December 2011

[Thursday, 01st] WW$ Raw [21:00, Sky Sports 3] Roddy Piper and Cena had a chat. Mizr & Nitro did some ham acting. The Bellas set out to flatten Kelly + Alisha, but it didn't work out for them. Some jawing in Mr. Laryngitis' office. Orton & Ziggler did lots of bashing and ham acting (especially by Orton). Barrett joined in and was splatted to let Ziggles sneak up on Orton.
   M. Cole shot his mouth off at tedious length. Swagger bounced Ryder around then had to lie down for script reasons. Punk & Rio did lots of bashing, booting and agonizing. Rio tried to stage a swindle but it didn't work out and he was done in and his announced was also flattened.
The Mental Case [Ring Around The Rosie, Demand 5] A guy was found stabbed lots at a "Rights for Wetbacks" march and Jane spotted a psycho. He had a gun when busted but also a carry permit. Special Agent Luther is the new boss. He spotted that the dead guy was a photographer. He's sharp.
   Jane boozed with Tibbs, the psycho, while Lisbon had to arrest Willy, one of her musical idols, when he admitted killing the photographer. Lisbon chased the missing camera and eventually busted the psycho derelict whose space the photographer had invaded, and got a deal for Willy.
   Luther wanted to give the psycho counselling. Jane wanted to lure him into a trap. And he had to include Luther in his scam, so the new boss psychoanalyzed Jane to prove that he's a clinical psychopath.

[Friday, 02nd] NFL Special [20:00, Sky Sports 3] was highlights of Thursday night's clash of Eagles & Seahawks in Seattle. A sack for Cole sent the Seahawks 3 & out. Young, on for the injured Vick, had his first play intercepted! A challenge failed and the Seahawk's drive went to Lynch bursting through a mob at the line of scrimmage for a TD after looking like he was jammed up. 0-7.
   Lynch opened Q2 with another TD for the Seahawks. 0-14. The Eagles replied with a TD run by McCoy, and the Seahawks almost finished the half with a FG for 7-17. Which left the Eagles with 16 seconds, which was time for Young to be sacked again.
   The Eagles started Q3 well but a tipped pass went 55 yards the other way in the hands of Browner to the PE 30. Jackson was sacked, more Lynch rushing and a TD pass to Tate extended the SH lead to 7-24. Wright got a sack during a long PE drive.
   The Eagles started Q4 making a 4th & 1 to keep that drive going, and a 3-yard pass play to McCoy got them to 14-24. In the next PE drive, Hill got a sack and a stupid pass by Young was picked off and returned for a TD by 57, Hawthorn. 14-31, 4:24 left, game effectively over. Browner stopped the PE with another interception, the SH ate up the clock and also moved the ball. Eventually, they went for a 4th & 1 close in and got to the PE 1, which was as far as they needed to go to win.
WW$mackDown! [22:20, Sky Sports 4, late due to cricket] It's the Mick Foley Xmas Show with the announcers dressed up in daft costumes! The Divas had a "mistletoe on a pole" match, which was won by Brie Bella. Gabriel versus Mahal went to a joke finish. Kidd versus Kingston promised much but went to a jolly fun finish for Kofi, the flying reindeer. The Vault: Kane bashing Mysterio.
   P'Chunga versus Orton resulted in the Xmas trees and other decorations being wrecked. Barrett joined in briefly, as expected, then he was done for the night. Next, a 20-man Battle Royal shambles with another jolly fun finish – the LGB outsmarting Shameless.
   Finally, D. Bryan versus M. Henry (who's twice his size) in a steel cage. Henry made much of his bad leg, but that didn't stop him pretending he was going to climb out. Bryan did the usual slow climbing to make sure it didn't work, the guys kept things going for a fair time, and no surprise when Bryan was eventually splatted.

[Saturday, 03rd] Foyle's War [21:00, ITV 3] The Yanks arrived in Hastings in 1942, some of the locals didn't want them there and some of them didn't want to be there. Will Grayson went up in a house fire; the war hero saved Foyle's assistant at Trondheim, so he was eager to find out how his dead pal got legless after a trip to a pub with weak beer and no spirits.
   Foyle's driver got a "Dear Sam" letter, which left her free to take up with one of the Yanks. They were making hooch at the Wheatsheaf! Pte. Taylor got a local girl pregnant and she was found strangled during a dance at the air base. Susan, who worked at the pub, had dumped Ben, her childhood sweetheart, who had been away on naval service.
   Taylor was framed for the murder and the Yanks wanted their MPs to handle the case. But Foyle insisted on being in charge. Susan had talked the landlord of the Wheatsheaf into setting up the still, his poison had caused Will's death, and he admitted killing Susan and framing Taylor. Job done, Foyle went boozing with the Colonel in charge of the air base.
Murder In Suburbia [23:05, ITV 3] A woman was found stabbed to death outside a charity shop, and Ash & Scribbs found themselves dealing with wife-swapping for charity. And dead Lynn had been having an affair outside the swapping circle. Gulp! It was with Fiona!. But it was the Gregsons who were ripping off the charity, and Scribbs found the clue which nailed them.

[Sunday, 04th] NFL Sunday, The Bengals in Pittsburgh [18:03, Sky Sports 3] The Bengals almost struck first but they lost a TD to a false start, they collected a delay of game penalty on a short FG and they had the actual kick blocked. The Steelers finished the first quarter in the CB red zone and they started Q2 by putting Mendenhall in the end zone. 0-7.
   The Bungles put the Steelers in their red zone with a 45 yard pass interference penalty, and Mendenhall scored again. 0-14. Then the Steelers made Tate fumble and recovered the ball at the CB 23, and went on to a TD pass to Wallace, who was wide open in the end zone. 0-21.
   Finally, the Bengals managed to score; a TD pass to Green, wide open in the PS end zone. 7-21. The Bengals had to punt inside the last 2 minutes and then let A. Brown return the kick for a TD. 7-28 at the half.
   Q3 was all defence until 3½ minute left, when Wallace battled 19 yards to the CB end zone for 7-35. The Steelers tried a 50 yard FG but missed. Charlie Batch came on for Roethlisberger and was sacked by Howard. And it was all defence until the Steelers could take a couple of knees to seal their win.
Next, the undefeated Packers in New Jersey [21:16, Sky Sports 3]. The Giants scored a TD in 1½ minutes with a pass to Beckum, who went 67 yards through huge holes in the GB defence. 0-7. The Pack reached FG range in their second drive, and Rodgers found Finley with a TD pass. 7-7. Cruz took a pass 42 yards to the GB 24, the Giants blew a challenge trying to get a TD and settled for a FG. 7-10. The Pack went 3 & out but Matthews picked Manning early in the Giants' drive and went in for a TD. 14-10.
   In Q2, the Packers punted after a sack by 91 then an interception by Blackburn put the Giants at the GB 12, and a 1 yard TD run by Jacobs put them back in the lead at 14-17. The Pack reached FG range but there was Driver, wide open in the end zone, so 21-17. A sack by Matthews forced a fumble, which was recovered by Raji for GB when he casually picked up what was still a live ball. But Crosby couldn't make a 43 yard FG try.
   The Giants blew their 2nd challenge in Q3, trying to overturn a sideline catch by Driver. The Pack went on to a TD pass to Jennings, which survived a review. 28-17. Nicks took a pass 51 yards to the GB 20, and his one-handed catch for a TD got the Giants to 28-24.
   The Giants started a drive at their 1 and finished it with a 50 yard FG from Tynes in Q4. 28-27. Dropped ball after dropped ball by GB receivers and a sack by 71 forced a punt. Nelson took a brilliant sideline pass in the next GB drive and a TD pass to Driver put the Packers back in the lead at 35-27 with 3:34 left.
   The GB defence remained full of holes and the Giants were able to make a TD pass to Nicks and add a 2-point conversion to level the scores at 35-all. 58 seconds left. The Packers were in FG range after just 2 plays, and Crosby didn't miss from 31 yards with just 3 seconds on the clock. 38-35 final and the Pack now 12-0. Phew!

[Monday, 05rd] New Mythbusters [21:00, Discovery] Will igniting methane gas in a sewer blow manhole covers into the air? Adam & Jamie's first small-scale test was a total bust but they blew their lids off in a highly satisfying way when they closed off the open ends of their sewer. Putting junk in it made the blast even more impressive.
   Does bed-liner; a scratch-resistant spray-on coating for truck beds; protect against car crashes, attacks by dogs and/or bombs? The Juniors found that a coating on a bumper protects it in a 6 mph collision with a wall but there was no added protection in a 25 mph shunt. Myth Busted.
   Grant built a biting robot to test fabrics coated with bed-liner and found that it made them bite-proof. Tory then subjected himself to an attack dog and survived. The coating was so rigid that he could barely move but Myth Confirmed.
   A&J, meanwhile, built a section of sewer and taking on this huge project explains why they had to put two filler "best of" episodes into this series. But when they filled their junk-packed sewer with methane and touched it off, the manhole covers shot 150 feet into the air. Myth Confirmed.
   The Juniors put Buster in 4 enclosures; 2 with wooden and 2 with cinder-block walls, plain and coated with bed-liner. Buster was blown to hell in the uncoated structures but completely unharmed in the coated ones. So bed-liner is bomb-proof. Myth Confirmed.
A Touch of Frost [Near Death Experience, 22:00, ITV 3+1] Larry was on a ledge again, he nearly got DS George killed and the wife & DSI Mullet both blamed Inspector Frost. Then a 15-year-old girl was put in hospital and her mother was murdered; not burglary. DS 'Razor' Sharpe, who had investigated a similar case 2 years before, was brought back as Frost's bagman.
   The chief constable wished a publicity-seeking lady profiler on Frost, and she started making up to Razor. The cop shop was being fumigated (or something) and everyone had to work in a warehouse. Plenty of suspects, like Mr. Markham, who was chucked by dead Helen but hoped to get back together with her, and the dodgy priest, who had secrets but who was just shagging parishioners.
   A search of the files uncovered 5 similar ritual murders. The shrink thought there would be another soon; and she was right. Then she went on TV, bragging about what she'd done for the police, and had a close, but non-fatal, encounter with the killer. Frost set a trap for the killer but, of course, he got away and poor old Frost had to half-kill himself chasing down the creepy God-botherer and be stabbed; in his stab vest. The shrink dumped Razor when the case was over and DS George will be okay.

[Tuesday, 06th] CSI:Miasmi [Paint It Black, 21:00, Channel 5] A student was spying on his girlfriend at the college spa, Monica (her room mate) found her dead and the boyfriend was busted. The dead girl had thallium on the keyboard of her laptop so the Cheesies tried to frame Monica, who was attacked next. Self-inflicted wounds, said the M.E.
   Alexis, a 3rd room mate, was missing. No, Monica didn't exist and Alexis had a split personality and memory loss about being Monica. She said Monica was the killer. The university's artist in residence was tampering with her medication. Why? Because Monica had a "once in a generation" talent as an artist and he wanted to suppress Alexis. So everything was his fault.
TNA [22:00, Challenge] Stink & Roode did some jawing. Most of the ladies were reduced to washing cars. Ink, Inc., the Mexes and Devon + the Pope had a 3-way for a tag-title shot, so a lengthy and action-filled battle ensued with the ref as a bystander until it was time to count Devon's pin on Jesse Neil. Loads of pratting about all over the place.
   ODB got a licence to kill Mickie James in a street fight but she put her face in the way of the steel chair she was waving around, and that was her done for. More fillers. RVD went against Robbie E. (smaller in stature and talent) for the TV title, so there was bound to be a swindle on the way, and no surprise when it arrived.
   Finally, Hardy versus Styles versus Roode, who got plenty of pounding to start, then the other two got into a shoving match. Roode tried to pick up the scraps and got more pounded. But Jarrett joined in to let Roode get the "win", which brought Stink out with consequences for the next ppv.

[Wednesday, 07th] Burn Notice [21:00, FX] Mike wanted to give his list of bad guys to the US government via Marve, Jesse's former handler. Sam was looking for a missing cop, who was supposed to have a stash of coke. But a scumbag said he killed Kevin for Pete, Kevin's partner, and the real dirty cop. Sam cooked up some napalm for Mike's attempt to set up Pete.
   Pete had to be convinced that Kevin wasn't dead and talking to Internal Affairs; which got Mike almost blown up with Kevin's boat. Sam forced Pete's lieutenant; at gunpoint; into busting Pete with the coke. Kevin got his good name back. Mike handed the list over to Marve, but he was in the hands of the psycho Tyler Brennan, who shot Marve and strolled off with the list. To be continued.

[Thursday, 08th] The Mental Case [Blood and Sand, 21:00, Channel 5] A body washed up on the beach at an island. Talia was in foster care and she'd been raped. Jane proved that she'd been killed on the island, where all sorts of weird people lived. Van Pelt had a problem with beating up suspects and Lisbon had to give her a talking to.
   A suspect fingered Edward Fish, who had killed Talia's father and escaped with $300,000, so he had a new face. Jane wound up the islanders mercilessly and exposed Mr. Fish despite his new identity. And the CBI also busted another, younger guy for the rape/murder.
WW$ Raw [22:00, Sky Sports 2] Loadsa jawing. Mizrabul had to beat Orton to get a title shot, so Barrett joined in and Orton gave up. Rio had to do the same against the cosmetically bandaged D. Bryan, who gave up without outside help. The Divas had a tag shambles and Kelly got to sneak up on, pin and upset Glamzilla. The Vault: Mysterio versus Ziggles.
   Cena had to beat his current best mate, Zack Ryder, for his title shot. So he demanded another chance for Ryder, who had to go again, no DQ, against Mark Henry, which let Cena fell Henry for Ryder to pin and get a shot at the US title.
   Kevin Nash, who looks like he's ducked his head in a bucket of hair dye because he was very grey & grizzled at TNA, didn't take long to marmalyze Santino. Would Shameless lie down for Ziggles? No, a big boot to the mush felled Ziggles. Then the pantomime of a contract signing.

[Friday, 09th] Bones [20:00, Living] The dead letter office contained a dead guy in lots of boxes with non-existent addresses so that they would be opened eventually. The guys at the lab had lots of fun finding out that a guillotine had been used to chop up dead Oliver, whose lottery ticket had won $60 million.
   Incidentally, Agent Booth wasn't bothered that his no good, alcoholic father had died but his grandfather, who raised Booth, was feeling the loss of a son. And the robotic, and heavily pregnant, Dr. Brennan kept thinking she should be doing something for Booth.
   The gang had 4 suspects, a butt-print and the fact that the killer had used a tape gun left-handed on Oliver to work from. The guy with the fake 1,000-year-old pendant, who had been selling magic mushrooms, was nailed. And at the end, Brennan forced to Booth to open the box and find that his dad had been awarded the Purple Heart.
Time Team [21:00, Discovery History] A hill fort in Oxfordshire had trouble with newts, which had to be searched for and removed. There was a higher hill just 200 yards away from the fort but it was covered with too many trees for the geophysics crew. The team found lots of Roman stuff at first, and kidded themselves that they could be on the track of a Roman church.
   The site consisted of 2 separate Iron Age settlements, one on the hill and one below the hill, then a gap of 300 years before Romans built a villa, rather than a church, on unoccupied land. The extent of the site just grew and grew the more it was surveyed, and not a single newt was spotted.

[Saturday, 10th] Megashark versus Crocasaurus (2010) [20:00, Syfy] An earthquake in a mine releases a freakin' huge croc while Lt. Terry of the US Navy is trying to control sharks with sound waves. The captain of his research ship doesn't want to believe that the megashark is still alive after its battle with a giant octopus, but it attacks the ship and Terry is the sole survivor.
   An Aussie lady from the mine recruits great white hunter Nigel to see off the croc so the mine can be reopened. The croc chomps both of them but spits Nigel out when he gives it knockout drops. He's transporting the croc and its eggs on a tramp steamer when the shark attacks the boat.
   Special Agent Hutchinson recruits Lt. Terry and Nigel to the cause of slaying the shark. The US air force takes out some eggs with missles so the croc attacks Miami. But Terry uses a nuclear power station to give it an arc-flash. The plan becomes to blow up the shark and the croc in the Panama Canal.
   That doesn't work and the US Navy finds that there are hatching croc eggs everywhere! The shark eats a nuclear sub while the croc takes a trip to Hawaii. Terry uses his gadget to set off a volcano and take out the shark and the croc. But if there has to be another sequel, he probably didn't succeed.

[Sunday, 11th] NFL Sunday [18:05, Sky Sports 4] The Saints at the Titans. The Saints had lots of offense but killed themselves with penalties. Their opening drive ended in just a FG and they lost a punt-return for a TD to a penalty. The Titans caught the penalty disease in Q2, they made a 1st and 25 then found themselves back facing 1st & 35. Hasselbeck went off injured before the punt.
   The Titans caught up with a FG with 6 minutes of the half left but the Saints finished it with a FG for 6-3. In Q3, Locker struggled, as Hasselbeck had, Graham lost a TD to a review and the Saints kicked a FG with 4 minutes of the quarter left. 9-3.
   Williams took a pass 54 and he was kept out of the NO end zone by a face-mask grab. But Locker ran in a TD for 9-10. Then the pictures got hiccups but we saw Colston's TD for NO on Red Zone. 16-10. We got the pictures back for another Colston TD. 22-10 after a 2-point try flopped.
   A TD pass to Washington brought the Titans to 22-17, and they continued to press but the Saints' defence held up for the road win.
Over to the Raiders in Green Bay [21:17, Sky Sports 4], where Smith picked Palmer and set up a 1-play drive; a TD run for Grant. 0-7. The Pack's next drive was longer, and it gave Taylor his first NFL TD. 0-14. Crosby added a FG in Q2 for 0-17. Another GB drive, some big passes and a TD for Nelson. 0-24.
   Grant made a TD run. 0-31. A sack/fumble on Rodgers saw Wimbley get the ball and finish up in the GB end zone. But a clipping penalty on the Raiders wiped that out and a review got the fumble declared an incomplete pass. But the drive ended with a pick/touchback in the OR end zone. The Raiders got close but a pick by Francois stopped them as the half ran out.
   The Raiders tried to challenge the Q3 kickoff return but the replay gear had broken down! A sack by McClain held the Pack to a FG. 0-34. Bush made a 2-yard run for a Raiders' TD. 7-34. A 49-yard FG for Crosby increased the lead to 7-37. Walden made a Lambeau Leap after taking a fumble recovery into the OR end zone, and the now working replay gear confirmed the fumble. 7-43 after the extra point was blocked.
   Flynn took over from Rodgers. Crosby kicked another FG at the start of the Q4. 7-46. McClain sacked Flynn in the GB end zone for a safety. 9-46. Zombo got to Palmer but the Raiders carried on to a TD pass for Boss. 16-46. An interception by Shields put the tin lid on the Pack going 13-0.

[Monday, 12th] New Mythbusters [21:00, Discovery] The Wheel of Mythfortune was used to select random myths from viewers. Adam & Jamie tackled the Monty Hall paradox: given 3 doors with a prize behind one of them, is it better to switch after a no-prize door is opened or stick to your first choice? 20/20 volunteers chose to stick so A&J did their own trial, and Adam the switcher won hands down as his chances of winning were 2 in 3 compared to Jamie the sticker's one in 3. Myth Confirmed.
   Does hitting the deck beyond the blast wave offer protection from grenade shrapnel? The Juniors found that the blast kill zone extends 5 feet, and that both pineapple and baseball grenades send shrapnel everywhere, both high and low. So Myth Busted.
   Can you load 3,100 lbs of building materials onto a particular make of car, secure the load with twine and drive off? A&J did just that and found, to their amazement, that they could drive around the car park. Myth Confirmed.
   Can you reset a deflated tyre on its rim and inflate it using ignited starter fluid? The Juniors found that they could do it with a car and a truck tyre, but when the fire went out and the gases cooled, there was no pressure in the tyre. Myth Busted.
   Is any of the fancy gun styles a match for the conventional Weaver position with its 2-handed grip? Firing from the hip sent bullets everywhere so Busted. Arm straight from the shoulder brought the sights into play and was very effective so Confirmed. Holding the gun sideways like a gangster was rubbish, so Busted. Same with shooting 2 guns simultaneously and shooting 2 guns with the arms crossed.

[Tuesday, 13th] CSI:Miasmi [GO, 21:00, Channel 5] Accountant Neil was bashed by a yob in a club then found red-handed with the yob's blood and the body in a rest room. No body, no Neil when the Cheesies arrived. Also, no Olivia, the club employee he tried to protect from the yob. A body turned up in the boot of Neil's car, but it was a medical cadaver dressed in the yob's outfit!
   The Cheesies thrashed around then discovered that Neil's brother had arranged a reality game for him because he was too honest with clients of their business. But Leo didn't bank on Neil's wife crashing into the game and killing "Olivia" after assuming Neil was having an affair with her. Psycho scriptwriter, or what!

[Wednesday, 14th] NCIS [Yankee White, 19:00, FX] By chance, we caught the very first episode! A plot to kill the president on Air Force One saw Gibbs & Co. running rings around the FBI and the Secret Service, and his gang cracking the case. SS Agent Kate got the sack so Gibbs recruited her. Very strange with no McGee about. Dinbozo was established as obnoxious right away, Ducky was a normal person and Abby's weirdness was a work yet to develop.
NCIS [Hung Out To Dry, 20:00, FX] Next up, episode 2. A marine was killed on a night parachute exercise. Gibbs beat the system by bamboozling people. Cpl. Thumper had clearly been murdered and it looked like Cpl. Ramsey was being framed. Gibbs & Dinbozo joined the next training flight and outed the killer – a drug dealer – with the sabotaged reserve parachute.
Burn Notice [21:00, FX] Brennan wanted to Mike to kill the people named on the thumb drive; the ones who got Mike burned; or he'd be shopped to Vaughn. Mike had to work with Larry the Spy. Jesse had to lie to his former Agency about the situation. Mike talked Brennan into kidnapping the first guy instead of killing him; but Larry fed the guy a grenade.
   Sam & Co. found out where Brennan was keeping the list. Larry then stuck a knife in Brennan so that Vaughn would go after Mike and Mike would need Larry's help. Sam & Co. grabbed the safe before Larry arrived with Mike & Brennan's body, and Larry was busted.
   Everyone bugged out of Miami before Brennan's insurance email went to Vaughn and the plan became to get the list to the US government before Vaughn got Mike.

[Thursday, 15th] NCIS [Seadog, 19:00, FX] A dead officer on a beach, boat shot up, 2 more bodies up the coast, no boat; drug dealers or jacked fot the boat? Kate spotted the counterfeit banknotes. Frank, the local drug guy though the funny money crew were rivals. Agent Fornell of the FBI joined in and announced that the killers were terrorists.
   The plan turned out to be to cause a cascade failure of the eastern power grid. Fornell went off in the wrong direction but NCIS saved the day, natch. And "Seadog", the dead naval officer, was cleared of suspicion of being involved in drug dealing and had his reputation restored.
NCIS [The Immortals, 20:00, FX] A tourist visiting a coral reef found a sailor on the seabed. He went overboard in an officer's rig with weights. Not suicide, his mom said, so Gibbs, Kate & Dinbozo took a trip on his destroyer, where all the techies were on-line games mad.
   McDonald was into role-playing and he went into the sea alive. He had been fighting a rival gamer on the ship with real swords; Dinbozo got a trip to Puerto Rico out of that. McDonald was nuts and he had tried to prove he was immortal by walking ashore; but he drowned. And he'd left a bomb in the captain's cabin. So NCIS to the rescue.
The Mental Case [Where in the world is Carmine O'Brien?, 21:00, Channel 5] A police chief had been shot, put in the boot of her car, escaped causing the killer to crash the car and been shot dead. Lisbon's brother had become a bounty hunter and he'd told the chief about the fugitive O'Brien. A dodgy Russian was rousted and Cho was run down by the brother's van while chasing O'Brien.
   Van Pelt set a honey-trap for the groping Russian. The brother pretended to give up the bounty hunter business but Jane let him stroll off with O'Brien as part of a plan to catch the chief's killer; the coke-head Ted.

[Friday, 16th] NCIS [The Curse, 19:00, FX] An aircraft drop tank with a mummified lieutenant in it. He was supposed to have stolen $1.2 million. Murdered then stuffed in the pod. Gibbs & Co. visited the USS D.W. Eisenhower, where Agent Owens, who did the original sloppy investigation, got a hard time. The widow was married to one of the suspects, and Kate wanted her to get her the lieutenant's benefits by proving his innocence.
   Another suspect had won the lottery; she'd been in the Navy to bag an officer husband. Owens got to play in the NCIS officer. Kate decided that the pilot Martinez and the gold digger had stolen the cash, and she had killed Martinez. So the bimbo was scammed into confessing and the widow got her benefits.
NCIS [High Seas, 20:00, FX] A crewman of the USS Enterprise was found naked in a freezer, and full of meth despite testing negative shortly before. Agent Burley, who used to work for Gibbs, invited him to help, so lessons in navigation aboard a carrier for Kate. The PO told Gibbs that he didn't do drugs. Then another sailor ended up in the sickbay, methed up.
   The CPO in charge of the top deck team was suspected, but he was just handing out caffeine tablets. Someone was replacing the samples sent off the ship for drug testing, so the CPO and the drug-test officer were tricked and busted. The CPO was unrepenant as his team had recovered every aircraft safely during the Gulf war.

[Saturday, 17th] Weather Wars (2011) [20:00, SyfyHD] A mad scientist called up a storm over Washington DC; blood rain and red lighting! Dr. Grange swore revenge when Senator Aldridge cut off the funding to his weather control project. Grange had 2 sons, David (a cop) and Jacob, who was contacted by Samantha, his dad's research assistant. She told Jacob: "We're all in danger."
   Crazy dad took out the Pentagon with a storm. David tried to track him down. The senator set the Feds on David, Jacob and Sam when they tried to warn him that he was in danger. A tornado took out the Washington Monument then the sons worked out what dad was doing.
   The senator's daughter was killed by another storm. Jacob found Dad in a decommissioned nuclear power station and joined him because he wanted to be like dad. David declared weather war on his dad and used an orbiting weapon to save D.C. Missiles took out the power station, which was hit by a tornado next. Dad didn't make it but Jacob and dropped off the grid, ready to carry on his dad's work in a sequel.

[Sunday, 18th] NFL Sunday [17:30, Sky Sports 3] The Redskins at the Giants, who needed a win. The Giants intercepted the Skins' first play, only to go 3 and out. The Redskins drove to a FG. The Giants did nothing with another interception.
   The next Redskins' scoring drive went into Q2 and yielded a TD. 10-0. An interception stopped the Giants and the crowd was booing the home team when the Skins went 17-0 up with another TD. The Giants managed to finish the first half with a FG. 17-3.
   An interception by Hall stopped the Giants' Q3 opener and put the Skins 20-3 up after a FG. The Giants missed a 44 yard FG try but the Skins nailed another. 23-3 with Q4 left. Finally, the Giants looked like they'd showed up after lots of drops by receivers but an interception by Wilson stopped them dead.
   Pass interference by the Redskins' defence got the Giants close, they had a TD taken away by a review, 91 sacked Manning and stopped the drive. 98 got a sack in the next Giants' drive, which produced a consolation TD. 23-10 final on a day on which they were rubbish.
   In other early matches, the Packers lost for the first time this season at Kansas city just before the Peyton Manningless Colts, at home against the Titans, got their first win.
Next, it was Tebow Time; the Patriots in Denver, which started as a shoot-out. Tebow fought out of a sack attempt to score the first TD. 0-6 after the PAT snap was botched. The Patriots marched to a TD, the Broncos did the same. 7-13 at the end of Q1.
   Denver settled for a FG, the Patriots hit the DB end zone again. 14-16. A fumble recovery on the 1st DB play gave the Pats a short field but just a FG. 17-16. The Pats went further ahead with another TD inside the last 2 minutes for 24-16 and a screw up by the Denver kick returner gave the Pats another FG to end the half 27-16 up.
   The Pats remained relentless and went 34-16 up in Q3 as Tebow and his side struggled; although Brady wasn't immune from being sacked. Tebow got another TD; his side's final score; in Q4, the Patriots struck again for 41-23 and a sack on a desperately scrambling Tebow for a loss of 29 yards summed up how the second half had gone for Denver.

[Monday, 19th] NCIS [Minimum Security, 19:00, FX] Dead man driving a car; he hasn't got gall stones, he's got emeralds! The sailor was just in from Cuba so NCIS went off to Camp Gitmo to interview one of the gits and keep Agent-on-the-spot Paula Cassidy out of the loop. The emeralds were from Afghanistan.
   The guy who gave the dead sailor the stones was in the prison to kill another inmate: bin Laden's son-in-law. Gibbs hoped that keeping the target alive would make him grateful enough to talk. Cassidy was allowed to charm Nazir, the killer, and make sure that he failed.
NCIS [Marine Down, 20:00, FX] Everyone was at the range when a dead Marine called his widow. NCIS efforts to see his records were blocked because he had been working with the CIA in Colombia and Gibbs got the run-around from a bogus colonel. Kate showed off her artistic talent and sketched the guy.
   Dr. Mallard found that the body had been expertly embalmed while the Marine was still alive. His colleague, Major Perry, wasn't in his grave. The 2 Marines had been involved in a $2M kidnapping in Colombia, so Gibbs & Co. went there to bust the funeral parlour and rescue Perry.
New Mythbusters [21:00, Discovery] Is the Lethal Weapon 2 escape from the toilet bomb feasible? Adam & Jamie took 2 seconds to get both of them into a bath under a bomb blanket, even after Jamie had been sitting on the toilet for 2 hours wearing a bullet-proof vest.
   Will flying in a V-formation like birds save fuel in planes? The Juniors got proof of concept with models at NASA then got a 9-strong stunt team to do the flying. The planes flew in a V, in a line side-by-side and line astern, and the myth was Confirmed. But would anyone want to fly a plane-length from another aircraft? Some benefit with the planes further apart but not much.
   Would pouring liquid nitrogen on the bomb give a 2-second delay? Freezing C4 made little difference but there was no boom! when the battery in the circuit was frozen, and it took 15 minutes to thaw out, so no bathtub dive needed. Finally, Buster was parked in the bath to see if he would survive. Boom! Bathroom gone but Buster still alive if a little dead. Myth Confirmed.

[Tuesday, 20th] NCIS [Left For Dead, 19:00, FX] A woman risen from a grave, raving about a bomb on a navy ship. Kate took her under her wing after she remembered her name. The attacker was dead in her hotel room? The bludgeoned corpse wasn't the undertaker.
   Suzanne was working for a German explosives company. She recalled killing the dead guy but said nothing; he was the firm's security chief. She was making undetectable explosives and the CEO buried her because she was crazy. So she blew herself up and took him with her.
NCIS [Eye Spy, 19:00, FX] Spooks spying on a naked woman on a beach saw a murder and tipped off NCIS anonymously. The dead Lt. Commander was doing tests with a hand-held sonar device and not happy about its performance. The company needed it sell it to the Navy to avoid collapse. Dinbozo went to McGee for help around CIA obstruction and Abby used a NASA contact.
   With the prototype missing, the company had more time to fix the bugs. The naked sunbather said the killer was female and military; Ms Tyler, the dead guy's boss, with whom he was having an affair? No, the military widow knew about the affair and was tailed to where she'd buried the gadget after doing in her old man.
CSI:Miasmi, Season 9 finale [Mayday, 21:00, Channel 5] A woman in a car boot goes off a pier. 6 hours earlier, Mr. Toller, the last of the 5 escapers, was being flown to Miami when his crew tried to take over the plane, and he got away when it landed. Toller's cellmate, Roddy, was hassled and Toller paid off another helper in lead.
   Toller kidnapped a 15-year-old girl. A female Secret Service agent ended up in Horatio's cells before identifying herself; Toller had printing plates for sale. The buyer for the plates was popped and the girl rescued. But Toller and a pair of plates were missing.
   The cellmate shot Horatio (not dead) and put Boa Vista in the car boot because he'd been cheating on his deal with her and he was going back to gaol. BV went into the drink after H. shot Roddy. Has BV bunged the scriptwriter enough to return in Season 10?

[Wednesday, 21st] NCIS [My Other Left Foot, 19:00, FX] A junk dealer found a leg with a convenient Semper Fi tattoo. The titanium ankle joint was even more convenient. The leg was sawn off post-morten, Dr. Mallard decided, and recently. Strange, as the Marine had died of a heart attack in a small-town doctor's office 2 years before and cremated at the half-sister's request.
   Lots of speculation about Kate's tattoo. The half-sister had collected on a $750K insurance policy and the Marine who'd actually had the heart attack was ID'd. The sycamore DNA test paid off, the half-sister was harassed and she gave away the fact that the ancient and lethal doctor, who'd killed both Marines, was her mom.
NCIS [One Shot, One Kill, 20:00, FX] A Marine recruiting sergeant with a talent for writing cheques which his ass couldn't cash was shot dead in his office. The killer was a trained sniper of military grade. Kate dug out a suspect; not him. Another shooting and the FBI tried to horn in, but Gibbs & Co. strolled off with the bullet.
   Gibbs decided that the shooter wasn't a serving Marine, he was a reject. So NCIS set up a trap and Dinbozo got to blow the psycho reject away before the FBI swarmed in to grab the credit for cracking the case.
Burn Notice, Season 4 finale [21:00, FX] Threatening Vaughn's outfit of criminals and rogues inside the system with exposure left Mike in big trouble. Especially as the FBI was in Vaughn's pocket. Fee started to get cold feet just before Vaughn's men arrived to shoot up Mike's car, so some mad driving, a crash which broke Jesse's leg and Vaughn turned up for a siege.
    Mike got the cops to turn out but Vaughn sent them away. So Mike made a bomb. Mike's mom blackmailed her tame Congressman into helping and Sam turned the screw a bit. Fee tried to scam Vaughn but he'd grabbed Mom.
   Mike decided to sacrifice himself so that Fee & Jesse could get away with the list and save Mom. Fee stayed to fight. Sam's Special Forces cavalry saved the day and busted Vaughn. Mike was dragged off for interrogation; and ended up back in the fold in D.C.
   (Or did he, if there's a Season 5?)

[Thursday, 22nd] NCIS [The Good Samaritan, 19:00, FX] A dead dentist in Grayson County; stripped & executed; and the lady sheriff was up for re-election, she wanted all the credit and she threw herself at Gibbs. A similar killing; a copycat body dump? Gibbs decided that the killer was a woman, who did both murders, Abby found.
   Gibbs went after the widow of a pilot, the next victim, who was having a nasty divorce. Her doctor was harassed a bit but the killer twin sisters fell into Gibbs' trap; and then the lady sheriff grabbed the meeja credit.
NCIS [Enigma, 20:00, FX] A Marine Colonel went missing from Iraq with $2 million of recovered Saddam loot. The FBI put him on their Most Wanted list. Gibbs used to work with him. The Colonel told Gibbs that cash was being smuggled out of Iraq to fund black ops. There was a body in the Colonel's cabin; an FBI agent; and a bomb.
   Gibbs found that the FBI had been lying to him then Agent Fornell turned up. Ryan claimed he was working with Lt. Cameron, who had been dead for 14 years. They were trying to expose a conspiracy, like Vaughn's in Burn Notice. Fornell got a warrant for Gibbs' arrest when he continued to try to help Col. Ryan, who had a big stash of weapons and who turned out to be crazy.
The Mental Case [Blinking Red Light, 21:00, Channel 5] Another multiple killer. Jane told Lisbon to follow her instinct to get the 8 suspects down to one, and he got close to James, who had a website about the killer. The suspect was busted for being in possession of his own photographs, and walked when his lawyer threatened to sue.
   Jane decided that James had to be the killer so he had the innocent guy arrested again and set out to destroy James' morale. Jane's trap didn't work so he joined James on a TV news show and got James to tell the world that Red John was rubbish compared to the currently active serial killer. Surprise! Red John did for James, the crazy but untouchable killer.

[Friday, 23rd] NCIS [Bete Noire, 19:00, FX] A body bag containing a live guy with a gun arrives for Dr. Mallard's attention. The occupant turns out to be a Hamas terrorist, who wants the body of another dead Hamas agent and all the related samples and evidence collected by Abby. Gibbs finds there's no video feed from Autopsy and the terrorist doesn't buy Kate pretending to be Abby.
   Gibbs warns the director about a hostage situation. Gerald, Duckie's assistant, is shot in the shoulder. Gibbs deduces that Hamas tried to put an infected agent on the kitchen staff of a US base; a smallpox variant. The invader's assistant is taken out, but the bad guy himself escapes.
NFL Special [20:00, Sky Sports 3] was a replay of the Texans at the Colts. The Texans forced and recovered a fumble on the first play by the Colts and took one more play to score a TD. 7-0 after less than a minute. The Colts went 3 & out. Mathis got the ball back from a strip/sack but the offense did nothing. A FG from the Colts' next drive, however. 7-3.
   A FG for the Texans made it 10-3 at the end of Q1 but penalties on them kept an IC drive going to another FG. 10-6. The defences held up. The Colts' 2-minute drill got them to a long FG try at the end of Q2 but the kick missed.
   Foster went over 100 yards rushing for the Texans in their opening drive of Q3, and which produced a FG. 13-6. More for the punters to do until the Colts managed a FG in the last minute of the quarter. 13-9.
   A promising Q4 drive by the Colts ended in yet another FG. 13-12. A ball which bounced off the receiver and a Colt to another Texan kept a drive going inside the last 3 minutes and the Texans went to 16-12 with a FG. A 34 yard pass to Wayne got the Colts to the TX 20 with 46 seconds left, and 2 unjustified penalties on the Texans handed the win to the Colts via a TD pass to Wayne. 16-19 final and the Texans were robbed by the officials.

[Saturday, 24th] NFL Saturday [19:30, Sky Sports 1] started at the Jets versus the Giants as the "home" team in their shared New Jersey stadium. Apparently, the Jets were set to position themselves as the No. 1 New York team, and they looked like doing it in the first half. The Jets scored first with a TD. The Giants managed a FG thanks to penalties on the Jets for 3-7.
   Giants' receivers had the drops but Cruz burst through dodgy coverage just before the 2 Minute Warning for a 99-yard TD! 10-7. The Giants' defense lost a TD to a review but a sack by Pierre-Paul left Folk too far away on a FG try as the half ran out.
   Lots for the punters to do in Q3 then Cruz went 36 yards, Jacobs rushed for 28 yards and Bradshaw rushed for a TD to light up the last seconds of Q3. 17-7. In Q4, the Giants stopped the Jets with a pick and added a FG to their tally. 20-7. Jets' receivers stopped looking for the ball.
   Both offenses spluttered but the Jets managed a 1 yard TD run by Sanchez to get to 20-14. Canty nailed Sanchez in his own end zone for 22-14. And when Bradshaw rushed for another TD, it was 29-14, game over and bragging rights to the Giants.
Next to the Eagles, who would be put out of the play-offs by the Giants' win, versus the Cowboys, who had nothing much to prove. The Eagles took their opening drive to a TD pass to Celek. 7-0. The Cowboys lost Romo to a hand injury in Q1. The Eagles almost scored again in the last minutes of the quarter, but Avant fumbled into the end zone while diving for the line. But inside the last 2 minutes, the Eagles ripped through the Dallas defence to a TD pass to Macklin at the back of the end zone. 14-0.
   In Q3, a sack for T. Cole on McGee, the Dallas deputy QB, Celek took a pass from Vick 39 yards to the DC 20 before things went horribly wrong and the Eagles kicked a FG. 17-0. Parker sacked McGee, and Ware got one back on Vick early in Q4. Henery kicked another FG. 20-0.
   The Eagles seemed to be heading for a shut-out, especially when the Cowboys blew up on a 4th down in FG range; but their special teams blocked an Eagles' punt at the end of the quarter and the Cowboys got Austin in the PE end zone with the ball with 7 seconds left. 20-7 final.

[Xmas Day Sunday, 25th] Discovery History was having an Xmas Egypt day, which included:
16:00 – Engineering Ancient Egypt; which did an hour on Kufu's Great Pyramid, the biggest structure in the world for thousands of years and then an hour on Rameses II, who survived into his nineties and developed temple building and propaganda for the Rameses Brand to a fine art.
18:00 – Egypt's Mystery Chamber; the story of KV 63, which looked like a previously undiscovered burial in the Valley of the Kings but which turned out to be an embalmer's workshop full of materials in use at the time of King Tut's demise.
19:00 – Napoleon's Obsession: The Quest for Egypt; how the French emperor brought artists and engineers to study and record ancient Egypt while he was losing a fleet to the British navy and perpetrating atrocities against the Turks when his invasion went pear-shaped. But despite the military flop, he did get Egyptology started.
Back to the programmes with Burn Notice: the Fall of Sam Axe [20:00, FX] Set 2 years before Michael Weston was burnt, Sam was a commander in the US Navy, who was sent to Colombia by the admiral, with whose wife he'd been having a fling, and who faced a kangaroo court after he got back.
   Sam was supposed to do Observe & Report on an insurgent group and evacuate a clinic, which was in danger. But the doctors refused to go and he found out that Senor Veracruz, the local military boss, was planning to wipe out the clinic (and Sam), and blame it on the rebels to get US aid. Sam and a teenage female thief had to mount a rescue mission.
   The "rebels" turned out to be local sheep farmers led by an old guy who'd been in the army. Sam tried to deflect Veracruz but he ended up having to take over the rebel "army". He went to a secret CIA outpost for help and found it staffed by 2 unarmed, unhelpful nerds. He had to pull a gun on them to make them send for help.
   Sam and his army tried to delay Veracruz and the local military big boss. The aerial cavalry arrived in the nick of time, then the teenage kid admitted that she'd invented the Flaming Sword guerillas! Luckily, her dad owned the biggest newspaper in the country and Sam was able to use the threat of bad publicity to blackmail the admiral into giving him an honourable discharge from the navy and a cold beer.

[Boxing Day Monday, 26th] NCIS [Dead Man Talking, 19:00, FX] The guy who used to sit behind Kate was found murdered. What was he doing in that building? He had been working on a cold case involving Commander Voss, who had vanished with $12 million from a scam. Gibbs brought in McGee and the gang homed in on an Amanda.
   Abby found that the remains from a fire, which were supposed to belong to Voss, were bogus. Dinbozo started making up to Amanda. Shock, horror! Amanda was Voss in disguise! And Dinbozo went out on a date with him/her. Gibbs gave Voss the Order of the Bullet and Dinbozo had to live with his embarrassment.
NCIS [Missing, 19:00, FX] A gunnery sergeant found a rotting corpse in an alley just before he was disappeared. Sgt. Atlas ended up chained in a dungeon with the corpse. Abby found that 3 others from a unit of 6 had disappeared. Then she found that a 4th member of the group was also dead.
   Dinbozo tailed the only surviving suspect but he was drugged and grabbed. Atlas told him that the Marines had shipped some girlfriends home in a container, but they had starved to death. Wrong. The killer was the sole survivor and she was plumb crazy.

[Holiday Tuesday, 27th] Thursday Night Football replay [17:00, ESPN] started as a shoot-out between the Falcons and the Saints in New Orleans. The Falcons were blitzed to a stop in FG range. The Saints started their first drive with a 38 yard pass play to Moore and battered into the AF end zone with Thomas finishing the job. 3-7. The Falcons came back with a laser TD pass to Jones. 10-7.
   Colston took a TD pass for the Saints in Q2 then the defences gave the punters some work until it was time for the Saints to show off their 2-Minute Drill to a TD pass to Graham. 10-21 at the half.
   The Falcons stopped the Saints in Q3 with a spectacular interception catch by Robinson, but got nowhere. Meachem took the next Saints' TD pass. The Falcons managed a 51 yard FG in reply and held the next Saints' drive to a short FG after Sproles had returned their kick off 92 yards to the AF 14. 13-31.
   The Falcons drove into Q4 to another FG. Their next drive ended in a fumble, which was recovered by Jenkins and returned for a NO TD. 16-38. Brees broke Dan Marino's single-season passing record (well, longer season, easier to do it) with a TD pass to Sproles and that was it. 16-45 final and the Falcons killed themselves with penalties.
NCIS [19:00, FX] Kids pratting about found a body; a Marine staked and blown away with an RPG. There was a picture of lots of weapons in the sergeant's living room on his recovered hard disk drive; he'd been in charge of destroying defective weapons. Dinbozo went undercover and ran into a lady ATF agent, who was buying from the sergeant.
   Gibbs took over Agent Stone, who set up a meeting with her client. Kate cracked another sergeant in the racket. Then Gibbs took one in the chest with lots of fake blood to set up the AFT lady and her boxing lady corporal buddy.

[Wednesday, 28th] NCIS [Reveille, 19:00, FX] One female body in a bag. McGee was working on identifying the Hamas killer and Gibbs, who had the hump big-time, wanted Kate to profile the guy. Gibbs was sure that the Israelis were lying when they said they had no file on him. There was a plot afoot to grab Pres. Sharon on a visit to D.C. and Dinbozo was being vamped on by one of the gang.
   The terrorist kidnapped Kate. The killer told her that he was a Mossad undercover and McGee tracked him down to Dr. Mallard's university in Edinburgh. FBI Agent Fornell told Gibbs to lay off "Ari", who killed Marta, the woman honey-trapping Dinbozo, so she could take the blame for the failure of the kidnap plot, and Gibbs put a bullet in Ari in return for the one inflicted on Gerald.
NCIS [See No Evil, 20:00, FX] Captain Watson's wife and blind musical prodigy daughter were kidnapped, and a guy on his computer wanted $2 million ransom from various US contingency funds. The kid was released and she was able to provide some useful information about where she had been held.
   McGee and Abby hacked the bad guy's computer connection to the Pentagon and identified him as a Petty Office sent to gaol by Capt. Watson for embezzlement. The bad guy was nailed after Captain Watson had sent the ransom whizzing around the world electronically. But Abby tracked it, and when it arrived back in D.C.; Capt. Watson collected it and he was busted. At the end, Gibbs recruited McGee.

[Thursday, 29th] NCIS [The Good Wives Club, 19:00, FX] A body in a hole in the ground at a demolition site; a tunnel from a nearby house. The woman had been dead for a year and she was surrounded by stuff from the 1950s in the bunker. The killer had another "perfect wife candidate" elsewhere and Dinbozo kept being a jerk.
   McGee spotted another missing petty officer. The team was distracted by a cannabis ranch but eventually got on the trail of a crazy priest, who shot himself. When the PO was found, she clobbered Dinbozo, suffering from Stockholm Syndrome!
NCIS [Vanished, 20:00, FX] A helicopter in a crop circle set! The crew of 2 missing. No, one of them was still in his quarters and he said the other pilot went off on his own. The mob at nearby Smoky Corners was up to something, and who was the body in the burnt-out cabin? The missing captain's brother.
   McGee upset Abby by finding that the chopper had made its own circle and the others had then been added. The team uncovered a feud in the valley and found that the captain was going to kill his brother's pregnant girlfriend's father for killing his brother. But Gibbs busted the killer and the town's sheriff and defused the captain.
The Mental Case [Pink Tops, 21:00, Channel 5] A dead woman near a club turned out to be an undercover cop. Her cousin had been trying to find out if she was having an affair. The hooker who stole the dead woman's credit card said there was a big drug deal in the offing. The dead cop's boss didn't know that the club had been done over by the Perry Boys. Was the dead cop in with them?
   Jane stole some drugs from the police property room. The Perrys were dead when the CBI tried to bust them. Jane bamboozled Vega, the club owner and dealer, into kidnapping him. Then he offered Vega a deal to out the real dirty cop. Enter the CBI in the nick of time when Vega was thinking of shooting both Jane and the dead cop's dirty partner.

[Friday, 30th] WW$ Raw [17:00, Sky Sports 3] Booker T had to waste quite a lot of time on that posturing prick Cody Rhodes, who was obliged to lie down for Booker in the end. Cue a Spinnerooni! Eve + Ryder versus Natty + Kidd didn't last long before the latter team was flattened. Cena to lie down for Mizrabul? Kane to join in? No, Mirz chickened out of the contest and Truth beat him up.
   Big Show's joke match with P'Chunga had Henry and D. Bryan joining in. Rio pratted about in a wheelchair. Punk beat Swagger then Mr. Laryngitis joined in a swindle for Ziggles. Finally, the re-masked, hairy Kane ranted.
NCIS [Lt. Jane Doe, 19:00, FX] Dr. Mallard abandoned a trip to London for a woman dressed as a Navy lieutenant with a trident carved on her neck. He'd failed to identify the victim of a similar rape/murder 10 years before; his only unidentified body. Gibbs harassed a CPO suspect, who turned out to be a homophile.
   The killer of the first woman was identified; he'd been in gaol for 10 years. Forensic indicated that he'd raped the second woman 6 weeks after his death! The team homed in on the helpful female PO, whom McGee used to know at Norfolk. She turned out to be a homophile copy-cat killer.
NCIS [The Bone Yard, 20:00, FX] A man was blown up on a bomb range and Gibbs followed his trail back to another, ancient corpse. The range was being used as a serial killer's dumping ground! Abby got a fingerprint match, then found herself being hacked; by the FBI. The newly dead guy was an undercover.
   Lots more bodies on the range; the Mafia had been dumping kills there. Agent Fornell arrived to admit that the FBI had a mole and the Bureau though it was him. So he ended up in goal, where he hanged himself. Kate scammed a clinic for DNA from Ricky, a Mafia guy's son. Gibbs blackmailed his dad into exposing the mole. Ricky still went to gaol. And Fornell wasn't really dead.

[Saturday, 31st] Poirot [The Third Floor Flat, 18:00, ITV 4] A new tenant arrived at Hercule's building. The man himself had a bad cold and no cases. Capt. Hastings challenged him to solve a murder mystery play. The author turned out to be an idiot. Luckily, the new lady in 36b was done in.
   Inspector Japp went off on a false trail. Poirot knew everything with 20 minutes to go. The killer ran rings around everyone else and wrecked Capt. Hasting's car. But the blackmailed potential bigamist survived to be hanged. And the cold disappeared.
Morcambe & Wise: The Show What Paul Merton Did [21:00, BBC 2] was an excuse to show clips of these enduring stars with guests thrown in to pay tribute to the masters and get a spot of personal exposure: that Izzard bloke, Brucie, M&W writer Eddie Braben, Jack Dee, Andrew Preview on film and Angela Rippon.

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Sole © Clyde E. Wydey, 2011.