Several big problems stand in the new Prime Minister's way, including the Remainers in Parliament and the empire builders of the EU. They have buggered up our departure once.
Boris gets going . . .
PM Boris has a deal with the EU which bins the backstop. But will the Bremoaners accept the referendum result and back it? Breath not being held.
The Transport Sec. is making noises about nationalizing the failing Northern Rail franchise to remind the great British public just how HUGE a mess the waxworks in the public sector can make of running a railway.
The current Culture Vulture Sec. is making noises about binning the BBC licence fee and making the Beeb charge subscription fees for its outputs. But given the general uselessness of politicians, no one is holding their breath.
Nothing about protecting retired Armed Services personnel from malicious hysterical prosecutions in this month's Queen's Speech. So was that all talk?
Her Majesty's Government will put up council tax to pay for social care (if the councils actually spend the cash on that).
The government will seize aircraft belonging to failed travel firms in the future to reduce the cost to the taxpayer of bringing stranded customers home, Transport Sec. G. Shapps has decided.
Justice Sec. R. Buckland has abolished the death tax rise in probate fees planned by TheRazor May. Not fair and proportionate, he decided. But probate fees will be going up after a review. By how much remains to be seen.
PM Boris is set to indulge in government spending on an industrial scale, which will make Gordon F. Broon's recklessness look positively Aberdonian. Okay, if the world is going to end in 12 years, as Democrat wack job show-off AO-C contends, why not? We might as well live a little before we croak.
The Department of Health's strategy for the scandal caused by using diseased blood products from the USA in the 1970s and 1980s appears to be to obfuscate until everyone who is responsible, everyone who was killed or damaged and everyone who has heard of the scandal . . . is dead.
Housing Minister R. Jenrick is getting himself noticed by opposing the pernicious death tax on inheritance. Personal project or general election preparation?
The government is to ban the export of a number of drugs which are in short supply in the UK. These drugs command higher prices abroad as, surprisingly, the NHS has a couple of staff members who can bargain prices downwards.
Chancellor Javid is on the right track if he's thinking of abolishing the pernicious inheritance tax on already fully taxed assets. It is just legalized grave robbery affecting only the thrifty, the enterprising and their descendants.
If judges are going to play politics, it's only fair that the government should become involved in the process for appointing judges. And that the judiciary should be made aware of the possibility.
The government has booted the 2020 target for imposing 'smart' meters on an unwilling nation into the long grass of 2024 and reduced the requirement to 85% coverage. This is as unrealistic as the full coverage by 2020 target, the experts reckon. Expect further boots to 75% by 2028 and then 50% by 2030 so that the government of the day can claim a great triumph.
Our Prime Minister is going to find £220 MILLION to save the elephant and the rhino from Xtinction.
Has our Prime Minister binned TheRazor May's Divorce On Demand bill? The word is that it won't be in the up-coming Queen's Speech.
Our Prime Minister is going in to battle with the Northern Poorhouse, which has been created by the policies of successive Labour governments. He's planning to make the South of England's impoverished cousin great again by letting the North do what Brexiteers want to doTake Back Control.
Health Sec. M. Hancock would like to see the return of booze cruises to the Continent in search of duty-free alcohol and tobacco post-Brexit.
After endless deliberations, the Commons transport committee has realized that parking on the pavement should be made illegal everywhere, not just in London. Took the useless buggers long enough.
The Home Sec. is doing a good job of refusing to jump through hoops set up by self-important BBC bods. Let us hope that he can continue to show a bit of steel with upstarts.
The Chancellor is going to splurge £14 zillion pounds of taxpayers' money to remove the austerity alibi from opposition parties.
PM Boris has promised to donate £1 BILLION of the Brexit Bonus to the social care crisis.
PM Boris has warned Bremoaner Tory MPs to stay on side or risk losing the whip and the right to stand as an official Tory candidate at the next general election. Upset the gravy boat and there will be none for you, mate. He also has the option to veto the next EU budget to make sure that the rest of the EU don't vote to extend our membership beyond October 31st and increase his potential to make like as difficult for them as they're making it for us.
Downing Street's corps of advisers are trembling in their boots now that PM Boris has an Enforcer who is prepared to tackle the endemic Sieve Culture there. The new Cummings Culture is "one leak and you're gone, no matter how many ministers it upsets". They are upset, of course, because their faulty judgement in picking advisers is exposed. Especially if they're a bit of a wide boy. No names, no pack drill, though.
It has been revealed that Government ministers have been lying about H2S being on time and on budget for at least the last 3 yearssince G. Osborne was Chancellor. Politicians, eh?
The Energy Department is going to waste £1.5 BILLION of taxpayers' cash on pretending to make Africa greener and helping people to adapt to climate change. Naturally, the politicians, who are actually being paid to think up crap like this, think it's the dog's bollocks.
There is a Brexit clock at the Treasury to concentrate the minds of Chancellor Javid's minions but there isn't one at 10 Downing Street on the grounds that the delicate flowers who get paid for being there would find it too stressful. Aaaah!
Fixing social care is such an impossible task that it will take a long time to plan it before anything can actually be done, the PM has concluded.
Boris the Revolutionary is making noises about building the northern stretch of H2S first, where it actually has some hope of making a difference to travel times and convenience. This recognizes that the southern section will have zero real impact on travel times between London and Birmingham when swapping trains at the out-of-Brum interchange is taken in to account.
His kite ended up in Charlie Brown's kite-eating tree and the Chancellor, S. Javid, will not be making sellers pay the stamp duty on house purchases.
We have yet another government pledge to stop the persecution of armed services veterans, this one from the current Defence Sec., B. Wallace. Whether anything will actually come of it remains to be seen. Based on past performances, no one should be getting their hopes up. Similarly, his promise that Irish terrorists will end up in court is less than convincing. And something which will never happen under a Corbyn government, which would give them medals.
PM Johnson is pulling no punches. Brexit-blockers are traitors in cahoots with the EU, especially that deadleg Hammond.
The Office for National Sadistics has published figures showing that George Osborne, when Chancellor in 2016, got his Project Fear forecast for Brexit completely wrong. There has been no deep recession, no huge increases in unemployment and no to all the rest of Osborne's garbage. "Honest mistake"? Honesty and error had nothing to do with it. It was obviously just politics rather than reality.
Senior staff at DfID, the department which shovels taxpayers' cash down drains and into the pockets of despots, have been awarded cash bonuses of up to £10Kout of the much-abused pockets of the nation's taxpayers.
Our PM will produce £100 MILLION from his hip pocket to prevent drugs and phones from being smuggled into HM prisons. That's a lot of articles for the Daily Telegraph!
The Commons Transport Committee is eager to ban all phone use, including hands-free, whilst driving as a dangerous distraction. One small problemthe experts reckon that enforcement would be impossible. Which means that the MPs are out of touch with reality, as usual.
Our PM is putting an end to slaps on the wrist and putting bad people in gaol for a lot longer.
Our new Transport Sec., G. Shapp, is going to make our trains run on time. Good luck with that, mate!
PM Boris is going to give the NHS a one-off injection of £1.8 BILLION, including a fabric fund for hospital repairs.
The new Home Sec.'s main aim is to restore public faith in the police. She should live that long! Ambition is a fine thing but it would be nice if reality could break through occasionally. No party is ever going to be in office for the number of years needed to turn the current state of policing round.
P. Patel, the new Home Sec., wants criminals to live in fear rather than everyone else. Which makes a pleasant change. She is also indicating that while she would not vote for the restoration of the death penalty herself, she would not be broken up if others made it part of the criminal justice system again.
P.M. Boris is planning to nominate Project Fear-tainted sacked Chancelllor G. Osborne for the position of head of the International Monetary Fund. Presumably, for the pleasure of watching him lose to the inevitable German or Frog with an equally dodgy record and/or an obligatory criminal conviction for financial crime like the last incumbent (French).
Chancellor Javid is going to contribute £2.1 BILLION to preparing for a No Deal Brexit? No, it's actually the taxpayer who is going to have to cough up.
The Boris Plan is to spend lots of money and cut taxes. Good luck with that, mate!
The new PM is putting his non-masochist credentials on display by not going to Brussels to let the burrocraps there tell him 'Non' to a better Brexit deal.
PM Johnson, on his trip to Manchester, announced that he wanted to give the city a rail link to Leeds like Crossrail in London. Let us hope that he is talking about the concept rather than the execution as Crossrail is years late, still under construction and way, way above budget.
Let us hope that the PM's 20,000 more coppers recruited over the next 3 years have more sense than the idiots who bought the paedophile Nick's silly stories, and those of Labour's disgraced deputy leader T. Watson.
The PM is promising an Aussie-style points system for migration and backing an amnesty for migrants who have been here illegally for years as long as they are not criminals. There will be more stop & search but no death penalty, not even for Bremoaners. It will be NO DEAL if the EU won't play fair and no £39 BILLION, and maybe there will be a general election in the autumn to shake up Parliament.
Mr. Johnson has inflicted his combination of mad professor and evil genius, D. Cummings, on the waxwork civil servants around him. Will the fur fly? We'll see.
Has anyone mentioned to the current Health Secretary, M. Hancock, that his plan to put doctors online is going to lead to a lot of old folks croaking because they can't handle the internet? And also because 10 minutes' access to a GP can lead to lots of cases of misdiagnosis.
First order of business, a major change to the Cabinet. 17 of 28 ministers exchanged. Some, like the Chancellor, Hammond, and the Boris-haters quit before they could be fired. The rest went for one reason or another.