent. Milt refuses to stop when the Commander orders him to. Pete, Milt's suspect, OD'd in 02. The owners of the death motel suggest Evil Eli, who was 14 at the time of the crime.
   Russ fails to crack Eli. Milt hypnotizes Danny then he gets the bodies dug up. Danny's biological father is busted. The former Commander, who made Russ' life miserable, has to do a grovelling apology for getting it wrong. He insults Russ so Russ stomps all over his official portrait.

[Wednesday, 25th] Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries [21:00, Alibi] Murder by electrocution at Aunt Pru's home, which had been taken over by Dr. Samuels, a quack treater of female hysteria. Betsy had removed her underwear and she had been using an electrical massager with a short circuit. Miss F. found the murder weapon. Dr. Perkins, an associate of Dr. Samuels, made it.
   Miss F. wondered about the money Dr. Samuels got from clients, but he was protecting Jemima from her father, a doctor who wanted to chop out her womb to cure hysteria. Dr. Perkins had stolen cash from the practice. Dr. Samuels was forced out of business so Jemimah threatened suicide.
   Murder by strichnine next. Harriet knew who killed Betsy, Miss F. decided. Dr. Perkins killed his blackmailing sister! Dr. Samuels relocated to Switzerland at the end, and took Jemimah with him.

[Thursday, 26th] NFL Thanksgiving: The Eagles @ the Lions [17:30, Sky Sports 1] A long PE opening drive went to a missed FG. 3 and out and totally crap for the Lions. The Eagles were sacked to a punt. TD for the Lions with a couple of minutes left in the quarter. 0-7.
   The Eagles started Q2 at the DL 1, TD for Selek, 7-all. The Lions marched to the PE 2, walk-in TD, 7-14. The Lions kicked a FG with 5 minutes to go and scored a TD in the last minute of the half. 7-24. What a limp half-time show that was. But Eagles fans were probably glad to see something worse than their team.
   The Lions went further ahead with a TD 8 minutes into Q3. 7-31. And another. 7-38. And another 4 minutes into Q4. 7-45. The Eagles scored a consolation TD with 3 minutes left. Still a crapathetic showing. 14-45 final.
The unbeaten Panthers in Dallas [21:32, Sky Sports 1] Romo's 3rd play became a pick-6 for the Panthers after 69 seconds. A CP FG made it 10-0. The Cowboys kicked a FG with a minute left of Q1.
   The Panthers kicked one 3½ minutes before half time. 13-3. Oh, no! Romo threw another pick-6 to the CP defence. 20-3. The very next DC play was intercepted! 59 Kuechly again. The CP reached the DC 2 with 7 seconds left in the half. FG for 23-3.
   Newton was sacked back at the CP 1 some 3 minutes into Q3, setting up 4th & 40!! The Cowboys managed a FG. 23-6. The Panthers kicked a FG but got a 1st down from a leaping penalty on Dallas. Newton went in for CP's first offensive TD. 30-6. Romo was crunched at the end of Q3.
   Another CP FG in Q4. 33-6. Cassel came on for the Cowboys and eventually drove to a TD with 4:23 left. +2 points. 33-14. And that's how it ended.

[Friday, 27th] NFL replay: The Bears in saturated Green Bay [11:00, Sky Sports 1] The Pack went out on downs at midfield on Brett Favre Day. The Bears lost a 10th minute pick to a penalty. The Packers went on to a TD for Lacy. 0-7.
   More Lacy into Q2 but he fumbled the ball away in the 5th minute. The Bears scored a TD 9 minutes in. 7-all. The kick-off was returned to the CB 33 and the Packers kicked a FG. 7-10. A TD for the Bears in the last minute of the half. 14-10. The Packers sprinted to a FG. 14-13.
   Was Rodgers injured 10 minutes into Q3? The Bears drove into Q4 to a FG. 17-13. Rodgers was okay and rushed for 10 then 20 yards. But after a completed pass, he was picked off. 3:19 left. The Pack reached scoring range, a pass was dropped in the CB end zone on 3rd down and the 4th down pass was rubbish. The Bears avenge their home defeat.
Parker (2013) [21:00, 5*] A bunch of clowns and a priest (Parker) pull off a robbery at a big fair. The organizer wants to use the cash as seed money for a big score. Parker just wants his share. So he ends up battered and shot at the side of the road. But he's rescued by some farmers. He escapes from hospital and pulls off a robbery for some cash.
   Parker goes after the bad guys for revenge and rampages in Palm Beach, Florida, where the big job will go off. The BGs have Chicago Mob connections and a killer goes after Parker's girlfriend. Her dad tries to buy Parker off but he is going after the BGs who swindled him on principle.
   An estate agent lady who's desperate for cash offers to help Parker. He wins a bloody battle with the Mob's killer by chucking him off a building. The BGs are planning to do over a celebrity auction disguised as firemen.
   Some BGs are terminated with prejudice. Parker shows up in Chicago 6 month later to write off the Mob boss. A year later, his lady associate in Palm Beach gets a ton of cash in the mail.

[Saturday, 28th] Zoolander (2001) [19:20, Film4] A bunch of bad guys want to get rid of the saintly ratbag of a prime minister in Malaysia. The male model industry also supplies assassins and Derek Zoolander is picked out as a particularly dim one, who can be brainwashed easily. Z decides he should be helping people just before his two dim buddies blow themselves up. He retires from the profession at the funeral and becomes a laughing stock.
   The wheels come off the assassination plan. Z joins his dad, working in the mine. Then he goes back to the biz and gets the Ipcress treatment to turn him into a killer. Z and Matilda, his not-friend journalist, are tipped off about models being used as assassins. Then their informant is done in. Z and the lady go into hiding.
   Will Derek kill the PM at the fashion show, which the BGs are putting on? He gets a trigger word from the scary bad guy lady, but he's unplugged at the last second. Jacko, the boss bad guy with the naff white hair, is foiled and Matilda bashes the scary lady. Then Z opens a school.

[Sunday, 29th] Abu Dhabi GP [13:00, Sky Sports F1] The last race of the season had the standard Mercedes front row. A fair bit of craziness on the track, and Bottas was released early in the pits and tagged Button as he crossed Bottas' nose, heading for his pit box. Bottas had to do a lap with his front wing dropping to bits before he could get a new one. Hamilton couldn't catch Rosberg. Raikkonen was 3rd.
NFL Sunday: the Giants in Washington [18:05, Sky Sports 2] The Giants reached midfield then a pass bounced to the WR for a pick; but 3 & out. Another WR pick, 3 & out and a FG try was blocked. Defences kept charge in Q2, then a 63 yartd TD pass for the Skins. 0-10 (when did they kick the FG?) Another WR TD after the 2MW? No, taken away on a review, 4th & inches, cue a sneak by Cousins. 0-17.
   In Q3, the Redskins went out on downs with a botched hand-off in Giants' territory. The Giants drove to "& goal" then Manning was picked off again in the WR end zone. No damage.
   The Redskins kicked a FG 3 minutes into Q4. 0-20. The Giants managed a TD with 10 minutes left. 7-20. What a diving catch for the Boy Beckham! 14-20. Would the Skins be able to eat up the clock? They left 29 seconds when they had to punt, and time ran out for the Giants as they were tossing the ball about at around midfield.
The Steelers @ the Seahawks. The Steelers scored first with a FG with 5:32 left in Q1. They were in FG range again at the end of the quarter but they tried to keep going and Jones threw a pick; which put the SH on the trail of a TD. 3-7. Wow! A TD for the Steelers on an end-around, sheer speed. 10-7. A TD for the Hawks with a couple of minutes left in the half. 10-14. Still 56 seconds on the clock when Willams hit the SH end zone, +2 points, 18-14.
   The SH returned the Q3 kick off 63 yards then went 3 & out. The Steelers kicked a FG after 9 minutes. 21-14. A monster pass to Graham to the PS 1, a TD on the next play but the PAT was blocked. 21-20.
   The SH got away with PI in Q4 to gain an interception, Graham injured. They scored a TD but no +2. 21-26. Boom! A 69 yard pass to Wheaton for a TD, no +2, 27-26. Boom! One back for the Hawks, no +2, 27-32. The Steelers kicked a FG with 3 minutes left. left, 30-32. Boom! A TD for the Hawks, 80 yards, 30-39 and that was it. Jones came on for the battered R'berger for the last 2 minutes.

[Monday, 30th] SNF replay: The Patriots in Denver, where it was chucking it down [13:00, Sky Sports 3] 3 & out for the Broncos. Gronk ran through tackles at the end of Q1 for a TD. Another for NE in the 5th minute of Q2. 14-0. Denver scored a TD with 2 minutes left in the half, and it was snowing then. 14-7.
   The Broncos ended Q3 with a punt. A 63 yard TD pass for NE to start Q4. 21-7. Another rushing TD for the Broncos with 12½ minutes left. 21-14. The Broncos were held to a FG with 6 minutes left. 21-17. They reached "and goal" with 2 minute left, and went on to a TD. 21-24. One minute was enough for NE to kick a long FG for OT. 24-all.
   The Broncos started, they got to a 3rd & 1 at midfield then Osweiler tossed a pass to Anderson and he went all the way for a TD. 24-30, the Patriots are beaten for the first time this season.
103rd Grey Cup @ Winnipeg: the Redblacks vs the Eskimos [17:30, ESPN] The RBs took the opening kick off to the EE 3, TD, 7-0. Lawrence fumbled away the kick off return at the EE 40. That set up another TD for the RBs (so much for being underdogs) but the PAT missed. 13-0. The Eskimos reached the RB red zone on PI but just a FG from it. 13-3 after 9 minutes. Burris was picked at the EE 50, Reilly to Bowman for a 23 yard TD play. 13-10. A bad penalty on the Esks kept an RB drive going. Burris was sacked again at the end of Q1.
   The RBs started Q2 with a punt. They returned a fumble for a TD but they jumped offside first. The Esks punted after a sack. The RBs kicked a FG in the 8th minute. 16-10. A 45-yarder for the Esks missed for a single. 16-11. The Esks reached the RB 2 as the half ran out. Shavers took a TD pass but no +2 points. 16-17 at the half.
   The Redblacks were late getting out for the second half; they blamed the officials for not telling them they were expected to play another 30 minutes.
   The Esks had to punt; there was a lot of that in Q3. The RBs took their next drive to a FG and the lead. 19-17. The Esks got a single from a long punt. 19-18. They kept a drive going with a fake punt at midfield but a FG try by Whyte hit the right upright for no score.
   More for the punters to do in Q4. An RB punt with 9 minutes left gave them a single. 20-18. Two big doses of pass interference by the RBs helped the Esks into their red zone. They reached the Ottawa half-yard line with 4 minutes left. Backup QB Lynch rushed in for a TD and Reilly returned to toss a +2 points pass to Shavers. 20-26. 3:17 left. The RBs were sacked to a punt. The Eskimos got the ball back with 2 minutes to kill. And they did it! Despite a penalty for having 15 men on the field with 23 seconds to go.
   The Eskimos are Grey Cup champions. Hooray!